Describe the main symptoms of the 3-year crisis (according to L.S. Vygotsky). Analyze the causes of the crisis and ways to overcome it.

Help from pets

Buying a pet and sharing the responsibilities of caring for it among family members (or children of different ages) is a good way to balance relationships and shift the focus from the self-centered child self to the defenseless ego of a living being.
The ideal choice for a three-year-old child would be a cat. Naturally, from good parents with adequate behavior. A wild street kitten will not be suitable, since the pet should calm you down and put you in a completely different mood. You should choose a breed based on its habits, not its appearance. Among 40 cat breeds you can find a pet for every taste.

Not only the breed is important, but also how the cubs grew, how much they interacted with humans, and what they managed to learn by the time they were 2 months old at the time of sale. A good pet will teach a three-year-old a lot: to arrange a comfortable environment in accordance with the needs of another, to cope with cleaning, to worry about the health of a pet, to raise it.

In terms of mental characteristics, a two-month-old kitten and a three-year-old preschooler are approximately equal, so they understand each other perfectly. The cat will grow up faster and remain a family friend. And during this time, the preschooler’s crisis year will end. The child will learn the basics of responsibility and interspecies friendship.

A 3-year crisis can last from six months to two years and is characterized very individually. Children are so different that one will be mischievous all this time, and the other will “get over it” in 2-3 weeks. Parents need patience not to lose their temper.

Take the 3-year crisis not as a terrible test, but as confirmation of normal development and personality formation. Time passes quickly, an obedient child will soon return if you are careful enough in your own actions. Relationships with parents are built continuously. If contact is lost, it is difficult to restore it at subsequent age stages.

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Main features

Absolutely every parent should understand what this is: a 3-year-old crisis or a normal contextual situation. Perhaps if the baby refuses to sleep, this is due to the fact that he played noisy games, and not whims from scratch.

Basically, the symptoms of a 3-year-old crisis manifest themselves in a complex manner and are accompanied by other emotional and behavioral abnormalities.

1. Parents lose the child's trust as the baby suddenly begins to move away. In this case, you can stop being an authority for the child forever.
2. The child becomes greedy and tries to have something of his own, fiercely guarding it. Harmfulness and jealousy. The baby does not want to share the attention of his parents with anyone, and requires constant presence nearby.
3. Aggression occurs unreasonably, because a 3-year-old child does not understand why all this is happening and blames everyone. And this leads to fights with peers, biting and scratching.

It is important to remember that the 3-year crisis occurs differently for everyone, and it will still not be possible to avoid it.

Symptoms of crisis at 3 years old

Maturation of the personality of a three-year-old

Overcoming the crisis fits within the age range of 2-4 years. The peak moment occurs at age 3. The child needs to realize his own strengths. The first thing the baby does on this path is to explore the capabilities of his body: he jumps, climbs, takes different poses, manipulates objects in the adult world, actively learns about technology and electronics, and masters his first real (three-wheeled) bicycle.

Normally developing children experience pleasure from their expression of will. They contrast their own needs and the demands of adults openly and as if out of spite. Stubbornness is a negative but necessary form of behavior.

Having overcome the conflict of interests, little men learn their first compromises.

How long does the crisis last? 3 years

Every parent wonders how long it will take for this crisis and the constant tantrums from the child to end. But alas, there are no answers to this question, since everything is individual.

The crisis can begin either at 2.5 or 3.5 years, and last up to 3 or 4 years. Everything directly depends on the child’s nervous system and temperament, the parents’ attitude to what is happening and psychological help.

I would also like to note that the 3-year crisis occurs in a shorter period of time, it is always very emotional, and this is considered the norm. But it is worth remembering that if the crisis has dragged on for 1.5 years or more, consultation with a specialist is necessary.

Crisis 3 years psychology

Lev Semyonovich Vygotsky, a Soviet psychologist, emphasized that behind every negative symptom of a crisis “is hidden a positive content, which usually consists of a transition to a new and higher form.”

Positive acquired personality traits of a child after a crisis of 3 years in children:

• Becoming a new level of self-awareness.
• The desire for independence.
• Development of strong-willed qualities and activity.
• Establishing deeper, new relationships with adults in communication, cognitive and substantive activities, and play, in which the importance of a positive assessment of adults’ successes and personal achievements of children is great.

How does the 3 year crisis manifest itself?

External signs of a 3-year-old crisis are usually noticed by parents: the child becomes capricious, argues, stops listening, and may throw a tantrum in the street because of some little thing. Psychologists L.S. Vygotsky and A.A. Leontyev identified 7 main symptoms of a crisis in a child’s 3rd year. In each child they can manifest themselves to varying degrees and in different situations.

Negativism

This is the name of the symptom, which consists in the child’s refusal to do as the adult said. Moreover, refusal to fulfill a request often does not even correspond to the child’s own desires. For example, a mother invites the baby to go for a walk, but he refuses only because it is an adult’s initiative. An interesting feature is that if the parent decides to say “well, okay, then we won’t go for a walk today,” then the child will most likely quickly change his mind and decide that he still wants to go outside. That is, he will again do something different from what the adult said.

Obstinacy

The child refuses to continue following the usual daily routine. For example, if after waking up he always went to brush his teeth and wash his face, and then have breakfast, then in a crisis period he can begin to win his right to first eat, and then go for hygiene procedures.

Stubbornness

The child, who is in a three-year-old crisis, makes his decisions and is not going to cancel them. For example, if he said that he will not tidy up the toys, he will not do it. Even if at the same time the mother gets angry and puts them in the trash. The child will cry, but will not change his decision: he will not clean up.

Self-will

The child tries to do everything on his own, but does not listen to adults who are trying to help him. If a baby fastens his buttons and allows his mother to show him how to do it correctly, then this is simply a desire for independence. When he pushes mother’s hands away, doesn’t let her say or show anything, cries and shouts “I do it myself,” but does everything wrong, then this is self-will.

Protest

Most often it arises against the backdrop of frequent orders from parents about what a child who is in a 3-year-old crisis should do. The kid protests against adults deciding for him. For example, a child completely refuses to read a book at night if the mother chose the fairy tale herself and did not give him the choice.

Depreciation

The baby stops appreciating what he previously considered important and dear. For example, he breaks his favorite toys, tears up books. Significant adults may be devalued, and then the child may call mom and dad names, fight with older brothers and sisters, with whom he previously had excellent relationships.

