Oedipus complex and Electra complex: signs, causes

What it is?

The Oedipus complex is a concept that describes a son's sexually colored attraction to his mother and jealousy towards his father.
It often happens that with it the child enters into a competitive relationship with the father for the love of the parent of the opposite sex. Sigmund Freud was the first to use this term in his works on psychoanalysis.

When choosing a name for this mental state, the scientist was apparently guided by a well-known myth in which the Oedipus complex dates back to the times of Ancient Greece. In this tale, one young man (Oedipus) was deprived of his family from infancy.

When he grew up, the roads of fate led him to the house of his real parents, but being unaware of this, he fell in love with his mother, and in order to marry her, he killed his father. The female version of this phenomenon is the Electra complex.

Based on the plot of Sophocles’ tragedy, Carl Jung began to use in psychology the concept of “Electra complex,” which was described in Greek myths as the embodiment of love for one’s own father and hatred for one’s mother. Sigmund Freud did not recognize such a concept; he used the term “female Oedipus complex”

The scientist took the beginning and height of the formation of gender identity in children aged 2-7 years as the basis for his understanding of this phenomenon. The object of sexual love in this case is the closest people - the parents of the opposite sex, and a “cocktail” of various emotions of the child falls on them.

Adherents of psychoanalysis do not consider the Oedipus complex as a pathology; on the contrary, scientists consider it to be
the norm of human psychosexual development, an important phase in the formation of a child’s gender identity. However, if a child does not successfully go through this stage of sexual development and at the age of six does not begin to show a desire to be like a parent of the same sex, he may develop phenomena such as homosexuality, lesbianism, transvestism, bisexuality, desire to incest .
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The Myth of Oedipus

Why did Freud give the complex he discovered such a name? The answer is simple: the great psychoanalyst loved ancient Greek drama and drew analogies between childhood experiences and the relationships between the heroes of Sophocles’ tragedy “Oedipus the King.”

The main character of the tragedy, the king of Thebes named Oedipus, accidentally killed his father in a road fight. After that, by the will of fate, without knowing it, he married his mother. And only many years later Oedipus learned who his wife was and who the traveler killed on the road was. As a result, Oedipus fell into despair and lost his sight.

This myth is an illustration of the child’s subconscious desire to take possession of the parent of the opposite sex, while simultaneously eliminating the rival, that is, the second parent. Do not think that only boys experience such experiences: girls during their formation also dream of taking the place of their own mother. This phenomenon is called the Electra complex in female psychology.

Causes

In order to understand the essence of the formation of the Oedipus complex, you need to turn to the theory of psychoanalysis. This is one of the leading trends in psychology that explains the development of neuroses and sexual deviations in people.

Its founder, Sigmund Freud , suggested that the development and improvement of personality takes place in the constant interaction of several internal substances “I” and “Super-Ego”, the unconscious (instinctive) and the conscious (thinking and morality). The energy and strength of the first, in its pursuit of pleasure, can be destructive and negative, therefore the second creates boundaries and “frameworks” to restrain human nature.

A person’s mental health depends on the successful resolution of this constant opposition.

In his works, the scientist pays great attention to the period of childhood, for the most part it is in this period that the unconscious dominates, and the function of controlling behavior is just being formed.

Therefore, when the first sexual attraction awakens (as a desire to have the constant attention of a mother or father) and love for parents of the opposite sex, their signs are easy to see in the child’s behavior:

1. Attracting the attention of the father or mother by any means: drawing, desire for communication, whims, physical touch, etc.

2. Anger, jealousy, resentment towards a parent of the same sex if you want to contact the chosen object of love.

If at this moment of development the child is “heard” by adults and his needs for “sexual” love are fully or partially satisfied, he “self-affirms” in his sexuality and the formation of his sexual identity continues, and the Oedipus complex is leveled.

If the child is perceived negatively, punished or rejected during this period, the conflict remains unresolved and can affect the person’s entire life. For example, a deeply “hidden” Oedipus complex can manifest itself already in adulthood in relation to one’s children and their father or in marital relations.

Manifestation in adulthood

It should be remembered that both the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex in the psychology of women are considered a normal stage of human psycho-emotional development. These complexes are the basis for the formation of normal sexuality and attraction to the opposite sex. Problems arise only if the complex, for one reason or another, has not been overcome, and the age crisis has not been overcome.

What is the portrait of an adult woman with an Electra complex in psychology? This girl seems to be stuck in adolescence: she is unable to build constructive relationships with men because of unresolved problems with her father. Such ladies do not find their place in the world, while blaming their mother for all the problems and expecting a “miraculous salvation.” They look quite confident and emancipated, they strive to compete with men and try to master a traditionally male profession. Behind this facade lies the constant expectation of a handsome prince, some ideal man who will come and solve all existing problems and give a beautiful life.

