“Deadly honey” – addiction to smartphones destroys the psyche of children

How dangerous is phone addiction for children?

Before talking about the harmful effects of gadgets on children, it should be noted that the indicators will differ for different age groups. Thus, pediatricians and child psychologists agree that for children under one and a half years old, the use of gadgets is strictly contraindicated. Leading pediatricians believe that parents should not give their children gadgets until at least 2 years of age. In fact, there are many problems with uncontrolled use of devices by children.

1. Delayed physical development. A smartphone or tablet itself is not dangerous, but an incorrect posture when watching cartoons leads to poor posture and problems with the musculoskeletal system. In addition, vision may deteriorate greatly and the child’s development may be delayed. Treatment of all these consequences is a very long and expensive process.
2. Sleep disturbance. Many parents do not monitor their child’s sleep patterns, especially when it comes to teenagers. Most children can use tablets and smartphones in the bedroom. Is it worth saying that active use of the device leads to chronic lack of sleep, the child wakes up irritated, which affects performance at school.
3. Mental problems. Both the content viewed, which is often not age-appropriate, and the interaction with the gadget itself can lead to mental disorders. Children, regardless of age, cannot independently determine the truthfulness and accuracy of the information they receive. This leads to cruelty, psychosis, anxiety and aggression.

It is difficult to get children addicted to smartphones and tablets outside. They get nervous if their parents try to take the device away from them. Such guys tend to be overweight or very obese. They often replace real life with virtual life, communicating with peers only on social networks and instant messengers.

How gadget addiction occurs

Every year the topic of children's addiction to gadgets becomes more and more relevant. Most experts agree that gadget addiction in children begins with parents replacing themselves with a gadget. That is, so that the child does not disturb adults, they give him a tablet, turn on cartoons and that’s all.

How can you find out the degree of dependence of a child on gadgets? First of all, this is neglect of communication with friends and family, irritability, sleep disorders, problems with studies. If this situation is not brought under control in a timely manner, then physical symptoms appear - dry eyes, back pain, headaches, digestive problems. And all these are just initial signs, which will then worsen. It is worth understanding that preventing the onset of addiction is much easier than dealing with this condition later.

How to understand that a child is addicted to a smartphone or tablet? A small test will help with this. You need to answer a series of questions honestly, awarding 1 point for each positive answer. The more points, the more severe the degree of dependence.

1. Can't spend even a day without a computer or smartphone.
2. When a teenager does not use a gadget, he becomes irritable.
3. A child cannot limit the time spent on a smartphone; he sits on it almost all day.
4. A teenager deceives his parents about how much time he spends on his phone or tablet.
5. Lessons and other important things are constantly postponed.
6. Parents are often required to install new versions of games or purchase new technical devices.
7. After spending time on a smartphone, the child has a headache or feels pain in the eyes.
8. The teenager prefers playing on the computer or smartphone to meeting with peers or going for a walk in the fresh air.

Surely, every parent will immediately notice that the child’s behavior has changed. Most often, unmotivated aggression occurs, especially when parents try to take away a mobile device.

He doesn't need anything other than a tablet.

To start, I asked Sam's parents to write down when tantrums occurred and to notice what happened immediately before them.
They soon noticed that problems arose in the same scenario: at dinner, before bed, and while doing homework, when Sam was forbidden to use the tablet. It also made them wonder how much time Sam spends in front of a screen. When I first asked them about it, my parents said that he spends about an hour and a half a day on the tablet. I also asked them to record how much time Sam actually used it, and they were very surprised to find that he spent up to four hours a day online. He turned on the tablet every day before school, immediately upon returning from school, then after dinner and before bed, and sometimes even more often on weekends.

During our conversations, they realized that Sam began to replace other favorite activities with his tablet: construction sets and playing outdoors. His parents constantly had to persuade him to put down the gadget and do something else. The house became a battlefield, with Sam often holed up in his room to play. His mother felt that he was moving away from her and his family, and she saw a change in his mood and emotional state.