Despotism

The child is trying to begin to command in the family, wants to be listened to and obeyed. For example, he can order his parents to turn on cartoons right now, despite the fact that they are busy with other things. If they don’t listen to him, then he screams and cries, stamps his feet and continues to demand.

The crisis of three years is manifested by the listed symptoms to one degree or another in every child, but not all of them are manifested so clearly for parents to notice. Sometimes the crisis of three years is limited only to stubbornness and negativism, and in some cases all seven symptoms are clearly visible.

Important tips for parents

Always remember that the behavior of a young man, his whims and rebellion do not come from character. All these are events necessary for the psyche, through which the child’s personality and its emotional-volitional sphere are formed.

The three-year-old rebel wants to be an adult, to participate in the life of the family on an equal basis with others. So that his self-esteem is formed in accordance with his age, and his character remains peaceful, learn to take his opinion into account: in choosing a dish for breakfast, clothes for a visit, a gift for a neighbor’s girl, toys for a walk. A reminder to parents on raising a 2.5-4 year old child consists of just a few points.

Memo for parents on raising children 2.5-4 years old

Reasonable prohibitions. Do not overload the space with many prohibitions. It is better to establish safety rules and establish any requirements from this position. “You can’t be the first to leave the entrance because something might fall from the roof (icicles)/someone will be knocked down (boys on bicycles)/the door is too heavy (it might hurt).

Calmness and resourcefulness. Stay calm and reasonable. Be resourceful. Learn to turn the situation to your advantage. Make truthful arguments. Make fun of minor problems

Switch the capricious person’s attention to something. Look for compromises.

Praise and Choice

Praise for independence in permitted situations. In all other cases, offer an imaginary choice: do not ask if he wants to bathe, ask what shampoo he will use today.

With the permission of your elders, anything is possible. Come up with games and activities in which prohibitions are broken at the request of adults: whatman paper for drawing on top of the wallpaper with your younger sister, a basin of warm water for launching boats with your dad. From time to time, allow harmless “mischief” and do it with your children.

Involvement in activities. Use role-playing games to engage in activities. Place the bear at the table and start feeding. Ask your daughter to help with this. You won’t notice how she will pull the spoon into her mouth.

Anticipating the situation. Anticipate tantrums and agree on behavior in advance. And never compare your children with others. The maximum is with them in the past. Comparison with others undermines the development of self-esteem. Learn yourself and teach your children how to make pleasant surprises. Receiving gratitude is much more pleasant than punishment.

No physical punishment. Extinguish attacks of anger! Deprivation of promised entertainment is also ineffective as punishment. This will only undermine trust in the parent. Punishment should not be directed from parent to child. The best punishment is one that comes from the situation and is aimed at behavior in this situation, that is, impersonal punishment (something broke, became unattainable, got lost, disappeared).

Know how to distinguish between intentional evasion of rules and accidental violation of them in cognitive courage. In every situation, have the restraint to figure it out and not scream. The child who broke the cup may end up having to be praised while at the same time expressing disappointment over the cup. Soften critical remarks as much as possible, and it is completely incorrect to insult a preschooler.

Another note relates to sudden changes in children's behavior. Sometimes it is not a psychologist, but a neurologist who comes to the aid of the family of a disobedient preschooler. When behavioral disorders arise from the physical quality of the nervous system, educational principles are supplemented by medical ones.

Disobedience is no longer seen as a problem, but as a symptom. A neurologist may recommend sedatives. You shouldn't neglect them.

How to survive a 3-year-old crisis: recommendations for parents

Changes in a child's behavior and attitude towards others can take parents by surprise. But this, in truth, is the problem of the parents themselves, who were not prepared in advance for the natural changes in the child’s personality. And if so, then parents should receive all the necessary knowledge in special courses even before the birth of their son or daughter. If these changes had not happened, then a person would never even learn to walk, much less speak. As Carlson said in the famous cartoon - “Calm, only calm!”

Parents should understand that the child’s cognitive and practical activities need support and encouragement, and not prohibitions and restrictions. When a child carries out such activity, he, strictly speaking, turns from a “human larva” into a person as such; therefore, awakening independence in the baby is the ultimate goal for any more or less sensible parents. There is no point in giving birth to a child if you are not going to grow him into a real human being - one who knows, carries out independent activities and has his own mental make-up.

Therefore, in particular, you should not choose an authoritarian parenting style. In the attitude of parents towards the child there should not be a large number of prohibitions and restrictions, or overprotection. The latter is especially dangerous for a developing personality: there is a risk that this personality will never be formed, and by the age of eighteen the young man will have the mindset of a two-year-old child. Obstinacy and other negative manifestations of the crisis of three years, based on this, are natural and correct: nature itself has, as it were, provided a protective mechanism that eliminates any obstacles to human development, even if such obstacles turn out to be parents.

When communicating with a child, the play form should prevail. This way you can interest him in anything and direct his activity in the right direction. The child should like to be independent, it should not be a torment and a forced state; meanwhile, it can become torment if you force him to do something that he does not want or that is not interesting to him.

When explaining to a child the rules of behavior in a given situation, it is necessary to do this in a simple and accessible form. The main thing is that the child understands why he needs to do this and not otherwise. The “Because I said so” option will not work: the child will definitely break such a rule, and he will be absolutely right: he does not want and cannot blindly carry out someone else’s will, and anyone imposing this will on him will be regarded by the child as an enemy. At the same time, however, parents should not show weakness themselves and indulge all the whims of the baby: this will only make him sit on his neck, and in his independence he will not be reasonable, which can subsequently be dangerous for his life and health. Parents must be calmly persistent in their demands.

Nevertheless, the basis for raising a child should be permission to act, and not prohibitions and restrictions; the main thing is that these actions benefit him or at least are not dangerous for him.

Of course, it will not be possible to do without conflict situations completely. And in these situations it is necessary to give the child the right to choose. It is advisable to find a compromise that suits both the child and the parents. You should not solve the problem “instead” of your child, only “together”.

In addition, it is important to teach a child communication skills with various people - peers, adults, younger children. It is through communication that people solve many serious problems, and the art of solving them should be taught to a child from a very early age. It has been noticed that children who have problems in terms of communication often lag behind in general psychological development.

If you approach raising children from the right perspective, then after a while the “protest phase” usually passes. And with too strict upbringing and excessive care, it is only suppressed - without any benefit for the child’s personality: he becomes too obedient, passive, does not show initiative, which is why both the emotional-volitional sphere and the intellect suffer. Conservative and harsh upbringing “breaks” the child’s personality, as they say, in all respects.

