Once upon a time there was a designer. And everything was good with him: straight arms, a Wacom tablet, and a design education. But he was only haunted by a misfortune - he was afraid to show his work to people, and especially to his boss. When he starts working on the next task, he is happy, bursting with ideas, and inspiration fills his designer soul. But the closer he gets to the deadline, the more and more he is overcome by sad thoughts, the more his hands shake and the less he likes his own work. Since ancient times, designers, like many creative individuals, have been afraid of criticism. This greatly ruins their life, because... limits imagination, reduces self-esteem and has a detrimental effect on initiative. But for a creative worker this is like death. Agree, it’s difficult to be creative when your imagination doesn’t work. Designers (especially young ones) are easily vulnerable people, often have a flexible psyche and are capable of ecstatic soaring in pink clouds and sharply falling into deep depression and apathy. Criticism of their work is one of the surest ways to plunge a designer into the abyss of despondency for a long time. Most often, such a reaction follows if the designer himself “deep in his soul” understands that his work is not a masterpiece, but is afraid to admit it to himself.
It is quite easy to determine that you have a fear of criticism. If you are shy at times, often nervous, hesitate when making decisions, easily agree with someone else's point of view, are unsure of your position and do not like to admit your mistakes, then you are probably susceptible to it. A lot of useful information about the fear of criticism (and about other fears too) is written in Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich,” I highly recommend it.
Where does this problem come from?
The fear of criticism is not unique to designers.
Don’t think that we are so special, fragile and vulnerable, and that all other people are insensitive idiots. This is wrong. The fear of criticism has deep roots. Since ancient times, people have united in groups with individuals similar to themselves and contrasted themselves with others - dissimilar ones. For centuries, those who think like everyone else, look like everyone else, and behave like everyone else have been considered respectable, correct members of society, while others have not. At one time it was customary to burn dissidents at the stake. Therefore, it is quite natural to fear that your actions, views, your work, or you personally will be criticized and opposed to the standards accepted by the majority. This sits deep in every person and affects his worldview. Another question is how useful this is for survival now, whether it is necessary to fight it, and how to do it. I'll tell you a story from my own past. My first job was a fairly large web studio for that time. All my colleagues were older and more experienced than me. And I behaved very modestly and was afraid to approach the art director again to ask a question. Naturally, I also rarely dared to express my opinion and propose ideas. They seemed stupid, banal and not worthy of attention to me.
As I was preparing to start a new job in a few years, I began to fear that I would find myself in a similar situation again. Despite the fact that I already had decent experience behind me, the habit of being afraid did not give me peace. So I went all-in and from the very first day I forced myself to say what I thought in a confident voice. Honestly, it was scary, but it had an effect! From a cabin boy, I unexpectedly turned into an experienced designer whose opinion is listened to. A start has been made. It became clear that the problem can be solved if it is solved.
Of course, it's still uncomfortable at times. Of course, there is still work to be done and even more than it seemed before. But I learned a lot from this story and made a few simple conclusions that I want to share with you.
Personal approach to the problem
It is not always possible to trace where fear originates, but, having found fertile soil, it begins to actively develop. It can be assumed that rejection or painful perception of criticism comes from ancient times, from those times when people united into clans and families. If a member of the commune did anything outside the bounds of generally accepted behavior, he was subject to expulsion.
How much not entirely deserved criticism do children receive from teachers, parents, and other adults? The younger generation often hears a lot of reproaches - “be like everyone else,” “don’t speak without asking,” “nobody asked you.” Growing up, the child, willy-nilly, begins to accept the rules of behavior imposed on him and then the fear of possible criticism appears. It kills personal initiative, limits imagination, deprives a person of individuality, destroys confidence at the root, bringing in its place indecision in further actions.
Self-improvement as a way to fight
The effects of fear of criticism on a person are terrible and sometimes irreversible. A person stops growing as a person, the phobia destroys the inner world step by step. You can change the situation if you start psychological work on yourself in time. It is worth considering a number of factors that directly or indirectly influence the development of a phobia:
- Shyness. It can manifest itself in a somewhat nervous state, awkward movements, shifting eyes and timid actions.
