How to flirt with a girl by correspondence: tips and examples

What attracts girls to guys? There is probably no young person who has not asked this question at least once in his life. Most young men believe that their appearance is important. Therefore, they try to look as “cool” as possible.

However, in reality, what guys look like is secondary. Of course, facial features and figure should not cause disgust. But what attracts girls to guys is not their appearance, but their manner of communication. Young ladies should be interested in being around boys. If a girl enjoys talking to a young man, then she will go on a date with him with great pleasure.

It’s not for nothing that people have a saying that men love with their eyes, and women with their ears. Therefore, if a guy wants to be popular with girls or to conquer only one of them, he needs to learn how to flirt. This skill is useful not only in direct communication, but also in correspondence.

What you need to know about flirting?

A young man who is about to master the science of seduction should remember a couple of simple axioms:

there are no identical women in the world;
There are no universal flirting techniques.

In other words, there is no single template or set of rules that you need to follow when communicating with girls. What may interest one person may frustrate and repel another.

Accordingly, the main rule of flirting is attention to the girl. There are no unimportant little things, absolutely everything is important. A true master of flirting not only notices a woman’s reactions; at a certain stage of communication, he can easily predict them.

What to pay attention to when correspondence?

Of course, there are specifics to how to flirt with a girl by correspondence. After all, you can’t evaluate poses, gestures, facial expressions. What should you pay attention to?

The overwhelming majority of boys are confident that they should monitor the speed of the girl’s answers. There is a certain amount of truth in this belief, because if the interlocutor is interested in communication, then she answers almost instantly. However, in reality, the speed of answers is not an indicator of interest in either the conversation or the guy himself. A girl can answer quickly only because at the moment she is bored and has nothing to do. Long pauses between messages may indicate that the interlocutor is busy, and not that she does not like the topic of conversation or the young man himself.

So how can you flirt with a girl by correspondence if you shouldn’t pay much attention to the speed of her responses? What shows interest and what indicates indifference? You can understand how involved a girl is in communication by the manner of her answers and their design. The more a girl uses emoticons and stickers, the better. Of course, only if they complement the proposals and do not replace them.

You should also pay attention to how talkative the interlocutor is. There are not so many silent people in the world. If a girl answers rarely and in few words, or even gets away with visual effects, then it is urgent to change the style and topic of the conversation.

Let's start correspondence

Now that the preliminary preparation has been completed, let’s ask ourselves what to write to a girl when meeting on VKontakte. Examples that are replete with platitudes will not help you get your potential interlocutor to talk. Phrases like “Let’s get acquainted?”, “Hi, how are you?”, “Does your mother need a son-in-law?” should be classified as prohibited practices.

It often happens that a guy who is sincerely interested in a girl writes her an unobtrusive “How are you?”, and receives either silence or rudeness in response. This happens because online communication causes many people to become fed up with trivial phrases and questions.

However, you need to be careful with unusual messages. Be original, but still understandable. Here are some examples of starting a correspondence:

"Hooray! I found another person who loves old German cinema." Of course, this will only work if she has listed old German cinema on her list of interests.
If she has photos with a pet: “A friend of mine had one. I heard they are quite aggressive."
If she has a photo next to a landmark: “I was also in Sochi, only in winter. How are the crowds there in the summer, I guess?”
If she has interests in sports that are close to yours, ask her about her experience.
If a girl published an interesting quote from a famous work on her page, write that you also read this book (if you actually read it or at least know the plot firsthand).

As you can see from the examples, the easiest way is to start communicating right away on specific topics - this way the correspondence will look relaxed and friendly. Phrases like “Tell me about yourself”, “What do you do?”, “What are your hobbies?” they are perplexed and reduce the desire to correspond to zero.

If you decide to start communicating with a girl with a compliment, it is very important not to go too far. Vulgar compliments like “You are so beautiful that I want to undress you” or “I want to meet you this very night” are unlikely to achieve any effect. And messages like “You are beautiful” or “You have a sweet smile” will not surprise anyone.

Beautiful girls are so spoiled by compliments that they have long lost their taste for them. An assessment of her tastes or intellectual qualities will cause greater confidence. For example: “I've seen most of your favorite movies and I have to say that you have great taste! We need to see the rest. What do you recommend first?”

There is one more rule, which, however, only applies to the first message: the longer it is, the greater the likelihood of a response. Long letters are where your personality shines most. If you write sincerely and comprehensively, your potential interlocutor will definitely appreciate your interest, and perhaps respond with an equally meaningful letter that will reveal her character.

Here's an example of a long first message:

“You know, I dreamed about you today. Yesterday I accidentally came across your page and got stuck on it. I looked at your photos and couldn’t understand: why do they attract me so much? Of course you are very beautiful. But there's something more about you. It's like I've known you for a thousand years. What is inexplicable in a look, in a smile.
So, I dreamed about you. It’s as if you and I are in the mountains looking for some cave with some treasures. Something threatened us, I don’t remember what, but we were together and there was no fear. An amazing, colorful dream, I would love to let you watch it like a movie. Maybe someday they will invent a device that will record our dreams?
What did you dream about today? By any chance, is it me?

