Partner birth, husband during childbirth, husband's help in the delivery room, advantages

The birth of a baby is the happiest period in the life of every couple, which can radically change the entire life of the family, their outlook on life and even their attitude towards each other. Partner birth will help make this moment truly unforgettable not only for the new mother, but also for the father of the child - a process in which the husband is directly involved in the birth of the baby.

What is partner childbirth and how to get permission for it

Partner birth is the process of giving birth to a child, which is accompanied by the presence of a partner in the delivery room.
WARNING! The information on the site is provided for informational purposes and cannot be used to make a diagnosis or make treatment decisions. As a rule, the husband is most often the partner, but you can take along your mother, mother-in-law, sister and any other relative with whom you want to share this moment.

From a psychological point of view, partner childbirth plays an important role in bringing spouses closer together and in the relationship between child and father.

The birth of a child in the presence of relatives is a new phenomenon for maternity hospitals, so in some provincial perinatal centers they sometimes refuse this service, because there are no special rooms.

Modern legislation stipulates that this service should be free, but often it is included in the “paid package” of childbirth.

In order to obtain permission for partner childbirth you must:

consent of the husband or other partner;
a statement from the expectant mother, certified by the signature of the chief physician or deputy of the perinatal center;
test results of a relative for AIDS, syphilis, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, fluorography.
the husband must have with him a set of clean change of clothes and shoes;
It is necessary to undergo training in joint childbirth at the school of future parents or independently.

In order to attend the birth together with the expectant mother, it is enough to provide the necessary health documents and an application addressed to the head physician.

Psychological preparation is not a mandatory step, but skipping it is not recommended. The partner must be prepared for what he is about to see.

Preparing for childbirth: a bag for your partner

The main condition for a positive result from the presence of a partner at childbirth is mutual consent of the parties. Many women believe that they have the right to confront their man with a fact - he is a father, which means he must help when the baby is born. This position rarely leads to a good result; during the birth process, a person who is in the ward without his own desire simply observes from the sidelines, without providing any sincere participation, which can only interfere and irritate the woman in labor. If both parties really agree and want a partner birth, then the picture will turn out to be much more pleasant and productive.

As for practical preparation for the upcoming event, the partner needs to pack a small bag with him to the maternity hospital, which will contain:

documents (passport, insurance policy if available, just in case);
a change of clothes and shoes (rubber slippers and a set of washed and ironed comfortable clothes, for example, a T-shirt and shorts). If your partner has long hair, it is better to take an elastic band with you. Some maternity hospitals provide a medical suit - this issue needs to be clarified on site in advance;
results of tests and fluorography. Usually, husbands undergo all examinations during their wife’s pregnancy, and their results are entered into an exchange card, according to which the woman in labor is admitted to the maternity hospital. If the data was not entered into the card, then you need to have the results on hand (tests for HIV, hepatitis B and C, syphilis, fluorography results, a certificate from the tuberculosis clinic about the person’s absence from registration);

Before visiting the maternity hospital, a man must undergo fluorography and obtain a certificate confirming that he is not registered with a tuberculosis dispensary.
water and something for a snack. Cookies or bananas are ideal, since it is unlikely that you will be able to eat a full meal, and given that labor can last a long time, you still need to have a snack.

How to prepare for a partner birth

Preparation for a partner birth consists of several stages:

mutual decision and agreement;
psychological preparation;
confirmation of health status.

The consent of both parties to be present together during childbirth is a fundamental issue. You definitely need to discuss with your husband all the pros and cons of giving birth together. And only after that make a decision and the possibility of his presence.

Sometimes women try to convince their husband to be with her at the time of the birth of the child through manipulation and pressure. This is obviously a wrong step. A man may not be psychologically ready to see this process and this will become a serious test for him.

If the spouse at the first stage agreed to a partner birth, then you need to thoroughly study the process of childbirth and prepare for it.

Currently, there are a large number of benefits for joint childbirth. This could be a book, brochure, video, or school training for young parents.

It is advisable to study the real stories of those couples who have already gone through this.

It is worth paying special attention to what men say about childbirth, who have already been with their wife in the process of bringing a child into the world.

Confirmation of health status requires passing a mandatory medical examination. It includes tests for sexually transmitted diseases, hepatitis, and fluorography.

Sometimes a physician's opinion on admission to the maternity ward is required.

The influence of joint childbirth on the male psyche

How a woman’s birth will affect her significant other will depend on the man’s preparedness and why the future father decided to be with his wife at this important moment. For example, if a man and a woman decided in this way to resolve a family conflict and unite, then this is not a better way out of the situation, since the stress experienced by both can only worsen family relationships within. Childbirth cannot be used as a lifeline in such a situation.

Many expectant mothers believe that if they involve their husband in the birth of the baby, and he sees their suffering, then he will begin to love and respect his woman more. But in most cases, this has the opposite effect and the man moves away from the woman, feeling guilty that he caused the pain that she experienced during childbirth. Therefore, a pregnant woman must understand once and for all that the process of bringing a child into the world should under no circumstances be used as a method of manipulation.

