How to learn to be happy: simple tips

Make yourself happy no matter what

The state of happiness is a sense of self. And it doesn’t matter what happened and is happening in your life, what matters is how you feel about it. It is your reaction, your emotions that evaluate what is happening either in a positive way, or unsettle you, forcing you to become numb and plunge into prolonged hopelessness.

The feeling of happiness and positive attitude can be blocked:

• internal fears;
• negative experiences, which make up the lion's share of the memories involved;
• analysis of other people's assessments;
• desire to meet other people's standards;
• high expectations;
• separation from reality;
• resentment and envy.

How to get rid of negativity? How to stay happy no matter what? How to learn to react correctly to difficulties occurring in life?

It turns out there are ways. But in order for them to work, you need to train regularly - to rejoice, let go of problems, and live to the fullest. And do all this sincerely, with pleasure.

What is happiness?

Happiness is a state of a person when he experiences positive emotions, including joy, pride, pleasure, gratitude. In other words, happiness is a feeling of satisfaction with life.

Any positive emotion can be a source of happiness - from riding a roller coaster to the birth of a child. It depends on the values, interests, desires of the person. Therefore, there is no universal definition of happiness. But most often it is the result of good physical and mental (mental) health, which depends on a person’s behavior and lifestyle. This confirms the popular expression of the American journalist John Leland: “Happiness is a choice you make.”

Tip one: look for the positive in everything!

Every problem or situation can be looked at from different angles. You can see light or darkness, a dead end or new horizons. Learn to look for the positive sides in everything and focus on them.

If you break a vase, it’s time to buy a new one!

We gained weight, but we allowed ourselves the treats that we wanted so much, and now we definitely have a reason to force ourselves to go to workouts or take long walks with the dog!

You're on vacation, but the weather has turned hopelessly bad?! Nothing of the kind - just an opportunity to spend time in a completely non-trivial way: instead of the beach - excursions or amazing books, performances, concerts. Instead of hot open-air parties - healthy, cool and much-needed sound sleep.

Tip two: live in the present

Learn to live “here and now.” Don’t wait for tomorrow, don’t put off life until later, enjoy every moment of your life:

• The past is already gone irrevocably, and along with it, what happened to you is gone. Don't live in memories.
• The future has not yet come, there is no point in thinking about what does not exist and may never exist. Don't live in expectations and illusions.

What to do in this present? Of course, rejoice and be realistic! Surprisingly, it is easier for the average person to find a reason for dissatisfaction and throw out negativity than to share a good mood.

If you go outside right now, you will probably notice a grumpy passerby, a mother on the playground scolding her child for an offense, a dissatisfied customer or salesperson in a store. But you will have to look for smiling, laughing and positive-minded passers-by. And all because the ability to rejoice, to find the slightest reasons for a smile and a roaring laugh is a trait of happy people.

Important

Practice smiling. Start by smiling at your reflection, remember your facial expression - relaxed, at ease. Close your eyes, remember a pleasant or just funny, sweet moment from your life. Smile and try to linger on this positive, during the day try to remember this moment and your smile as often as possible. Smile at least within your thoughts and very soon it will not be difficult for you to smile just like that - at the sun, blinding your eyes, at a neighbor passing by, at pigeons cooing in the park.

A smile has the wonderful property of attracting positivity and goodness. And they, in turn, give us a feeling of happiness. Why is this happening? Because a smiling person does not evoke negative emotions, he neutralizes aggression and rudeness, thereby reducing the level of negativity around him. And where there is a minimum of negativity, a chain reaction of kindness and courtesy is triggered.

Of course, life does not consist only of positive things. Once you learn to notice and focus on the good, you need to remain realistic. Realists, when faced with difficulties, perceive them as a challenge, a kind of game of overcoming an obstacle. But there is no negative connotation in this game, because its outcome is either victory or the experience of overcoming, with the opportunity to correct failures, get new chances, and explore new horizons of your abilities.

To be a realist means to be able to resist, recover, without losing composure and level of self-esteem.

What prevents you from being happy?

