10 psychological tricks for manipulating people

Psychological tricks

10. Ask for favors

Trick: Ask someone to do a favor for you (known as the Benjamin Franklin effect).

Legend has it that Benjamin Franklin once wanted to win the favor of a man who didn't like him. He asked the man to lend him a rare book, and when he received it, he thanked him very kindly.

As a result, the man who didn't really want to even talk to Franklin became friends with him. In the words of Franklin: “He who has once done you a good deed will be more disposed to do something good for you again than one to whom you yourself are indebted.”

Scientists decided to test this theory, and eventually found that those people whom the researcher asked for a personal favor were much more favorable towards the specialist compared to other groups of people.

Mental impact - types and features

Mental influence is classified according to certain criteria.

Nature of impact.

Simple - a specific plan of action is implemented during one session, for example, a conversation or interrogation.
Complex - such an impact consists of several simple actions; it is a means to achieve a specific goal.

Focus.

Individual - used to work with one person.
Social - used to work with a group of people.

Technical equipment.

Subjective action using words and psychological techniques.
Instrumental action with the help of certain objects, for example, physical evidence.

In addition, the psychological impact differs in form:

open - the appeal is aimed directly at a person’s consciousness;
closed or unobvious - in this case, techniques are used that influence the sphere of the subconscious;
combined - involves the use of open and closed exposure methods.

Also, it is necessary to distinguish between legitimate (allowed by law) and unlawful (prohibited by law - violence, blackmail) mental influence. It is this problem that is recognized by experts as key in relation to psychological influence.

Good to know! Despite the fact that the Criminal Code does not contain a definition of “psychological influence,” the current legislation determines the degree of influence allowed during operational search and investigative activities.

Influence on human behavior

9. Aim Higher

© Michal Collection
The trick: always ask for more than you initially need, and then lower the bar.
This technique is sometimes called the “door-in-the-face approach.” You are approaching a person with a really too high request, which he will most likely refuse.

After that you come back with a request for a “lower rank”

namely, what you really need from this person.

This trick may seem counterintuitive to you, but the idea is that the person will feel bad after rejecting you. However, he will explain this to himself as the unreasonableness of the request.

Therefore, the next time you approach him with your real need, he will feel obligated to help you.

Scientists, after testing this principle in practice, came to the conclusion that it actually works, because a person who is first approached with a very “big” request, and then returns to him and asks for a small one, feels that he can help you he should.

The influence of a name on a person

8. Say names

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Trick: Use the person's name or title depending on the situation.
Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believes that mentioning a person's name frequently in conversation is incredibly important.

He emphasizes that a person’s name in any language is the sweetest combination of sounds for him.

Carnegie says that a name is the main component of human identity, therefore, when we hear it, we once again receive confirmation of our importance.

This is why we feel more positive towards a person who confirms our importance in the world.

However, using a title or other form of address in a speech can also have a strong impact. The idea is that if you behave like a certain type of person, then you will become that person. This is somewhat like a prophecy.

To use this technique to influence other people, you can address them as you would like them to be. As a result, they will begin to think of themselves in this way.

It’s very simple, if you want to get closer to a certain person, then call him “friend” or “comrade” more often. Or, when referring to someone you would like to work for, you can call him “boss.” But keep in mind that sometimes this can backfire on you.

Mental impact on a person - what is it?

Psychological influence on a person’s consciousness is a complex process; it is a multifaceted term that refers to any manipulation of the human subconscious that common sense cannot control. The ability to influence a person’s emotions allows you to control his behavior and correct his actions.

During the birth of civilization, methods of psychological influence on people were used by shamans, as well as tribal leaders; of course, at that time primitive methods were used - voice, body language, rituals. As science and technological progress developed, completely different methods of influence began to be used to physically or mentally influence one person on another.

The purpose of psychological influence on a person in the process of communication, as a rule, is only one - the use of one person or group of people to satisfy personal needs or requirements or to gain authority. Through psychological influence, internal mental structures are formed through the external influence of another person, and certain standards of society are created. A person who is able to influence the psyche gains a sense of significance.

Important! In most cases, psychological influence is manipulation used exclusively for selfish purposes. If a person sees someone psychologically weaker than himself, he subconsciously tries to subjugate him.