In psychology, women with the Electra complex get married relatively late, after 27-30 years, or they turn into “old maids,” explaining their situation by the fact that they were never able to meet a suitable man worthy of themselves. Marriages with a much older partner are not uncommon, who becomes a kind of “dad” for an adult girl, while the relationship between the spouses develops according to the child-parent principle.

In men and boys

At an early age, boys show love to their mother by offering their help, hugging and kissing her . They often come to their parents’ bed and take their father’s place in it, constantly seek their mother’s approval and praise, and react sharply and sometimes inappropriately to punishments coming from their mother (falling into hysterics, demonstrating negativism).

At this time, they perceive their father as a competitor, avoid his company, and have a negative attitude towards physical contact with him.

Adult men sometimes retain the features of the Oedipus complex, treating their mother with care and ignoring communication with their father. Also, the stronger sex can cultivate a loving attitude towards their daughter in the family, and be more indifferent to their wife and sons.

Such emotions and behavior are on the verge of normality and pathology, but sexual relations with the opposite sex, the desire to acquire a feminine essence are extreme manifestations of the Oedipus complex in men.

Fighting methods

Psychoanalyst Freud described getting rid of the Oedipus complex differently for women and men. Each person must fight on his own.

In boys, at an early age, the complex is repressed through fear of castration. And the Electra complex persists for a long time, moving into adulthood, which helps prepare for future motherhood.

Parents play the main role in the lives of children. Models of behavior in the family and relationships between adults leave an imprint on the child’s psyche.

If the father constantly offends the mother, then the child begins to hate the offender with renewed vigor, which slows down the process of letting go of the love situation with the mother.

Adults should help the child adapt to life, explain what is good and bad. Love should be developed for both parents; the child must understand: mom and dad are husband and wife, and when he grows up, he will have his own loved one.

1. Every day, both spouses should tell the child about their feelings for him.
2. You should show a model of family behavior, tell how relationships should be built.
3. Try not to do anything compromising in front of the child; you should not encourage his jealousy.

In women and girls

When a daughter constantly clings to her dad, strives to be in the same space with him, prepares to meet him from work, wants to please in everything - these are manifestations of the Electra complex.

In adult women, his traits can be signaled by adoration of his son and hatred of his daughter-in-law, acceptance of his own father with all his shortcomings and criticism of his mother over any trifle.

The pathological “traits of Electra” remain: lesbianism, the desire to become a man, sexual relations with the father (son).

How to cure the Electra complex in a woman’s psychology?

What should girls who have discovered this disease do? Psychologists give a number of tips and recommendations in this regard:

• you should let go of your father, accepting that he is not an ideal and you should not look for a man who would be like him, like a twin;
• there is no need to hold a grudge against your parents: you must remember that both mom and dad are ordinary people who have the right to make mistakes;
• you need to reconsider your relationship with your own mother and realize that you have quite a lot in common with her. The mother is not a competitor or someone to compete with;
• in some cases, overcoming an illness may require working with a psychologist and in-depth exploration of one’s own personality.

The main danger of the Electra complex in a woman’s psychology is that a girl who has failed to move beyond her childhood relationships risks being left alone for the rest of her life, having never learned to communicate with men as equal partners. To gain freedom, you need to go beyond the myth and abandon the idea of ​​the father as an unattainable ideal, come to terms with his real image and fall in love not with your own idea of ​​the parent, but with a living person with all his shortcomings. Only in this way will it be possible to gain freedom and independence.

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Treatment

Within the framework of psychoanalysis, the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex are a natural phenomenon in a child under 6-7 years of age. But if its signs continue to appear, then it is necessary to seek the help of specialists.

A psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist will help in the process of counseling and therapy:

• build relationships between parents and children based on acceptance and positive perception of each other;
• realize the trinity (minimum) in the family, the importance, individuality and necessity of everyone, their right to love and privacy;
• understand to the child that real relationships with the opposite sex are built outside the family;
• “promote” the formation of the child’s true gender identity, emphasizing the advantages of his gender.

There are a number of signs for self-diagnosis of the Oedipus complex:

• the desire for total control over relationships with the opposite sex in children, a negative attitude towards them in parents;
• the use of sanctions and superiority in interactions with a spouse;
• systematic approval of the behavior of a parent of one sex and “silencing” of the other;
• jealousy of children or “ancestors” of the opposite sex.

If you find something like this in yourself, it means you have done the most important thing—recognized the problem. Now, in order to live without this emotional burden, you need to start working on it under the supervision of a specialist.

