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Ratmir Belov
Journalist-writer
The human mind can activate many defense mechanisms in an emergency situation. Their task is to enable the patient to survive in good mental and physical condition in very difficult conditions.
One such mechanism is Stockholm syndrome. What does this term mean? How does Stockholm syndrome manifest itself in relationships? How can one effectively help a victim?
What is Stockholm syndrome
Stockholm syndrome is a concept coined in 1973 by Swedish psychologist Nils Bejero. It defined the type of relationship in which the victim sympathized with his tormentor. It often happened that the victim defended his executioner before the court and even fell in love with him.
The term originally referred to fairly serious events such as kidnappings and involuntary detention. It is now also used against victims of domestic violence and mafia at work. People with Stockholm syndrome do not seem to notice that their tormentor is causing them pain. Instead of trying to resist it, they learn to act in ways that please. As a result, the abuser is less nervous and treats his victim more gently than when he resists.
Stockholm syndrome in relationships
Stockholm syndrome is associated with situations in which the victim of violence sympathizes with his perpetrator, most often defending him. This scenario can often be seen in toxic compounds. The weak side in this type of relationship depends almost entirely on the perpetrator who dominates it.
Who is a sociopath
Stockholm syndrome in relationships, despite appearances, is not uncommon. Often the victim of physical or psychological violence does not notice that the other person is simply hurting her. She downplays the problem by citing stress at work and home, a poor financial situation, or even taking the blame for the perpetrator's upset.
The factor determining the occurrence of Stockholm syndrome in relationships is the victim’s low self-esteem. It is precisely this lack of self-confidence that makes an abused person grateful to his abuser for staying with him. The victim feels that there is nothing they can do to improve the current state of affairs. She is convinced that she deserves nothing more than what she is getting now, so she silently accepts blows and harsh words.
Stockholm syndrome in relationships is very often associated with the displacement of unpleasant situations in favor of pleasant little things. The victim drowns out the memories of the grievances he suffered, exaggerating all the kind gestures and words of his tormentor. This, in turn, prevents her from seeing anything wrong with her partner's mistreatment.
Stockholm syndrome at work
Stockholm syndrome is a mental condition that manifests itself in sympathy for a tormentor, most often a toxic partner. However, the term also covers situations where a manager uses his position to intimidate an employee. The latter, in turn, wanting to avoid conflict, begins to justify the actions of his boss and consider them as something good.
Stockholm Syndrome is the conscious acceptance of mistreatment and the explanation of the boss's behavior, for example, for the good of the company. People suffering from executioner-victim syndrome often agree to much worse conditions than the rest of the crew. They often take on more responsibilities than they can handle and work in the form of unpaid overtime.
The paradox of perfectionism
It is also often observed that an initially toxic relationship between an employee and a manager eventually turns into Stockholm syndrome. This happens because the victim is afraid of confrontation, wants to avoid conflict, and therefore accepts more and more discomfort.
Stockholm syndrome most often affects people with low self-esteem. The belief that one lacks the qualifications and skills for the current job allows the victim to take the blame for the mistreatment. This mindset also makes a person afraid to quit their current job. She is convinced that her current job is the best she can do and that she will not find anything better. In this way, the victim gives quiet consent to cruel treatment, and the tormentor-boss skillfully takes advantage of this.
Of course, in situations of abuse or mobbing, the victim does not always develop Stockholm syndrome. Much depends on her current financial situation and her initial reaction to her boss's unfair treatment. It is also important to support relatives who, at the right time, will show the victim her mistakes and help in the fight against an unscrupulous employer.
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Once upon a time I came across an article entitled “A girl fell in love with her rapist.” The story told how a 13-year-old girl was raped by a guy who was pretty drunk. After what he did, he suddenly promised to marry her when she grew up. The girl's name was Nadya. After the rape, she did not tell her parents anything.
Nadya studied in the volleyball sports section and attended the camp in the summer. During one of the morning training sessions, she fainted and later doctors said that she was pregnant. She had to give up her career as an athlete because she gave birth to a child. After school, she had to work as a poster poster and leave the child to her parents.
Then many years later, when she got a job at a travel agency. One day, while in another country, she suddenly met her rapist in one of the shops and, after clarifying the relationship and telling about her son, agreed to marry him.
