What does it represent?
In principle, every person has ever experienced uncertainty, confusion, anxiety and even horror before having to decide what to do next.
Especially if an extremely important issue had to be resolved. Let’s say you choose a profession, change your place of residence, job, or even tie the knot.
And it is quite natural that at such moments doubts arise about whether I will make the right choice?
After all, this will affect the rest of your life, changing it radically. And it is impossible to predict in which direction, better or worse.
But a person who has no history of mental illness will somehow try to cope with the situation.
If he is internally mature and decisive, he will listen to his desires, try to assess the likely problems and finally make a choice.
Anyone who is accustomed to avoiding responsibility and simply going with the flow will wait for the moment when everything will be resolved by itself. Or he will try to shift this work onto the shoulders of loved ones.
But a decidophobe can lose consciousness from fright. It seems that actions that are familiar to us, in terms of making decisions, cause him to have a panic attack.
And they force you to run without looking back in search of a safe place. Where you don’t have to think, weigh the pros and cons, and so on.
What is decidophobia
Decidophobia is the fear of making decisions. Sometimes this means not only the fear of making decisions, but also the fear of action.
What is a person suffering from decidophobia afraid of? A decidophobe spends hours thinking about his choice, weighing the pros and cons, but in the end he chooses nothing. He puts off making a decision until the last minute, hoping that everything will resolve itself or that someone else will make a choice for him.
Interesting! Fear of decision-making is closely related to fear of responsibility, fear of mistakes and criticism, fear of condemnation, fear of disgrace.
Impact on life and health
With a mild course of the disorder, the phobe still considers options for the development of events, thinks about what to do. At the same time, he is worried, but completely masters the stage of reflection.
But when it comes directly to active action, turning the plan into reality, he capitulates, as he “falls” into panic.
He tries in every possible way to sabotage this moment, comes up with some difficulties that make it possible to stall for time.
But in severe cases, panic begins simply at the thought of having to make a choice. Such a person is simply not able to buy clothes, cook food, or simply go shopping.
After all, every time you need to decide where exactly to go, what goods to pick up, what is worth paying for, and what is better not to pay for.
In general, decidophobia affects the quality of life, and significantly, introducing a lot of restrictions into it, regardless of the form of manifestation.
Lack of confidence in one’s abilities, as well as the thought that one is not fit for anything in this life and is not able to do anything well leads to complexes, low self-esteem and a feeling of total loneliness.
After all, failures arise one after another both in work, especially in business, and in personal, friendly relationships.
This is followed by depression and, in some cases, attempts to commit suicide. To get rid of fear, pain and other negative feelings that accompany the phobe almost around the clock.
Naturally, this destroys health, provoking the development of chronic diseases against a background of stress. A person suffers from insomnia, which depletes the body’s resources even more and leads to asthenia.
Manifestation of decidophobia
A person suffering from this anxiety disorder experiences strong emotional stress directly when it is necessary to make a decision or when thinking that the moment will come when it is necessary to make a choice. However, a decidophobe can be completely calm when thinking about approaches to a problem and when considering various options for the development of events.
Most people suffering from decidophobia do not worry when they have to make minor everyday choices (for example, which store to go to). Decidophobes often focus the attention of others on this “ability” to make decisions.
However, severe cases of the disorder are known, in which, due to pathological fear, people are unable to independently solve basic everyday problems . In such circumstances, the patient needs a permanent guardian.
In most cases, decidophobes adapt well to life in society.
People suffering from the disorder prefer positions where decisions are made by superiors or proactive colleagues. In family life, decidophobes voluntarily become dependent on their partner. Phobiaphobic men may prefer strong, older women. Representatives of the fairer sex, who do not know how to make decisions, choose caring, enterprising and strong-willed men as life partners.
Symptoms
During a panic attack, a person begins to feel dizzy and may feel nauseous, even to the point of vomiting and loss of consciousness. The heart is beating so fast that thoughts of a heart attack arise, because at the same time there is also a strong pounding in the chest.
Breathing becomes frequent and shallow, due to which the amount of oxygen in the blood becomes so large that a paradoxical thing happens - the person suffocates.
Which is even more frightening. After all, death from suffocation seems extremely painful and undesirable in principle, especially at the moment.
And getting even more frightened, he, accordingly, begins to gasp for air even more often, bringing himself to the point of hysterics. After all, the symptoms are only getting worse.
Blood pressure rises, stomach hurts, sweating increases. The brain perceives the cause of fear as a mortal danger, so it goes into “survival” mode.
Adrenaline is released into the blood so that the phobe can escape. What he happens and tries to do. Only the tunnel consciousness prevents us from adequately perceiving the surrounding reality.