The likelihood that a woman will respond to such a message is very high. It has originality and romance, and most importantly, it really stands out from others, bringing out your creativity and individuality. However, after the first such message, it is necessary to start a dynamic correspondence online so that your communication does not turn into an epistolary novel. Unless, of course, you need a real meeting, and not an exchange of poems.

How should you communicate? Is it worth talking about yourself?

There is no single template for how to properly flirt with a girl in correspondence. You need to be sensitive to your interlocutor, be attentive and focus solely on her reactions. Flirting by correspondence is like sailing a sailboat. That is, the young man’s task is to set the sails in the direction of the wind, and not against it.

Should you tell your interlocutor about yourself? In how to flirt with a girl by correspondence, the same stereotypes and psychological techniques apply as in live communication. This means that the interlocutor should speak, and the young man should listen and “encourage” him to continue the conversation, noticing in time the girl’s fading interest. The specificity of correspondence is that there are usually no particularly long monologues in it. As a rule, people exchange short messages, meaning nothing, playful phrases. Accordingly, there should be at least twice as many phrases from a girl in the chat as from a boy.

Accordingly, lengthy stories about yourself are not appropriate. Of course, if a girl is interested in something, then she should answer; there is no need to make a “mystery” out of your person. However, we must not lose leadership in the dialogue. Although flirting implies reciprocity, the man has the “main role” in it. It is he who is the seducer, and not his interlocutor.

How to learn to flirt?

Coquetry and flirting are an entertaining process and a way of meeting people. But you need to be able to present yourself correctly so that your opponent understands that you are interested in him and responds.

Important! Many women have been using coquetry for hundreds of years. This is usually a powerful weapon that bitches use against men. With the help of it, they attract their attention and attract them into their networks.

You don't have to be a bitch to learn how to flirt. The main thing is to follow the recommendations:

Be natural. There is no need to endlessly chat and lisp.
You should not do actions that do not match your appearance.
flirt with the person you choose.
The look should be playful and enticing. With the help of the eyes you can express feelings - passion, interest, desire. Smile more often and make non-verbal hints, you can flirt beautifully with your eyes.
Self confidence.
Keep the image mysterious.

These are just tips to help you flirt with men correctly. Of course, a lot depends on your character, your own character and desires.

You can love a person very much, stay awake at night and think about him, and not take action. It is important to overcome fear and pay attention first.

All this will allow you not to miss your person and start a further love relationship with him.

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What should you never do? Example of unsuccessful flirting

Although there is nothing complicated about how to flirt over text, many guys make a number of mistakes at first. The most common of them is exaggeration of one’s own capabilities, income and merits. Not everyone can avoid the temptation to embellish reality. And a lie does not always remain without consequences.

An example would be the following situation. The young man lied about having a car. He communicates with a girl living in the same city. And one day the following dialogue occurs between them:

J: Where are you now?

M: I’m having lunch at McD’s. I'll finish and go for a ride.

J: Yes? I'm at McD's too. Where's your car, dude?

The guy, of course, felt very ashamed, and he stopped communicating with the girl. At the same time, it remained unknown whether his interlocutor asked him where the car was parked or simply quoted a phrase from a cult American film.

Accordingly, what you should never do when flirting by correspondence is to embellish reality. Although the temptation to appear cool and rich is very great, the consequences of such lies cannot be avoided.

Rules for flirting by correspondence. How to learn to flirt correctly?

That is, most of the time you remain in your frame and communicate with the girl like a boss with a subordinate. Sometimes you can consciously give her the opportunity to take the initiative, but it is important not to bend under her and not try in every possible way to please. Unfortunately, this is precisely the mistake that most men make in correspondence and therefore, in the end, everything slides into ordinary boring communication.

You can and should tease girls! For example, use diminutive or affectionate names: baby, eyelash, silly, confused, freckle, curl, button, and so on. I do not recommend using the following titles: pussy, malaya, malaya, chick, bitch and the like. Because this is no longer virtual flirting, but a pickup truck. The latter can only attract girls with a greatly reduced social status and difficult life circumstances.

In no case do you need to make excuses or explain yourself - this way you will no longer be able to maintain easy correspondence. For example, she asks you what you are doing. What do a lot of guys do? They will go over all the ways to interest you in their head and end up sending a banal answer. But you can do it differently: send the girl a photo of you and your friends relaxing or doing something interesting. She will figure out the rest herself and will only begin to warm herself up.

What attracts girls in communication?

How to learn to flirt with a girl by correspondence? What to talk to her about? When to write messages? Should I use emoticons? What topics to choose to start a dialogue? These and many other questions concern almost all young men who spend most of their time at the computer. In fact, the ability to flirt with a girl by correspondence is not much different from that which allows you to build live communication with the fair sex.

The conversation should not be stressful, cause discomfort or psychological inconvenience. Therefore, serious or specific topics should be avoided. Of course, communication should bring positive emotions.

Girls like guys who sensitively capture the mood of their interlocutors, who can both make them laugh and show sympathy and tact. Of course, we shouldn’t forget about compliments.