Unfortunately, there are many factors that are deeply rooted in a person's mind and prevent him from becoming happy, including:

• Fear , which is confirmed by the words of the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca, “Where there is fear, there is no happiness.” Fear has the ability to control life. It prevents you from doing not only dangerous, but also successful things. In the modern world, there is a fear of happiness, or sherophobia, a condition when people deliberately avoid actions that evoke positive emotions. Psychologists believe that one of the reasons for sherophobia is the belief that happiness is fleeting and leads to negative events. If you overcome your fears, you can start living a happy life.
• Negative thoughts. A person controls his own thoughts. If negative thoughts prevail over positive ones, he cannot be happy. The statement in your head “I will never be successful” will lead to uncertainty and low self-esteem. When a negative thought appears, you need to replace it with a positive one: from “This is impossible” to “I’ll try” and so on.
• Past mistakes. Everyone has a past. It can be filled with good experiences or mistakes that spoil the present and future. People often continue to live in despair or bitterness over mistakes because they cannot let go of the baggage of the past. Only by letting go of the past can you make life easier, enjoy the present moment and allow yourself to be happy. Looking back, you'll be glad you did it.
• Other people's dreams. Many people live the dreams of others - parents, friends, acquaintances. They are so busy trying to make other people's dreams come true that they don't live their own lives. They don't know what they want, what they need. There is only one life and you must live it on your terms. Stop living other people's dreams and find something that makes you happy.
• Waiting for the approval of others. All people want to be loved, but some people constantly try to please others in order to meet their expectations. You will never please everyone because everyone has different ideals. Instead, focus on what makes you happy.
• Comparing yourself with others. People often compare themselves to others, which is their fatal mistake. There will always be someone smarter and more successful than you. But you have your merits. Instead of watching other people's lives, it is better to focus on yourself and develop your strengths. Give up the desire to impress others and you will be much happier.

Tip three: make a holiday

No matter how you move through life towards happiness, sooner or later you get tired. There comes a time when you need a reboot. The optimal conditions for this are to organize your own holiday.

And it needs to start from a stop. From a pause. Exhale. And then take a deep breath and decide what you need to be happy at this particular moment. Peace? Unbridled joy? Pleasure? Shopping? Or maybe just “ritually cry” with a bucket of ice cream while watching the most “snotty” melodrama?

Whatever your needs, immediately begin to implement them at the next appropriate moment. And don’t forget to plunge into the pleasure entirely, feel it with every fiber of your soul! Savor every moment!

Tip four: away with despair and despondency!

You have no idea how many negative emotions stand in the way of your inner harmony:

• grievances;
• envy;
• jealousy;
• self-interest;
• fears;
• disappointments;
• anger.

In order to “hang” in the positive, you need to be able to let go of the negative. To begin with, it is important to understand that experiencing negative emotions is not only normal, but also useful. The emotions that block our happiness are that part of the negativity that you did not experience, but kept to yourself. This means that you did not process this emotion, did not benefit from it, did not complete it and therefore did not feel a sense of relief, a feeling of liberation.

Any emotion needs to be recognized (the reasons for its appearance and how it affects you), experienced and released. For example, fear is inaction to avoid disastrous consequences. And that's great! This is self-preservation. Did you feel it? And now, we move on, we overcome - we put all the failures on the shelves. For each, we look for alternative solutions, noting the potential benefits that can be derived from the situation. Having dealt with the consequences in detail, it turns out that fear is not so paralyzing, you can let it go if by this time it itself will not let you go.

This practice of letting go of negativity can be applied to any emotion. There is no need to stay in it - experience it: cry, swear, tremble, scream, and then look at everything from the outside, through the eyes of an observer, understand the causes and consequences, learn a lesson and switch to the positive.

Agree, it is much more pleasant to “savor” the joy of overcoming than to constantly “replay” troubles within yourself.

