Self-control technique: how to quickly calm down and pull yourself together | Psychology of life

Roman Levykin - special psychologist, clinical psychologist, psychodynamic psychotherapist, St. Petersburg. Training psychotherapist of the International Society of Catathymic Experience of Images (ISKPO), member of the ACPP. Two higher psychological educations. Additional training in the field of Gestalt approach and catathymic-imaginative psychotherapy. Participant in international educational programs of the world's leading psychoanalysts. 15 years of practice. Main areas of interest: working with anxiety, depression, consequences of mental trauma, conflicts, addiction and codependency in relationships Read more...

“My goal is to help people become happier and more whole.”

I provide individual consultations in this office

Cost of psychological consultations

Initial individual consultation (1 hour): 3500 rubles. Possibility of working remotely (Skype)
Work with a couple, family counseling (1 hour): 3500 rubles
Work with a child (40 minutes): 3500 rubles
You can arrange a free 30-minute trial meeting with me. Here you can get acquainted, ask questions and see the environment in which consultations will take place.

Problems and fears that people come to me with most often

Problems

Difficulties in relationships (Conflict relationships, resentment towards a partner, emotional abuse. Difficulties starting a relationship, starting to live together. Loneliness. Difficulties associated with experiencing separation)
Difficulty communicating with people. Shame. Social phobia
Do difficult things at work. Changing job profile and looking for a new one
Problems of separation from parents. Growing up
Consequences of trauma: unexpected outbursts of anger, intrusive memories, overcontrol, overactivity, fearfulness
Search for identity. Make life more meaningful. Finding yourself
Helplessness, fear of life, anxiety for the future, catastrophization and pessimization of the future

Fears

Fear of being left alone and helpless. Fear of being terminally ill
Fear of parents' death
Fear of disintegration. Fear of going crazy. Fear of being caught up in affect
Fear of not realizing your potential
Fear of separation from parents
Fear of the supernatural, darkness. Fear of attack and absorption by an otherworldly creature
Fear of starting something new (moving into a new area of work)
Agoraphobia. Fear of open or closed spaces, fear of leaving the house
Fear of loss of income, dismissal
Fear of intimacy, of being dependent on a tyrant partner
Fear that relationships will be controlled and coerced
Fear of divorce
Fear of loneliness
Social phobia, fear of communication, fear of certain social situations
Fear of relationships, fear of sex

About methods

I have training in two directions - Gestalt and catathymic-imaginative psychotherapy.

Catathymic-imaginative psychotherapy

Catathymic-imaginative psychotherapy was developed in the second half of the 20th century by the German psychotherapist Hanskarl Leuner. The theoretical basis is based on the ideas of psychoanalysis and depth psychology of Carl Gustav Jung.

Catathymic-imaginative psychotherapy has proven itself well in the following areas of psychotherapeutic work:

PTSD, working with the consequences of mental trauma
Neuroses
Psychosomatics
Depression
Couples psychotherapy
Psychotherapy for children and adolescents

Learn more about catathymic-imaginative psychotherapy

Gestalt

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Look at this image. What do you see on it? Someone will see a tree, someone will see animals, and someone will look at fish. Each of us looks at things differently and the way we look at the world largely determines how we relate to it.

The Gestalt approach suggests looking holistically at the world, at people and at the relationships that occur between people. It implies the uniqueness and originality of each person. The philosophy of this trend is well shown in the film “Peaceful Warrior” (2006). Look, there is a lot about here and now, about awareness.

Gestalt is about “here and now”, awareness, responsibility and contact with your feelings.

Relaxation tips

To begin with, here are a few more examples of effective relaxation exercises related to breathing and muscle function.

Simple exercises for relaxation

As we have already said, when the human body is in a stressful and tense state, its pulse and breathing increase. This mechanism is necessary for intensive saturation of cells with oxygen, but this does not always have a positive effect on the physical and mental state. It will be much better if you learn to breathe deeply and calmly. And here are some exercises for this:

Slowly inhale air through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Inhalation should be done in four counts, and exhalation in two counts. You need to do 10 repetitions.
Do the previous exercise, but concentrate not only on the count, but also try to relax the muscles of the chest and shoulder girdle. Due to the fact that the diaphragm is used in breathing, it will become deeper. For one approach, 10 repetitions are enough.
Lie down on a bed or sofa and place one hand on your stomach. Inhale air so that your hand is pushed up through your stomach. Keep in mind that you need to breathe through your mouth. Do 10 reps.

When it comes to muscle relaxation specifically, learning to do it on your own will help you rest and recover quickly. A few exercises on this topic:

Lie on your back on a bed or sofa with your legs straight. Slowly raise your arms up, and then spread them to the sides and lower them. Try to relax as much as possible for 15-20 seconds. Breathe as deeply as possible. The exercise must be repeated 5 times.
Take the same body position. Lying on your back, slowly pull your knees bent to your chest one by one. Then stretch them out and try to relax as much as possible for 15-20 seconds. The exercise must be repeated 5 times.
Lie on your stomach. Extend your arms along your body. Slowly raise your shoulders and head and stretch forward a little. Then return to your original body position and try to relax as much as possible for 15-20 seconds. Repeat the exercise 5 times.
Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. Clench your fists and raise your arms up. Tighten your entire body, and then suddenly relax, allowing your arms to fall down. Stay in a relaxed state for 15-20 seconds. Repeat the exercise 5 times.