This story seemed very strange to everyone around; people did not understand how Nadya was able to forgive the abuse of herself.
Today I would like to shed light on this story from the point of view of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Who is this skin-visual girl and why did the victim fall in love with the rapist?
From the article, at least based on indirect evidence, we can conclude that Nadya was a real skin-visual girl. A developed skin vector can be evidenced by the fact that she chose a sports career for herself and even prepared for the Youth Olympics. It is people with the skin vector who most often strive for sports.
People with the skin vector usually have a beautiful body - this is facilitated by the ideal metabolism that is characteristic of them.
Their natural desire to always be first pushes them to choose an area of activity where they need to compete. They have a flexible body and the same psyche, which easily adapts to changes in the environment. Therefore, even the rape that happened to her could have happened for her without such harmful consequences as, for example, for a girl with an anal vector, who, due to her internal division of everything into “clean” and “dirty,” could consider herself defiled and “dirty.” "forever.
But it so happened that she became pregnant and this completely turned her life upside down, which means she forced her to give up the opportunity to continue studying and playing sports.
It is known from the article that for some reason Nadya, returning from training through an old construction site, suddenly allowed a tipsy group to approach her.
The girl was 13 years old at the time, and it was too early to say that she was fully aware of the recklessness of such an act.
They joked and flirted with her, and then she allowed one young man to walk her home. After which he dragged her into the ruins of a construction site and raped her.
A skin-visual woman is a special woman, and even if she is not yet a woman, but a girl of 12-14 years old, her pheromones could “blow off the head” of a rapist in no time. Perhaps she even flirted and flirted with a young guy, without thinking about what her innocent advances could lead to.
But then parental support at a difficult moment helped her get back on her feet.
Despite all the troubles, after the rape Nadya managed to realize herself in her career: she began working at a travel agency. There she was able to travel, thereby gaining the opportunity to change the picture before her eyes and give herself pleasure. And then, while traveling, one day she met him... Why does it happen that the victim loves the rapist? Let's find out below.
Why did Oslan rape Nadya?
As is known from system-vector psychology, only a man with an anal or muscular vector can rape a woman.
Anal-visual men, by their nature, due to the visual (cultural) limitation of the primary urges for sex and murder, cannot be as rude as, for example, an anal man without upper vectors. Therefore, they seduce their victims in every possible way. After all, they have not only an anal vector, which, under certain circumstances, makes an anal man experience physical attraction, but also a visual one, thanks to which they can love their “victim” with all their hearts and even promise to marry her.
We don’t fully know what happened in Nadya’s case.
The fact that Oslan has an anal and visual vector is also very eloquently evidenced by the further description of events.
When Nadezhda, as the best manager of a travel agency, went on vacation to Turkey, she unexpectedly met her rapist in the store. He sold sweets. She recognized him. This is how she recalled their meeting: “I looked into the market where they sold oriental sweets, and couldn’t believe my eyes: behind the window stood a moderately well-fed, short-cropped, bespectacled man - the same one who dishonored me at a construction site many years ago,” Nadezhda recalls. “I could barely restrain myself from hitting him in the face with my bag.”
There were many customers in the store, so Nadya did not sort things out in front of strangers.
The next day, Nadya returned to the store, but the rapist’s charm had done its job and she changed her mind about sorting things out.
This is what the heroine says about her feelings: “Oslan was sincere and romantic, missing male attention, I forgot why I actually came. The desire for revenge disappeared, giving way to sympathy.”
There could be several reasons for Nadya's sudden love. Firstly, this is the ability of a flexible skin mind to navigate circumstances and seek benefits for itself in the current situation. She realized that Oslan was a fairly wealthy man. After all, he has his own small house and family business in Turkey together with his sister. If a man earns well, then she and her son will always have the security that men have always given to a skin-visual woman.
Nadya lied about her desire for revenge. Skin-visual women do not know how to take revenge, because the feeling of revenge is characteristic only of people with an anal vector. It is they, thanks to a good memory, who can be offended for life and take revenge even after ten years. People with the skin vector have a “short memory”, so they are quick-witted and even when threatening to take revenge, they quickly cool down. But the situation when the victim falls in love with the rapist is quite real. After all, skin-visual women love it when their feelings are treated with trepidation and reciprocate the emotional connection. Anal-visual men really know how to be romantic and give beautiful courtship. With proper development, it is from them that the most caring sons and husbands grow up.
