How to manage yourself, people and life? 15 psychological techniques

Goals

Often, to achieve a goal, you need the help of other people, but it is not always possible to ask for it directly.
Practical psychologists became interested in the impact on the psyche of another individual. They managed to create techniques that, when applied, any individual will be able to control his interlocutor, a group of people, and even an entire country. Manipulation skills are necessary in all areas of life. They help parents unobtrusively educate and instill in their children norms of behavior. Businessmen need to establish business contacts with partners. A leader who skillfully manages his subordinates reduces the level of conflict in the team and creates a favorable environment. The seller, knowing the peculiarities of the buyer’s psyche, quietly pushes them to buy.

People manipulate each other all the time. But many do this unconsciously, which is why achieving results takes years. If an individual has management skills and uses them wisely, he will manage to manage his life. Such people quickly move up the career ladder and achieve personal goals.

Classification

There are many methods of influencing the psyche. They differ in complexity and duration of influence. The only quality that unites all methods is secrecy: a person should not understand that he is being manipulated. Methods of influence:

1. Suggestion. The manipulator “puts” the necessary thoughts into a person’s head, leading him to certain conclusions. Suggestion occurs through communication, “random” throwing of facts, unobtrusive discussion of a problematic topic.
2. Manipulation. A complex process of influence that requires a combination of several methods of influence. The leader becomes for his subordinates what they want him to be. It combines emotional pressure, offering benefits, and plays on the fear of missed opportunities. The choice of manipulation technique is individual. Influence affects both the crowd and the individual.
3. NLP. This technique allows you to program the object of influence. It is the most difficult, requiring deep knowledge of psychology. Manipulation techniques using NLP cannot be overcome. They are similar to hypnosis: the individual is not aware of the control of an outsider, he believes that he himself made the decision.

All methods are effective, but the degree of influence also depends on the abilities of the manipulator, the psyche of the person they are trying to control.

Is it possible to effectively lead people without being hated?

You first criticize books about management, and then switch to their own language - except with cool pictures. Somehow it is assumed that there will be _Your_ examples of employee A and employee B, who fought in a gladiatorial fight when the conflict reached the boiling point, and only on tickets to this illegal performance you earned your first million. Seriously speaking, “management” does not exist, as a science, which is why there is so much literature on it that builds some kind of schemes and approaches (and yes, that’s why there is a lot of water that is not relevant). It all comes down to “non-material motivation” - i.e. like in the USSR the challenge pennant “best licker-sucker of the month” for which for some reason there is no intense struggle (nobody cares) and the coaching work “I believe in you, we will succeed, we are a team!”

Most of the manager’s work is cramming in the impossible, and reaching 1/3 ... 1/2 of the set goal - taking into account limitations in time, people, and very often the absolute unreality (unattainability) of the tasks set. It’s extremely rare to have a department where everyone is such an advanced specialist, and you just need to sharpen their pencils and admire their successes. Just the opposite. The number of people who are NOT interested in achieving something “for the office” only grows over time, because healthy egoism is brought up in children, and there are not many Stakhanovites.

The only working option for “management” is when the manager of a working group of 4-11 people (that’s how you wrote), single-handedly distributes the salary fund (or at least bonuses), and is personally responsible for all the mistakes, missed deadlines, "top management". Then, he becomes a “father-commander”, on whose level little depends - everything is decided by _personnel_ - even a simple Siberian felt boot with such inductions, in the fight for bonuses for a group of 2-3 initiative employees, he will teach, instruct, show, convince - and the working group will get rid of ballast, hire a couple of new people, and all this with _direct_ access to the project budget, in connection with the schedule (no matter what, sales or coding).

But top managers are very afraid to propose such a work scheme, because it turns such a unit into a small private army - effectively carrying out tasks and doing what they want (hack work, etc.), the rest of the time, what about them? pin and load, if they become independent from HR, security services, and by skipping mandatory team building trainings, they show productivity 3 times more than the rest...

