Reasons for indecisiveness
Plan:
- Reasons for indecisiveness - How to quickly gain determination: 5 effective tips - Make up your mind! A four-part system - 6 ways to act without hesitation - How to become a decisive person: a step-by-step plan - The main principle without which you cannot become a decisive person! - Conclusion
Having realized your indecision, the first thing you should do is analyze its origins.
Reasons for indecisiveness may include:
1) Fear. For example, your indecisiveness may be caused by the fear of being rejected when meeting a girl, when applying for a job, or when applying for a competition.
2) Lack of faith in success. This usually happens because numerous relatives or friends begin to escalate the situation and tell you about the failure of the event.
3) Lack of understanding of the final result. This means you simply chose the wrong or wrong goal.
Understand what's stopping you
Before answering this question for yourself, you should understand what exactly prevents you from being decisive and self-confident. It is necessary to carefully analyze all the motives of behavior when there is a retreat at those moments when you need to take a decisive step.
- Low self-esteem. It is based on the fear of criticism of decisions from outside, ridicule. There is a constant fear of doing something wrong, of making a mistake.
- When faced with a problem, even not a very complex one, there is a desire to let everything take its course, expecting that the problem will be solved by someone else or that it will resolve itself.
- There is a thought in the subconscious that it is really impossible to do anything right. This feeling was born in childhood, when adults instilled in the child that any action or decision he made on his own was wrong.
From this childhood feeling of the wrongness of one’s actions, another feeling develops: everyone around is doing everything right, only your actions are absolutely wrong and lead to irreparable consequences. Such sensations can lead to some serious neurosis. How to become a decisive person in this case will be suggested by some tips that will allow you to rectify the situation if you follow them.
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How to quickly gain determination: 5 effective tips
Tip 1. Imagine what you will lose if you don’t do what you have planned. If you can’t decide on something, imagine the consequences of the decision you make, feel the taste of a successful outcome. Then think about the situation as if you had abandoned your plan.
Feel the bitterness of loss and the luck slipping out of your sight. Now pull yourself together and do what you have in mind!
Tip 2. Set a specific goal. Without a specific goal setting, you are unlikely to ever achieve results. So at this stage, think carefully about what you really want to achieve?
By the way, your goal should be cherished and sound nothing less than “I CAN DO ANYTHING!”
If you just reflect and think, why not, nothing will come of it! You must passionately want something with all your heart and firmly believe in the success of the event.
If everyone around you doubts your success, stop sharing your plans for the future with them.
Tip 3. One hundred percent faith in success And although this advice partially repeats the previous one, it would not hurt to repeat it.
Know that if you do not believe in the success of your event, then you will never become decisive.
Tip 4: Let go of fear. Remember, fear will always pull you back. Therefore, at this stage, learn to fight your fear and look it in the eyes. Or you can use your fear to your advantage.
Tip 5 . Take the first step Have you noticed how easy it is to do something if it has already been started? But how difficult it was to start this business!
Knowing this simple truth, use it constantly. Even if you are afraid or embarrassed, tell yourself that it’s only scary at the beginning and boldly take the first step.
Read the article “How to understand what I want.”
How to become bolder and more decisive
Every person has the ability to perform elementary analysis, since this ability is inherent at the level of instinct. Because without analysis it is simply impossible to plan your current life. In the case of an indecisive person, this ability to analyze is greatly underestimated, but it exists. And we must definitely resort to this method of knowing ourselves and figure out whether the criticism is fair, and whether the critic himself is not guilty of the same thing that he accuses. There are several tips on how to become firm and decisive.
- As a rule, when faced with a situation where a decision needs to be made, the first thought of a complex person is what bad things will come from the decision made. This fetters all actions and forces you to abandon the need to firmly stand on the right path. When making a decision, you must initially imagine what positive results will follow and not think at all about the negative ones, as if they do not exist. That is, you need to think not about what bad things will happen, but about what could be better than it was.
