Why is a person withdrawn into himself? Signs of psychological isolation.

Introspection

Closedness does not mean lack of self-confidence. In the first case, a person is not drawn to communicate with the team. A shy person wants to communicate, but does not start a dialogue for fear of looking funny or stupid.

You need to understand what causes indecision:

• Introversion. A person does not strive to completely close himself off from society, but maintains limited time with his interlocutor. Such individuals are comfortable alone.
• Shyness. Dialogue is hampered by embarrassment caused by real or perceived shortcomings. Thus, a person feels awkward due to speech impediments, physical abnormalities, or confidence in ignorance of the issue being discussed.
• Anxiety disorders. They develop due to psychological trauma and congenital abnormalities, the first signs of which could be timidity, aggression, isolation and inadequate emotional reactions, such as laughter at a funeral.

A person cannot cope with cases from the last group on his own. The participation of specialists who prescribe psychological exercises and medications is necessary. Situations that do not lead to pathological changes in the psyche are subject to self-medication. A person needs to liberate himself by analyzing behavior.

Reasons for shyness

Unfortunately, you won’t be able to loosen up and stop being shy at the snap of your fingers. Imagine how easy it would be to wave your hand and turn into a confident person! But then there would be no need for my profession as a psychologist, but maybe that’s for the better...

What are the reasons for constant shyness and self-doubt?

A little man is born and he does not complain about uncertainty or shyness. Remember little children - they interfere where they are not asked, they say that sometimes it is not necessary, they do the incomprehensible. But this does not bother them in any way. So what happens in the process of life and growing up?

1. Parental “boistering” and constant complaints about the child in early childhood. This really really destroys a child’s flexible psyche, self-perception is disrupted, and then such an adult is constantly embarrassed and suffers from self-doubt.
2. Mom and dad are emotionally distant from the child. This leaves an imprint on his life. He constantly wants to win love, tries to please everyone, and this is the right road to betrayal and disappointment. And such experiences lead to uncertainty and embarrassment.
3. Heredity. If a child is raised in a family with an insecure mother and father, he does not see any other example of behavior.
4. Shyness occurs with low emotional intelligence in sensitive individuals. If a person does not know how to express how he feels, does not know what emotions he is experiencing, and does not know how to restrain them, he will either be aggressive and arrogant, or shy and insecure.
5. No communication with children at an early age. In other words, such a person does not know how to communicate with people, so he is embarrassed when everyone pays attention to him.

In principle, any person can be shy and insecure when it comes to sincere feelings. After all, we all want to be accepted and understood - this is one of the basic human needs. If you are a young girl and there is a guy at school that you like, but he doesn’t know about it, embarrassment cannot be avoided. And if you’re the only one in a group who doesn’t have an Instagram account, then uncertainty creeps in unnoticed.

But this is situational shyness and uncertainty that can be overcome. It’s worth practicing communication, doing something extraordinary, for example, unexpectedly starting to dance in front of people, and all shyness will disappear. It is much worse if a person believes that he is a failure, that he will not succeed, will not achieve what he wants and will not live up to the expectations of his parents.

In this case, simply experience will not help; raising self-esteem and self-confidence will take a long time and hard work.

Trapped girl

Get rid of egocentrism

Focusing on your own feelings interferes with interaction with others. The problem is often relevant during puberty. A teenager may become withdrawn due to stress associated with internal (body changes) and external (conflicts with peers or relatives) factors. At this age, the participation of a psychologist is usually required.

Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .

The specialist will choose the right tactics to deal with the teenager’s isolation—he will find the right words to explain the significance of the patient’s emotions. Adults also need such help, although they more often realize the situation on their own, although they are unable to overcome it.

There is an exit

To combat self-isolation, many psychologists recommend using cognitive behavioral therapy. It is important to evaluate not what is happening around you, but your reaction to it.

Sometimes bad thoughts are poorly understood, and sometimes they are denied.

During therapy, you need to track all your negative emotions and try to replace them with positive ones in the future.
Based on this, it is necessary to develop new standards of behavior and, in accordance with them, begin to act. In addition, we must remember that thought is material. If you think that you are boring and boring, people will see you as boring. If you think that you are an interesting conversationalist, others will also notice a similar quality in you.

On the other hand, you can try to pull yourself together. Write down in descending order what scares you the most. Next, start facing your fears head on, moving from less significant to more powerful.

Also learn to accept yourself for who you are, attend group trainings to increase self-esteem, think only about good things, smile more often. Still, the presence of problems in the past does not mean that this will always be the case.

