Daria Plekhanova: How to find your place in this life

In Indian philosophy there is a doctrine called dharma. This is a powerful concept that signifies order in the universe. According to this teaching, we all have a special role to play in this world, and one of life's greatest goals is to discover how to find our place in life.

“Be yourself, all other roles are already taken.”

— Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde presented the concept from a slightly different perspective: you can only be yourself. There is no need to imitate anyone. But how are you supposed to be yourself if you still don't know who you are?

There is only one solution to this problem: you need to find your place in life, your true calling. This journey may be brutal, but it will leave you feeling more fulfilled than you've ever felt.

Motivation is the inner drive that drives us through life.

If you are motivated enough, you can achieve almost every goal set in your life. Did you know that Clint Eastwood came from a very humble background and had many different jobs before he finally tried to become an actor? He wasn't very good either.

His appearance was striking, but he always became more rigid and unnatural when he played the role. After countless acting lessons and practice sessions, he became what we know as the most mysterious face ever seen on screen.

“I don't believe in pessimism. If things don't work out the way you want, move forward. If you think it's going to rain, it will."

- Clint Eastwood

Take a moment to think about this quote. Being yourself means allowing all your weaknesses and fears to surface. This is only necessary in extreme situations. In most cases, you can motivate yourself to continue the journey towards your goals.

Finding your place in life

Almost every person, with rare exceptions, builds his life by trial and error. It is not so often that you meet those who, already at a young age, realized their destiny, chose their professional path and the area of application of their natural talents. To make the search for the optimal path in life the shortest possible, it makes sense to engage in self-analysis.

A kind of inventory of your abilities and interests will help you find your own place in life. In order to get into your destiny and feel in your place, it is important that the business that a person chooses as the main one is in agreement with the person’s internal attitudes and preferences. If you choose a niche for yourself that you have no interest in, you may feel out of place for the rest of your days.

It is best if, in the process of searching for a profession, a person finds something for himself that arouses his sincere interest. To achieve professional success, you have to devote yourself to work completely, without reserve. It will be very difficult to maintain the necessary motivation if the business you are doing does not arouse your enthusiasm. In this sense, finding your place means finding something you will do with passion.

For those who are still searching for their place in life and thinking, we can recommend a very strong psychological move. It consists of consciously expanding the usual comfort zone. To do this, it may be enough to visit places where you have never been before, do something that you consider too difficult for yourself, meet new people, or even completely change your environment.

By going beyond the boundaries of the previous comfort zone of life, a person expands his capabilities and often comes across the most unexpected areas of application of his abilities. At first, going beyond the usual may cause self-doubt and temporary discomfort. But for many people, such a decision becomes an effective way to get to know themselves better and fully realize their personal potential.

Hope is what keeps your head up

When we think of hope, one name comes to mind: Anne Frank. This girl was in a completely hopeless situation. She had so much hope that her words would bring tears to her eyes.

“It's really surprising that I haven't given up on all my ideals because they seem so absurd and impossible. But I keep them because, despite everything, I still believe that people are truly good deep down.”

This is just one of the heartbreaking thoughts she wrote in her diary.

Anna was not an idealist. She was fully aware of the suffering that surrounded her, but she decided to look on the bright side. She still hoped that this world could become a better place, and she was right.

Sometimes life gets hard. Don't take this as a punishment; take this as a wake-up call. With enough hope and light in you, you will be closer to finding your place in life.

If you don’t want anything, everything irritates you and you don’t have enough strength.

Achieving the goal of determining one’s place in life becomes even more difficult due to the negative psychological and emotional states in which such a person may be:

- apathy, when there is a feeling that everything is indifferent, you don’t want anything; — loss of strength, when there is not enough energy for almost anything, you constantly want to sleep or, on the contrary, suffer from insomnia; - irritability, alienation, hostility towards what is happening, surrounding people, noise, streams of meaningless information, etc.; - depression, when inside there is one continuous clot of mental pain.

