Melancholic: who is he, pros and cons

Who is a melancholic person?

People with a melancholic type of temperament are often talented and extraordinary individuals. They are characterized by free-thinking, inventiveness and developed creative abilities. At the same time, they tend to perceive external events more negatively than those with other temperaments. They are vulnerable and impressionable, often worry about trifles, wasting energy and depleting their psyche.

Melancholic people, like choleric people, are prone to sudden emotional outbursts, but at the same time try to restrain their emotions. After such a splash, they quickly cool down. Hippocrates believed that the tendency to negative experiences in these people is determined by the dominance of “black bile” in their body. In the medicine of that time it was believed that this liquid was a source of fear and sadness.

Melancholic people rarely have quarrels and tantrums; it is easier for them to keep the negativity inside. They repeatedly think about unpleasant situations, subjecting themselves to torture with negative experiences. As a result, they hold old grievances in their memory for a long time.

People with a melancholic type of temperament often conduct an internal dialogue, rethink bad decisions, and think about how mistakes could have been avoided. Thanks to constant self-examination, they have powerful creative potential and often become outstanding personalities. Famous melancholics included Rene Descartes, Charles Darwin, Nikolai Gogol, Frederic Chopin and Pyotr Tchaikovsky.

Characteristics of a melancholic person

Determining that a melancholic person is in front of you is quite simple. He is usually distinguished by a quiet voice, inexpressive and weak facial expressions and gestures. Such people do not particularly like to talk with others; they are often immersed in their own thoughts. Despite their very high sensitivity and vulnerability, melancholic people rarely show their emotions in public.

If a melancholic person is having a conversation with someone, then he really likes to argue, showing stubbornness. However, his arguments are valid. This is not surprising, since they, like phlegmatic people, are characterized by a tendency to analysis and detailed study of the subject; They also tend to plan their actions in advance. The melancholic person strives to take into account all the nuances in his future actions in order to avoid any surprises. Abrupt changes in the situation, unexpected turns of events confuse them, so they try to avoid it. Unpredictability can make them feel anxious and even lead to panic.

Melancholic people are not very fond of active actions; they get tired of them faster and more often than those with other temperaments. Instead of walking, attending noisy gatherings, parties, they prefer to spend time reading books or on the computer, or creative activities.

If a man is melancholic, then he usually has good manners, carefully monitors his appearance, and behaves politely with the opposite sex. He is ready to guard and protect his beloved from any adversity. Such a man likes to plan his affairs and be sure to implement what he has planned. If he gave his word, he will certainly fulfill it. A melancholic man has an enviable constancy of character and is not inclined to change his mood abruptly.

At the same time, such men are characterized by anxiety and pessimistic attitudes. He often has severely low self-esteem, although you can’t tell by his appearance. Such men are often lonely because they have a very subtle mental organization that many women are unable to understand. The best partner for him will be a refined nature who is able to understand his character and accept him for who he is.

Much of what has been said is also true for a melancholic woman. She is prone to contemplation and thoughtfulness, and can sit idle for hours. Such a woman cannot stand arguments, scandals, conflicts; even a small disagreement can put her in a sad mood.

A melancholic woman does not often go to parties. And just as rarely does she make new friends; In general, she has few friends and acquaintances. At the same time, she maintains very warm relationships with old friends that will be permanent or at least very long. This reflects her penchant for constancy in her relationships with others.

Such a woman suffers from self-doubt, she seems unattractive to herself, and goes too deep into introspection. Even if feelings overwhelm her, she cannot talk about them so easily. Manifestations of emotions, including positive ones, take too much energy from such a woman, and soon they want to relax and retire.

A melancholic woman tends to be idealistic, including in relation to men. She wants to receive only the most ideal from life; and a real man in her mind must be brave, decisive, strong. If she does not find such an ideal in life, then she may become completely disappointed in men and for a long time after that not think about relationships at all. As a rule, such a woman likes it when a man is the head of the family. Such women have a serious attitude towards family and marriage, they are good housewives and faithful wives. Like men of the same temperament, such women prefer creative work.

Professions such as poet, artist, musician, analyst, and psychologist are more common for melancholic people.

A child with a melancholic temperament is quiet and kind. He prefers to spend time with his family and close friends whom he can completely trust. If such a child meets a stranger, he may get scared, cry, run away, and treat strangers with distrust, although there may be no reason for this.