What influences the feeling of happiness

• Values. Each of us has a certain set of significant values ​​(“to love and be loved”, “family”, “interesting work”, “freedom”, “constant development”, etc.), and if they are present in our life, then the feeling of happiness does not leave us.
• Achieving your goals. Some people have simple and quickly achievable goals, while others have ambitious goals that require a lot of effort. But one way or another, the main criterion of happiness here is the result obtained.
• Satisfying needs. The key is to satisfy precisely those needs that a person puts at the forefront. You can be a hungry artist, but if the most important thing for him is recognition or self-expression and this is realized, then he is likely to experience happiness. But if the most significant needs regularly remain unsatisfied, then the person is unhappy.
• Self-esteem. If we are satisfied with ourselves and adequately evaluate ourselves, then we become more confident and feel inner harmony. If we are not at peace with ourselves, we are constantly engaged in self-digging, then we cannot feel completely happy.
• Health. Health problems always affect the feeling of happiness to a greater or lesser extent. Therefore, it is important to be attentive to your condition in order to be able to prevent serious violations in time.

Tip five: learn to give and receive

These are the only two skills that truly make us rich. Give your love, attention, time, strength, care - everything you have. Kindness, politeness, the ability to listen and hear generate positive energy, which tends to return and multiply.

By giving kindness to someone else, you automatically charge him with positivity, which he transmits further, including in response to you. But in addition to this “response of kindness,” you are likely to receive kindness from other sources, the root cause of which was yourself.

And here, you need to be able to accept with gratitude, in full. Because by accepting with gratitude and joy, you return good for good, you make happier the one who wants to make you happier.

How to learn to be a happy woman?

Women are multifaceted and psychologically very complex. The influence of hormones also plays an important role. In a whirlwind of worries and anxieties, they rarely remember to stop and enjoy the moment.

A great way to maintain inner harmony is meditation. It is very important for finding inner peace. Women who have discovered oriental practices once can no longer refuse them. Meditation not only fills the body with energy, but also gives peace of mind to the mind.

However, the main requirement for women who want to learn to live happily is self-acceptance. Love your body, your mind, your personality traits. Love just like that. Simply because you exist and you are unique. Never compare others to yourself, because we are all so different. Unconditional and causeless self-love is the basis of human personality.

Self-esteem is another essential aspect of happiness. A person is born with self-esteem, but as he grows up, the attitude of other people makes him doubt himself. Developing self-esteem is not just useful - it is necessary for every woman.

Tip six: learn to think correctly

Remember, all thoughts are material, we ourselves shape our future.

• Get involved and learn.
• Set small goals and celebrate when you achieve them.
• Consider every achievement as an experience and a stepping stone towards a greater goal.
• Bring everything you start to completion.
• Dream for the sake of dreaming.
• Think life-affirmingly: “I can do it!”, “I’ll definitely try again,” “I’m worthy of this,” “I’m happy with myself,” “I want and I can.”

Important

Learn to think constructively and in a positive way. No negative or destructive thoughts.

Which thought forms sound more life-affirming?

What influences happiness

1. Achievements of goals. Some people set themselves easy goals, which they quickly achieve without spending much effort, while others set ambitious goals, which take a lot of time and effort to complete. However, the main criterion is the result obtained, the goal translated into reality.
2. Values. Each person values ​​something different, some want to love and receive reciprocal feelings, family is important to some, freedom is important to others, and others need regular development.
3. Self-esteem. How we evaluate ourselves has a big impact. A person who has a normal level of self-esteem, self-confidence, feels inner harmony. An individual who regularly engages in self-flagellation will never become absolutely happy.
4. Satisfying needs. It is important to consider not all needs, but the most important, priority ones. So, for example, an artist can be hungry, but at the same time he has the opportunity to self-realize, receive recognition even from a small audience of people, and this is enough for him. If the main need remains unsatisfied, happiness will not be seen.
5. Health. Poor health negatively affects the feeling of joy. A person cannot say that he is happy if physiological disturbances and malfunctions occur in the body.

Tip seven: accept yourself

There is very little left for happiness - to find yourself, self-sufficient and conscious. Love your body, face, your soul. Take care of yourself. Take care of your health. Be neat. Improve yourself, decorate yourself with new knowledge and achievements. Read books, communicate with interesting people, watch films and plays.

If you have a need for external changes, get started! Play sports, experiment with style, delight yourself with new things, hairstyles, looks. Do whatever helps you like yourself, feel better and stronger.

Use each of the previous tips until you are firmly convinced that you are worthy of love and happiness. And let the list of those who love you certainly begin with yourself. And even if you are the only one on this list, believe me, simply because everything has its time. Unlike happiness, because it’s never too late or too early to feel happiness - it’s always just right. Be happy!