Sometimes the mistakes of youth remind an anal-visual man all his life. So it was with Oslan. He recalled with regret that he once ended up in Orel, and admitted that he had cruelly offended a girl when he was still living in Orel.
Only people with the anal vector can also remember their misdeeds for the rest of their lives. Feelings of guilt can haunt them throughout their lives. For an anal sufferer, the feeling of guilt is the opposite of the feeling of resentment. Resentment arises when a person with the anal vector was not given something, and a feeling of guilt arises from the fact that he did not give something to the person or committed a low act.
When Oslan remembered the incident in Orel, Nadya told him the whole truth about herself and her son. He was very glad that he had a son. He asked a lot of details about him, and then asked Nadya to marry him. And she agreed.
This story ended happily, but there is another scenario of development between the rapist and the victim. It happens when a skin-visual woman is killed by an anal-olfactory man. You can learn about why the executioner and the victim, through an unconscious conspiracy, go to meet a disastrous end at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
The article was written based on the training materials on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan
Author: Natalya Taralchuk
How to recognize
Stockholm syndrome is a form of defense mechanism designed to protect the victim from the aggression of the tormentor. This state of mind is activated in situations where escalation of conflict can lead to physical and psychological violence. Its purpose is to change the victim's approach to her executioner and act according to his instructions to prevent her from being harmed. But how do you know if you have Stockholm syndrome?
Stockholm syndrome occurs when the victim:
- does not consider the harm caused to her as suffering
- downplays the situation
- explains the actions of his tormentor
- does not accept any arguments or evidence that he is being mistreated
- reacts aggressively to any attempt at external intervention
- perceives any proposal to change the current state of affairs as a personal attack
- helps the criminal hide evidence of his “crime”, for example, using heavy makeup
- has similar views as his executioner on many key issues, such as religion or politics
- feels attached to this person, does not see a way out of this situation
- she is convinced that nothing better will come in her life than what she has now
- focuses mainly on her executioner's positive behavior, ignoring those in which she is injured
- does not run away from her tormentor, even if she has the opportunity to do so
How to stop being a victim
Stockholm syndrome. Paradoxes of the victim consciousness
The phenomenon, which was called the “Stockholm syndrome” in connection with the well-known events in Stockholm in August 1973, is indeed considered paradoxical, and the attachment that some hostages develop to their captors is irrational. What's really going on?
7 10164 October 14, 2013 at 04:02 Author of the publication: Pavel Golovash, lawyer
STOCKHOLM SYNDROME - a paradoxical reaction of affection and sympathy,
arising in the victim in relation to the aggressor.
The phenomenon that Swedish criminologist Nils Beyeroth, in connection with the well-known events in Stockholm in August 1973, called “Stockholm syndrome” is indeed considered paradoxical, and the attachment that some hostages develop to their captors is irrational. At first glance, this is so, because outwardly we observe a situation where a person becomes emotionally attached to someone whom (according to all the rules of common sense) he should hate. This is the so-called psychological paradox, which in fact is not such, but is a completely natural way of adapting to extreme conditions of people with a certain set of vectors. They will be discussed further after a short description of the events that gave the name “Stockholm syndrome” to this phenomenon.
Stockholm, 1973
On August 23, 1973, a certain Jan Olsson, a former prisoner, broke into the Kreditbanken bank in Stockholm with a weapon and took hostage the bank's employees - three women and a man, as well as one bank client. When two police officers tried to storm the bank, Olsson wounded one of them, and also took the second hostage, but soon released him along with the client. At Olsson's request, his cellmate friend Clark Olofsson was brought from prison to the bank premises.
Having put forward their demands to the authorities, Olsson and Olofsson locked themselves together with four prisoners in the bank's 3 x 14 m armored vault, where they were held for six days. These days were very difficult for the hostages. At first they were forced to stand with a noose around their necks, which choked them when they tried to sit up. The hostages did not eat for two days. Olsson constantly threatened to kill them.