Such a child is very impressionable and at the same time obedient. He easily obeys adults or older peers, which can lead to him becoming dependent on others in the future.

A melancholic child does not like to enter into conflicts; he avoids all kinds of disagreements; Therefore, he doesn't really like to play or do anything else in a company, he prefers to do things alone. He most likes creative activities - drawing, music, reading, etc.

You need to talk to such a child calmly and kindly, carefully explain to him what he did wrong, and in no case should you scold him, blame him, or speak to him in a raised voice. In a calm environment, he will understand well what is being said to him, otherwise he may not understand anything at all.

How did the term come about?

To begin with, it is worth remembering that there are four types of temperament: choleric, sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic. Hippocrates believed that the main factors of human health are his vital fluids: “chole” (bile), “sangua” (blood), “phlegm” (lymph) and “melena chole” (black bile). For each person, one of the listed substances is the main one and completely determines his character. It is not difficult to guess that the ancient Greek physician considered “black bile” to be the dominant liquid of a melancholic person.

Description of temperament

People with the predominant melancholic type of temperament have a weak nervous system, it is difficult for them to cope with high workload, their psyche is extremely sensitive and vulnerable. Such individuals are characterized by increased anxiety, thoughtfulness, and a negative attitude towards change. Representatives of this type close themselves in a kind of cocoon; they value their everyday life very much and try not to change their habits. You can recognize a melancholic person by their unexpressed facial expressions and quiet voice; they do not tend to often show strong emotions. Such people are self-absorbed, thoughtful, stubborn, and prone to deep analysis.

How to recognize a melancholic person?

Melancholic temperament is well felt in communication. Its owner is usually very touchy. When communicating with him, you will involuntarily begin to monitor his words more carefully, noticing how he reacts to careless statements. When communicating with a melancholic person, one feels withdrawn and some inner sadness , as if he is constantly worried about something.

Usually melancholic people show noticeable creative potential. Their notebooks, notebooks and notebooks always contain drawings and sketches. Sometimes they enroll in a creative circle, but on the condition that there will be a small number of similarly reserved people. They do not like to be in the spotlight and studiously avoid large companies.

Some researchers believe that melancholic people can be recognized by their characteristic appearance features: fragile physique, long thin limbs, flat back and chest. But any person who leads a sedentary lifestyle and limits their diet fits this description. Therefore, appearance cannot be considered an objective factor when determining a personality type, but it can be used as a hint.

Positive aspects of a melancholic person

The main advantages of a melancholic person include:

Creative skills

These people are characterized by a colorful imagination and developed creative thinking. They also have an excellent sense of beauty and are able to notice which aspects of beauty best touch the strings of the human soul. Many of the outstanding artists, writers, composers, sculptors and representatives of other creative professions had a melancholic type of temperament. Aristotle even believed that all outstanding personalities were melancholic.

Tendency to comprehend

A melancholic person constantly thinks. He thinks about whether he did the right thing, what the consequences might be, and how he could have done better. He thinks through his future actions no less carefully. Melancholic people always have enough situations to think about. Therefore, they look for ways to distract themselves from these thoughts: they read a lot, do crosswords, and solve puzzles. This develops their intelligence and analytical skills.

Empathy

Melancholic people attach great importance to feelings - both their own and those of others. They are always ready to listen and support a loved one, while other people's experiences make a strong impression on them. People with a melancholic type of temperament tend to help everyone in need. They are ready to help a stranger for free, participate in charity events, and feed homeless animals.

Psychologist skills

Usually a couple of hours of communication is enough for a melancholic person to create a complete psychological portrait of the interlocutor. He understands people well, notices and identifies other people's emotions well. When communicating with him, do not pretend to be someone you are not - they will immediately see through you. Psychologist skills help such people well in business and relationships.

What types of temperament are there?

This division was first made in the 2nd century by the ancient Roman physician, surgeon and philosopher Claudius Galen, who made a huge contribution to anatomy and psychology. Let's analyze each temperament and give a detailed description.

– Choleric

These people behave like a volcano. Cholerics can often be short-tempered and irritable. It is quite difficult for them to control their emotions, since for any reason, even the smallest, they can explode. Usually they are very proactive and energetic people, with great zeal they perform any work, but only that which they like.

Because routine and monotonous work quickly tires them, as a result of which they lose at least some interest in it and become unproductive. It is worth noting that choleric people tend not to complete assigned tasks. This may greatly interfere with their ability to build a career in “office jobs,” but they can excel in creative professions—such as artists, musicians, etc.