A person is so absorbed in anxiety that he does not notice obstacles in his path, which is why he injures himself. For example, falling down the stairs or crashing into a wall.
There were situations when people simply “went out” out the window, their feelings were so overwhelming at such a moment that they were simply unable to orient themselves and saw only one way out, so to speak, a path to salvation from the room in which danger arose.
Errors in decision making
You put off making a decision
By postponing a decision, you risk that you will never make it. And inaction also has its adverse consequences. In addition, by constantly postponing a decision, you change the course of the situation, and therefore, it can become more complicated and escalate.
Naturally, there are cases in which it is worth postponing a decision: when further clarification of details is necessary and when it will not cause harm. Of course, a situation may arise in which you will have to constantly clarify something. The following seemingly paradoxical effect is often encountered: the longer you deal with a problem, the more the need for such clarification increases.
Matthias Nelke, “Learning to make decisions. Fast, accurate, correct"
You make a decision right away
Apart from critical situations where a decision must be made immediately, emotional impulses can have adverse consequences. Remember. that emotions and intuition are different things.
You can't separate the important from the less important
After analyzing the problem and thinking through different options for the development of events, you cannot determine which of these matters to you.
Causes
Overprotection
Fear of decision-making usually occurs among those people who are not used to dealing with problems on their own. For one simple reason - other people did it instead of them.
Parents, due to their characteristics and life experience, psychological trauma, literally deprive their child of the opportunity to live fully, independently.
They are so eager to keep him out of trouble that they do all his work for him. As if pitying, protecting.
In their perception, this is called love and care. In fact, this is a so-called “disservice” that does not allow the baby to develop.
And if at first he makes attempts to be indignant, to rebel, then he humbles himself, focusing on the benefit.
After all, he doesn’t need to do anything, everything happens as if by magic. All you have to do is cry, get upset, complain, and so on, and excited adults will come running and make things right. It doesn't matter at what cost.
Such overprotection does not bring happiness, but provokes the development of infantilism and, naturally, decilophobia.
The task of every parent is not just to protect their child from failures and difficulties, far from it.
The task is to teach him to overcome obstacles on his own, listen to himself, remaining true to his identity, and also take responsibility for the consequences of his choices and actions.
Life is an unpredictable thing. What should this child do if suddenly his over-caring parents no longer exist? Who will decide instead of him what he needs and how he should act to realize what he wants?
It is precisely the loss of guardians who provided vital functions that leads to phobias.
Since a person who is physically mature, but mentally completely immature, receives enormous stress and trauma, left alone with his problems.
Authoritarian parenting style
And there is a situation completely opposite to overprotection - this is authoritarianism and cruelty towards the child.
When parents are not at all interested in what their child wants, what he likes and what he doesn’t, this can also provoke decidophobia.
The baby has no choice but to resign himself, submit and forget about his needs and characteristics for the sake of survival. After all, every attempt to disobey ends in punishment, both emotional and physical.
If the requirements are too high, the same consequences are observed. The child is afraid to make a mistake, because he knows what will follow.
This is why he prefers to unconditionally follow any instructions, without showing initiative, so as not to accidentally get into trouble.
If adults do not consider it necessary to encourage, praise, but only criticize and condemn. Where does the desire to do something come from?
Such a child will believe that he is not capable of anything in this life. Therefore, if he needs to make a decision, he will panic, because in any case he will choose the wrong option and everyone will know how insignificant it is.
Just imagine the shame he has to deal with. So it is not surprising that excessive stress subsequently affects the mental state.
Ambition
Only the ambition of not the child, but his parents, can provoke the emergence of a phobia. This is when parents perceive their children as extensions of themselves too literally.
That is, they strive to make up for their losses and limitations at their expense. Used as a crutch.
For example, my mother wanted to become a ballerina, but it didn’t work out. And, having given birth to a daughter, she, despite her desires to study karate or chess, will be forced to take her to ballet. And force you to practice positions, jumps, and so on from morning to night.
Having determined the future of his child and not giving him the opportunity to do it on his own, the adult seems to be depriving him of his life. If only because he won’t spend it the way he wanted.
Have you heard about stories when a person achieved tremendous success, became a millionaire, very famous, but never felt happiness?
Why did he commit suicide, or chose another, slow method of suicide - drugs, alcohol in large quantities, and so on. One of the possible outcomes of events may well be a mental disorder.
Treatment
Decidophobia is a mental disorder that requires treatment and monitoring. Willpower and the words “calm down” are not enough to just relax and, moreover, forget about your fears.
