How a girl can get out of the friend zone and into a relationship: TOP 10 ways

How to get out of the friend zone and start dating. Top 10 ways for girls

It's still not very common for women to find a way to get out of the friend zone from a man they like. And that's good news; The bad thing is that due to the freshness of such a problem, it is difficult to find a way to solve it.

However, there are at least ten steps you can take to change your relationship status. All of them are aimed at making the young man discern the girl behind the image of “his boyfriend” with whom he is accustomed to communicate in your person.

Don't talk to him about other girls. Avoid this topic, otherwise you will never become one of them and will remain in the role of a crying vest and a friendly shoulder.
Look sexy. Get a fashionable hairstyle, wear moderate makeup, change jeans and T-shirts to dresses.
Flirt and be flirty. This not only piques his interest, but also shows yours.
Spend time alone and show him that you are great. It doesn’t have to be positioned as a date—friends can spend time with each other. Let it be a wonderful time that he will remember and want to repeat.
Be more confident in yourself. Don’t cling to him too much, don’t seek constant approval, don’t make him the center of your life, don’t be shy. The freer you feel, the more attractive you look.
Periodically say “if only I had a boyfriend...” in front of him. Continue the phrase with something enticing - for example, a promise to cook amazing breakfasts in the morning. It’s easier for him to want something that he’s learned about, including breakfast.
Meet others. He shouldn't think that your whole life revolves around him. A little jealousy will make you more desirable, as will the knowledge that you are popular and have no shortage of fans.
Don't burden him with your problems and don't ask for constant advice. Few people like whiners, and endless questions will give you away.
Support. By chance or when he needs to speak out or get advice. Support is one of the important factors of intimacy, and we let people who provide it into a closer circle of friends.
Talk about your feelings. If you have completed all the previous steps, but have not received results, act in the most direct way. Confess your love to a man and look at the result. When a person has already warmed up to you, this can be a decisive moment that will help them make a choice in your favor.

How can a girl get out of the friend zone?

There is a lot of advice on how to get out of the friend zone. First, decide on a strategy. There are 2 of them:

Be understanding

Don't try to show yourself to be better than you are. Remember that a guy doesn’t need a superwoman next to him, but a girl who will provide support in a difficult situation. Be willing to listen if necessary. Say kind words, but don't overdo it. You should not give compliments every minute, otherwise in the eyes of a man your personality will simply depreciate.

Psychologists recommend not being in love, but being polite. And if you do give a compliment, don’t dwell on it, but quickly change the subject.

Don't be a sticky fish

To put it simply, don’t force yourself. You shouldn’t write hundreds of SMS messages or call several times a day. Write once and that's it. Let the young man answer of his own free will, and not out of politeness or anger. Give him the opportunity to miss you.

It is not recommended to constantly remind you of your feelings and intentions. Surely he, like many other men, will be scared if he finds out that you want to start a family with him and have already come up with names for your children.

Disappear for a couple of days. And then suddenly appear and offer to meet. If during your absence the guy does not take the initiative and does not contact you first, do not be upset. This means that he is simply not interested in you, and all his excuses are just politeness. Don't get hysterical, maintain your self-respect.

Don't become a clown

Some girls are ready to do anything to ensure that the object of their adoration always smiles. But often it looks ridiculous. Laughing at yourself is good. But don't start a circus. A couple of harmless jokes is enough. Don't humiliate yourself.

Respect yourself

Another way for a girl to get out of the friend zone. It happens that a girl, being in love, turns a blind eye to all the guy’s shortcomings. She readily pays his bill at a restaurant, forgives rudeness and offensive remarks addressed to her, and does everything to win him over. And men take advantage of this. If this is the case in your case, it is unlikely that he wants a relationship with you. This is one important point.

The second thing you should pay attention to is intimate relationships or, as they say now, sex for friendship. On the one hand, the desire to rest, relax and have fun is more than natural. On the other hand, wasting your time on short-term pleasure means not respecting yourself. Remember, if after a refusal a guy breaks off all contacts with you, he has no serious intentions towards you.

Disappear from time to time

You have created a kind of comfort zone around your chosen one. It’s convenient for him: you will listen, support, and cheer him up. Break this circle. Just disappear, reduce the time you are in his life. Try not answering calls and messages. Or reply later, saying you were busy. You will be surprised how many other men there are around you.

Give reasons for jealousy

Take a neutral position towards the guy. No, you shouldn’t show indifference here and there. Just be discreet. Try to imagine that you have absolutely no feelings for this guy. He's just a good conversationalist and nothing more.

