Achieving success is an important part of every person's life. By achieving goals, he moves through life and makes it better, reveals his potential and realizes himself. Today you can find a huge number of different effective and efficient techniques and methods for implementing plans, and these methods are almost always environmentally friendly, i.e. do not harm other people - neither their mental nor physical state.
However, some people are not used to being guided by considerations of humanity and do not think at all about others. They do not hesitate to go over their heads and use completely unethical and even unacceptable methods to achieve their goals. And one of the first places on the list of such methods is manipulation. In the article “People Manipulation,” we talked in detail about what it is, and if you want, you can brush up on your knowledge. And today we’ll talk about some techniques for protecting against manipulation, many of which are discussed in our program “Profiling: Understanding People’s Psychology.”
A little about psychological protection
When talking about resisting manipulation, we are talking about psychological defense, which refers to a person’s use of methods to weaken or eliminate the psychological damage inflicted on him by others.
One of the first and most ancient methods of defense as such can be considered flight, as well as hiding and freezing. Only after this can we talk about the desire to influence the aggressor, a counter attack and some tricks. These types of defenses can still be observed today in most animal species.
Similar methods are found in the history of relations between people, from prehistoric battles to modern wars. Here are the analogues with the already announced protection options we have:
- flight, as well as its weaker forms such as retreat or evasion;
- camouflage, allowing you to become invisible to the attacker;
- the use of natural and/or creation of artificial shelters and obstacles in the enemy’s path;
- active defense against attack by an attacker, i.e. counterattack;
- controlling the intentions and/or behavior of the aggressor, which includes all sorts of tricks and tricks.
Often, when defending against an attack, passive actions predominate. This can be explained by the fact that active actions are usually used when a threat comes from another living creature. Passive ones are relevant in cases with the elements and other factors of non-animal origin.
As a result, we have five basic forms of protection:
- escape;
- use of shelter;
- disguise;
- counterattack/attack;
- control.
At the same time, it can be noted that the combined use of active and passive protection is quite appropriate. Such a complex can form an independent defensive tactic. For example, when using attack and flight together, you can cleverly secure your personal boundaries: eliminate the attacker or remove yourself from him. It will depend on what result you want to achieve. And with the simultaneous use of cover and control, you can build barriers that will make it difficult for the attacker to attack, or remove existing obstacles to influence the attacker.
Despite this, the only thing that would seem to remain without a mate would be the disguise. But if we clarify that the purpose of masking is to stop the flow of data about oneself coming to the offender, then ignoring can become a couple. Ignoring blocks the flow of information about the attacker coming to us.
On the one hand, it may seem that acting in this way is not entirely logical. But this is not true if the information we perceive itself poses a threat. This may include some “prophecies” from the outside, curses, accusations, rumors, etc. Ignoring is also suitable for cases where no other forms of protection work, and you have to adapt to stress.
Now we have six behavior options, which are so-called pair connections. They can be used as a defensive base against manipulative influence from the outside. But before we talk more specifically about each of them, it will be useful to get a little practice. Watch this video where business consultant Igor Tkach talks about communicating with manipulators.
How to get out of the web of a manipulator?
Protection against manipulation is based on the classical principles of martial arts. Their essence comes down to turning the weapon against the attacker. The harder your opponent attacks, the stronger your counter-action. It turns out that your enemy is actually fighting against himself. Below are various techniques for protecting against manipulation, collected from various sources, including special methods developed in counterintelligence. For your actual situation, you will have to determine for yourself which methods will be most suitable.
If you have been manipulated and succumbed to it, then this can be equated to infection. The disease means that you have become infected and have become a victim of a manipulator. To fight the disease, you need to be able to make the correct diagnosis and choose treatment for it.
Here are some techniques that you can use to diagnose yourself. If you notice these symptoms, it means you have become infected. The techniques are taken from a textbook for economic intelligence officers.
METERS
(METHOD OF CURRENT RATIONAL SELF-CONTROL)
If you have been manipulated and tried to brainwash you, then turn on the control of thinking time
. As soon as you find yourself continuing to speculate on other people's ideas after contact, it is very likely that you have come under attack. It's commonplace. The entire affiliate business is built on infecting someone else’s mind with the right ideas. It's not very common. Because not a single victim wanted to become one.
The more actively someone else’s thought is processed in your brain, the longer you analyze it, the deeper your transformations, the better you are charged.
"Method of introspection"
Introspection is looking into yourself, inside your subconscious, inside your sensations. Trust your subconscious. Very rarely the feelings that bother you are groundless. Your intuition will tell you where to look and what to look for. And although this method is not accurate, it is used even in reconnaissance. It's like shooting at night. It’s better to close your eyes completely and shoot by ear than to stare into the darkness. The main thing is not to neglect this method.
"Method of Meditation"
Relax and focus. Concentrate on the object. Your subconscious mind will bring answers to your queries to the surface.
General recommendations for identifying manipulation by a partner
To recognize whether you are really being manipulated, you need to do the following:
1. Open attention channels and connect memory to capture and record the slightest nuances of the object’s behavior. Choose an appropriate role and position that allows you to see the object from the angles you need, not be distracted, concentrate your attention and record information as completely as possible.
2. Analyze data by connecting logic to the analysis of behavioral observations.
3. Connect the analyzer of the unconscious, resorting to its stimulation using appropriate methods. A look inside yourself, a review of internal sensations should give you not only answers to the observations received. The habit of analyzing internal experiences opens channels for unconscious processing of information, which leads to a sharpening of intuition.
