Manipulation of consciousness. Why is it so simple?

What is manipulation in psychology?

Manipulation is a special term in psychology. This refers to various ways of influencing a person’s subconscious. The manipulator controls the actions of the object. At the same time, the person does not even suspect that he is acting as he is commanded.

Knowing the principles of the psychology of manipulation, it is possible to control not only one representative of humanity, but also a group of people. Moreover, the number of participants in the process is unlimited.

A historical fact can be cited as an example. People raised in the last century remember how young people enthusiastically went to construction sites. Young boys and girls left their parents, studies, loved ones and rushed to the BAM, Dneproges, Uralmashzavod, Chelyabinsk and Kharkov tractor plants and other objects of the first five-year plans.

The unbearable working and living conditions did not stop me. Komsomol members and communists, driven by an idea, traveled thousands of kilometers from their home to erect building units in the shortest possible time.

People worked for 12-14 hours, and all in order to comply with the Soviet slogan: “Catch up and overtake.” Their spirituality was explained by patriotism.

No one had any idea that the actions of the younger generation were clever manipulation by party representatives. A skillful technique made it possible to ensure that young people worked of their own free will, without coercion. Moreover, young people enjoyed hard work and felt proud of their results. Nobody forced anyone.

This example is more than enough to explain what it means to manipulate a person or a group of people.

Thus, to manipulate means to control, influence an object, its actions and thoughts. There are always two parties involved in the process.

Let's give a definition:

1. A manipulator is someone who controls consciousness and actions.

2. The object of manipulation is the one who is controlled and influenced.

As you already understood, the object can be a collective. Managing a human group allows you to achieve the results that a leader needs. This is how, in particular, criminal groups arise. But manipulation does not only cause harm. Psychological techniques provide invaluable assistance in raising children.

Teenagers are difficult to control. Dealing with them is not easy. It is important to master psychological techniques in order to achieve the desired behavior.

Good managers also use methods to manipulate employees. In this way they increase productivity and benefit themselves.

Practice shows: a successful person is an excellent manipulator. He knows how and uses his knowledge of human psychology in practice to achieve certain goals.

Suggestion and manipulation of consciousness. Methods of manipulation.

SUGGESTION THEORY

How little we need to believe in the truth of impossible things. A dramatic setting, the hypnotic voice of the interlocutor, trust in his skillful manipulations, and now we are ready to accept any suggestions on faith. However, it is absolutely not necessary to take part in a hypnosis session in order to become a victim of suggestion. In fact, this happens to us in everyday life. Psychologists assure us that our consciousness is constantly being manipulated. We say words and do actions, most of which were simply imposed on us.

Suggestion surrounds us constantly and everywhere. The life of any of us is a clash of suggestions from different sides. Suggestions from our family and friends, suggestions from the books we read, suggestions from new historical events. But why do we so easily become puppets in someone’s hands? Is there a weapon that can control people's minds? What do you need to know to avoid turning into an obedient zombie?

Every day people do this absolutely without exception, skillfully manipulating each other. Smile, flattery, tearful petition, blackmail, intimidation - these are just the slightest tricks that we resort to to influence people. For the first time, each of us begins to manipulate others in early childhood. It all starts with a small, banal desire to just get what’s yours. This is how we learn to achieve our goals. Psychologists have long found out that successful manipulators are those who can easily inspire another person with their point of view. Suggestion occupies a fundamental position in our lives. The ability to suggest determines almost everything, that is, if a person can suggest some of his ideas, then accordingly he becomes more effective. Throughout our lives we are influenced by various suggestions, but they do not always carry a negative message. “Learn to share and make friends”

we hear in childhood.
“Study well and you will get a well-paid job
,” they convince us as teenagers. Suggestion is also an effective way of teaching, scientists say. Most pedagogical and psychological methods are based on it. Suggestion can be not only useful, but also selfish. In principle, any method of manipulation is based on people’s desire for benefit, for example, the desire to get something, or the desire to excel others in something.