Each of us has desires and properties for their implementation. A person realizes his potential to achieve aspirations, thereby comprehending his existence, gaining the feeling that he is walking through life on the right path.

If we fail to use our qualities to fulfill these desires, we experience constant shortages and suffering, which affect our condition in a negative way. It is also important to be able to understand whether a person strives to occupy his place in life or follows other people’s ideals, acts to please loved ones or with an eye on fashion trends.

For example, if an emotional person is not able to direct his sensuality into empathy or into the creative process, then his unspent emotions may result in hysterics or fears. Or a person who gravitates towards the accumulation and transfer of experience, in the absence of such an opportunity, begins to teach, criticize everything, and find fault.

So it is for a person looking for the meaning of life and his place in it. Without fulfilling the desire for knowledge, discovery, and comprehension, he falls into negative states. Not finding meaning, he comes to the conclusion: everything is meaningless. Without achieving success in understanding the Universe and man, he begins to move away from the world around him, from society; people with their stupid conversations, bustle and hubbub begin to irritate and are perceived as a nuisance.

Or desires that are unattainable over and over again begin to fade away so that it doesn’t hurt so much - complete apathy arises. And when the situation becomes more and more aggravated, a person may experience depressive states: here life itself is no longer sweet, it makes no difference what place you take in it - it would all be over as soon as possible.

In this case, no matter what a person does, the process will not give him pleasure, the result will not seem satisfactory and there will be no feeling that you are in the right place.

There is only one way out: learn to understand ourselves, realize the desires that drive us, our talents that need implementation, and make some efforts to move in the chosen direction. Nothing comes without effort; only naive people believe that things can be different. But when both the process and the results bring joy, it is a fantastic motivation for action.

What can a truth-hungry intellectual find himself in?

Such people can successfully do a wide variety of things. But be that as it may, their activity is associated with knowledge, new ideas, and concentration.

This includes the study of the laws of the universe through physics, mathematics, chemistry and other sciences. And the search for new meanings through writing, poetry, journalism. This includes programming and IT technologies. Engineering, design and research work. Composing or performing music, new trends in art. Psychology as an attempt to unravel the secrets of the human soul. Surgery, teaching, social change and much more.

The field for implementation is vast. In every field, such a person is able to bring something new, worthwhile, taking the issue being studied to a new level. And it is not even necessary that this be the main profession.

However, if previously these things were enough to fill the inner desires of a person thirsting for knowledge, now they are no longer enough. A person evolves, the volume of his psyche grows, and the volume of his desires also increases. The goal is not just to study inanimate nature, but to understand one’s Self. And this cannot be done by abstracting from other people.

By focusing only on yourself, doing soul-searching in isolation from the world around you, you cannot comprehend the structure of the human psyche. We are a single species, our unconscious is common, collective. We are able to perfectly complement each other if we understand the principle by which this happens.

How to find your place in life - the question is precisely about this, about the role of a person in society, about the position of a small differentiated particle among something incommensurably, infinitely greater. Anyone who has managed to understand and realize this will no longer be lost on the sidelines of the universe. He will become clear about what his purpose is and in what direction he should move in life.

“...And the most important thing for me is that I stopped asking stupid sound questions that constantly confused me and did not allow me to live in peace. I understood a lot: I understood who I want to be, what I want to do. It’s as if a clear answer arises in my head for every question. I no longer need to spend nights thinking about making the right decision. Everything comes together in your head according to a clear logical chain...
...And in conclusion, I would like to note that at this stage of my life I FOUND MYSELF. And now I don’t doubt my abilities, because self-confidence is also on my side...”
Alena S., vocal and guitar teacher, Ufa

Author Ekaterina Zhavoronkova Proofreader Alla Antipina

The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”

Tips for action: how to find your place in life

The examples above can help us find and engage with our place in life. Here are some helpful tips that will lead you to your personal calling:

1. Believe in yourself! The famous people mentioned above had one thing in common: belief in their own ability.

They knew they were special, and they realized they shouldn't go through life without leaving a mark. Faith is one of the most important factors of self-realization.

