Obscene language, or simply swearing, is becoming a real problem in modern society. The speech of many people (including girls) is simply clogged with ugly, uncultured words. But in fact, during a conversation it is quite possible to do without them. But obscene language often becomes a habit, and it becomes difficult to wean yourself from swearing.
It is, of course, unpleasant to listen to abuse. And everyone understands perfectly well that swear words cannot decorate a person.
However, tell yourself: “From now on, I will never use swear words in my speech again!” and even more so, keeping such a promise is quite difficult, but still possible.
The main thing is to approach this systematically. You need to start with your psychology in particular and the psychology of people in general. First, we need to understand why we start arguing in the first place.
Why do people curse
To believe that the reason lies in lack of education is stupid. Indeed, nowadays everyone can easily find a way to quickly increase their cultural level.
Obviously, swear words should be ordinary atavisms. Therefore, the reason must be looked for in something else.
Mat helps to assert oneself
Swearing is not just a part of the language, and not even just a language, but a special phenomenon. It exists and is actively used. However, there is a social ban on the use of such language.
Prohibitions, as a rule, are violated for one of two reasons: either out of naivety or out of fear. Therefore, those whose speech is not complete without obscene expressions certainly cannot be classified as happy people.
By demonstrating his aggression, a person thereby, without realizing it, is trying to hide his weaknesses and self-doubt.
The more confused a person is, the more often he turns to swear words. This is akin to the behavior of an aggressive animal that is frightened by something and at the same time furious. It growls, hisses and shows its fangs.
Thus, teenagers use swear words, fearing that they will not be accepted for who they are. After all, it is much easier to assert yourself by following common principles, that is, by trying to be like everyone else.
And when people grow up, a large burden of responsibility falls on their shoulders. And they continue to swear, trying to drown out their fear of possible failures.
And the worst thing is when people swear at their interlocutors. By insulting them, they begin to feel superior. But, of course, this feeling is actually deceptive. After all, someone who calmly endures even the worst words addressed to him is certainly much higher in moral and ethical terms than his aggressive interlocutor.
Laziness
Another reason why people swear is laziness, unwillingness to come up with something. Indeed, it is much easier to use some “hackneyed” phrase than to try to construct any complex sentences in your head.
But laziness must be fought. Otherwise, the ability to speak beautifully in competent Russian will soon be completely lost.
Frequent stressful situations
Today there is no need to prove once again that a swear word or an entire expression helps to release accumulated anger. There are many reasons for stress and conflict in the modern world.
A person uses swearing to protect himself from the outside world. In this case, its behavior can be compared to a hedgehog that has curled up into a ball and exposed its needles.
Such a person always experiences discomfort and gradually stops paying attention to other people’s problems, increasingly losing his loyalty.
Practical advice
So, we decided that we had crossed all boundaries: swearing had firmly entered our lives. To fight him and yourself, the same methods are suitable as when fighting parasitic words.
Among the proposed methods there are also very radical ones. For example, wrap an ordinary rubber band around your hand. And with every strong word that comes out, pull it, and then release it so that it hits your hand as painfully as possible.
As a result, “bad” words will be associated with pain. For greater effect, it is even recommended to use a stun gun. However, this is not far from masochism.
We punish ourselves with “rubles”
You can have a piggy bank where you throw money every time a word pops up that isn’t a sparrow—you won’t catch it. The job is done - we pay the fine.
But this method will only be effective if the piggy bank belongs to someone else, and our money will float away from us.
After all, we will want to fill our own piggy bank faster, which will not encourage us to forget swear words.
How to stop swearing in a week?
- Start reducing the number of such words every day. First of all, don't swear in the street. Leave the sharp words for home.
- Then, stop arguing with friends. Then, you can swear only mentally. After which, give up this habit altogether.
If you can’t do this in 1 week, don’t be discouraged. The main thing is to take a small step forward every day and move towards the goal. It is advisable that friends and acquaintances support you in this. Then it will be much easier to quit swearing.
Motivation comes first
Understand why a girl should stop swearing? Define goals and objectives for yourself.
You need to realize that checkmate:
- Attracts people from bad companies to you;
- Pushes parents, teachers, etc. away from you;
- Reduces your chances of getting a normal job;
- Reduces vocabulary, reducing mental abilities.
As a result, you turn into a redneck, which is perceived as an obviously stupid and narrow-minded creature. And even if you think you look cool, from the outside it’s far from true.
Today's world is more civilized than society in the early 2000s. Therefore, ladies who constantly swear are perceived very negatively in most companies. Remember this and fight this habit.
Mat is not cool!