If you cannot cope on your own, you should make an appointment with a psychologist. However, treatment most often involves only therapy without prescribing medications.

If isolation prevents you from living an interesting life, going to parties and having fun, meeting new people, it’s time to get rid of it. This is difficult to do, but possible. Only those who can overcome problems and overcome their fears can be successful. It's time to go out into people! But what's the best way to do this? How to prepare yourself?

Don't be afraid of mistakes

The wrong medicine will lead to the death of the patient, a typo in the calculations will provoke an explosion or collapse of the structure. People expect similar troubles from their missteps or attempts to engage in dialogue. In reality, your interlocutors may not notice the mistake.

You should get rid of the fear of failure. Mistakes do not ruin your life. The shame will be forgotten if the culprit does not focus on the event and subsequent comments.

Emotional background

The experiences of closed people are unique and sometimes seem paradoxical to others. On the one hand, introverts are distinguished by restraint and coldness, on the other hand, they are vulnerable and emotional. Schizoids show an acute reaction to everything that affects their own values. Often this is a spiritual response to injustice, rudeness, disorder.

Currently, the so-called emotional intelligence is being actively discussed. One of its signs is understanding the feelings and moods of others. This is a trait that many introverts cannot boast of. Closed people, of course, suspect that certain feelings are raging within you, but they must be informed about this. They rely on what is said, while not paying attention to intonation and facial expression.

Get out of your comfort zone

A closed person is comfortable alone. The obvious way to gradually get rid of shyness is to get out of comfortable conditions. Psychologists divide the process into several stages:

• Finding the optimal level of anxiety. Productive discomfort will force you to break habits without depriving a person of confidence. So, you can start working or doing a creative project without preparation. Finding your anxiety level is a difficult task. A person should be nervous, but not so nervous that they lose motivation.
• Movement beyond the perimeter. The basis of the technique is gradualism. A lover of European cuisine can try sushi, gradually moving on to Thai and other exotic dishes.
• Challenge yourself. By setting the goal of trying something new every week (the period is chosen according to character), a silent person accustoms himself to accepting changes in life.
• Spontaneous actions. They must not interfere with productivity or planned events. You can be bold by inviting your colleagues to change cafes for lunch. Refusal will help you overcome your fear of making mistakes.
• Preparing for social interaction. Knowing that you will have to be in plain sight, you should play out possible behavior scenarios in your head. This way he will feel more confident at the real event.

The purpose of the method is to shake up the brain and force it to abandon its usual schedule. But without compromising work and personal life.

What is closure?

It’s not without reason that we called isolation a disadvantage. The fact is that it gives a person a lot of problems. It is difficult for him to make contact with the world around him, which means he does not receive enough love, emotions, experience and many other components of life that an open person receives.

Closedness can be described as a certain fixation on certain things, events, patterns of behavior, thinking or perception of the world around us. Most often it occurs as a response to a certain event in life. Based on the negative experience gained, a person predicts the development of each subsequent event and does not even try to apply other behavioral options. This way the problem is not resolved.

Every day, a closed person moves more and more away from the outside world, losing any connections with his former environment. This changes his ability to communicate with other people, build business and friendships.

Become friendly

The advice is not a call for compulsive behavior. But a person is accustomed to a certain social interaction, which closed individuals forget about. Periodic communication with family and friends will allow you to find out how they are doing. When in company, you should open up - talk about your attitude towards the event, while being polite. Thus, if it is unnerving, the person reports that he had a good time, but must leave due to fatigue.

Expanding the circle of friends depends on the individual’s desire to get rid of some complexes.

You can start communicating more actively with colleagues or acquaintances, but you should not force yourself to get closer to others.

Communication

A closed person in a group generally stays aloof and prefers to remain silent. His contacts are usually limited to a small circle of friends and relatives. Such people are reluctant to talk about themselves, and you can often hear that information has to be literally “pulled out of them with pincers.”

It is not surprising that schizoid people have difficulty communicating. The secrecy is explained by the reluctance to share one’s own experiences. Introverts do not feel the need to contact the outside world, because they are quite comfortable alone with themselves. As one poet put it, they seek to “wrap themselves in the silk of their soul.” On the other hand, communication really poses a particular difficulty for them, since schizoids feel awkward and inept in the process of communication.

Kretschmer cited another vivid metaphor, where he compared a closed individual with a ciliate, cautiously approaching an unfamiliar object and observing it from behind half-lowered cilia, hesitantly extending its tentacles, and then immediately withdrawing them.