Raising a child in a family should be carried out “according to a single standard.” Negative traits in his behavior, especially obstinacy, most often appear where there are disagreements about upbringing - for example, mom allows something, but dad forbids it, or vice versa.

It is curious that this crisis, to a certain extent, repeats other age-related crises. This can be demonstrated through the example of depreciation; in this case, the aggressive behavior of a three-year-old child in relation to what he previously loved and appreciated resembles the behavior of a growing teenager. He can even call his own parents names, and with rather offensive words. By the way, the vocabulary at the age of three is very actively developing and expanding; even obscene words appear in the child’s “arsenal,” and he especially actively uses them to indicate his attitude to the “old world.” In order to maintain some kind of connection with a child who devalues ​​things and phenomena, he can be interested in other things. For example, if he no longer wants to play with his favorite doll, you can offer him a car.

If a child requires more independence, well, offer it to him. At the age of three, a boy or girl can already be entrusted with some “adult” responsibilities - for example, washing dishes (at least plastic ones), laying out napkins, and doing the cleaning. You just shouldn’t give work that is associated with possible danger - for example, dealing with electrical appliances.

In any situation, parents must remain calm. After all, the main desire of a child during a crisis is to unsettle his parents. If he sees that his tantrums lead nowhere and mom and dad remain calm and adamant, then the behavior becomes more stable over time - the child admits defeat. In addition, at the moment of hysteria, the number of “spectators” is important for the child, so in order to calm him down, it is necessary to take him to a less crowded place.

You should talk to your baby about his behavior only when he is in a calm state. If he is hysterical, then it is useless to explain anything to him at this moment. Here you can only wait for him to calm down.

During a crisis period, parents should pay as much attention to their child as possible (if possible, of course). During this period, he sets goals for himself and strives to achieve them, and he likes to demonstrate the results obtained to others. A negative or indifferent reaction from adults is stressful for him, and a positive reaction, on the contrary, increases his self-esteem. During a crisis, children become boastful, but in this case it is a completely natural manifestation of the desire to share the results of their labors. During this period, the child is highly dependent on the opinions of others. Negative reactions from others lead to him being offended, even crying or angry.

In general, for the most successful raising of children, it is necessary to understand that a child is, first of all, a person. Another person, and certainly not a reflection of his parents or their “continuation”. And he must initially be raised as an independent person, and not as an “eternal child” who becomes a little more mature only if his parents desire this. This is precisely what many parents do not understand: for them, a child is something like a plush toy, a thing that parents have the right to twirl as they please. Often the reason for this is that the parents themselves were raised in a similar way; at some point they gave up and decided to remain “obedient” for the rest of their lives, perceiving all stereotypes as the ultimate truth, and they transfer these same stereotypes to their children.

There is a good Eastern saying that says that a child is a “guest in your house”: he should be sheltered, fed and... released. Indeed, he has his own path in life, and he can be said to be passing through his parents’ house. And all attempts to somehow detain him, impose his will, limit his rights are nothing more than taking him hostage. In the end, in the future he will have to independently build a house, choose a profession, make friends and loved ones, start a family, etc. And the foundations of all this are laid in early childhood - through the child’s awareness of himself in this world, the beginning of practical and cognitive activities , self-actualization.

Despite the artificial nature of human civilization, its basis comes from the nature of man himself. So the baby’s independent development should under no circumstances be interfered with; because even if this is done with the best intentions, the results will still be worse - the parent can destroy what he seemed to initially strive for.

Since life develops cyclically, a person will go through similar crises in the future. And these are not only age-related crises: similar processes can be observed in professional careers and in political life. Agree, no normal person can come to terms with the restrictions of a dictatorial state, since the authorities try to treat citizens like little children - such an attitude is perceived as an insult to human dignity. In the same way, an employee of any organization can make a successful career only if he is given at least some initiative: employees who obediently carry out the will of their superiors all their lives do not advance anywhere else and do not even improve their financial situation. So an early childhood crisis should be perceived positively - the child’s activity and even persistence is the key to his successful development in the future.

The age of three is a special milestone in a child’s development. It is believed that during this period the child’s basic development ends: he already fully speaks, walks, enters into interpersonal relationships, and begins work practice (at least in the form of housework). The subsequent years are like a journey through the artificial world of civilization, which was built by many generations of people throughout their history. The child will have to become familiar with letters and numbers, texts, theories and hypotheses, explore a complex and intricate social organization and take his own place in it. Understanding all these things is possible only in conditions of independent activity: if you simply tell a child how a water tap works, he will never learn to use it, since practical development is what is needed here.

With a strict upbringing and many prohibitions, a child may develop something like a fear of practical activity, and this will accompany him even into adulthood. As well as a negative assessment of myself: they say, everything that I do out of natural impulse is wrong - therefore, I myself am wrong and in general was born in vain. These are the thoughts that appear in people who have been forbidden to be human since early childhood.

We fight whims

The biggest problem in the 3-year-old crisis is the frequent whims and hysterics of stubborn little ones. To avoid hysterics and whims, you should discuss your actions with your children in advance. Just because you're shopping for dinner doesn't mean you have to buy a new toy. Talk to your child, explain where you are going, ask his opinion.

If the child has already started to become hysterical, do not start screaming and threatening, remain calm. Kids love to throw tantrums in a crowded place; take your capricious child to a quiet corner where there will be no spectators. Don't start lecturing and raising children in the presence of other people. The best thing to do is hug your baby. Tell your child how much you love him, and also how this fidgety behavior upsets you.

Under no circumstances resort to physical or corporal punishment. The little man will only become embittered, his stubbornness can only increase. The baby will begin to be afraid of its parents. Never insult your child, do not call him a bungler or a hooligan. Praise for all successes. Don't make fun of failures. At this age, many children develop new fears that the baby will not be able to cope with on their own. Children begin to be afraid of heights, darkness, fear of strangers and vast spaces.