What not to do to wean your child off the phone

Some parents see the only way out is to take away their child’s tablet or smartphone and prohibit them from going online. But this will only make the situation worse. The child will be very angry with you, and you will become an enemy in his eyes. As a result, contact between parents and children may be disrupted.

It is worth understanding that gadgets are an important component of modern life. Today, communication in courtyards has almost completely migrated to social networks. In this regard, most of the socialization of modern children and adolescents occurs through the Internet.

Taking away a gadget from a modern teenager is tantamount to locking him in an isolation cell. Few would disagree that this is a fairly severe punishment.

What to do if your child is addicted to the phone

The main thing to do now is to take control of the situation.

• That is, parents must understand that there is a problem and admit it.
• Next, you should set limits on the use of a smartphone, tablet or computer; for this purpose, time limits are introduced and the child is helped to comply with them.
• But we must remember that all the steps taken will be effective only if the parents themselves do not constantly use gadgets.
• It is also important to maintain contact with children, that is, scolding them in this case is useless, as this may lead to distance.

Set an example

If you yourself often surf the Internet, even if it is related to work, then a pedagogical fiasco awaits you. We need to show the child that you can live without gadgets, there are many interesting activities. After all, it is quite possible to do household chores, read and relax without a phone in your hands.

First, you need to encourage all family members to stop using smartphones while eating dinner or watching a movie. You can select a special box where all mobile devices will be stored. Time spent without smartphones will be useful not only for children, but also for adults.

Get involved in a common cause

A child of any age can be distracted from gadgets by inviting him to play together or read a book. Games can be anything - board games, role-playing games, verbal games or creative games. The main thing is to captivate the child. Any games develop creativity and logical thinking, they help train memory and attention.

In addition to games, you can do something creative. For example, elementary school children really enjoy wood bending. You can also sew a toy from scrap materials, make an applique, or make a bird feeder. All of these activities are very interesting and are sure to please the whole family.

Limit your phone time

It is necessary to clearly define the time when the child can use a smartphone, tablet or computer. For this purpose, you can use special programs with a “parental control” function that limit your online presence. You also need to determine a list of resources that the child can view.

You should agree with your teenager that during homework, as well as in the evening and at night, your mobile phone will be with you so that he will not be distracted.

Make your gadget useful

Tablets and computers can become both a dangerous toy if a child is too keen on them, and a tool for development, and a source of acquiring new knowledge. Parents should monitor what sites their child uses and adjust if necessary.

It is recommended to install useful programs and educational games on your smartphone. There are many websites that provide important information in a form that is accessible to children.

If we are talking about preschoolers and primary schoolchildren, then they should periodically include cartoons such as Fixiki and Smeshariki pin code. It is these cartoons that provide a lot of information in a child-friendly form.

Come up with an alternative activity

To distract your child from a tablet or smartphone, you need to come up with an alternative activity. As an option, buy your child a bicycle, roller skates or scooter and go outside more often. Most children love to ride bicycles and roller skates, completely forgetting about gadgets.

If the weather is bad, you can make pizza, bake cookies or a cake with your student. Cooking together takes not only girls, but also boys of different ages.

Get a pet

If you don't have a pet yet, now is the time to get one. It's no secret that all children dream of a dog, but an alternative could be a kitten, hamster, guinea pig or parrot. Some children enjoy watching the life of aquarium inhabitants. In this case, you can buy an aquarium, get fish and even a small turtle.

If we are talking about a puppy or kitten, then in the near future the child will have no time at all for gadgets, since he will constantly be fiddling with the pet. And other animals require care and attention, so it is logical that the child will spend less time on the Internet.

Enroll your child in the section

To distract your child from gadgets, it is recommended to enroll him in some section. Everything is simple here, the children themselves choose an activity they like, which they don’t mind spending time on. Parents just need to listen to what the child says. Even if you don’t like your chosen hobby and you think that solving Rubik’s cubes or puzzles is a useless activity, you need to give your children the opportunity to do what they want. The main thing is that the hobby is enjoyable.

If a child does not want to go to dance or karate, you should not force him. Perhaps he is more interested in drawing or modeling ships.

