Domestic violence - psychological, sexual, physical

Domestic violence is threats or repeated acts of a violent nature carried out by one individual against others in a closely related relationship. This problem is considered today to be a fairly widespread and pressing social phenomenon.

Types of domestic violence can be different. These include impacts of economic, physical, psychological, and sexual orientation. Domestic violence can be found in absolutely all socio-ethnic strata of society. Family violence does not depend on racial and cultural aspects, social status, moral and ethical standards found in society, religion, or material security. Also, acts of a violent nature are found equally in heterosexual relationships and in homosexual couples.

Causes of domestic violence

There are many such reasons. They are caused by the combined influence of various factors. It is believed that violent actions can be determined by the socio-cultural nature of society. They may be a consequence of stereotypical ideas about the essence of family relationships, instilled with upbringing, which seem to be the only possible model for building relationships and reinforced by external factors. Also, abuse is the result of an individual’s personal life experience, on the basis of which a stereotypical model of marital behavior in marriage is created.

The causes of domestic violence can come from childhood. For example, if a child suffered some kind of trauma in childhood or experienced a negative experience, then he can take out internal complexes on weak loved ones. Social and personal dissatisfaction forces you to seek compensation for your condition at home, while asserting yourself at the expense of loved ones who are not able to fight back on their own.

Domestic violence, of a physical nature, can be repeated over the course of a single generation. For example, a child who was abused as a child may carry this pattern of behavior into his family relationships as an adult. The psychology of violence can become part of his own “I”.

Domestic terror can arise as a result of a person’s personal characteristics, overdeveloped dominant personality traits and character traits that are not compensated in time by adequate upbringing. Today there is no single point of view on the root cause of domestic violence. There are many theories based on the presence of mental disorders in an individual, the influence of socio-cultural values, the influence of social organization, etc.

Psychologists have found a connection between the increase in violent actions and the following mental factors: weakening control over instincts, disappointment, aggression, alcoholism and psychopathology. Sociologists believe that some cultural norms in society provoke violent actions, for example, the patriarchal social structure of society, which favors male dominance.

Violence is closely related to the presence of social stress in the family. For example, among the mass of factors that contribute to an increase in the level of tension in the family and lead to cruelty, there are: different views on raising children, intimate relationships, pregnancy, financial problems, unemployment, and the need for long-term medical care. The constantly present irritation is partly explained by chronic anxiety about unresolved problems, the discrepancy between desires and possibilities, and the mutually exclusive demands made by society.

Often spousal abuse is related to alcohol. There are two opinions regarding the influence of excessive alcohol consumption on the occurrence of violent acts in the family. The first opinion is based on the fact that alcohol removes any control over instincts. Secondly, it is an excuse. Numerous studies have shown that alcoholism and drug addiction have different effects. It has been noted that a small dose of alcohol does not increase aggression, but increasing the dose may cause aggression. In cases of taking narcotic drugs, increasing the dose does not lead to an aggressive state, but acts on the contrary - it disinhibits and makes the person softer. Drug addicts are prone to aggression and violence not because of drug use, but because they cannot take it.

The consequences of chronic violence of a physical nature are unhealthy timidity, timidity, irritability, harshness, and rudeness. Such reactions are total; the individual will behave in the same way in any situation.

The problem of domestic violence is dangerous because it causes irreparable harm to psychological development, physical health and self-esteem of an individual.

Causes

Psychologists have proven that the likelihood of psychological violence on the part of a man is determined not by character traits or temperament, but by mental properties.

If such a condition appears once, one cannot talk about its complete exclusion from the relationship between spouses under the influence of the work of a specialist or a person’s self-analysis.

The main causes of psychological violence against women are:

in the family where the child grew up, there was a negative example of the father in relation to the mother;
pressure was applied to the man as a child and had a non-constructive effect on the psyche;
adherence to a point of view that assumes the position of a representative of the stronger sex as the unquestioning owner of the house who does not make concessions to other family members;
the man is sure that the woman is satisfied with the role of the victim, she is ready to endure humiliating treatment;
desire to dominate and dominate the family;
depression and stress caused by everyday and financial problems;
presence of mental illness.

A man is not always to blame for psychological violence; a woman’s behavior can provoke such a state when she allows the manifestation of a negative impact.

Psychological violence in the family

Most often, psychological domestic violence in the family affects the weaker half of humanity. This form of violent action is the most common of all types of violence that occurs in the family. Quite often, individuals towards whom it manifests itself do not understand that they are victims.

Domestic violence - what to do? It must be remembered that psychological action of a violent nature is today considered a crime. Its manifestations include various insults and personal humiliation, which over time will only worsen and intensify.

