Where should you start?
First, you need to understand whether the young man is in the mood for communication, whether he is currently busy with important matters. Test the waters with general questions:
- "Hello! How are you?"
- “How did you get to work today?”
- “How was training yesterday?”
- “I really want to cheer you up. How can I do that?"
- “What good happened to you today?”
- “Have you already had lunch? What delicious food did they serve in the cafeteria today?”
- “Do you know what happened to...?”
If you don’t receive a response for a long time, don’t panic!
A person may simply be busy with business. As soon as he is free, he will answer immediately. How to get the attention of the guy you like
How to start a conversation with a guy on VK
The first minutes of a conversation with a man can largely determine further communication. You are given the opportunity to show your interest, demonstrate originality and give impetus to the development of relationships.
In order for everything to work out, you must adhere to some rules:
- Study the object of your desire . Social Networks are an excellent platform for dating, because literally with one click you can find out almost everything about any person. Find out as much as possible about the guy you like: where he studies or works, what music he listens to, whether he likes sports or cinema. In the future, this knowledge will play into your hands.
- Find the right time . Most likely, you would not start a conversation with a guy who is busy with school or work. This rule also applies to correspondence - choose a convenient time, the evening is best, this time of day is free from business and conducive to confidential communication.
- Start your attack . Think over your first message - it should be catchy. It's good if you get straight to the big guns and start with an interesting question on a related topic. For example: “I saw a post on your page about a movie that I’ve been wanting to watch for a long time. Can you tell me about him? I think you understand this." Men love to help, so he is unlikely to pass by, and you will have a reason to continue communication. If you don’t want to immediately touch on his interests, a regular warm greeting will do, give him a good mood and a smiley face - you’ll have a better chance that the communication won’t immediately fizzle out.
Don’t be afraid to seem strange or intrusive - there is a high probability that the guy will be amazed by your willingness to write first, and he will be happy to support the conversation.
Simple questions
Ask simple questions that don't require much thought to start an easy conversation. With the help of such questions, a trusting environment will be created.
- Did you have a good day?
- What mood are you in?
- What are you doing?
- Do you have lunch in the cafeteria or do you bring food with you?
- How long did it take you to get through traffic jams yesterday?
- It’s so cold at work, but have you turned on the heating?
- Have you already been on vacation?
- Will you go to training today?
What else to talk about
Observations
When a conversation reaches a dead end, we desperately try to restart it. We think for a long time about what we can talk about, and do not notice that we can continue the conversation, discussing everything that is happening around us.
1. If you first met your interlocutor, then it would be logical to ask him about the reason for his stay in this place.
2. Start the conversation with appearance. Tell us what you are wearing today and why you chose it.
3. What kind of people are around you?
Perhaps you or your interlocutor will meet someone you know.
4. Is there music playing? What smell do you smell? Does your opponent wear perfume?
Future plans
Many people like to talk about their plans, tell them what they are going to do, and what they expect from the future.
1. Do you have plans for the weekend?
This is a great topic to talk about. You can start talking about it with someone you already know.
2. What event are you looking forward to?
It could be a festival, music concert, exhibition, store opening, holiday or parade.
3. Do you have a goal? What do you want to do in the future?
4. Where would you prefer to live: in a village or in a city?
5. Are you planning to go abroad?
6. Which university do you want to go to?
Human relationships
We are always surrounded by a large number of people, which is why this topic is interesting to us. For example, girlfriends decided to talk about their boyfriends or old friends started talking about their wives.
1. How are things in the family? How are your wife and children?
A family man will be pleased to tell about the achievements of his child and his beautiful wife.
2. Talk about friends. Do you have friends? Do you often quarrel?
3. Do you change friends like gloves, or have you been friends with the only one for many years?
Questions to get to know him better
If you have aroused the interest of a young man, it will be quite easy to get to know him; you can ask questions on any topic. But it’s better to take an interest in his childhood, his favorite activities at a very young age.
Ask about this in a relaxed atmosphere; if he is relaxed, he will be able to open up to you completely. The friendly atmosphere is conducive to a frank conversation, you will feel that he sympathizes with you.
- What hobbies did you have as a child?
- Do you remember your first friend? What kind of relationship did you have?
- Did you fall in love in kindergarten?