Often girls speak a dirty language because they consider it unusual, individual and interesting. To get rid of such a stereotype, it is worth considering the original meaning of each bad word.
So, the word “d*ck” is the male genital organ. Do you want to constantly refer to this part of the body in conversation? No! Then throw this word out of your vocabulary. Think the same way about other words and you can beat your habit.
Look at the people who are your standards of success. Most of them don't swear. After all, almost all singers, artists, poets, and politicians speak normal Russian. They're cool, but they don't use tough words. Take an example from them.
The only way a girl can stop swearing is through her own efforts. Don't shift responsibility to the company or hard life. Just start speaking correctly here and now. Here's a simple recipe for dealing with foul language.
Swear words significantly lower the level of speech culture, creating an extremely unpleasant impression on the interlocutor of the person who pronounces them. Unfortunately, most people often sin by using obscene language. Moreover, many of them understand that swearing is prohibited. But they cannot or do not want to get rid of this bad habit.
How can a girl stop swearing?
People tend to acquire bad habits, especially during adolescence. But you have to struggle to get rid of them, making efforts and working on yourself. Obscene expressions have become firmly established in everyday life due to the poor vocabulary of ordinary people. To express your thoughts, you need to choose words and put them into a sentence. But if there are no cultural words in the lexicon that have appropriate meaning, and one obscene word can serve as a synonym for several at once, then it takes up space in a person’s head.
There always come periods when it becomes simply fashionable to express oneself unprintably, especially among young people. Nowadays rap is in trend, using words consisting of swear words and the habit of communicating on social networks using Russian swear words. In order to look decent in the eyes of their peers, not only guys adopt this manner of speech. Fortunately, some people think about the herd instinct and want to resist it.
☝️So, how to stop swearing for a girl who no longer notices this bad habit:
1. Seek help from another person. If in your social circle there is a more cultured girlfriend or friend who is ready to help, you can contact them. Someone from the family is also suitable as an observer, provided that he does not criticize or lecture. What is required from the “assistant”: the person must pay attention to filler words in your speech and report every fact of their occurrence. You can correct your speech in pairs with someone, providing mutual assistance.
2. Understand why you use dirty words. You need to observe yourself, reflect and understand what provokes you to use swear words. Some swear because of bad grades, others are nervous and relieve tension with words. If you manage to find such a provoking fact, you need to think about how to avoid tense situations so as not to cause a negative reaction in yourself. If you swear because everyone around you does so, you will have to think about your social circle and new acquaintances with more cultured people.
3. A fine piggy bank can help in the fight against parasitic words. Get a piggy bank, just don't use it as usual. Such jars are filled every time a bad word is uttered. Choose the amount of the voluntary fine and put the bill in the jar every time you can’t resist. This type of “punishment” is also used in organizations to improve the culture of communication. And the reward for your efforts will ultimately be a tidy sum, which you can reward yourself with after defeating a bad habit, but not before. This is a good example of how to stop swearing at a girl quickly and effectively.
4. Another common psychological technique based on physical influence is an elastic band on the hand. Once you put it on your wrist, don’t take it off until you achieve the result. How it works? Every time a bad word comes out of your mouth, you need to pull back the rubber band and snap it on your hand.
The sensation is not too painful, but unpleasant enough for the brain to register it. Accompanying bad words with a click forms new neural connections in the brain, thanks to which the pleasure of swearing will be replaced by negativity, and you will automatically try to use it less often and will soon stop doing it altogether.
I told a teenage girl how to stop swearing, but for a successful result you need patience, attentiveness and work on yourself. These methods work when people quit smoking or want to overcome other bad habits.
Positive thinking and good music
Those who have realized that there is no need to swear and have seriously decided to eradicate this bad habit can be advised to be positive. After all, many of us begin to swear precisely when something makes us nervous.
- You need to try to distract yourself from irritating factors and not pay special attention to them.
- You need to try to develop resistance to stressful situations and not worry about trifles.
- Don't be annoyed by the sudden rain or lack of money at the nearest ATM.
Those who are constantly thinking about how to stop swearing need to listen to as much good music as possible.
These can be classical works or any other beautiful compositions. To make sure that swearing to music is much more difficult, you can conduct a simple experiment. While listening to your favorite tune, try swearing and see what happens.
If at the moment when you feel the urge to swear, there is no music nearby, you can start quietly humming your favorite song instead of bad words.
Reading classics and changing your social circle
People who don’t know how to stop swearing can be recommended to read more classical works. Literature not only helps to polish your speech, but also allows you to tune in to the positive.
There is another important point in this matter that definitely needs to be paid attention to. Before you stop swearing, you need to reconsider your own social circle.