Features of subordination

To understand how and what control methods to choose, you need to know the peculiarities of how the psyche works. The manipulator must:

1. Radiate positive energy. A friendly person causes a response - those around him are unconsciously drawn to him. The opinion of a positive person is perceived favorably, even if he expresses controversial things.
2. Don't show excitement. Even in a situation of heated dispute, one must remain calm. This will confuse the opponent and show the manipulator as a strong person. If a dispute has witnesses, they will remember who was in a more advantageous position.
3. Manage your time, be able to plan things. You cannot learn to influence other people if you cannot manage your own priorities. You need to get rid of meaningless activities.
4. Always make eye contact. When an individual hides his eyes, he is treated with suspicion. A leader always looks in the face and does not look away. If you feel uncomfortable looking into your eyes, you can look at the point between your eyebrows.
5. Don't be afraid to enter into conflict. Fear of conflict is a serious obstacle to learning management techniques. Conflict is a clash of interests. You need to learn to defend your opinion. Of course, this will displease your opponents, but you cannot adapt to them, otherwise you will not be able to influence the situation.
6. Develop strengths. You need to use and develop your advantages. If an individual tries to develop weaknesses, he wastes time on this that he could spend on strengthening strong skills. You need to upgrade the skills you already have - this will allow you to quickly increase your level of efficiency.
7. Make a positive first impression. Correcting a bad first impression is difficult and it is better to avoid it. In order for the object of manipulation to form positive associations, you need to prepare for the first meeting. Find out what he likes, choose a cafe with a suitable atmosphere. Give a small gift. It does not oblige you to anything, but will be a good sign of attention.

When confident behavior becomes habitual, you can move on to honing manipulation techniques.

Richard Templar: Rules for Managing People

Illustration: Pixhere

Rule 80: You can only change one person

Some difficult people are not your problem at all.
You rarely meet them, and maybe it’s not always difficult with them. It's almost always difficult with others, and it happens that one of them is your boss, your father, or even your own child. And it’s not so easy to avoid communicating with them. The rules in this section apply to different types of difficult people. It's always helpful to just understand a person. There are also a number of specific strategies you can use to make communicating with them easier. However, the most important thing you must understand is that you cannot change another person, as we said in Rule 12. In certain situations, they will still be difficult. But, if everything goes well, you will gradually teach him to behave differently around you. For example, a person prone to emotional blackmail may eventually realize that his tactics do not work on you. But you will not forbid him to be who he is and behave this way towards others. This is their business.

And by the way, everything said above also applies to your children. Nature is as important here as nurture, and everyone has their own story that you cannot change. You can show them that a behavior isn't working, but ultimately only they can change it.

So, if you think about it, there is only one person you can change, and that person is you. If someone's behavior makes you feel disgusted, stressed, irritated, disappointed, offended, it is up to you to do something about it. Your reaction is your concern.

Don't tell me I'm cruel, because I'm not. I'm just stating the facts. Even if you don't like this approach, even if the other person is not going to help you, only you can do something to feel differently. Of course, this is not easy, otherwise you would have done it a long time ago. But the first step to dealing with difficult people is to understand that if you don't like how you feel, you need to change it.

And, answering your next question, I’ll say right away: no, I don’t know how. These are your feelings and I can't change them. My advice is to start with the most suitable option for you from the options below, and then see how it goes. Trust me, whatever works for you (and doesn't hurt anyone else) is good. To get started, here are a few recommendations that have already helped someone:

• Stop listening (this is not always possible, but sometimes it helps - especially if you pretend that you are still listening).
• Imagine how unpleasant words fly over your head.
• Think about how much worse this person is: I mean, would you want to be angry all the time, or arguing with everything, or losing your temper?
• Practice constructive responses. If you can achieve effective communication, you will feel much better.

Rule 83. Those who shout want to be heard

Think about it. I don't know what type you are: someone who almost never loses their temper, or someone who likes to let off steam several times a week. But anyway, what makes you raise your voice at someone? Or to put it another way: why does your instinct tell you that speaking in a calm tone will not get you what you want?

I bet you usually just feel like the other person won't hear you unless you scream. What I mean is he won't accept what you have to say unless you make him hear it. I won’t judge here how right you are (in particular, because I myself sometimes scream, although I later repent - not always, but often).