- Which animals do you like?
- What attracts you? Hunting, fishing, sports?
- How do you like to relax?
- What action can cause you great irritation?
- Have you been to summer camp? What is the most striking event, do you remember?
- What's your favorite movie genre?
- Do you like computer games? How do you feel about them?
- What kind of cuisine do you like? Food preferences?
When you don’t know what to ask, think about what you’re most interested in learning about him at that moment.
What to talk about with a stranger
Strangers are often intimidating: you want to come up, say hello, strike up a conversation - but how? There is reason for timidity, but there are also trump cards. If a girl initiates the first conversation when meeting, she receives maximum attention from the guy.
These days, despite all the efforts of feminism and the desire for equality, it is still something amazing. For guys, the ability to meet a girl on the street is an indicator of coolness. They have an established opinion that only the most dashing and confident guys who cannot be embarrassed can do this. Girls, on the other hand, do not take this ability seriously: it may speak of courage, but it is unlikely to be considered an important trait or considered something like a developed superpower.
You will get his full attention and keep him interested no matter what you say. This is a fun game: even if the first line is something strange and out of place, the guy will answer and continue the conversation out of surprise. And most likely you will seem not like a girl who failed the acquaintance, but rather unusual or mysterious. That is, even a mistake will be beneficial - and this is incredibly convenient.
You will have to pull topics for conversation out of thin air: if the situation is unfolding in a public place, observe what the guy is doing and say something about it. If you need to meet a guy online, we suggest what is best to write - here. If there is no reason, say something about the guy himself or ask about him or anything else.
But it’s better to be on the safe side: here are a few topics for conversation with a stranger or a guy you barely know.
- Hobbies. Questions like “What are your hobbies?”, “What do you usually do in your free time?”, “Do you have a hobby?” are suitable questions.
- Hedonism. Usually - in terms of food. “What is your favorite dish?” “What dish would you like to try?” “What would you never eat?” “What food do you associate with childhood?” “What kind of cuisine do you like?”
- Purchases. “Do you like shopping?” “Which stores do you usually dress in?” (here you can also praise the style), “Do you think online stores will eventually supplant regular ones?”
- Family. Quite a personal topic, but you can approach it carefully. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" “Do you get along with your relatives?” “Do you have family traditions that everyone respects?” “Tell me about the relative with whom you have the best relationship.”
- Pets. "You have a pet?" “Do you like cats or dogs more?” “Have you ever wanted to have a pet? If so, which one?” “Why does your cat have this particular nickname?” “What is the most unusual pet you have ever seen?”
- Compliment + question. “You have a great figure. Do you play sports?”, “Wow, you are very smart, you probably read a lot. What kind of books do you like?", "What a quick fix you got with that thing. Perhaps you understand engineering?”
- Favorite books and films. It’s a blissful topic that we can talk about for a long time - after all, everyone has them.
On the street
The street is the best place to meet on a casual occasion. Questions and compliments are great topics here.
Here are two of the most working examples:
- Young man, you have a very beautiful scarf. The color matches the eyes perfectly.
- Young man, won’t you help me get to Krasnoznamennaya? I seem to be lost and can’t figure out how to reach her.
If you feel confident enough, you can use some pick-up artist tool: ask to smile, say that this is a fateful meeting or something like that. Remember that you will have attention and interest in any case.
It’s convenient to meet guys on the street who walk dogs. His pet is the perfect first conversation topic. Praise the dog, ask about its breed, name, age, character. If you dare, offer to take a walk together sometime. Most likely, he will not refuse.
By correspondence
Dating by correspondence is safer: you don’t see your interlocutor, and everything is not felt so acutely. Again, girls text first much less often than guys, so even “Hey, you look really cute :)” would be a great start. Men so rarely receive attention from women first that they are always sensitive to it - no matter how it is expressed.
When the conversation starts, move on to one of these topics:
- Interests and hobbies.
- Discussion of profile details - activities, interests, favorite music, if you communicate via correspondence on VK. If it’s on a dating site, you can ask about it without being able to look in the corresponding blocks.
- Travel - accomplished and desired
- Outlook on life
- Plans
- Job
- Attitude to various issues
- Entertainment
- Plans for the weekend
- Cinema and books
About life and favorite activities
Such questions are suitable for dating and communicating with a guy on social networks, for example, on VK. Touching on topics about achievements, childhood memories, family, hobbies, pets, you can learn more about each other.