– Sanguine

This personality type is characterized by a balanced nervous system. Such people love to come into contact with others and can easily adapt to new environmental conditions. They are often the center of everyone's attention in companies; they are called the “soul of the company.” They are distinguished by expressive facial expressions and pantomime. Sanguine people, like choleric people, are emotional, but their feelings are not so deep and pass quickly.

Moreover, sanguine people are constantly in a good mood. Their distinguishing feature from choleric people is greater self-control and patience. They are very productive at work, but the most significant success can be achieved from them when the process itself captivates them. Since they are more impatient and inattentive, only a job they like deprives them of these shortcomings.

– Phlegmatic

This type is the most balanced of all. It is very difficult to anger or infuriate such a person, and if you succeed, they quickly calm down and come to their senses. Phlegmatic people hardly react to psycho-emotional shocks and do not know how to sincerely rejoice or empathize. They have low self-esteem and often underestimate their own achievements in the face of others.

– Melancholic

These are exactly the people with whom it is difficult to find a common language, and to communicate in general. Melancholic people, unlike phlegmatic people, are very vulnerable. They are characterized by quiet speech, timidity, retardation of movements, and hyperbolism. Also, probably the biggest drawback of melancholic people is a tendency to suicidal thoughts and actions.

There are cases when melancholic people, unable to cope with difficulties, committed suicide. It is difficult for such people to climb the career ladder. Since any stress, be it a remark from the director or the tension of the work process, can put a lot of pressure on a sensitive person and lead him to a nervous breakdown.

Disadvantages of a melancholic person

In addition to the above advantages, melancholic people also have a number of disadvantages, which include the following:

Vulnerability

If we talk about who a melancholic person is, then vulnerability is the main thing worth talking about. He tends to be sad for any reason. He can be offended by a careless joke, which he will take too seriously. Such a person can be hurt by any phrase or action that does not meet his expectations.

Touchiness

People with this type of temperament can be offended by every little thing. At the same time, they accumulate grievances and keep them in their memory for years, regularly rethinking and “twisting” themselves. Fortunately, revenge rarely comes to pass. But they retain the negative in their memories with such persistence that it may seem as if it gives them pleasure.

Need for approval

The melancholic type of temperament is almost always accompanied by low self-esteem. Such people are sensitive to constructive criticism and often become depressed because of it. But any praise makes them blossom.

Perfectionism

A melancholic person always strives for the ideal and is very upset when he realizes that the ideal is unattainable. He is critical of the quality of work, so he often overestimates his demands on himself and criticizes others. Read more about who a perfectionist is in this article.

Disadvantages of a choleric person

The main disadvantages of a choleric person include:

• Excessive haste in your actions and actions;
• Cholerics are not patient;
• Excessive impulsiveness and imbalance;
• Excessive straightforwardness and harshness when communicating with other people;
• Aggression that occurs periodically;

Psychologists recommend that choleric people learn to work on themselves. This work should include the ability to control oneself in any conflict situations. Often choleric people make rash decisions and literally throw themselves into the deep end

The ten second tactic suits them, which means that before making an important decision or expressing an opinion, you need to mentally count to ten

Relationships with a melancholic person

A big advantage of melancholic personalities is their tendency towards monogamy. Having fallen in love, they constantly think about their loved one, think about joint plans, scroll through various emotional situations in their heads, which is why the person is “imprinted” in their memory forever. Any breakup of a relationship is incredibly difficult for a melancholic person - it is difficult for him to let go of a person, even if the love has long passed.

These people are usually very loyal and expect this to be reciprocated. In relationships, they need emotional intimacy and constant confirmation of feelings. The candy-bouquet period ends one day, and for most people this is just a new stage of relationships - more stable and serious. For a melancholic person, this is simply a tragedy; it seems to him that the relationship is falling apart at the seams.

A well-known feature of people with this type of temperament is that they can get offended just like that - if they had a bad dream or in their own fantasies they came up with a detailed scenario for a quarrel.

Characteristic features of melancholic people in relationships:

• Romance
  . They value every action, although they react carefully and often hide their emotions.
• Far-fetched fears
  . They tend to constantly worry and suspect their partner of dishonesty.
• Passionarity
  . This is an important feature that is often forgotten to mention when telling who a melancholic person is. He always tries to please his partner, often ignoring his own interests.
• Affection
  . They always make an effort to maintain the relationship. Even when feelings cool down, they maintain a strong attachment to their partner.
• Addiction
  . As a couple, they try to choose a strong personality in order to feel calm under her protection.
• Consistency
  . A melancholic person views any relationship as permanent and does not agree to small affairs.