Now let's put things into perspective and think about times when people yell at you. It's not very pleasant, and when this happens to me, I usually want to stop it as soon as possible. And then I need to listen and show the other person that I am listening. This is exactly what the one who is screaming wants, so you need to give it to him.

Imagine that you want to return some substandard product that you purchased there to the store. The seller does not acknowledge that there is a problem and does not want to take responsibility for exchanging or returning the item. He utters some routine phrases that are not relevant to the matter, and clearly does not listen to you. Do you want to scream? Certainly.

Now run through the same scenario in your head again, but this time imagine the salesperson listening to you carefully and asking pertinent questions. And now you want to scream at him? Of course not. You don't need to - he listens to you, and you can get what you want without resorting to yelling.

Screaming people are desperate people who feel like they are not being heard. The default assumption is that if someone raises their voice at you, it means they think you're not listening. If so, you should listen to him carefully. If not, and you actually listened, then try to show him that. Well, you understand - don’t interrupt him, repeat the main points he’s talking about, nod, show that you understand not only his words, but also his feelings.

By the way, it follows that some people are yelled at more often than others. Those who know how to listen - and show that they are listening - are shouted at much less often than those who interrupt, jump to hasty conclusions, stick to their line, ignore other people's opinions, and do not pay attention to the feelings of the interlocutor. And in general this is fair.

Rule 84. Negative attitude can be useful

People with negative attitudes used to irritate me terribly. I myself am not at all like that - I would rather behave thoughtlessly, like a fool, rushing headlong into some undertaking, than start looking for reasons not to do something. Such people have always seemed to me to be depressive, destructive and pessimists that interfere with everything. I didn't understand why they were needed.

At the time, I worked for an organization that was constantly introducing new products to the market. We needed a constant flow of ideas. The ones that worked could make the company good money, but the ones that didn't meet our customers' needs meant we were losing money, time, and resources that we could have spent on better projects.

Our creative team had a director who always tried to find flaws in any idea. Outside of work, he was sweet and surprisingly positive. But at business meetings, every phrase he said began with the words “This won’t work because...”. The way he tried to kill almost every idea drove me crazy. Until I started noticing something.

Every time we continued to act without heeding his warnings, we ended up with a product that didn't sell very well. At the same time, when we took his criticism into account and refined the original idea, we usually ended up with a very successful product. In fact, even though this person's comments sounded negative, he was very helpful to us. Everyone else except him had a tendency to embrace ideas with exaggerated enthusiasm, but he thought them through carefully. Thanks to this, we tested and polished them more carefully before bringing our ideas to life.

Having a negative outlook still irritates me at times, but I understand that it is a necessary part of any project - from developing a product to buying a house, packing for a holiday, starting a new business, planning a garden or changing jobs. You always need someone to spot potential problems early on, and to be truly helpful, that person's comments need to sound truly negative.

However, for such comments to really help, they must also be specific. People who simply say “This won't work” or “You're wasting your time” without giving any reason are not helpful. Even if in the end they turn out to be right. Especially if they turn out to be right. Because I bet when this happens, they will be the first to say, “I told you so!” - although in fact they didn’t say anything meaningful. They didn't tell you how or why you would fail. They didn't tell you what precautions to take or what part of the project wasn't well thought out.

When someone speaks negatively about something you do, always try to get to the bottom of it. “Why won't this work? Where exactly might problems arise? What would you change? Unless you get a more detailed answer, I give you permission to ignore such people and consider them annoying. But if they tell you exactly why they don't like your ideas, I highly recommend listening. Even if they turn out to be wrong, a skeptical view of your project or idea is always useful and will help you bring it to a successful conclusion.

Rule 87. Self-doubt can be a cause of mistrust

One of my friends has very low self-esteem. This affects all of her relationships because she always doubts that she is good enough for her partner. Why is he still with her? What did he see in her? He will probably soon realize that it is not worth wasting his time on her, and will leave her for someone else. What if he's already cheating on her?.. Did he really work late last week? You can see how her insecurities and fear of losing her partner lead to jealousy and possessive behavior.