- Uncontrolled voice, unbalanced behavior, poor memory, poor posture.
- Inability to make decisions, formulate one’s thoughts, a manifestation of weak character. Complete agreement with someone else's opinion.
- The habit of saying clever expressions and words, while absolutely not knowing their true meaning. This is done in order to make the right impression on people. Development of an inferiority complex, imitation of other people in manners or style. Exaggeration of one's qualities, actions or self-esteem, which can initially be mistaken for self-confidence.
- The desire to acquire material wealth in order to once again emphasize one’s status. Extravagance turning into foppishness.
- Inability to use your natural capabilities for further growth. Fear of expressing your opinion. Lack of initiative, self-confidence and undertakings. The person begins to lie a lot and avoid direct questions in conversation.
- Complete lack of self-esteem. Repeatedly there is a desire to discuss someone behind his back. Reluctance to develop spiritually and physically, slow decision-making, fear of correcting mistakes. Things started are abandoned halfway.
- Constantly present feeling of guilt.
What do psychologists advise to do in such cases? First learn to accept any action unconditionally. There is always an opportunity to rethink, while making the right choice. And it’s better to approach a difficult situation with a fair amount of humor.
The idea of a positive inner attitude
A positive inner attitude includes many of the principles of a successful person. A positive internal position (PIP) is a confident and firm point of view towards oneself, which is created by the person himself and supported by his methods and methods. PVP is based on the individual’s willpower and personal motivation.
At its core, PVP can be classified as optimism rather than pragmatism. Moreover, both qualities are components of PVP. It can be interpreted as the absolute conviction that, no matter how the situation develops, it is possible to turn everything in a favorable direction. But you cannot assume that a positive result will appear on its own. PVP depends entirely on a person’s desire for excellence and desire to work on himself. Only then will you be able to create something worthy of your own and others’ attention. A positive position is based on constant faith in one’s own strength.
This is how PVP works in building confidence: when a person knows that there will be a successful outcome of his affairs, he receives additional energy to achieve the goal. Circumstances are under control. There is no fear, because a person clearly sees the meaning in his work and knows where it can lead. PVP will not be able to get rid of failures, but it will always show that you can always find a decent way out of any situation. A positive position does not require complete elimination of fear, but over time it will teach you to live in spite of fear.
When fighting phobias, you first need to rethink them. As soon as the realization comes that fear can be kept in check, a person will live as if there is no fear. Which, in turn, is overcoming fear.
Only those who perform fearless actions will be fearless. When there are too many doubts when starting a new business, it is better to start small. The first small victories will inspire you to take new, more serious steps.
Stages of Deliverance
For those who find it difficult to immediately adjust their inner positivity, it is worth starting with small, but more in-depth techniques. Often the reasons for fear of criticism and evaluation lie so deep that it will be difficult to get to them. But in the fight against phobias, sometimes there is no other way. Psychotherapists recommend the simplest, but at the same time very effective techniques:
- Forgive your parents. It is with them, those closest and dearest, that the emergence of the fear of criticism begins. From them a person receives most of all misunderstandings and constant evaluation.
- Accept yourself completely. Constant feelings of guilt and justification are only possible symptoms. The real reasons are deep inside. There is no point in making excuses to anyone, because a person is unique and individual. Accepting yourself with all your aspirations and desires is not easy, but this is the only chance to fight phobias.
- Set yourself up for success in any business and set goals. Sometimes you need to dream without limiting yourself in anything. It is in dreams that clues for self-realization lie. This or that thought may become key in subsequent development. Having decided on your dreams, you need to select the two most important and then turn them into goals. To turn dreams into goals, you need to set them out in detail, set deadlines for completion, and write down all the stages. Having set yourself up for success, you can begin to realize your goals.
