Divorcing spouses, especially those with minor children, have to endure moral difficulties and resolve many legal issues. If you have to overcome the first ones on your own, then a divorce lawyer will help you solve the second ones quickly and without any problems.
When divorce is impossible
The Family Code of Russia (Article 17) provides for situations when spouses cannot divorce. For example, a man cannot divorce his pregnant wife, nor until the baby is one year old.
In practice, this provision means that after the birth of a child, only the wife has the right to file an application for divorce, or she must give documented consent to the divorce to her spouse. During pregnancy, the courts, as a rule, have great difficulty agreeing to satisfy the claim, while giving a long period for reconciliation of the parties.
If the spouses still decide to divorce and want to resolve the issue as quickly as possible, they need to act in the following sequence:
- put property documents in order and register them;
- decide on the place of residence of children after divorce;
- agree on the amount of alimony payments;
- settle disputes regarding the division of marital property and resolve other controversial issues.
If the listed actions were completed and all controversial situations were resolved, then immediately after the birth of the child, the divorce process can begin. If the wife is against it, the husband will have to wait a year; after this period, her consent is not required.
Willingness to “go out”
Sooner or later you will enter a new rhythm of life, new desires, new surroundings and new thoughts about what you really want will appear. You can write all this down on paper for yourself; this information will greatly help you in the future search for “your person.” This information is like a hint for you “what I want and what I don’t want.” The crisis has passed, and you can go out into the world again!
Perhaps someday after breaking up you will say words of gratitude to your husband for leaving you! Your character will be strengthened in this divorce, especially if you followed the advice on how to make it easier to survive a divorce from your husband and did not cause unnecessary trauma to yourself. But after experiencing loss, you will undoubtedly become a better person! Remember: everything will come, but not immediately, “give time time” is the best medicine in such cases.
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Which government agencies should those divorcing or having children contact?
According to the legal norms of the Family Code of Russia, the Civil Registry Office enters into marriage and divorces spouses.
An exception to this rule are families with children under the age of majority: in such cases, divorce is possible only through the court. If you have to get a divorce in court, it is better to use the services of a professional divorce lawyer who can help you deal with this situation.
However, certain exceptions are allowed that allow you to obtain a divorce in the registry office when:
- the spouse has been declared legally incompetent by a court of law;
- the husband or wife was declared missing in court;
- the spouse is serving a sentence of 3 or more years;
- The spouses are raising children who are not common to them, except for those who have been adopted and over whom guardianship has been established.
In all cases that do not fall under the listed exceptions, divorce is possible only through a magistrates or district court.
You can go to the magistrate's court when all controversial issues regarding the place of residence of common children, payment of alimony, division of jointly acquired property and others have been resolved. If it was not possible to reach a common decision on some issues, they can be separated into separate legal proceedings.
You will have to go to the district court when a husband or wife refuses to divorce, or it is impossible to reach a common agreement regarding children or jointly acquired property. In such a situation, a trial will be scheduled, at which the decision will be made on the basis of bylaws, and not the wishes of the spouses. Without the help of an experienced lawyer, this process may take a long time, but at any stage of the hearing, the spouses can demand that the divorce be canceled by mutual agreement.
Common Causes of Divorce
The reasons stem from many factors. First one problem arises, then others pile on top of it. For example, spouses are dissatisfied with each other’s appearance, which is why they fight over trifles and have sex less often. This will develop into either eternal dissatisfaction or regular betrayal. Both will destroy even a long marriage.
You have to constantly work on romantic relationships, otherwise they get out of control, left to chance. It is important to pay attention to yourself: your body, development, personal growth.
Intimate dissatisfaction
Many couples break up because there is not enough sex in the marriage or because there is sex, but it does not suit one of the partners. It is recommended to talk more about the problem, open up to your loved one, offer something new, and experiment. If you pay due attention to intimacy, then disagreements will not arise even many years after the wedding.
The main reason for all divorces due to sexual incompatibility is avoidance of conversations about intimate life.
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Everyday problems
Everyday problems include the inability to get along, uncleanliness, and bad habits. Some things will have to be accepted, but there are some things that husbands and wives must make concessions on.
It is important not to shout or reproach your loved one. It’s better to calmly remind you of some things, ask them not to forget about them, and give your significant other enough attention.