But soon, to the surprise of the police, the hostages developed an incomprehensible attachment to the kidnappers. Captured bank manager Sven Sefström, after the release of the hostages, spoke of Olsson and Olofsson as very good people, and during the liberation he tried to protect them with everyone else. One of the hostages, Brigitte Lunberg, having the opportunity to escape from the captured building, chose to stay. Another hostage, Christina Enmark, told the police by phone on the fourth day that she wanted to leave with the kidnappers because they had become very close friends. Later, two women said that they voluntarily entered into intimate relationships with criminals, and after being released from captivity, they became engaged to them, without even waiting for them to leave prison (one of the girls was married and divorced her husband). Although this unusual relationship never developed further, Olofsson remained friends with the women and their families for a long time after his release from prison.
When considering this case from the point of view of system-vector psychology, the description of the appearance of the hostages immediately catches the eye:
— Brigita Lunberg is a spectacular blonde beauty;
— Christina Enmark is an energetic, cheerful brunette;
— Elizabeth Oldgren is a petite blonde, modest and shy;
— Sven Sefström is a bank manager, a confident, tall, handsome bachelor.
The first two girls, who, in fact, fell in love for a short time with their tormentors, are clearly owners of the visual-cutaneous bundle of vectors. The same can be said about bank manager Sven Sefström and, most likely, about a third employee, Elisabeth Oldgren.
The invaders Jan Ullson and Clark Olofsson are undoubtedly sound artists, as evidenced by their behavior during the capture, their biographies, and their appearance. Based on this, it is easy to understand why such a warm attitude between the captured and the invaders formed so quickly and was so strong. Sound and visual are vectors from the same quartel, like a patrix and a matrix, complementing each other, while the viewer is unconsciously drawn to a sound player of the same development as himself, like a “big brother” in the quartel. The sound artist hears at night when the viewer does not see - this is, figuratively speaking, the basis of their relationship.
A hostage with a visual vector (even a developed one) is capable of falling from severe stress into archetypal fear and, due to the equality of internal states, can unconsciously be drawn to a traumatized sound-psychopath. If the aggressor is a more developed, ideological sound artist, then the viewer, as it were, is pulled up to his level of development and at this level begins to interact with him (for example, adopting his ideas, considering them his own). For this reason, the most striking manifestations of Stockholm syndrome occur precisely during political terrorist attacks, which, as a rule, are not committed by anyone except ideological sound guys or psychopathic sound guys.
Moreover, this factor of vector complementarity, although it took place during the events in Stockholm, became only a catalyst, and not the main reason for the emerging sympathy of visual victims for their sound invaders. The main reason is the presence of cutaneous-visual ligaments of vectors in victims, which, as already mentioned, determines a certain way of their adaptation to super-stressful conditions - through the creation of an emotional connection.
Skin-visual woman
Women with the cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors in primitive times performed the specific role of daytime guards. They were the only women who went hunting with men. Their task was to notice the danger in time and warn others about it. Thus, frightened by a predator, the skin-visual woman experienced a strong fear of death and exuded fear pheromones. Unconsciously sensing this smell, her fellow tribesmen immediately fled. If she noticed the predator late, then, due to her strong smell, she was the first to fall into his paws. This is what happened during the hunt. And in a primitive cave, a flock in certain cases could sacrifice a skin-visual female.
As we know from system-vector psychology, early life scenarios are fundamental in our behavior. This means that they do not disappear anywhere during the development process, but become the basis for a new round of it. The visual vector in the face of the skin-visual woman also gradually developed from a state of fear to a state of love. In military and hunting campaigns, observing the injuries and deaths of men, she gradually learned to shift her oppressive fear for her own life onto them, turn it into compassion for the wounded and dead, and thus no longer feel fear, but compassion and love. At the same time, like any other woman (especially with a skin vector), she sought to receive protection and provision from men, in return giving them the opportunity to happen to herself. These two components formed the basis of what is called sex today, the creator of which is precisely the skin-visual woman. Sex differs from simple animal intercourse in the presence of an emotional connection between a man and a woman. In humans, unlike animals, it is accompanied by strong emotions.
In later historical times, when the specific role of daytime guards of the pack was no longer needed, skin-visual women continued to go to war with men as nurses, where they showed their ability to compassion to a much greater extent and without entering into intimate relations. communications to ensure your safety. On the contrary, in history there are many facts of self-sacrifice of such women, which indicates their much higher development in their visual vector compared to prehistoric skin-visual females. These women were already capable of not just an emotional connection, but also of high feelings, of love.
