Life, circumstances or a feeling of the meaninglessness of life often lead a person to the idea that it’s time to finally pull himself together and start doing something. This suggests that it is time to engage in self-development. This is actually a cool idea that deserves a standing ovation. But after making such a decision, a stupor often sets in - when you have no idea which end to grab and where to move.
If you go the wrong way at the very beginning, you can waste valuable time. And it’s good if you come to your senses in a day or two, but if you spend six months or a year on this, at least it will be a pity that it took so much time. And if you roll up your sleeves and start trying to become the idol of a generation starting on Monday with the air of a superman, then by the weekend you will most likely be picking up the TV remote control and looking for something to get your teeth into.
We have already talked more than once about self-development and its importance in life, but we decided to write an article about where to start when you don’t know what to do. No, we won’t bombard you with advice like read ten of these books, don’t do eight of these things, learn to set goals, cultivate positive thinking, etc.
All this is good and healthy, but only a first-grader doesn’t know about it. In addition, books and simple tips on correcting your habits do not always give the desired result. Below, of course, we will not discover America either, but we will still try to touch on those things that are not often talked about.
So, where should you start your self-development?
Stop wasting your time
There are things that mercilessly waste our most precious resource - time. This is procrastination, chronophages, distraction or other similar phenomena. They are present in the lives of each of us, and many people simply do not pay attention to them - they have become so firmly ingrained into everyday life. Meanwhile, all of these are serious enemies on the path of self-improvement. By themselves, however, they mean nothing, but the desire to devote time to them can cross out all good undertakings.
There may be several reasons for this desire:
- Lack of motivation to do important things
- Indulging your weaknesses, habits, instincts
- Victim syndrome and self-pity
- Laziness
- Showing off
To overcome them, you don't need to be a genius. It’s enough just to show maturity and apply your intelligence. Think for yourself:
- What’s more important: doing a few exercises to train your brain or watching the next episode of “House-2”? Of course, exercise. So, take it and do it!
- What’s better: getting up early and doing more, or sleeping until 12 and then trying hard to make up time and get everything done? Of course, get up early. So, get up and get things done!
- What is more correct: to complain and remain in the image of a victim or to take responsibility for your life, even if through “I can’t”, but get up from your knees and start acting? Of course, take action. So, pull yourself together and go ahead!
- Which is more literate: “I don’t want to!” I won’t!” or “I decided, I did it, I got the result”? Of course, the second one. Well, what are you? Work and get results!
- What makes more sense: endlessly re-read motivational phrases and throw all sorts of demotivators on the wall, or take a self-education course, go to training, go to India to live in an ashram for a couple of weeks? Of course, something that has real benefits! Here's the course, you can find training, and you can save up for tickets!
You just need to cut off everything unnecessary. If you want to develop, develop if you really need it. Stop being led by losers, excuses and bad habits.
A winner is one who does not feel sorry for himself and does not blame everyone for his difficulties and problems. If you are more comfortable sitting in a chair waiting for a miracle, then you don’t need to go further - continue in the same spirit.
If not, forget about laziness and stop wasting your time. Start developing and stop doing nonsense. But work honestly towards yourself, and not for the sake of likes and the opinions of others.
By the way, here's some great motivation for action from a really cool guy:
Literature for self-improvement
Books for self-development are another step towards improving your personality. There are many primary sources, such as the Bible or books on the teachings of Tao, but they will be incomprehensible to many.
Today there are a lot of books for self-development. We present you a list of some of them:
- Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen "A Whole Life". It will teach you how to set realistic goals that are easy to achieve. You will be able to correctly prioritize;
- Dan Waldschmidt "Be the best version of yourself." This book can radically change your life. It tells how ordinary people become extraordinary;
- M. J. Ryan “This year I...” This book will be useful to everyone, as it helps to change habits, keep promises to yourself, and change your life for the better;
- Brian Tracy "Get out of your comfort zone." Recognized worldwide as the #1 book on self-development. You will be able to step out of your comfort zone to achieve maximum goals;
- Kelly McGonigal "Willpower" How to develop and strengthen? The author believes that willpower is like a muscle that needs to be pumped up and strengthened.
All books have one main meaning - self-development never ends. You can work all your life to develop your personality, to make your life bright and unforgettable. Each of us strives to be better, but this quality must be used wisely.
Remember death
Sounds provocative, doesn't it? But this is not a prophecy and not at all an attempt to ruin your mood. However, we want you to take off your rose-colored glasses. Personal self-development is not an activity for those who are waiting for manna from heaven and think that everything they want will come to them by itself.
Time is running. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, months into years. This is how our life goes. And at this time we can sit on the couch and do nothing, do nonsense and waste precious minutes. We are closed to new information and new opportunities. This makes us amorphous, lazy and crazy from idleness. What's the end result?
But in the end we risk ending up with nothing. We risk looking back and realizing that we have lived our lives without achieving anything. You can achieve something only through developing yourself - only progress allows you to move forward. And the sooner we understand this, the sooner changes will begin to occur in our lives, the sooner we will begin to become better.