How to become happy?

While happiness looks different for each person, it is only through searching that we can find what is right for us. To help you start your journey, here are 15 ways to become happier:

1. Think positively. It is impossible to live without problems, but your attitude towards them is important. Positive thinking helps to cope with difficulties, in which a person remembers that bad events are temporary and provide an opportunity to learn and grow. So always focus on the good things and try not to focus on the negative.
2. Celebrate achievements and spend time on hobbies. Recognize your successes to be proud of yourself and see progress that motivates you to move forward and achieve new goals. Do what you love for fun. Hobbies help you cope with stress, create a social circle and make life more interesting. Develop and learn new skills in hobbies and professions to enjoy your work.
3. Express gratitude. Learning to appreciate accomplishments big and small has a positive impact on your life. Give thanks for blessings every day to improve your mood and attract positivity.
4. Forgive insults. You may hold grudges against people who have caused you pain. But the main thing is to understand that resentment is a mental trauma that causes harm to you, since you store unpleasant, painful memories. Don't get caught up in anger and the desire for revenge. The way to free yourself from this pain is forgiveness. You can forgive the offender in your heart without engaging in conversation with him. Research has shown that letting go of grievances improves well-being, reduces anxiety, and strengthens the immune system.
5. Let go of what is out of your control. Ask yourself what you can change in a particular situation. If it is possible to solve the problem, make an effort and do it, otherwise just let it go.
6. Be surrounded by positive people. Spend time with like-minded people who support, inspire, lift your spirits and believe in you. Limit or stop communicating with people who upset you and cause bad emotions. Being around the people you love makes you happier. A study by American scientists found that hugging releases a beneficial chemical called serotonin in the body, lowering blood pressure and heart rate, making you more relaxed.
7. Get a pet. Pets help relieve depression. If you are ready to be responsible for an animal, your four-legged friend will become a member of the family and bring many smiles and laughter. A pet's love in response to care can make everyone happy.
8. Eat a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Physical health is closely related to a person’s emotional state. Eating a large amount of fruits and vegetables, containing many useful substances (vitamins, minerals), improves appearance, improves mood and productivity. To maintain good health, you need daily healthy sleep of 8-9 hours.
9. Exercise. Regular exercise is good for the body and mind. Physical activity stimulates the production of energy and happiness hormones “endorphins”, which improve well-being, self-esteem, and quality of sleep. Adults are recommended to engage in various physical activities (walking, running, cycling, dancing, etc.) for at least 3 hours a week. Yoga and meditation are suitable for relieving stress, helping to relax the muscles.
10. Get moving, spend time outdoors. Movement is life. Get outside, as being in the fresh air relieves stress, relaxes you, while oxygen adds energy. The mood is lifted by sunlight, under the influence of which the body produces vitamin D. People lacking this vitamin are more prone to depression, anxiety, and fatigue.
11. Set goals. According to psychologists, people who set goals—short-term or long-term—are happier than people without goals. Neuroscientist Richard Davidson discovered that working toward a goal not only activates positive feelings, but also suppresses negative emotions. Goals motivate people to move forward.
12. Plan pleasant events. Plan a vacation or a pleasant anticipated event. A reminder of an upcoming trip, concert, sporting event or meeting with friends lifts your mood in any environment. Good experiences bring happiness.
13. Cultivate kindness in yourself, help others. Research shows that acts of kindness contribute to your well-being. Kindness and helping other people and animals gives a feeling of warmth. Charity, community service or other ways of helping make you happier.
14. Smile more often. A sincere smile is a symbol of happiness. Think about what makes you laugh. When you smile, your brain releases serotonin, which lifts your mood. Learn to smile when you look at your reflection in the mirror. Positivity will fill your life with happiness.
15. Enjoy simple things. Learn to enjoy the little things, as true happiness is based on spiritual values ​​and lies in simple things. The presence of a loved one, friends, family nearby is already a happy, unique moment. Some people chase material things (a car, a house, shoes, etc.), mistakenly believing that they will make them truly happy. But rich people don't report higher levels of happiness. Therefore, you need to appreciate what you have.