If a man himself has decided to participate in childbirth, then the birth of a baby will have an extremely positive impact on him. If we consider this process from a psychological point of view, then thanks to joint “work” on the birth of a child, the couple will be able to better understand each other and learn mutual trust, and as you know, trust is one of the factors of strong relationships and the family as a whole. Also, in men present at the birth of a baby, the paternal instinct immediately manifests itself. The sooner the future father sees his baby, the sooner he realizes his responsibility, which he will have to carry throughout his life.

If a woman feels like a mother from the first weeks of pregnancy, being in complete unity with the baby, then many men begin to feel like fathers only when the child grows up a little.

Thanks to joint childbirth, you can awaken a man's paternal instinct much faster, allowing him to feel that he is directly related to what is happening.

Necessary examination of a partner for admission

Each perinatal center provides its own list of tests that the husband must undergo before being present at the birth of the baby.

Typically these include:

fluorography;
blood test for syphilis;
blood test for AIDS and HIV;
hepatitis B test;
blood test for hepatitis C;
analysis for staphylococcus;
therapist's conclusion.

This list may be more or less, so the expectant mother must check it with the maternity hospital.

What documents and analyzes are needed?

In order to be with you during childbirth, your partner needs to prepare a number of documents and pass the necessary tests. Doctors must be sure that your companion does not have any infectious diseases.

I will list the standard list of documents and medical studies:

identity document (original);
written statement;
fluorography (valid from 6 months to a year: each maternity hospital has its own conditions);
blood tests for HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B/C;
test for the presence of antibodies to measles (if it shows that there are no antibodies, you will have to get vaccinated against measles);

In 2021, amid the coronavirus pandemic, many maternity hospitals temporarily suspended partner birth programs. Strict restrictions have now been lifted almost everywhere, but your partner will be required to test for COVID-19. If he has already suffered from Covid, he must provide a doctor’s certificate and a positive test for antibodies to coronavirus - IgG. In other cases, you need to take a PCR test (smear from the oropharynx and nasopharynx) no earlier than three days (sometimes up to 7 days are acceptable) before birth. If the test is negative, there will be no problems with admission.

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Benefits of joint birth

The presence of the husband at the birth has a number of advantages over the usual birth of a child:

The expectant mother feels more confident and protected in the presence of her husband or other relatives. In turn, this relieves muscle tension, and they stretch more easily.
As a rule, doctors behave more kindly in the presence of a husband.
The husband provides direct assistance to the woman in labor during the first stage of labor. He records the time between uterine contractions, performs massage, and assists in organizing proper breathing.
The father has the opportunity to be the first to hold the newborn child in his arms. This often forms a very strong emotional bond between them.

In addition to the positive aspects, it is worth paying attention to the negative aspects of childbirth with your husband:

A woman’s embarrassment due to her unaesthetic appearance during childbirth.
Sometimes a man is not ready to see this process even after a joint decision. In such situations, a man can experience severe stress, lose consciousness, and experience disgust.
Sometimes partner births become the cause of future problems in the intimate life of spouses.

Psychological readiness of the partner

If the partner is a woman, there are fewer questions. The main thing is that the woman giving birth. Such a birth partner (whether it’s your mother or a friend) clearly knows what to do, understands perfectly well how a woman in labor feels, and knows a bunch of ways to ease contractions from personal experience. If you have such a person, you can safely take him with you, especially if you have the most trusting relationship.
If the instigator of this event is involved in a partner birth, everything is somewhat more complicated. Firstly, this is a man who is used to the fact that it hurts when a hammer hits his finger as hard as he can. Nature cannot understand pain of a different nature. Secondly, “yazhmuzhik”. They are only that way in appearance, but mostly they are impressionable, to the point of fainting.

Not every man can calmly watch his woman feel bad and do nothing. And there are a lot of options for the development of events here - from searching for doctors and cursing “do something, you’re a doctor” to complete stupor and turning into a piece of furniture. And this, if we forget that some people are afraid of the sight of blood, someone reacts violently to a newborn reddish baby covered with vernix whitish lubricant.

In general, what is natural for a woman, for a man, no matter how brutal he may be, can become a real shock.

Partner's readiness for childbirth

The birth partner, especially if it is a man, must be mentally prepared:

It will be painful and difficult for you;
There will be blood;
The newborn baby is not as beautiful as the picture;
Labor can take longer than everyone would like;
You will need mental and physical help.

In addition to the fact that this is a stressful situation for both partners, there is an opinion that after such an action is completed, sex after childbirth is reserved for you for a very long time. For the most part this is not the case, but things can happen. Therefore, you must be confident in who you take with you to the birth. This person must be ready to stabilize your mood, serve, bring, support (not only morally). Your partner should be a part of the process, helping you and the doctors, not creating additional difficulties.

The role of the husband during joint childbirth

Many argue that a man or other relatives should not be with a woman in labor, because they will only interfere with medical personnel. This opinion is wrong.