Criticality of information perception “Method of absolute evidence”

You can manipulate both an individual and a group of people. To do this, it is enough to present the idea that you want to instill as something obvious, an opinion that supposedly is already shared by the majority. Psychologists assure that this technique, called the absolute obvious method, is incredibly effective. With its help, you can build almost any, even absurd, belief into a person’s value system. A person will easily believe that white is black if there is no critical perception of information. That is why it is very important for the manipulator to remove this very criticality of information perception. But why does the criticality of information perception disappear, and the method itself, despite its simplicity, becomes so effective? It turns out that the human psyche automatically responds to the opinion of the majority; we unwittingly try to join it - this is called conformism or crowd psychology.

METHODS OF MANIPULATION OF HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS

Hypnosis and trance

Hypnosis is the oldest technique of suggestion known to man. For many millennia it was perceived as a supernatural ability inherent only to a select few; Priestesses, shamans, sorcerers. Hypnosis was feared, condemned, and avoided. Today, immersion in a special state of consciousness (trance) is used by doctors to treat a variety of diseases, phobias and addictions.

How exactly does hypnosis work, what is trance?

We constantly find ourselves in a trance state, but we don’t notice it. Immersion in a light trance occurs naturally. At some point, the focus of attention shifts, and the person becomes immersed in his thoughts. In this state, you can forget where and why you were going, pass your stop and not notice a friend walking towards you. The brain simply switches to a different operating mode. Thanks to trance states, we learned to write and count. Actually, everything we learned happened through entering special states of consciousness (other modes of brain operation). That is, in order to form new knowledge, new understanding, and form new behavior, the brain enters other modes of operation, or altered states of consciousness. Trance can also be deep; while in a deep trance, a person disconnects from reality, plunging into the illusory world; this state is similar to sleep, and is considered ideal for suggestion. Under the influence of hypnosis, a person will do everything that the hypnotist tells him, without asking unnecessary questions. This happens because the logical perception of information is removed, and a person perceives any information with the help of feelings. And feelings work according to a slightly different mechanism, the mechanism of generalization, that is, information is perceived all at once. When a person begins to perceive all the information at once, his criticality is absent, because consciousness does not work. Scientists say that non-hypnotizable people simply do not exist, but not everyone plunges into a trance state quickly enough...

NLP

Everyone wants to quickly and effectively achieve their goals, become a respected boss, or succeed in their personal life. But how can a person whom no one takes seriously achieve this? Some experts are confident that all these problems can be solved with the help of neurolinguistic programming NLP. Neurolinguistic programming was invented in America in the late 70s by business coach Frank Pucelik, psychologist Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder. However, they came up with too strong a word. In fact, these people did not invent anything from scratch, but simply competently systematized all the best that had been developed by psychology up to that time. They combined techniques used in; psychotherapy, behaviorism, cognitive psychology, Gestalt psychotherapy, Ericksonian hypnosis. One of the most famous NLP techniques is the so-called anchoring. This technique allows you to fine-tune the functioning of control mechanisms, managing thoughts and feelings. The anchoring system works on the same principle as Pavlov's stimulus-response system. To cast an anchor means to develop a conditioned reflex to reproduce a specific emotion; joy, sadness, resignation.

For example: You heard a melody associated with first love, and immediately plunged into romantic experiences. The melody is the anchor that caused this state. The anchor can be a word, a scent, or even the emotions of the interlocutor.

Many scientists reproach neurolinguistic programming for being unethical and therefore consider it the most discredited therapeutic practice. In fact, effective psychological techniques collected under the slogan of NLP can be turned into a manual for manipulating human consciousness. By creating the notorious anchors at your own request, turning them on and off at your own discretion, you can successfully pull the strings and play on people’s feelings, and do this in secret, because only someone who knows NLP techniques can expose you.

Psychotronic weapon

The idea of ​​total control over society is as old as time. Many rulers dreamed of gaining power over the minds of people. But only at the end of the 19th century, humanity came close to the invention of brain, or psychotronic weapons. According to many historians, throughout the 20th century, scientists worked to create a device capable of controlling people's consciousness. It is almost impossible to find open information about the existence of such weapons; if research has been carried out in this area, it probably remains classified. No country officially confirms that it owns psychotronic weapons. The debate about whether it exists or not continues to this day. But still, if such a weapon exists, what does it look like, what is the principle of its operation? Psychotronic weapons are directed wave vibrations. They can be very different, but are always aimed at the desired object; person or crowd. Psychotronic weapons can cause panic, stop, or make you run.