If you doubt your abilities, remind yourself of every talent you have.

2. Always hope for the best Hope is a characteristic of the brave. When your heart has the courage to hope for a brighter future, you will find the strength to clear away the clutter and work toward improvement. Through this journey, you will inevitably find a mission that you are meant to fulfill.

3. Find motivation in everything around you Anne Frank found motivation in the smallest acts of kindness. She endured suffering that we can't even imagine, but she still saw the beauty of this world.

When you feel low and unmotivated, open your eyes and look at the stars. The grandeur of this Universe is enough to inspire you to find your special place in it.

4. Never forget about your inner strength You are the main character in the story of your life. You have valuable powers and you need to be aware of them. Clint Eastwood has an important strength: tenacity. This set him on a path to fame.

5. Find a hobby Do you feel bored every day? Boredom is a vice.

It will stun you and sooner or later you will start enjoying it. Instead of blaming yourself for spending another day lying on the couch, you should do something to get out of this state. Do you know what the best solution is to get rid of boredom? Hobby!

What does it mean to be in the right place?

To the question of what “your place in life” is, you can give several answers.
For some, being in the right place means having a successful career or being successful in a professional sense. For another person, it is enough to find a hobby to his liking, which will allow him to fully realize his inner creative potential. Still others consider themselves in their place when they are surrounded by like-minded people. Regardless of the individual meaning of this concept, finding your place means being in your comfort zone. In such an environment, a person feels confident, has no doubts and does not waste time searching for his destiny. Being in his place, a person experiences satisfaction, peace and tranquility. Even inevitable minor troubles, which are difficult to live without in life, are not able to bring such a person out of a state of mental balance.

Where to begin

Work is an integral part of your life, so it is with its choice that you should begin your search for yourself. The following ideas and tips will help you understand whether any profession is suitable for you or not.

How to find yourself in the profession - only effective ideas:

Your dreams are yours alone! If you are faced with a difficult choice of profession, do not rush to make any decision. Think carefully about what you like or would like to do. Take a pen and paper and write down all your thoughts there. Don’t give up even the craziest ideas, because now there are many incredible professions from furniture testers to ant breeders.

Listen to yourself

When thinking about the future, it is very important to be able to listen to yourself, your dreams and desires. Stay true to yourself, even if completely different professions are popular now

If you love your job and strive for self-development, you will definitely become a professional, which means you will be able to have something you love and earn good money.

There is no such thing as too much information. In order to understand whether you will like this or that activity, try to find out everything about it. Such information will help you imagine the range of responsibilities that you will have to perform and much more.

Analyze your abilities. When choosing a profession, try to focus on your own abilities and skills. For example, you have a penchant for learning foreign languages. Then you can safely choose a specialty: foreign language teacher, translator, linguist, etc. At the same time, it is important to understand that if you really like the profession, but do not have inclinations for it, you can develop them yourself.

The more questions, the better! Tell your friends and parents about the professions you like. Ask their opinion about difficult choices and honestly answer the following questions: “Will I be able to do this?”, “Will I be happy with this kind of work?”, “Can I handle it?” Such a discussion will help you better know not only your chosen professions, but also yourself.

If you don’t want the phrase “I can’t find myself…” to escape your lips in the future, now make every effort to determine a suitable occupation and life guidelines for yourself.

Is it possible to find your calling in life with the help of tests? There are many different psychological tests that help determine your propensity for a particular activity. Most often, they are presented in the form of questions, answering which you will understand everything yourself.

A test that will help you find yourself in this life. Answer yourself these six questions:

Do you feel interested in anything?
Do you have a desire to do anything?
Do you enjoy your chosen occupation?
Are there positive results from your activities?
Do you have a thirst for progress, a need for self-development?
Do you have any authorities?

If you can answer “yes” to more than five questions, your chosen profession is right for you. The point of such tests is for you to pay attention to the criteria (in this case, questions) by which you can determine whether you would be happy with such a job or not. If you don’t understand how to find yourself in life, the test, unfortunately, is unlikely to help you, because the problem you are interested in is much larger

If you don’t understand how to find yourself in life, the test, unfortunately, is unlikely to help you, because the problem that interests you is much larger.