Psychological violence is often called emotional violence. Most often, women and children are typical victims of domestic violence. However, the weaker half can also act as a psychological abuser in family relationships. One of the forms of family violence is considered to be moral intimidation and threats, which consist of using vulgar words towards the victim, using blackmail and threats, destroying household appliances, forcing them to watch shocking scenes, etc.

So, psychological family violence is the influence on the thought processes, behavior or physical state of an individual without her consent, using means of interpersonal communications. Common means of psychological influence include threats, insults and mental harassment.

Often when violent acts occur, the victim may not even be aware of it. The person towards whom violent actions are carried out may not understand that they go beyond the norm. The situation may also be aggravated by the fact that in the periods between attacks of anger, the “psychological abuser” shows himself as a caring, gentle and loving partner.

Victims of domestic violence are often depressed, they are prone to anxiety, and they are often overcome by thoughts of suicide. People who are victims of violence are generally quite withdrawn, characterized by low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.

Typical behavior that qualifies as a psychological action of a violent nature is humiliation, neglect, ridicule of a partner in front of strangers, contempt, disregard for the partner’s opinion and his work; total control, prevention of any contact with family and friends; imposing views on who to be friends with, where to meet friends; pressure on a partner, unfounded accusations, screaming, deprivation of children, money or other material and non-material benefits; threats, aggressive behavior, destruction of a partner’s belongings; denial of guilt for causing harm, duplicity - in the family the partner is a tyrant, but in public a friendly, well-mannered person.

Psychological violence is a fairly common phenomenon in society. But often people living near the victim of such behavior do not notice the violent actions. This happens because victims are ashamed to admit it and are afraid to complain to anyone.

If you notice the following actions in your partner’s behavior, then this is a signal to think about whether you are a victim of psychological terror.

Signs of domestic violence:

- the partner often falls into uncontrollable rage with or without cause;

- the spouse suffers from excessive suspicion, in particular, constantly suspects of treason;

- the partner is subject to mood swings, which affect daily life together;

- any social interactions without his participation are prohibited;

- the partner inspires fear;

- threatens to kill you if you leave him.

Psychological domestic violence in the family is considered difficult to recognize. And it's even more difficult to prove.

The problem of psychological violence in the family lies in the cunning manipulation by which one partner convinces the other that he cannot do anything and is worthless.

First of all, in order to call violence violence, it is important to define it

Let's do it.

Relationship abuse or domestic violence is a type of aggressive behavior and the use of physical dominance to cause harm. Manifestations of violence can range from verbal abuse, threats to beatings and sexual assault.

Physical violence

often present in stable married couples and in couples with children. We are talking about the type of families that are recognized in society as prosperous and corresponding to the norm. Women who are abused, including physical violence, are characterized by increased patience and readiness to repeatedly forgive the offender.

This patience is due to various reasons. Sometimes these are characteristics of upbringing, fear of the economic consequences of parting with the offender, maybe fear that the father will stop communicating with the children, sometimes pity and sympathy for the offender, the belief in the inevitability of the loss of respect and status of a married woman in society.

Sexual violence in a couple

in relation to women, it includes sex without mutual consent, against desire, with the use of physical force, threats, intimidation, forced sexual intercourse after beating, sex as a means of humiliation and insult.

Sexual violence often accompanies any domestic violence. It is more hidden compared to other types of violence.

The reason for this can be considered stereotypical social beliefs, according to which in Russia, as in many other countries of the world with a patriarchal culture, marriage is regarded as giving a man the absolute right to have sexual intercourse with his wife and to use force if she does not want to engage in sexual contact.

The social and cultural causes of sexual violence are based primarily on the rigid separation of the roles of men and women in a couple.

Sexual violence is much more likely to occur in cultures where male and female roles are sharply divided and where men hold power. In societies where gender relations are more equal, sexual violence occurs less frequently.

Psychological abuse

most common. Abuse in relationships always includes psychological violence. Psychological violence is shouting, verbal abuse, harsh criticism, blackmail, threats of violence towards oneself, towards the victim, towards other persons, intimidation in the form of violence towards pets or destruction of property, stalking, complete control over the victim.

Psychological violence is also considered to be isolation of a person from social contacts and control over his activities.

Psychological violence very often manifests itself in the social isolation of a woman. Isolation is expressed in the fact that the offender consistently demands a narrowing of the social environment and minimizes the victim’s communication with other people, including the parental family, and prohibits work.

Economic violence

These are actions to limit the ability to manage money and the family budget, deprivation of the right to have your own funds and the right to dispose of them at your own discretion.

Economic violence also includes refusal to provide for and support children, concealment of income, spending family money on personal needs, independent adoption of most financial decisions, and strict control over expenses.