- You have to really want what it takes to make a responsible decision. For example, the desire to learn a foreign language, the realization that this will help in a future career. Despite the fact that everyone around says that it is impossible to master a language without improving in it throughout your school life. The surest way to get rid of critics is to stop telling them about your plans and go towards your intended goal.
- The key to success is faith. In your own strength, in the ability to carry out your plans. Faith is something that is completely inexplicable from the point of view of reason. But in any human undertaking, be it business or the desire to build a flying model of an airplane, without the belief that this can be accomplished, nothing will work out.
- Get rid of fear. This feeling accompanies any decision. But you can use fear to your advantage simply by looking into its eyes. Of course, this is a figurative expression, but in this case, having calculated all the dangers, knowing what awaits, relying on faith in success, you can overcome fear.
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Make up your mind! Four-piece system
1) Don't waste time and effort on small things. The decision-making process is often tedious and drains all your resources. The more you invest, the more empty you feel. So, if you have a big life decision to make, try to spend as little time and effort as possible on everything else.
2) Answer yourself the question: what kind of life do you want to live? “It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” Roy Disney
Knowing what you want is one of the main things that can help you become decisive.
You have to figure out what kind of life you want to live; you should clearly define your goal. Take paper and pen and write, write, write until the answer becomes clear to you.
After everything is ready, put your creation aside and wait three days, and then re-read what you wrote again. If things still haven’t cleared up, give yourself a break for another three days. As a rule, after such a long immersion in the essence of the issue, the desired direction becomes more or less clear to you.
This technique doesn't just apply to life in general. You can also ask yourself what kind of people you want around you, what kind of job you want to get, or what kind of relationships will make you happy.
3) Learn to manage your fears Often we are indecisive because we are afraid of the negative consequences that may materialize if we make a decision. Some fears are irrational, some fears are justified, but one thing is important: if you leave everything to chance, you will not win.
Learn to manage your fears. Write them down on paper, evaluate them, and if you realize that they are justified, then make yourself a detailed plan that will help you avoid turning your fears into reality. You should never let your fears influence your decision.
4) Monitor your physical condition. If you are tired, want to eat, sleep or feel unwell, do not try to make important decisions, but wait until better times, if possible.
Use Descartes' square to make decisions.
How to become more decisive and quicker in decision making
We must make decisions every day, which means our lives depend on their quality. But sometimes we refuse or delay, which only makes the situation worse. In short, three things are important: speed, determination and quality. If all this is present, then your life can be called successful.
All of the following advice is given by entrepreneurs who are familiar first-hand with the need to make decisions (especially in tough conditions). Perhaps some of them will help you both in your professional and personal life.
Sometimes good is perfect
Think about the meaning of this phrase for a moment. If you don't find any meaning in it, think about it a little more. Remember situations from the past. Think about how you can apply this knowledge in the future.
When you seek perfection, you waste valuable time and opportunities. Sometimes you just have to stop and tell yourself, “This is good enough.”
- You are launching a new product
- Produce something
- Are you thinking about writing a book or article?
- Making a presentation
- Do you do marketing?
When you have made a product 6, 7 or 8 out of 10, this is often enough.
If this intimidates you, remember: all the entrepreneurs you compete with face the same time constraint. If they make decisions slowly and you make decisions quickly, then you win.
Avoid the status quo
When we refuse to decide, that is also a decision. When stuck, ask yourself: Will I maintain the status quo or move forward? All decisions involve costs. Usually what holds you back is either fear or lack of information. Get all the information you need and don't be afraid to bet on yourself.
Create a long-term perspective
Take as much time as necessary to develop a long-term perspective. Why? Because when you have it, all daily decisions are made several times easier and faster.
This way you will know that every little decision you make will either move you in the right direction or become an important lesson to be learned.