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM MANIPULATION

Everyone wants to protect themselves from a possible psychological attack; zombification and total brainwashing, hidden suggestion, in the end, from gypsy hypnosis. But how to do this, how to even recognize that you are being manipulated? The more a person consciously defends himself and resists manipulation, the easier it is to manipulate him. A person can resist unpleasant, uncomfortable manipulations by knowing exactly what he wants. It is known that excitement and panic make a person vulnerable to even the smallest manipulations. If you maintain a critical mind and are able to control your words and actions, scammers simply will not waste their time on you. Experts advise that if you do not want someone to suggest something to you against your will, take a little time and familiarize yourself with hypnosis techniques, or NLP techniques. Once you understand how this works, it will become much easier for you to recognize the tricks of manipulators.

Video: Suggestion, manipulation of consciousness. Methods of zombification and brainwashing.

Types of manipulations in psychology

Now let's talk about what kind of manipulations there are. A variety of methods allows you to obtain results regardless of what area they belong to: love, family, and work relationships can be regulated using psychological techniques.

Manipulation helps to cope with ill-wishers. Knowing the psychology of the enemy, it is easy to win. Even military leaders use tactics when controlling an army and clashing with the enemy.

Manipulation, as a type of psychological influence, in this case brings invaluable benefits.

So, let's introduce the main ways to manipulate people. All methods can be used in everyday communication.

Gaslighting

The method makes the object doubt its adequacy and correctness. The interlocutor uses a variety of phrases, such as “this has never happened,” “it seemed to you, you imagined it, you imagined it.” They gradually penetrate the victim's subconscious. She begins to doubt the reality of what is happening.

The goal of the manipulator – to pull the rug out from under a person’s feet – is achieved. The object cannot evaluate his actions rationally, he is lost, loses faith in his own strengths and capabilities. (Learn more about what gaslighting is.)

Psychological tricks deprive a person of the ability to reason sensibly. She is neutralized and safe. For example, a co-worker can achieve a promotion. Psychological manipulation allows you to eliminate a competitor.

Projection

The manipulator shifts his own shortcomings onto the victim. In this way he avoids responsibility. Guilt for actions and character traits are projected onto the object. Often used by children. For example, an older child projects his shortcomings onto a younger one in order to appear good and obedient in the eyes of his parents.

Control

The manipulator uses total control over the actions of the object. He limits him, does not allow him to communicate with other people, creates conflict situations, uses an imperative tone in conversation, and monitors the victim’s every move.

Result: a person experiences constant tension, loses the ability to think and act freely, finds himself dependent on his “master”, obeys him. Often this type of manipulation can be observed in marriage, when one spouse completely subjugates the will of the partner.

Shame manipulation

Admission lowers self-esteem. The phrase “Shame on you” has a magical effect. If the victim constantly experiences guilt, shame, she feels “bad”, unworthy of love, good treatment, rewards.

Parents often do not notice that they are manipulating their children in this way. Some representatives deliberately use the method to rid themselves of promises or to force an adult child to always be nearby.

Triangulation

Involving an outsider in a conflict situation. This is done in order to confirm your own point of view. The method is used when it is necessary to evoke a feeling of jealousy, lower the victim’s self-esteem, or prove that he is false. The manipulator can spread false, unflattering rumors about the object, and present facts that have no confirmation.

Ignoring

The goal of the manipulator is to arouse interest in his person, to intrigue the person, to make him think about himself. A common method of manipulation in love relationships.

After several meetings, the person begins to ignore his chosen one: he does not answer calls, messages, and avoids meetings. As a result, even if the partner did not show proper interest in the manipulator, he involuntarily begins to think about him, analyze his behavior, and strive to talk with the one who ignores him.

Threats, blackmail, insults

Effective manipulation techniques. The goal is to intimidate a person to achieve their own goals. Fear disarms the victim. She becomes weak-willed and easy to control. Anonymous messages, gossip, and shouting turn a person into an unrequited creature that obeys its “master.” The individual becomes a slave to the manipulator.

Substitution of concepts

In a conversation, the interlocutor replaces a concept to provoke a conflict. For example, a husband tells his wife that the color of her blouse does not suit her. The woman paraphrases his statement: “Are you saying that I look bad and I’m ugly?” A quarrel arises. The manipulator achieved her goal.

