A man doesn’t want to get married, but says he loves him: psychology of men

Women's emancipation as the main factor in a man's reluctance to marry

If you look back thousands of years, everything in the relationships between couples was very predictable. He is the breadwinner and head of the house, she is the housewife, devotedly loving her husband and doing everything for comfort in the family. And this model of marriage has existed for many centuries. Until women began to demand expansion of their rights. Now they can earn, manage, and build a business on an equal basis with men. By the way, men can still perceive this. But a woman’s desire to take over the reins of power in the family is perceived by them as an encroachment on their eternal rights. Plus add to this how independent and self-sufficient a woman has become today. Yes, being in a relationship, she can completely forget about herself, trying to please her chosen one in everything. But, if he does not live up to her hopes, a modern emancipated woman will easily show him the threshold of the house, file for divorce and look for new ways to become happy. It was this strength and self-sufficiency that began to some extent scare men away from marriage. After all, before, in order for the family to be preserved, it was enough for them to sign in the registry office, and this was a priori considered for life. Then there was no need to think about his behavior anymore - the wife would not go anywhere and would tolerate her husband until the end of her days. Today, in order to save his family, a man will have to try. And this is already an inconvenience for many...

Why in modern society many men do not want to get married

It must be said that not every man himself will immediately answer such a question - simply because he does not know the answer. In general, his consciousness is in some confusion. Genetic memory helpfully reminds us of those times when a man hunted mammoths and carried the prey home, where a powerless woman greeted him with admiration and respect. But today the role of women in society has become different. By earning on an equal basis with men and making a career in traditional “male” industries, a woman can afford to choose who she wants to build a family with.

Doesn't marry means he doesn't love

Many beauties come to this conclusion and, unfortunately, there is some truth in this. A man can put off the moment of marriage in every possible way if his feelings for his beloved are not strong enough. In other words, he does not love her and does not see in her his future wife and mother of his children. Yes, he is very comfortable and comfortable in this relationship. But there are some nuances that make it difficult to discern in a partner the only one with whom he would like to live for the rest of his life. Believe me, not only women are annoyed by unclosed tubes in the bathroom - men can also sense a person’s lack of acceptance by their manner of speaking, walking, ability to cook, etc. In any case, to your direct question why the guy doesn’t want to get married, he will answer that he loves you, but you need to wait a while. He can give any reasons - from being overwhelmed at work to buying an apartment, but you must understand that these words should be meant as: “Until I truly love you or until I meet another love.” Whether it is worth continuing such a relationship is up to you to decide. Maybe your man will really look at you from the other side and decide to throw in his lot with you.

Why divorced men don't want to get married

The soul of a man after a divorce is darkness. Do not rush to take at face value all his stories that it was his ex-wife who was to blame for their divorce and discouraged any desire to get married again. An even greater mistake would be to rush to prove to him with all your behavior that you certainly will not hurt his suffering soul. Perhaps behind the words there is a selfish manipulator who lives as he wants, but has no intention of getting married at all. But it may be that the previous separation was indeed very difficult due to one reason or another - reproaches, scandals, betrayals. And it’s really hard for a man to remarry – what if it all happens again? And if he wants to openly build a relationship with you, talks openly with you about his fears, and at the same time listens to you and your expectations, perhaps it makes sense to listen to his desires too.

Being ready for a serious relationship again after a difficult divorce does not mean rushing headlong into a new love pool. This means gaining new experience that will help you live with new strength, with the understanding that even if a new attempt to get married is unsuccessful, you will still not break, you will remain yourself. And until the realization of his new experience has occurred, the man will not rush (read - get married). And here it is better for a woman to show sensitivity and understanding, otherwise she will deal with blind defense.

The main reasons why men don't want to get married

We have already talked about love, now we will look at other, no less important reasons that stop men from taking an important step.