Also reduce the number of meetings. But keep showing up in the general company. Being in love is not a reason to stop communicating with other men. If suddenly a young man makes a remark to you about this, remind him that you talked about your feelings, and he ignored them.

If your chosen one starts complaining about his ex or current girlfriends, do the same. Tell him about the men you communicate with. And even more - say that you have a crush on someone.

Take care of yourself

What is a friend zone

The friend zone is the same situation when one wants a relationship, and the other refuses to provide it. It is from this imbalance and inequality that one can understand what the friend zone is in a relationship. This is its main difference from ordinary friendship, which distinguishes it as a separate type of interaction and gives it its own characteristic coloring.

In friendship, you are in an equal position , and no one has additional unrealized claims. This is a healthier relationship because no one is dependent on anyone and no one is manipulating anyone. In the case of the friend zone, there is always a “plus” who refuses a relationship, and a “minus” who seeks it. The first position is profitable and comfortable, while the second remains eternally dissatisfied and seeks more.

Living with a constant eye on another and with a need that is not satisfied is incredibly difficult, so psychologists advise not to linger at this point and one way or another to get out of the friend zone. It causes the “minus” a lot of suffering and does not allow him to live life to the fullest. In addition, the longer the “minus” tries, the less chance he has of getting what he wants.

There are two ways out: either break off the relationship with the person, or transfer it to another level - which is often difficult, but generally feasible.

How to understand that you are in his friend zone: 10 signs

In relationships, it is sometimes difficult to determine the format. If you doubt what is happening, do not know what the male friend zone means, what it looks like and how to define it, check the list of its markers.

He does not see you alone or does so rarely and does not seek one-on-one meetings.
He shares personal things with you and is not shy about discussing other girls and relationships with them.
He's genuinely interested in your personal life the way a girlfriend might be, and tries to introduce you to his friends if you don't have anyone.
He doesn't do anything romantic.
He does not try to get closer and keeps the relationship at an established distance.
When he shows care, helps or supports, he acts the way your mother, friend or brother might.
He says “you’re like a sister to me,” “you’re a great friend,” or “I wish I had a girl like you.”
He is confused by attempts to add more physical contact and does not respond to them.
He doesn't flirt.
If he asks for your help, it never turns out to be romantic.

How to get a girl out of the friend zone

Guys friendzone girls much less often, but it does happen. For girls, the peculiarity here is that men more often send girls not to the friend zone, calling it friendship, but assign them the status of “intimate only.”

What is a friend zone? The first sign that a guy is friendzoning you is ignoring you. The guy tries to avoid any conversations and offers to meet, he does not invite you to go for a walk and he himself is more likely to find a reason to refuse to go with you. The second sign is that he will not tell anyone about you, say that you are communicating. Third - the guy doesn’t write to you first. Not because there is not enough time - often there is simply no motivation, no desire to spend money on relationships when he is not at all interested in them. The fourth sign is that you will have to pay at the movies and restaurants yourself. Or maybe even pay for a guy, because when he agreed to go for a walk with you, which happens so rarely that, most likely, you dragged him in, and he does not feel any responsibility or desire to be a gentleman.

It is believed that the peculiarity of the friend zone for girls is the sad fact that it is almost impossible to leave. Unlike the situation when a girl friendzonizes a guy, there are still ways out - to show your courage, to win the girl’s heart with warmth and affection. The advice for most cases is to just forget about this guy and stop trying to communicate. Of course, here we are not considering the genuine, undeniably existing friendship between a girl and a guy.

What other recommendations could there be? There is no need to impose, write hourly how much you miss him and want to see him. The guy should miss you, if this does not happen, you will simply become even more uninteresting to him. If you literally bombard him with messages, he will most likely simply stop responding to them. It’s better if you write one message; sooner or later he will read and answer it, but he will answer because he wants it, but not out of compulsion. Never write to a guy that you want a serious relationship with him, a family, children, how you have made plans for your whole life with him - this will scare him and turn him away. Yes, this may also change for you, because life changes very much, tomorrow he may become completely uninteresting to you.

The second step to success with a guy is to understand that men also love attention. Yes, most magazines say that you should be as cold as ice, but guys still love it when people sometimes say nice things to them, don’t forget to please him sometimes. The key word is sometimes. Tell him once how good he was or did a great job. There is no need to say every minute how great, cool and handsome he is - the guy will simply devalue you against the backdrop of his enormously increased self-esteem.

And the main recommendation for girls who find themselves in the friend zone is to take care of themselves. Girls tend to strive for relationships, because they are valuable to them in themselves, and find the first person they come across for such a desired relationship, without noticing the real situation, endowing the guy with far-fetched high qualities. Look critically at the situation and transfer the attention that you have shifted to the guy to yourself. Love yourself, improve, become the one that guys will court themselves, the girl who will no longer end up in the friend zone.

