How to make a man work: reasons for laziness and ways to overcome it

Find the reason for laziness

A person is a rational being, so if a person does something or does not do something, he has reasons for this. Laziness is never without cause. You can look for a long time for a way to make a man work, but you won’t find it until you can understand the true reasons for idleness. What could they be? A person who has lost his job may become disappointed in people. He will think that if he was kicked out of his favorite workplace once, this story may repeat itself. A man may not find himself and his specialty. Don’t be surprised, not all people even by the age of 40 know what they want to be when they grow up. Therefore, think about why your loved one spends his free time lying on the couch and not doing business. If the situation was different a year ago, then the reason must be sought in this period of time. But if a man has never been hardworking, the cause of laziness must be sought in childhood.

Marina's story, 27 years old

The girl told the psychologist that her husband had not worked for six years. The couple got married when Marina had already graduated from the university, and Sergei was still studying in his fifth year by correspondence. At the same time, she managed to immediately get a job, she quickly made a career and now earns good money. As for her husband, he still cannot find himself and continues to sit on his wife’s neck.

At first he tried to combine study and work, but he said that it was very difficult for him, and the salary was very small. And Sergei quit. They began to live on their wife’s salary, plus the husband’s mother helped. Six years have passed, and things are still there. The man doesn’t work, Marina feeds him, and his mother puts on shoes and clothes.

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However, he never found a job that suited him. I didn't really look for it. Marina was tired of all this worse than bitter radish, and she turned to a psychologist for help. She is at a loss: whether to continue discussing this topic with her husband, or to spit on everything and leave him.

See a Psychotherapist

Can’t figure out the soul of a person on your own and find the root of laziness? See a psychotherapist. You will not be able to independently answer the question of how to make a man work until you understand the complex spiritual catacombs of your lover. A specialist will be able to understand in a few sessions how a man lives, what he wants and why he is unable to achieve his goals. You can talk to a therapist after each session. The doctor will give you instructions on what to do. Thanks to simple techniques, you can revive in a man the joy of life and the forgotten desire to realize his potential. A man is stubborn and doesn’t want to go to a specialist? Think of your lover as a child who is wandering and does not want to take a bitter pill. The unemployed will not want to listen to the truth and will resist it. Convince the person that they need to work on themselves, otherwise the situation will only get worse.

Psychotherapist's opinion

In such situations, specialists in this field offer their consultations, a visit to which will help women delve deeper into the problem. We need to find out why a man lives at the expense of his wife.

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Either this is a temporary phenomenon, caused by objective difficulties that will change in the foreseeable future, or you are dealing with an inveterate parasite from whom you cannot expect anything good. In the first case, the man should be given the opportunity to rehabilitate himself, and in the second, he should run away from him.

It is also necessary to delve into the division of men into types and learn about the reasons why some of them are dependents.

Motivate

Any woman can become a muse for a man. Therefore, if your lover is depressed and does not want to get out of bed, know: this is also your fault. How to make a man work? Motivate him. How? A girl who loves her man, is proud of him and encourages him in every possible way, instills confidence in the young man. Give your man well-deserved compliments, be kind and courteous to him. Don't let your beloved spend all his time at home. Take your man for walks. Walk in the park, go to restaurants. Try to ignite the fire of feelings that burned within you in the first months of dating. When you can provoke a response from a man, get him to admit that he is ready to do anything in the world for you. And after this phrase, say that you want him to find a job. A similar phrase, said without reproach and casually, will help a man concentrate on his goal and satisfy your desire.

What ways to motivate men don't work?

give him money. You should never even give a man a loan. You are destroying yourself and him. The man will feel guilty towards you for taking money from you, and you now know that he is a weakling. He will be angry with you, without understanding why, this will definitely not strengthen the relationship, much less inspire him;
feel sorry for him. To think that he cannot support his family and try to help him. Pay your bills temporarily instead - rest assured, there is nothing more permanent than temporary. Go to work yourself, especially a second one. You let him know that he is weak and has taken on a tug that is too tough for him. And you are strong if you can save him;

Raise your self-esteem

Why does a person become depressed? His self-esteem decreases and he loses faith in his strength. How to make a man work and earn money? You need to prove to your faithful that he is the best of the stronger sex living on the planet. A girl should encourage the guy, give him compliments and help him in every possible way to get rid of depressing thoughts. Tell the man that you love him and list why exactly. Don't flatter, tell the truth. Tell them that everyone has difficult moments, that without falling it is difficult to feel the true taste of victory. Don't let the guy complain about life and himself. Nip such conversations in the bud. Which people are most likely to experience depression? The unemployed. If a person has the opportunity to lie on the couch and reflect on the meaninglessness of existence, then soon he will begin to feel melancholy. Give your man different tasks. Let him go to the store, nail shelves or fix something. Praise the young man for every action performed. The more a man works, the faster the realization will come to him that it is time for him to get down to real business, and not the work of an apprentice.

Help me find a job

How to make a man work? Advice that will help a girl will be very simple. Take the first step yourself. Go to one of the popular sites and post a man’s resume on it. It is advisable to do this with the consent of the guy. If a young man cannot write a resume on his own, complete this stage of the work for him. You will be able to kill two birds with one stone: you will raise the guy’s self-esteem by describing all his character strengths, skills and abilities, and also create a good profile for employers.