This in itself is sad, but what happens next, in my opinion, is even sadder: she begins to be so jealous that her partner cannot stand it and leaves. Her fears become reality, and this reinforces her belief that she is not good enough and any man will eventually leave her.

It's easy to sympathize with her. But try to look at the situation from her partner's point of view. At first he is devoted and faithful to her, but she shows herself to be possessive, does not trust him and constantly accuses him of flirting or infidelity. That is why he ultimately decides that it is better to end such a relationship.

There is nothing good about living with a jealous partner. Jealous friends, siblings, other relatives, and co-workers aren't really fun either. There is a difference between jealousy and envy. You may be jealous of what others have, but jealousy is much more painful - it is the terrible fear of losing someone (or something) and seeing how someone else has it. As a rule, it is directly related to self-doubt and low self-esteem.

So someone may be jealous of your relationship that seems perfect to them, or your beautiful home, or your career success because they are afraid that they will never have it. Perhaps because he believes that he doesn’t deserve anything good.

But it happens that a friendship collapses due to the jealousy of one of the friends, who is afraid that the second will find a “better” friend and leave him. This can be a big problem for a group of friends, especially if it consists of three people and one is convinced that the other two have a closer relationship. Some use subtle manipulation to prevent this, although the threat is usually completely far-fetched.

You can help a jealous person by not trying to argue with them and by avoiding behavior that makes them angry. But this only works up to a certain limit. A partner whose jealousy is based on past experiences may calm down if you don't flirt with strangers or disappear all night without warning. However, if he starts putting pressure on you, trying to control your behavior, you must set boundaries. These are his problems, and although you may try not to provoke him, he must find the answer, not you. He must eventually learn to trust you, otherwise the relationship is doomed.

Your jealous friend needs to gain confidence and also understand that his attempts to manipulate you are actually pushing you away and leading to exactly what he fears. Your envious brother or coworker doesn't need to hear about your new job (car, house, clothes), so don't rub their nose in it. However, eventually, if they have normal self-esteem, they will stop chasing external manifestations of success.

Translation: Maria Kulneva

Methods and methods of influence depending on the abilities of the manipulator

The choice of the appropriate method of influence depends on the goal, the character traits of the people who are to be convinced, and the moral values ​​of the manipulator. You can influence through physiological needs and emotions.

Visual influencers

A leader must take care of his appearance. People study and evaluate each other based on their appearance, since the main channel for receiving information is vision. A respectable appearance inspires respect and emphasizes high social status. For men the following are required:

• business suit;
• neat strict haircut;
• no stubble;
• expensive accessories;
• impeccable posture.

Women can wear a business dress instead of a suit. Makeup is light, almost invisible. This type of appearance arouses interest and a desire to listen to words.

Visual aids also include additional materials that accompany the speech: posters, videos, tables and graphs. Presentations and mock-ups are used during negotiations.

Acoustic influences

Impact using speech features also gives good results. You need to watch your voice: speak measuredly. It should sound friendly, but not ingratiating. You can’t speak too quickly - it’s annoying and takes away interest in the words.

Popular speech techniques of influence:

• repeating the last phrase after the interlocutor;
• offering two options to choose from, both of which are beneficial to the manipulator;
• leading questions that encourage you to express your true desires.

To get a positive response from a skeptical interlocutor, you need to create or wait for the right situation. A noisy place with a large crowd of people is suitable for conversation. In such a situation, the object of manipulation will want to end the conversation as quickly as possible and will quickly agree to the proposed conditions.

How are self-control and influence on others related?

Manipulation requires strong willpower and the ability to control your emotions. When directing another person, a leader must be in control of the situation. Otherwise, the object will seize the initiative and you will not be able to influence it.

When self-control has been mastered at a sufficient level, you need to start working on your reputation. It is important to evoke the right impression, trust, and establish an emotional connection.

At first, you need to take the position of an observer: learn to evaluate people from afar, try to guess what they are thinking about. In dialogue, take the position of an active listener: do not impose an opinion, agree with the interlocutor. And only when it opens can you move on to suggestion.

An experienced manipulator can assess at first glance how he should behave with an object. It will take years of continuous training to develop this level of skill. To understand how to manage yourself and people, build relationships, influence the situation from the outside and from the inside, you need to study at least the basics of human psychology.

