How to learn to manage your emotions?
The first step is to acknowledge the presence of emotions. We cannot deceive ourselves and say that we are not angry when we are angry! It's time to learn to call a spade a spade.
Psychologists identify 4 main emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness.
Try to name the emotions you experience. Remember, there are no emotions that you should be ashamed of. You cannot divide emotions into right or wrong. We cannot give up emotions or choose how we feel.
Any emotion is a message that cannot be ignored. Analyze it. Take a conscious approach to studying your condition. Ask yourself: what are these emotions? What is their reason? Give yourself honest answers to these questions.
When we break emotions down into their components and understand their nature, the power of emotions is lost and our thinking begins to dominate.
For example, the aggression we feel towards a situation or person is often completely unrelated to it. It is our past experience that breaks out, manifesting itself as negative emotions. If you “cut from the shoulder” in such a situation, you can seriously ruin your relationships with people.
Therefore, we need the skill of mindfulness. You need to use reason and not let your feelings overwhelm you.
Stephen Covey, in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” identifies the ability to not give in to emotions as the main ability leading to success in life. He calls it proactivity. The idea is that there is a distance between the stimulus (the situation) and the reaction (the expression of emotion). The more conscious we are, the greater this distance is, and accordingly we have more time to analyze the situation.
Read Stephen Covey!
Psychologists told how to control yourself in any situation
Scientists from the University of Michigan are confident that people with high levels of self-control age slower and live longer. Participants in a scientific experiment with willpower and low impulsiveness coped better with financial and social difficulties, which is why they remained youthful and healthy longer. In addition, the bodies and brains of those who controlled their emotions and thoughts from childhood also turned out to be healthier and biologically younger. A MIR 24 correspondent found out how to develop self-control and not give in to panic and emotions in any situation.
According to psychologist Olga Korotko
, there may be several reasons why some people are more emotional, while others are able to control themselves from childhood. For example, this may depend on innate qualities or on negative experiences in childhood, which laid the foundation for a hyper-emotional way of reacting. However, the human brain is capable of learning a new way at any age.
“When trying to cope with emotions, you should never suppress them within yourself. The danger with this type of reaction is that if emotions are suppressed, they will be turned inward, on yourself. Strong emotions, not expressed and directed towards oneself, can not only create anxiety, but also cause hypertension, heart problems or lead to depression,” says the expert.
To react calmly to everything, you can first master breathing and relaxation techniques.
“When you are at a boiling point and your emotions take control of you, it is returning to the body that will help reduce the intensity. There is a lot of information out there about relaxation, but the simplest thing is to give yourself a couple of minutes to take a few deep breaths. Focus your attention on your body and watch your chest rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. Practice this breathing daily and you will soon notice improvements in your emotional state,” explains Korotko.
It is important to learn to show emotions in doses, to speak clearly about your needs to others before emotions take over, the expert adds.
Shatterstock/Fotodom
“Emotions can be released by redirecting them in a healthier direction. Excessive aggression can be directed into sports or active projects. Another tool is a sense of humor. It is humor that can best defuse the situation and reduce the intensity of passions. When you are angry and want to call someone a bad word, imagine what this image literally looks like. This exercise helps you disconnect from strong emotions, look at the situation from a different angle, and therefore choose a new, environmentally friendly way of responding,” comments Korotko.
In turn, forensic psychologist Oleg Dolgitsky
I am sure that the presence of self-control is due to a clearly expressed moral and ethical component of the personality and attention. You can develop self-control, for example, through developing gaming skills.
“In case of problems with attention, we can recommend that a person master turn-based games. Chess, board games, even computer games like the “Heroes of the Sword” or “Civilization” series are ideal for this. In case of problems with the moral and ethical component of the individual, it is necessary to master ethical rules, which are perfectly presented in philosophy, ethics, and traditional religion,” says the psychologist.
Despite the fact that the component of self-control is laid down in childhood, between 3-7 years, you can learn to control yourself even as an adult.
“To do this, it is necessary, as I noted above, to master turn-based games and their rules. And having already fully developed attention in the game, it is necessary to master the rules by which society works through religion, ethics, norms and laws of the state, of course,” concluded Dolgitsky.
