Frigidity in adults: symptoms, causes, treatment

Psychotherapist

Genvarskaya

Diana Igorevna

16 years of experience

Sexologist, psychotherapist. Candidate of Medical Sciences. Receives English-speaking patients.

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Frigidity is a decrease in libido, a complete lack of interest in sex. Excitement does not occur even in frank moments. Some people experience pain after or during sexual intercourse. An integrated approach and consultation of several specialists are required. Let's look at how to cure frigidity, and what to do with female frigidity.

Symptoms and signs of frigidity

Symptoms of frigidity may be invisible to the patient, but are always noticeable to the partner:

• attraction either disappears completely or appears in rare moments;
• sexual intercourse is perceived as a duty, and any discussion of the topic causes irritation;
• a person simply ceases to be interested in sex, even if a loved one is next to him;
• if sex does occur, the body does not react to the process in any way. Excitement disappears, lubrication is not released, there are no emotions either, and as a result there is no orgasm;
• before and after sex, painful sensations may appear in the genitals and anus;
• after the process there is a feeling of disappointment or irritation.

Many do not understand what frigidity means, trying to justify themselves with other reasons. However, the disease can be truly dangerous if you do not pay attention to it in time.

Causes

Why does this problem occur?

Numerous negative factors lead to a decrease in sexual desire and the appearance of other signs of a problem

Most often, this is a psychological aspect, however, frigidity can also develop as a result of pathological processes occurring in the body.

unfavorable reasons lead to a lack of sexual desire in women :

1. Inept actions of a sexual partner.
2. Ignorance of one’s own body, those zones whose active stimulation leads to achieving orgasm.
3. Pathological fear of negative consequences (pregnancy or infection with sexually transmitted diseases).
4. Psychological trauma associated with past sexual experiences (pain during first sex, rape, early pregnancy and abortion).
5. Changes in hormonal balance in the body.
   For example, during pregnancy, menopause, diseases of the endocrine system, long-term use of hormonal drugs.
6. Anomalies in the structure of the organs of the reproductive system, as a result of which a woman feels pain during sexual intercourse).
7. Untreated sexually transmitted diseases, pathologies of the genitourinary system.
8. The postpartum period, during which a woman, busy with constant care of her newborn, is in a state of chronic fatigue.
9. The period of lactation, when a woman’s body produces an excess amount of the hormone prolactin (it is necessary to increase the amount of breast milk). Such changes often lead to temporary frigidity.
10. Lack of emotional intimacy with a partner, or physical rejection.
11. Painful sensations in the vaginal area (vaginismus), in which even a slight touch can cause pain to the woman.
12. Long-term use of psychotropic medications, addiction to drugs and alcohol.
13. Lack of love and parental attention in childhood.
14. Errors in upbringing (for example, if a girl was raised in a family that adheres to very strict moral principles).
15. Frequent stress and emotional overstrain in situations not related to intimate life.
    For example, failures at work, problems communicating with relatives or friends, financial problems.
16. Prolonged absence of sexual activity.
17. An excessive number of complexes, dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance (when a woman believes that she is ugly, and therefore cannot arouse sexual desire in men).

In men, frigidity often develops against the background of such unfavorable factors as:

1. Stress and problems in the professional sphere.
2. Constant fatigue associated with heavy physical work.
3. Various diseases that are not always associated with the genitourinary area (for example, pathologies of the digestive system, heart).
4. Negative relationships with women in the past (for example, if a boy was raised in a single-parent family, was forced to obey a strict mother, and then a boss at work).
5. An unsuccessful first sexual experience, after which the man begins to feel insecure about his own masculine viability.
6. Poor lifestyle, in particular, taking drugs, drinking alcohol, smoking.
7. Pathologies of the reproductive system associated with age-related changes (for example, prostatitis, age-related decrease in erection).

Of course, these reasons do not always lead to the appearance of signs of frigidity, but they significantly increase the risk of developing the problem.

Reasons for development

The causes of frigidity in women and men are divided into 2 categories: psychological and physiological.