Women often find themselves in a situation of financial dependence on men for a number of reasons. This could be the birth of children, a partner’s ban on work, unemployment, discrimination in the labor market. However, even women who are financially independent from their spouse, who work and earn more than their partner, are not immune from domestic violence.

Often, due to social attitudes, traditions, and beliefs, the family decides that the man manages all the money, giving his wife a minimum amount for food.

If a woman’s earnings exceed a man’s earnings, this leads to additional reasons for dissatisfaction and aggression on the part of the man and guilt on the part of the woman. This is due to the traditional belief that it is unacceptable for a wife to earn more.

The economic form of violence is not perceived by many as abuse in a relationship, but it is very dangerous. Economic dependence and economic violence create conditions for further mental, physical and sexual violence to be committed with impunity. Economic dependence makes women especially vulnerable and increases the likelihood of all other types of violence.

Abuse in a relationship affects more than just the person directly being abused. In cases where violence is used only against women, children are also susceptible to “secondary victimization.” That is, witnesses to violence experience the same psychological consequences as the direct victim of violence.

In the next article “Domestic violence against women. Impact on the psyche of the victim. Part 2" we will talk about the consequences of violence against women in the family. With a detailed description of these consequences, it becomes clearer why the victim of violence cannot defend himself or leave the relationship with the abuser.

If you feel like there is some type of violence in your relationship, this is a reason to take a closer look at how your relationship works. If both partners are interested in a healthier relationship and do not want violence in their lives, there are many chances to improve this situation. You can contact a psychologist as a couple, or individually. If you decide to contact me, I will be happy to help you.

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“Relationship abuse or domestic violence. Part 1"

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“Relationship abuse or domestic violence. Part 1"

Sexual violence in the family

Domestic violence and its statistics appear disappointing to researchers. According to statistics, 50% of women and 5% of men are subject to domestic violence.

Sexual violence in the family is inextricably linked with physical violence. The causes of domestic violence can arise due to male dissatisfaction with himself, his life, inability to cope with difficulties, etc. In this way they try to assert themselves, to grow in their own eyes. Without either the opportunity or desire to realize themselves, such men are looking for various ways that can allow them to show their strength, subjugate themselves and prove their dominant position to their partner. A woman, without realizing it, can provoke a man to such an act. Her success, hardiness in the face of life’s difficulties, and strength of character gradually become the main irritant for a man. Next to such a woman, a weak man feels even more inadequate. Therefore, in order to somehow assert himself and prove to the woman who is the head of the family, he stoops to actions of an illegal nature - intimate and physical actions of a violent nature.

Sexual violence is a type of coercion that can be expressed in the form of forced touching, humiliation, intimate orientation, forced sexual intercourse and sexual acts against the victim’s wishes. Often, the weaker half of humanity is subjected to such violence. For some reason, in modern society it is generally accepted that a woman should not deny her husband sex. Many women raped by their husbands hide this fact from others; they experience a strong sense of shame, and often feel guilty for what happened. It is often quite problematic to prove the rape of a woman by her own husband.

Domestic violence - where to go? First of all, help for victims of domestic violence should be sought from family law specialists and psychologists. You can also turn to loved ones for help.

Many women can endure beatings and other abuse for years. The reasons for this may be a strong attachment to a partner, dependence on him, fear of publicity, shame, or having children together. Women often have a fear that a man, with the help of money, will be able to get the judge to leave the children with him after a divorce.

Sexual violence

In the family, in addition to physical and psychological, there is also sexual influence. Women who experience domestic violence feel humiliated, weak and worthless. A sign of sexual influence is coercion into intimacy or humiliation during sexual intercourse. The aggressor becomes a man who feels superior to his wife. During intimacy, he tries to prove the opposite. Children are also often victims of sexual violence. As adults, they develop complexes and hostility towards men. In most cases, they do not tell anyone about their problem.

Physical violence in the family

Physical violence involves direct impact on the human body. Infliction of bodily harm, beatings, beatings, and torture are types of domestic violence of a physical nature. Violent physical action may cause harm to human health. The level of physical violence varies, ranging from minor beatings to the extreme form of murder. Physical violence is quite easy to recognize based on medical examination data.

The problem of domestic violence is characterized by a gender focus. Domestic violence is often a consequence of male dominance and aggression, which are quite common in some cultures.

Many men and women perceive physical violence as an invariable attribute of “normal” family life. Often, physical violence in the family against a woman occurs in fairly stable marriages that have children, that is, in a type of family relationship that is considered normal. Wives who experience domestic violence have extreme patience and a willingness to repeatedly forgive their partner. Such patience and forgiveness may be associated with a reluctance to leave a child without a father, economic dependence on a husband, pity for him, and fear of losing the respect of society.