4. Don't forget that the best defense is an attack. Practice your own influence, and you will not find yourself among the defeated.
5. Remember: “Strangers do not betray.” Take a look around...
Other techniques for protecting against manipulation
"Time out."
In negotiations, never agree to the first offer. Don't say yes or no. Better take some time to think.
So, always take time for yourself to think, and try not to give it to others if you want to manage them. If you come across an equally competent opponent and take this time, then be glad that your manipulation did not work. The game is more interesting with a smart partner.
"Pause".
When there are attacks, show effects, or attempts to put you into an unstable state, pause yourself. And the longer, the better. During the pause, the mind will awaken. You can imagine yourself as if inside your own aura, which protects you from all harmful arrows of influence. At the same time, you can help yourself with formulas of suggestion such as “I am not a garbage can to draw in the fear, threat, resentment, humiliation that is emitted at me.” Simple techniques, but they help a lot in resisting manipulation and avoiding the bifurcation point.
"Do not rush".
If they start rushing you, then calmly say: “Hurry is only needed when catching fleas” or “A dog in a hurry gives birth to blind puppies”, “What is done quickly takes a long time to tell”, “If you don’t rush, you’ll get there”, “Don’t rush, otherwise you’ll be late” or “I have a principle: a responsible decision must be made with a fresh mind and after it has rested for a while.”
"Switching".
When there is a clear impact, when you feel like you are being pulled in like a fly in a web, switch to extraneous details: consider his tie, his manner of speaking, etc. When given the order “Don’t think about the white monkey for 10 minutes!” everyone only thinks about her. How to execute an order? Think about the red crocodile. If you are switched to something else, think about your own, focus on it, look at your partner’s teeth, a wrapped piece of paper, listen to the sound of a motor on the street, concentrate on your hands - and you will resist the manipulator.
"Key".
You can get a lighter or a pen. But in order for these items to play the role of distracting maneuvers and turn on your confidence and independence from the manipulator, you need, when playing with them, to remember your success or any situation where you were on top. Then these items serve as a “key” that will turn on your resource of confidence and independence at the right time.
"Mandate".
If you refuse the manipulator’s request, when you feel a vile sense of guilt, take the mandate into your hands and, like a shield, shield yourself from the rapist. Refer to the laws and rules existing in the company that cannot be violated in the same way as the Criminal Code. You can refer to the lack of authority or prohibitions of higher authorities. But just don’t try to explain the refusal by some existing circumstances. That's it for you. The manipulator will sit on you with his entire body.
"Tactics Revealed."
Tell him that you recognize his manipulation tactics well and do not want to play the role of a mouse in the cat’s teeth. When the tactic is discovered, the manipulator usually stops his manipulation. Still, he is not a completely dishonest person; sometimes he is ashamed.
"Actions".
If you feel that they are seriously studying you and trying to suggest something to you, then you can use techniques to counter suggestion. For example, count the number of words in a partner's phrase, and their hidden subtext will never work. You can hum some kind of melody to yourself and, in order not to lose the rhythm, you can maintain it with micromovements.
"Shocking images."
You can imagine your partner with a frying pan on his head or wearing a jester's hat. You can imagine him using cotton wool and a small mirror to squeeze out a boil on a soft spot. After these images, you are too tough for him. His suggestions and manipulation will not take place.
“Look into the sacred part of the personality.”
And at the same time, successful people rely on the “holy” part of humanity, and not on their “devilish” side. If you see a witch as a princess, she will not be offended. Treat people as if they are good, and they will trust you. And this will oblige them to try to be good.
If swindlers and traitors knew all the benefits of honesty, they would become honest because of the benefits.
Betrayal is not so clearly a bad thing.
› Firstly, scammers and traitors teach us to be smart.
› Secondly, they show us our honesty.
› Thirdly, being a traitor is already a punishment.
So the best punishment for betrayal is to ignore it. Will you really give your enemies a reason to rejoice if you show how it hurt you?
There will always be people willing to take advantage of teasing that makes you impatient
› What is a “red rag” for you personally? What makes you angry?
› Quickly make this registry and throw it away.
› Do you want someone to be able to use this and tease you like that bull?
› Why be so vulnerable?
› Strength is in indifference.
Apply fog to protect against manipulation
Often, bosses choose a “scapegoat” in the team and criticize this employee with or without reason, sometimes turning to outright rudeness. This is how managers try to assert themselves in the team. But this does not make it any easier for the employee himself. Of course, it’s not worth getting into a quarrel - this can only make the situation worse. Psychologists recommend not to show your weakness, but to remain confident and outwardly agree with manipulators. That is, you say to your boss: “I’ll think about how to take your proposal into account in my work,” “I’ll definitely think about this unexpected idea!”, “I need to think about whether this has a direct bearing on me...”, “Maybe...”, and in fact, you remain unconvinced. This way you will create a fog and discourage your opponent - his attempts to get the better of you will be defeated.
Emotional exercise
The human brain automatically blocks information that can harm it. In other words, a person does not want to perceive information that is dangerous to him, using various barriers. However, they can be circumvented by using various emotions and influencing feelings. This can be pity, anger, guilt and responsibility, which forces you to perform certain actions.
First of all, you need to learn to control your emotions and not give in to desire. So you need to set priorities and goals for yourself. For example, under the influence of alcohol, a person may commit rash acts that he will later regret. Therefore, you must first weigh everything and soberly assess the situation before acting.
Interesting: 60 ways to make a decision quickly and easily