Why did I end up in the friend zone?

Understanding why a guy friendzones you can often be very difficult. There can be many reasons, and this situation cannot always be explained at all.

But I will give you the 10 most common ones:

When you met, he had a girlfriend.
He knows your boyfriend or ex.
He is moving away from past relationships and does not look at girls as partners.
You met in a big company.
He treated you like a friend right away.
When he wanted to date you, you were not alone. Now his feelings have exhausted themselves.
He sees some trait in you that he is not ready to see in his girlfriend.
He likes your girlfriend.
He is not looking for a relationship at this moment.
He is afraid of losing you if your relationship doesn't work out.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

There is no single formula or universal strategy that, following it, would explain how to avoid falling into the friend zone.

Every relationship, whether friendly or romantic, is somehow different and unique. You can follow a few rules, but applying them without adapting them to your own story may not help.

Be romantic.
Flirt, flirt, and leave things unsaid, even if your relationship is not yet romantic.
Surprise and act unexpectedly.
Meet not only in company, but also in private.
Do something with a hint of romance yourself: less obvious than a candlelit date, but brighter than buying a glass of coffee. A small but thoughtful gift will do.
Take care of your appearance.
Ask what kind of girls he likes, what he values in women.
Don't give too much if he's looking for interaction - be it physical contact, time together, or communication. This will help maintain interest and motivate you to take further steps towards the relationship.
Show interest: in his activities or hobbies. Ask him to teach you something simple that he can do.
Promote yourself. Unobtrusively. Demonstrate the advantages, but easily - treat him to a dish of your own making, boast about your work achievements, systematically show your taste in clothes and style with your own appearance.

How to get into it: don't do it

Don't share too much: Don't share everything about your life.
Do not exploit the young man as an assistant in household chores and other everyday matters.
Don't define him solely as the first one's friend.
Don't let them talk about other girls.
Don't talk about young people.
Don't shorten the distance too quickly.
Do not do what is customary to do in a relationship until it is established as a romantic one.
Don't get close to his friends.
Don't behave like a friend, leave more space for imagination and maneuver.
Don't introduce him to your friends until you start dating.

How to avoid being friendzoned by a girl

To avoid getting into the friend zone from the first meeting, follow the instructions:

Be strong and confident.
Demonstrate to her in every possible way that you are in demand.
Be a little brutal, but don't show off.
Don't make fun of yourself.
Show your unavailability.
Don't talk about her exes and don't have any heart-to-heart conversations.
Flirt with the girl constantly.

In the video, the author will tell you in detail how to avoid the friend zone and get out of it if you find yourself in the ranks of friends:

How to understand that you have left the friend zone

We’ve figured out how you can get out of a guy’s friend zone. How do you understand that everything went well and you are no longer a friend? It’s worth remembering here that there is more than one way out of the friend zone . The main parameter is that your relationship has changed, and these are tangible changes. Another question is how exactly they changed.

Perhaps you have begun to pay significantly less attention to the man - this means that you are leaving the friend zone voluntarily, having decided that this format of relationship is too painful, and the chosen one is not worth the effort and changes. Fully leaving such a toxic relationship takes time , but starting it is the hardest part, so you are on the right path, even if things look confusing right now. Such an ending does not always mean that you will never cross paths again or say a word to each other.

By the way, the situation may change: later he will begin to show sympathy for you, or you will have a young man, and interaction with that man on a friendly level will no longer be painful. It all depends on the feelings of both participants at the next contact, if any.

Perhaps you achieved what you wanted, and the man felt attracted to you. This is easy to notice by the change in his behavior: he seeks your company, tries to please, takes the initiative into his own hands and does something romantic.

Guys don't know how to pretend, so you can easily understand that a guy likes you, you just need to notice it. Even if you have not yet decided that you are dating, at this moment you can already celebrate your victory. By the fact that a man begins to treat you differently, you can unmistakably recognize the transition of a relationship from friendly to romantic.

Another option is that your relationship has cooled down, but you have not stopped communicating. Now you are not a friend, but a buddy - and this is also a way out of the friend zone . If you perceive the person more coldly and no longer claim what he refuses to give you, you have also succeeded. And there is nothing wrong with this option: you saw that there is something to value a person for, and you did not forget about your own value. In some cases, such a turn of events even helps the chosen one look at you with fresh eyes and unexpectedly notice a beautiful girl, but you should not count on this option. Honesty both to yourself and to the man is the main trump card of this strategy.