Firstly, there is a reluctance to take responsibility for the family. This includes both the financial and moral sides. After all, it will be necessary not only to provide for the family (by the way, the wife will help with this). You will also have to raise children and solve the problems of parents and relatives on both sides. And this is already a serious test for men and a threat to their carefree, freedom-loving life.
Secondly, one cannot discount the influence of the relationship between parents on a guy’s desire to get married. Here, both the constant family squabbles that accompanied the guy’s entire childhood and the model of an incomplete family, in which all the attention of the mother and grandmother was given to the only child, will have an equally negative impact. In the first case, it is quite natural for a man to delay the moment of marriage, not wanting to get bogged down in causeless quarrels and misunderstandings. Secondly, he will not want to exchange the comfort he receives for the unknown that lurks in a family relationship with a woman.
Thirdly, an important reason for a man’s reluctance to marry can be the unpleasant experience of his first marriage. Divorce, division of property, payment of alimony - all this leaves a deep mark on a man’s soul, and he will look with caution at possible remarriages for a long time. At the same time, he, like no one else, understands that he married a kind girl, who over time turned into an embittered vixen. So, where can we get guarantees that such a story will not repeat itself in a second marriage? So divorced men delay this event in every possible way in order to protect themselves from such risks and enjoy love in an open relationship.

Fourthly, many men really don’t think about marriage. If a woman aged 25-30 years is already, as they say, “sleeping and seeing” a wedding dress, then for the stronger sex this “X” moment has not yet arrived. Modern men, those who really want to have a family, want to create one, already having some kind of material base. And this is not a minus, but a positive feature. So first you need to figure out exactly why your partner doesn’t want to get married - maybe he’s just preparing the basis for your marriage, expecting your understanding and support.
And fifthly, many women themselves initially agree to open relationships and civil marriage, assuring that the wedding and the stamp in the passport are not the main thing for them. Their opinion changes very often. Especially if this is facilitated by hints from friends, comments from parents, and the contemplation of happy married couples surrounded. But this arrangement is ideal for guys - convenient, comfortable, without unnecessary stress, without great responsibility and restricting freedom. So it will be quite difficult to move from this stage, but it is quite possible with mutual love and respect between partners, their ability to listen and hear each other’s desires.

Why men don't want and are even afraid to get married

☛ There really is virtually no reason for a man to get married if he can get everything he wants from a woman for nothing.

In cohabitation, a man has the rights of a free man, and a woman has the responsibilities of a wife, which she imposes on herself. He receives what the legal husband receives, and at the same time he is not obliged to do anything, and she gives what the wife gives, but at the same time has no rights to either his freedom or his property.

Marriage registration imposes on the man the duties of a husband and gives the woman the rights of a wife. That is, now he will receive exactly the same as he received in cohabitation (or even less), but at the same time he will be obliged to remain faithful and share the money he earns. Therefore, men are afraid of marriage like fire, and women really want a wedding.

First time fear

If this is a man’s first marriage, then he is really scared off for many reasons :

fear of responsibility;
own selfishness and reluctance to share the attention of the wife and children in the future;
unwillingness to care for a pregnant wife and help with child care;
panic fear of restricting his freedom - from gatherings with friends to ways of personal recreation (playing on the computer, etc.);
lack of desire to connect your life with one woman, when so many beauties around promise unearthly bliss;
categorical rejection of the institution of marriage;
young age (according to the man himself);
aversion to crowded celebrations with a limousine and competitions from an annoying toastmaster, etc.

Some of these reasons are temporary, and as a man grows older, he may well be ready for marriage. But the presence of fundamental disagreements should make a woman wonder whether she can wait for the cherished proposal from this partner.

Why doesn't he get married?

We all understand that any delay in a relationship does not arise out of nowhere. Life under one warm roof, spending time together, common interests and activities - this is, so to speak, a marriage. But there is one difference - not official, but civil. Perhaps he is hiding something, and there are very good reasons why he is in no hurry to go to the registry office. So, let's look at the most common ones, according to psychologists.

Married husband

When you start a conversation about legitimizing your status, you hear in response: Let’s wait until the children grow up, She’s sick now, I can’t leave her alone, The company is registered in Her name, etc. and so on. Believe me, this is a very banal situation. Men are not at all enterprising and explain the delay in divorce with familiar phrases. And if you continue to expect that he will soon rush in on a trotter and open the treasured box with a ring, you will hear the very words that you have been dreaming about all the time you have lived together - wake up. He will continue to take advantage of your position, swallow amazing cutlets and praise your talents.

And imagine how convenient it is. After all, periodically returning to his “unloved” wife, he most likely feels the same. People are waiting for him everywhere, tables are set, gifts are given. And both ladies (sometimes there are more of them) are united in their desire to keep the “best” man in the world.