How to learn to control yourself and your emotions
If a person is able to be aware of the situation and control his emotions and consciousness, it will be easier for him to control the manifestation of negative behavior, directing his emotions in the right direction.
In cases, say, related to business, relationships, work, which require great endurance, self-discipline, self-control, it is extremely important to learn not to be nervous and control emotions. Imagine a boss who realizes that the report you provided was done very poorly.
He begins to blush, yell at you, and pound his fist on the table. His impulsiveness will be emotionally contagious, but will not always contribute to effective activity.
Imagine a boss who realizes that the report you provided was very poorly done. He begins to blush, yell at you, and pound his fist on the table. His impulsiveness will be emotionally contagious, but will not always contribute to effective activity.
But if the boss has excellent self-control, his self-control is at a high level, his behavior will be completely different. He will understand the team's inexperience and will not be quick to judge. Having thought through the necessary questions, he will call the company’s employees, express his opinion about what happened in a manner free from aggression, and ultimately make a correct and balanced decision.
How to learn to control your feelings
Through psychological counseling, you will analyze events in which you may have failed to exercise self-control and gradually establish the reasons why this happened. In each case they may be different. Perhaps they are associated with a stressful situation, or due to mental trauma experienced in the past.
Using a variety of techniques, you need to carry out such work as a result of which you will be able to control your emotions. Over time, you will definitely notice that your self-control takes on the character of a normal state, a correct model of behavior. As a result, you can and will take responsibility for your behavior and emotions, actions, thoughts, actions. You will finally become a more confident person.
What needs to be done for this
Gary Weber claims that it is extremely difficult to completely control your mind. This is why many people are skeptical when they hear about this theory. But the point is not to think strictly about what you would like, but to discard extraneous thoughts
In this case, we are talking about the fact that you can pay attention to the thoughts arising in your head and stop negative thought processes in time. For example, instead of losing your temper and starting to eat chocolate while on a diet, you catch yourself thinking about it and redirect it in a different direction
The idea is to switch in time and not live in captivity of negative emotions and anxieties, to be able to reconfigure yourself in a positive way. There is a whole system that allows you to do this. It consists of several stages:
1. Acknowledge what is happening to you. You must learn to be aware of the current situation, be honest with yourself and not flatter yourself with hopes that everything will resolve itself.
2. Accept what happened, don’t run from the problem. Realize that although this is happening here and now, this phenomenon is only temporary. You will soon figure it out, because you have already started thinking about a solution to the problem.
3. Find the root cause. Dig into your head, track where the origin of negative thoughts and emotions comes from. When filtering, go to the very beginning to deal with the problem in the bud.
4. Solving the problem and quickly switching to a positive emotion. Find the reason. Having dealt with it, immediately switch to completely different emotions, filling your head with bright thoughts that will bring you satisfaction even on a physical level.
In other words, the whole idea is to become aware of, stop and disconnect negative emotions. By practicing this every day, over time you will learn to filter out everything that makes you uncomfortable and upsets you day after day.
How to learn to control your appetite
A large number of girls ruin their health with various diets and fasting in order to lose weight, which is considered unnecessary, to get in shape so that men will like them. After some time of inactivity, girls gain weight again, this leads to irritability, anger, and sometimes depression. Experts involved in proper nutrition argue that a more effective way to lose excess weight is to regulate your own appetite. That is, you should learn to recognize the desires of the body itself, how to satisfy them, while controlling your appetite. Scientists distinguish different types of hunger, which therefore require different methods of control.
Thus, there is visual hunger when, passing by a display case with buns, a person notices a croissant or pie, which causes an immediate thirst to eat it. The sight of food provokes the release of a certain set of hormones into the blood, which provoke a feeling of hunger.
How to control visual hunger:
– a person should first of all switch to a completely different object. Figuratively speaking, eat with the eyes of a handsome guy passing by or an apple depicted on a poster;
– before eating food, you should examine it carefully to see how appetizing everything looks;
– even if the meal takes place alone, the table setting should be perfect, right down to the color of the tablecloth and the correct placement of food on the plate.