To decide on the topic that is most interesting for a young man, look at the section with personal data on his VKontakte page. All the necessary information can be indicated there.
- Do you like long trips?
- What are your musical preferences?
- What books do you read?
- What genres of films do you like?
- Do you like football? What about hockey?
- Have you ever gone swimming?
- What are your favorite childhood games?
- Favorite pets? Who would you like to have?
- What do you like to do with your own hands?
What can you talk about with a guy via text?
There are much more topics for conversation with a man than it seems. Finding the ideal one is not so difficult: study his profile on VKontakte, look at the list of his interest groups, the amount of music and the number of reposts, and you will immediately have an approximate map of his hobbies.
What you can talk about using this knowledge:
- Tell us about the reason for meeting . Greet your interlocutor and tell him why you decided to write. Tell me what interested you: you saw his message in a group about cinema, his photographs seemed original, or you are just looking for a friend.
- Discuss his interests . Before you touch on areas of his passion that you don't understand, do some research on them. If it's a movie, find out about the latest news, remember the actors and directors, study the plot. This will make you an invaluable interlocutor with whom a passionate person will be interested.
- Get to know him . Don’t think that everything will be limited to studying the page on VK: ask directly about what interests him, find common ground. It has been proven that a person is extremely pleased when people are interested in him.
Once your communication becomes more trusting, there will be no need to artificially search for topics for conversation. Your conversation will be relaxed, dialogue will become much easier.
Humor
To make the communication atmosphere relaxed and relieve tension, use humorous questions. Humor helps people not only relax, but also feel charming. Diversify the dialogue, win his sympathy.
- What do you do with your alarm clock if it rings ahead of time?
- What time of year can you compare yourself to?
- Do you have a sock folding system?
- Do you take out the trash in slippers or change your shoes?
- Do you like walking on frozen puddles and listening to the ice crunch?
- What are you talking about in the morning with the shaggy and unshaven guy in the mirror?
- Do you think soup for breakfast is ok?
- Do you like popping bubbles on film?
- Have you tried singing while stuck in an elevator?
Humor will save you from any awkward situation
Funny questions for a guy
If you are worried and wondering what to talk about with a guy, especially when you have run out of all possible topics for conversation, move on to jokes. Any serious conversation becomes boring over time, so it is necessary to dilute it with funny topics.
- Do you wake up immediately to your alarm in the morning?
- What color would you repaint your refrigerator?
- Would you like to take a walk in the park in just a robe?
- Would you like to be able to fly?
- Do you have a sock cleaning routine?
- Do you like jumping in puddles after the rain?
- Do you sing in the shower? Which songs?
- How do you feel about your appearance? Do you like the image you see in the mirror, or do you want to change something?
- Would you fly into space with me if I invited you?
Love and women
If you are wondering how a young man might behave towards you, find out about his previous experiences and beliefs towards girls.
Some tricky questions will help with this. Here are some examples:
- What valuable qualities should a girl have?
- What can be repulsive in a girl?
- What should be the professional activity of your future wife?
- Should a woman take care of the house or build a career?
- Do you remember your first love?
- Can a girl be the first to talk about her feelings?
- Have you ever had unreciprocated feelings?
- Do you consider yourself an amorous person?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Do you consider yourself a romantic?
- What is your attitude towards polygamy?
- Could you fall in love with a girl through online correspondence?
Topics for conversation with men and women
How to behave when there is nothing to say?
1. Ask open-ended questions
, since the interlocutor will be able to tell a lot of things.
2. It happens that you don’t understand what a person is talking about.
, because you know little about that topic. In order not to interrupt the conversation, paraphrase the words spoken by the interlocutor. This will show not only that you are interested, but also that you were actually listening to your opponent. If you can’t paraphrase, then ask more clarifying questions. This will show your interest in the chosen topic.
3. Exchange little things.
When a person begins to tell the details of an event, it attracts listeners.
4. No need to be witty
because it turns people off. Start the conversation with a simple greeting.
5. Prepare a few stock phrases,
to avoid awkwardness.
6. Smile, only naturally.
A smile attracts people and saves them during an awkward situation.