Psychological reasons include:

• prolonged stress and overwork bring rest and sleep to the forefront, rather than sexual pleasures; this is a normal reaction of the body, which tries to protect a person from even greater overload;
• sexual violence, even if it happened many years ago, is a significant reason for a psychological barrier, especially if the negative experience was the first in life, in such a situation one cannot do without the help of a psychologist;
• the partner began to evoke negative emotions or disgust, during quarrels, problems, breakups, mental wounds remain that do not allow you to turn to the person again, sex in this way is violence against oneself;
• fear of an unplanned pregnancy, if the fear is obsessive, the girl cannot relax;
• in families where frigid personalities grow up, it is not customary to express emotions, coldness and detachment are encouraged.

Among the physiological ones:

• injured genitals cause damage to nerve endings;
• after childbirth, the vaginal walls are severely injured, which is also a common cause of lack of desire;
• Pathologies in organ development are less common.

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Frigidity - how to determine?

According to statistics, frigidity occurs in more than 12% of women, and a third of women in the world have never experienced orgasm.

Translated from Latin, the word “frigid” means “cold.” Medicine refers to this term as a complete or weak lack of libido in females, which interferes with normal sexual life and is the cause of infertility. How to deal with frigidity? This sexual disorder depends on many factors, and it can only be cured by finding out the cause of its occurrence.

How can you tell if a woman is frigid?

Naturally, only a doctor can know for sure how to determine frigidity. But a woman should be alerted to such symptoms as an absolute lack of desire to have sex, even after preliminary caresses of her sexual partner. Frigid women not only do not experience pleasure and orgasm, they do not have a feeling of satisfaction after sex, since they do not have the slightest need for it. Typically, with such a sexual disorder, patients never have erotic dreams and are completely indifferent to sexual relations, and sometimes even experience an aversion to them.

Reduced libido or partial frigidity also occurs, when the need for sex arises, say, once every six months. In this case, the woman feels a slight attraction under the influence of foreplay, but this is not enough for sexual intimacy. Therefore, she usually tries to avoid sex or engages in sexual contact only to satisfy a man.

How to determine frigidity by external signs? Many women suffering from this sexual disorder over time develop such negative character traits as grumpiness, lust for power, excessive need for deification, and others.

There are not many ways to determine a woman’s frigidity. The main thing is to establish the cause of its occurrence and try to eliminate it. If the disorder is symptomatic and is a consequence of a disease of the nervous system, the help of a neuropsychiatrist will be required.

Provoking factors

Frigidity happens:

• primary, which occurs in a young, sexually unawakened woman who has just begun sexual activity. Usually, the first sexual experience does not happen out of strong attraction, but out of curiosity or the insistence of a partner. This lack of libido in a woman can be observed before the appearance of orgasmic sensations. Primary frigidity can remain lifelong in cases of improper sexual education in childhood, too restrained character, rudeness of a sexual partner or rape;
• secondary – occurs gradually, suddenly, temporarily or permanently. How to determine frigidity of this type? Not that difficult. Often, a woman’s reluctance to have sex arises after the lack of orgasm due to insufficient potency or rudeness of her partner, as a kind of protection from further stronger disappointments. Lack of libido can also be a symptom of schizophrenia or other mental illnesses.

Secondary frigidity can also be partial when it develops as a result of mental or physical fatigue, long-term illness, or conflict situations. It usually goes away after rest, recovery and conflict resolution.

How to deal with frigidity

You can find out how to cure frigidity by contacting a sexologist. The main method is hypnosuggestive therapy, the essence of which is an explanation in an accessible form about the relationship between the sexes from a physiological and psychological point of view. Such therapy is effective in the case of improper sex education; during hypnotic sleep, psychological inhibition is removed.

How to deal with frigidity that arises against the background of anorgasmia? Psychoerotic training with the participation of both partners has a good effect here. The doctor first asks the patient about her erogenous zones, and then, during an individual conversation, indicates to the sexual partner the desirability of their stimulation.

The gynecologist-sexologist will also tell you how to cure frigidity with the help of vitamins, various medications and physiotherapeutic procedures. Vitamin E is important in the treatment of sexual dysfunction. You can also take multivitamin complexes (Dekamevit, Undevit), as well as drugs that stimulate the nervous system (tincture of Chinese schisandra, ginseng, eleutherococcus).

If a decrease or absence of libido is caused by endocrine diseases, sexual infantilism, or disruption of the menstrual cycle, the patient is given hormonal therapy according to an individual regimen.