Physiological hunger is a loss of strength, rumbling in the stomach, headache. These are signs that the body requires replenishing energy reserves.
How to control your appetite:
– eat food slowly, paying attention to the signals given by the body;
– stop mid-meal to assess your strength;
– Don’t confuse hunger with irritability or anxiety.
Taste hunger may be due to the desire to feel a special taste, something specific or original.
To control taste hunger you need:
– use the same product in different dishes (for example, steam fish, bake in the oven, or make fish balls;
– try to diversify the food you eat as much as possible, even if it involves something extraordinary.
You should also learn to ask yourself questions: “is this worth it?”, “am I sure that I really want this?” Until you get the true answer to these questions, don’t simply clog your stomach.
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How to manage the emotions and feelings of other people?
You can learn to manage emotions and feelings thanks to special practices. I also teach them on the course. Is it possible through transforming yourself?
It is important to remember and not forget that any person, without exception, is also the Source and Creator of his own World
And even if, at the cost of incredible energy costs and wasting personal resources, you can somehow control the physical body of another person, then you will never be able to cope with the Source inside him. The source will always strive towards joy and will not allow itself to be pulled in the opposite direction.
Always remember!
Everything around us and everything around us are our manifestations. Attempts to influence manifestations, trying to change them, are simply fruitless. For one single reason - the control mechanism is not in them, but within ourselves.
Are you capable of self-control? Let's look at the natal chart!
The ability to consciously manage emotions and behavior can be laid down from birth. There are people who are internally humble, moderate, and have a high level of self-control. As a rule, they have a strong Mars, Mercury or Saturn in their natal chart. All of these planets are, to one degree or another, related to self-control, discipline, prudence and restraint.
Draw up your natal chart according to our step-by-step instructions and see if you have the following provisions:
- Saturn in the 1st house, especially in the signs of Libra, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius or Pisces, indicates a purposeful, internally mature person. He knows how to control himself, is prone to self-censorship and self-control.
- If in the chart Mercury is in Virgo, Gemini or Leo, Taurus, Libra, this also speaks of a person’s willpower, that since childhood he has been able to control his behavior or restrain his emotions.
- A strong Mars (in Scorpio, Aries or Capricorn, in good houses) can also indicate strict self-control and adaptability.
The need for self-control may increase during periods of Sade Sati, Saturn or Mercury Mahadasha. Even without possessing internal willpower, a person can begin to develop it in himself. And very successfully! For this, various practices, techniques and meditations are used.
Do you want to learn how to build your natal chart to see your hidden potential and purpose, know your weak and strong points and upgrade them to avoid many problems? Register via the link to our free webinar, where we will tell you how to create your own individual horoscope and learn how to fulfill your desires using a special technique.
An example from my life of how I took control of an emotion
Okay, now let's use a specific example from my life. Let’s take an emotion that has haunted me, probably my entire adult life. This is DEPRESSION. In other words, overload. This is a feeling of grief and some kind of helplessness regarding affairs or situations in life. That is, when depression sets in, I begin to feel that my life has fallen under the influence of some events or forces and that everything is out of my control.
There is a feeling that everything is going wrong, everything is against you and the problem is global. It seems like it will always be like this and it will never get better. You begin to blame everything and everyone around for these problems. Your head is completely boiling, your hands give up. If you let this go, you can fall into depression.
I constantly tried to fight this. Or suppress this state. Alcohol, cigarettes, spending money on various kinds of toys and the like... But this does not solve the problem at the root. To solve it, you need to know the REASON for depression. And I found her...
Let's remember the proverb: “If you chase two hares, you won’t catch either.” Gold words. My grandfather told me this several times and, in fact, gave me a solution to my problem. If I didn’t consider myself too smart and all-knowing, I would have already achieved a lot in life. And so the realization came to me quite recently.
My grandfather told me: “If you want to make the most of your day, you should set yourself a maximum of 2 important tasks. You do one before lunch, then you sleep a little, and your brain reboots and rests. You wake up and complete the 2nd task. If the task is large-scale, then you only complete one per day.”