Therefore, you should definitely consult a specialist. In case of a mild stage, go to a psychotherapist.
If you understand that things have gone too far, and you have limited your social circle, quit, lost your source of income, in general, you experience failure after failure, you need to consult a psychiatrist to undergo comprehensive treatment.
That is, he will prescribe the necessary medications that will help improve your well-being. For example, they will relieve insomnia, or anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Relax the nervous system and stabilize the emotional state.
Cognitive psychotherapy, hypnosis and gestalt therapy have shown good results in the fight against decidophobia. Group work allows you to feel supported.
After all, it usually seems to a phobe that he is the only one in the world who is so strange and fearful, abnormal.
During the therapy process, he will be able to share his experience of how to cope with fears of decision-making, and listen to what helps others in this difficult state to find peace and take control of the situation into their own hands.
Recommendations
- Practice meditation and breathing techniques for relaxation. This way you will learn to feel your body, harmony within and calmness.
- Try to visualize a favorable outcome of events more often. As soon as you notice that panic appears, immediately begin to imagine something pleasant that causes joy, happiness, or at least a smile.
- Praise yourself even for taking a tiny step towards recovery. In this matter, maximalism will not help you at all.
- Watch your loved ones and friends. How do they cope with difficulties? How do they understand what they want? As a last resort, contact them for help. Just not so that they do some piece of work instead of you, but so that they share their experience of how they succeed.
- Every night before going to bed, try to concentrate on your body. What's going on in it? Maybe your legs ache, your back hurts, or your heel itches? When you can listen to your feelings without caution, move to the next level - try to notice what feelings you are experiencing. Then set the bar higher - be aware of your desires. This way, over time, planning and listening to yourself will seem like a normal task rather than a mortal danger.
Theta healing. The Palette of Life with Vasilena Zhuravina
What do you think can hinder the fear of making wrong decisions? The answer may shock you: most people don't succeed because they have this fear.
Many people face one serious problem - fear of change, fear of making wrong decisions and making their own point of view. This instinctive fear can ruin our lives; it distorts our view of ourselves and the people around us.
Be that as it may, fear is just a programmed emotion that arises automatically in response to potential danger - sometimes imaginary and rarely justified.
Unfortunately, many of us are faced with unhealthy fears. It is because of these fears that we limit ourselves from achieving great heights in life. It is unhealthy fear that is the cause of most unfulfilled desires and unfulfilled ideas.
1. Look beyond the danger. When faced with potential danger, we begin to panic, which in turn causes us to make poor decisions or run away from responsibility. Often we don’t even think that the fear we are experiencing at the moment is not justified. We begin to build mental images in our heads of a negative outcome of the situation, and this prevents us from making the right decisions. To avoid this: Take a deep breath and think about all the possible consequences and the implications of those consequences. Most likely, everything is not as bad as we thought at the beginning.
2. Positive attitude. We have enough strength to cope with any problems, and nothing can stop us. Try to have a positive attitude towards any situation. Look at it from all sides, especially the positive side. Of course, no one is asking you to look for something good in a very deplorable situation. But in everyday problems, try to be more optimistic.
3. Expand your comfort zone. There are three important zones for us: the comfort zone, the learning zone and the panic zone. All this can be represented in the form of circles. The center circle will represent the comfort zone, the middle circle will be the exploration zone, and the third outer circle will represent the panic zone. Scientists have proven that the edge of our comfort zone is the best place to learn and grow. As long as we are “inside”, everything is fine, but when faced with a completely unfamiliar situation, we begin to panic. We must learn to behave correctly in a new situation, and learn to make decisions without fear, even if they are not the right decisions. With practice and training, over time you will expand your comfort zone.
4. If you want to refuse, take a step forward. Let fear and doubts torment you, let your inner critic scream at the top of your lungs, preventing you from making decisions, no matter what, take a step forward. By doing this, you will expand your boundaries, making uncomfortable situations comfortable. You never know if you will succeed if you don't try. Therefore, be bolder and make mistakes, make decisions, become stronger.
5. Don't avoid or put off tasks and activities. Often people put off or delay solving certain tasks only because they are afraid of the outcome. But why put it off, because you will have to do it anyway, then it won’t get easier, you will only complicate the situation. Pressure and tension increase over time, so stop putting off or avoiding tasks and start doing everything on time. This will help you feel more confident.
Stop being afraid of making the wrong decisions, you never know if it's actually the right one, and if you don't try, what will come of it?
Are you looking forward to new opportunities? Was it worth it then to miss the previous opportunity without even trying to grab it?
Share the material with your friends using the social network buttons!