How to learn to manage people? Strive for mutual benefit!

In the field of human psychology, the question of how to manage people is one of the most popular. Here it is important to observe moderation, without slipping into obvious manipulations. If you use others solely to achieve your goals, then such tactics will ultimately fail. Most people will sooner or later expose your true motivation, and the reaction to it will be resentment, hostility, anger, disgust and even revenge.

Before looking for effective ways to influence other people, consider whether they lead to mutually beneficial interactions. When pursuing your interests, do not forget that the other party should also receive something useful and valuable in return. Only mutually beneficial cooperation between people can be the basis for obtaining benefits. And only in this case will the actions be productive and allow you to achieve regular, rather than one-time results. Use your ability to influence people wisely, without creating around yourself the aura of a manipulator playing with one goal.

Why do influence methods fail to produce results?

Even experienced psychologists are not always able to choose a method of influencing a person. The reason for this may be:

1. Depleted personal resource. If the manipulator is tired, irritated, and cannot concentrate, he will not be able to maintain a leadership position. In such a situation, he himself may become an object of influence. It is better to reschedule the conversation, otherwise it may lead to irreparable results.
2. Psycho-emotional instability. If the target has mental illness, manipulation may backfire. Instead of calming down, a mentally unstable person will experience an attack of aggression. This must be taken into account when choosing a management technique. It is important to remember that a sociopath cannot be controlled because he himself has an innate ability to manipulate.
3. Lack of self-confidence. When a leader does not believe in himself, the target feels it too. Then the desire to subjugate will lead to the manipulator becoming more disappointed in his abilities.
4. Incorrectly selected method of influence. If the technique does not work, the exposure must be stopped.
5. The target is not defined. When a manager does not see the result and uses influence techniques just like that, they will be ineffective.

The main thing a manipulator should strive for is not to allow the objects of influence to understand what is happening. If a person notices that he is being used, the consequences can be dire.

How to manage yourself, people and life? 15 psychological techniques

Answers Dmitry Voedilov, psychologist, author of books on neurolinguistic programming :

1. You feel that the boss is going to scold you. Assess the situation. If the boss has already decided to make you a scapegoat, then it is better to quickly agree with the claims and try to shift the conversation to how you can fix everything. If you actively resist, the boss will go into a rage in an effort to put you in your place. Don't give him this opportunity. You need to immediately identify the problem and involve the manager in a discussion of the problem (and not your stupidity): this and that happened, it’s worth doing this. “What do you think?” This allows you to transfer the dialogue from the emotional area to the area of ​​logic and thus put out the “fire”. And besides, when you unite in solving a problem, you stand on the same side of the barricades and share responsibility.

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2. You were detained at work, and a scandal is brewing at home. Do not try to compensate for a late return with a gift - this will cause even greater suspicion. Use the previous method - unite in solving the problem. Discuss the question something like this: “I don’t have to work, are you ready to support me? I was forced to work. If you want, I will start a conflict, but then we won’t get the bonus. But I’m trying for the sake of money for the whole family.”

3. You need to win over your negotiating partner or employer during an interview. If time is short, use generally accepted “anchors” (in psychology this is what “buttons” are called, by pressing which you get the expected reactions): friendly smiles, sharing recent positive news, a cup of tea or coffee, if the situation allows. If there is enough time, you can try to bring the person into a conversation that allows you to find out his outlook on life (for example, by offering to remember interesting stories from your own or someone else’s life). And then support your interlocutor’s values ​​by saying that you think or would do the same as him, etc.

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4. I would like to bring the person to a frank conversation. You can achieve frankness by moving the conversation out of the “superior-subordinate” state to maintain it as equals. Or translate it to another logical level: “Let’s discuss this life situation,” “Let’s talk like a woman to a woman,” “Let’s have a heart-to-heart talk.” You can tell your supposedly “terrible” secret (made up, of course) and end with these words: “I told you my secret, I would also like to receive a frank answer from you.” The same technique can be used in a conversation with your husband.