Partner assistance during childbirth:

moral support for a woman;
help maintain contact between the doctor and the laboring woman;
protecting the interests of women and children;
providing natural pain relief techniques in the form of massage and breathing;
assistance in caring for a newborn baby.

What does a husband need to know before giving birth?

Preparation for childbirth begins at the moment of bearing the baby, a man must delve into these processes, so invite him to the antenatal clinic, for an ultrasound scan, screening. It is important to draw up a birth plan, stipulate what the husband will have to do at each stage of labor. For example, at the first stage, the husband helps to pack things for the maternity hospital and determine the regularity of contractions. Upon admission to the maternity hospital, the future father will have to take care of the comfort of his wife, lay out the bed, prepare water, and perhaps turn on his favorite music. Knowing his functions, the husband will become an indispensable assistant and real support during childbirth, which is so necessary for every woman.

Diseases for which you will not be admitted to the maternity ward

Persons with an infectious disease, such as ARVI, are not allowed to attend childbirth.
Since the immunity of the mother and child is weakened, this is dangerous. Previously, the father undergoes fluorography, a smear for oral flora, and is examined for HIV, RW.

All precautions allow you to protect your child from infections and maintain health.

What should you not bring into the maternity ward?

Flowers that smell strongly can cause headaches. Remember that pollen causes allergies in both mother and child. If you really want to please your ladies, then give preference to neutral options - gerberas, roses, carnations. A large bouquet can create additional troubles, because you need to choose a container where to place it.
Before packing a bag of food for mom, consider her diet. The hospital provides three meals a day, so there is no need to buy the entire refrigerator. Do not carry perishable foods; in the first days, food should be easily digestible, which is also important for the baby and his undeveloped stomach.
Do not bring perfume or decorative cosmetics; all this can be left at the time of discharge.
Clothing should not be made of synthetic materials.
There will be no need for sterilizers, heaters and other benefits of civilization.

Until when can you stay with a woman in labor?

This point is discussed with the doctor personally. Some men are ready to be with a woman until the very end of childbirth. For some, the final stage seems the most terrible, so they try to be present only at the moment of contractions, in every possible way helping to alleviate the pain. There is no need to force your partner to be present at all stages of childbirth; it would be better if it was a mutual decision that would bring more benefits.

How does a partner birth work?

In order to provide all the necessary assistance in full, you need to know how partner childbirth takes place.

They include 3 periods:

Start of contractions. At this stage, it is recommended to actively change your position, choosing the one in which the painful sensations appear less. It is not recommended to lie down for a long time, because... this slows down the process of cervical dilatation. During this period, the partner can provide active assistance in the form of massage, breathing and moral support.
Start pushing. Attempts open the active phase of fetal expulsion. At this point, the woman should take a position so that the obstetricians can comfortably deliver the baby. If desired, during this period the husband can leave the delivery room and return after the baby is born. After the baby is born, the spouse can cut the umbilical cord and take the newborn in his arms.
Birth of the placenta. At this moment, the woman no longer feels severe pain. The process takes place under the supervision of doctors. Dad can go out or be with the child.

In situations where there is a complication in the delivery process or a caesarean section is required, the partner is asked to leave the delivery room.

Partner childbirth: instructions for use. How does this happen, what is needed for this, pros and cons

One of the important conditions for a successful birth is the support of a woman in labor from a loved one (husband, mother, friend). Such a person can be present during particularly acute moments or throughout labor, help to take a comfortable position during contractions, provide massage and techniques that reduce pain, and emotionally support the woman. To do this, the pregnant woman and her labor partner first attend special preparatory courses, learning to actively participate in the joint birth of the baby. So, how does this happen, what is necessary to participate in partner childbirth, and is the presence of a partner even necessary in such a serious process?

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Content:

1. Preparing for a partner birth

2. Partner birth: pros and cons

3. How can a partner help during childbirth?

4. Advice for your partner during childbirth

5. Partner childbirth: tests, necessary things and conditions for joint childbirth

6. Partner birth, how does it happen?

— FIRST PERIOD OF LABOR (positions of the woman in labor, techniques to reduce pain and relaxation)

— SECOND STAGE OF LABOR

— THIRD STAGE OF LABOR

7. In what cases may joint childbirth not be permitted?

Partner birth video course, video 1

Partner birth video course, video 2

We recommend reading: partner birth reviews, comments, similar topics

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· Preparing for a partner birth

Preparation for joint childbirth can be divided into several fundamental stages:

The solution is a very important component, and the very first task. Each couple must weigh the pros and cons of partner childbirth and act exclusively independently, not paying attention to the opinions of outsiders and fashion trends.
Psychological preparation - here special literature, videos, special courses on preparing for childbirth, communication with specialists and reviews from experienced partners who have gone through partner childbirth together will come to the rescue.
The practical aspect is that a maternity hospital is not an entertainment establishment, it’s not easy to get there, and not every maternity hospital can be reached at all. To gain access, a partner must, at a minimum, obtain a certificate from the clinic confirming that he is healthy. Partner births assume that tests for HIV, hepatitis, RV, as well as general blood and urine tests, fluorography and other tests that the maternity hospital requires will be in order.