It is noteworthy that in psychology it is not customary to classify the motives of psychological influence as good or bad. The science of psychology deals with the study of methods, as well as methods of influence. Remember that it is very difficult to recognize a specialist who has perfectly mastered the methods of targeted intervention in the human psyche. By the way, it is easier to influence a group of people than one.

The influence of words on a person

7. Flatter

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The trick: flattery can get you where you need to go.
This may seem obvious at first glance, but there are some important caveats. To begin with, it is worth noting that if flattery is not sincere, then it will most likely do more harm than good.

However, scientists who have studied flattery and people's reactions to it have discovered several very important things.

Simply put, people always try to maintain cognitive balance by trying to organize their thoughts and feelings in a similar way.

Therefore, if you flatter a person whose self-esteem is high, and the flattery is sincere,

He will like you more because the flattery will match what he thinks about himself.

However, if you flatter someone whose self-esteem is suffering, there may be negative consequences. It is likely that he will treat you worse because it does not intersect with how he perceives himself.

Of course, this does not mean that a person with low self-esteem should be humiliated.

Hidden influence techniques

Story-metaphor

Very strong technique. People are brought up on stories and fairy tales from childhood, so your stories penetrate the brain just fine.

What's the best way to use this? Tell a story in which someone acts as you would like them to act. Moreover, such behavior leads to something good for the hero of the story.

So that this story does not look stupid and you are not exposed, you need some kind of disguise. You are not talking about yourself, but about someone else.

You create a story (preferably a real one), which contains the target behavior that you want to impose on your interlocutor, and you build this story in a chain: so that ideally it is a story about the fourth person from the third person to the second person. This chain enhances the “amnesia” and better transfers your command (hidden suggestion) to the unconscious level. People don't like being pressured, so we create a kind of information environment.

We probably cannot predict the result, but we can be sure that after using a metaphor story, a person starts some kind of internal search. You give a person a story, then he processes it and thinks about it. And ultimately this will affect his behavior.

Compliments and support

Any sincere compliment is better made about a person’s merit, and not about an innate quality: “What a cool hairstyle you chose!”, “You chose a beautiful suit.”

How to use this as a hidden influence? You need to compliment the behavior that you want to reproduce and recreate in the person. Those. you compliment a target behavior or a behavior that doesn't exist yet.

Hidden influence technique: You yourself

The essence of the technique: you present the desired behavior as something that the interlocutor came up with himself. Why does this work well?

People love themselves and love to build their self-esteem. Therefore, when a person understands “what a great guy I am, what a good idea I came up with!”, then it is much easier for him to agree with this idea if he came up with it himself.

Verbal options for using the technique:

"You said that..."
“I learned from you that...”
“I remember you suggested...”
Admiration and admiration for the actions of the interlocutor: “I like it when you...”
“I liked your idea...”
“I thought about what you told me last time...”

As a result, the person sees that you liked his opinion and you further decided to act on the basis of this opinion. And now all you have to do is remind your interlocutor what kind of “his opinion” you liked.

Aikido

The technique is similar to the previous two.

The bottom line: we agree with any idea that the interlocutor gives us. And when we have already agreed, we use this moment as a starting point for our subsequent logic (where we need to go). You base the logic of agreement not on your own position, but on the position of your interlocutor.

Your task: learn to agree with people. You need to develop the skill of agreeing with the phrases of your interlocutor that you need.

Verbal manipulations:

“I like your idea, and then, you know how best to do it...”
“I liked your idea, I propose this...”

If something is forced on you that you cannot agree to, you agree anyway, but then you come up with conditions under which this proposal should go well. But these conditions are far from the current situation. And you formulate it. It turns out that you kind of liked the idea, but it becomes clear to the interlocutor that the idea does not fit into the current moment.

Let's summarize the technique:

Agree with other people. Not thoughtlessly, but find in their words something with which you can agree.
Next, you begin to build the logic for your position step by step. You begin to slowly lead your interlocutor from agreeing with his idea to your position. Those. you find for him what he can agree with in your position.

Emotional Impact and Emotional Background

If emotions are difficult for you, then these techniques will require significant effort from you, and you will be terribly exhausted (if you repeat the technique often).

Technique Emotional blow is a sharp release of a large amount of emotions that strongly contrast with your calm state before. Those. you dump out all your experiences, emotions, feelings. No logic, no accusations or suggestions. You are simply dumping KAMAZ pain on your interlocutor.