It is advisable to refuse friendship with people whose vocabulary is filled with obscene expressions. You should remember that the less often you meet with such people, the less often you will swear. You need to communicate exclusively with those who watch their speech and do not use swear words.
The problem of every generation
When we were 12 years old and returning home from school, you asked a serious question: “Why do girls swear? This is terribly ugly and unpleasant to hear. Do they just want to seem cool? I was taken aback: you voiced what worried me too. Indeed, in the sixth grade, several classmates began to express themselves openly during breaks. The rude words spoken by the cute girls hurt my ears. You supported me in this indignation, and since then I have not cursed in front of boys and men and, of course, in front of you. What can we say about the son? And you never allowed yourself to “let off steam” in front of your children. But what can they do, they don’t get it from their parents - at school or in the yard there will definitely be a chatterbox who will “teach.” And how can we wean him now without unnecessary moralizing, like, “Sir, you are not suitable for your age and not for your years”? But at the age of 13, that “knight” who fought for culture and morality grew up over the summer and began to intersperse vulgar words into his speech. Sometimes the girls heard them too. I wasn’t particularly worried about this - all I had to do was look at you with a soft, silent reproach, and you immediately stopped short. What bothered me was that I, too, began to utter in my thoughts some words from the indecent repertoire.
This bad habit remains with me to this day, especially during times of prolonged stress. But then it was new. And it became scary: what if the forbidden word breaks out on emotions? And I didn’t have the Internet yet to find out how to stop swearing at a teenage girl.
I remember that during adolescence there was a desire for someone to get into my head and explain what was happening in life. Maybe our child feels the same. And you and I, even as adults, have been unable to find the correct answer to the question about using swear words for so many years. So I finally decided on this weakness and turned to a psychologist.
Why do teenagers swear?
A psychologist named Svetlana asked how old her son was.
- Fourteen.
-You have a very conscientious child. Why does he want to stop swearing? He must be drawn to a cultural environment where this is not acceptable. You probably have a large library of good classical literature at home?
— We have been reading a lot since childhood.
- Then be calm. The boy already has the main vaccination against swearing.
The most important thing to know about swear words:
- swearing is always about the sexual;
- it is the language of war;
- it devalues culture.
Swear words performed by children are not harmless pampering. This is not only a way to defuse the situation with a sharp joke that everyone in the team will definitely laugh at.
At this age, as they often say, “hormones begin to play.” The teenager tries to figure out what is happening to him, and with strong words he can relieve internal tension. At school or in the yard, he hears abuse from his peers, and, on the one hand, it frightens, on the other, it calms. The teenager feels like he belongs to a group, which guarantees his safety. Gradually, swearing can become a habit.
At first, in this way a person will only express dissatisfaction. Then, since swearing and culture are incompatible, he will no longer use other words to express high feelings - joy, admiration, love. Swear words—used on the battlefield—are off-putting. The ability and ability to build pleasant relationships with people decreases significantly. Problems arise in couple relationships. There are several ways to stop using swear words:
- Change your leisure time, go to places of high culture - a local museum, theater. Society does not accept rudeness at such events, so you will have to control yourself or remain silent. Gradually, the person will even think differently, and the habit of expressing himself beautifully will appear.
- Think about the meaning of the words spoken: ask the child what he was talking about when he cursed, what did he really mean? Why shout to everyone around you about what you lack sexually?
- To find a girl, choose one who doesn’t swear herself and will definitely stop you from speaking rudely. It will be easier to get to know her by following step 1.
How to stop a teenager from swearing
It was my son's birthday and he invited his classmates. You then safely went fishing, and I stayed at home “on the edge,” sitting quietly in the next room. I could hear laughter and snatches of seditious phrases. Honestly, I could forgive this pampering and not pretend to be a strict mother. But she still took the set and went to the children’s room to pour tea. Firstly, my behavior should have sobered them up, and they would have stopped cursing. And secondly, I had a plan.
My appearance caused some confusion and everyone fell silent. Yeah, they still don’t express it in front of adults - that’s already good. But it didn't last long. Someone’s hand just trembled, spilling boiling water on the neighbor’s hands.
“E..,” he blurted out.
“It’s time,” I thought. And she began to explain to the children what they were talking about when they swear, remembering Svetlana’s advice.
“Checkmate is only needed in war. He is needed on the battlefield to protect himself from the enemy by killing him first. These words are lowered to the level of the animal, removing the cultural layer. When you fight in civilian life, you threaten each other. Yes, it’s clearer, it can even be funny and pleasant. But after such a conversation, you stand with your comrade not shoulder to shoulder, but sword to sword. Be prepared that after you “talk” to a friend using abusive language, he will not want to support you in difficult times and will not sympathize with your problems. And especially don’t expect this from your girlfriend.”