Now let's look at all this in order.

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· Partner childbirth: pros and cons

Partner childbirth is serious work and real co-creation. Therefore, the decision to “give birth together” must be conscious and always mutual, especially if it concerns spouses. There is a lot of talk around joint childbirth and a lot of arguments “for” and “against”. Among them there are worthy of attention and outright myths, but one way or another this issue requires a balanced approach and serious discussion with your partner, whoever it is: husband, mother or girlfriend. You need to come to an agreement in advance, decide on the details (presence of the partner for the entire period of labor “from start to finish” or only during contractions, without going into the delivery room, participation in cutting the umbilical cord, etc.) in order to have time to consult and prepare properly.

There are circumstances in which it is better for the partner not to be present at the birth. In particular, partner childbirth has a number of weighty arguments against, for example:

Excessive impressionability of the partner. Many people have heard stories about how a dad faints right in the delivery room - and this is not always fiction. Is it worth exposing the father of your baby or your own mother, who is deeply experiencing everything that is happening, to emotional shock? When the partner is frankly unable to do this, the woman in labor is only needlessly worried, and doctors are faced with unnecessary trouble, this is a clear argument “against” partner childbirth. If a partner birth with a friend clearly threatens to turn into meaningless “groaning” and useless running of the latter around the ward, then it is better to limit yourself to reassurance over the phone.
The woman in labor pays extra attention to the aesthetic aspect of the matter. Childbirth is a natural process and has nothing to do with the Oscar ceremony. If a young lady is afraid to appear to her man without makeup, sweaty, red, it is better not to embarrass her with the presence of her dad, not to distract her attention - all the woman’s forces should be directed entirely to childbirth. In this case, it is better to prefer a partner birth with a friend or mother - a person who does not provoke complexes in the woman in labor.
The spouses' relationship needs resuscitation. Partner childbirth, and the birth of a child itself, is not the best solution for gluing together cracks that threaten to grow into abysses. You need to understand that partner childbirth for a couple is a certain test of mutual understanding, sympathy, and complicity.

These are just the main points when partner childbirth has more “against” than “for”. In these cases, it is better to abandon the idea of “giving birth together.” But, besides them, there are a lot of other, individual “contraindications”, and we are not talking about medical indications (by the way, the presence of a loved one is not prohibited even during childbirth by cesarean section). Here the question is rather about personal relationships and the depth of mutual understanding, so each couple must decide for themselves, taking into account the specific pros and cons of giving birth together.

As for the arguments “for” partner childbirth, they are also mostly deeply emotional. In addition to specific physical assistance and psychological support from a partner for a woman in labor, there are also certain nuances in favor of joint childbirth, relating to the direct participation of the father in the birth of an heir or heiress:

Childbirth for a woman is not just a physical, but also a powerful psychological experience that helps reveal her feminine essence and sense of motherhood. Such an experience is no less important for the father. Psychologists have noticed that among men who were present at the birth of their babies, the activation of “paternal instincts” occurs in the first minutes of the baby’s life, and not during the first few months, as is usually the case. There is a popular opinion among psychoanalysts that cutting the umbilical cord (the honorable duty of which is often entrusted to the father during a partner birth) for a man symbolizes the final separation from the mother, the release of the child from her care. Thus, the birth of an heir marks the symbolic act of birth of the father.
Partner births become a new step in relationships, and fathers begin to treat more carefully and even reverently not only towards their own wife, but also towards women in general. Among the men who ignore pregnant women standing on public transport or mothers with heavy strollers, you are unlikely to find fathers who have given birth. In addition, at the most “inconvenient” moment, in order not to be embarrassed, you can always ask dad to go outside the door of the delivery room, for example, to send him for water. And even if dad stays, his attention from the piquant scenes will most likely be diverted by the doctors themselves: for example, they will ask him to hold the head of a woman in labor. So the man simply won’t see the unsightly bloody details.
The presence of a father from the first minutes of life can also make an indelible impression on a newborn. During the first half hour after birth, the baby is in a state of so-called calm alertness. As soon as the baby screams, taking his first breaths, he does not sleep, does not eat, but looks at the world and establishes contact with it. This period of wakefulness is extremely important in the formation of long-term bonds and attachments. Experts believe that this is why in families where spouses have decided to have a partner birth, there is an amazing atmosphere of love, mutual responsibility and understanding, and the bond between the child and the father is stronger.

Keep this in mind when evaluating partner childbirth, the pros and cons of the idea of giving birth together.

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· Joint childbirth: how can a partner help during childbirth?

Firstly,

When entering the hospital, any person is unlikely to experience joy and remain calm and relaxed (no matter how good the clinic and attentive medical staff are). Therefore, the very first task of the partner during childbirth is to minimize the irritating influence of white coats and hospital walls. While next to the woman in labor, the partner should instill calm in her and maintain a positive attitude.