At the same time, carefully monitor the reaction of your interlocutor. Often, if this happens unexpectedly for a person, his logical thinking and manipulations that he previously did are temporarily turned off. And your task is to quickly find your bearings and take the next step (for example, apply some action or technique) to take the situation to where you need it to go

Ideally, react with a different emotion than was expected from you; It’s good to know your interlocutor’s reaction. But this technique may not always go smoothly for you - in this case, the situation will not improve.

Conclusion: That is An emotional blow does not solve the problem on its own. We create an opportunity for you to solve the problem. He knocks your interlocutor out of the rut in which he was traveling. At this moment, you gain control of the situation and can pull your interlocutor where you need him to go.

The Emotional background technique is when you create an emotional background with your nonverbals, but you don’t show anything verbally. Those. you do not pronounce the emotion, but simply show it physically (for example, show anger with sudden movements, no eye contact). Example: show resentment or sadness with a retracted head, nervous tension, drooping shoulders, a meaningless look into the distance.

Those. you show emotion, create such “quiet emotional theater”.

This technique is quite “dirty” because it exploits your partner’s guilt. If you use it often, it will have negative consequences on your psyche and on your relationships. This technique causes pain to your partner because... you deliberately cut off contact with him and thereby force him to act.

If you don't calculate the pressure in this technique, you can make things worse. Your partner will respond to you with his own emotions or outplay you when you find yourself in a guilty position.

The technique is very complex and does not always work. It is more common in couples where one partner is emotionally virtuoso, and the other is an emotional “tree” (man - woman).

Information environment

This is a complex technique that integrates the others. It is usually used when we want to push into the interlocutor’s unconscious some non-obvious idea, a proposal with which it is difficult for him to agree. And we don’t yet know how he will react to this.

Read more: What to do if a child does not listen: advice from a psychologist

You begin to throw small pieces at your interlocutor, which form in him a certain information environment, a certain information environment. How to do these stuffings? Story techniques - metaphor, canard, small pieces of information. Those. you gradually surround the person with the information that will form his ability to make the decision you need.

A classic example of the technique from Star Wars 3, when Anakin Skywalker turns to the dark side of the force. He meets Chancellor Palpatine and worries about Padmé. The Chancellor gradually feeds information into the young Jedi's mind. And at the end he sums it up: come to the dark side and save Padmé, I have the power to raise the dead. The formula problem -> solution -> benefit worked: you have a problem with your wife’s health, I have power, go over to the dark side, and we will save her.

You prepare a non-obvious proposal, but do not roll it out right away, but throw in pieces of information ahead of time. Ideally, the interlocutor will come to your proposal himself.

Ways to influence people

6. Mirror other people's behavior

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The trick: Be a mirror image of the other person's behavior.
Mirroring behavior is also known as mimicry, and it is something that certain types of people have in their nature.

People with this skill are called chameleons because they try to blend in with their environment by copying others' behavior, mannerisms, and even speech. However, this skill can be used quite deliberately and is a great way to get liked.

Researchers studied mimicry and found that those who were copied had very favorable attitudes towards the person who copied them.

Experts also came to another, more interesting conclusion. They found that people who had role models had much more favorable attitudes toward people in general, even those who weren't involved in the study.

It is likely that the reason for this reaction lies in the following. Having someone who mirrors your behavior validates your worth. People feel more confident in themselves, thus they are happier and have good attitude towards other people.

Psychological impact in various areas of life

Psychological impact and the law

Mental influence is often used in law enforcement. Today, various unconventional methods of obtaining evidence are used - polygraph, hypnosis, software development.

Legitimate psychic influence is used for different purposes:

information disclosure;
belief in the meaninglessness of false testimony;
futility of denial.

Thus, various types and methods of mental influence in the activities of law enforcement agencies are used, first of all, to promptly stop persons who are trying to misinform the investigation, or refer them to a false investigation.

It should be noted that article 164 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation regulates the psychological effect on a person. It is strictly forbidden to obtain testimony by force.

Important! Any method of psychological influence is recognized as legal if it does not involve extorting testimony by force.

In psychology

Psychological influence on people is often used to change states and behavior. Often, the work of a psychologist is aimed at helping a person adapt to society, quickly respond to changing circumstances, and adapt to various negative situations.

The purpose of psychological influence on a person’s consciousness through suggestion is to eliminate violations in personal development. As a result, a person’s inner world and views change.