These are the golden words I ignored. And my grandfather was the chief design engineer, first at the Integral plant, and then at the Horizon plant. Behind him are several inventions in the field of electronics, resistors, and televisions. There were hundreds of people under his leadership, a great many tasks were set and they had to be completed. Especially in the conditions of the international race in the 70s and 80s.
So, let's return to the topic of the article. Depression is a signal to action
This emotion tells me: “Pasha, please, finally, re-evaluate what is most important to you in this particular situation.” I should take a piece of paper and write down in order of priority the tasks that I want to complete in the near future.
Then choose one of them, the most important, and focus only on it.
Now, when I get overwhelmed, I quickly follow the 6 steps described in the previous section and start going according to plan.
After this, the depression begins to evaporate. All I have to do is sit down, think about my goals, write them down on paper, and make a decision about how and when I will accomplish them. And depression begins to develop into a sense of control over the situation. Simple steps, right? And then comes the work on completing the task. And it passes in a normal, unsuppressed state.
It turns out that the feeling of overload is now my friend and I say a huge thank you to him for forcing me to become better. Now I know that when it comes, it means I'm doing something wrong. I accept this signal and try to act.
We're going to be a plus
After a reliable feeling of a neutral state, it would be good to get into the black. To do this, feel what you can be grateful for in life right now. This is at least the opportunity to walk, hear, sleep on a bed with clean linen. For those who try, but do not feel gratitude, the advice is to try to imagine themselves without it.
For those who are especially inquisitive, who want to feel it in such a way that it “gets through”, there is an effective recommendation. You need to tie your hands behind your back and try to live a normal life like this for at least an hour. The understanding that there is value and for which life can be grateful with feeling will quickly appear, I assure you.
Find your hobby
How to manage your emotions with the help of interests and hobbies? An activity that you enjoy helps you spend your dull everyday life more interestingly. If you have a hobby or passion, then you can no longer be considered lonely. Hobbies push a person to new acquaintances, knowledge, and feelings.
With the help of what you love, you can definitely change your life for the better. Moreover, when you do what you like, emotions are at a high positive level. If you are doing something interesting, you will never be bored.
Any activity that interests you will bring irreplaceable benefits. Doing what you love will help you understand how to manage your emotions and feelings. If you naturally know how to speak beautifully and express your opinions, you can start writing a book. If you have the ability to draw, paint pictures. There are many exciting activities, among which everyone can choose something to their liking.
An excellent hobby that helps manage emotions and feelings is walking in the fresh air. They help to free yourself from negative thoughts. While walking, you can think about any question, and since you will be in a state of pleasant peace, the answer will be found much easier and faster. The more often and longer you walk, the longer you will be in a relaxed, peaceful state.
How to control your emotions?
The ability to control your face is a real art that has been valued since ancient times. The rulers of antiquity, like modern political leaders, simply had to master their facial expressions perfectly and skillfully hide their annoyance, resentment, fear and uncertainty. No matter what a person says, his words will seem significant only if they are supported by an appropriate facial expression. Aristocrats were recognized in any conditions - by their demeanor and facial expression, which was unusual for the “rabble.” But sometimes a “simple” person with a good artistic gift and a little courage could successfully pass himself off as a very important person.
Control over emotions
Not much has changed these days. Although the roles have become more flexible and often transform into one another, nevertheless, to this day, very often the question of “who is xy” is resolved by analyzing the facial expression of the interlocutor. Naturally, a calm, confident facial expression, a slight half-smile touching only the tips of the lips, a head slightly thrown back, allowing you to look at your interlocutor from bottom to top (regardless of height) from under half-lowered upper eyelids will show that you are dealing with a person who is confident in himself and accustomed to dominate. However, nowhere is it written that you cannot do the same. Stand in front of the mirror and give yourself the appropriate look. Master a fixed, attentive gaze. Controlling your emotions is not that difficult. Don't look away, calmly look at your interlocutor. If you don’t want to look him in the eyes, don’t. Looking above the eyes or at the bridge of the nose will give excellent results. This is exactly what hypnotists do. Restrain your facial impulses - do not rush to laugh, even if you are having fun, or get upset if you were told something very unpleasant. The impulse to laugh can be curbed by instantly imagining oneself in a situation where laughter is inappropriate.
