How to get your ex-girlfriend back and start all over again if there is another one


How to return your beloved woman - contrary to generally known ideas, returning your beloved half is possible, although it is quite a difficult matter. After all, the fair half is much more patient than men, as a result of which, when they decide to leave their partner, then, for the most part, their departure is the result of a well-thought-out and carefully weighed decision. Therefore, making them fall in love with you again will be much harder than the first time.

Among the elderly population there is an opinion that it is impossible to fool the heart of a stronger half who loves. But if there is a feeling that the chosen one has grown cold, then plunging into a depressive trance or plunging into a drunken state for a couple of days will still be a premature reaction. On the contrary, it is necessary to make every conceivable effort and unimaginable effort to return the former feelings.

Is it necessary to return the girl at all?

Despite the strength of the initial impulse, this desire may turn out to be a mistake. Most likely, you didn’t break up out of nowhere.

  • If it was an impulsive gesture on her or your part, everything is a little simpler; you can cool down and decide to return the relationship.
  • But if they broke up due to a serious conflict, the chances are slim.

You can always contact a specialist who will help you deal with this problem once and for all. On the website psy-chat.ru, they will select a trusted psychologist for you in 5 minutes and you can have a 20-minute consultation. It's absolutely free!

The main thing you need to realize is that you broke up when you noticed something in the girl that you are not ready to put up with, that you cannot stand in her. Or maybe she noticed something like that in you. This means that you will return not to the loved one with whom you were before this event, but to the person with whom you cannot be together - by your own decision. This is why stories about getting back with exes end in failure in most cases.

There is also a factor of distrust - you have already separated once, which means that someone (or both) will always be a little in limbo. Will this happen again? How much is your (or her) word worth? After the first breakup, it will be much easier to decide on a second one - due to nerves and mistrust.

Therefore, there are only two cases when it is really worth getting your ex back:

  • you broke up over an obvious trifle and you love this girl. Whoever initiated the breakup
  • you can't let her go the first time. The thought that you need to return everything haunts you, and you need a second visit to make sure that the person is not yours and you need to break up with him

Therefore, think several times before you decide to act in such a way that the girl wants to return. Read the article on how to win a woman once and for all.

How to get your beloved woman back - advice from a psychologist

To achieve the intended task, first of all, it is recommended to subordinate any of your actions to a cold mind, since emotionality is a woman’s prerogative. In addition, excessive emotionality is not the best adviser on the question of how to return the love of the woman you love. The next step on the path to the heart of your chosen one will be drawing up a clear action plan. In addition, in the battle for the revival of a friend’s former feelings, rash actions and expressions of fear, manifestations of hysterics and panic are unacceptable. After the emotions have cooled, it is necessary, in a quiet environment, to thoroughly think over all the actions you have taken and think over the words spoken in relation to your chosen one. What was wrong with them? After what actions did your beloved friend begin to treat you worse?

When a relationship breaks down, it is always a painful process that is equally painful for both partners. Many people believe that the female sex experiences a breakup or divorce much more difficult. However, this opinion is erroneous. It just so happens that the weaker half has the right to freely express their own emotional reactions. Everyone expects women to suffer and show violent emotions after a breakup. And a completely different reaction is expected from the stronger half. As a result, men are considered to be thick-skinned, incapable of strong feelings, and indifferent. But this is completely untrue. It’s just that men, due to their upbringing and the stereotypes of behavior imposed by society, behave much more restrained and cold-blooded. After all, real men don’t cry and don’t show their own weakness. Therefore, they have to restrain their own emotions, keep them locked away in the depths of their souls and experience everything inside themselves. As a result, many men cannot recover internally from a family breakup for a very long time; they are unable to forget their former life partner and try to find all possible means to get her back. However, this may not appear outwardly.

How to return a beloved woman, psychology states that it is important not only to return a runaway to the bosom of the family, but also to strengthen the relationship, make it long-lasting, trusting and strong. To do this, first of all, you need to call your partner for a frank conversation and listen carefully to her requests and complaints, find out what worries her. In this case, you need to pay attention to your own words, because a man’s words are very important for the other half, no less than his actions. One must always remember one axiom and not forget to put it into practice. And the axiom is this: ladies love with their ears, besides this, they initially fall in love not with the man himself, but with his attitude towards himself. Therefore, you need to look after your loved ones and give them compliments as often, sincerely and as variedly as possible.