Despite the natural desire to isolate themselves, a shy person sometimes suffers from a lack of communication. This is especially common in childhood and adolescence.

Practice slow speech

An expressive person speaks up to 400 words per minute. The speech rate of closed individuals can also be high. But because of their quiet, indistinct voice, it is difficult to understand them.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

To treat isolation, practicing slow speech will help, as when preparing for reports:

• Equating conversation with music. The melody includes a certain rhythm, without which listeners will not perceive the composition. A metronome will help you fight fast speech.
• Pauses between sentences.
• Lack of acceleration in lists. The list is often spoken out faster than normal sentences. You need to take short breaks between points.
• Working on diction.

Slow, clear speech will show that the person is confident in what is being said and is not afraid to speak in public.

How to overcome isolation?

Start doing things that make you anxious and afraid. Think carefully and describe on a piece of paper all the situations that cause you discomfort and shyness. Then, every day, consciously find yourself in such situations, for example, try to meet a guy or girl, talk to a stranger on the street, give a compliment to your boss, etc.

Perform a new small feat every day. And over time, you will notice that these situations no longer frighten you.

Try to monitor your thoughts. After every unpleasant situation, you must write down all the feelings, sensations and emotions that you experienced at that moment. When you re-read them after some time, you will definitely understand the main reasons for your worries. After analyzing them, you can easily cope with anxiety in similar situations.

Sign up for psychological training. Experienced psychologists will teach you not to be afraid of communication and strangers. Typically, such classes are held in groups where you can meet and communicate with similarly introverted people.

A friendly atmosphere, a playful form, and the absence of negativity will help overcome stiffness and tightness. After such preparation, going out into public will not be so scary.

Learn to love yourself. Think only about good things. After every unpleasant situation, do not blame yourself, but try to figure out what provoked your behavior. Don't compare yourself to anyone, because you are an individual. Surely there are situations that you cope with easily and quickly, despite your isolation. A smile on your face is a sign of self-confidence. Smile more often, even when no one sees it. Just smile in the mirror to yourself, over time this skill will become established.

As soon as you start working hard on yourself and overcome your isolation, problems with communication will gradually begin to disappear, and soon you will be able to go out into people without much embarrassment. But this requires active action and great desire.

Video on the topic

True, before taking decisive action, it is necessary to delve deeper into the problem: to understand what isolation is, how it manifests itself and what can provoke it. Once you can clearly define all of this, the job of eliminating this deficiency will go much easier.

Smile more often

It's about natural expression. It is worth practicing in front of a mirror to see the muscles involved in a smile. The best way is to remember pleasant moments, such as playing with a child, funny behavior of a pet, or a small win in the lottery. Positive emotions will help overcome sadness and get rid of this obsessive feeling. With additional stimulation (career success, sports achievements, etc.), practice will help you smile without preparation.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

This is interesting! Two groups of people were shown photos of 45 smiling female models. The first group rated the attractiveness and intensity of each smile as neutral, not very intense, or very intense. The second assessed how trustworthy the woman was. The results confirmed the strong relationship between smiling and trust.

Don't compare yourself to others

Each person lives in a unique environment created by himself and external factors. The circumstances that lead to the success of one person will cause the failure of another. Understanding this difference is one way to relieve stress. A person should understand that failures in communication, even when trying to use the techniques of the interlocutors, should not be the reason for isolation. It is worth processing the information received and creating your own communication style.

Reasons for isolation

Among the most common reasons:

• Fear
• Resentment
• Uncertainty
• Arrogance

All of them are a consequence of specific negative situations that did not find a logical explanation and solution at the right time.

Fear breeds mistrust. A person withdraws into himself because he believes that this is the safest position. It is worth recognizing that this is a delusion, because such a person does not even need to be intentionally offended. Resentment towards everything and everyone is the logical result of constant detachment from the outside world.

Since it is difficult for a closed person to share his experiences with others, resentment accumulates in him without finding a natural outlet. It slowly destroys the soul and the worst result can be anger and a desire for revenge.

Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence prevent a person from making contact with others. He believes that he is not worthy of a good life, since he does not meet too high standards, most often far-fetched. In this case, closure becomes the simplest solution. Because it's easier than trying to achieve certain goals or revise your requirements.

Oddly enough, pride often becomes the cause of isolation. But this is more likely not a person’s personal choice, but a forced state. Because with his disrespect for the outside world and other people he drives himself into loneliness. As a result, they begin to bypass him and he has no other choice.