Teach Internet safety rules

Parents should be involved in their children's lives, including monitoring their online activities. It is very important that children follow safety rules when using the World Wide Web.

1. You cannot post personal information on social networks.
2. Care should be taken when designing a website. You cannot leave personal information there and use personal photographs.
3. You should be careful when opening any emails from unfamiliar addresses. If we are talking about threats or letters of a sexual nature, then you need to immediately notify your parents.
4. You cannot meet in real time with virtual acquaintances from social networks. If such a meeting is still brewing, then it should take place in a public place or in the presence of parents.
5. You should avoid communicating on the Internet about religious or sexual topics. These topics can pose a danger to children's psyche.
6. You cannot trust people who try to incite against family, friends or teachers on social networks.
7. To avoid online harassment, it is better to choose a gender-neutral nickname.
8. Never send your photos to online friends without parental consent.

Additionally, parents should always remind their children that the people they meet online may not be who they claim to be.

How to distract your child from the mobile phone and computer during the holidays

– My daughter prefers to sit at home on the computer rather than communicate with her peers. How to persuade a child?

– This is really a problem when children are accustomed to this way of life and enjoy communicating with the computer. And if mom suggests something else, then anxiety arises. The child thinks: “I don’t know how my relationship with the guys will develop, but with the computer it’s easy and simple.” The task of parents is to deal with this anxiety and try, together with their child, to draw positive pictures of communication with peers. But under no circumstances should you put pressure or create negative emotions.

– My son is 10 years old, we are trying to teach him to read. He doesn’t agree even on the tablet, to the point of hysterics. What to do, how to influence him?

– If the child is already 10, then the parents, of course, realized it too late; they should have started at three or four years old. But you can try at this age. The challenge here is how to turn on the child’s enjoyment of reading, and not force it under pressure.

We see a word, and in response to this, some kind of picture appears in a person’s head. When we teach a child to read, two important processes occur: on the one hand, it develops writing literacy, and secondly, the child begins to see his inner movie, becomes a spectator and participant in these events - he can be the cat Matroskin, D'Artagnan, Tom Sawyer . And if this happens, then it’s interesting for him to read.

How to achieve this? First, the mother can read to the small child and ask him to tell what is happening there. And discuss with him what he would do in the hero’s place, what he likes or doesn’t like? The mother tries to associate the child with these characters and include him in the events of the book. She can help him learn to visualize what he reads. The same can be done with teenagers.

– I don’t let my child play games on the phone at home at all. Only if we travel by public transport, for example. How much time can children spend on a gadget?

– For 10-12 year olds, it is recommended no more than one and a half hours on weekends. On weekdays even less. When children are very young, at five or six years old, 15-30 minutes a day. We understand why a child develops addiction over time - it all starts when the child is very young. His parents let him watch cartoons on the gadget, while they themselves try to feed him or do household chores. This is all a consequence of the fact that parents are minimally involved in communication with the child.

Next, we must remember that if we forbid children something, then we must offer them something in return. The child should have some kind of alternative, some events in life from which he gets joy, and not just games on the phone.

– I recently took my 9-year-old daughter’s phone and saw photographs of half-naked bodies. I raised this topic, the child got scared and said: “I’m just curious.” I don't know how to react.

– This is not so much a question of parental control as a question of trust between the child and parents. You need to find some favorable situations when you see that the child is already interested, and start talking to him about these topics at a level accessible to him. Call a spade a spade. When he is prepared and informed, these fears will not exist.

– I constantly hear about how children are lured into dangerous groups on social networks. How to keep them safe? Especially teenagers, whose phone you can’t take away like with kids.

– This is again a question of trust between children and parents. If a child knows that it is safe for him to share events happening in his life with his parents, and the parent shows sincere interest - but not a position of control and desire to prohibit or take away - then against the background of such contact the parent can explain what everything can look like on the Internet not as it seems at first glance. That behind a pleasant avatar there may be a criminal hiding, some kind of danger, that people’s goals are not always noble. You can talk to him about some things related to safety: you don’t need to give information about yourself and your family in public places, you don’t need to agree to meetings, especially meetings that your parents don’t know about.