Financial difficulties
There are families in which financial difficulties last for years, but no one makes any attempt to change anything. Spouses need to first accept each other's position.
The woman is worried that she will not have money to pay bills, buy food and other necessary things. The spouse is exhausted from work and does not find the strength to find other sources of income that could potentially improve the situation. It is difficult for people to jump above their capabilities, especially if this is required of them.
It is recommended to encourage your loved one, reassure them, and say that everything will get better soon. At the same time, it is worth making an effort and looking for ways to earn extra money.
Treason
Cheating is one of the most common causes of separation and divorce. It is impossible to give any advice here, since everyone is looking for lovers and mistresses for different reasons. Among the most common are insufficient sex, neglected appearance of the partner. This can be prevented, but falling in love with another person and wanting to be with him is not. Then the marriage cannot be saved, since the other half loses his love interest and dreams of a relationship with someone else.
Different views on raising children
A rare but significant reason for spouses to separate is different views on raising children. Sometimes one parent sees that the influence of the other has a negative impact on the child, so he decides to divorce. This action is understandable, logical and consistent.
It happens that one partner wants several children, and the second - one. This becomes the reason for constant disputes and quarrels. You can’t blame anyone here: people have different ideas about the ideal family, everyone strives for their dream and doesn’t want to give in. Divorce in this case is normal - it would be better for the husband and wife to end their marriage and be happy with those who support them, than to waste their lives on a meaningless union, never getting what they want.
Parental intervention
Another reason why people get divorced is the influence of parents on one side or the other. If the mother-in-law does not like her daughter-in-law, then she begins to turn her son against her, pays attention to minor shortcomings and exaggerates them in the eyes of the man. Other relatives can do the same.
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Parents should not be allowed to interfere in the lives of newlyweds or an already married couple. It is advisable to live separately and maintain distance, not allowing boundaries to be violated. There is no need to stop communication, but you shouldn’t want to be liked either - this will become another reason for conflict. A common reason for divorce is excessive indulgence of relatives, especially mother or father.
Friends and parties are more important than family
For young couples, the catalysts for a breakup are completely different than for middle-aged and older people. For example, a girl prefers to communicate with her company, and a guy values parties more than communication with his beloved. This means that partners are not attracted to each other, they are not interested in being together.
Speaking about older men and women, it is impossible not to note that they can behave similarly, just their leisure time will be a little different. In other words, both at 20 and at 40 years old, a man is able to prefer a vacation without his wife, but the fullness of this pastime and the circle of friends will differ.
Bad habits
Bad habits that can become a catalyst for breaking up with a husband or wife include alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, Internet addiction, etc. If a person does not want to help himself, then trying to rid him of bad habits is pointless, since he will return to them again.
It is recommended to discuss this and insist on visiting a psychologist or other specialist. If there is no result, then divorce is the optimal and rational solution.
Self-esteem problems
Self-esteem problems span many areas of life. This is reflected in sexual intimacy, the level of trust in a couple, jealousy and the desire to isolate the other half from the outside world, to prohibit something. It is recommended that a person work with a psychologist regarding his or her opinion of himself. Specialized literature can also help. This reason should not be underestimated, since all subsequent ones follow from it.
Psycho-emotional problems
Cases vary: someone has a traumatic experience in connection with past romantic relationships, someone was subjected to psychological abuse in childhood, someone is simply unable to experience feelings. It is not always clear whether the behavior of a man or a girl is pathological or is it one of the character traits.
In this case, it is recommended to take a closer look at the little things and, if necessary, point out to your partner the peculiarities in his behavior. Maybe this will force him to turn to a specialist who will help resolve internal conflicts.
Which parent will the children live with?
In most cases, children live with their mother after divorce. However, there are cases where a court decision on this issue was made in favor of the father. The main criterion for making a court decision in favor of one of the parties is the interests of the children. If the living conditions for the children are the same, then each spouse has equal rights to live with the children.
The opinion of a child over 10 years of age may be taken into account by the court.
The main factors that the court takes into account when deciding with whom the children will live:
- the desire of each of the common children, the relationship between them and their needs;
- health and age of spouses;
- the lifestyle that the mother and father lead (availability of work; bad habits, etc.);
- the ability to provide quality care, education, and other circumstances are taken into account.