Before turning to a specialist with a question about how to deal with frigidity, you should consider that the success of treatment also depends on your active participation.

frigidity

Risk factors

What to do if you don’t want further complications of frigidity, what should you do? In order for a person to fully develop, not only sexually, a healthy environment in relationships, in the family and good health is necessary. Unfortunately, these factors do not always add up together.

• If a partner had the imprudence to ridicule another or regularly insults him, this provokes the development of complexes and closedness. Which may well lead to frigidity in women.
• Also, if a partner forces another to have sex with him or her, the other will feel disgust at the mere thought of sexual intercourse.
• Chronic diseases that provoke disturbances in the functioning of the endocrine system can cause frigidity.

What is frigidity?

In the modern world, frigidity is not considered something out of the ordinary. Now men and women may not only suspect the presence of such a disease, but also try to fight it. According to sexologists, who treat this term very carefully, frigidity is a persistent decrease in sexual desire, or the absence of orgasmic sensations.

Frigidity in psychology

There are also psychological aspects to frigidity. The disease often indicates attempts to maintain control, which may occur due to a conflict of sexual preferences, or because of shame of one’s own erotic desires. In addition, a frigid girl may feel unattractive, even ugly, and thus wants to hide her own body from others. Perhaps giving up sexual gratification is the only thing she can manage in life.

The cause of the disease may also be that a woman considers sexual intercourse to be something shameful and even dirty, turning a woman into a prostitute. All these feelings are often formed in childhood under the influence of parents. Frigidity may occur if:

1. My mother was afraid of sex.
2. The father often insulted the mother.
3. There was resentment in intimate relationships.
4. As a child, I was taught that sex is bad.

Complications

Lack of sex life and fear of a partner and sex can lead to depression. A person is in a depressed state, completely at the mercy of his own illness. The absence of a partner leads to loneliness if the problem is not identified in time. This also negatively affects the human psyche.

Hormonal imbalance, which often accompanies the disease, can lead to:

• infertility;
• uterine fibroids;
• the formation of a malignant tumor;
• polycystic ovary syndrome.

You cannot take your own health lightly, even if there is no need to have a sexual partner. Problems associated with frigidity in women can seriously ruin life.

Causes of frigidity in women

What is the reason for a woman’s sexual coldness? The following are the main reasons for frigidity:

1. Hormonal factor
   - fluctuations in hormonal levels can significantly affect a woman’s life. If testosterone is not produced sufficiently, then sexual desire disappears.
2. Psychological
   – it may be based on unsuccessful previous experiences of sexual relations and hidden grievances against the current partner. In addition, violence can kill the desire for sex.
3. Physiological
   - female frigidity may be associated with anatomical features of the body that prevent sexual intercourse.

Preparing to visit the doctor

After the partner understands his problem, he has a question: how to get rid of frigidity? Specialists from JSC “Medicine” (clinic of Academician Roitberg) will help you understand your own problems.

Before visiting a sex psychologist, the patient can be examined by a gynecologist or urologist-andrologist. You should take a shower and don’t forget to bring a diaper and clean socks.

No special preparation is required for a meeting with a sexologist, except that you should be prepared to openly discuss your problems. JSC “Medicine” (academician Roitberg’s clinic) keeps data about each patient confidential.

Women can ask:

• sexual life in the postpartum period;
• lack of orgasm;
• changes in orientation in adulthood;
• Couples counseling is open.

Diagnosis of frigidity

In addition to establishing the fact of lack of desire, the presence of pain, and so on, it is necessary to diagnose the cause of frigidity. If a woman has discomfort in the organ area during sexual intercourse, she is examined by a gynecologist, who makes a final verdict on the presence of a disease or pathology.

The psychological problem is clarified with a psychologist or sexologist during a series of conversations. Often, frigidity is a consequence of a girl’s immaturity, that is, she has grown physically, but is not yet mentally ready for adult life. In this case, a psychologist works with her.

Who is a frigid person?

What does frigid mean? What does a frigid girl mean?

A person who has the following symptoms is considered frigid:

• hostility and negative attitude towards members of the opposite sex,
• fear of the act of intercourse,
• indifference to sex, absence of any emotions and pleasant sensations during sexual intercourse,
• painful sensations and unpleasant emotions during sexual intercourse,
• inability to experience orgasm during sexual intercourse, even if it is accompanied by arousal and any pleasant sensations (both emotional and physiological).

