How to get rid of melancholy: psychological techniques, work plans, recommendations

In psychology, melancholy is considered to be a whole complex of strong negative emotions, in which we can distinguish mental longing, anxiety, sadness, boredom, despair, bad mood, hopelessness, and painful despondency. A person in such a state cannot find a place for himself, it is as if something is gnawing him from the inside, he feels alone in this world and completely lost.

Not only sleep and appetite disappear, but also the desire to do something, go somewhere, communicate with someone. The reasons can be different: parting with a loved one, death of a loved one, the desire to return to the past, living away from home and family, etc. If you do not look for a way out of this situation, in the future it leads to protracted and deep depression. There are different ways and techniques to get rid of melancholy. The main thing is to find the strength to use them.

For what? For what?

If a person is overcome by spiritual anguish, he constantly asks himself the same question: “Why?” It seems to him that the whole world has turned against him, that fate is unfair to him, that he is the only one so unhappy. He begins to think about why he was abandoned (betrayed, exiled, excommunicated, fired, etc.), gradually overthinks himself and comes to the conclusion that he became a victim of some kind of evil fate, this is what the unknown Higher powers decided, such is his lot, which he cannot change, as a result he gives up, there is no desire to fight.

To get rid of the feeling of melancholy, first of all you need to get rid of obsessive thoughts and stop asking this rhetorical question, which creates a dead end. How to do it:

use a visualization method: imagine a red panic button with the inscription “For what?” and mentally forbid yourself to press it;
paraphrase it into “For what?” (“Why?”, “What has changed?”) and try to answer it first - to yourself, and then - on paper;
distribute the recorded answers into 2 columns - positive and negative consequences;
think about this more often and fill the columns daily.

If you apply this method correctly, after a week the question “Why?” will disappear from my head. After all, it will be replaced by another - the light at the end of the tunnel, the way out of the dead end, the sun among the clouds. But the work doesn't end there. In order to finally free yourself from the melancholy in your soul, you need to more often re-read the column in which the positive consequences of the event that caused this state are recorded. If you focus on them, you will gradually realize that everything is not as bad as it initially seemed.

For example, a girl suffering from lovesickness cannot understand for a long time why (“Why?”) her boyfriend left her. What thoughts come to her mind:

"I `m ugly";
"I am fat";
“I have a potato nose”;
“I don’t have an apartment”;
“I don’t suit him in bed”;
“he feels bad with me”, etc.

As a result, internal complexes are formed. In fact, the reason for the separation may lie in something completely different (this most often happens). To get rid of the melancholy, which only intensifies from all these thoughts, she should answer another question - “For what?”:

to have more free time;
so as not to cry from his eternal delays and inattention;
so as not to be afraid of losing him anymore;
so as not to suffer from attacks of jealousy;
to truly find your person who will never leave or betray, etc.

Understanding that everything that is done is for the better will help you survive the longing for your loved one, but already an “ex.” You just need to let go of the situation and stop holding on to relationships that have already ended. This technique is taken from the psychology of positive thinking. It will allow you to leave the past and start living from scratch - without despondency, anxiety and disappointment.

How to deal with melancholy and depression?

The explanatory dictionary of S. Yu. Ozhegov and N. V. Shvedova gives the following definition of melancholy: “Melancholy is mental anxiety, despondency. To make someone sad. Melancholy takes over. Longing in someone's eyes, in someone's gaze. Homesickness". It appears when something is missing in life, when you want something inaccessible or forbidden. It could be longing for someone dear to you who is currently unavailable. Or maybe this state of mind is associated with dissatisfaction with one’s life. You know, when you want a lot, but there are no means or strength to achieve the goal.

“Depression (from Latin depressio - depression) is a depressed state of mind; in a psychological sense - a depressed state, melancholy, sad mood.” A person experiences, first of all, difficult, painful emotions and experiences - depression, even despair. Typical thoughts are about one’s own responsibility for unpleasant, difficult events that have occurred in the life of a person or his loved ones. Feelings of guilt for past events and a sense of helplessness in the face of difficulties are combined with a feeling of futility. Self-esteem is sharply reduced.

Depression comes for the same reasons as sadness. But here everything is much deeper and more serious. It is very difficult to defeat her on her own. Depression can last for months, years, subside a little and recur with renewed vigor. Probably it all depends on the strength of character and temperament of a person. It will completely absorb a weak-willed person, and it cannot be done without medical help. A strong person will not be tormented by melancholy and depression for a long time if the person is an optimist. Cheerful people go through life with their heads held high. And if something or someone “unsettles” them, it won’t last long. All the same, love for life and joy will prevail.

How I want to be the kind of person who approaches life easily and simply, who approaches problems and failures with irony. How to learn this? I don’t think that a gray environment and eternally dissatisfied people surrounding you will be good companions in the fight against melancholy and depression. You need to get rid of negativity in life. Don't let sad emotions overwhelm you. Make every effort to distract yourself, and then the melancholy will subside.

Here are some ways to get rid of these ailments:

1. Get rid of all negative thoughts and things that spoil your mood from your head. It's not easy, but it's worth a try. If you don’t want to ruin the lives of not only yourself, but also those around you.