You can also go to the website where vacancies are posted. See what suits your man from the proposed options. Show your spouse all the options, and let him criticize them one by one. A man may fundamentally disagree with what you found for him, and not he himself. But the first step will be taken. If you were able to find suitable vacancies, then so can he.

New acquaintances

Don't know how to make a man work? The psychologist's advice will be very simple: play on the thin strings of a man's soul. How to do it? Make new acquaintances and tell your guy about them. Describe in detail the man you met. Tell him that he is smart, handsome and makes good money. You can introduce your new friend to a guy. By causing jealousy, you can take your man out of his comfort zone. He will understand that successful people are interested in you, which means that a little more time will pass and the guy will lose you. A sense of ownership is developed among all representatives of the stronger sex. Therefore, you will soon be able to observe changes in your loved one. He will get himself in order, start going to interviews and find a normal job.

If you don’t want to make your lover jealous, you still need to introduce him to the social circle of successful men. Let the faithful feel their awkwardness while being around them. This will help him come to his senses faster in the future and earn the respect of nice people.

How to motivate a man to succeed

Let's look at the nuances that motivate a man to earn money and achieve success.

Every day you have to think about your daily bread, fight your own laziness, leave your comfort zone to achieve your goals. This comes easy to some men; they achieve everything themselves and do not stop there. Others have to struggle every day to prove their own uniqueness.

The basic need of a real man is leadership in the family . The leader husband always makes decisions and earns money. Perhaps a woman’s pride is accidentally hurt in one situation or another, but she doesn’t have to think about money, because her man decides all financial issues.

Love quickly disappears when a woman gets tired of believing in a better future. Sometimes ladies put all men's responsibilities on their fragile shoulders. At the same time, the woman does not miss the opportunity to tease her loved one and even humiliate her.

At the same time, you need to understand that you cannot demand from your loved one something that is unusual for him. If he is happy with life, then it is unlikely that he can impose his own vision of the situation.

Family happiness depends on many factors. It is a misconception that you can live in a hut with your loved one.

The weather in the house depends on many factors, one of them is material well-being. Do you want to see a strong, independent man next to you who knows how to make money? Help him become like this using feminine wisdom and tact.

Limit spending on your husband's needs

How to get a young man to work? A woman should not support her family, and if she is forced to do this for a long time, then she should rebel. Did the man sit on your neck and dangle his legs? Don't let yourself be treated like this. What should be done? Take control of your overall budget. If you are the only one who brings money into the family, then you are the one who should spend it. Reduce a man's pocket expenses. Want to drink beer with friends or go to the stadium? Let him go to work. Argue your position with the fact that you urgently need to get your hair and manicure done, and also buy a new dress. There is no extra money in the family; all that is available is the necessary expenses for food. Having endured hardship for a month, a man must come to his senses. No one will judge you for such behavior. You don't starve a man and pay for a roof over his head. Does the faithful want more? Let him go earn money.

Think about whether you have turned your husband into a housewife?

Modern girls are very power-hungry people. They want to command and be the leader in relationships. Weak men break down and adapt to your desires. And then it turns out that this is not what you wanted at all. No girl would appreciate the presence of a henpecked man in the house. How can you tell if a guy has become a housewife? The man does all the housework, washes, cleans, feeds the children, prepares dinner. Before you scold him for this and reproach him, think about whether this is what you wanted? Are you worried about what people will think? Is this important?

Blackmail

How to get a man to work and earn money? An effective, but very risky method is blackmail. You can tell the man that you will leave home if he does not find a job in the next week. Such a phrase should be pronounced calmly, and not in a fit of passion during the next scandal. Thoughtful decisions made in a quiet tone are always more frightening than angry statements during an argument.

Life for weak-willed men is very bad. A man’s boss forces him to work outside of work or longer than expected, but he agrees? You cannot prohibit your husband from taking extra work home. But still hint that you want to spend more time with him. Let him decide what is more important to him - career or family. Everything is good in moderation.

Types of men who take time off from work

There are five main groups in total. Be observant and easily determine which of them your spouse belongs to.

A misanthrope, that is, literally a “misanthrope” who is not able to find a common language with the team. Help him find work from home or some other job that minimizes interaction.
The narcissist is a narcissist who expects jobs to fall out of the sky to match his greatness. Here you need to take the bull by the horns and confront him with a fact: you are also unhappy with your employment and will sit at home until you find your dream job. Let him understand that money is needed every day.
A mama's boy who perceives his wife as a parent who should take care of him. This kind of person can be forced to work by putting pressure on him with your authority, threatening him with certain sanctions. Even if reluctantly, he will start earning money.
Slow. Such a man seems to be looking for a job, but is in no hurry, can’t find a suitable option, and still doesn’t have any money. He needs acceleration, which can be achieved by setting realistic deadlines and clearly, patiently explaining that if he does not meet them, the family will not be able to afford certain benefits.
A melancholic person is a very complex type, prone to a negative perception of life. He may become depressed both because of a failed interview and because of the director’s remark. Such a person should be supported and instilled with optimism, encouraging him to get a job.