How to control your emotions
Imagine that you are at a funeral ceremony (scenes from comedy films are excluded!). If you still feel that the corners of your lips are treacherously creeping up, hide it with some natural gesture: “adjust” your glasses on your forehead, simultaneously “erasing” your smile, turn to the window as if interested in something, rub your nose in thought . It’s more difficult to hide sudden grief; try to hide behind some phrase like “Is that so? Wow!”, “What a pity!”, “Really?”, indicating that for you this message is negative only formally, but not in reality. Learn to control your face! Learn to control your emotions! This model of behavior will come in handy if you are going to have a serious business conversation with someone. When communicating with friends or family, the advice is always the same - be natural!
Although sometimes it happens that natural behavior is more difficult for a person, and it is easier for him to master another role or mask than to try to be himself. Well, learning to be yourself is the hardest thing. Because any advice and any instruction only conveys someone else’s experience, someone else’s images. In addition, directive instructions “You must” are negatively perceived by the subconscious, which acts naturally only when there is no pressure from the outside.
How to control your emotions using the Buddhist method?
Adepts of Zen Buddhism achieve naturalness through long-term training that lasts for years and even decades. For us, ordinary lay people, it is enough that we try to apply in practice a simple principle: everything that I did, I did in the best possible way. If I could, I would do better. Therefore, there is no point in reproaching yourself for the fact that you did something wrong, did not work somewhere, or could have made more efforts. Take note - it is necessary. But “nagging” yourself is a thankless task and devoid of practical benefit. In addition, a person who does not love himself so much that he is ready to gnaw at his nervous system over trifles is unlikely to be able to effectively exist in our dynamic world. But we want to be effective, don’t we?
August 14, 2021 at 06:01 pm
Anatoly Dobin
How to control your emotions
The word “emotion” is translated from Latin as “shock.” This is truly an amazing phenomenon and mental process that is still poorly understood.
Emotions excite a person and express his subjective attitude to real, past and possible situations. In addition, they motivate to act, study, learn new things, and set goals.
How to restrain emotions if they are spontaneous and natural manifestations of human nature? Do they need to be suppressed if they shape how we relate to ourselves, others, and the world?
Emotions in themselves do not harm the body; the degree of their intensity can be harmful. Too strong emotions, whether they are negative or positive, are stressful for the body. Prolonged strong emotions lead to mental and physiological illnesses.
Despite the fact that the emotional nature of humans is not fully understood, research in this area confirms the ability of people to control emotions through willpower.
An emotionally stable person is not one who is completely devoid of the ability to feel and experience, but one who has learned to regulate his psycho-emotional state.
Some people, due to their temperament and character, are reserved and little emotional, “cold”, others are too sensitive and anxious. All people experience emotions, although they express them differently. Even the most reserved and always calm person can laugh uncontrollably or cry bitterly if the stimulus for such emotions is strong enough.
Perhaps every person has once wondered how to learn to control their emotions.
Recommendations for those who want to learn to control themselves and not be an overly emotional person:
- Understanding the nature of emotions
Knowing and understanding the nature of emotions makes them easier to experience. Analyzing the causes of strong feelings helps to understand them. The strength and tone of emotions is influenced by the mental and physical state, past experiences and moods of the people around us.
The phenomenon of emotional contagion is a clear example of the fact that a strong emotion can arise because all the people around us experience it. For example, panic in a crowd spreads like lightning. The solution to the problem is very simple - move away, leave the society “infected” by emotion.
So in other cases, having learned the source or cause of emotions, you need to try to eliminate them.
A person may be irritated because he has a headache, and his loved ones will conclude that he is angry or offended at them for no reason. You always need to control your emotions!
- Physical methods
Body position, posture, facial expressions and gestures not only express, but also contribute to the emergence of emotions. A smile both speaks of a good mood and causes it; Brave people look into the eyes of their interlocutor, so in order to suppress fear you need to look at your opponent; You can reduce the level of aggression by relaxing your shoulders, arms, jaw, and so on. By noticing and noting what emotion your body is signaling, you can regulate it.