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5. Body language can also help establish trust. There is a classic technique of mirroring gestures. Let's say your interlocutor is sitting in a fairly closed position - arms and legs crossed. First, you need to gradually adapt to the interlocutor’s posture and the rhythm of his breathing. Don’t act like a monkey right away, but do it quietly, in several stages. If you don't succeed the first time, there are 2-3 more attempts. And then begin to gradually take a more open pose. If a subconscious “docking” has occurred, then after you the interlocutor will also begin to open up. Now we can start talking about business.

6. Want to find out whether they are telling you the truth or deceiving you. Usually a person's eyes give him away. There is such a pattern: if a person remembers something - sounds, images - then his eyes involuntarily move to the left or up to the left (in relation to the interlocutor it will be to the right). If he composes or invents things, go to the right. Eye movements down to the left mean that a person is conducting an internal dialogue, down to the right - he is focused on sensations (for example, he feels hatred, anger, or has realized his guilt and is ashamed). Accordingly, if your interlocutor is telling the truth, then his eyes move to the left and up. If he lies and makes things up on the fly - to the right and up. The above is true for right-handers. With lefties it's the other way around.

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7. If you want to demonstrate self-confidence , you should not use phrases like: “I think”, “It seems to me”, etc. There is a “rule of quotation marks” - a reference to an authority or group of people. When you want to convince someone that you are right, you should never refer to yourself. This is a big mistake. In such a situation, counter questions immediately arise: “Who are you?” It is necessary to refer to authorities. Let's say: “Famous artists and reputable scientists had this opinion.” Or: “The generally accepted view of the problem is this... Don’t you agree with the opinion of the great scientists? Who are you?"

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8. When your life is poisoned by obsessive thoughts or worries , you need to switch to something else, “interrupt” the internal dialogue with another strong signal. For example, go to the shower, the gym, do some spring cleaning at home, or turn on a movie with an exciting plot.

9. How to hold back your tears if you want to cry? If you have been offended or humiliated in front of everyone, and you do not want to show that this has hurt you greatly, you need to try to turn the energy of the offense into anger. The goal of the offender is to offend. So, there is no need to show it to him. Try to get angry or try to laugh at something inside yourself - for example, you can look for something funny in the appearance of your boss or offender, or remember how he himself once got into a puddle.

10. How to ask for a favor correctly without being refused? To do this, you need to try to attach as little importance to your request as possible. Ask casually: “I took another bag today and forgot to change my wallet (or card). Would you mind borrowing a small amount for lunch?” If you focus too much attention on your request, emphasizing how important it is for you (“I’m so hungry, and I’m out of money, can you lend me until payday?”), then you’ll have less chance. This is a general psychological law: the more significance you attach to your request, the more doubtful the person you ask will be.

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11. How not to do stupid things when angry? You need to switch gears and let off steam. For example, run down the street, break a plate, scream, etc. You can take three deep breaths and three exhalations, and then slowly count to 10. After that, you will look at the situation with different eyes.

12. How to find out which of your friends likes whom. There is a simple secret: when a group of people burst into laughter, then, as a rule, everyone glances at the one who is more attractive to him. This phenomenon is easy to explain. When people meet for the first time, they first evaluate each other’s appearance, and then the inner world of each other. If the information seems funny to someone, then he is interested to see whether another, nice person shares his fun, and whether their values ​​coincide.

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13. How not to worry if an important event or meeting is coming up? A universal trick is to worry in advance. Imagine the worst possible picture of events in order to be as scared as possible. And when the event that frightens you occurs, by that time your emotions will mostly be wasted and burned out. This means it will be easier to cope with anxiety.

14. How to force yourself to do something if you don’t want to? Again, nightmare yourself in advance, imagine what the consequences will be if you do not fulfill your “duty”. Sometimes it’s better to get over it quickly than to drag it out and complicate the situation.

15. How not to yell at a child? If you feel like you’re about to scream, try to abruptly cut off your impulse and start discussing the situation: “Your behavior has really upset me now. Do you want to be yelled at and spanked?” The “reasoning mind” turns on, and the left hemisphere of the brain is activated (the right hemisphere is responsible for emotions). And after some time, analyze the situation to understand what exactly preceded your reaction and turned out to be the trigger. Awareness of this and analysis will help you prevent breakdowns in time.