When to Back Off and Find a New Guy

Efforts to get out of the friend zone do not always lead to positive results - and this is worth keeping in mind. If you forget about this factor, you risk spending a lot of time and effort on someone else's life instead of your own, trying to please a person who has not paid enough attention to you. Instead, go to the dating site Badoo and look for a partner of your choice.

The longer you know a person as a friend, the more difficult it will be to move the relationship to a romantic level - after all, he is used to seeing you in a different role. In addition, if for a long time you have satisfied him in this particular role, he has no motivation to change anything, he will have to be provoked and motivated.

As soon as you feel that you are putting too much energy into this task or straying too far from your comfort levels, it’s time to consider whether the game is worth the candle. Do you really want to change your appearance and style, habits and views for the sake of the attention of the guy you like? Think carefully, because there are many people around who will like you without all these changes.

Long unsuccessful attempts also lead to failure. If you’ve been trying to get a person’s attention for several months now, but he doesn’t give it despite your efforts, give up this idea. Don't think that he doesn't see your exploits. Most likely, he simply doesn’t care about them. With indifference comes pity and discomfort - he feels pressure and therefore perceives you less and less as a potential girlfriend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone? Common mistakes

A girl who behaves like a guy is of little interest to the opposite sex. If you like to drink beer with the boys, listen to or tell dirty jokes, make jokes below the belt, watch football, then don’t be surprised that you will be treated accordingly - like a shirtless guy. It is very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to discern a “lady girl” in a “tomboy”. Urgently stop being “on the board”, take off your plaid shirt and grow romantic curls, otherwise you will never see your betrothed, like our Champions Cup football players.
Don’t spend all your free time non-stop with the young man you love. It’s better not to meet so often that he starts to miss your communication.
If a group of friends of the opposite sex is enthusiastically discussing their love affairs in front of you, without paying attention to you, be careful, you have already crossed the friend zone line! Show that it’s unpleasant for you when girls are discussed in front of you, because you yourself are one, if they haven’t forgotten about it, of course. Otherwise, you risk staying in the friend zone and never leaving it.
Don't whine about anything. Nobody likes whiners. Of course, you can share your experiences with a friend, but if negative news comes from you constantly, then such communication will quickly become exhausting, and the young man will simply begin to avoid you. More optimism and positivity, let them tell you that after talking with you, your mood immediately improves.

Don't forget about a neat appearance. Unwashed hair, stretched out sweatpants, shapeless overalls - even friends will run away from such a girl, let alone potential boyfriends. No one will consider a slob and a sloth who is unable to take care of herself with the prospect of a relationship, much less for starting a family.

Bottom line

I explained what to do if a girl is friendzoned by her boyfriend, and now you have ideas on how to turn from boyfriend to girlfriend. But don’t forget that the friend zone is a toxic thing, and in any case you shouldn’t stay in it for a long time.

Approach the issue with passion, try to play with taking the relationship to a new level. Be more romantic, think over your appearance, flirt, intrigue, and have fun with it. But if you don’t succeed, don’t forget to choose the best dating site in time and switch to another person so as not to waste time and energy on someone who won’t appreciate it.

How can a guy get out of the friend zone?

If there is a friend zone, then you can get out of it. Although it is not always possible to do this with a pleasant outcome for yourself. You can either completely break off the relationship with the girl you like, or achieve her love.

How can a guy get out of the friend zone?

Show interest in the girl . Let her know that you consider her as your companion, and not just a friend. Stop being her friend, stop listening to all her problems, intimate details of her life, and so on.
Be a man . Girls love strong, brave, brutal guys who won’t accept the answer “I need to think about it.” The question should be pointed out. If a girl doesn't want to be with you, stop communicating.
Develop intellectually and physically . Become interesting to the girl, get your body in shape, but don’t forget to pump up your brain.
Try not to pay attention to the girl . Stop initiating your meetings, don't call or write first. This hits the girls' pride hard. If she takes the first step herself, you have a chance for a relationship.
Don't be too persistent and intrusive . Daily requests to pay attention to you will make you look like a weakling in her eyes. Act smoothly and gradually.
Stop being a follower . There are often guys in the friend zone who are easy to manipulate. Stop being too soft, show your masculine character.
Cause jealousy . Since you're friends, why don't you go on a date with another girl? This behavior may wake up your lover. Perhaps she will look at you with completely different eyes.

If all your attempts to make a girl fall in love with you are in vain, stop communicating. It will hurt you. It is best to break off all contacts with such a lady, start another relationship or immerse yourself in work. Love and be loved!