Take your time
Despite the title of the article, sometimes it is important not to rush into decisions. Let's say you feel like you're just getting ready to make a decision, so don't let anyone rush you. Consider the difference: do not put it off indefinitely, but take time for a little reflection.
Make a plan: why, how and what
It is much easier to make a decision when you are crystal clear on what you are trying to achieve, why you are trying to achieve it, and how you plan to achieve it. Your mission (why), values and strategies (how), and metrics (what) serve as guides and filters for your decision making.
With this formula, many questions answer themselves.
Understand the root cause of your hesitation
Ask yourself whether the reason for hesitation is fear (not feeling prepared and unable) or anxiety ( not feeling prepared and capable). If it's fear, take small steps. Learn from everyone and iterate quickly. Let the steps be small, but fast. This makes it possible to create true self-confidence.
If it's anxiety, burn all bridges. Put yourself in a situation where there is nothing else to do but make a decision.
Give up the pursuit of perfection
The most important:
- Selecting options
- Feedback measurement
- Fast learning
Remember: there are no perfect plans or perfect solutions. So choose what you have and go for it.
Make big decisions in 5-10 minutes
Give yourself a time limit of 5-10 minutes and make a decision. During this time, you can go to a search engine and find any information you want. Or call someone. Anything, but in 10 minutes the decision must be made. Then ask yourself what the worst case scenario is for the best solution. Will you be able to live with him if this happens? If yes, then accept it.
Break decisions into small pieces
Break one big decision into several small ones so that you can test, evaluate and change them if necessary. You will also reduce risk and be able to adapt faster.
Assess the worst and best that can happen. Make a decision and don't look back
Start with a simple assessment: what's the worst that could happen? And what is the ideal end result? Then make a decision and either sink or swim. At least you've made a decision. Being an entrepreneur means you are a leader, and no one wants to see a weak leader. Speed is power.
Get rid of small decisions
Remove a few decisions from your life so you can focus on the most important ones. Don't waste valuable mental energy on small things. Hire a chef or order healthy food delivery to reduce the time you spend going to the cafe. Wear the same clothes. In general, eliminate small decisions from your life.
We wish you good luck!
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- How to learn to make decisions
- OODA Decision Cycle
- When to decide to act
- Enemies of good decisions
- How to make the right decisions: effective practices
- How to make the right decisions
- Decision Making: A Brief Guide
- The best blog content in 2021: time management and productivity
- How to overcome decision fatigue
- Steve Pavlina's Questions for Making Tough Decisions
Key words:1Psychoregulation
How to become a determined person: a step-by-step plan
Step 1. The first thing we need to start with is to understand and decide why and why we become decisive. Imagine in your mind, or better yet, write down what will change in your life when you become a decisive person.
Do not spare paper, write everything you think about this matter. When the list is large, decide on the most important thing that you really need from life. Then you can become decisive.
Step 2. When you have clearly decided what you need and have chosen a goal. Start an action plan. Just make a weekly schedule for yourself to become determined. And try to make the tasks more difficult and complete them every day. This way you can gradually become a determined and successful person.
Step 3: Solve problems when they first appear. You can even keep a separate notebook where you will write down problems that arise and cross out those that have already been solved. This way you will be able to deal with all your problems much faster, which will help you become a decisive person.
Step 4: Make a list of goals. Goals are a very good incentive in life. Make a list of goals for the coming year and try to achieve them as quickly and clearly as possible. The main thing is to try to achieve your goals so that you don’t return to them again.
Overcoming Fears
Fear is the most serious test for anyone who is thinking about how to become a decisive person. Fears appear as an inner voice, generating doubts in the mind, fettering physical and mental activity.
Avoiding fear will not help you overcome the problem. Avoidance drives complexes even deeper. The only way to deal with fears is to face them and overcome them. If a person overcomes fear several times, then he is no longer afraid of it. Conquering fear builds self-confidence and sows the seeds of leadership thinking.