Pointless conversation or changing the topic

This technique allows you to avoid answering a serious question that causes discomfort to the manipulator. As soon as an unpleasant phrase is heard, the person begins to talk about nothing and asks a counter question that is not related to the topic.

The interlocutor gets confused and forgets what he wanted to ask. A simple and affordable way to avoid unwanted conversations. Often used by children, even toddlers. For example, a child, realizing that he will be scolded for an offense, may suddenly declare himself hungry. Every normal parent will start offering food. The child receives a deferment.

The role of the victim

The manipulator deliberately causes self-pity. The goal is to get what you want. Not necessarily material goods. A person may need attention, love, care. The role of the victim arouses interest in one’s person, guilt and compassion on the other side. Frequent manipulation of older people who suffer from loneliness.

Psychological techniques help achieve goals. The results have an impact on quality of life. Manipulation techniques can be mastered at a professional level. For such a psychologist there is nothing unattainable.

Manipulation technologies

Alexey Zakharov, director of special programs at the Moscow Center for Protection from Stress, answers my questions.

– Alexey Valerievich, at one of the meetings of the “Russian Intellectual Club” you outlined an original concept for the formation of trends in the public consciousness. Why did you start studying these issues?

– I am a military psychologist, I do extreme psychology. Since the early 1990s, I have had to fight a lot (Ossetian-Ingush conflict, Chechen wars, investigation of major terrorist attacks). After the collapse of the USSR, the ideological foundation of our society crumbled. It is no secret that for Soviet people, ideology was a substitute for religion. Psychology as a science was also absorbed by ideology. Soviet psychology mainly developed in the field of education. It is no coincidence that the Center for the Psychology of Extreme Situations, which I headed in 2003–2009, was formed at the Russian Academy of Education.

Intelligence services and marketing

In the 1990s, Russians found themselves in a very difficult situation psychologically, as the ideological foundations of society were lost. I had to work with participants in military conflicts and extreme situations. There were only a few dozen psychologists in our country who did the same thing. As a result of communication and analysis of the situation, my colleagues and I identified a number of patterns in the work of our opponents with the population. Many of these technologies were developed during the Cold War against the USSR, and then spread throughout the world. Now the impact is on the population of almost all countries.

It is no secret that political interests are closely related to economic ones. Information warfare technologies have proven to be a highly sought-after commercial tool. It was necessary to simply change the goals and objectives of the impact. Now, with the help of the developments of the military and intelligence services, people are convinced to buy goods and vote for the right politicians. Intelligence agents from the USA, Great Britain and Germany began to actively sell their technologies. At the same time, they retain control over the practical application of these technologies for manipulating public consciousness.

– Are the technologies of information warfare and marketing absolutely identical?

- I guess, yes. Cold War ideologists noted that the most difficult thing in implementing successful information influence on a person is overcoming the barriers that his consciousness sets. It is no secret that the cultural traditions of different nations are very different from each other. In particular, this concerns the culture of laughter (for example, it is difficult for a Chinese to understand American humor). That is why they relied on working with the subconscious. Human nature is based on three basic instincts: survival, procreation and dominance. These instincts are included in the genetic code and determine both the social and biological life of a person. Impacting these basic, subconscious instincts makes it easy to break through the defense mechanisms that the conscious mind sets up.

Let me give you a simple example. When you pass by the McDonald's cafe, pay attention to the smell - it always smells like vanilla. At the biological level, your hunger reflex turns on, and you begin to look for the source of the “delicious” smell, that is, act in a controlled manner. And oxygen is pumped into the ventilation systems of many casinos and nightclubs, which has a stimulating effect on the human nervous system. As a result, he does not want to sleep.

It is no secret that recently shopping has become a mass disease, turning into a form of addiction along with alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling addiction. A person in a state of addiction is easily controlled. And the mechanism of addiction formation is always the same. Therefore, an alcoholic can easily be turned into a drug addict, a gambling addict, etc. Do you know the secret of curing alcoholism in the Alcoholics Anonymous organization? They simply exchange dependence on alcohol for dependence on the group. When a person comes to a group and says, “I am an alcoholic,” he relaxes and other group members relieve him of stress. However, as soon as a person stops attending group meetings, he experiences “withdrawal” and starts drinking again. This fact has been verified several times. Sects are built on the same principle.