Situations when psychocorrection is necessary:

excitability, anger;
conflict;
depression, pessimism;
excessive activity, impulsiveness;
shyness, reticence.

Any deviations from the norm in human behavior can be corrected, changed or eliminated.

Psychocorrection can be individual or group. In the first case, the specialist works personally with a person, and in the second, with a group of people with the same problems.

In the information field

It is impossible not to note the psychological impact of the information environment on modern man.

Since in the modern world a person is surrounded by advertising on almost all sides, the psychological impact of advertising has transformed into a separate branch of psychology. Science studies ways to improve the effectiveness of advertising materials. The main goal of the psychological impact of advertising on the consumer is to force the consumer to make a purchase. To do this, the following types of mental influence are used: information, persuasion, suggestion, motivation.

Psychology of influencing people

5. Take advantage of fatigue

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Trick: ask for a favor when you see that the person is tired.
When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to any information, be it a simple statement about something or a request. The reason is that when a person gets tired, it is not only on the physical level, his mental energy reserves are also depleted.

When you make a request to a tired person, most likely you will not get a definite answer right away, but will hear: “I will do it tomorrow,” because he will not want to make any decisions at the moment.

The next day, most likely, the person will actually comply with your request, because on a subconscious level, most people try to keep their word, so we make sure that what we say matches what we do.

Manipulation errors

How to manipulate people - can this be learned, methods of influence

It is not always possible to use methods of influencing people correctly. Some common mistakes reveal people's motives, and methods of influence become ineffective:

The first mistake is that the interlocutor notices that he is being manipulated. This is possible if the interlocutor himself has a similar communication skill, or if the manipulator has overdone it. In some areas, communication involves manipulation, for example, in a work environment between a boss and a subordinate, in a family environment between parents and children.
The manipulator did not take into account the influence of additional factors. Any psychological influence can work or not under the influence of various factors: the interlocutor knows the technique of protection from psychological influence, the interlocutor is distracted by his thoughts, or any other reasons. A technique may sometimes not work, but this does not mean that it is ineffective in general.
The manipulator hopes to influence a person’s subconscious and forgets about his logical thinking. If a technique can work on a subconscious level, then a sufficiently developed logic can seize on a detail and cause doubt, which is why the psychological impact may not be successful.

Methods of influence are divided into methods: emotional and physical. Each is more effective among different groups of people and for achieving different goals. The manipulator's goals themselves may be intentional or not; in practice, in most cases, the manipulator pursues selfish motives. You can learn the technique of influence at a psychologist’s appointment or on your own, using a practice course based on manuals or audio books.

Psychological influence on a person

4. Offer something that a person cannot refuse

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The trick: start the conversation with something that the other person can’t refuse, and you will achieve what you need.
This is the flip side of the door-in-the-face approach. Instead of starting the conversation with a request, you start with something small. As soon as a person agrees to help you in small ways, or simply agrees to something, you can use the “heavy artillery.”

Experts have tested this theory using marketing approaches. They started by asking people to show their support for protecting the rainforests and the environment, which is a very simple request.

Once support has been received, scientists have found that it is now much easier to persuade people to buy products that promote this support. However, you should not start with one request and immediately move on to another.

Psychologists have found that it is much more effective to take a break of 1-2 days.

Techniques for influencing people

3. Stay calm

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The trick: Don't correct someone when they're wrong.
In his famous book, Carnegie also emphasized that one should not tell people that they are wrong. This, as a rule, will lead to nothing, and you will simply fall out of favor with this person.

There is actually a way to show disagreement while still having a polite conversation, without telling anyone that they are wrong, but by striking the other person's ego to the core.

The method was invented by Ray Ransberger and Marshall Fritz. The idea is quite simple: instead of arguing, listen to what the person is saying and then try to understand how they feel and why.

You should then explain to the person the points you share with them and use that as a starting point to clarify your position. This will make him more sympathetic to you and he will be more likely to listen to what you have to say without losing face.

Attention capture technique

The main task is to capture the attention of the interlocutor. You capture the attention of another person through the channels of perception. A person can visually perceive information by ear and body (sensations). And the more channels you use, the stronger the capture will be. Those. if you look your interlocutor in the eyes, speak loudly and shake his shoulders at the same time, then the grip will be very strong.