Secondly,

in the maternity hospital, the partner has a very important buffer role - a link between the mother and the medical staff. It is the partner who will have to figure out all sorts of incomprehensible points, for example, whether a pregnant woman can move around during contractions, whether she needs to take anything with her to the delivery room, remind the obstetrician, place the newborn on the mother’s stomach immediately after birth, clarify when she can start first feeding, how to care for a baby, etc. The birth partner can act as a mediator for the woman in labor, ask the medical staff to explain the use of medications and procedures, inform the doctor about the start of pushing, and call for help. If necessary, act as an advocate for the interests of the mother in labor.

Third,

It would be good to work on
methods of natural pain relief for childbirth
with the participation of a loved one. Surely, everyone knows that the main principle of painless childbirth is the absence of fear, which provokes muscle tension that needs to be relaxed in order to quickly and easily “release” the baby. When taking a course or consulting with a specialist, be sure to explore these methods, they may be especially helpful.

Fourthly,

the presence of a partner during childbirth is not the limit of heroism. The most “interesting” part will begin when the newly-exhausted mother with her newborn baby is transferred to the ward. Now in most maternity hospitals the baby is not taken away from the mother, as it was before. That is, the mother, after the incredible labor of labor, does not have the opportunity to fully rest and sleep, because she needs to care for the baby. And babies are often very restless - it was also hard, the child may simply be in shock from what is happening, having left the cozy mother’s tummy. Often it is at this moment that the mother needs help, even more than during childbirth. She feels dizzy, has no strength, everything hurts, ruptures hurt, and the baby needs a diaper, then an enema, then dressed, then undressed, then rocked, then fed,... That’s why we need double, family rooms, where the happy dad and the new granny are or a caring friend can prove herself to be a real support and irreplaceable assistant, providing invaluable support.

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· Partner birth: advice for your partner during childbirth

If a decision has been made in favor of a partner birth, it is important to decide in advance what exactly the help of a loved one will involve.

A partner can:

Maintain your own calm and exude confidence that everything is going as it should. The woman in labor, feeling this, will be calm herself, since the woman in labor gives control over the situation in joint childbirth to her partner.

Measure the duration of contractions and the time periods between them in order to understand at what stage the labor process is. It is important to get an idea in advance of exactly how childbirth occurs.

Hold the woman in labor by the hand, give her water to drink, wipe away sweat, and do whatever she asks.

Help a woman relax her muscles with pleasant stroking, reminding her in a quiet and calm voice to relax;

Adjust to the breathing of the woman in labor in order to better feel her condition and, if necessary, help establish a breathing rhythm.

During and between contractions, do a pain-relieving massage, stroke the stomach and massage the sacral area and lower back.

Helping the woman get to the toilet, reminding the woman about this every hour, even if she doesn’t feel like it, is advisable to relieve herself. As a rule, pain after visiting the toilet decreases.

Help change positions and find a comfortable position with the help of pillows or a ball, or simply support while the woman hangs on her partner.

Provide psychological support and praise during childbirth. When something doesn’t work out, ask to concentrate on breathing and do it again.

10.

If agreed in advance, the partner can cut the umbilical cord under the guidance of a midwife. And, of course, film the first minutes of the life of the new little man and his happy mother on video or with a camera.

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· Partner childbirth: tests and necessary things and conditions for joint childbirth

Most maternity hospitals require only a general blood test, a certificate from the clinic that he is healthy, and fluorography, which, as a rule, is already in the birthing woman’s exchange card, for the presence of a partner during childbirth. However, the conditions in each maternity hospital are different, so the requirements should be clarified exactly where you are going to give birth. Sometimes it is necessary to take additional tests for your partner.

Partner births, tests:

for HIV,
for hepatitis,
for syphilis.

The future dad (grandmother or girlfriend) will need replacement shoes and clothes:

cotton trousers and a clean T-shirt (or robe),
washable slippers.

A disposable gown, mask and cap are usually provided in the maternity hospital, but it would be better to clarify this point in advance and bring it with you if necessary. The only condition for clothing is that it is clean and light - it is not advisable to sweat in labor, but it is hot there (both literally and figuratively), and the ventilation is poor (to avoid drafts).

Naturally, doctors prefer that the partner present at the birth be well prepared, although no one will require a certificate of completion of the relevant courses.

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· Partner birth, how does it happen?

First stage of labor

Normally, a woman is recommended to be active during labor - get out of bed, take comfortable positions, and walk. An upright position during this period will help speed up the labor process, promoting rapid dilatation of the cervix and the descent of the fetus, although there is no “ideal” position suitable for everyone. It is important to control and record the frequency and duration of contractions.

Positions of the woman in labor in the first stage of labor

It is advisable to discuss in advance with the obstetrician the possibility of a vertical position during contractions, since prolonged lying on the back can not only slow down the progress of labor, but also provoke “inferior vena cava syndrome”, worsen blood supply and adversely affect the condition of the baby. If a horizontal position seems more comfortable to a woman in labor, then it is better to lie on her side, changing sides at least once an hour. You can try sitting almost vertically, leaning back a little and leaning on your partner.