The answer to the question of how to learn to control yourself lies within itself - learn to do it, in the literal sense. When a person seems to hug himself with his arms or connect them behind his back, he restrains emotional impulses. They say about a restrained person that he controls himself, about an impulsive person that he lets his hands go.
The best body posture that helps to exercise self-control is a calm, relaxed, but at the same time confident posture, that is, one in which it is comfortable to be.
Athletes know how to control themselves. Physical activity and exercise develop willpower, endurance and help express accumulated negativity in a safe way. Don’t forget about such an important physical method as rest and healthy sleep.
- Reformatting emotions, feelings and thoughts
Positive thinking is an important component of the ability to control emotions and feelings. Without faith that you will be able to control yourself, it is unlikely that you will succeed.
To change negative experiences, you first need to correctly label them with a word, name them, and then identify the desired positive emotion or state. When it becomes clear what to strive for, you need to try to convince yourself that this state already exists now, at the present moment. Self-hypnosis is one of the ways to reformat a negative emotion.
- Humor is a great stress reliever
The method of finding something funny or stupid in a difficult situation helps to get rid of pessimistic obsessive thoughts and feelings. If you can’t find anything funny, you can dream up. For example, if you have to listen to unfounded reproaches, imagine how the offender’s nose lengthens or he himself decreases in size, and his voice becomes funny, like that of cartoon characters.
Dislike for oneself, inability to set goals, perfectionism, and excessive self-criticism hinder psychological self-regulation. If such problems exist, you should try to get rid of them yourself or by seeking help from a psychologist.
Analysis of emotions and feelings
We can sort out our emotions and feelings if two conditions are met. The first rule is to be honest with yourself. Secondly, constant questions.
Examples:
You are annoyed.
Find the reason. This could be a stranger, a situation that does not depend on you, or you yourself.
If it's a person, think about it: did he specifically want to offend you? Are you really the cause of the irritation? It is possible that he expressed his opinion based on his own standards, maybe he had a difficult day or other difficulties arose that were not related to you. Don't rush to take personally all the unpleasant things you hear. Before responding to him with rudeness, think about solutions.
Tell him directly what is important to you, set boundaries beyond which he should not go. If a person does not understand, reduce communication with him to a minimum or eliminate it altogether.
You feel a sense of fear.
Fear is the expectation of something bad. You can sit and beat yourself up, or you can try to figure out the situation. Ask yourself, what specifically scares you? What's the worst thing that could happen in this situation? Be honest, don't suppress your thoughts.
Think about real actions that will eliminate fear. Take action and you will see that everything is not so bad.
You are offended.
When a situation is not fully resolved, people often become resentful. They are sure that they were treated unfairly and begin to replay the situation in their heads over and over again. Resentment eats people away from the inside.
Your task is to let go of the feeling of resentment. Look at the situation through the eyes of the person who offended you. Did he have another option? Did he know about your feelings? What exactly were you offended by?
If possible, talk to him, calmly tell him about the problem. Often people hold grudges because they are not expressed. Stop chewing snot! Managing negative emotions will give you great freedom.
How to learn to accept
Step 1: Agree “Yes, this happened.”
Do not confuse this point with humility. Acceptance means agreeing that the situation is inevitable, that you are ready to endure the hardships of adversity for the rest of your life. To reconcile is to submit to circumstances. And accepting a situation means agreeing that it has already happened, but at the same time understanding that there is always a way out of any situation, including this one. And as a rule, there is more than one way out. All that remains is to find this way out.
Step 2. Find the reason “why it happened”
Every situation contains a “pearl of wisdom.” Think about why this situation happened to you
Realize what is important it highlights to you. Thank everyone who participated in the events, do not forget about yourself, for a new vision of what happened
Step 3. Move on without looking back
Move on without looking back at “I know how to prevent this from happening.” For example: you left the house and it was raining outside. You had to go back for an umbrella. You will not be offended and complain about the rain, that it is inappropriate for you. Even if you grumble, you certainly won’t hang around in this state for a long time. Accept this as a fact and, based on this situation, next time, before leaving, look out the window and grab the necessary items immediately so that you don’t have to return.
How to control thoughts and emotions?