Basic gripping techniques:

Eye contact. Before you talk to a person, make sure they can see you.
Voice greeting.
Ask some question. Can be applied to both an acquaintance and a stranger.
Unobtrusive kinesthetics - touch. You can touch unfamiliar people in neutral zones: the outer part of the shoulder or forearm, the outer side of the arm.
Join your interlocutor's action. Thus, you automatically fall into the person's area of attention.

Read more: Lucky people do what others don't

The influence of people on each other

2. Repeat the words of your interlocutor

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The trick: paraphrase what the person says and repeat what they said.
This is one of the most amazing ways to influence other people. This way you show your interlocutor that you really understand him, capture his feelings and your empathy is sincere.

That is, by paraphrasing the words of your interlocutor, you will achieve his favor very easily. This phenomenon is known as reflective listening.

Research has shown that when doctors use this technique, people open up more to them and their “collaboration” is more fruitful.

It's easy to use when chatting with friends too. If you listen to what they say and then paraphrase what they said, forming a question for confirmation, they will feel very comfortable with you.

You will have a stronger friendship and they will listen more actively to what you have to say because you have managed to show that you care about them.

Learn to communicate effectively

The ability to convey the meaning of your message is an art that every sane person should learn. And if you want to influence people, then this is simply a duty. Your stories and posts must meet four criteria. They should be:

interesting;
entertaining;
informative;
modest.

Your personality should be the same, since stories and personality are one and the same in a harmonious person. Here are some key tips that will allow you to keep people interested and focused on your message from start to finish:

Use humor. Using humor effectively breaks tension, relaxes others, and sends the message that you are a light-hearted, funny person. This will allow people to open up to your influence.
Speak with optimism in your voice. Whether we realize it or not, we are naturally attracted to people who exude optimistic energy: they are simply pleasant to be around. It is for this reason that we must focus our verbal language on the positive.
Be kind. Most people appreciate those who are polite and well-mannered. Ordinary courtesy is like aged wine: it affects the interlocutor after some time. You'll be surprised, but simple words like "thank you," "please," and "I appreciate it" work wonders.
Make people feel confident. People simply adore those who make them feel confident and strong. Keep this in mind: choose your words carefully when communicating with a person.
Look for common interests and goals. Without this, the dialogue will be built on the principles of manipulation. That is, you will pursue your own goals and interests, completely not giving a damn about others.
When talking, a person constantly scans the interlocutor to see how useful and interesting he will be. When we find these attractive points, we automatically become emotionally attached to him. Your goal is to show the person that you have common goals and interests. You may not be able to understand this at first, but as the dialogue progresses it will become obvious. Read information not only from words, but also from what was not said.
Discuss your interlocutor's problems. There is one true piece of advice that works in the vast majority of cases: discuss the problems your interlocutor faces. This is at least an excellent topic for conversation, because all people without exception have problems. Problems are triggers and stimulants of deep and intense emotions. These emotions need to be released somehow. And the best way to do this is to talk to someone who sympathizes with your situation.
Ask neutral questions. You probably already know that you need to ask open-ended questions. They encourage the person to continue the story, to share his feelings, thoughts and emotions with you. But they can also seem biased and too personal. There is great benefit in neutral issues as well. Compare the following two and say which is biased and which is neutral: “Do you believe that marriage will lead to a better life?” and “How do you imagine life after marriage?” The difference seems small, but in fact it is big. In the first case, you ask a question that assumes an answer. The second question is neutral because it makes no assumptions and allows the person to respond in accordance with his true motives and intentions. Questions determine whether you can influence a person. So try to be unobtrusive and frame them in a way that doesn't come across as biased.

Try to adhere to the recommendations described in this article, and the level of your influence on people will noticeably increase. We also recommend taking our “Best Communication Techniques” course, with which in just 2 months you will learn how to better interact with people. You will learn and be able to apply 72 effective communication techniques in your life, which we have collected from dozens of books and trainings.

We wish you good luck and look forward to joining our course!

We also recommend reading:

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Cohen-Bradford model of influence
Manipulative Tactics of Toxic People
10 types of psychological influence
Six ways to learn from your mistakes
Mental Habits That Make Us Smarter
How to get rid of guilt
The ability to stand out from the crowd using the PVI method
10 mistakes of a leader according to Zenger and Folkman
How to fix your mistake
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