If you are annoyed by a work colleague, then remaining silent and accumulating hostility is not an option.
The internal tension of being next to an unpleasant person interferes with your work, so you still have to take some action.
Hostility can even lead to dismissal
Recently, on one of the popular revelation sites, one of the users shared the following story: her relative quit from a good, promising, and most importantly, long-awaited job, where she was also appreciated.
And this happened because of an annoying colleague.
Can irritation and hostility be grounds for dismissal?
“In their office they have three tables, one separately, and two opposite each other. So, the female accountant sitting opposite her simply infuriates her: she slurps loudly when she eats, drinks tea with disgusting sounds, and then picks her teeth with a toothpick for a long time and relishly. And she’s not a bad woman, and a good specialist, but her sister shuddered just at the mention of her.
I quote: “He will open his mouth, like the crocodile from the cartoon where the bird was brushing his teeth, and for at least half an hour. I was embarrassed to say it frankly, she’s older, she might not understand, she might be offended, and she’s been working here for a long time, well, how can I tell her this.
But I’m really shaking, I can’t concentrate on work, I avert my eyes, and I can’t hide behind the monitor, I can hear sounds, but she eats all the time.
I asked about changing or rearranging tables, but the second girl refused, and there was no possibility of moving to another office.
I thought I’d endure it, I needed work, but yesterday, when she spat on her finger as she turned the pages, my patience ran out. The chief accountant is trying his best to persuade me to stay, I can’t voice the real reason for the dismissal, they will laugh, she said that she found another job, closer to home.”
Interestingly, this post received a huge number of comments with similar stories about annoying colleagues. Many people are irritated by real imperfections, such as unpleasant habits or repulsive appearance.
Others are trying to cope with far-fetched reasons for discontent. In any case, remaining silent and accumulating irritation is not an option. What to do?
We're kind of tense. What are we going to do about it?
It is worth looking for the true cause of irritation
Art therapist Svetlana Zakharova advises:
“If one of your colleagues annoys you, take a piece of paper and write on it first all the positive qualities of this employee, then his negative qualities. After that, write down those actions or actions of this person that irritate you the most.
Such an analysis will help you better understand the cause of your irritation - and then it will be easier to cope with negative emotions.”
It's one thing if you know exactly what caused the irritation. And what's more, other employees support you. Another thing is if the reason for your dissatisfaction lies deeper.
A colleague may look like any person you dislike. Or it's all about envy - of his personal life, car or even clothes. Envy is often hidden behind great irritation.
But what if the problem is real and really interferes with your work?
For example, if one of your colleagues pours a lot of perfume on himself, causing most of the office to suffer, does not care about hygiene, or slurps too loudly.
Svetlana Zakharova o.
Our reader Elena faced a similar situation:
“At a previous job, we had a woman who worked with us, let’s say, of a heavy build. When she came to work, most often she had to open the windows all the way. In such situations, few people dare to directly tell the person about his problem.
Experts advise: “If there is a collective problem, then it needs to be solved by the whole team.”
But one day she came running, a little late and thoroughly sweating, and I made up my mind: tactfully offered her help. She said that she probably wanted to go wash her face and neck after such a run, and offered soap. She understood everything and said: “Thank you!” And in general, such a problem did not arise with her anymore.”
Irritation turned into conflict. What should I do?
In an interview for RIA Novosti, Doctor of Psychology Anna Leonova and specialist in the field of conflict psychology Marina Shirokaya answered the question: how to exist in a team without conflicts?
“One of the simplest psychological ways to achieve a calm psychological atmosphere in a team is to understand yourself well, know your individual psychological characteristics, know your reactions to conflict situations, and the same characteristics of your colleagues.
Such knowledge will allow you to prevent conflict at the right time. This way you can achieve a good working environment and a favorable socio-psychological climate in the team.”
But what if you still couldn’t avoid an unpleasant collision?
Let's say that same annoying person couldn't adequately respond to the remark about not eating in front of the computer? Psychologist Anna Serebryannaya advises looking for support from other colleagues.
The main thing in such a situation is not to become an “unpleasant colleague” yourself, that is, not to gossip and not to provoke the entire team into open conflict.
If you are against a problem, stay against it, not against the person.
You can solve the problem by talking with your boss: for example, by distancing yourself from the object of irritation. In any office, you can try rearranging the tables or even swap offices with another employee.
Some tips to help cope with irritation at work
When nothing can be done, and you don’t want to leave work at all, you can try using the following techniques:
- Don't suppress your irritation. To be honest: “This colleague annoys me terribly!” This will make it easier to cope with negative emotions.
- The next effective technique: switch to something more pleasant. A conversation with a “good” colleague, a call to a loved one, work responsibilities, after all.
- If this does not help, the best solution would be to distance yourself from the object of irritation for at least 10-15 minutes. Go out for a walk in the corridor, go downstairs to the nearest cafe.
- And at the end of the working day, you need to be able to “throw out” the negativity - for example, in the gym, in a dance class or in yoga. Yes, even walk down the street at a brisk pace. We at Velvet.by tried it, and it really works.
Of course, in most cases we fail to “get rid” of an unpleasant colleague, but it is important to understand: all problems arise due to the inability to communicate and build a dialogue with other people
. If you try to see all your colleagues not as enemies, but as like-minded people, then even the most nasty colleague and his spirits will be much less annoying.
VELVET