Polygamist

These are easy to identify. They often go on business trips, they can periodically go “hunting” and fishing with friends, and stay at work until the morning. The latter, by the way, happens very often. In such a situation, the man hides his place of employment and will not allow you to enter his office under any pretext. Upon returning from another business trip, he will definitely give you a gift - underwear, sweets, flowers, jewelry. After all, you need to beg for “forgiveness” and not give reason to doubt that you are the one and only.

Bitter experience

If a man has already been in an unsuccessful marriage before, then other, more conscious fears may also stop him. He already knows that he needs to be prepared for the fact that his gentle chosen one may surprise him over time with her strong character and desire to mold everyone to his standards. He may also fear difficulties in relations with her relatives. After all, when a girl marries a divorced man, his past life is studied literally under a microscope and all the mistakes clearly do not work in his favor. In a relationship with a similarly divorced woman, the presence of children may stop a man from getting married. There can also be different situations here - from the fear of not being accepted by other people’s children to the reluctance to waste your feelings not on your relatives (left with your wife), but on other people’s children. In addition, a man may not want to marry a woman with children, realizing the full degree of responsibility that he will have to take on. And we are talking not only about the material side in terms of supporting a large family. But also about the moral one - having found the key to children, having earned their trust and love, becoming family to them, you cannot again force them to experience new divorces and betrayals.

Why a man doesn’t want to marry me: reasons

Why doesn't a man marry me?
There are many reasons why a man does not propose marriage, and we will talk about the most popular ones.

He has a wife

Put down your usual literature for a while and ask him for his passport. Maybe he has had a wife and children for a long time, and you don’t even know about it. Why do you think he knows so much about raising children and the characteristics of women?

You are a backup option

While he is with others, you remain among the reserves. And then he appears like this after another novel and everything seems to be fine, but when a new option is planned, he leaves again.

He likes cars better

The essence is that men like cars more from childhood. It's women who like mothers and daughters. Nothing changes in adult life. So, if he likes to tinker with his car rather than with his children, then it's worth waiting. Perhaps his opinion will change.

He thinks you're hysterical

If you are always in a state of disaster, you have already broken all the dishes, and you just lost your nail file a couple of days ago, then it is not surprising that they don’t want to ask you to get married. You don’t even have to blame everything on PMS, because you have it all year round.

He doesn't have much money

Why doesn't he ask you to get married?
In such a situation, you should be happy for your man, because he turned out to be decent. When a man does not have enough money in his wallet, he tries either to find a rich bride or to earn money first. It’s just nice for a man to think that he is able to give you everything you deserve.

He hasn't moved on from the past yet

Many people believe that men always calmly endure separation, but this is not so. Some people are having a particularly hard time and therefore there is no need to pressure them into getting married. Maybe his old wounds have not yet healed and he has not had time to recover.

He wants to play

Do you think he is interested in preparing for the wedding, shopping and much more? Forget it! A super-team is waiting for him, which will now enter into an important battle. It’s good if you bring him sandwiches and tea, but it’s better if you then just leave until he wants to eat again.

Freedom is important to him

He loves to relax with friends in the bathhouse, with his girlfriends, and then you call him and ask where he is. And in the evening you start a scandal about jealousy. Does he need it?

He's afraid of being a son-in-law

Why doesn't he marry me?
There are men who definitely don’t want to take their mother to the dacha, or even have any contact with her at all. And I want to pretend to be an exemplary family man, digging up beds on weekends, even less. He's just not ready to enjoy jars and so on.

Friends are more important to him

They don’t understand at all why you hooked him, because you’re not right for him. Not only did he now begin to spend less time with them, but he also changed into a formal suit. Friends are trying to protect him from such strong changes in his life. You can rest assured that he will definitely return to them and stop wearing a suit, and you will wait until he proposes to you.

You're annoying him

When you come to him for a few hours, it is still bearable for him. But in the morning he got used to drinking a bottle of beer and eating sausage. And here you force him to eat right, load him with gossip about his girlfriends, constantly chatter and don’t let him sleep. Yes, and you also constantly reproach him for not listening to you.

He's an introvert

Or you could even call him a sociopath. He always does everything alone. Yes, he may be dating you, but this does not mean that he is ready to let you into his life. If he still manages to control himself, then perhaps you will get yours.

You don't know how to cook

He doesn't want to get married.
You shouldn't think that a man will ask you to marry you if you don't know how to cook. If you think that the cook should stand at the stove, and the man should provide for her, then this is clearly not a plus for you. Learn to cook, because you want to win your man.

