Often at some event or in a company there is a person whose charm is so strong that it is impossible to resist. He may not be the best dressed, he may have the least money in his pocket, but he simply becomes the center of everyone's attention at the moment. People call it charisma; there are many different opinions and many speculations about this human quality.
Someone believes that charisma is the grace of God, that is, exceptional talent from nature, from birth. Others are of the opinion that as a result of working on oneself, a person can become a charismatic person.
The desire for new qualities is inherent not only in the fair sex. Any man would also like to have charisma in order to be attractive to women, to achieve success in his career and, ultimately, to be happy in his personal life.
This word has been known since Ancient Greece. Charisma - attracting attention . Skeptics argue that it cannot be developed, it can only be imitated. But you need to try. And you need to start with the most famous and important human qualities, which together will lead to the desired result.
What will interfere with charisma?
Charisma will never tolerate the following qualities in a man:
- Pessimism, tediousness, negative emotions.
- If you yourself are guilty of something, you should never look for the guilty among others, you must be responsible for your actions.
- Under no circumstances should you express superiority over other people.
- Don't get annoyed if something doesn't go as planned.
- There is no need to criticize people.
- You should not give advice to others if they have not asked for it and do not need it.
An important quality is self-confidence.
Not a single man with self-confidence has ever been left out of society. It is very important when a person is confident in his exclusivity. There is no need to rush around, argue, reproach yourself for something, or constantly seek advice from others.
A man must convince himself and believe that he is an extraordinary person, that all his actions are correct, attractive and talented. This is not selfishness, this is precisely confidence. Such a person should radiate health, positive emotions and optimism. Therefore, no bad mood, best friends are sports, yoga, auto training. A man can correct his image, love him and assure others that being around him is a pleasure.
How is male charisma different from female charisma?
Charisma as a character trait is associated with gender. The male version of charisma is endowed with masculinity. It is strength that attracts a woman who is weak by nature. Girls fall in love with strong, confident, brave, leading guys.
Not only men, but also women can be charismatic. The female embodiment of charisma is associated, first of all, not with strength, but with positivity and charm.
Interesting. Unlike women, men don't always want to date a charismatic woman. A guy always admires a charming girl, but this emotion in men does not equate to romanticism. Most likely, he will choose a simple girl for a relationship because he wants to show his masculinity in a relationship. A charismatic woman is self-sufficient; a strong man next to her will feel superfluous.
Charisma attracts
Be a great conversationalist
The ability to listen is one of the main qualities of a charismatic person. When another person is speaking, you should never interrupt him, he should finish his thought to the end and feel comfortable in communication. You need to show your interest in your interlocutor, ask him questions about himself, about his hobbies. Don't overload with your information. It is advisable to touch upon in conversations only topics on which the opinion with the interlocutor coincides, then the dialogue will be positive. We must remember that having an interesting conversation is good, but listening is the highest art.
You need to compliment people sincerely and freely, and in no case flatter, but rather confirm their best qualities. You should also accept good reviews addressed to you graciously.
A man must learn to speak on completely different topics, with any people . You should always be on an equal footing with your interlocutor. When talking to a sponsor or employer, do not assume that they are superior. If you are talking with new acquaintances, you should never show your superiority over them, no matter who they are.
You need to develop eloquence, train the skill of a speaker, learn to speak convincingly, accessiblely and beautifully. Often charisma depends on the voice.
Charisma Development
If you want to become stronger, you can join a gym. If you want to learn how to program, you can take a special course. But how can one gain the confidence of charisma? Is it possible to purposefully develop charisma? Here are some tips that can help you in different social situations and at the same time help you discover the meaning of the word charisma.
The first advice for those who quickly get lost in a conversation and cannot find what to say is to speak publicly, for example, in a stand-up club. First of all, it's worth doing it because it's scary. Speaking in front of an audience and trying to make them laugh is intimidating. And also because with such a performance you simply have nowhere to go, you are on stage, the audience falls silent, and you have to act! This is not an isolated case; all conversations require activity and resourcefulness. For example, if someone approaches you with a threat, you need to respond and continue the conversation, even if your state is close to stupor. Try performing on stage if you have a similar problem. This advice is important because anything that pushes you out of your comfort zone helps in social situations later.
The second tip for those who have problems with public speaking is to visit a public speaking club. After all, if you need to speak in public, then the stakes are very high, as when a promotion is at stake, or a witness’s speech at a wedding. This is always scary in a real situation, but in public speaking training everyone learns, so not only will they not stop listening to you, but they will also subsequently give valuable feedback that you will not receive in a real speech in front of an audience, and again you will worry. In the public speaking club, everything is different, there is a training program, trained specialists who will set you up for a speech, and will even count how many times filler words were used in your speech. Thanks to such a detailed analysis, you will be able to train your skills.
The next tip is a little different from the previous ones. It is appropriate for cases when a conflict situation is brewing. It doesn’t have to be an outright fight, but someone suddenly starts behaving aggressively, your heart starts beating faster, you can’t decide how to react. This advice is to study martial arts. There is no need to start a fight, we are talking about mastering the experience that you will get in sparring.
This experience will teach you how to breathe smoothly and come up with a plan for what to do in stressful social situations, rather than following the natural fight-or-flight response, which is accompanied by an increased heart rate and breathing, making you unstable. This method of remaining calm will help you in many conflict situations, even in non-obvious ones - when you want to ask for a raise or promotion, speak in public, or win over a group of friends.
