What does guest marriage mean?
Guest (extraterritorial) marriage is an officially registered relationship between a man and a woman that does not imply living together and running a household.
Spouses can, if desired and agreed upon, spend their free time together and go on vacation. The birth and raising of children in a guest marriage is not uncommon. In this case, younger children usually live with their mother, while older children do so if they wish.
estranged marriage retains the acuteness of feelings for a long time
Guest marriage as an alternative to divorce
Guest marriage is an alternative to divorce. Sometimes, many contradictions leading to divorce can be resolved through a guest marriage. Example: a woman is tired of managing her life on her own, a man does not appreciate her work, rarely helps, and does not believe that there are any difficulties in running a household. Separate living is useful in that it eliminates this problem; spouses look at their union without taking into account annoying topics. The man begins to realize all the difficulties of running a daily life, the woman rests. The intensity of the situation drops, allowing the partners to constructively assess the situation and come to a final decision.
The second option is a gradual separation. The couple understands that further life together is impossible, but they do not have the strength to make the final decision to break up. The couple decide to try to live separately from each other, meeting periodically. That is, they have the opportunity to meet when they are bored, but at the same time they have the opportunity to wean themselves from living together. Over time, it becomes clear what one is more drawn to: the resumption of family life or a final break.
Guest marriage: psychology
Why do men and women who love each other refuse to live together and choose, in their opinion, a convenient guest marriage?
Spouses who:
- cannot tolerate each other in everyday life, they constantly quarrel over little things
- build a career in different cities or countries
- have negative experiences of living together in the past and are afraid of repeating the situation in a new marriage
- want to prolong romantic feelings and freshness of relationships
- have no desire to adapt to the other spouse, violating their own personal space
- have creative professions (artists, painters, writers, directors)
The most famous guest marriage of creative people is the union of actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton. The couple have been living in neighboring houses for many years and are very happy with their situation.
Guest marriage: psychology
Why do people choose guest marriage?
They value their comfort and do not want to give it up
This applies to money, everyday life, and the established rhythm of life. A person is completely satisfied with the way he lives: his apartment, his income, his job, how he spends his free time. And he doesn't want to change anything. But at the same time he wants a permanent and monogamous relationship with a reliable and congenial partner.
They don't want to rub shoulders with another person
For example, tolerate his mood swings. Consider his habits and schedule. Coordinate your plans with him.
They need a lot of personal space
If people live in the same house, they meet every evening and spend at least a couple of hours together. For some, this is not enough and they want to be with their loved one even longer. But there are also those who need solitude, rest and peace. Or, on the contrary, he leads an active social life: he goes to courses, meets with friends, plays sports and various hobbies. And in this life there is not much room left for a permanent partner.
They live in several cities
Or even countries. It may be that people are building successful careers in different locations and none of them plans to sacrifice this career. But at the same time, both want to be a couple - and consciously choose to live separately and rarely meet when their schedules coincide.
Larisa
Guest marriage for 2 years.
I was officially married for almost 20 years. Everything is traditional: engagement, wedding, shared apartment, children. After the divorce, I couldn’t find the right person for a long time and had already gotten used to the idea that I would grow old alone. And then I met a man who I liked. We realized pretty quickly that we both were fine and we wanted to move forward through life together.
But here’s the catch: I’ve already forgotten what it’s like to live with another person, to let him into my life and my home, to get used to him. I’ve been living alone for a long time, and I like it: it’s nice, calm, everything around is clean, all my things are exactly the way I put them. And I realized that I absolutely did not want to change these and many other habits of mine, to tolerate another person next to me with all his characteristics, shortcomings, sounds, smells.
I plucked up my courage and expressed these thoughts to my man. To my great happiness, he understood everything and, as it turned out, held almost the same views. That's why we got married, but decided that we would each live at our own place. And we are completely satisfied with this format. We meet 2-3 times a week, sometimes we go to each other’s houses, sometimes to the cinema, restaurant or theater. We support each other if necessary, talk a lot, come to the rescue. At the same time, we have a separate budget, and in other matters - such as everyday life, habits, leisure - we also try not to interfere with each other and not impose anything.
It may even seem that this is the ideal form of relationship. But there are also pitfalls.
Take note