He loves order in everything

If you don’t like to tidy up and throw your things everywhere, then this will also scare a man. Undoubtedly, he will date you, this does not interfere, but you are clearly not suitable for him for marriage. So get used to order.

He doesn't love you

Yes, for him you are sweet, kind, the best, he eats cutlets with pleasure, but he just doesn’t stay the night. He is silent because he has long realized that you are not for him. You are not inspiring and he doesn’t want to grab stars from the sky, conquer Everest or anything else.

Now you know that a man may indeed have reasons not to ask you to marry, but what to do about it?

Signs of reluctance to get married

How can you understand whether the time has come for your couple to officially register their relationship or whether it’s really too early? No one will tell you the exact time frame. But if you love, understand and respect each other, have been dating for several years, have tried your compatibility in everyday life, but don’t dare take the next step, then you need to think seriously. See if you have noticed the following signs in your partner that indicate his reluctance to enter into a more serious legal relationship:

he constantly takes pity on his married friends and sets his life as an example for them;
he speaks negatively about all marriages, citing popular wisdom: “a good deed cannot be called marriage”;
he is disgusted by any talk about a wedding with a magnificent celebration;
he never talks about marriage when he talks about his plans for his future life;
he systematically emphasizes to you all the delights of an open relationship - without mutual claims, love-killing everyday life and annoying each other, etc.

Another sign that soon no one will present you with the long-awaited ring will be the fact that your loved one will criticize you in every possible way, clinging to every little thing. This will most likely indicate that his attitude towards you has cooled and he is simply looking for a reason to quarrel and break this connection.

Reasons why men don't want to get married

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How, in fact, can one understand the reasons for the reluctance of a beloved man to go to the altar, how can one understand his intentions and feelings? Such a subtle matter as feelings requires a subtle approach to it, so without wise advice - nowhere!

The most common reason that a man does not want to lead his beloved woman to the altar is his “immaturity” as a potential head of the family. Women know that a man very often remains a child at heart, which means that he notices only what he wants to notice, and is often inclined to idealize both the relationship with his loved one and the events of his life. He sets goals for himself and tries to follow them, so he doesn’t want to change his plans at the moment, leaving marriage for the future.
Another common reason for a man’s reluctance to propose marriage to his beloved is the fear of losing his freedom , the independence of today’s life. Friends' stories, or his own assumptions, tell him that after marriage, his wife will rule everything, and only she will tell him what and when to do, where and with whom to go. A man always knows that family is, first of all, a responsibility that will fall on his shoulders. Perhaps he feels unable to provide his wife with everything she needs yet. In most cases, men are afraid that after marriage their beloved woman will not allow them to engage in hobbies, sports, meet friends, or lead an interesting and carefree life.
The reason that a man keeps putting off the wedding may be the fear of seeing his wife change for the worse . Subconsciously, this may be a manifestation of one’s own sad relationship experience, or observation of other married couples. It is also quite possible that such fear in a man is a kind of excuse for himself, because he subconsciously already felt that this woman is not his dream, but does not dare to break off the relationship.
From the sad experience of parents, relatives, neighbors, friends , a man already knows that after a wedding, quarrels, disagreements, and scandals always begin between newlyweds. Sometimes such examples are so revealing and memorable that male witnesses in their own relationships begin to fear the same outcome. And, as a result, they delay the moment of marriage as much as they can.
A man, as a rule, wants to decide everything on his own. If his beloved woman begins to demand something from him, set ultimatums, running “ahead of the locomotive,” then his male pride , and he acts precisely and, on the contrary, contrary to the expectations of his chosen one. He can even become deliberately rude and stops taking into account the woman’s opinion, which causes even greater accusations of callousness and soullessness against him. This is a vicious circle, the relationship is gradually heating up, and there can be no talk of any marriage proposal.
A weak, insecure man can avoid the question of marriage only because he does not feel confident and reliable for his beloved woman. He is constantly gnawed by doubts; he may doubt that she sincerely loves him, because he is sure that there is absolutely nothing to love him for. Even if a woman proves with all her behavior and passion that she only needs him, this man is tormented by the thoughts that the other men around him are much better than him, and over time he will not be able to keep his woman near him.
If the influence of parents on a man is great, and they did not like their son’s chosen one, then the man may not want marriage, obeying the will of the elders in the family. In such a situation, a man is “between two fires” - on the one hand, he is afraid of breaking the parents’ ban, upsetting them, on the other hand, he wants to be with the woman he loves, feels ashamed in front of her, that he remains untenable in matters of relationships. In such a situation, a woman urgently needs to decide how to please her future husband’s parents in order to prevent negative developments in the relationship.
Sometimes lovers who have been dating for a long time or even live under the same roof begin to get used to each other over time. The romance, the attractiveness of their relationship, the intensity of feelings goes away. A man sometimes increasingly comes to the conclusion that his chosen one is not the woman of his dreams , but continues to live with her, to date simply out of habit, out of inertia.
A man who already has some material wealth may not propose to his beloved woman for a long time, because he is not sure of her sincere feelings for him. He may suspect her of mercantile interests in his wealth, and in this situation the task of the chosen one is to prove her love to him, to convince him of the absence of greed.
A shy man who lacks self-confidence may be afraid to propose to a woman for fear of being rejected . In the depths of his soul, he can picture to himself how he proposes his hand and heart, but in reality he cannot find the right moment to propose.