There is only one guarantee given to us from birth - the guarantee that we will all die. And this can happen at any time - today, tomorrow, in a year or in 50 years. By accepting and realizing the inevitability of our own death at a deep level, we will automatically learn to make choices in favor of what is truly important to us.
If you were told you had two weeks to live, what would you do? It is unlikely that they would continue to lie in bed or be offended by a loved one because of stupidity. The most important and necessary things would instantly be prioritized. You would like to do the maximum in your power to become a better person, to bring joy and happiness to those you love.
Death is an advisor, as Don Juan told Carlos Castaneda. Remember about it more often, and you will stop hesitating in choosing between the main and the secondary, you will always want to develop and move forward, your life will become different - more conscious and fulfilling.
Tips from psychology
Self-development in psychology has a different nature, depending on a person’s needs. At the beginning of your development path, you should decide on your goals. It is necessary to understand what is not satisfactory in your current life and begin to move in the chosen direction.
If there is a lack of free time, psychologists recommend alternative improvement methods that take from 5 to 15 minutes. Develop yourself as quickly as possible without being distracted from work:
- Instead of music, listen to audiobooks and lectures. A long drive to work or home will be useful;
- Read 1 useful piece of advice, fact, or success story every day. This amount will not overload the brain, but the information will be stored in the head;
- Practice meditation. During your lunch break, you can do breathing exercises;
- Find sites on the Internet with information of interest, save them in bookmarks and open them whenever possible.
How to start self-development, everyone decides for themselves. If one person likes to read educational books, another will like training and live communication. The main thing is not to stand still, any action will be justified and will be beneficial.
What's the end result?
And in the end, we get a ready-made guide to self-development (believe me, these five elements will be enough for you). Start by giving up useless activities and developing your thinking. Periodically remember that life is fleeting and time passes. Add to this immediate action and the right distribution of forces, and you will immediately begin to change and grow.
And if you want everything to be faster:
- Write down all your ideas and re-read them from time to time.
- Build a better image of yourself
- Plan your week
- Treat time as a valuable resource
- Take at least one step towards achieving your goal every day
- Communicate with smart, energetic and developing people
- Lead a healthy lifestyle
- Learn to live in the present
- Be open and honest with yourself
- Take criticism well
- Don't be afraid to say "No" to people who waste your time.
We don’t want to feed you any illusions: self-development is not a job for the faint of heart, not for the lazy, and not for whiners. At the same time, this is a job for everyone. Anyone can begin to engage in self-development and achieve outstanding results in life. Just try to follow our advice for at least 21 days, and after three weeks you won’t want to go back to your old life.
In short, it's all up to you. If you want to develop, start making yourself the master of your destiny, and don’t remain a slave to the system and a victim of circumstances. We wish everyone to look in the mirror and see in front of them a person who is really worth something. And for more motivation, watch this short video:
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- 5 surefire ways to waste time and regret it in the end
- Proactive and reactive thinking
- The best blog materials in 2021: thinking development, brain training, self-education
- The best blog content in 2021: psychology
- Systems and methods of self-development: a selection of useful materials
- Ten thoughts on negative thinking
- Seven Methods for Training Self-Discipline
- Habits that lead to hell
- Lessons of Wisdom from Confucius
- Self-development
Keywords:1LLL
Where to start self-development
As always, we start with the goal. What is it for. Select the area you want to improve. Determine for yourself what to pay attention to first. What worries you the most:
- Low self-esteem (read how to increase self-esteem separately)
- Figure
- Communication with people
- Memory
- How to get rid of fears and worries
- Character traits
- Be kinder (how to forgive insults)
- Lack of creative thinking (how to develop creative thinking)
- Bad habits
- Negative thinking (how to learn to think positively in a separate article)
There are a huge number of areas for self-development. It’s unlikely to cover everything at once. You can change yourself gradually.
You know, you can give an example. If a heavyweight athlete is immediately given a lift of 200 kg, he will not be able to cope and will even overstrain himself. It won't fit on the bar anymore. But if you build up and add weight for lifting over a period of time, then after some time he will take not only 200, but 250 kg. Right?
The same thing happens to a person who thinks about self-improvement and self-development. Personal growth is never rapid. Everything takes time and training. Yes, as in sports, the same repetition of any exercises. Or changing habits, replacing old ones with new ones.
If you try to change yourself in many ways at once, you can overstrain yourself, give up on everything and continue living your old life. Because it was difficult and it didn’t work out.
We were just in a hurry. It will definitely work! The main thing is not to rush, to go slowly but surely, without turning away from the wonderful path of personal growth. Therefore, move gradually, as if you are drawing yourself anew.
Each person has his own goal, and there is simply no single pattern. You can offer general step-by-step instructions for men and women. What to do if there is no goal in life? You can read the article on how to find a goal if you don’t want anything.