Useful literature

You can learn to manipulate people on your own by reading special books. For beginners, it is better to choose authors who clearly explain control techniques without delving into complex terminology:

1. Z. Freud “Analysis of the human self and mass psychology.” The father of psychoanalytic theory examines in detail the features of relationships between relatives, friends, and colleagues. The author also gives characteristics of the leader, describing his outstanding qualities.
2. S. Kholnov and V. Shlakhter “The Art of Dominance.” A set of ready-made techniques that can be used in work and personal life.
3. V. Sheinov “The Art of Managing People.” The author uses examples from life to examine hidden techniques of manipulation and protection against them. Provides ready-made methods for conducting negotiations and ways out of conflict situations.
4. R. Cialdini “Psychology of Persuasion.” In the book, the author collected 50 persuasion techniques based on the results of psychological research.
5. H. Fexeus “How to read and control other people’s thoughts.” This book will help you learn to predict the behavior and desires of others and, based on this, build your behavior.
6. R. Levin “Mechanisms of manipulation.” This book contains tips that are suitable for people whose lives are connected with advertising and business: negotiating, signing an agreement, increasing sales.

Learning how to manage people will take time, but with constant practice, selecting the appropriate influence technique will be easy.

GuruTest

There is a clear hierarchy in the natural world. In society this is not so noticeable, but it also happens. Leadership is often invisible, but brings its benefits to the immediate leader. Special rules that have long been recorded in textbooks on management help to achieve the favor of society or a small group of people.

If you follow these important rules, then at a minimum you will be able to be more independent in relation to the people around you. You will be able to achieve that you will be respected on a non-verbal level, listened to, followed by your ideas. This will make you luckier overall.

People management methods

There are two types of methods: constructive (benefits for everyone, not just the leader) and destructive (decisions benefit only the leader). As mentioned above, there are a huge number of methods for managing people for your own purposes, so we will tell you about the most effective and popular ones.

Method one : direct destructive manipulation. Manipulation is carried out mainly by emotions, since any person is primarily driven by feelings. Here is a list of feelings and emotions that you can put pressure on in order to achieve the goal and the required result:

• love (used most often in family or relationships, when people try to achieve their goals, citing the fact of their love as an argument - “I love you...”)
• hope (this feeling is most often awakened by bosses when they instill false hope for improved conditions and pay, demanding more work be done)
• guilt (manipulation based on convincing a person that he should do something for you due to his wrong actions that caused you harm in the past. This method is sometimes called the debt method, because you make the person feel that he owes you something or owes you something)

Method two : recognition, praise. This is an excellent constructive method, which is based on the fact that the group leader always publicly praises someone. This will help you become a leader of the group, since you do not violate moral norms and rules, but focus the attention of the entire group on one person. Feel free to use template phrases like: “Look how great Sasha is...”, “Listen to him, he means business”, “Great, you helped all of us...”.

Method three : physical method. In this case, I would like to note several techniques that must be used constantly and only in conjunction with each other. This method is called physical because it is based on physical contact and eye contact. To be more likely to become a leader, you should always:

• adjust your voice and body to your opponent or colleague. It is useful to adjust your voice in timbre and volume when talking on the phone - this will help you gain confidence. Adjust your body when standing or sitting - take a similar position to make the person more comfortable. The same is true for breathing and even blinking.
• watch the gestures of the person you are talking to. Closed postures, when your arms are crossed or placed one behind the other on your chest, mean that you are not trusted. This is very important when you are having an all-important dialogue based on mutual trust.
• try to accidentally touch the person's body. The fact is that when you casually touch a shoulder or arm, it creates a feeling of trust in you. Remember that the touch should be ephemeral, casual and barely noticeable. The effect will not be long in coming.

Manipulating people is not an easy thing that requires a lot of experience and constant training. Of course, the advice given will already make you more advanced, but you should not think that knowledge will help you - train as often as possible, hone your skills. The psychology of business relationships is like martial arts, because without practice you will not achieve any results.

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28.02.2016 00:00