Sequence of actions during divorce
First of all, you need to draw up a statement of claim and submit it to the court. The spouse who filed the application is called the plaintiff, the other party is called the defendant. Both parties to the divorce process have the same rights. The application, written in free form, must indicate:
- name of the judicial institution and full name of the judge;
- actual place of residence, passport details and registration of each spouse;
- circumstances that caused the divorce;
- data of children under the age of majority;
- the opinion of the plaintiff or the agreed general position of the parents about with whom the children should live after the divorce;
- list of documents attached by the plaintiff to the application.
After filing a claim, there are two options:
Simple option
Having previously resolved all controversial issues, one of the spouses files a claim in the magistrate’s court. After the end of the reconciliation period, the spouses confirm their intention to divorce, and the court makes an appropriate decision.
Complex option
If there are disagreements regarding property, children, alimony payments, etc. the claim must be filed in district court. Depending on the complexity of the case and the intransigence of the spouses, the trial can last from 1–3 court hearings to infinity. A divorce lawyer can not only help to reach a common agreement, but also significantly reduce the number of court hearings through well-structured protection of his client’s interests.
In a statement of claim, the plaintiff has the right to combine several demands against the defendant into one proceeding (for example, divorce and alimony).
How to avoid divorce
Not every case is hopeless, so partners can try to save the relationship and refuse divorce. We asked our specialist to share ideas on how people can avoid divorce. According to her, a mutual decision to get out of this unpleasant situation is very important, because if attempts come from only one person, then it is unlikely that the divorce process will be stopped.
“As a rule, contacting a professional psychologist helps. Nowadays, couples can seek family counseling, during which specialists work first with the woman, then with the man, and then conduct couples work. Of course, there are always chances, but you need to understand that if a couple has accumulated a lot of grievances and complaints, then separate work should be carried out to eliminate all negative emotions. Without it, the prism of the relationship is greatly distorted and prevents the couple from reuniting.”
In addition, the specialist advised the spouses to always take care of themselves - it is important to control your mood, maintain a toned figure, take care of your appearance and always solve problems as they arise. This will help not only avoid divorce, but also prevent thoughts about it from arising at all.
Preparation of documents attached to the divorce claim
To quickly complete the divorce process, in addition to a correctly drawn up claim for the court, it is necessary to prepare an additional package of documents:
- plaintiff's passport;
- original marriage certificate;
- copies of birth certificates of children under age;
- paid receipt of state duty;
- other documents that may be required during the trial (certificate of income, extract from the house register, etc.).
If there is a documented and notarized mutual agreement on the dispute over the division of the spouses’ property and the residence of the child after the divorce, it can be filed at the first court hearing or initially attached to the claim. In accordance with the IC of Russia (Part III, Article 65), the question of which parent the child will live with is decided by mutual agreement and notarized. In a situation where the spouses fail to reach a mutual agreement, the final decision is made by the court, taking into account the ability of the spouses to provide for the child, his desire (if he is over 10 years old), affection for sisters and brothers, etc.
The amount of the state fee for divorce paid by the plaintiff is set by the state. After a divorce, it can be divided between the divorced spouses. The amount of the state duty depends on the number of additional issues decided by the court (place of residence of the child, division of property assets, size and frequency of alimony payments, etc.).
Duration of divorce proceedings
The minimum duration of divorce proceedings in the magistrate's court for families with common children who have not reached the age of majority is 2 calendar months. After the plaintiff submits an application to such a court, the first hearing is scheduled 30 days or more later. If the application and package of additional documents are drawn up correctly and all controversial issues are resolved between the spouses, the decision on divorce will most likely be made during this court hearing.
The adopted court decision gains force 30 days after the trial, and this applies to both the magistrate and district court. During this period, one of the spouses can appeal. After the court decision comes into force, it is transferred to the registry office within three days. Each spouse can enter into a new marriage only after receiving a divorce certificate.
Couples at risk
The structure of modern society allows a person to quickly get married and also quickly get divorced. Moreover, divorce can occur at any age and after any time spent in marriage. From the countless number of people getting married, psychologists have identified couples who are most prone to divorce and who are at risk. This is, first of all:
- Those who got married 1-3 months after they met. This time, according to psychologists, is not enough to learn everything about the habits and character of the other half. Hasty marriages most often fall apart over the next 1-3 years.