Why do you need to control your emotions? They affect not only thoughts, but also a person’s mood, behavior and even energy production. If you experience negativity, then the energy will not appear. Only when a person has goals that he wants to achieve does he have strength.
Control of emotions makes a person independent of circumstances and the mood of other people, as well as free. If you still know how to control and specifically evoke certain emotions in yourself, then you yourself begin to program your mood.
Don't expect your emotions to be only positive. Allow any emotions to be present. Just don't let them control you.
Self-control: why is it more important than it seems and how to develop it?
The skill of self-control is necessary in all areas of life, in any situation. He develops concentration and a responsible approach to any task. Its development requires willpower: only by overcoming yourself can you take the right path leading to success. You already know what self-control is
, and why it is important, and now let’s look at how to learn how to develop it.
What exactly needs to be controlled?
Self control is
a combination of willpower and internal discipline that does not allow one to succumb to harmful temptations (laziness, aggression, apathy, ignorance, depression, despondency). To have full control of yourself, you need to keep three things under control: emotions, behavior, thoughts. Especially thoughts! They are the ones who push a person to rash behavior, affecting emotional intelligence.
What needs to be overcome first?
The main enemies of self-control are impulsiveness and reflexes that cause parasitic desires. Impulsivity is associated with immediate desires and blocks the analysis of possible negative consequences (for example, a snack/diet, studying for an exam/party with friends).
Reflexes are associated with bad habits that the brain has already put on automatic (smoking, alcohol, lack of concentration, chronic laziness). It is quite difficult to control yourself when you are under the influence of the spell of one or the other (often both). But by doing a series of exercises you can achieve excellent results in a real time frame.
Why is self-control important? What are the advantages of people with this quality?
Let's assume that you are ready to master the wisdom of self-control. This
It’s not easy, so motivation is extremely important! Let's find out what bonuses you will receive if you learn to manage your own emotions and subjugate impulsive character traits to your will?
Psychologists say: self-control gives freedom from external restrictions and inner peace, which arises from faith in one’s strength, skills and mind. Self-control is directly related to self-esteem, it helps to understand and manage other people, this is a quality that gives patience in overcoming both internal weaknesses and external obstacles.
From a practical point of view, people with self-control are less susceptible to bad habits and learn good ones faster.
Self-control is associated with structuring, a daily routine, and a tendency to perform certain actions at the same time, and this makes achieving any goal more accessible and simpler, and decision-making does not require the utmost strain of mental strength.
Self-control has a direct connection with awareness, which means that impulsive purchases, overeating, bad habits (drinking, smoking) are not so dangerous for those who are “friends” with this character trait.
Entering a state of concentration is not particularly difficult, because self-control extends not only to physical and emotional reactions, but also to a person’s thoughts. Having developed willpower, you will easily get into a working state, focus on the goal and achieve it.
Rules
- During these ten days, give up all non-resourceful feelings and thoughts. Refuse to ask yourself questions that don't inspire you. Avoid using metaphors or words that are associated with negative emotions and thoughts.
- Every morning and evening for ten days, use the morning and evening questions (see below).
- If you catch yourself focusing on the negative (this will definitely happen), immediately use the technique of transitioning to a better emotional state (see below “questions of getting out of a difficult situation”).
- For ten days, concentrate on solving problems. As soon as a problem appears, immediately figure out how to solve it.
- If you all “lost it,” that is, you caught yourself with resourceful feelings or thoughts, you shouldn’t blame yourself. If you change this immediately, then everything will be fine. However, if you stay in this state for more than a minute, then start counting ten days the next morning. This must be done, regardless of which day out of these ten you failed: the first or the ninth.
Make your bed immediately after getting up
This is a very simple and easy habit to implement, but it still makes a big difference. It’s very simple: as soon as you get up, immediately tidy up your bed. Don't check your phone for messages, don't open your laptop, or go into the kitchen. Just make the bed. The point is to develop the habit of performing this simple procedure every day.
By making your bed, you subconsciously convince yourself that the rest period is over and it’s time to start a new day.
Tidying your bed is one of the small habits that, over time, will add up and make you a disciplined person.