- Turning weakness into strength. If you work with yourself correctly, you will very soon feel complete freedom from the fear of criticism and condemnation of others. You can strengthen your position by sharing your success with those who need it. Often, other people's experience turns out to be a serious motivation.
Where does overcoming fear begin? By admitting it to yourself. Surely fear is associated with those things that seem absolutely impossible, or fear torments those who are afraid of disgracing themselves in front of others. How many people are there who can simply and openly share, for example, their dreams? Not much, and the reason for this is fear of criticism. People are afraid that their desires, thoughts, points of view will be ridiculed and not taken seriously.
Helper Methods
There is an opinion that in order to get rid of a particular phobia, you need to put yourself in a frightening situation more often. In other words, knock out a wedge with a wedge. This may seem absurd, but the method really works. Let's apply the method to enissophobia. If you want to get rid of it as quickly as possible, you need to communicate openly with people more often, without fear of their opinions and criticism. Take comments and judgments for granted without panicking.
Relaxing procedures will not be superfluous. They should be alternated with moments of “immersion” in the phobia. The subconscious is a rather delicate area; in order not to cause harm, you need to interact with emerging situations extremely delicately and carefully. Each interaction with fear should gradually fade away, this is how correctly completed work on internal and external problems will manifest itself.
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So what to do?
Step 1. Admit that there is a problem.
– Hello, I’m Olya and I’m afraid of criticism. - Hi, Olya! As popular wisdom says, awareness of a problem is half of its solution.
Step 2. Believe that the problem can be solved.
You need to understand the main thing. Fear of criticism is just a state of our consciousness. Therefore, we can control it, fight it and direct it in the direction we need.
Step 3. Consciously deal with the problem
If we understand that fear lives in our heads, then it becomes clear how to deal with it. Globally, there are two methods: the first is to do as much as possible what is scary and over time the fear will decrease, the second is to analyze the situation itself that causes fear and try to change it (or change the attitude towards it).
Fight against drunkenness and fear!
Let's look at the third step in more detail. How can a designer reduce his fear and organize the process in such a way that the actual delivery situation becomes less stressful?
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Show your work in progress to as many people as possible.
Firstly, this way you will practice and over time you will be less afraid, and secondly, you will test your work on someone less scary than your boss. Use your colleagues for this. Look at their reaction. Ask them to criticize and honestly say what they don’t understand or what confuses them. Don't argue, don't immediately rush to justify your decisions. Thank them when they find mistakes or make comments and thereby motivate them to continue. Don't expect your co-workers to tell you in detail how to make the perfect design. Most likely, many statements will be very private and related to people's personal tastes. But the general nature of the comments and their focus will help you look at the layout with fresh eyes. Listen and analyze, compare the words with what you yourself think. Often people notice precisely those inconsistencies that you did not want to admit to yourself.
Treat showing your work as a way to test the solution, not as a judgment on you and your talent. Ask them to find mistakes and say what they don’t like. Strive to benefit from this procedure. Try to learn from everything. Treat everything as an experience from which you can draw conclusions and become better.
Show it to other designers
Yes, this is the worst thing, I know. That is why this is what needs to be done.
Get a boss on your team
Consult with your boss, show him intermediate versions of the work, and not just the final version. Firstly, one head is good, but two are better. The view will be more objective. Secondly, the boss will always see that you work hard and are interested in the result. Thirdly, it is possible that you misunderstood something at the very beginning, and, having seen your work at an early stage, your boss will be able to correct you. You will adjust the layout without wasting effort on drawing unnecessary details. It will be much easier for you psychologically to accept the adjustment at the initial stage, and not at the final version that is dear and close to your heart.
Don't consider your boss an enemy
Force yourself not to be afraid of your leader. Think rationally - why would he want to humiliate or insult you? He is not a villain, not a maniac or a petty official. He doesn't wish you harm, that's for sure. All he wants is for you to do your job well and contribute to the project.
Of course, there is a difference between leader and leader. Of course, there are tyrants and capricious tyrants who sputter and swear. In this case, remember, the leader is not a younger brother, you choose him yourself and can change him if you really want.