7. In a big company
It is important to introduce yourself and shake hands with those around you.
8. Stop worrying about what people think of you.
After all, those around you think the same way, so embarrassment is unnecessary.
Conversations about hobbies
If you find out what a person is interested in, then you will know almost everything about him.
A hobby is not a profitable business, since we do it not to make money, but to relax and have fun. Some people like yoga, others like meditation and shopping, others like photography.
These questions will help you determine your interlocutor's hobbies:
What do you do in your free time?
This is a simple yet effective question because you can learn about more than just one hobby. If the person answers you vaguely, then you can ask more specific questions, such as:
1. Do you play any musical instrument?
2. Can you draw?/Do you do art?/Do you like to color pictures?
3. Do you like to dance?
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4. Let's talk about gadgets, cars or new technologies.
This topic is suitable if you are communicating with a guy. Many girls are not interested in discussing computers and technology as such, but this does not mean that everyone is.
There is still a chance that you will meet a lady interested in technology.
Talking about work/school
Most people start conversations with these topics. After all, children and adults spend a lot of time in these institutions.
But just be careful, because not everyone will like these topics. Older people, as well as people who do not like the place where they earn money, will not support a conversation on this topic.
If you do not come across the above-mentioned interlocutors, then you can ask the following questions:
1. What do you do or what do you study?
This is the easiest way to start or continue a conversation.
2. What is your favorite (least favorite) subject at school or university?
3. Are you on good terms with your work colleagues or classmates?
People like to pick on others or gossip differently. This may not be the best thing to do, but this way you will learn more about the character of the interlocutor.
4. Do you like your job or do you go there solely to improve your financial situation?
5. What is your dream job?
Provocation
It takes time to answer difficult, tricky questions. Don't rush, let the person think about it.
- Do you use swear words in your speech? In what cases and why?
- Can a woman and a man be friends?
- What could be the reason for your fear?
- Are you a gambling person?
- What makes you cry?
- Do you have a cherished dream?
- The main value in life?
- Do you want to live forever?
- What will you never dare to do, even for a big reward?
Taboo topics
- If you cannot answer such a question yourself, then you should not ask it to your interlocutor. Otherwise, you risk finding yourself in an awkward situation. In response, you can hear not only a point of view, but also a request to express your opinion.
- Do not ask direct “exam” questions on knowledge of a particular discipline. They give the impression of verification. For example: Are you a chemist by training? Then name the 17th element of the periodic table. Are you studying French? Then tell me what Mylene Farmer sings about in this song.
- Don't rush to bring up topics related to his previous relationships, reasons for separation, or future children.
- You should not touch upon monetary topics: the amount in the account, property. You may seem selfish and tactless to him. Try to contain your curiosity at least at first. If you don't have enough patience, then test the waters with indirect questions: Can you live a year without work? Would you give your dad a car/travel for his birthday?
- You can run into pitfalls in religious, social, and political directions. By exceeding the norms of correctness, you can accidentally cause an insult and disrupt the established intimacy. If a guy is passionate or fanatical about any of these issues, it will soon show in his phrases. It will be up to you to decide whether to accept his point of view.
Be careful what you say at the very beginning of communication.
How to behave on a first date
What to ask a guy to diversify communication on VKontakte - examples
The same type of questions “how are you?” and “what are you doing?” can bore even the most persistent interlocutor.
In order not to look boring, it is important to always have a few sure-fire questions in stock that can make a guy think:
- If you had a million dollars, what would you spend it on?
- If you could choose your superpower, what would it be?
- Imagine being able to travel back in time and change history. What would you like to do?
- What kind of vacation will you choose, active and extreme or lazy and measured?
- Imagine that you caught a goldfish: what 3 wishes would you like to make?
- Would you like to become famous? If yes, in what area?
- If you were a writer, what would your books be about?
Try to diversify your questions. Even if you want to know more about his relationships with girls, you shouldn't pay too much attention to it. Dilute fantastic questions with ordinary everyday ones, but do not turn communication into a complete quiz. After his answer, don’t be lazy to answer your own question and compare your thoughts on this matter.
Recommendations for communicating on the Internet
- Don’t demand an answer, it’s better to think about what you might be interested in.
- Limit the number of questions, otherwise you may make the interlocutor feel like you are interrogating or testing.