- People who got married after a long period of cohabitation. If young people have been dating for 2-3 years, run a household together, but still have not gotten married, this indicates the immaturity of one of the parties. Perhaps it is a matter of habit, perhaps it is the feeling of comfort that arises from the fact that someone is solving unpleasant everyday problems for another. Couples who decide to get married years after they started living together usually soon realize that their decision was a mistake and they came to it out of habit. Fortunately, this does not always happen, but there is a certain risk.
- Couples who married too early. Marriages concluded between women over 22 years of age and men over 24-25 years of age are considered ideal. Early marriages break up quite often. Husband and wife grow up, they have different interests and tastes. Not always and not everyone manages to come to terms with the changes that have occurred in their partner.
Forced marriages concluded due to circumstances stand apart in terms of risk level. Typically this circumstance is a child. Spouses who marry for the sake of children, on average, maintain a good relationship for no more than a few years. In the future, divorce or separation follows.
Is it possible to cancel a divorce decree?
Family relationships are never smooth; the situation can change diametrically after some time. In judicial practice, there are cases when spouses, after making a court decision and receiving certificates of divorce, after some time decided to restore the divorced marriage. They have a natural question: “Is it possible to cancel the divorce in this case?”
The answer is not as simple as it seems, and only an experienced lawyer who knows all the legal intricacies of divorce law can give the correct answer. In short, yes it is possible, but only in certain cases specified in the current legislative field, since existing Family Law is aimed at preserving the family as a “unit of society.”
Divorce statistics in Russia in recent years
If you believe divorce statistics, more than half of registered marriages eventually end in breakup.
More often this happens to couples who have lived together for about 5-9 years. But almost 20% of families that had been together for 10-20 years also ended up breaking up. Couples who have been in a relationship for 1-2 years often get divorced.
Only 4.7% of cases were recorded when families came to a divorce earlier than after a year of marriage. Statistics also say that with an increase in the number of children a couple has, the likelihood of divorce decreases.
Procedure at the trial stage
The judge, acting in accordance with the legal norms of the Russian Investigative Committee, can give time for reconciliation of spouses up to 3 calendar months. This provision is provided by law so that spouses evaluate all possible consequences and decide on reconciliation. In each specific situation, the judge sets the length of the period based on the reasons for the future divorce, for example, the presence of common children, living conditions of family members, etc. Having assessed the situation, the judge may not give such a period at all or give it from the minimum possible to the maximum duration. The duration of this period can also be influenced by spouses who wish to reconcile.
If the spouses decide to reconcile within the period given by the judge for reconciliation or before or during the last court hearing, they should write a petition to terminate the proceedings. In other words, abandon the claim. This option is available only to the spouse who submitted the application. Based on the petition, the judge makes a decision and the marriage relationship is preserved. The decision taken comes into force within 15 calendar days. According to the Code of Civil Procedure of Russia (Article 221), the spouse who filed the divorce claim cannot apply with a similar document to the same defendant.
The procedure for reconciled spouses at the stage of entry into force of the court decision
A court decision to terminate a marriage becomes valid after 30 calendar days from the date of its adoption. This time is given to divorcing spouses for a possible appeal. It is during these days that the spouse can file an appeal due to disagreement with the court’s decision. This complaint will be considered in a higher court, after receiving the divorce case, at a specially appointed new court hearing.
As judicial practice shows, it is extremely difficult to cancel a divorce decision already made by the court without compelling reasons and only on the basis of reconciliation of the parties. The main argument of the appeal court is “you should have thought earlier.” However, an experienced divorce lawyer can find such grounds (for example, the absence of the spouse at the trial for a good reason (illness), errors in the submitted documents, etc.). A professional lawyer familiar with all the intricacies of the law will help you understand and develop the right strategy for any specific situation.
Is it possible to cancel a court decision on divorce after it has entered into force?
In accordance with existing judicial practice, in situations where the deadline for filing an appeal has been missed, it must be restored. This is quite difficult, but with the right and timely actions it can be done.
If you have any questions or the procedure for action in a particular situation is unclear, lawyer in St. Petersburg Sergey Sergeevich Tumanov is ready to answer all questions, assess the current situation and find a favorable solution for each client who contacts him.
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