The fourth tip is to use any social environment, be it a bar, club or event, to test the impression you make on others. After all, it’s no longer so important to be able to impress your friends, and if you tell a boring story, they’re unlikely to look for an excuse to leave. But in a bar or at an event, if you start telling a boring story, then people will try to run away from communication, pick up the phone or leave, even finding a good reason. And this way you will probably have feedback about which story is interesting and which is boring.
If you do this kind of testing, you will learn which option makes a better impression, you will begin to notice that people, for example, are more engaged when you talk about music or about your work. And choose the right course of action to better connect with people. Be a researcher, and after the event, turn around different conversations in your mind and analyze, this will allow you to find those facts about you that are really fascinating. Over time, you will notice that you have become more interesting to people, it will become easier for you to communicate.
Another tip is to replace “I” with “we” and “you”. Try to keep track of pronouns in speech, because they indicate your position. It will always be more pleasant for your interlocutor to hear about yourself, and he will be more active and more willing to accept those proposals in which you talk about the benefits for him personally. For example, not “I want to show”, but “you will be able to see, and it will definitely be interesting to you.”
By talking more about others and not about yourself, you seem to break down the wall of separation between you, because everyone wants to be understood, interested in him and paid attention to him. This is how you become closer to people. But you should not abuse this advice, because avoiding the “I” may look like its weakness and an attempt to share responsibility, which in the behavior of especially men will be perceived as a minus.
The next tip is to learn to ask open-ended questions, which allow the interlocutor to expand on his answer, while closed-ended ones involve only a few answer options, usually “yes” or “no.” Open questions will allow you to maintain the conversation, deepen it, learn more about the interlocutor, and allow him to express himself. Be interested in your subject, asking him open questions about his hobbies, events throughout the day, ask with liveliness and sincerity, and then you will be surprised how willingly they will make contact with you.
In connection with this advice, let’s say that it is extremely important to first find out in what area the interests of the interlocutor or audience lie, and prepare for communication. Ask leading questions, and then, based on the information you receive, build further communication, include in your speech what the interlocutor told you, emphasize points that correspond to his values, and he will listen to you with even more attention.
Another, perhaps most important, piece of advice is to make the person feel personally valued. And nothing helps to do this at the beginning of communication like calling by name. The more often you say a person’s name, the more often he responds and the better he perceives your message, addressed as specifically for him. All people are focused on themselves, and even if there is a war on the other side of the world, then, most likely, a person will be more worried about a pimple on his own face.
To develop charisma, you also need to pay attention to its non-verbal components, facial expressions, and voice. It is known that intonation depends on health, posture and general emotional state. There are special exercises for developing vocal power that you can resort to when developing charisma has become a goal. The main thing to know is that the voice should come as if from the chest, but not from the level of the throat. With a chesty voice, your timbre will become more pleasant, caressing the ear, which is especially important when communicating with the opposite sex.
There are also exercises for the development of facial movements - for example, facial gymnastics, aimed at feeling each muscle. You should resort to facial exercises, like exercises, in the morning to effectively express your emotions throughout the day. In addition to warming up and keeping fit, you should know how emotions are expressed in movements and intonations, which will provide you not only with more effective expression of yourself and a targeted influence on your interlocutors, but also with the correct reading of their emotions. This relates to the level of emotional intelligence, which has now begun to receive special attention.
A number of psychologists, based on studies of the components of intelligence and the influence of intelligence on social success, argue that emotional literacy is no less important, and the prevention or elimination of alexithymia - the inability to recognize emotions - is simply necessary for a person who wants to become a charismatic interlocutor. Attention to non-verbal components is extremely important, because the first impression usually takes place even before the conversation, in the first few seconds, this happens unconsciously.
Charisma in everything, even in body language
A person with charisma always stands or walks straight, decisively, and confidently. He will not cross his arms over his chest, but will gesticulate beautifully with them. Reliable, competent, successful people always use body language very skillfully. You can follow such people and adopt the most interesting of them for yourself.
You should never be afraid to look people straight in the eyes, you should not look away, you should not look around, constantly being distracted by your phone or watch. You need to attract attention not only with your voice, but also with a sincere look. A real smile can disarm anyone. And you can practice your gestures, glances and smile at home in front of the mirror. Incorrect body language can reveal shyness and indecisiveness. Regular training and working on your mistakes will bring excellent results.
Is it possible to develop charisma?
A charismatic person means a lot to society; he is an individual who is able to persuade and lead, a leader who has great influence on others and is sensitive to their inner mood. They respect him, listen to his advice, always wait for him and love him. It is difficult to be charismatic if you do not naturally have this gift; only constant work, such as developing your own personality, will help you achieve success.
Women's question
It is easier for a woman to develop charisma, as they say, female charisma is an innate charm that manifests itself in femininity and sensuality. This is a harmonious combination of attractive appearance and intelligence: the “cover” attracts attention, and the content holds it. What behavior is typical for charismatic ladies:
- optimistic attitude;
- sense of humor;
- the ability to empathize;
- friendliness;
- the ability to present ordinary news in an interesting way.
A woman must be beautiful and carefully monitor her appearance. What makes a female interlocutor pleasant to talk to is the ability to listen to her opponent, sincerely laugh at his jokes, and make unobtrusive compliments, noticing the person’s merits. Particularly attractive are young ladies with a light character who optimistically experience any difficulties. Develop the bright side in yourself - the result will immediately appear.
Charismatic man - what is he like?
A life partner with pronounced charisma is the dream of every girl. This is a person who is confident in his abilities, rationally thinking and able to extract advantages from any situation. To develop charisma, a man should work on leadership qualities, such as the ability to speak competently and captivatingly, joke appropriately and subtly, skillfully use body language, demonstrating good manners. You need to overcome your fears, learn communication skills and courage in order to gain the attention and respect of others.