How we survived the crisis

Olga, 28 years oldSon Makar, 4 years old

My son has been naughty since childhood, but until he was 2 years old, everything was limited to refusing soup and unwillingness to put away toys, I remember from myself that this is normal. And when we sent him to kindergarten, something unimaginable began. Screams and hysterics in the morning, teachers constantly complained that he did not go to play, offended other children, and did not eat at all. We were seriously scared then and took Makar home for several months, I took a vacation, and my husband and I took turns studying at home, trying to figure out how to overcome the crisis. Of course, at first I swore, screamed, could have spanked him, but the howling only became louder, and then we decided to act in two ways - an agreement and ignoring

It was possible to ignore the hysterics, Makar became calmer when he realized that he would not achieve anything in this way, he himself began to compromise. As a result, after three months we calmly returned to kindergarten, and by the age of 4 even whims became a rarity for us

Crisis of 3 years in children - How to help a child cope with the crisis of 3 years:

• Do not use an authoritarian parenting style, give up overprotection.
• Adhere to the same parenting tactics. Children should be held to the same standards.
• Be sensitive and patient.
• If your child has an outburst of anger, tears, or hysterics, show calm and patience. Do not allow yourself to scream and lash out in response; if the child sees your calmness, he will calm down faster in response. The child should not learn that screaming, tears and hysteria can be manipulated by parents. Children who are hysterical do not need to be punished. Your screaming and swearing will only intensify the hysteria. The child will calm down on his own when he realizes that his tears have no effect on you.
• Try not to argue with your child. Don't try to forcefully break his stubbornness. Remember that the child is testing you. Previously, the child was allowed almost everything, but now much is prohibited, as a result of which the child tries to build a new system of relationships with adults and the outside world. The child learns from his parents to defend his point of view and independence.
• Don't boss your child around! He won't tolerate this. This will only lead to nervous tension.
• Intervene less and rush him.
• Don't persuade him to eat - let him eat on his own. Let him leave the table as soon as he has finished eating.
• Give your child the opportunity to be independent (for example, dress and undress himself).
• Give your child the opportunity to be independent. Assign him simple tasks: water the flowers, set the table, sweep the floor, etc.
• Let your child make his own choice: ask what toy he would like to take with him to kindergarten or for a walk. Which T-shirt would you like to wear from the several options you suggested? The child must learn to make independent decisions.
• Give in on the little things. If a child at lunch wants to eat the main dish first and then the soup, let him, nothing bad will happen.
• Together with your child, look for compromise solutions in the current conflict situation, giving the child the right to choose.
• Education should not be based on prohibitions and punishments, but on positive permission to act.
• The fourth year of life is the most favorable period for the development of hard work in a child.
• Regular pushing over time gives rise to stubbornness, lowers self-esteem, deprives one of independence and the right to choose his own way to solve the problem facing him. Remember, any excessive care kills the child’s initiative.
• Offer your child your help, rather than doing everything for him.
• Show your child your love, praise him more often, hug him. What does it mean to love a child just the way he is, how to show your love to a child, what consequences a lack of love can lead to for a child, read the article “Unconditional acceptance of a child.”
• Your baby may decide that you don't love him if you constantly scold him for his misdeeds, for example, accidentally breaking a cup or spilling soup. A child at this age is not yet able to differentiate between your attitude towards his specific actions and the general attitude towards him personally. Calmly explain to the child why he is wrong, why this is bad. To avoid perpetuating a guilt complex in your child, do not yell at him.
• At the age of 3 years, play becomes a leading activity for the child. Use play techniques when communicating with your child. If a child refuses to eat porridge, ask him to feed the toy, saying that it agrees to eat only in turns with the child. Using role-playing games, you can teach your child the rules of etiquette, norms of behavior, rules of politeness, how to behave correctly at the table, take the child’s toys as allies.
• A child of four years of age begins to feel proud of his successes and achievements. Praise and support your child.
• Don't compare your child's achievements to those of other children. In the fourth year of life, the child has not yet developed a sense of healthy competition. Saying to her child: “Look at what a beautiful, neat boat Katya drew, but you don’t have a ship, but some kind of trough and the drawing is sloppy, you didn’t try!” you will instill in the baby only negative feelings towards Katya. It will be much better and more effective if you give the child his own example, for example: “Today your boat turned out much better than yesterday, the drawing is neat, well done.”
• You should not give your child general ratings, such as “bungler”, “poor-handed”, etc. Your casually thrown words can hurt your child and serve as the basis for further psychological problems. Keep your child confident that he can do everything on his own: “Well done, you almost succeeded, let me help you a little, and together we will do everything right.”

The 3-year-old crisis in children is a period of serious testing for parents. Remember that you were once children too. If it is difficult for you to cope with your child’s behavioral manifestations alone, do not delay, contact a child psychologist, he will help you restore peace in the family.

Features of manifestation

The crisis manifests itself differently in each child. Some throw tantrums in the store, some run away, and some children stubbornly refuse to obey.

Main features of the transitional age of 3 years:

1. Dictatorship. The child persistently tries to subjugate his parents. There is no other option but to obey. The baby accepts any other decisions with tears.
2. Depreciation. Now your favorite toy is under the sofa, songs are not worth singing, and your beloved dad is already perceived as someone else’s uncle.
3. Independence. In some cases this is good, in others the child does not allow himself to be helped, and failures excite the child’s psyche even more.
4. Negativism. The baby will refuse games only because his mother suggested them, and he did not initiate them.
5. Persistence. In any situation, the baby insists on his own and does not accept any arguments.

How to recognize a 3-year crisis?

This happens to everyone: an obedient baby, who was capricious only in exceptional cases, by the age of 3 turns into a stubborn donkey. Every day, parents hear sobs for the most unexpected reasons: they can’t get the moon out of the sky, they poured something to drink into a new cup, they didn’t let them put on a hat in thirty-degree heat. To all suggestions and exhortations, the child shouts: “I myself!” - and even more often - simply “No!” Ultimatums in the spirit of “I won’t!” Do not eat! No porridge!”

Don't panic: all this does not mean that you have spoiled and spoiled your baby. He rebels and throws tantrums not at all in order to anger his parents - for now this is the only way available to him to express himself and his needs. The 3-year-old crisis marks a new stage in the child’s development, and when this difficult period is over, he will become even more independent, reasonable and reasonable. Now he is testing the boundaries of what is acceptable, and the most important thing for a child is to know that you love and accept him for who he is. The baby is growing up, and in times of crisis you will need to build a new relationship with him, based on greater freedom and equality. In order to competently help him (and ourselves!), it is worth learning more about developmental psychology.

A child is a mirror of the family

Do not overprotect your child, but also do not use a despotic style towards him. For a long time before a crisis, children absorb surrounding information, reflect it within themselves, and during the crisis period they release it externally. A child’s behavior can be diagnostic for a family psychologist.