At the end of the first period of labor, contractions become stronger, longer and more frequent. Do breathing exercises

you can start from this moment, but if they are unsuccessful, if it causes inconvenience, it is better to refuse breathing exercises. The partner can breathe loudly together with the woman in labor, if this helps, but you should not insist on doing them - everything is individual. Your partner can also use other techniques to help ease the pain during contractions and help you relax between them. In this case, you should follow the woman’s instructions, depending on what brings her more relief.

Techniques for pain reduction and relaxation

You need to try to relax as much as possible between contractions, although this will become increasingly difficult. It is advisable to change position more often and choose the most comfortable one. In the intervals between contractions, the partner should remind you of the need to relax, help change position, and walk with the woman in labor around the bed. A massage of the lower back helps to relax; during contractions, you can actively massage the sacrum with your fist.

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Second stage of labor

In the second labor period, pushing will be added to intense contractions. You should take a position appropriate for pushing (depending on the conditions of a particular maternity hospital). The best position for pushing is considered to be a semi-sitting position, so that the weight of the fetus is involved. When pushing, you should try to control your efforts, coordinating them strictly with the midwife’s recommendations: start pushing at the doctor’s command and stop pushing if he recommends it. The partner can control the woman's breathing and pushing

, focusing on medical instructions, support the back during pushing, help the woman in labor rest between pushes, hold her hand, help stay in the chosen position, encourage when efforts are needed, inform about the progress of labor. When the baby is born, your partner can cut the umbilical cord and hold the baby first.

After the umbilical cord is clamped, the first care procedures are carried out with the newborn: his condition is assessed on the Apgar scale, he is wiped, identification tags are applied, drops are injected into the eyes to protect against infection, he is weighed, and swaddled. After this, if there is no need for additional procedures, the baby is handed over to the mother and father. Normally, a mother can start breastfeeding her baby right after giving birth. Such early attachment contributes to better uterine contractions, establishment of lactation, and rapid adaptation of the newborn baby.

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Third stage of labor

After the birth of the child, the third stage of labor begins, which ends with the birth of the placenta (fetal membranes and placenta). The woman in labor may feel mild contractions, but may not even notice them. When the placenta is born, any cuts or tears, if any, will be stitched up. At this time, the partner can hold the baby, get information from the neonatologist about his condition, bring the baby to the mother for feeding, film or photograph the newborn.

Of course, childbirth does not always proceed according to a predetermined plan, but the general scheme of childbirth gives an idea of its course and allows you to plan behavior in advance, not forgetting about the possible occurrence of atypical situations, but also not expecting them.

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· In what cases may joint childbirth not be permitted?

There are cases when a doctor can refuse this legal service and prohibit the participation of a father, grandmother or girlfriend in childbirth. For example, a partner may not be allowed in if the birth block is full - a matter of chance, but then even a preliminary agreement may not be valid. The reason for refusal may be the banal lack of an individual delivery room in the maternity hospital. Partner births are strictly prohibited when there is quarantine in the maternity hospital. And of course, even a partner’s common cold can ruin plans to give birth together.

Therefore, it is important for a woman in labor to realize that she is the main one in childbirth, that how it will go depends only on herself and her mood. Husband, mother, girlfriend, medical staff and even a midwife - they are all only mother’s assistants in such a difficult, but amazing and wonderful task of bringing a child into the world!

Yana Lagidna, especially for MyMom . ru

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And a little more about what partner childbirth is, video course: video 1

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Partner birth, video course: video 2

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We recommend reading: partner birth reviews, comments, similar topics

In what cases is partner childbirth not recommended?

Numerous psychological and medical studies have shown that some men are better off refraining from being present during the birth of a child. You should not go to childbirth with your wife if:

There are bad or difficult relationships between the spouses in the family. In such a situation, instead of the expected support, a woman may receive an outburst of negativity and irritation.
The spouses are not officially married. In this case, the woman’s sense of instability may worsen and conflict may arise.
A man does not perceive the sight of blood, does not tolerate pain and other medical situations that are devoid of aesthetics. In such a situation, the spouse may behave inappropriately and interfere with the process.
The man is a dictator. Most likely, a woman in such a situation will not receive support, but instructions and instructions on what she is doing wrong.

If one of the listed phenomena is present in the family, then partner childbirth is not the best solution. You should not expect that a bad relationship with your husband will improve after his stay at the birth. Most likely, the woman will be disappointed and the problem will worsen.

Partner birth is a modern trend in perinatal practice. They are quite important aspects of building family relationships and strengthening the bond between father and child.

In order for the process to be successful and leave only tender memories, you need to know well what is needed for a partner birth and prepare for it.

If your spouse is not ready to participate in this event, you should not insist or put pressure on him. Only a joint decision and voluntary desire will make this process successful.