Now let’s move a little away from techniques and exercises, and let’s talk a little about proper nutrition, or rather about foods, the use of which helps relieve tension.

Stress Relief Products

Nutrition is one of the main components of human life, because together with food, all the necessary vitamins, nutrients and microelements enter the body. And if a person eats right (by the way, we have good material on the topic of proper nutrition), then it is much easier for his body to cope with tension and stress, and it is much easier for the person himself to relax and rest faster. To increase your body's resistance to negative external influences, try to follow these simple nutrition tips:

Make sure you have fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet. This is “live” food that has a beneficial effect on the nervous system and the body as a whole.
Include fish in your diet. It contains iodine and phosphorus. The first promotes muscle relaxation, and the second helps maintain normal hormonal levels.
Eat more millet and buckwheat porridge, nuts and legumes. All of these products contain magnesium, a natural antidepressant.
Eat apricots, rye bread, dairy and offal. They contain large quantities of B vitamins, which increase resistance to stress and stabilize the activity of the central nervous system.
Don't forget to eat potatoes, sweet fruits and honey. They are a source of glucose, the deficiency of which causes nervousness and tension.
Drink green and herbal teas. They are rich in antioxidants that remove harmful substances and toxins from the body. The cleaner the body, the easier it is to endure stress and restore strength.

Also, take note of this small list of products that help calm your nerves, relieve tension and increase your body’s resistance to stress:

strawberries, raspberries and blueberries (contain natural antioxidants and vitamin C);
cereals and grains (help the body produce serotonin);
Brazil nuts (contain selenium, which has sedative properties);
spinach (contains vitamin K, which synthesizes hormones that are responsible for stress resistance and good mood);
apples (rich in vitamin C, iron and fiber);
dark chocolate (contains anandamine, which causes a feeling of calm and relaxation);
bananas (contain vitamin B, potassium and magnesium).

And in addition to all of the above, here are a few more life tips that will help you strengthen your nerves and help you cope better with stress.

How to calm down easily

These simple steps should be performed any time you feel nervous, physically or emotionally tired, exhausted, or under stress:

Change your activity . If, for example, you sat at the computer for a long time or wrote a report, do some physical activity: walk, go to the store, do a warm-up, etc. This will help you take your mind off the monotonous and routine work.
Go out into the fresh air and breathe a little . Your blood will become more oxygenated, which in turn will make you calmer.
Drink some water . Remember that even mild dehydration can cause irritability, confusion, and mood swings.
Listen to calm music . It has a wonderful effect on the psyche: it calms the nerves, promotes inner harmony and relaxation.
Light the aroma lamp . Essential oils of jasmine, chamomile or bergamot mixed with water and heated with a candle will easily calm the nerves and restore vitality.
Look at the nice images . If you look at a photo or video of space, mountains or the ocean for at least 5 minutes, you can quickly relax and calm your racing thoughts.
Get out into nature . The beauty of Mother Earth and fresh air are one of the best means for relaxation, relieving stress and putting your inner world in order.
Go to the bath, shower, pool or sauna . Water relieves fatigue better than other remedies and takes away negative energy. It is especially useful to swim in a river or sea, i.e. where the water is not stagnant, but constantly renewed.
Go for a massage . A specialist will help your muscles relax and your body to produce serotonin, which in itself will weaken the effect of emotional stress. By the way, you can ask someone at home to give you a massage, or you can do it yourself - massage those areas of the body where your hands can reach.
Get creative . By creating something with your own hands, you create the perfect environment to reduce anxiety and stress. You can just as easily go to the cinema or theater, visit a museum or art gallery.
Start meditating daily for at least half an hour a day . This activity is great for calming thoughts and achieving inner harmony, with long-term effects. We have a guide to meditation and relaxation on our website.
Limit your consumption of coffee and alcohol, as well as smoking cigarettes . All this not only dehydrates the body, but also increases fatigue and susceptibility to stress (and this is not counting the well-known facts about the dangers of coffee, alcohol and nicotine).

We also advise you to always consider any events that occur objectively, i.e. not only from my point of view, but in general. All problems can be resolved. What seems difficult or unfair now may well lead to better consequences in the future. Therefore, you need to look at everything from different sides, and also not take anything to heart.

As you can see, learning to relax and rest quickly is not that difficult. Remember that there are two fundamental factors here - your desire and knowledge of certain techniques. If you decide to read this article, then you already have the desire, and if you have finished reading it, then the techniques are now at your disposal.

And in conclusion, we bring to your attention another video on the topic of relaxation. Save it to your playlist or browser bookmarks and watch and listen (preferably with headphones) when you want to relax and calm your inner world.

We wish you a good mood and a positive attitude every day!

We also recommend reading:

Storytelling
How to choose a meditation technique
How to learn to meditate: in accessible language about the most important things
A short guide to developing concentration
Breathing and thinking: a way to calm down in a stressful situation
Methods of mental self-regulation
7 Scientific Ways to Take Effective Breaks
Rebirthing: being reborn through breathing
10 Popular Exercises to Relieve Stress
How to run correctly
Ways to fall asleep faster

Key words:_D1036, 1Psychoregulation, 4Psychoregulation