– So we are talking about psychological dependence?

– It begins as psychological, but gradually turns into physiological. The formation of all types of addiction has the same mechanism. In the human brain there is a pleasure center that clearly records any process in the body that relieves stress and brings pleasure. It doesn’t matter what the source of this relaxation and relief is: alcohol, pills, games. At this time, chemical processes take place in the body that are remembered. Gradually, addiction occurs at the physiological level. There are, for example, “adrenaline junkies” who do not use anything, they simply create extreme situations for the body, which are accompanied by a surge of adrenaline, and the person gets pleasure. Do not believe the labels on sleeping pills or anti-stress medications that say “Non-addictive.” I repeat once again, everything that leads to relaxation of the body and relief of stress is addictive.

Addiction

In order to be able to manipulate a person, you need to make him dependent. And any addiction destroys personality, as it leads a person to a narrow program of actions. Deviation from this program immediately causes withdrawal symptoms (“withdrawal”). The entire entertainment system is aimed at obtaining pleasure. First of all, cinema, television, music. They all appeal to the three basic instincts I talked about. This is why there is so much sex on TV and in movies. All advertising is based on instincts. A person who buys something realizes two basic instincts (dominance and procreation). After all, he buys a thing in order to “be cooler,” that is, to dominate and, as a result, to please someone.

The second option for the formation of addiction is relaxation after overexertion. Some groups of people are deliberately overexerted, driven into hopeless depression, and then a certain way out (“window”) is opened for them. If a person works very hard without proper rest, then stress accumulates, which gradually develops into physiological trauma. The body needs to compensate for this pressure with something, to find a way to relax: alcohol, drugs, shopping, playing, socializing in a group, etc. This method is clearly recorded by the pleasure center of the brain, and as a result, addiction is formed.

How both of these systems work can be seen in the example of Arab Muslim countries. There, one of the main stress compensation factors is Islam. Moreover, stress is often deliberately created due to pressure from Western countries. The response to external pressure is always the same - protest, searching for someone to blame. And the culprit is right there – the West. All this did not happen by chance. After the collapse of the USSR, the West (primarily the USA) needed a new enemy to justify the colossal costs of the army and intelligence services. This enemy must be scary enough to frighten ordinary people in Western countries, but not dangerous for the elite. This is why “international Islamic terrorism” has emerged, which the elites of Western countries use to intimidate their own population and solve geo-economic and geopolitical problems.

– Why are the main news on television in all countries about disasters involving human casualties? Why does a resident of Saratov need to know that a plane crashed in Argentina?

– The fact is that the human body at the physiological level reacts very strongly to the death of other individuals. He gets scared. If you see another person die, your body will be scared as if you were killing him. This is an instinct of self-preservation. The main thing for TV is to inflict trauma on a person, which he will strive to compensate for, and this is where addiction is formed. Compensation can be twofold: either relax with the help of something, or take it out on someone else and thus frighten another group of people. Constant mental trauma gradually leads to a narrowing of consciousness. A person becomes fixated on his trauma, begins to see life in black colors, and the easiest way out seems to him to be suicide. I often encountered this when working with combatants or victims of terrorist attacks. To bring a person out of terrible depression, he needs to be shown a way out in the direction of positive activity. This could be helping other victims, some kind of creative work. Thanks to such actions, a person forgets about his trauma, his consciousness expands and his life is filled with meaning. He begins to enjoy himself, his self-esteem increases, and this is again recorded by the brain.

Expansion of consciousness

There is a well-known method of recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, which is practiced by Orthodox priests. First, they attract a person to the group, that is, they act on the principle of the Alcoholics Anonymous organization. Then dependence on the group is transferred to dependence on a specific type of activity - obedience. Then they gradually increase the types of activities, expanding his consciousness. In 3–4 years, a person completely gets rid of addiction and can already exist independently. Cultists and terrorists work in the opposite direction. Their task is to narrow consciousness. They form dependence, consolidate it and turn a person into an obedient executor of someone else’s will. But a person whose consciousness works only to carry out orders does not live long, since his body disintegrates.

– During globalization, a mixture of different peoples took place. Today in Europe and the United States there are people of all skin tones. Moreover, they are all treated equally by the media. For what?