– How to make spending time on a gadget useful for a child?

– There are a lot of useful and educational things on the Internet. The child needs to be explained that, in addition to games, you can also learn something and develop your skills. You can learn to draw or listen to music. But there are very few children who are so passionate about something that they themselves will look for it on the Internet, so the task of the parents is to find and offer it to the child.

Let me emphasize such an important thing - a child simply needs to be successful. If he is not successful in real life, he will look for success, for example, in games, where it is easier to get: you have completed the level, and you are already a hero and a winner. He needs to be a winner in real life, not virtual, he needs confirmation of his achievements and recognition in the real world - among his peers, and, of course, in his family.

How to minimize harm from a smartphone

There are several ways to reduce the risks of using mobile devices. General recommendations are:

• You should find a smartphone that fits your size. It should be comfortable to touch the screen from different sides with your thumb and forefinger. A large screen is not a sign of a good phone;
• It is better to type text with your index finger, changing hands from time to time. This will prevent pain in your hands;
• When using a smartphone, you should try to sit upright. You should not keep your mobile phone on your lap or below chest level; it is better to raise it to eye level. This will help avoid back and neck pain;
• If you have to sit at a tablet or smartphone for a long time, then periodically you need to take breaks and do simple physical exercises.

When talking, the smartphone should be kept at a distance of 2 cm from the ear, in this case the negative impact of technology on the body is reduced.

Experts say that advances in technology come at a price. This means that a small mobile phone can have a big impact on the user's health.

Tatiana

I follow news on the mobile services market. Always up to date with the latest events

Ask a Question

Question to the expert

My son is almost a year and a half old and he really loves watching cartoons on his tablet. Tell me, how much time at this age can a child spend watching a gadget?

At this age, experts generally do not recommend giving children smartphones and tablets; it is better to turn on cartoons on a large TV screen. But if there is no alternative, then a one and a half year old baby can watch cartoons for no more than 15-20 minutes.

How to distract a teenager from a smartphone? This is just a nightmare, he sits all day, does not respond to any requests, does not walk on the street at all.

You need to agree with your child what time he will play on his smartphone and when he will do other things. You can get a teenager interested in something, like buying a dog or the hoverboard he dreams of.

What characteristics should you pay attention to when choosing a smartphone for a student?

First of all, the mobile device must be small in size so that it is comfortable to hold in your hand. Next you need to pay attention to the screen resolution and memory capacity. Before purchasing, you should read reviews about the selected model on the Internet, on social networks and on forums.

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Tatiana

I follow news on the mobile services market. Always up to date with the latest events

What should those diagnosed with nomophobia do?

If you discover signs of nomophobia, you can help yourself by doing a number of simple steps. First you need to understand the scale of the problem. Try noticing for a few days whether you experience any of the following:

• did you spend significantly more time on your phone than you originally planned? • have you recorded “bargaining in your head” when part of you says that it’s time to finish, and the second persuades you to “just a little more” and in the end you give up? • have you made the same planning mistake, knowing that you need to sleep/do business/listen carefully to your interlocutor, and still picked up the phone, ultimately getting unpleasant consequences? • have you checked notifications on your phone without thinking about it, without setting such a goal for yourself?

It is important to note these manifestations for yourself every day and preferably in writing. A regular diary will come to your aid, where you can write short notes by hand. This will help you evaluate how dependent you are on the device and not deceive yourself.

Next, start implementing restrictions on phone use. For example, the morning schedule may include hygiene procedures, breakfast/coffee. You pick up your phone only 10-15 minutes after getting up. The same procedure applies in the evening.

Turn off unnecessary notifications, sounds, notifications that you have received a message, clear the Internet space of unnecessary information. It is very important to record the moments when and in what cases anxiety manifests itself, and ask yourself, “what exactly am I afraid of now?”

“You may find that it’s not the lack of a phone that scares you, but, for example, the possibility of missing an important message at work or quarreling with someone. With these fears, you can turn to a psychologist who will help you unwind the thread of the tangle of your problems and deal with them more productively,” suggests Shibankova.