If a specialist notices mistakes of the older generation in the behavior of a younger family member, he will definitely recommend a minimum program:

• agree on a common style, including with grandparents;
• abandon overprotection and authoritarianism;
• remain calm and self-possessed at any time when interacting with children;
• think about every action and word, trying to set a positive example for the child;
• learn to model the necessary situations around the child, become resourceful parents;
• Do not deceive the baby, behave sincerely.

The right strategy is the key to quick results. The child’s behavior changes almost immediately, within a few days.

The baby should have the feeling that he really makes decisions himself. But these decisions must be correct so that parents have the opportunity to praise them. Arguments, swearing, and rivalry only lead to increased rebellion. But the desire to help around the house (fulfilling adult responsibilities) must be encouraged.

Try to spend more time playing together and collaborating in games. The fight for championship is only permissible within the framework of the game

Three years is the time for educational games and games for attention:

• “Edible - inedible”;
• "Not really";
• “Did you know that?..” (facts about nature);
• role-playing game;
• animal-based kindness lessons;
• creative activities, you can involve neighbor children or family members in them.

The reasonable decisions of a preschooler should not be challenged. Let him play with those toys that he considers necessary; let him choose clothes from several acceptable options; let him eat his lunch in his own order. Deprive him of the opportunity to throw a tantrum or become angry.

Through experimentation he chooses his future habits and shapes his character. He will still come to generally accepted instructions and algorithms, because that’s what everyone around him is doing. A three-year-old needs to be convinced of the correctness of the choice of adults from his own experience. If now we deprive him of the opportunity to choose, then more destructive riots may arise in adolescence.

• Offer your help when needed.
• Praise good crafts and provide support when things don't work out.
• Hug your baby before bed. Even if he did something wrong.
• Avoid directive instructions; it is better to stick to a diplomatic strategy.
• Never call a child a bungler, a blockhead, or stupid - don’t kill a child’s self-esteem at 3 years old!
• Learn parenting tricks (for example, the advice of Dr. Komarovsky).

All these are pedagogical tools of good parents for any age stage.

Stubbornness

Stubbornness and perseverance are two different things that should not be confused with each other. Persistence is about the manifestation of will, which allows the child to achieve his goal. But a stubborn child will stand his ground only because he has already demanded it before.

Let's take a closer look at the difference between stubbornness and persistence:

• Persistence. The child flatly refuses to sit at the table because he has not completed the tower of blocks. And it keeps collapsing.
• Stubbornness. If a mother calls her child for breakfast, but he refuses. And before that he said that he was not hungry. In fact, he was hungry and wouldn’t mind having something to eat.

What to do in this case? You shouldn’t try to convince your baby and continue to persistently call him for breakfast. The right solution is to leave food on the table and tell your child that he can eat when he is hungry.

6.4. Crisis of three years

The three-year crisis is characterized by the fact that personal changes occurring in the child lead to changes in his relationships with adults.
This crisis arises because the child begins to separate himself from other people, is aware of his capabilities, and feels himself a source of will. He begins to compare himself with adults, and he involuntarily has a desire to perform the same actions as them, for example: “When I grow up, I will brush my teeth myself.” At this age, the following traits appear: negativism, stubbornness, devaluation, obstinacy, self-will, protest-rebellion, despotism. These characteristics were described by L.S. Vygotsky. He believed that the emergence of such reactions contributes to the emergence of a need for respect and recognition.

Negativism

manifests itself in a negative reaction to an adult’s demand or request, and not to the action itself. For example, a child ignores the demands of one family member or teacher, while obeying others. It was also noted that negativism mainly manifests itself in relationships with relatives, and not with strangers. Perhaps subconsciously the child feels that such behavior towards his family will not cause him serious harm. Therefore, we must remember that negativism and disobedience are two different things.

Another characteristic of the three-year crisis is stubbornness.

Its reason is not the child’s desire to get what he wants or demand at any cost, but that his opinion is taken into account. It doesn’t matter to the child whether he gets this thing or not, he needs to establish himself in his “adulthood”, in the fact that his opinion also means something. Therefore, a stubborn child will insist on his own even if he does not really need this thing.

The next characteristic is depreciation

– is inherent in all crises. It manifests itself in the fact that all habits and values ​​that were previously dear begin to depreciate. For example, a child may throw and even break a previously beloved toy, refuse to comply with previously accepted rules of behavior, now considering them unreasonable, etc.

Obstinacy

is directed against accepted norms of behavior in the family and is similar to negativism and stubbornness. For example, if it is customary in the family to have dinner together, then the child begins to refuse to eat at this particular time, and then he develops an appetite.

Self-will

is expressed in the child’s desire to do everything himself.
If in infancy he strived for physical independence, now his behavior is aimed at independence of intentions and plans. This behavior manifests itself not only in the actions offered to adults, for example: “Do it yourself,” “You are already big and can do it,” etc., but also in the persistent desire to do this and not otherwise. This feeling captures the child to such an extent that he openly contrasts his desires with the expectations of others. The manifestation of independence is reflected in relationships with adults. When a child realizes that he can do something on his own,
he does not need adult help. They must understand this and try to avoid negative statements on this matter, not criticize the child, but allow him to show independence.

Protest riot

is expressed in frequent quarrels between children and parents. According to L.S. Vygotsky, “the child is at war with others, in constant conflict with them” (Vygotsky L.S., 1991).

Manifestations of despotism

are as follows: the child begins to dictate to everyone around him how to behave, and strives to be listened to and acted as he says. Such behavior can occur when the child is alone in the family or the last one.

​Factors influencing the development of the crisis

As a rule, in normally developing children, mental restructuring and adaptation to new social conditions takes from three months to a year. By the age of 3.5–4 years, a preschooler has sufficiently mastered new social and everyday skills. But there are a number of factors, some of which can significantly mitigate and reduce the duration of crisis manifestations:

• Close, trusting relationship between mother and child.
• A single line of upbringing and behavior for all adult family members.
• Adults' awareness of the need to satisfy natural and reasonable children's desires.

Factors aggravating crisis manifestations:

• Authoritarian form of family education.
• Indulging in all the whims of the baby.
• Lack of a unified line of behavior and education among adult family members.
• Tense family relationships.
• Lack of attention due to busy parents, indifference, or the appearance of a younger child in the family.
• Coincidence of the peak of crisis manifestations and adaptation to kindergarten.