You may be interested in: “I absolutely do not want to get married” - What is hidden behind this phrase? Analysis by a psychologist

Woman's mistakes

It also happens that a man initially saw his partner as a future wife, but during the relationship he became somewhat disappointed in his choice. The following mistakes of a woman can negatively affect a man’s feelings:

Excessive guardianship and desire to please in everything, lack of own opinion and plans for life. At first, men really like this attitude. But over time, communication with such a girl becomes boring and predictable. And a man, first of all, remains a hunter and it should be interesting for him to unravel and recognize his beloved woman;
Neglecting self-care. Even if your partner said that he loves you in any way, you should not blindly believe it and test it in practice. Just as it is more pleasant for you to see your loved one clean-shaven and neatly dressed, so men, who also love more with their eyes, want to see their woman stylish and well-groomed. So try to carry out all procedures without his presence, and appear before his eyes in a homely, but impeccable look;
Thoughtless waste. The attitude towards money on the part of men and women is very different. Therefore, there is no need to shock your future husband with huge expenses on cosmetics or spa treatments - as they say: “knows less, sleeps better”;
Bad qualities as a housewife. In addition to your beauty and your intelligence, your husband will also have to appreciate your culinary abilities, as well as your ability to keep the house clean and tidy. And believe me, for many representatives of the stronger sex the proverb “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” remains relevant today. So, if you don’t want your superficial knowledge of cooking to play the opposite joke on your upcoming marriage, buy special books, sign up for courses and pamper your man with gastronomic masterpieces.

A man doesn’t want to marry me - what should I do?

What if he doesn't marry me?
Marriage is not just a beautiful wedding and receiving an official piece of paper. This is not just an exchange of rings, not photos from a honeymoon, and so on. Marriage is a constant confirmation of feelings, and you yourself made this decision. Just think, do you want to get married if there is no magnificent dress, guests, restaurant, and so on? Just register and that's it. If you are not ready for this, then your love is not so strong.

Don't forget that marriage is in your heart, not in the registry office. It's your personal choice. So is it necessary to put a stamp in your passport and throw a noisy celebration if you are already happy?

If a man doesn’t want to marry you and doesn’t even need registration, then talk to him and find out if he has any prejudices. There is no need to remain silent about this problem if it bothers you. If your man does not want to move to the next level in the relationship, then it is better to break up.

If a man says that he is serious about you, but does not want to get married, then it is worth finding out why this is happening. You need to find out if your relationship has a future. Let him know that you don't want a relationship that has no future. Ask under what conditions he will agree to move to the next level. Often men are simply afraid, especially if they have already been divorced once.

Based on the answers, you can already understand what the prospects are for your couple, as well as how you can cope with your man’s fears.

I want to get married, but he doesn't propose

You can explain a lot to him and convince him that you don’t need a luxurious wedding or you definitely won’t leave him like your ex-wife. In any case, the problem must be discussed if you want the relationship to develop. In addition, he should feel your support, that you are ready to meet him halfway and help him solve problems.

So, to get closer and happier, you need to trust each other and talk more. Then everything will be fine with you.

If your man is constantly trying to avoid the conversation or agrees with you, but is stalling for time, then you are unlikely to have any future. Maybe he's just comfortable with you.

Sometimes a relationship can reach a point where you have to decide whether to leave or stay. But this decision should be made only when nothing else helps and you understand that it is simply impossible to live further.