2. If possible, exclude from your life those people who evoke melancholy and bring depression into your life. Without regret, part with those who really do not correspond to you in spirit and inner world.

3. Remember those moments in your life that were most memorable and that always lifted your spirits. And I think there are enough of these in every person’s life. Look through old photographs, remember how much fun you had with friends and family, how many times there were times when you laughed until you dropped.

4. Invite your favorite friends to visit, organize a fun party. Your loved ones will always support you in difficult times only if they are actually close friends to you.

5. Turn on your favorite music. Even if she's sad, it doesn't matter. Have a cry. Tears can also be a saving grace. They appear from an overabundance of feelings. Like an overflowing vat of water. When it is full, the water pours out. So it is with a person. When feelings overwhelm him and can no longer be controlled, they pour out through tears. And it gets easier.

6. Find something to do. Do what you love. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you like it. Dance, cook something delicious. And to hell with the diet. Play your favorite instrument. Even if it’s someone’s nerves. We need to give vent to our energy and emotions.

Filling the void

The psychological technique of right and wrong questions described above does not always work. Especially when you are tormented by despondency and sadness from the loss of a loved one. In such a situation, a technique for filling the void that is formed with loss will help.

Previously, we shared joy and sorrow with him, walked and traveled together, helped each other, understood each other perfectly. When he disappears, the ideal world that was held together by two collapses. Unbearable loneliness hits you headlong. There is nowhere to go, no one to talk to, no one wants to see, no one can understand.

You can get rid of the feeling of loneliness only by gradually filling the resulting emptiness. Psychologists immediately warn: alcohol, drugs, dubious companies, daily parties - all these are pseudo-pleasures that allow you to forget only for a while. They should be abandoned immediately.

What can you do to fill the void?

go on a trip: psychologists say that new positive emotions and a change of environment are the best way to get rid of melancholy;
find a pleasant company, don’t be alone, try to constantly be with someone who is nice, unobtrusive and not annoying;
do what you like: hobbies, sports, volunteering and other things that will bring satisfaction;
throw yourself into work so that there is no extra time left for longing for the past;
to care for someone: a child, an old person, a pet, a sick or suffering person.

The main thing is not to feel guilty before the deceased person, as if you are betraying him by continuing to live. This technique works slowly but surely. It can also be used in cases where hopelessness and sadness are associated with other events: separation, loneliness, a feeling of uselessness, etc.

What does sadness lead to?

In the Russian language there is an outdated expression “I feel sick”, which implies intense melancholy, from which even one’s well-being deteriorates. This insidious feeling can really affect health and even lead to chronic diseases. Therefore, it is necessary to find a way to get rid of melancholy at the first signs of its appearance.

Melancholy should not be confused with ordinary sadness. Fleeting sadness may arise from a minor upset. Melancholy is a dangerous state. Plunging into a state of melancholy, a person risks significantly aggravating his own situation and falling into prolonged depression.

"Gold fish"

All people have at least once dreamed of a goldfish appearing in their life and fulfilling all their desires. Melancholy is exactly the state when it’s finally time to turn this fantasy into reality. What is the point of this technique? The problem is that a person crushed by hopelessness has practically no goals, aspirations, or hopes. All he wants is to be left alone and not be annoyed with unnecessary worries and stupid questions. As a rule, with the advent of despondency, time seems to freeze: career, development of personal relationships, communication with friends, self-improvement - everything freezes. This happens precisely because of the lack of desires.

They need to be awakened within yourself. As soon as you want something bright, good, positive, it means the ice has broken. But how to do that? To begin with, write down what could please you at the moment. Then distribute everything into two columns: positive and negative.

For example:

Write down in the columns everything that comes to mind - even the wildest and most unrealizable fantasies. At this stage, the main thing is to find them in yourself. Fill out the tablet for 3-4 days, catching desires and remembering what you love and what brings you true pleasure. Now is the time to give them to the goldfish for sale. Proceed according to the following algorithm:

Re-read the column with negative desires. Realize that each of them brings false pleasure.
Tear this part of the sheet and throw it away (burn it/throw it to the wind).
Re-read the column with positive desires.
Choose from them the one that can be implemented right now without any problems.
Make sure that it will truly become a source of positive emotions for you.

Give the goldfish the task of making your chosen wish come true. Have you already guessed that you will play it yourself? Go and buy yourself a bucket of ice cream. Turn on a funny comedy and eat your favorite treat while listening to it. The main thing is to feel this moment, catch a little happiness, remember a pleasant moment, and be filled with positive emotions. This is the first step to getting rid of melancholy.

Tomorrow go for a walk, the day after tomorrow play your favorite online strategy game. Then take on more difficult desires. Do you want to be understood? Then you need to open up to someone, and for this you will at least have to go out into society and start communicating. Have you always dreamed of buying a pug? So what's the deal? After all, you are a goldfish yourself. Get a job, climb the career ladder, save money - and soon you won’t have to get rid of boredom yourself. After all, a little fluffy bundle of happiness will do a great job with it.