Schoolgirl crush
What to do if you fall in love with a teacher? Similar stories sometimes happen in educational institutions. Sparks of love can run between a mentor and a student, fueled by emotional dialogue or circumstances. After all, the schoolgirl is now at an age when emotions take precedence over reason. Children's dreams still dominate, preventing us from realizing the reality of the events taking place. The feeling of falling in love overshadows everything around, only the face and words of your loved one stand before your eyes.
Sometimes this state awakens even careless students to action, forcing them to draw attention to themselves with a change in behavior or appearance. A new hairstyle, languid glances, increased observation instead of the educational process and a sober approach. Excellent students also fall in love, allowing themselves to abandon their studies and skip classes, plague themselves with suspicions and suffer without reciprocal feelings. This is all unreasonable.
If the object of adoration is connected by family ties, then any retaliatory actions can compromise and ruin the relationship with his wife and children. This imposes a certain responsibility on both parties. Even a large age difference cannot prevent the awakening of strong feelings.
How to behave in such situations?
Before we tell you what to do if you fall in love with a teacher, we will describe what you should not do:
- Openly demonstrate your interest in the relationship so as not to get into an awkward situation yourself and not to put the teacher in such circumstances.
- Share these feelings with your friends to avoid causing rumors and gossip.
- Behave inappropriately or act like an offended student, making the learning process more difficult.
- If no dialogue can take place, then do not strive for it.
- Write notes, letters, messages about great love for life.
- Threaten with attempts to commit suicide.
- Set conditions that limit the choice of another.
- Constantly look for a response with your eyes.
- Look for all sorts of reasons to communicate alone.
- Provoke accidental physical contact.
School romance: I fell in love with my history teacher and achieved reciprocity
My grandfather, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War, an officer who retired due to injury (lost a leg), intimidated my father that he would simply kill him if he did not get married.
As a result, I grew up in a complete, but not at all happy family. My parents argued constantly. Mom reproached dad for cheating, and he simply took his anger out on her. Thank God, it didn’t come to the point of assault, but the whole house heard almost daily scandals.
In Yaroslavl, we first lived on Perekop - in the apartment of my grandparents on my father’s side. And when my father graduated from college and got a job at a plant as a process engineer, he was given a hostel and we moved beyond the Volga.
When I went to school, we moved into a one-room apartment, where my parents lived until their death.
I, observing all the “charm” of family life, received such an aversion to marriage that I decided never to get married. And I didn’t want to have children either, since my parents unconsciously considered me guilty of the fact that they had to put up with each other. And I didn’t want to be as angry with my children because they deprived me of something.
I think that at first my father was really afraid of my grandfather, and my mother did not risk going against his will. And it would be hard for a single woman in the village with a child. That's why they lived together. And over time it just became a habit. And although they were unhappy with each other, they did not want to change anything.
In 1974, when I was sixteen years old, I left my parents’ home and got a job as a turner at a motor plant. I moved into a hostel close to work and enjoyed the freedom.
Of course, I had to work a lot. And it was difficult for a woman in production, where the team was mostly male - there was too much attention. But I successfully fought off all the suitors and enjoyed life alone, when I didn’t have to hear daily scandals.
True, I didn’t work at the plant for a long time - it was hard. I got a job there just to get my own apartment. And by the age of twenty-two she quit.
A friend invited me to work as a salesperson in a haberdashery store. The salary, of course, is less, but I am now much less tired. I even had a desire to graduate from evening school.
There I met Sasha. Then for me he was Alexander Sergeevich, a young history teacher (like Nestor Petrovich, only more experienced - he had been working for four years).
Of average height, always neatly dressed, combed, wearing glasses with round horn-rimmed lenses. There was an air of intelligence about him. And every time he heard swearing, his face became distorted. I'm not talking about swearing.
At that time, after six years of working at the plant, I was an avid swearer. Curses rolled off my tongue every word, I didn’t even notice it.
Alexander Sergeevich often reprimanded me (like everyone else) for swearing. He often reprimanded him in front of everyone in the class. Because of this, I couldn’t digest him with every fiber of my soul.
One day, when I had already graduated for two years, he came into the store where I worked.
I chatted with Sveta, a friend who invited me to be a saleswoman, distracted only when a buyer appeared. And I didn’t even notice the teacher.
– Ksenia, how many times can I repeat this! Well, stop swearing already! After all, it’s just unpleasant when such vile words come out of such sweet lips!
Having burst into an angry tirade, he left the store without buying anything. And I had to explain to Sveta that this was just my teacher.
- Sure? Then do you mind if I take it for myself? – asked a friend. She had been looking for her betrothed for several years, but in the end she simply went through the guys, never deciding to choose anyone.
- For God's sake!
The next day Sveta came to school with me. Of course, I didn’t go to class, but I waited in the yard for the end to watch for Sasha.
The next day she said that she successfully met with him and he even walked her home.
For a whole week, Sveta told me about how their relationship was developing. Every evening she would wait for him at school, and then he would accompany her home. They talked, and she kept bragging about how smart and interesting he was.