A melancholic person is usually very demanding of his own children, but shows “softness.” He worries if the child started walking late, spoke or learned to read. Usually melancholic parents reproach their children for bad grades, but do not tolerate children's tears well, so they always indulge their whims and strive to please their child.

Melancholic child.

The Melancholic temperament type manifests itself in a child in the same way as in adults, but brighter. Melancholic children are insecure individuals prone to fuss. They communicate slowly, trying to emphasize every word spoken. They will support the conversation, but will not initiate it.

Putting a child with a melancholy character to bed is problematic, but he will fall asleep quickly. The awakening process is immediate. They are extremely careful in their actions; they can rarely return after a walk with an injury, bruise or scratch.

Advantages of a child's character:

• Empathy for loved ones and others;
• Impressionability;
• Ability to think, analyze and fantasize;
• Sensitivity.

Minuses:

• Shyness;
• Indecision in action;
• Closedness;
• timidity;
• Increased anxiety;
• Vulnerability.

Learning.

During the learning process, a child with a melancholic type quickly gets tired due to constant tension. When speaking in public, they can get confused, forgetting the material that they have been studying for a long time.

In society.

A child has very few true friends. Despite this, he values ​​friendly relations. He will never become a leader, but he will earn authority among most children.

He tries to avoid large crowds of children; his company will be limited to a few individuals whom he trusts 100%, where the child feels emotionally liberated. In unfamiliar company he prefers to remain alone.

Features of education.

By showing love, care, affection and kindness, a child with a melancholic type will grow up without complexes and adapted to life in society. The main thing is to rely more on eliminating poor self-esteem when raising children. Try to develop self-confidence in him. To do this, psychologists recommend the following to parents:

• Praise and encourage the baby even for small things;
• Do not frighten, but rather develop cognitive interest in everything;
• Encourage in all endeavors.

Compatibility with other temperament types

Now let's look at the compatibility of melancholic with other types of temperament according to Hippocrates:

1. Sanguine
   . Personal relationships in this combination work out well. Sanguine and melancholic people make excellent friends, and romantic relationships almost always lead to a stable and happy marriage. But it is not always possible for these two types to work well together, since their pace of work is noticeably different.
2. Phlegmatic
   . In professional relationships, these two types demonstrate excellent compatibility. In personal relationships, a melancholic person often worries about the external calm of a phlegmatic person, but over time he gets used to it, so such a union can turn out successfully. These types rarely become friends, because they are boring to each other, but they can maintain good companionship.
3. Melancholic
   . Despite excellent mutual understanding, romantic relationships between two melancholic people rarely work out successfully. They are constantly afraid of offending each other. Everyone hushes up problems, suffers and accumulates negativity, and the result is a breakup that is extremely painful for both. But melancholic personalities combine well in friendship and work - where mutual understanding is important and there is no reason to accumulate grievances.
4. Choleric
   . Perhaps this is the worst option for a melancholic person. These individuals usually irritate each other, one with slowness, the other with hyperactivity and tactlessness. Therefore, both friendly and long-term romantic relationships between them are practically impossible. Although a short romance can be stormy and enjoyable for both.

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Pros and cons of melancholic people

The melancholic temperament has many advantages. Representatives of this type know how to listen, delve into problems and give good advice. They strive for excellence, are responsible and empathetic. They have few friends, but those who do have can count on any help.

It is easy to identify the strengths of a melancholic person that distinguish him from other people:

• ability to think outside the box;
• increased sensitivity;
• high intelligence;
• ability to analyze;
• constancy in love;
• respect for parents;
• loyalty in friendship.

The weaknesses of a melancholic person rarely affect others.

Most often, shortcomings only harm him:

• difficulties in communication, isolation;
• shyness, poor self-esteem;
• exposure to stress;
• tendency to depression;
• acute reaction to criticism;
• slowness at work;
• passivity.

The shortcomings of a melancholic person do not harm anyone except himself

It is common for a melancholic woman to get upset and sad because of little things. These are romantic natures who love to dream. They make good wives, caring housewives and mothers.

Men of this type are serious, thoughtful, and you can rely on them. They have an innate sense of self-worth, but have low self-esteem, which often prevents them from achieving success at work.