Both the scalded guy and the girl, whose fault it happened, blushed from the awkwardness of the situation. In the evening, the son asked: “Mom, does it turn out that if I say this in front of a girl, then I… threaten her too?.. Only in a different sense?” So that's why he actually wanted to quit the habit: our son fell in love. I told Svetlana about my first victory.
- Very happy about you. In psychology, each case is individual, but you were able to find an approach.
The most important thing: if a person swears, he feels bad. Your son now really needs support, that feeling of security that you can still provide him. It depends on the situation at home - is it calm and cozy there? It depends on the internal state of the parents - is it possible to share with you their problems, which become very numerous during adolescence, and sometimes cannot be solved by yourself. The best medicine is conversation. It just seems that the child will not listen, will not want to share. Understanding is important for anyone, but for a teenager it is vital.
You know your child better, so only you can find a way to help him.
If the information I've shared with you has truly brought about improvements, I suggest you look further into the issue to resolve it on your own.
Be a good example for children
Many people really don't know how to stop swearing. But they really want to do this, guided by the fact that they do not want their children to repeat swear words. In order not to “infect” the younger generation with your bad habit, you need to constantly monitor your own speech.
Under no circumstances should you swear in front of children.
After all, they very quickly absorb not only the good, but also the bad. Therefore, your main goal should be to establish complete control over your words. When you feel an irresistible urge to curse, try to switch your attention to something else.
You can do gymnastics at this moment. Physical exercise is considered one of the most effective ways to overcome aggression.
What else can you do?
For those who don’t know how to stop swearing, you can give one more valuable piece of advice. For everything to work out, you need to enlist the support of family or friends. It is advisable to ask someone who is constantly nearby to remind you of the need to be more restrained and control your speech.
For every swear word that comes out of your mouth, give yourself a painful slap on the wrist with a rubber band. As a result, after a short time, obscene language will become associated with pain and will forever leave your vocabulary.
If you believe most modern scientists, then in order to permanently eradicate any bad habit that has formed, it will take only 21 days. In some particularly advanced cases, this takes a little longer. But, one way or another, it is the first three weeks that are considered extremely important.
After all, according to experts, during this period the foundation is laid that allows you to gradually move towards your goal.
Throughout our lives, we often encounter people who use swear words in their everyday speech. A cultured person initially reacts to this calmly, although inside himself he is very indignant.
But we still really want to be surrounded by people who adhere to certain standards of decency in communication, especially when it comes to being around women and children. On the one hand, it seems that it is quite simple to restrain yourself from expressing rude emotions in verbal form, but on the other hand, many residents of our country never cease to ask themselves the same question: how to stop swearing?
How does it harm
There is no particular harm if a person is satisfied with his life and position in society. He swears, those around him swear, the girl can also afford to say whatever she wants. In general, there is no problem. It arises due to differences in communication culture:
- A typical example: a man wants to impress an educated, cultured woman. In order not to fall face down in the dirt and not be immediately eliminated, you need to learn to control yourself and get rid of parasitic words.
- Another life example is related to work. Swearing is not allowed when communicating with clients or public speaking. No one will be particularly surprised if a lumberjack or plumber bends the mat. If a teacher, doctor, or department head starts swearing, those around him will experience a mild shock.
READ The concept of storytelling and its purpose
If you need to get a prestigious job, find a cultured wife or husband, you need to get rid of swearing in your speech. It won’t be possible to do this in one day, but in a month it’s quite possible. The main thing is motivation and hard work on yourself.
Law against swearing
Swear words are unusually tenacious, like cockroaches, the unsuccessful fight against which lasts for millennia. Despite drastic measures aimed at combating them, their use has not decreased.
On July 1, 2014, a law came into force in Russia that prohibited the use of profanity in public places, in particular on television and radio, during the public performance of works of art and in film distribution. This process is controlled by Rospotrebnadzor, which imposes fines on offenders - both ordinary citizens and officials and legal entities.
But, as you know, it is the forbidden fruit that is sweet. “When something is prohibited, you want it even more,” “... the temptation is stronger, the stricter the ban,” wrote the classics. So it is unlikely that the amendments to the law “On the State Language”, designed to protect the population from swearing, will play a significant, or even any, role in the fight against foul language. Unless they will allow some replenishment of the treasury through fines.
The jokers proposed their own version of combating profanity, namely: replacing swear words and expressions with cultural ones that carry exactly the same semantic load.