She described his qualities so vividly that I even became envious, despite all my prejudices.
And a month later, Sveta said that he was not suitable for her, since he did not have an apartment. I couldn’t even believe my ears when I heard that it was only because of this that she ended up with a “smart and intelligent” man.
When I came to school, Alexander Sergeevich looked so sad that I realized that Sveta’s action was a real blow for him. I even wanted to somehow support him.
After class, I waited for Alexander Sergeevich and apologized for my friend’s actions, while trying very hard not to swear. It was complicated. Before I said anything, I had to think and choose a replacement for all the swear words.
Alexander Sergeevich smiled sadly and said that I don’t have to worry about this. And then he added:
- After all, you can speak beautifully.
And after that I wanted to get rid of swearing in my own speech. Then we walked a little while we were on our way and talked about studying.
The next day, after school, I stayed in the library, and when I came out, I again met with Alexander Sergeevich. And we went home together again. This time I told him about my parents, and he tried to support me.
A couple of days later, during another scolding of the class for swearing, Alexander Sergeevich praised me, saying that I had noticeable results, that I was really trying.
I didn’t expect to be so happy about his praise. And only then did I begin to suspect that the feeling I had for him was not really pity. I realized that I fell in love.
Since then, I tried to meet him after school at least a couple of times a week. And we, albeit not for long, walked home together.
He really turned out to be a very interesting conversationalist: he knew a lot not only about history, but also from various humanities and exact sciences. He was also interested in astronomy and during our walks he often talked about stars and constellations, black holes and asteroids. Since the lessons ended in the dark, he even showed me, if the weather permitted, where which constellation was.
And I began to look forward to our meetings.
This continued until graduation. At the ceremony, Alexander Sergeevich read us his own poems, which caused a lot of jokes about his name and patronymic.
And when everyone was leaving, he caught up with me and, giving me flowers, proposed.
To say that I was shocked is an understatement. After all, despite all my feelings, I never planned to start a family. And I even told him about it more than once. But…
“I’ll make you happy,” he told me then, noticing my reaction. And I burst into tears.
Sasha consoled me and said that he would never upset me.
Thirty-five years have passed since then. We got married that same summer, and in May 1984 I gave birth to my daughter Tanya. In 1987, twins Larisa and Denis were born.
In thirty-five years of marriage, Sasha and I have never had a scandal. Of course, there were arguments, but we never quarreled seriously. And I am very happy that I met such a husband.”
Ksenia Dmitrievna,
Yaroslavl
Student's love and reciprocal feelings
What to do if a student falls in love with a physical education teacher and receives attention in return? A strong, physically healthy man is the object of desire not only for young girls, but also for adult women. The hope for support and protection is inherent at the genetic level. The desire to get a worthy man as a father for your unborn child is a natural instinct, and it is quite difficult to fight it. But it’s still worth remembering that you are a student, and he is your teacher. This means that there can be no relationship.
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Love of convenience
What should you do if you fell in love with a physics teacher only for the reason of getting help in solving problems and mastering educational material? Sober prudence will not hurt here. It is necessary to determine which qualities attract attention to this person. The manner of speaking or clearly explaining incomprehensible formulas, assembling electrical circuits, conducting experiments, or encouraging the study of the world around us from the point of view of physics. What can these qualities give in family life and raising children, how long will this interest last, and will the passion go away with the end of the course of study.
What to do if a teacher falls in love with a student?
The situation is also not simple. Falling in love with a young girl is not at all difficult. Sympathy easily develops into a more complex feeling. Young beauty is charming and naive; even an adult man has plenty of reasons to panic. If the object of sympathy is a minor, then there are restrictions in the development of relationships, leading to criminal liability. It is this circumstance that must be considered first. Determining priorities in the form of loss of respect from colleagues or condemnation from future relatives, a change of place of work or residence is the second reason to weigh all the possible consequences of such love.
If the feelings are so deep and the intentions are serious, you will have to wait more than one year just to find out whether they are mutual or not. No one is ready to be rejected, especially when it comes to emotional experiences. Is such a relationship of different ages necessary, and what kind of continuation can follow? A young girl can be frightened by the feelings of an adult man, unless this is a young graduate of the institute, but the chosen one is at least half the age of the gentleman. Falling in love should not interfere with work; this interference will be instantly noticed by teenagers.
Teacher's feelings
What to do if a teacher falls in love with a student? Whether these are maternal feelings or the desire to be dominant in family relationships will have to be sorted out without delay. If an adult woman has sexual desires for her student, then the reasons are hidden in long-standing psychological trauma. The desire to care for someone who is younger and weaker can be fulfilled by having children of one's own. The usual standard of society assumes the seniority of the man in a family union. The image of a breadwinner and protector may not correspond to the prevailing picture.
What to do if a student falls in love with a teacher?
It is worth understanding the reason for the feelings. Perhaps there is a lack of maternal love and attention, which causes a feeling of falling in love with the teacher. Perhaps this is the desire to have an older sister with similar traits and behavior, or a friend who knows more than you, can advise, listen or help solve life’s problems.