- After asking a question, wait for a detailed answer. Don’t rush, don’t interrupt, don’t answer your own question by sharing your experience.
Remember not only your questions (to avoid repetition), but also your answers. For example, you will find yourself in a not very pleasant situation if you suddenly start asking a vegetarian what kind of barbecue sauce he prefers. Memorize or keep notes on topics he avoids. This will help you not seem intrusive.- To make your purpose clearer, explain the reason for your question. Give a preliminary introduction to an exciting topic. For example, you want to find out if there are problems with alcohol in his family. Complain about noisy neighbors who constantly swear when drunk. After that, ask if he is familiar with such cases. Even if he gives an answer that is not entirely in the right direction, you will be able to understand how he feels about drunkenness or how he can resolve issues with brawlers.
- Use diminutive suffixes more carefully. Not every man likes baby talk. And girls who communicate in this manner are considered childish. Often statements are distorted and take on a different meaning due to the presence of a diminutive suffix in them. For example, a question about “business” sounds interested, but about “business” - with disdain.
- Show sincerity. Boredom cannot be hidden even behind hundreds of questions. Genuine interest will be highly appreciated by a man. An attentive and active listener has every chance of continuing communication.
Married girlfriend and young mother
Often, after marriage, women become immersed in family problems and forget about communicating with friends. Thus, distance occurs, as a result of which the woman is confined within four walls. The world is limited only by communication with your spouse and small child. I have absolutely no time for myself.
It is important to understand that a woman is busy with her family during this period. It is worth realizing that this period in life will pass as soon as the child grows up a little.
Secular topics are of little interest to a woman. Most likely, you will have to listen to concerns related to the child and related problems. You need to be patient, listen and support your friend. You are a friend to her, a truly close person. Only she can tell you everything, to share this joy, to complain about the difficulties that exist.
It is important to feel the happiness that a friend shares. Believe me, it cannot be compared with anything. Even if the topic of children is not yet interesting, it is best to listen, talk, and show how interested you are.
Over time, you should gradually direct conversations towards general topics that previously interested you. Don't think that your friend has changed radically. After some period, it will be possible to achieve balance in affairs, which will allow the friendship to continue much more actively than before.
You should be aware that with the birth of a baby, a woman is able to completely escape from her usual life. It is you who will become a source of useful and interesting information to which she will listen. It is worth turning to such topics of conversation as:
- Mutual acquaintances and friends;
- Trends in the world of fashion and beauty;
- A film that was released, an exhibition of a fashionable artist;
- A new dish to try;
- Opening a restaurant or cafe;
- A new book worth reading.
Your friend will really be grateful to you. Such information will help her not to completely fall out of the world around her and not to move away from the company.
It is possible that your friend will not be able to meet with you often due to worries related to the child and everyday issues. You can always keep in touch by phone or on social networks.
A friend who has no mutual acquaintances
You can always start a conversation with a compliment to get the conversation started. It is worth paying attention to the girl’s jewelry and her clothes. No one can resist praise regarding her appearance and original hairstyle. If you note that a girl has a rather interesting tattoo, you can become much closer friends with her.
You can choose the most neutral topics for conversation:
- sport;
- news from the world of cinema;
- fashion trends;
- beauty, mask recipes.
You can talk about everything you see right now. It is necessary to further act on the situation:
- during a walk – architecture, changes in the urban environment;
- in a cafe - about food, interior features;
- at a party - about what you like here, what drinks, food.
During a long-awaited meeting with a friend
Imagine that you had a girlfriend, but time passed, a spouse appeared, children, a new job, a new situation. After some time, a completely new meeting took place.
You can choose the following conversation topics:
- Memories that relate to past adventures. You can mention relationships, common interests, or just laugh. It is the past that will help you relax in order to subsequently find common ground that may exist in the present.
- Women's themes. Some time has already passed, but you still remain women, as a result of which you should not forget about fashion and beauty. Believe me, this topic will always be interesting. You can talk about your family and children, show photographs of loved ones. You can always discuss a new dish, the opening of a fitness room.
- Favorite places and hobbies. You can go to your favorite restaurant, have a cup of coffee, and take a little break from your routine. Remember how you spent time flirting with a waiter who quit a long time ago.