Will the flowers of life not wilt?
ChS-INFO appealed to members of the Novosibirsk Coordination Council in defense of public morality, culture and traditional family values, who are actively fighting against the use of obscene language in public space. Many members of the organization turned out to have a very radical attitude towards swearing.
Retired Major General, veteran of the Armed Forces of the Russian Federation Ivan Voloshin is sure that swearing is, first of all, an indicator of mental poverty. “This is simply catastrophic poverty and ignorance of the Russian language, the inability to express the depth and greatness of the human soul,” he explained. And Andrei Lapkin even called swearing a prayer to the devil. “Public swearing from the stage is a real weapon that is designed to destroy the foundations of Russian society,” added Dmitry Vasiliev. “Everyone knows that wars are not fought only with a machine gun in your hand. It is possible to defeat a country by destroying education, mentality, culture, and traditions. And swearing is the strongest remedy. This is a window of opportunity for young people: today they see that they can publicly swear on stage, and tomorrow they will decide that they can beat someone on the street, and then, relatively speaking, betray their Motherland..."
Ivan Kvasnitsky, coordinator of the Club of Orthodox Large Families in Berdsk, considers the most serious problem to be the fact that schoolchildren have begun to swear. “Teenagers don’t even swear, they talk in it,” notes the social activist. - They no longer have any internal prohibition on this. It doesn't bother them. And even if you make a remark, they don’t shy away. It turns out that they believe that they are behaving correctly. It turns out that this is already becoming the norm. And literate speech is gradually being squeezed out of public space.”
The chairman of the Novosibirsk public organization Nadezhda Artemova adds: the worst thing is that society has stopped responding to swearing. “People publicly swear in public transport, in stores, in cultural institutions, but no one reacts to this! - she explains. “Previously, if a boy said such a word in public, and an adult heard it, he could be hit in the mouth.” And now society is not reacting at all. It's like this has become the norm. I recently heard a guy on the street talking about his mother in three-story obscenities! He didn’t even realize that he had publicly humiliated her in this way.” She also recalled that she saw young mothers using obscene language with their children.
“The silent and indifferent attitude of society towards this problem suggests that it has become not local, but national, and the authorities need to pay attention to it,” Nadezhda Artemova is sure. “That’s why the Novosibirsk Coordination Council opposes the scandalous concerts with foul language that are taking place throughout the country and tries to draw attention to this problem as a national one. Mass concerts of famous performers, tours, their performances at the largest public and private venues with the use of obscene language and powerful musical accompaniment have the most negative impact on the younger generation, who are certainly ready to imitate their idols. Concerts of foul-mouthed performers, posted on the Internet and accessible to minors, have a negative impact on the spiritual, moral and social behavior of boys and girls and encourage them to imitate this foul language.”
Sergei Shnurov at a concert. Photo from the musician’s Instagram
The Coordination Council has existed in Novosibirsk for six years, and one of its tasks is the fight for the purity of the Russian language. Including against public profanity. Social activists spoke out against obscene advertising, scandalous theatrical productions, and tours of a number of foreign groups. For example, thanks to the work of the Council, a concert by shock rocker Marilyn Manson was canceled in 2014. Activists also spoke out against some domestic rap artists, such as Eldzhey, whose songs are replete with obscenities and other obscenities.
But the story of the Coordination Council’s struggle with the performances of the Leningrad group by Sergei Shnurov, as well as with the musician’s videos posted on the Internet, is especially well known.
As a result of this struggle in Novosibirsk, the organizers of the Leningrad concert at the Sibir LDS were brought to justice twice. The company that organized the group’s tour received fines of about 40 thousand rubles. But the singer himself has not yet been punished for breaking the law. How to get his concerts canceled.
Help ES-INFO: Art. 6.26 Code of Administrative Offenses of the Russian Federation. 1. Organizing a public performance of a work of literature, art or folk art containing obscene language through a theatrical, entertainment, cultural, educational or entertainment event shall entail the imposition of an administrative fine on citizens in the amount of two thousand to two thousand five hundred rubles; for officials - from four thousand to five thousand rubles; for legal entities - from forty thousand to fifty thousand rubles.
But social activists are not giving up. Now activists are fighting for the leadership of the Novosibirsk region to prohibit the tenant of the Sibir Ice Palace (which is the Sibir hockey club) from subletting the premises of the ice palace for cultural events. According to activists, it is strange that an institution that is supported by taxpayers' money and is state property is used to hold concerts where the law is violated. And if it is unlikely that it will be possible to cancel the next performance of Sergei Shnurov (which will take place in October), then perhaps it will be possible to prevent his further tours at the state venue.