Development of the relationship between the skin-visual victim and the aggressor
Naturally, for any person, a sudden and real danger to his life is super stress. And superstress, as is known in system-vector psychology, can throw even a person who is maximally developed in his vectors into early archetypal programs, from where he will have to climb “up” again. This also applies to the skin and visual vectors.
In the skin vector, the first reaction to the appearance of people waving weapons is a strong loss of the sense of balance with the external environment, in the visual vector - wild fear for one’s own life. At this stage, the skin-visual woman is not capable of anything other than demonstrating submission and a huge release of fear pheromones into the air, which only enrages the aggressor and does not give the victim any special confidence in preserving her life.
But then the victim begins to unconsciously look for opportunities to come into some kind of balance with the external environment, and here she has nothing to rely on except her innate mental properties (vectors). She shows flexibility and adaptability in the skin vector, and also unconsciously builds a visual emotional connection with the aggressor, showing sympathy for him, while clinging to the most incredible and far-fetched confirmations that the aggressor is “good”, giving many rational explanations why this is so ( “he is tough, but fair”, “he fights for a just cause”, “life forced him to become like this”, etc.). At the same time, she seeks protection from him as a man. That is, it acts in accordance with the early scenario of the skin-visual female.
In unusual conditions, an unusual thought is formed, which ensures the desire to preserve oneself.
And even after the stressful situation has exhausted itself, these emotions remain, because they give the recent victim a feeling of visual joy, which she (unconsciously) does not want to exchange for hatred of the person who caused her so much trouble. Thus, even after many years, the criminal is remembered as a “good person.”
Other examples
On December 17, 1998, the Japanese Embassy in Peru was seized by terrorists during a reception to celebrate the birthday of the Emperor of Japan. Terrorists, representatives of the extremist organization “Tupac Amar Revolutionary Movement,” captured 500 high-ranking guests who arrived at the reception and demanded the release of about 500 of their supporters from prison.
Two weeks later, in order to facilitate control over the hostages, half of them were released. To everyone's surprise, the freed hostages began to make public statements that the terrorists were right and their demands were fair. Moreover, they said that, while in captivity, they not only sympathized with the terrorists, but hated and feared those who could storm the building. The sound Nestor Cartollini, the leader of the terrorists, was also spoken of very warmly. Canadian businessman Kieran Matkelf, after he was released, said that Cartollini is “a polite and educated person, dedicated to his work” (polite, educated - verbal keywords that give out Matkelf’s visual vector; dedicated to his work - skin keyword, naturally - what businessman does not have the skin vector?).
Another case occurred in Austria. A young girl, Natasha Maria Kampusch, was kidnapped in 1998 by a certain Wolfgang Priklopil, who put her in his basement and kept her there for 8 years. Having more than one opportunity to escape, she still chose to stay. Her first attempt to escape was successful. Priklopil, not wanting to go to prison for the crime he committed, committed suicide, and Natasha later spoke very warmly about him in numerous interviews, saying that he was very kind to her and she would pray for him.
Natasha did not dare to escape, because during the years of isolation, all the visual (emotional) and skin (masochistic) content of her vectors was concentrated on the only person with whom she was in contact.
Conclusion
Naturally, all the described mental processes are deeply unconscious. None of the victims understands the real motives of their own behavior; they implement their behavioral programs unconsciously, obeying action algorithms that suddenly arise from the depths of the subconscious. The natural inner desire of a person to feel safety and security tries to take its toll in any, even the most severe conditions, and uses any resources for this (including the one who creates these harsh conditions). He uses us without asking us anything and almost without coordinating this with our common sense. Needless to say, such unconscious behavior programs do not always work effectively in non-standard conditions, such as hostage-taking or kidnapping (as in the story of Natasha Kampusch, who lost 8 years of her life due to her inability to give up emotional attachment to his tormentor).
There are many known cases where hostages, being the first to see the police storming a building, warned the terrorists of the danger and even shielded them with their bodies. Often the terrorists hid among the hostages, and no one handed them over. Moreover, such dedication, as a rule, is one-sided: the invader, who in most cases does not have any developed visual vector, does not feel the same towards the captured, but simply uses him to achieve his goals.
Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova
Author of the publication: Pavel Golovash, lawyer
The article was written based on the materials of the training “System-vector psychology”