Visualize Success

The technique helps treat anxiety and increase self-esteem. For mental visualization, 5-10 minutes of daily work is enough.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

A person needs to imagine:

• A cinema where he is the only spectator watching his own successes on the screen. Details are presented: clothing, ambient sounds, facial expressions and indoor climate.
• Move to the movie. The viewer approaches the screen, opens the door, and becomes a participant in the plot. This deepens the perception of visualization.
• Return. After leaving the film, the person sits back in the chair. He then shrinks the screen to the size of a cracker and eats it so that all the cells absorb the success shown.

The method helps complex individuals calm down before important or everyday tasks.

Closedness of the cause

There are many of them and they are varied. Among the main reasons for isolation are the following:

• Unfavorable microclimate in the family (especially during childhood, when the child is very vulnerable)
• Psychological complexes
• Shyness, lack of self-confidence
• Hypersensitivity and vulnerability
• Social anxiety (fear of socializing)
• Lack of communication skills
• Distorted perception of the nature of relationships between people

A closed person is a conservative investor in a securities market full of risk and unpredictability. The fear of loss outweighs the anticipation of possible profit.

Work on your appearance

Compliance with modern or universal standards of beauty attracts others. But a person also needs to like himself. When working on your appearance, you should combine both concepts, choosing the primary problems. Protruding ears will be covered by a hairstyle, and it is better to treat acne before it becomes scarred.

People around you will see stretch marks on your skin only in the summer, while poorly cut suits spoil your look all year round.

Accept your fears

Fear is a normal reaction of the body, programmed by evolution. Fear helps creatures survive by preventing them from coming into contact with potentially dangerous phenomena. This principle must be accepted and used when analyzing reactions. By recognizing fears as normal, a person will more accurately determine the acceptability of his own behavior. Thus, he will understand that the fear of expressing his opinion to a colleague about the project is irrelevant - the action does not pose a threat to life. Therefore, this step can be taken.

It is also necessary to reconsider conditions bordering on phobias. Thus, a fear of heights that interferes with skydiving, in which the individual has no interest, does not require attention. If your condition prevents you from meeting friends in a restaurant with panoramic windows, you need the help of a specialist.

Psychotrainings

At seminars and courses, students are given concise information that helps them understand the need to rebuild their lives. Lecturers conduct group or individual consultations, forcing clients to interact with each other and change their routine.

The purpose of the events is to force participants to step out of their comfort zone.

If you've tried everything

Sometimes training and self-analysis do not bring results. In this case, a compromise will help - the Turbo-Gopher technique. The user is offered a course that does not require psychological education to master.

After studying the materials, a person will understand what stood in the way of a fulfilling life. This is a way to get rid of inhibitions, improve communication skills and enjoy interacting with people.

It will take about a year to learn the technique. Upon completion of the course, a person will re-evaluate life and realize his potential.

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Additional ways to get rid of shyness

Before you stop being shy in companies or when meeting new people, you need to understand that solving this problem depends entirely on the person himself.
It will take some time to become more open, relaxed, and sociable. For some, a few weeks are enough to achieve success, while for others it will take several years before all manifestations of the described negative qualities are completely eradicated. Now there are several effective ways to stop being shy and withdrawn, unsure of yourself. This list includes:

• personal training;
• development of communication skills;
• performing special exercises (“go ahead”).

The method of personal training has now gained enormous popularity, as it allows you to convince a person that he is no worse or better than other people he doesn’t know well.

Typically, specific guidelines are communicated in the form of a “teacher-student” approach, when an experienced mentor (psychologist) convinces withdrawn and insecure people that no one in the company is trying to ridicule, offend, or humiliate them.

Many of them also experience a certain amount of excitement, but in no way show their own negative feelings. Regular classes with a specialist who knows how to persuade help achieve results, and a person overcomes his fear of communication.

Sometimes it is recommended to develop communication skills by doing certain exercises. One of the most useful options for how to stop being shy in company is to simulate the situation in front of a mirror. It wouldn’t hurt to prepare a few universal jokes that will help defuse a tense situation or give you confidence in your abilities. The more a person “rehearses” alone with himself, the more confident and at ease he will feel in a real situation.

An innovative technique was to perform tasks that require considerable courage from an indecisive, shy person. For example, he should come up and talk to complete strangers on the street, ask for the phone number of an attractive girl (guy), or talk about some event in a public place. After 2-3 such exercises, progress is noticeable, as a person overcomes fear, becomes more open to the world around him, and gains self-confidence.