​Other factors also influence the depth of the crisis:

• the character type of a small personality (in easily excitable, energetic children, symptoms of crisis manifest themselves more acutely);
• the severity of the symptoms depends on the gender of the baby (girls show capriciousness most acutely, and boys are more stubborn);
• external and internal factors (illness, overwork, overexcitement, weather conditions).

L.S. Vygotsky describes 7 characteristics of a 3-year crisis

1) Negativism

- the desire to do something contrary to an adult’s suggestion.

2) Stubbornness

- the child insists on something because he demanded it.

3) Obstinacy

against the norms of upbringing, the way of life that developed before the age of three

4) Self-will

- manifestation of the initiative of one’s own action, the desire to do oneself

5) Protest riot

- a child in a state of war and conflict with others

6) Symptom of devaluation

- manifests itself in the fact that the child begins to swear, tease and call parents names

7) Despotism

- the child forces the parents to do everything he demands.

The child wants to act independently, but the reality of his life makes this impossible. For the first time in a child’s life, he has to act in a situation of separation of the motive (full participation in adult life) and the realized goal of the (game) action. This situation is the first step towards personality formation.

Children begin to develop will and autonomy (independence, independence), they adult care The child learns the difference between “want” and “should”. Feelings of shame and uncertainty instead of autonomy arise in children when parents limit the child’s independence, punish or ridicule any attempts at independence.

Towards the end of early childhood, interests shift to the world of adults , “social adults.” A new attitude towards adults emerges. Now he acts as the personification of social roles (“mother in general”, father, bus driver, doctor, policeman), as a bearer of patterns of action and social relations (leadership and subordination, care and aggression). The resolution of the early childhood crisis is associated with the transfer of action into a playful, symbolic plane, with the emergence of play.

Crisis 7 years L.S. Vygotsky called this crisis the crisis of seven years and pointed to obvious changes in the child’s character and behavior.

Signs of a crisis period:

- a pause occurs between addressing the child and his response (“as if he doesn’t hear”, “needs to be repeated a hundred times”)

- the appearance of a challenge on the part of the child to the need to fulfill a parental request or a delay in the time of its fulfillment

- disobedience as refusal of usual activities and responsibilities

- cunning as a violation of established rules in a hidden form (shows wet hands instead of washed ones)

- demonstrative “maturity”, sometimes even to the point of caricature, behavior

- increased attention to one’s appearance and clothing, the main thing is not to look “like a small person.”

There are also such manifestations as stubbornness, demandingness, reminders of promises, whims, a heightened reaction to criticism and expectation of praise.

A change in self-awareness leads to a revaluation of values . What was important before becomes secondary. Old interests and motives lose their motivating power and are replaced by new ones. Everything that is related to educational activities (primarily grades) turns out to be valuable, everything that is related to the game is less important.

The restructuring of the emotional and motivational sphere is not limited to the emergence of new motives and shifts and rearrangements in the child’s hierarchical motivational system. During a crisis period, profound changes occur in terms of experiences . At the end of preschool childhood, the child began to become aware of his experiences . Now conscious experiences form stable affective complexes.

Thanks to the generalization of experiences at the age of 7, a logic of feelings appears . Experiences acquire a new meaning for the child, connections are established between them, and a struggle between experiences becomes possible.

This complication of the emotional and motivational sphere leads to the emergence of the child’s inner life . The beginning differentiation of the child's external and internal life is associated with a change in the structure of his behavior .

A semantic orienting basis for an action appears —a link between the desire to do something and the unfolding actions. Meaningful orientation in one’s own actions becomes an important aspect of inner life. At the same time, it eliminates the impulsiveness and spontaneity of the child’s behavior. Thanks to this mechanism, children's spontaneity is lost ; the child thinks before acting, begins to hide his experiences and hesitations, and tries not to show others that he feels bad.

A pure crisis manifestation of the differentiation between the external and internal life of children usually becomes antics, mannerisms, and artificial tension in behavior. By the end of preschool age, the child develops the ability to act arbitrarily in relation to the conditions of action in terms of behavior (arbitrariness of behavior) and in terms of solving intellectual problems (arbitrariness of mental activity, positionality of action). Traditionally, these characteristics are considered necessary conditions for school maturity (readiness for school). The formation of these abilities is associated with the emergence of a complex series of divisions in the child’s consciousness. An idea of ​​a new, outsider adult appears, the ability to act freely in relation to the conditions of presentation of a task (positional action), the ability to voluntarily hold a task (voluntary motor action), (formation of the student’s position), the distinction between the real self and the ideal self , etc.

But all these abilities do not arise simultaneously; they go through a number of stages in their development. According to Vygotsky, the generalization of experiences and the emergence of internal mental life are indicators of the completion of the critical age.

15.2 communication - being a connecting link between people, helping to find and convey what is (or can be) common between them. Moreover, this common thing can be either something that has just arisen, in the process of joint activity, or knowledge transmitted through many centuries.

The main functions of communication are:

— organizing joint activities of people (joining efforts to achieve them);

—formation and development of interpersonal relationships;

—people getting to know each other;

—a necessary condition for the formation of personality, its consciousness and self-awareness. In the course of communication, the so-called a product of communication - education of both a material and spiritual nature.

Among the main products of communication are:

overall result, relationships, selective attachments, self-image.

What age period?

During the formation of a child’s personality, there are certain age limits.

The first manifestations of the crisis may appear at 18-20 months. This is an early age. The 3-year crisis can usually occur from 2.5 to 3.5 years.

The duration of this complex phenomenon is quite arbitrary. In some cases, the crisis can last several years.

Pronounced psycho-emotional reactions depend on several characteristics, namely:

1. Children's temperament. In a choleric/sanguine child, the signs appear more clearly than in a phlegmatic or melancholic child.
2. Parenting style. If parents have an authoritarian parenting style, then the manifestation of children's negativism worsens significantly.
3. Features of the relationship between mother and child. The closer a mother is psychologically to her child, the easier it will be to overcome negative aspects.

External conditions also influence the intensity of emotional reactions. For example, if the peak of this period occurs at the beginning of the child’s adaptation to kindergarten. It often happens that a younger brother or sister is born into the family. Such indirect external conditions aggravate the child’s psycho-emotional reactions.

Causes of the 3-year-old crisis in children

As you already know, during the period of crisis of 3 years, children develop such behavioral characteristics as: negativism, self-will, stubbornness, aggression and many other undesirable manifestations of the psyche. All these behavioral features are explained by the fact that a child between the ages of 2.5 and 3.5 years begins to recognize himself as an independent person and demonstrate his own will.