How to behave as a husband during childbirth

Finally, I would like to give a few recommendations to husbands regarding behavior during joint childbirth:

Stay calm and positive. Do not panic. If you feel that you cannot cope with emotions, it is better to leave the delivery room for a while. Allow yourself to gather your courage and completely calm down.
Encourage your wife - she needs psychological support during these hours more than ever. Don't overdo it with jokes and distracting conversations. A woman needs to be focused on her main task - the birth of a baby. To do this, she needs to plunge into a state close to trance. It’s better to let your wife relax in a quiet, calm voice.
Massage the lower back and sacral area - it significantly eases contractions.
Be a support in the truest sense of the word. To reduce pain, the wife will look for the most comfortable position. She may “hang” on you or lean on her with her hands.
Let your own wife keep the situation under control. Even if you are used to making decisions in your family, roles change during childbirth. Respect your wife's requests - for example, about epidural anesthesia or choosing a way to experience contractions. It happens that women become irritable during labor and ask their husband to leave. You should not be offended by your spouse’s emotional attacks and take what is said to heart.
Do not interfere with the actions of the medical team. If doctors insist on additional manipulations, procedures or pain relief, do not get into arguments.
When everything goes well, always praise your wife - this will give her a powerful incentive to try and see it through to the end.
In a stressful situation, a wife may become confused and forget about her breathing rhythm. Remind how to breathe, or better yet, breathe together.

By the way, we devote separate lessons to breathing techniques, and I also mentioned the basic techniques in the article.

Joint childbirth is a wonderful opportunity to witness the birth of a new little person. But the decision must be conscious and made in advance. If you feel that you are not mentally ready to take part, tell your wife about it honestly. I think that she will understand your doubts and choose with whom she will also be comfortable in the maternity ward - with her mother, a friend or a doula.

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Partner birth pros and cons

Partner births have supporters and opponents who have a point of view on the process and its consequences. What arguments are being put forward?

Psychologists' opinion

The topic is very delicate and must be resolved individually with each couple. There are also general arguments that require study and analysis.

Pros

Fathers have the right to participate in one of the most important family events. The pregnancy proceeded without pathologies, the mother in labor is completely healthy and the birth proceeds normally? Then there are no medical reasons prohibiting the spouse from being present in the delivery room. Joint childbirth not only shows respect for the patient, openness and willingness to cooperate, but also an educational factor for the father and mother. In men who witness the birth of a child, the paternal instinct awakens earlier.
Childbirth is a natural outcome of pregnancy, which modern men experience with their partner. The most difficult stage of the exciting journey traveled by the couple. It is logical that the spouses should experience the end of the journey together. Who, if not a husband and future father, can become the best support at such a moment? Family bonds are strengthened, respect and gratitude for each other become more tangible. From the first minutes of life, the baby feels the need for psychological connections with mom and dad. Subsequent joint memories of the child’s birthday, viewing photos or videos will also have an impact on strengthening the family.
Spouses look at each other with new eyes during these hours. The man is imbued with respect for his wife, and she is grateful for her support. This has a positive effect on relationships.

Cons

Partner births are contraindicated for families with tense relationships. They are needed when a woman really needs support, and does not seek to show her husband who in the family “suffers more.”
The man does not express a clear desire for joint childbirth? Is he afraid of blood, doctors, very impressionable? This kind of process is not for him. Persuasion and insistence will worsen the situation. The woman will receive an additional source of irritation rather than help. A man who did not want to be present at the birth has to listen to undeserved reproaches. The atmosphere in the family is deteriorating.
Has a man had a tendency to panic, blame others, or get angry at moments of responsibility? Childbirth can be overshadowed by unpleasant scenes that do not bring positivity to family life. Give up the idea. During the childbearing process, minimize negative aspects rather than provoke them.
Is the desire for partner childbirth dictated not by personal need, but by a tribute to a peculiar fashion? The decisive factor may be the desire to help and support, otherwise such a birth will not be facilitated by the presence of a partner.

Reviews from men

Men's reviews vary, depending on the character of the man, the relationship in the couple, and the correct organization of the process. If there is harmony in the couple, the partner birth is organized correctly, then the memories remain positive, and the family is strengthened. At the same time, an ill-considered process, without proper preparation and awareness, leads to discord. Most men remember the experience positively, are proud of it and feel a closer connection with the baby.