Find the right time

Usually the daily bustle does not leave time to think about the meaning of life.
But in case of failure or during a difficult period, such thoughts just creep into your head. If so, don't drive them away. When you made a mistake, quarreled with a loved one, or were unable to complete the task, instead of once again thinking about how unlucky you were, try to find the reason. Your bad mood may well be beneficial if it helps you understand yourself. Understanding why everything turned out this way is important not only in order to survive and let go of the situation. This will also help you avoid repeating these mistakes in the future.

Not only in periods of despondency, but also at a certain age, we tend to delve deeper into self-examination. Teenagers have raging hormones. At twenty or twenty-five years old you don’t want to grow up. Thirty-year-olds tend to worry that they haven't achieved anything yet. After thirty-five, that midlife crisis begins. In more mature years, they realize that life has not turned out the way they wanted in their youth, and so on. You may have countless such crises throughout your life. And each of them is a reason to ask yourself: “Am I doing everything right? What do I need to change right now so that I don’t regret the years I’ve lived?”

How to find the purpose of life?

Purpose in life - this concept frightens many of us with its significance and unattainability. Other people simply never thought about the problem of finding the meaning of life. Usually these are infantile individuals for whom everything has already been decided, and this completely suits them - in this case, there is no need to search for a goal and purpose in life.

The situation can change dramatically if a sharp change occurs in a person’s life - a significant part of it, its support, collapses. In such a state, it is very easy to lose the meaning of life, but persistent pursuit of something allows a person to see beyond the current situation.

IMPORTANT: During successful periods, your own goal helps you set your priorities correctly and adds strength to move forward, and during periods of life crises, it helps you not to give in to despair and look for opportunities to overcome difficulties.

Finding the purpose of life is a very difficult task. Your goal should be undoubtedly important, necessary and achievable, and also meet your life preferences.

The purpose of life means that most of your life's journey to achieve it should be related to your purpose and be a conscious choice. You cannot set a goal for yourself under the influence of society, fashionable hobbies or a sense of duty. The only criterion for the correctness of the choice is your own state of happiness from the goal itself and the means to achieve it.
To find a purpose in life, people attend psychological trainings, practice meditation, and go to temple. But no one can tell you what you really need. You need to start finding a purpose in life by getting to know yourself.

First of all, you need to understand what you really like - don’t be afraid to express your desires and interests, even if they seem inappropriate to someone.

Start with those hobbies that were inherent in you in childhood and adolescence, because then you could do what you loved without thinking about the social or material component.
Once you remember your childhood interests, write them down. Now see if you can try these activities now. Try to return to the state of a child - to immerse yourself in your favorite activity with all tenacity.
Now write down the activities that you are currently doing with pleasure. These should not be work-related activities. Also, do not try to include in the list those activities that society considers useful and worthy if you do not personally like them. Do not generalize, trying to express the work of your whole life in one point. Successful and happy people have from 7 to 15 sustainable interests in different areas.
Once you have made the list, try to analyze it yourself and understand what field of activity would be suitable for a person with such interests to help him realize his full potential.

Striving for your goal is the meaning of life

Write down your wishes

In the same diary or just on a piece of paper, list all the dreams that you have had since childhood.
Write everything you ever wanted but didn’t realize, even the most ridiculous ones. Cross out what is no longer relevant. Divide the remaining ones into categories: work, relationships, hobbies, education, etc. Imagine that all these wishes have come true. Visualize how you will behave, how you will feel, what kind of person you will become. Let your feelings tell you whether these dreams and goals are really yours and whether they are worth achieving. Leave only those that evoke sincere positive emotions in you. Add or rewrite the list if necessary. Use it as a guide to action. Start by doing something as simple and emotionally pleasing as possible. For example, buy a toy that you dreamed of as a child. This will give you a powerful positive impetus to realize more complex desires.