How to get rid of the complex

• Since the Electra complex is associated with the idealization of her own father, to eliminate it the girl must “return to reality”: realize that her father is not ideal, that he also has his own shortcomings or that there are men who are much better than him. At least because they are younger. This will allow her to pay attention to other men, especially her peers.
• Parental care should also not be overestimated. A girl must make sure that passive behavior and lack of independence do not make a person beautiful at all.
• She must also understand that her father still loves her mother, because thanks to this love she was born. And since he loves her and created a family with her, it means that the mother has positive sides. Moreover, the mother is, after all, the “other half” of the father. And the daughter’s father, even such a good one, is in no way suitable as a husband.
• A girl needs to learn to behave like a woman: smile, flirt, flirt with men, sometimes even be capricious. After all, girls who are accustomed to closely communicating with their father are often distinguished by “masculine” behavior and character, and this accompanies her in adult life. All these truths should be conveyed to the girl by those around her, first of all by the parents themselves. After all, in the end, it is the upbringing in the family that determines how a girl will grow up. However, the help of parents may not be sufficient, and then the woman should turn to a psychotherapist.

Some psychoanalysts believe that although the Electra complex is a “reflection” of the male Oedipus complex, it is more difficult to overcome. This also follows from Freudian teaching: the boy has an incentive to get rid of the complex - this is the fear of castration; This procedure does not threaten the girl, so her complex does not cause her suffering at first. As a result, she can “remain Electra” indefinitely, the psychological problem is firmly rooted in her. As an adult, she begins to suffer, but is unable to understand the reason for this.

Author: Sergey Semenov

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Key words:1Self-knowledge

Signs and psychological portrait

Electra syndrome begins to manifest itself in girls at the age of 3-4 years.

Pathology can be suspected based on the following signs:

1. The baby prefers the company of her father . Although at a younger age, children are more attached to their mother, because she feeds and cares for them.
2. The girl constantly shows aggression towards her mother and criticizes her.
3. After a long absence of parents, the child rejoices at the appearance of his father, not his mother .
4. The girl wants her father to teach her “male” activities : fishing, hunting, sports, etc. Her mother’s lessons cause her rejection.
5. Jealousy of the father. The baby shows dissatisfaction when her parents hug and hold hands. She is also offended if her father gives gifts to her mother, and not to her.
6. The grown-up girl continues to demand her father's attention , and in response to her mother's requests and comments she shows indifference or aggression.
7. for such a girl to find a groom ; they all cannot stand comparison with their father. She either continues to live with her parents, or finds a man much older than her so that she can feel like a little girl with him.

Boys with the Oedipus complex also cannot create full-fledged families .

These are the so-called “mama's boys”, dependent on their mother.

Often such men are even angry with their mother for their failed life, but cannot admit the existence of a problem .

How to become more confident? Find out about this from our article.

The phenomenon of manifestation in an adult woman

If a girl was unable to overcome this complex in childhood, then the problem will bother her throughout her life .

These girls are looking for men who are like their father .

He must be strong, caring, able to protect her from all problems.

More often, women choose adult men close in age to their father. In achieving their goal, such women do not disdain anything .

They are pursuing the man, trying to take him away from his family, using threats and blackmail. However, having achieved their goal, they do not experience happiness.

Women with the Electra complex are usually independent and emancipated. They choose male professions and build a career. She has no friends, but she has many male friends.

Development of the Electra complex in girls

Although many psychologists do not see a difference in the genesis of the complex in children of different sexes, the nature of the onset and development of the deviation in girls has its own differences, characteristic only for the female sex. Initially, the girl is equally attached to both parents, as a rule, until the age of 4-6, when the child discovers the absence of a male genital organ. This peculiar shock is a decisive moment in the development of the complex. The girl begins to envy those who have a penis, feeling an acute lack of it.

This phenomenon simultaneously serves as the beginning of female sexuality, which manifests itself differently in children of this age. Interest in the structure of the genital organs of a brother, father, male animals, active discussion of feelings and desires with peers is an alarming signal for parents and specialists, the emergence of the Electra complex has begun. Over the years, a girl's feminine essence can become increasingly suppressed, and her desire to possess a penis remains constantly unsatisfied, guaranteeing her a sense of her own imperfection.

Along with this, the girl’s father, as the carrier of the male genital organ idealized by her, becomes the meaning of life for her, dooming her to constant emotional experiences, which very often can result in sexual desire. The child experiences an exaggerated, tender attachment to his parent and begins to see in the mother a real rival, as anatomically “flawed” as she is, which often leads to the emergence of hatred, up to the physical elimination of the parent. The girl makes accusations against her mother that she gave birth to her without a genital organ, with some kind of defect. Feelings of inferiority can ultimately lead to the development of a castration complex.

The inability to realize one's mental experiences in reality and constant psychosis on the part of the mother can lead to the child's suicide. The castration complex creates a fear in boys of losing their genitals as a result of punishment for thoughts or physical manifestations of internal experiences regarding sexual desires. The complex is also typical for girls and is often included in the Electra complex syndrome.

With age, the castration complex in boys degenerates and extremely rarely turns into the Oedipus form. Girls, on the other hand, are a more favorable environment for the development of the Electra complex, primarily because physiologically, as they grow older, the girl is in its power longer, which directly affects the formation of a woman’s character. The overwhelming majority of girls, as they mature, do not manage to overcome the complex completely, which can often lead to various psychological and psychopathic disorders.