How Russia tried to protect women from violence

The flash mob participants are seeking consideration in the State Duma of the draft federal law “On the Prevention of Domestic Violence.” In addition to Alena Popova, lawyers Mari Davtyan and Alexey Parshin worked on it.

The draft law was submitted to parliament in 2021 by deputy Salia Murzabaeva and senator Anton Belyakov.

It has three main innovations:

definition of the concept of domestic violence and its types - economic, psychological, sexual.
Police and judicial protection orders are protective orders issued by the police or court to prevent the person accused of violence from approaching the victim.
Not only the victim, but also witnesses or other persons can report domestic violence.

The bill was returned to its initiators due to the fact that it was not accompanied by an opinion from the Russian government (this is required by the Constitution). Since then it has been in the archives.

— The hashtag #IDidn’tWantToDie appeared for a reason: it is dedicated both to women who were killed as a result of domestic violence (they did not want to die), as well as to women who are now serving time for killing a partner in self-defense from domestic violence. That is, in the interpretation: “I didn’t want to die, so I defended myself from the aggressor.” If there was a law, it would protect such women even before the death of their partner and would not force them to take extreme measures of self-defense, says Alena Popova.

She and her supporters want to collect more than 1 million signatures on a petition demanding a bill against domestic violence. In this case, the chance of its consideration by the State Duma in the first reading in the fall of 2021 increases. At the start of the flash mob (July 19), 470 thousand people signed the petition. By July 24, there were more than 600 thousand signatures.

Without hate speech, bullying, harassment and insults: feminist Lelya Nordik spoke about activism and the fight against injustice

Report “7x7”

Violence against children in the family

Statistics show that children of all ages and genders are subject to domestic violence. Many studies have proven the existence of certain risk factors that increase the likelihood of child abuse. These factors include:

- age (in 67% of cases of recorded violence, the children were under 1 year old, in 80% - 3 years old);

— 50% of cases of violent acts against children originate from childhood (parents were also subject to violence in childhood);

- domestic terror more often applies to children with various mental disorders, speech disorders, birth defects or chronic, recurrent diseases;

- stepchildren.

According to statistics, in 77% of cases children suffer from their parents, in 11% from other relatives, in 2% from people with whom there are no closely related ties, for example, nannies or stepparents.

Violence against a child is beating, various bullying, humiliation, infliction of serious injuries, bodily harm and mutilation of a child by parents or other adults. The following categories of violence are distinguished: neglect, emotional abuse, physical and sexual violence.

Neglect can be expressed in the refusal of medical or psychological assistance to the child, expulsion from home, stopping feeding, allowing him to skip school, an absolute lack of control over the child, a ban on participation in school activities, not providing the necessary things for school, etc.

Physical violence is one of the most common forms of child abuse. It involves intentionally causing physical harm to a child. May result in regular beatings, mutilation or bodily harm.

Sexual abuse of children is the third most common. It consists of inducing a child to have sexual intercourse of a genital, anal or oral nature. Also included in “no-touch” sexual abuse is child pornography.

Emotional child abuse alone is quite rare, but is considered one of the most common forms. It usually occurs in combination with other types of domestic terror against children.

Domestic violence - help

People suffering from domestic violence find it difficult to accept help from other people. Quite often they are simply afraid to ask for help, they are embarrassed, ashamed, and therefore do not resort to the help of specialized services. Often people suffering from domestic tyranny do not know where to turn.

Domestic violence - where to go? If immediate response is necessary, you should contact the police. However, the police will not resolve family conflicts that require a radical position from you. First of all, the individual himself must strive to get rid of oppression. Until you make the final decision on your own that you no longer want to be a victim, nothing will change and no one can help you.

Do not neglect communication with loved ones and friends. Even if they are unable to help, you can get psychological support, understanding and a chance to talk it out.

There are specialized organizations aimed at providing assistance to victims of terror in the family. These include crisis centers, medical and social recovery institutions, social services, etc. It is very important that the telephone numbers of organizations capable of helping are always at hand. You can provide phone numbers to children or neighbors so that if necessary, they can ask for help.

It is in providing assistance to injured participants in family relationships, in order to resolve difficult circumstances, within boundaries that will ensure the protection of life, mental state and physical health, as well as physical and mental development, the formation of the personality of minor family members that lies in legal, social and psychological protection from violence in family.

Participants in family relationships who committed violence bear administrative, civil or criminal liability. However, before the domestic tyrant bears responsibility, a lot of time will pass and a lot of mental energy will be spent.

Domestic violence - what to do? First, you should contact the police, and then a public organization where they will provide professional psychological assistance and support.

To prevent further violence, you need to submit a personal statement to the appropriate authorities, in connection with the existence of a real threat of violent acts or violence already occurring.