Give the man a clear ultimatum. He must understand why you are doing this, what you need and under what conditions you will stay. But you must be prepared to carry out your threat. Otherwise, you simply won't be taken seriously.

How to force him to marry?

Undoubtedly, there is a danger that you will not come back, but if you really want a family, then you should abandon the relationship without prospects for several reasons:

Such relationships can drag on for many years and this will definitely not make you happy. It will only get worse every year
After breaking up with a man, you can begin with a light heart to look for another man who will appreciate you
You make a man confused because you stopped asking and persuading, but simply leave him alone with his thoughts
If he meets you, then you will become the main one in this situation. That is, now you can set your own conditions, rather than accept them
If he still doesn’t change his mind, then you will get rid of the wait in time

If the breakup takes place and the man decides that he wants to marry you, then come back, but be sure to achieve what you want. You shouldn’t let him think that he got you back and you can calm down.

Should I leave him if he doesn't marry?

Very often, women think that once they are married, their life will change. But their expectations are not justified. This is understandable, because marriage is a multiple magnifier, which only increases all the advantages and disadvantages of each other that were there before. So if you already have a lot of disagreements, then why get married at all?

After all, in reality, marriage is only an external manifestation of feelings and this is not all that can be obtained from a relationship.

People can be happy for a very long time without a stamp in their passport. Or maybe it’s the other way around - the wedding was beautiful, the travel, the registration, and even the children. But only two remain simple roommates, each of whom has their own life.

There are a lot of women who are simply happy about marriage, do not even really communicate with their husbands and are generally already disappointed in the relationship. So you shouldn’t forget about this the next time you try to ring your chosen one.

There are a huge number of ways that will force a man to go with you to the registry office, but none of them guarantees that they will love you and make you happy.

How to push a man to the right decision

There are a lot of feminine tricks on how to hint to a man that “it’s time to get married.” You can watch films with the ending you want in the form of a wedding , while involving your partner in a discussion of how he would like to see this celebration in your case, etc. You can ask the guy what he liked or didn’t like about the wedding from friends, relatives or acquaintances. You can also tell touching stories about how the lives of your mutual friends changed dramatically for the good after they got married. All this must be done, of course, gently and without pressure. Otherwise, at the fifth random rendezvous in front of a store window with wedding dresses, your man may suspect that he is being manipulated and give an unexpected reaction in the form of a break in the relationship. If your partner knows how to hear your desires and your opinion is important to him, you can gently tell him about the advantages of family life in the form of:

comfort and coziness in the home;
no problems with registering children and raising them;
transition to a new stage in the relationship, which can also become brighter and more emotionally rich;
recognition in society - it is no secret that in business and in career growth, family men are trusted more, considering them more reasonable, more respectable and more sedate.

Force or release

And in conclusion, first figure it out with yourself - is marriage with this person really important for you ? Perhaps your relationship is quite harmonious, and the young man is simply preparing the material ground for future family life. In this case, your hints and distrust of his pure thoughts can cause the opposite effect and cool his feelings. Under no circumstances resort to hysterics and blackmail. Do not make this topic intrusive, when a man will be afraid to simply talk to you, avoiding hearing the same reproaches again. Never tie a man down with pregnancy or a child , such a union will not bring you the expected happiness, and a partner driven into a corner will either run away or agree to marriage, but will blame this manipulation all his life. Do not allow relatives to put pressure on your chosen one. Do not look at others and do not be fooled by their provocations - this is your life and your love, and only you two should make all decisions. Try to analyze both your relationship and your man’s behavior. Having found the reasons in his parental family or in his previous marriage, try to understand him and together discuss the topic of what family life should be like. Knowing or noticing his fears, quietly instill in him confidence that the two of you can handle everything and that only in marriage can you overcome all difficulties and come to a happy and harmonious life.

If you are ready for children and want to have them exclusively in marriage, talk openly about this with your chosen one, talk about your dreams and hopes, emphasize that you see your happy family life only in a couple with him. If a person also loves you, he will understand your desires and draw the right conclusions. And then soon you will have to expect a pleasant surprise with a cherished marriage proposal. If you remain misunderstood by your partner or, even worse, he doesn’t even want to listen to your innermost thoughts, then think before it’s too late whether the person next to you is the right one. And can he become a support for you in family life? Write down on paper your expectations from marriage and give a realistic assessment of your partner’s compliance with your assumptions, objectively note your cardinal differences in matters of family and marriage. If in the end you see that you pinned your hopes on the wrong person, leave this relationship without looking back. Give yourself a chance to meet a worthy couple to create a family in which everyone will be happy - you, your spouse, and your future children.