You should also remember that even though you glue a broken bowl back together, the crack will remain. Therefore, you should not rewrite your love story again. It is necessary, if you want to know how to get your beloved woman back, psychology says that you should change yourself, in other words, you need to start the relationship from scratch.

Top 7 ways to get your girl back

I share behavioral strategies that will help you regain the love and interest of your ex-wife or girlfriend. Choose one or mix several, but don’t try to apply everything at once - this will cause confusion rather than a desire to restore the relationship.

  • Be honest. The best strategy if you are really worried. Come to her or call her, tell it like it is. Think about what you are willing to do to get this relationship back, and say that too. Talk as much as possible - women love to listen, and it is important for them to understand what is going on with you. But do not forget that everything said must be true. If you promise something, keep it. Think in advance what you want to say, what you are ready for, spend at least a few days searching for the right words.
  • Show how the breakup affected you. This is pressure for pity, but if you frame it correctly and show how you really regret the breakup and suffer from it, there is a high chance of melting her heart and trying to continue the relationship. To produce the desired effect, you look unimportant, speak feelingly, but inaudibly and inappropriately, giving the impression of a person who has lost the most important thing in life.
  • Return to her differently. Contrasting previous strategy. Wait some time (more than a week), and be calm and confident during the conversation. Tell her that she is very dear to you, and that you have weighed everything and know how to solve the problems that caused you to break up. Emphasize that it is more important than some life principles. Behave like a person who has changed or decided to change: try not to do what usually infuriated her, at least at the stage of the first conversation. The longer you hold out, the greater the chance that everything will work out.
  • Make them jealous, and then meet them halfway. Make sure she sees you in the company of another girl or even several. Come across as someone who is trying to move on from a breakup in the company of others. Don’t drag out this game: after just a few days or a week, you can come and say that no one has ever had or will have as good a time as she does. In this case, she may be bribed by knowledge of your experience - you really preferred her to other girls.
  • Get out of her life. Right there, as soon as we separated. Fully. Finally and irrevocably. Don’t get in touch, don’t write or call yourself, don’t answer her. Break off contact as much as possible, do not cross paths or interact at all. Do not let anyone hear news about you - as much as possible. The girl will start to get bored, your complete absence will be a shock for her, and she herself will try to win you back. By deciding to part as friends, you give her a chance to get used to your absence. At least as a young man. And in this situation, she will be so uncomfortable that she herself will take a step towards you, and this way you will force her to return.
  • Remind her of something good. Write that you remembered one of the pleasant moments in your relationship. Describe it in detail and in such a way that she feels how warmly you remember it and treat her.
  • Act like a friend. You probably still have something in common - friends, hobbies, maybe even things. Continue to communicate, but do not show her any signs of attention - deliberately maintain a friendly distance. And when she herself wants to break it, let her do it, agree that you would also like to return everything.

Some bad advice

Before considering the method of returning your beloved, you should dwell on the list of things that are contraindicated. Rather, you can resort to these tips if you want to get rid of a girl seriously and forever.

Call regularly, apologize, talk about love, send gifts

Just as the sight of a prey running away reflexively stimulates the male to catch up with her, so the sight of a man literally kneeling will make the girl want to run away and hide even more reliably. In the minds of any woman, a man is a strong, proud and determined being. Active imposition will look akin to humiliation, and this will neutralize all respect for the guy and further alienate his beloved from him.

Threaten with suicide

Unfortunately, this is also a very common method among weaklings. There is a high probability that they will not resort to carrying out their threat, but will only try to play on the girl’s pity or fear. It may work, but a normal relationship will not follow. Fear and pity are not associated with love. If the guy does this trick again the next time the girl tries to leave, it will no longer have any effect - immunity! Moreover, such a person will forever be labeled as mentally unstable.

Promise that everything will change

These promises don't work at all. Girls are not logical creatures, but emotional ones, and all attempts to convey to them the bright possibilities of changes in their future life will be in vain. They don’t need plans, but evidence at the level of sensations: to see, feel the difference, and then just believe the guy.

Drown out the melancholy with alcohol

Alcoholic drinks have a specific feature of intensifying current emotions. And if a person is sad, then against the background of general relaxation, sadness will manifest itself even more clearly. Moreover, what guy would want his ex to smugly watch how dependent he is on her that he sinks to the bottom like that?

Share your grief with friends

The sympathy of others will only cause additional pain and lower self-esteem. After all, when a person is pitied, he subconsciously feels like a loser. Moreover, when it is possible to return the girl back, society will reliably label the couple as dysfunctional, which cannot but affect future relationships.