Keep the influence of personal taste to a minimum
Don't treat design like a work of art.
Ultimately, the design will be judged not on the principle of how beautiful the picture is, but on the effect it gives. Either it is easy and simple to use, or it is not. Either he performs the task well or poorly. For example, you are making a business card. The number one task of a business card is to show contacts and say whose they are, task number two is to be remembered. If the business card is beautiful, creative, original and memorable, but the phone number is written too small, without delimiters and is not readable, then the business card is bad. Or let's take a landing page. Its task is to force the visitor to write an email and click on the “Register” button. No matter how fashionable and beautiful it is, no matter what photographs and animation it contains, if the button is difficult to find (for example, it is located far “under the fold” or is located on a non-contrasting background) – the page is bad.
The fewer design decisions based solely on your personal taste and the more decisions based on the problem being solved, the more confident you will feel when showing it to your boss. The easier it will be for you to defend it and the more likely it is that the work will be accepted.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes
Don't worry about mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. It is very rare to get a perfect job in any field the first time. This is completely normal. The most important thing is not to do it perfectly, but to do it better every time, take more into account, rely on experience, learn and improve. If you grow and improve the quality of your work, you are a great designer. If you think, analyze and learn, you are every leader's dream.
“Only those who do nothing make no mistakes. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes - don’t be afraid to repeat mistakes.” Theodore Roosevelt
Review your old works. The fact that you may no longer like some of them is a good sign; it shows that you have grown up - an excellent reason to increase your self-esteem. And high self-esteem is the strongest weapon against the fear of criticism.
How to deal with the fear of criticism
Lack of initiative
Passivity in any new endeavors suggests that a person is simply afraid that he may be judged or criticized. For example, someone is going to learn to roller skate. However, one casually thrown phrase from relatives or friends like “Why do you need it?” or “You’ll look ridiculous!” can completely discourage you from doing something.
Shyness
Shyness, stiffness, tightness - all these are manifestations of the fear of criticism. Outwardly, this manifests itself in angular, constrained movements, avoidance of eye contact. Strangers, new surroundings, unexpected and non-standard situations, in general, any way out of your comfort zone is very difficult.
Inability to express one's opinion
Fear of criticism makes you agree almost everywhere and always with what others say or think. This is an option for an obedient child who sits and modestly waits for his parents to allow him to speak out or go play. When a person cannot indicate his position in a conversation, he is afraid of being judged or what may seem ridiculous, violating social norms.
Inability to say “no”
This is one of the most key points. Expressing your disagreement with the opinion of another person means defining your boundaries, establishing certain rules and principles of what is possible and what is not. Due to the fear of criticism, a person with weak boundaries will allow others to invade his personal zone, paying for it with his time, space, and emotions.
How to confront the fear of criticism?
Fear is always associated with a feeling of threat, as if someone might cause harm, physical or mental. The fear of criticism is no worse, since it is based on the fear of damage to the boundaries of one’s own personality. However, this threat is in most cases apparent.
The person who criticizes or condemns often has no intention of destroying the personality of the interlocutor. The first seeks to convey to him some information about what he did wrong or what caused a negative reaction.
Criticism should be perceived as feedback, and not as the interlocutor’s desire to humiliate or insult you. It contains valuable information about the needs and values of the interlocutor. The latter can often suggest an effective way to solve a problem or change your behavior in order to achieve your goal. In this case, he turns from an aggressive accuser into an assistant with whom you can cooperate.
Criticism will frighten anyone as long as he perceives it as something harmful that can destroy his personality. But as soon as he sees in it a tool for improving and teaching himself, then it will magically make his life calmer, and his relationships with people more comfortable and productive.
In this case, the critical person turns into a friend and helper, and not a strict and formidable parent, whose dissatisfied voice often continues to sound somewhere in the depths of the subconscious. Victory over the fear of criticism is akin to overcoming some internal barrier, behind which enormous opportunities and resources for growth and development open up.