Why doesn't a man propose?

When a guy doesn’t want to get married, the girl immediately begins to suspect him that his feelings have cooled down. In fact, this is not always the case. Psychologists name several common reasons why this happens.

Negative experiences of parents

If a man lived in a family where not everything was going smoothly, the parents constantly conflicted, found fault with each other, allowed assault and, in the end, simply ran away, then he does not see the point in creating a serious relationship, he believes that there is nothing good in this. I hardly want to repeat the negative life of my mother and father.

Another possible scenario is that the mother raised her son alone because their father abandoned them. In such a situation, offended women often repeat that “all men are assholes”, that there is no happiness in relationships, it is only in novels and films about love.

All these words remain in the child’s memory, he grows up and thinks that creating a good family union is something from the world of fantasy.

It is worth recognizing that in reality there are not many families in the world that you want to emulate. There are many more unsuccessful marriages. Such statistics are not particularly motivating for young people.

Negative experience of first marriage

Often men no longer want to get married because they already have a bad marriage behind them. Nobody wants to step on the same rake. Divorced guys begin to take family ties more seriously.

Therefore, if your man already has a sad experience of marriage in the past, do not be surprised that he is in no hurry to put a stamp in his passport. In this case, it is better not to insist. When the guy is sure that you are the one, he himself will decide to ask you to marry.

Fear of responsibility

A common reason why men don't get married is fear of responsibility. After all, its main part when creating a family falls on men’s shoulders. You need to provide for your wife and children, take care of them, and quickly solve any life problems.

This is especially terrible for guys who are childish. They are simply incapable of taking responsibility. If a woman decides to live with such a person, most likely she will have to carry the family on herself.

Lack of love

If a man doesn't want to get married, maybe he just doesn't love you. This is perhaps the saddest reason for a girl, because nothing can be done about the lack of feelings. You need to be prepared that your chosen one will leave you anyway; you shouldn’t count on marriage.

Many guys just live together or date a woman because it is convenient for them, and not because of strong love. For example, a man is satisfied with his sex life with a girl, he likes her care, the feeling of comfort next to her.

Desire to achieve financial stability

If you never received a marriage proposal, maybe your man just wants to create a foundation for a family, for example, buy a spacious apartment, build a career in order to be able to provide for his wife and children. If the guy is a responsible person, he will consider this particular development of events to be correct.

Perhaps your loved one still lives with his parents, he has nowhere to take you, and there is not enough money to rent housing, or he does not want his family to move from one rented apartment to another.

Material well-being does not come on its own and in a short time, unless your boyfriend is the son of an oligarch. It takes a lot of time and effort. If a man starts a family ahead of time, it will be more difficult for him to cope with this task, since expenses will increase significantly.

Having a mistress

If a guy has a woman on the side or is a womanizer who constantly changes sexual partners, then he definitely doesn’t think about marriage. After all, he is afraid of losing his freedom and ruining his relationships with the other girls.

Overprotection on the part of a woman

Another reason why a young guy or an adult man does not want to get married is the excessive concern of his beloved. This is a big mistake many women make. You shouldn’t take care of your chosen one like a child, otherwise you will simply suffocate him with care. He is no longer a boy.

With your overprotectiveness, you undermine his authority and hurt his pride. So don't be surprised if your relationship doesn't last, let alone a wedding.

Guys love to be taken care of, but everything is good in moderation. He already has a mother - and he doesn’t need a second one.

Psychological problems

Reluctance to get married can be caused by a person’s psycho-emotional state. For example, he had an unhappy love, which left a negative imprint and caused psychological trauma. Because of this, the guy has a barrier that does not allow him to have a serious relationship with another woman.

Having experienced unhappy love once, many men switch to the side of free sexual relations with different girls. They are afraid to love again because they do not want to suffer again. To gain the trust of such a guy, you will have to be patient.

Environmental influence

Men often pay attention to their friends and acquaintances. If the majority of people around him do not want to get married or have a negative attitude towards marriage, then the guy begins to wonder whether he should become a “black sheep” in the company of bachelors.

If, on the contrary, friends are actively starting families and having children, then the man will want to match them.