Accordingly, girls are attracted to communication by the presence of understanding on the part of the guy or the illusion of this. That is, in order to make a girl like you, you need to joke, be interested in her mood, tell funny news and, in general, bring positivity and variety into her life. But at the same time, you need to be sensitive to her worries and sorrows, be able to sympathize and console.

The most common mistakes when flirting with a girl

Most guys would just start asking her boring, everyday things, but it would be much more effective to tease the girl and make her make excuses. In this way, you attract a girl to an alternative reality, where everything works according to your laws. Unfortunately, social norms work against us, so when flirting, to one degree or another, it is necessary to cross them. A trivial example: everyone wants to please her, but you break the mold and communicate outside the box.

The main essence of flirting is to evoke a whole range of different emotions. But if you joke all the time, it will probably scare off your target. Therefore, it is important to sometimes answer normally and usually to show depth and adequacy. As they say, everything is good in moderation. However, for training at first, to find the edge, use the scientific method.

Let's return to the photographs. The girl sends a photo in her home clothes on the bed and says that she is going to leave the house. To which we ask her: in pajamas? That is, it is important to think as non-standardly as possible and detached from logic. By the way, the latter greatly interferes with proper flirting, because girls live and feed on emotions. You can only rationally convey something to her when she is strongly disposed and trusts you. In other cases it is unlikely.

What should we not forget?

Flirting in correspondence with a girl saves a young man from many of the hassles that courtship requires in everyday life. For example, he does not have to spend money on bouquets of flowers, cinema tickets, or visits to cafes.

However, the lack of real communication does not mean that you should forget about gallantry. You need to start your daily correspondence with a girl you already know in absentia not with the banal expression “Hello, how are you?”, but with a wish for good morning, a bouquet of flowers and a cup of coffee. Of course, the bouquet and coffee are emoticons or pictures found on the Internet. After this message, there is no need to immerse yourself in correspondence; you should mind your own business. A girl whose morning begins with flowers and a cup of coffee “in bed,” even if it’s fake, will look forward to the evening and will happily begin to communicate with a young man on any topic.

How to meet a girl and start chatting with her?

There are a lot of different services in the virtual space that specialize in “organizing dating.” If a boy wants to attract the attention of a girl on one of these sites, then no tricks are needed for this. It’s enough just to turn to the woman you like, say hello and ask her about something. A conversation will definitely start.

But how to start flirting with a girl by correspondence outside of dating sites, for example, on social networks? First, you should study her interests and start visiting the pages of the groups that she views. You need to put it in the same place where the girl does it. As soon as she leaves a comment under any post, it should be supported and developed. In this way, the acquaintance will begin “by chance” and will logically turn into private correspondence.

The main convenience of this method is that you do not need to come up with “original” phrases and topics. Correspondence will begin completely naturally and will not require any effort.

How to flirt with a girl when you meet: step-by-step instructions

Now I want to present to all the guys a cheat sheet that should always be at hand! If you meet a girl you really like, follow the instructions below. She will help you not to screw up and leave a good impression.

How to behave with a girl: 10 rules + 7 tips for men

Step	Description
Step #1. Make eye contact with the girl	Look at her more often, try to make sure that your views constantly intersect. This will let her know that you are interested in her. And you can already track how often she herself looks in your direction.
Step #2. Find a reason to get closer to her	She will feel that you are eager to communicate with her, and perhaps she will even be the first to talk to you. And when this happens, look into her eyes while communicating and smile. Absolute positivity must come from you. Girls like it when people try to cheer them up.
Step #3. Act confident	If you are constrained, the girl will never pay attention to you. But you don’t need to be very annoying either. Just make it clear with distant hints that you really liked the lady.
Step #4: Compliment her every time you talk to her.	It can be anything. For example: “Your makeup is very beautiful today,” “This hairstyle suits you very well,” “You have a nice smile.” Don’t make vulgar remarks about a sexy figure, because this will create the impression of a frivolous ladies’ man.
Step #5. While communicating with her, find out how she lives, what her family is like	Just don't turn a pleasant conversation into an interrogation. Between her answers, tell her something about yourself. This way you will have a very meaningful dialogue. So that no one gets bored, dilute it with vulgar jokes and funny questions. Conquer the lady with your sense of humor! Girls really like funny guys.
Step #6. Give her pleasant surprises	It could be a cup of coffee, a delicious dessert, a romantic note, a bouquet of flowers. Here I am no longer your advisor, follow the call of your feelings and habits. Surely, in your arsenal there is a whole bag of techniques that will help you win women's hearts.

As soon as you feel that you already have a common language and a strong emotional connection, proceed to more decisive actions - kisses, hand-in-hand walks and hugs.

What can ruin a successful flirtation?

It often happens that the correspondence that follows a successful acquaintance gradually fades away. People start leaving messages less often, and then stop communicating altogether. Why is this happening?

Flirting is easy and fun communication that implies mutual interest of the parties. His “worst enemies” are boredom, lack of sincerity, and artificial phrases. This should not be forgotten when considering options for what to talk to a girl about and how to do it.