If a teacher dresses fashionably, is slim and modern, has beautiful makeup and an expensive manicure, then she automatically becomes the object of attention not only for boys, but also for girls. Falling in love with a teacher and sighing for her is akin to falling in love with a popular film actor or musician, whose life is followed by the eyes of fans and admirers.
Breaking taboos: falling in love with a teacher
From a generally accepted point of view, there is no way to do this: falling in love with a teacher is worse than falling in love with your boss or your best friend’s boyfriend. And yet, many girls at least once in their lives fell in love with young and attractive teachers. Let's figure out today, on Teacher's Day, why this is happening and is it really that scary?
Illusion and reality
Opinion polls show that about a quarter of Russian students have fallen in love with teachers. This is easy to understand: falling in love with a teacher, especially if he is a young, attractive and talented teacher, is very easy. What does his teaching talent have to do with it? Yes, they are, in fact, important in the first place!
A teacher in a lesson is like an actor on stage, he talks, everyone looks at him, listens with bated breath. And, if he does his job well, he inevitably evokes admiration from the female part of the audience. In the same way, we briefly fall in love with the talented actors we see in an evening performance.
But this is the main trap - when we fall in love with a teacher, we fall in love with his particular role, and during close communication in another situation we may be disappointed. I have noticed many times that the teachers who admired me during my studies, upon closer acquaintance, turn out to be the most ordinary people, sometimes not even very interesting. So maybe we should continue to admire from afar, and not destroy the perfect picture?
Besides possible disappointment, falling in love with a teacher has other disadvantages.
The teacher will most likely distance himself from the students - the position obliges. So, if one-sided love does not give you positive emotions, but only suffering, it is better not to allow such a situation . Why should you sit like a pale shadow during lectures, and be afraid to say a word during an exam, not because of a lack of knowledge, but solely because of your worries? This will not help either in your studies or in your personal life.
But if you know how to relate to your feelings without drama and tragedy, and extract only positive emotions from the current situation, falling in love with a teacher can even be useful. True, here we are not talking about the feeling “I found my one and only, I don’t need anyone else.” This is a completely different situation: when you feel a rush of endorphins from seeing a person or communicating with him, but at the same time you do not dream of getting this person into your undivided possession.
Such a playful, frivolous love will make you go to lectures with pleasure (even not just go, but fly to them); you definitely won’t want to skip. But you will want to study diligently, prepare for classes in order to impress the teacher with your talents.
What if this is for real?
I’ll say right away that you definitely shouldn’t count on this in advance. Although there are different situations in life. Personally, I know of several cases where teachers also fell in love with their students. Once the story even ended with a wedding.
After all, he won't always be your teacher . A semester, a course, or even all five years of study will pass, and from a teacher he will become an ordinary man .
Personally, I fell in love with teachers several times in my life, and this always led to me starting to study much more diligently and successfully. So for myself, I don’t see anything bad in this situation. But each person has his own attitude to this situation.
And how are you? Tell me honestly, have you ever fallen in love with a teacher in your life?
Schoolboy's feelings
What to do if a student falls in love with a teacher? First of all, he needs to understand the reasons for the sympathy that has arisen. It is necessary to find out what qualities attract the attention of a young lover, how further relationships are imagined in the wildest fantasies. The desire to gain sexual experience with an older woman or lack of attention from peers drives the young man’s train of thought.
Is this idealization of the female form as a creative expression of talent for poetry or art? Glorifying the diva or mercantile interest in getting good marks in the teacher's journal. If the age difference is significant, then you should think about why such a young suitor would be interesting to the chosen one. What options are there for developing a serious relationship, and are they even possible?
What to do if a guy falls in love with a teacher? What can a young man see in his teacher other than the embodiment of femininity and attractiveness? Perhaps attention is drawn to the treatment of teenagers and participation in youth problems, the form of communication, the discussion of many situations on an equal basis with students. This style of behavior makes the teacher younger in the eyes of the students, erasing the age line.
Studying influences the further choice of profession, finding happiness, making many desires come true and achieving your goals. Much depends on the teacher in the development of the unformed personality of a teenager. A very careful approach to every situation of sympathy and love that arises will help you find the right way out.
How not to act
You shouldn't tell your friends about your love experiences.
Along with advice on how to behave with the object of your love, there are a number of recommendations on what you should absolutely not do.
- Discuss your feelings with a wide range of people. Naturally, you won’t be able to keep everything to yourself and sooner or later you will want to tell your friend about your experiences. Of course, it would be ideal not to do this, so as not to provoke rumors. But if you really can’t stand it, limit the circle of initiates to a minimum.
- Make fun of or openly mock the teacher if he does not reciprocate. Here, even without comment, such behavior is unworthy of an educated person.
- Let your studies take their course. Education is what your future, your standard of living and prosperity will be based on. So don't let anything affect your learning process.
- Pursue the object of your affection. Each person has a personal zone, which even the closest people have no right to violate. Therefore, you should not appear from every corner on the teacher’s path or write confessions on social networks.