What needs to be done to get it back

There is a simple action plan that will help you avoid being scammed. You are unlikely to get a girl back if she doesn't want it. But by following this plan, you will do everything right and get the best quality result.

  • Be alone. At least a couple of weeks. Bring your feelings and thoughts into relative order, get over the breakup, think about everything.
  • Give yourself some attention. Devote these two weeks or more to activities that bring you joy. Enjoy life and freedom, do what you love, remember how bachelors live and why this lifestyle is also good.
  • Think about the reasons for the breakup. Where there was incompatibility, where patience ran out, where there was no way out. If we are talking about a girl who left you, think about what finally brought her down.
  • Contact her if after the first three points the desire to return everything to normal has not disappeared. Show a positive and light attitude when calling or texting, and talk about serious things when you meet.
  • Keep your face up when meeting. Act like you're going out for coffee with a friend—even if it's hard. Don't create drama. Show her the guy she fell in love with, not the guy she broke up with.
  • Continue seeing each other if you haven’t changed your mind even after the meeting. Follow your feelings - do you really need to return everything, or is it an obsession with an idea, or a hunter's instinct.
  • Lay out all the cards after a few irregular meetings. Tell them that you went through a breakup, came to conclusions, changed and still want to be together. Convince that you are working on yourself, that you have heard her words and are ready to change.
  • Having received consent, start working on the relationship to avoid previous mistakes and not make new ones. Talk about what is happening, gently criticize each other, and be patient.

Intimate talk

Ask what caused the girl to have such a desire.
Often, partners try not to make comments to each other over trifles, but such discontent accumulates and can ultimately lead to a breakup. Who knows, maybe your lady friend is tired of seeing an open tube of toothpaste every morning, wiping the coffee mug off the coffee table, or listening to you sing the same song in the shower in an out of tune voice. At first glance, such things should not lead to separation, but if they cause irritation for months, eventually unpleasant emotions find an outlet in the form of a major quarrel and thoughts of ending the relationship. But it’s easy to find a way out of this situation - just get used to cleaning up after yourself and singing in the shower when you’re alone in the apartment. Of course, the reasons for leaving may be more serious. Perhaps your loved one wants you to be more responsible, more assertive, have an active lifestyle and love her cat. You should decide whether you are ready to change for the sake of a girl, or whether it will be more comfortable for you to find the one who needs you. If you choose the first option, tell your significant other about it, ask her to give you a chance, and fulfill your promise.

What to write to a girl to get her back

Before you sit down to write a message, find out what should not be in it:

  1. Outbursts of emotions and rudeness. You may actually hate your ex. But if you let her know about it and at the same time scold her somehow stronger, it is unlikely that she will ever want to talk to you again
  2. Spam. A constant stream of messages about everything. Feelings, weather, memories, thoughts, plans
  3. Drama-queen mode. Don’t write about the fact that she broke your heart, that you only experienced such pain as a child at the dentist, and now it’s a little worse, that you want to lose weight, that without her the world has become dim, and you have lost your zest for life. Don't humiliate yourself

If you still couldn’t resist and made some of these mistakes, write something like “Sorry, I wasn’t myself. In addition to the breakup, more troubles piled up, so I lost it. Good luck". Laconically ask for forgiveness and put an end to the correspondence with the last phrase.

It makes sense to wait about a month with the first message. By showing up early, you will be putting yourself in the weak position of pursuing the girl and giving her all the power to decide what to do with you and the relationship.

A month without communication will change your places:

  • it is she who will seek your attention,
  • worry why you don't respond to messages,
  • pursue and depend.

In addition, in a month you both will have time to cool down and understand a lot about each other and the relationship.

Remember a few rules of correspondence:

  1. Don't respond to messages immediately. Wait from 15 minutes to a couple of hours so as not to show that you are waiting for her answers.
  2. Answer concisely. Write something that will help continue the conversation, but avoid long texts about feelings, thoughts and events.
  3. The past is in the past. Don’t start a showdown about relationships, don’t ask if she has someone now, don’t touch on conflicting topics. Talk about what's relevant and what interests her. Be sincere.