– First of all, to turn them into obedient buyers. At the same time, products are constantly changing and their quality no longer plays a significant role, the main thing is that the thing “be fashionable”, it is important to “be in trend”. And secondly, there are too many people on the planet. In order to provide the population of the whole world with the standard of living of the middle class of the US or EU countries, all the resources of planet Earth will not be enough. That is why the mass media system is now working on the problem of population decline. To achieve this, traditional institutions of life, which are the basis of human existence, are undermined. People are told: “You don’t need to start a family and have children.” The struggle between liberal and traditional ideas begins. The liberal idea is based on the priority of personal desire (“I want”), and the traditional one is based on interest (“I need”). The first works at the level of reflex and subconscious, and the second at the level of consciousness. Social tradition is always an element of development, since it is based on the interest not of an individual, but of a group. The social support of a person is family, traditions, his social status. If there are no traditions, then there is no development; running in circles begins, which leads to the inevitable degradation of the individual.

– But the elite, which introduces liberal ideas into the mass consciousness, is also part of society, and it degenerates along with everyone else.

– Not a single person admits to himself that he is degenerating. Any criminal considers himself a good person. Although in practice liberal policies lead to general degradation. The elite tries to isolate itself from society, but is still part of it and goes to destruction along with everyone else.

Traditions versus liberalism

– What is the alternative?

– Traditional values: family, creative work, love, mutual assistance, etc. By the way, last year German Chancellor Angela Merkel said that the liberal idea had collapsed, and in order to survive, the nation (note this word) needed to return to traditional values.

– Do the Chinese offer any alternative ideology?

“They don’t offer anything to others.” They consider themselves the center of the world. This is the only people who, over several thousand years of existence, have not changed the basis of their cultural code: Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism. By the way, Chinese Buddhism is very different from Indian. Recently, the Indian variety of Buddhism has been actively promoting in the world.

- Why?

– Because he preaches the search for an individual path through moving away from active life into a state of calm and tranquility (nirvana). Indian Buddhism very well justifies selfishness, because the main thing is that you feel good (no matter from what or at the expense of whom). If in India this is possible due to the climate, then in the northern countries it is not. But due to the fact that such Buddhism is aimed at removing a person from society, it is promoted. And not Indian lamas, but immigrants from Europe. For example, Osho is a former drug addict who came to India to get rid of his addiction and then became a preacher.

– What is the difference between the Chinese version of Buddhism?

– It is based on collective action. If it’s good for the group, then it’s good for the individual. The same can be said about Confucianism and Taoism. The communist regime changed virtually nothing in the spiritual foundations of Chinese society.

– What about the Islamic world?

– The Islamic world is heterogeneous, it is divided into Sunnis, Shiites, etc. The main country of the Shiites is Iran, which is mainly inhabited by Persians. They are a very ancient settled people with outstanding cultural achievements and traditions. Unlike the Arab nomads, whose system of traditional relations is much simpler. This is why Arabs are easier to manipulate than Persians. And that is why the United States hates Iran and sets its allies against this country. By the way, in the North Caucasus the Arab version of Islam is being promoted.

The conversation was conducted by Sergey Pravosudov

Signs of manipulation

Manipulation in communication is dangerous, first of all, for the other party. The victim of psychological influence does not realize that he thinks and acts as the other person needs.

It is important to learn to recognize the signs of manipulation. Then no one will be able to subjugate your will. This means that you will be completely free and independent.

We list the main signs of manipulation:

1. You constantly experience feelings of guilt, shame, and fear when communicating with a specific person.

2. You regularly have a feeling of not understanding why you did this or that act.

3. You feel hypnotized after communicating with a particular person.

4. The feeling of realizing that you are unworthy of praise, reward, gift, or good attitude persists.

5. You experience psychological dependence on another person, you need him. You can't make decisions on your own.

6. After a conversation or event, you get the feeling that you were used.

Any mental discomfort when communicating with another person can be the result of manipulation. As a rule, after a while, the victim does not understand what exactly caused her action, quarrel, words. She committed actions uncharacteristic of herself.

Almost every woman knows how to manipulate men. Wise representatives of the fair sex use knowledge of male psychology to build stable, fulfilling relationships.