An acute crisis of three years with hysterics may be a consequence of an authoritarian model of upbringing in the family, restrictions on the child’s personal initiative and independence, inadequate and frequent use of punishments and prohibitions, or, on the contrary, a style of family education such as overprotection will contribute to the aggravation of the child’s relationship with adults, as well as inconsistency and inconsistency in demands on the child.

What should parents do?

First of all, adults need to understand that children's behavior is not bad heredity or harmful character. Your child is already big and wants to become independent. It's time to build a new relationship with him.

1. React thoughtfully and calmly. It should be remembered that the baby, through his actions, tests the parent’s nerves for strength and looks for weak spots that can be put pressure on. Also, you should not shout, take it out on children, and especially do not punish physically - harsh methods can aggravate and prolong the crisis (Why you should not spank a child - 6 reasons).
2. Set reasonable limits. There is no need to fill the life of a little person with all sorts of prohibitions. However, you should not go to the other extreme, otherwise, due to permissiveness, you risk raising a tyrant. Find the “golden mean” - reasonable boundaries that you absolutely cannot cross. For example, it is forbidden to play on the road, walk in cold weather without a hat, or skip daytime naps.
3. Encourage independence. The child can try to do everything that does not pose a danger to the child’s life, even if several mugs are broken in the process of learning (Should I punish a child for random offenses or not?). Does your little one want to draw on the wallpaper? Attach whatman paper to the wall and give some markers. Shows genuine interest in the washing machine? A small basin with warm water and doll clothes will distract you from tricks and whims for a long time.
4. Give the right to choose. Parental wisdom suggests giving even a three-year-old child the opportunity to choose from at least two options. For example, do not force outerwear on him, but offer to go outside in a green or red jacket :). Of course, you still make serious decisions, but you can give in on unprincipled things.

READ ALSO: Little manipulators: how to respond to a child’s tricks? 10 most successful children's phrases

How to cope with whims and hysterics?

In most cases, the bad behavior of three-year-olds - whims and hysterical reactions - is aimed at attracting parental attention and getting the desired thing. How should a mother behave during a three-year crisis to avoid constant hysterics?

During an affective outburst, it is useless to explain something to the baby. It's worth waiting until he calms down

If you find yourself hysterical in a public place, try to take it away from the “public” and distract the child’s attention. Remember what kind of cat you saw in the yard, how many sparrows were sitting on a branch in front of the house. Try to smooth out outbursts of anger with the help of games.

If your daughter doesn’t want to eat, sit a doll next to her and let the girl feed her. However, soon the toy will get tired of eating alone, so one spoon for the doll, and the other for the baby (see the video at the end of the article). To prevent whims and hysterics during a crisis, learn to negotiate with your children before starting any action. For example, before going shopping, agree that it is impossible to purchase an expensive toy. Try to explain why you cannot buy this machine. And be sure to ask what the baby would like to receive in return, offer your own version of entertainment.

To minimize the manifestation of hysterics and whims, you must:

remain calm without showing irritation; provide the child with attention and care; invite the child to choose a way to solve the problem (“what would you do in my place?”); find out the reason for this behavior; postpone the conversation until the scandal is over.

READ IN DETAIL: How to deal with children's hysteria: advice from a psychologist

Some parents, after reading our article, will say that they have not observed such negative manifestations in their three-year-old children. Indeed, sometimes a three-year crisis occurs without obvious symptoms. However, the main thing in this period is not how it passes, but what it can lead to. A sure sign of the normal development of a child’s personality at this age stage is the emergence of such psychological qualities as perseverance, will and self-confidence.

Thus, a crisis at the age of three is an absolutely normal phenomenon for a growing child, which will help him become an independent person. And one more important point - the more trusting and softer the relationship between the baby and mother, the easier it will go through this stage. Irritation, categoricalness and shouting from adults will only worsen the child’s negative behavior.

Can a child’s 3-year-old crisis pass unnoticed, without symptoms?

A 3-year-old crisis in children can occur without any obvious negative manifestations in the child’s behavior. The opinion that this can negatively affect the mental development or development of the child’s personality is erroneous.

In a crisis in the development of a child’s personality, the main thing is not how it proceeds, but what it leads to, what new mental formations will appear in the child. The appearance of such qualities as independence, will, and pride in achievements is a sure sign of adequate development of the child’s personality at this age stage of his development.

Psychological picture of the crisis of three years

The crisis of three years has no clear boundaries of beginning and end. The approximate time frame for the onset of symptoms is 2-3.5 years. A child’s acute interest in himself can indicate an approaching crisis. He looks at himself in the mirror, watches his shadow, and is puzzled by his appearance and how he looks in the eyes of other people. During this period, many children begin to react sharply to failure: they throw toys and objects, beat themselves and close adults.

The three-year-old crisis often manifests itself in the child’s demonstrative behavior. He expresses his dissatisfaction with hysterics and whims. Such a reaction can be to any previously habitual action of the parents. The child has one answer to all the adult’s questions and suggestions – “no!” However, such child behavior is considered normal for this age. And this must be understood and accepted.

The three-year crisis is characterized by clear, specific symptoms, which are called the “seven-star three-year crisis,” since these symptoms manifest themselves clearly and in aggregate.

Negativism

Negativisim is the most obvious symptom of this crisis. This is a reaction not to the content of the sentence, but to the fact that it comes from an adult. Especially if this proposal is made in an authoritarian tone. The child does not specifically comply with the parents’ requests. He strives to do the opposite, in defiance of the adult, even in defiance of his own wishes.

Stubbornness

Stubbornness manifests itself in the child’s insistence on his own. It is impossible to convince him. He decided so and he does not accept other options.

Obstinacy

It is expressed in dissatisfaction with everything that adults offer him, with which the child has dealt before. This is a reaction not to a specific person, but in general non-acceptance of the established rules of behavior in the family, daily routine and other conditions.

Self-will

It lies in the desire for independence. Psychologists often call this stage in development the “I’m on my own!” crisis. The child wants to decide for himself where to go, what to eat for lunch, when to go to bed, what game to play. He reinforces this desire verbally. The most popular phrase of this age is: “I myself!” The tendency towards independence itself is a sign of age-appropriate development. In this way, the child tests his capabilities and satisfies the need for knowledge.

Protest riot

Manifests itself in the form of frequent quarrels with parents. The child objects to everything adults tell him. The kid wants his wishes and opinions to be taken seriously. If this is not the case, a conflict begins, which can be provoked by absolutely any situation.