Here are five examples of messages that are suitable for starting communication and fit into all the stated rules:

  • "Hello. I'm planning to go on vacation to Turkey, I remember that you know good places there. I would be very grateful if you recommend anything. Maybe we can meet for coffee for 10 minutes?”
  • "Hello. I'm starting to renovate a room and don't know what to do in the end. Can you help a little with ideas? You've always been great at designing interiors. We can discuss this over a cup of coffee, it won’t take much time.”
  • "Hello. Do you remember the name of the restaurant we went to around October? I want to go there with my friend, but I forgot the name and where it is. You would be very helpful"
  • “I recently saw kids at an amusement park and remembered how we squealed on the roller coaster. Hope you are fine"
  • “Remember when we went out for the first picnic that season? And a butterfly landed on your knee, and you got scared. I still laugh at this moment, it’s one of the warmest memories of the past year.”

Why did her feelings go away

It is worth understanding that such a serious decision as breaking up with a partner is not made overnight. Your beloved thought a lot before finally making a choice, which means you will have to prove to your significant other for a long time that you are ready to analyze your behavior and eliminate shortcomings, just to be close to her again.

READ How to return the feelings of a loved one after a breakup

First, you need to figure out why the girl lost her feelings. The main reasons are:

  • Excessive jealousy. There is nothing wrong with the fact that you are jealous of your beloved for a handsome guy who shows obvious signs of attention. But if jealousy reaches the point of absurdity, then it only pushes away. Nobody likes total control: reading SMS, requiring passwords from all social networks, listening to telephone conversations, regular video calls to check location, surveillance, constant interrogations.
  • Lack of common interests. Relationships cannot be sustained by sex alone. If you have nothing to talk about, nothing to discuss and nowhere to go together, then such love is doomed.
  • Poor financial situation or reluctance to spend money on entertainment. Not a single lady would agree to sit at home all the time, watch movies only on the Internet, walk in the rain or snow, or drive around in the car every evening. From time to time I want to go to the theater, to a concert of my favorite band, to a restaurant, karaoke.
  • Various companies. If during the entire time of communication you did not introduce your beloved to your friends and did not want to spend time with her company, then it is no wonder that she left. The conclusion that suggests itself: you did not consider her for a serious relationship.
  • Differences in outlook on life. You are for an open relationship, and your woman hoped for a future together, dreamed of a family and children. When her dreams were shattered, she packed her things and left for a more reliable guy.
  • Lack of attention. It’s hard to live with a man who doesn’t give compliments, doesn’t say nice words, or gives flowers.
  • Rudeness, rudeness . If you treated your beloved like a “doormat”, humiliated and insulted her, it is not surprising that she decided to break up with such a person.
  • Sexual incompatibility, harassment. If there was no intimacy between you yet, but you strongly insisted, this scared him away. When intimacy had already taken place, she might not have been satisfied with your sexual preferences, methods of contraception, lack of foreplay, or behavior in bed.

When the reason for leaving was something from this list, correct your behavior and attitude towards your beloved - and it will be possible to return her. But if the matter is a matter of betrayal or the woman simply fell out of love and found a more worthy person, then it is unlikely that actions on your part will correct the situation.

READ How to attract your husband's attention and strengthen your relationship

How to get a girl back if she has someone else

When your ex is no longer single, it may be more difficult to get her back.

  • If you broke up recently, then most likely she began dating someone in order to forget you and plunge into a new crush, instead of painfully going through the breakup.
  • If several months have already passed, then she could well come to her senses and consciously enter into another relationship - and then your chances are slim. Better register on the dating site EmilyDates and start a new relationship.

In such a situation, a man has two main levers: to prove better than his current partner and to remind him of how good it was together. You'll have to work hard on yourself and get rid of those habits that caused you to break up and that irritated her. It won’t hurt to find out what you might be better at than her new guy, what he might infuriate her in, so you can use this to your advantage.

  1. To begin with, shorten the distance a little, appear sporadically in her life without the slightest hint of courtship or signs of attention.
  2. Ask for advice, share news, take an interest in her life - unobtrusively.
  3. Don't bring up past relationships and don't try to seem like a threat to your current ones.
  4. Then close the distance further, become her friend and support, be perfect and do not pretend to be her lover.

At some point there will be a breakdown in her relationship, and out of weakness she will tell you about it. This is where you will pull out your trump cards: you will say that you have changed, rethought everything that happened between you, appreciate her no matter what and think that she deserves the best (try in advance and at this moment to demonstrate that the best is you).

Remind them of how good you had it together. Show and prove that you have changed and heard her. Most likely, she will become emotional, and you will be able to get her back.