But some ladies use the male gender. They receive expensive gifts, money, real estate, using just one technique: they deny the chosen one sex. This is a well-known female manipulation by a man who sincerely loves her and values ​​his relationship with her.

Attention! It is important not to confuse manipulative influence with ordinary requests. As a rule, the latter are expressed with words of politeness. The person is really asking for a favor. At the same time, he speaks directly, does not deviate from the topic, and clearly indicates the result he wants to get.

How to avoid being manipulated?

Every person needs to know how to resist manipulation. But the complexity of the issue lies in the fact that it is difficult to recognize a good manipulator. The target of influence guesses about his methods after a time when the first party has already achieved results.

First of all, you need to learn to analyze your state after a conversation or meeting with this or that person. If you suspect that he is manipulating you, you need to take immediate action.

Protection against manipulation depends on its type. An example of female manipulation in relationships is the notorious refusal of sex.

In this case, the partner should respond by ignoring him. Don't allow yourself to beg for access to your partner's body, even if you live together. A girl can actively seduce her chosen one.

Gather your will. Say that you are tired, you need to go to a meeting, you want to sleep, etc. Believe me, very soon your partner will ask you for intimacy.

Manipulation by a man often manifests itself in insults, feigned tears, and whims. A girl may not talk to a guy for hours if he refuses to buy her a new dress. Don't give in to provocations.

Talking about girlfriends who have generous patrons is psychological manipulation. The companion decides to prove his love and wealth with another shopping spree. Don't engage in such conversations. Rejoice together with your chosen one for your girlfriend.

If you are ignored, respond in kind. Don't show interest in the individual. If he or she is indeed using psychological games, then you will soon notice the presence of a provocateur, as he or she will be shocked by the unexpected behavior of the other party.

Important! Lack of interest in a person can be mistaken for ignoring, that is, manipulation. Please note that the manipulator will soon remind you of its existence. He will appear again in your life. Someone who is not interested in you will not seek a meeting or conversation.

Here are a few more ways to resist psychological effects:

1. Threats, shouting, accusations. If the manipulations are related to causing harm to health or imply a threat to life, contact the police. It is quite possible that this is not manipulation, but a designation of the actions that a person will take in a particular case. In other situations, you should ignore the offender and avoid his company. Don't let him know that you are afraid.

2. The role of the victim. The object risks losing his personal life by devoting himself entirely to someone who is in the role of a victim. Don't forget about yourself. Ignore complaints that seem unfounded.

3. Substitution of concepts. As a rule, the target realizes that he did not receive an answer to the question only after the manipulator has left his company. Don't get distracted by extraneous topics. Repeat the question again and again.

4. Triangulation. Ask a stranger to leave your company. Tell your interlocutor that you do not intend to discuss the situation in front of strangers.

5. Control. Firmly communicate your intention to make your own decisions. Designate the boundaries of your personal space.

6. Manipulation of feelings of shame and guilt. You are beautiful. Every person has the right to make mistakes. Shame about past actions is unfounded. A feeling can ruin anyone's existence. Remember that the past cannot be returned. Shame and guilt that are intentionally caused are baseless.

Resistance to manipulation consists in completely ignoring all the techniques of the provocateur. An excellent way to resist a manipulator is projection, that is, using the same techniques against him. Mirror reflection is a powerful weapon against psychological influence.

MANIPULATION METHODS

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1. Manipulation of guilt or resentment

Using resentment or feelings of guilt is one of the surest methods of manipulating a loved one. The image of the unfortunate victim often gives its bearer “dividends” in the form of unspoken powers and reparations. It happens that a person lives in the role of a victim for years and has already gotten used to it, but in those around him he no longer evokes sympathy and a desire to help, but, on the contrary, provokes irritation and even aggression. Because in fact, no matter how strange it sounds, it is the victim who always ends up at the top of the pyramid in the family system. Such a person influences others through their feelings of guilt. Over time, people involved in this game begin to directly or semi-consciously understand this manipulation and respond to it with aggression. Antidote It is best to develop a family rule to forget grievances. And do not remember each other’s past sins during family quarrels. It won't lead to anything good anyway. If your partner has offended you in some way, it is better to immediately discuss this issue. In a civilized and correct manner, without judging either what is happening or the partner. Clarify the situation and adjust the rules of interaction to reduce the likelihood of a similar situation reoccurring. Let's say metaphorically: write down grievances in the sand, and carve joys in marble and granite. Make this the norm for your family and see how much easier and happier your life will become.