A person making a plan to become firm and decisive must identify a list of his fears. Maximum sincerity is needed in this matter. Memories of missed opportunities, if there were any, will help you realize your fears. It is important not to allow excuses when talking to yourself, then all fears and complexes will appear on the surface. Knowing your enemy by sight makes it much easier to win.
The main principle without which you cannot become an active person!
Some qualities in a person are developed in paradoxical ways. Determination is one of them. To become decisive, you need to act counter-intuitively—you need to make fewer decisions.
Ignorance of this principle has turned many people into failures. Decisions should be made as rarely as possible, preferably once. Decisiveness is a skill that allows you not to return to your decisions.
Let's say you decide to start running in the evenings. After three weeks of running, you already feel great, your head is clearer and your goal has been achieved. The decision to run every day is no longer relevant. Moreover, it started to rain... How would an indecisive person behave? He will make a decision - “enough is enough, I don’t need this anymore!” Error.
What would a determined person do? He will not make any new decisions. Without a second thought, he will put on a windbreaker, sneakers, and a player in his ears and will enjoy the freshness on the street and the vigor of his mind inside.
It is necessary to register it at the subconscious level - you only finished making decisions when you closed it. While you are returning to it, weighing and thinking about whether you are right, you are showing indecision. By changing your mind, you show indecisiveness. By applying different solutions to the same situations, you also show indecisiveness.
The nature of indecision is obvious - most people pay more attention to changing circumstances rather than to the chosen system.
As a result, in the short term, their decisions look correct and sometimes absolutely justified, but in the long term, the vector of their actions lines up in a multidirectional curve.
To become a determined person you need to learn to do just two things:
1) Make decisions 2) And not return to them again
One might reasonably think, “What if the decision was made incorrectly? Am I supposed to go in the wrong direction all my life?” Here we must remember that even the worst system is much better than no system. If you are tormented by the question of a possible error, then, firstly, you are again showing indecisiveness, and secondly, you have not set a schedule for re-examining your solution.
When deciding to pursue a particular course of action, you must first decide when you can reconsider that decision. Set a date before which you cannot not only change your mind, but question your previous decision. Those. if you decide to run, you must initially decide - I will run for six months without excuses and doubts, I will enter the regime and only after 6 months I can cancel my decision. As a result, within 6 months you will be in a state of confidence and the correctness of the chosen course.
If you do this, then these six months can be the best six months of your life, because you will live them with confidence. Both results and quality of life will increase tenfold. You will stop being nervous, lazy and even jealous. And only six months later, your decision can be consciously revised, and not canceled by momentary weakness or pressure of circumstances.
When a person becomes truly determined, his life becomes much easier. He stops tormenting himself with doubts and thereby frees up a huge number of brain cells. Now he no longer thinks “Am I capable of achieving my goal?”, now he begins to direct all his thoughts to the question: “How can I achieve my goal?”
I’ll summarize all of the above with a rule: to become a decisive person, you don’t need to make 100% correct decisions, you need to make decisions 100% correctly.
Also read the article on how to make the right choice.
Make decisions on the fly
We don't always have time to sit down and think. Sometimes you have to make decisions on the fly. It's harder to make the right choices when you're under pressure, but there are a few things that can help.
Be ready. You, of course, cannot know exactly what choices you will face in life. But you can prepare yourself for what to do in different situations. Try to keep abreast of all important processes at work. In relationships with the opposite sex, think about how you see them in the future, and what you will say if your girlfriend demands more commitment from you. Learn valuable skills that will come in handy in the event of an emergency. Practice skills that are important in your life, so that if you are suddenly faced with an important decision, you don't have to think about it as much. Your preparation will speak for itself.
Pay attention to your digestive system. Several scientific studies have shown that our stomach begins to bother us even before our brain understands what is happening. So trust your stomach. But make sure that it does not send false messages, which can only be verified in practice.
We are often so busy, so stressed that such signals do not even reach us. You must learn to calm your mind and determine the state of your inner compass.