Ways to get your girlfriend back from a distance

If your ex-girlfriend refuses to meet, then you should not continue to persuade her. This way you position yourself as a morally weak man, further irritating your chosen one. If it is not possible to return your beloved with words, then try to do it from a distance - this way you automatically eliminate the possibility of being branded a weakling. Send her flowers with a conciliatory letter or organize a flash mob with the participation of friends or classmates.

If positive emotions do not bring the desired result, then play a little on the negative ones. For example, take a lot of photos of yourself next to beautiful girls and post them on your social media page. Your ex-lover will definitely see them - and this will make her think about the opportunity to prove to you that she is the best.

Orthodox prayer

You can regain the trust of your beloved girl with the help of Orthodox prayer. You are allowed to pray to God, Jesus Christ or your Guardian Angel. There are many saints who help bring back loved ones. Let us give an example of a prayer to Saint Matrona, which is read in church, at home and on the street at any time of the day or night: “Holy Matronushka! I turn my prayers to you! Please, save my love, turn slave (name) back! Ask the Lord for blessings! I pray to you with words from my heart! With bow Matronushka to you, amen!”

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Plot to return the girl

If you don’t have the strength to wait a long time for the result, but you need to return your beloved girl urgently, then try to bewitch your chosen one with the help of magic. First, it is advisable to go to a fortune-telling session and see how the Universe feels about your relationship and whether magical intervention will help them. If permission is received, then we offer a strong ritual to attract a girl’s love with the help of candles and an apple.

Buy a fresh red apple, and on a piece of paper write in your own blood the name of the chosen one you want to return. Visualize her image as you write. Next, insert a note into the hole cut out in the ripe apple and say the words: “Just as the apple ruined Adam, so that the soul of the slave (the girl’s name) through the apple would fall in love with the slave (her name). Let it be so! Amen!". Bury the apple in a secluded place.

Love spell from a photo yourself

Try to win back your beloved girl by bewitching her to you using a photo. After all, a photograph is an imprint of a person’s aura, which contains a piece of the information field. Therefore, by influencing the aura, lost feelings are sometimes restored. Experts in the field of esotericism claim that visualization is important in magic. They advise you to carefully look at the image of your beloved, fixing it in your thoughts, and then clearly imagine a happy future together with your chosen one.

Take a photo of a girl and a church candle in your hands. Concentrate on your desire, and then move the photo with the image down over the flame with the following words: “As I, the servant of God (my name), yearn for the servant of God (the girl’s name), so let her yearn for me! Amen!" After this, burn the photograph in a candle flame and scatter the ashes to the wind. Instead of the word “yearns,” indicate any goal: loves, suffers, or is bored.

How to get back a girl you left behind

It’s easier for a girl who dumped you on her own to change her mind. If you were the initiator of the breakup, the power over the future of the relationship remains in your hands. The partner is afraid of this - she doesn’t like that they can control her, move her away and bring her closer at will. Therefore, either she, out of strong feelings, will strive to return the relationship, or she will resist this as much as possible.

Your strategy is to convince her that you are not as scoundrel as you seem. You need to convince the girl that she is safe - and this can be difficult. Even if she wants you back, she will still be afraid that you will decide to leave her again.

Approach carefully: find out how she feels, give her time to suffer and get angry with you. At this time, do not get in touch, then check her well-being and apologize as pompously and pompously as possible. It’s difficult for an abandoned girl to believe in her worth and in your desires - convince her of them. Gestures, help, expensive gifts or promises - whatever she perceives better.

In any case, you will always have the opportunity to choose the best dating site and register on it to meet the girl you like.

  1. Do you often feel the desire to get your ex back?
  2. Were you able to build a long-term relationship the second time around?
  3. Do you believe that you can find happiness twice with the same person?

How to get your feelings back: basic ways

If a girl stops loving you, then you can return her feelings with the help of the right behavior. After you have realized your mistakes and decided not to make them again in your relationship with your beloved, you need to again attract her attention, charm and win her over. For this:

  • look good - stylish things, beautifully styled hair, a pleasant perfume will do the trick;
  • invite her to where she dreams of going, don’t skimp on a ticket, when her favorite group comes, a film with her favorite actor comes out;
  • give compliments;
  • give gifts with meaning, beautiful bouquets of flowers, delicious sweets;
  • speak well of her family and friends;
  • find common hobbies or start sharing her interests, take up one hobby together;
  • show care, tenderness, attention;
  • listen, even if you are not interested, give good advice.

If you can attract your ex back to you and show her that your behavior has changed, then it is quite possible that she will become real.

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