Depreciation

Depreciation, as a symptom of a crisis, is expressed in the child’s speech and his actions towards significant adults and favorite things. Everything that was interesting and dear to the child before loses its significance and value during this period of life. Cursory words may appear in the baby’s vocabulary and he begins to call his parents names. Some kids show physical aggression towards mom or dad, refuse their favorite toys or break them.

Despotism

The kid considers himself the most important thing in the family and strives to completely control his parents. He achieves his demands by any means. If mom is busy with housework, she should drop everything and just sit next to her

If she does not fulfill the baby’s demands, he uses his entire arsenal: he begins to whine, be mischievous, throw things around the house, that is, do everything to attract the mother’s attention. In families with several children, this symptom is called a symptom of jealousy, which is manifested by whims, aggression directed at a brother (sister) and parents

But sometimes this critical period can pass almost unnoticed by parents. There is an opinion among psychologists that this may not have the best effect on the development of the child’s personality and may even lead to a delay in the development of the volitional sphere. However, in a development crisis, the main thing is not how it occurs, but what it leads to. Manifestation of independence, will, interest in learning about the environment are signs that development corresponds to age standards.

Symptoms of a 3-year-old crisis in children

• There is a breakdown of the old and the formation of new qualities of the child’s personality.
• The child begins to separate from adults.
• There is an irresistible desire to do everything, to decide on your own. In this connection, he fiercely resists any pressure from the people around him.
• The child begins to defend his “I”.
• In a child’s speech one can increasingly hear “I”, “I myself”, “I can”, “I want”.
• A sense of ownership, a tendency towards greed and jealousy appears.
• The baby becomes stubborn.
• Children do not do what they were asked to do, they do the opposite. It is important for parents to know that the desire to do the opposite is manifested against the will of the child, to the detriment of his interests.
• A child may show dissatisfaction with what an adult offers him, may quarrel with people around him, behave aggressively, bite, fight.
• May call parents swear words. What should parents do in this case? How to behave with a child? How to respond to insults? Parents should show their dissatisfaction with the child’s behavior, their resentment. Sternly tell your child that you do not like to hear such words and you do not want him to use them.
• At this age, children often have tears and hysterics if adults do not satisfy the child’s wishes.
• The child requires constant attention from adults.
• During a 3-year-old crisis, children are more eager for rewards; a feeling of pride in their achievements and successes appears.

How to overcome the crisis of 3 years in a child?

To answer the question of how to survive a child’s 3-year-old crisis, it is important to understand that such a child’s behavior is not at all bad heredity or spoilage. The baby grows up and begins to strive for independence

At this time, he goes through the first turning point in his attempt to become an individual, and it is important to support his manifestations and give confidence that mom and dad will not turn away as soon as the child becomes less comfortable.

Three-year crisis - advice to parents

Advice to survive the three-year crisis will only help when parents really want it and have patience:

Allow your baby to be independent. Don’t try to do everything for him; on the contrary, involve the baby in household responsibilities and allow him to make his own decisions - to make mistakes, fall, get up and make mistakes again. Ask your child to help wash (plastic) dishes, dust, or put away toys. But under no circumstances should you allow your baby to get close to potentially dangerous activities - electrical and hot appliances. Be patient. Excessive emotionality of parents shows that the baby can influence them through screaming or tears. As soon as the child understands that manipulations do not work, he begins to look for other “levers”. Reduce the number of prohibitions. Try to start conceding in small disputes. The child must clearly understand what is strictly prohibited - important safety rules and social norms, violation of which can result in health consequences. Everything else is not so significant and can be discussed

Give your child the opportunity to choose. The crisis of three years is characterized by stubbornness and negativism, the baby tries to do everything the other way around and that is why it is so important to give him the opportunity to make a choice. The child must come to understand that he is independent and is responsible for his decisions

You can only offer a few options and wait for the “boss” to answer.

What to do if a child is hysterical?

To prevent an outburst of emotions during a child’s 3-year-old crisis, it is necessary to constantly talk and negotiate with him. The baby is already going through a difficult time, during which he spends a lot of physical and emotional energy, try to help him express his emotional states more and then it will be much easier for him to explain himself without outbursts. But what to do if the hysteria gains momentum?

How to calm a child when hysterical and what to do:

1. In the midst of a tantrum, you should not try to explain to your child that he is wrong. It’s worth waiting until he comes to his senses, and then discussing his emotions (be sure to talk through his states), and then explain in detail why you consider such behavior unworthy and bad. Tell your child about your feelings, even if they are negative, so he will learn to express his emotions in words.
2. When a 3-year-old child has a tantrum, try to hug him and let him know that his mother is always there. Any child during a tantrum wants to be pitied. If the baby doesn’t let you hug him the first time, you should wait a little and try again. Hugs can stabilize the nervous system and give a feeling of security.
3. It is best to ignore hysteria in a public place. As soon as the child understands that the “spectators” are not interested in his emotional torment, he will immediately get up from the floor, dust himself off and go on with his business.

Causes of child crisis 3 years

According to the theory of L.S. Vygotsky, a child’s growing up is an alternation of stable and crisis periods of mental development. In stable periods, the child develops slowly and linearly, in periods of crisis - rapidly and spasmodically. One of the main causes of the crisis is the child’s conflict with the outside world. He wants to do everything on his own, but he is prevented from doing this by circumstances that he cannot influence, for example, adult prohibitions and an insufficient level of knowledge and skills.

Factors influencing the intensity of crisis manifestations:

• Type of nervous activity. Children with a weak or unstable type - melancholic and choleric - are more likely than others to throw tantrums, be capricious and protest against the rules during a crisis. Phlegmatic and sanguine people have an easier attitude towards obstacles in their lives and usually behave a little more calmly.
• Authoritarian parenting style in the family. If parents constantly suppress the child’s impulses for independence, then he resists this more than if this does not happen.
• Anxious type of parenting and overprotection. In such a family, the child’s independence is also suppressed, only for other reasons: the parents consider him a very small child who cannot do anything on his own. Protests and hysterics in this case are inevitable.
• Tensions in the family. If conflicts often occur between parents, then the child unconsciously tries to attract attention to himself. He practically fails to do this, so the crisis of three years manifests itself more intensely.
• Health status. Children with mental and neurological developmental disabilities experience an age-related crisis much more acutely than their healthy peers.