For some expectant fathers, partner births are undesirable. Let's look at their most common types:

Husbands who are afraid of changes in their intimate lives and childbirth. They are embarrassed when they hear about the details of the birth of a child, and many natural physiological processes frighten them. This does not mean that his wife is unpleasant to him - in general, he has a heightened perception in certain moments. He can't help the fact that pregnant women seem unattractive to him. It is unlikely that his wife giving birth will evoke a warmer emotion in him. This perception takes years to form and is unlikely to change in a few months.
Husbands who succumbed to persuasion follow the fashion for joint childbirth. You should not be present at the process if there is no strong internal desire. Bad argument: “That’s what the boss (brother, friend, acquaintance, famous actor) did.” The main arguments are: “I want to be present when the child is born,” “I want to help you, take care of you, support you.”
Husbands who did not study the necessary information, did not watch the videos, and did not listen to important recommendations. In the delivery room they feel helpless and unnecessary. The wife’s opinion of him is deteriorating, and the husband himself perceives what happened negatively. Childbirth begins to be associated with negativity. Don't assume your partner will help intuitively. There was no interest in studying information in depth during pregnancy? You can hardly count on the necessary help. It’s another matter if the physical presence of her husband is enough for the woman in labor, and she is confident in his adequate behavior.
“Callless” representatives of “male professions.” This refers to the military, athletes, rescuers. We are not talking about everyone, but about pronounced representatives who correspond to well-known stereotypes. They have high demands on themselves and others, they are categorical, rude and uncompromising. It is unlikely that they will be able to provide the necessary emotional support - a superior desire to control will create tension in the relationship with the staff and the mood of the mother in labor.
Constant "showman". Everyone knows the type of man who makes a holiday and a show out of any event, often crossing the line of appropriateness. Such partners distract the medical staff, do not allow the woman to concentrate on pushing, and periodically behave defiantly and inappropriately. Attempts to relieve tension lead to its creation. A good mood and a sense of humor can help defuse the atmosphere at the right time, but if a man sometimes does not feel “too much,” it is better for him to wait for the birth of the child in the corridor near the delivery room. Whatever good intentions he may have, they can turn into irritation for the laboring wife and the staff.
Restless, fidgety. A woman entering the birthing room needs participation and support, but this category of husbands needs the same. They introduce additional turmoil into the process without making it any easier.

How to behave for men during joint childbirth

Men can hardly stand the sight of a suffering woman. Psychologists offer the following tips on how to behave during childbirth:

Affection and care. A woman needs maximum care. However, it’s also not worth talking about excessive tenderness. Not all women like too sweet words, and at such moments they may even consider it a mockery.
Help only when necessary. The husband must understand what his beloved needs. However, he should not get in the way and hover in front of the woman in labor all the time. The woman is already very tired, so there is no need to annoy her with inappropriate help.
Correctness towards staff. There is no need to give your advice to medical professionals. That's not why the husband is there. He must control their actions, but not interfere with their work in any way.
Leaving at the most crucial moment. If the husband realized that he could not bear such a psychological attack, he had better retreat out the door. Otherwise, he will only aggravate the situation with his inadequate condition, and then he will need help. In this case, he leaves the room and waits for the end of labor outside the door. Of course, the baby will also be delivered to him, and he will be able to join this sacrament.

Each couple decides for themselves whether or not to have a joint birth. You cannot give an ultimatum to your partner. By talking with the person directly, you can understand his opinion about giving birth together.

Who is partner childbirth not suitable for?

Firstly, for women for whom fashion comes first. Assess your own readiness to share the birth of a child with your spouse. Or is it a desire to follow fashion trends? In this case, it is better to give birth according to the classics - surrounded by medical personnel.

Secondly, well-groomed perfectionists. Are you used to looking perfect in front of your husband? During childbirth, you may feel ashamed and embarrassed. The process may take time due to your complexes and tightness.

Thirdly, to religious women. Think: do your beliefs allow partner birth?

Fourthly, if for you this is an attempt to revive the relationship. It will only get worse.

Fifthly, if you and your husband do not take responsibility, shift it to other people, to each other. In partner childbirth, emotional maturity is important.

Have you decided to give birth on your own? It is your right. No one can force you to act differently. Do you want to give birth together? Then prepare thoroughly for the process.

Arguments in favor of partner childbirth

The emergence of paternal instinct. After joint births, it develops faster. Does your husband want to be present at the birth of your son or daughter? Don’t forbid him: this is the most important event in his life, he will treat the baby more responsibly and be involved in the process of care and education.
Strengthening the union. You are 9 months pregnant. This is a difficult period. The birth of a child is its final stage. Your husband supported you throughout your pregnancy. This is the time when you need his support the most. After giving birth together, couples become stronger, the relationship is trusting, and the respect of the husband for his wife increases.
Positive influence on the baby. Happy parents together - such a picture is recorded in the child’s subconscious. This has a positive effect on the formation of his personality in the future.
Exchange of microflora. In a partner birth, the newborn is given to the father immediately. Through skin-to-skin contact, the child receives the father's microflora.

Partner childbirth will be beneficial provided the man is ready for such an experience, his voluntary desire to be close to the woman in labor and good relations between the spouses.

What it is

In the maternity hospital, there are medical personnel next to the woman in labor - they help the baby to be born. And physical and moral support in partner childbirth is provided by a close person, more often the husband.

In 2011, Law No. 323-FZ “On the fundamentals of protecting the health of citizens in the Russian Federation” was issued. According to it, with the woman’s consent, a family member can be present at the birth of the baby. The presence of a friend is also allowed in clinics. There is an exception: the state of health of the woman in labor and the method of delivery. During a caesarean section, only medical staff are present in the operating room.