Frigidity and alibidemia : are they the same thing? In many ways, these concepts are similar, however, there are also differences.

For example, with alibidemia, a person completely lacks sexual desire, sex does not arouse any interest. In some cases, a short-term increase in libido is possible.

With frigidity , sexual desire may be present, however, the sexual act itself does not end with orgasm, as it should normally happen.

Treatment

After diagnosis, the patient is explained how to treat frigidity. The set of procedures depends on the identified cause of the disease.

Treatment of frigidity may consist of the entire complex or several points:

• hormone therapy;
• sessions with a psychologist;
• sessions with a sexologist in pairs or one at a time;
• taking drugs that increase libido;
• massage and aromatherapy.

Treatment of frigidity in women is often associated with the sensual sphere of relationships. The girl wants more attention, warmth, care, communication.

How to overcome: main directions of therapy

If a decrease in sexual desire occurs on an ongoing basis , appropriate measures must be taken.

There are several methods of therapy; the choice of one (or several) is made depending on the reasons that led to the development of the problem:

1. Treatment of the underlying pathology that caused the disorder of sexual desire.
2. Correction of drug treatment .
   If frigidity is a consequence of long-term use of certain medications, they must be discontinued or replaced with analogues.
3. Hormonal therapy. Patients are often prescribed medications based on estrogen, a female sex hormone (if it is deficient) or androgen, a male hormone (to normalize the activity of areas of the brain responsible for sexual arousal).
4. Taking medications that increase erection in men.
5. Sedatives and drugs , antidepressants for severe stress, tendency to depression, emotional overload.
6. Physiotherapy , for example, mineral baths, thalassotherapy, exercise therapy, methods that increase blood flow to the organs of the reproductive system.
7. Working with a psychologist to eliminate the psychological causes of the problem.

Why don't girls like me? You will find the answer in our article.

Home remedies

Herbal decoctions give positive results, but after a long period of treating frigidity.

Decoctions and tinctures:

• tincture of golden root is prescribed in a course of 1-3 months, taken 10-15 drops daily;
• Soak dried night violet herb in Cahors for 14 days, drink a tablespoon half an hour before meals;
• tincture of ginseng is sold in a pharmacy, use 20 drops per day, ginseng also increases the overall tone of the body;
• Decoctions of rose hips, chamomile and nettle will help stabilize the body's systems.

Myths and dangerous misconceptions in the treatment of frigidity

• True frigidity manifests itself as a complete lack of interest in sexual life. If a girl temporarily experiences inconvenience or is disappointed in her partner, this does not mean that she is frigid.
• Often, frigidity in men hides its “imaginary” manifestation in the form of psychological problems. They arise due to stress, shock, and psychological trauma. After working through them with a psychologist, the problems disappear.
• Also, frigidity in women is often resolved after a couple of conversations with a sexologist. The couple simply does not discuss their preferences.

Psychological aspects

Most often, it is psychological problems .

For women, in most cases, this is the first negative sexual experience when a girl experienced pain during intercourse or was subjected to violent acts.

In this case, for a long time she may experience not only fear of sexual intercourse itself, but also show a negative attitude towards men in other aspects of life.

Frequently, frigidity in women is temporary , which in most cases is associated with stress and constant fatigue, for example, after childbirth, when the need to constantly care for a newborn is accompanied not only by physical, but also by emotional fatigue.

Another common psychological problem is excessive complexion.

For example, if a girl in adolescence was constantly told that she was not beautiful enough , she did not have any relationships with peers of the opposite sex, this can lead to problems in adulthood, when the woman is sure that she is not attractive enough and cannot please men.

If we talk about psychological problems in men, then , which is most often associated with problems in the professional sphere, can be put at the forefront

A man is very susceptible to various kinds of failures at work; they give him a lot of anxiety , which negatively affects other aspects of his life, including his intimate life.

Prevention

To avoid frigidity in men, it is enough to monitor your psychological and physical health. At the first deviations, immediately visit a urologist, psychologist and sexologist.

You should talk with your partner about your intimate life, talk about your preferences, what is unpleasant, and build a trusting relationship.

Don’t force yourself to go to bed with your partner because “it’s the right thing to do.” No one will like this and will cause complete rejection of both the partner and sex.

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