2. Anger manipulation

There are people who lose their temper to force you to give in to them. These are manipulators who use what is called tactical anger. Antidote The worst thing is to follow the lead of such a person. After all, if his technique works, he will continue to do the same with you and others in the future. First, you will need your determination: you must not give in or allow yourself to be shouted at. If the manipulator continues to scream, leave. Continue to behave this way in any subsequent confrontations when he is angry, until the angry opponent learns to behave rationally with you. With regard to your own anger, which you will also often be provoked into, it is worth developing a conscious position and rules in advance. Remember that when you are angry, you may even be able to give your best speech. But there is a high probability that you will regret it later and will regret it for the rest of your life.

3. Manipulation of silence

People resort to significant silence when they want to show how upset they are. Otherwise, in their opinion, you will think that the problem is not important to them. People who often resort to silence over minor issues create an unpleasant atmosphere that can ruin work relationships. The silence is designed to make you feel guilty when you realize how upset the person is. Antidote Try to refrain from playing along with the “pouty” one, because if it works once, the silent one will resort to a similar technique all the time. But don't be harsh with him; act as if everything is normal. Wait, let him break the silence himself. If you have discussions with a silent person, listen to him with an open mind. Explain to him in a friendly and reasonable manner what your point of view is based on. Even if your interlocutor continues to sulk after your story, you will know that you did your best. You did not retreat only to avoid silence, the purpose of which was to force you to capitulate.

4. Love manipulation

“If you love, then...” This manipulation is designed for close people who have a positive attitude towards the manipulator. The fear of being rejected and losing love has been strong in people since childhood. Many parents inadvertently tried to manipulate their child, saying, “If you don’t listen to me/do what I say, etc., then I will stop communicating with you/loving you/taking care of you, etc.” Antidote Love is not a subject of bargaining, but the result of a relationship. When noticing the exploitation of your feelings, think about how much you need it.

5. Manipulation of hope

Brilliant promises often hide behind them the desire for the immediate benefit of their author. The fairytale promises of Basilio the Cat and Alice the Fox were dictated by their desire to quickly get the gold coins jingling in Pinocchio’s pocket. Often such “songs” lead more knowledgeable citizens to bury cash “in the Field of Miracles in the Land of Fools.” Antidote An Arabic proverb says: “A wise man trusts in his deeds, but a fool relies on hope.” Trust facts, not opinions. When making decisions, rely on real experience, and not on someone else's stories or assumptions.

6. Vanity manipulation

Little hooks that cling tightly to an overinflated ego may seem like an innocent comment. Praise used to achieve one's goals: “You're a great report writer! Surely no one can handle what I want to offer you better than you!” Or, on the contrary, a challenge with a hint of incompetence: “Is it weak?..”, “You probably couldn’t...” Antidote Remember, did you plan to do what was proposed before presenting the provocative proposal? Check whether your plans match your interests and capabilities.

7. Manipulation of irony or sarcasm

The manipulator initially chooses an ironic tone, critical statements and remarks, seasoned with jokes or provocative comments.

Be careful!

Examples of people manipulation

Examples of manipulating people from real life can be given endlessly. Techniques are used intentionally or unknowingly. Parents, teachers, management, relatives and friends constantly resort to a wide variety of methods of influencing human consciousness.

Manipulation is a way to control an object, to obtain results from its actions, that is, to extract one’s own benefit.

A skilled manipulator knows the psychology of the victim perfectly. First, he identifies her weaknesses, and then, playing with feelings and emotions, he takes the person out of his usual, stable state. The subject is experiencing discomfort. He begins to act as the provocateur needs.

Some manipulation techniques are so subtle and invisible to others that the individual is unaware of the psychological game. He believes that all actions were performed by him of his own free will and desire.

Politicians are skilled manipulators. They impose their point of view on the masses, leading those who have succumbed to their influence.

Each of us knows about the use of manipulation in advertising. Under the influence of a video, a poster, or a catchy leaflet, we make purchases.

They are not always justified. Sales representatives are trained in how to approach potential customers. Psychologically unstable individuals easily succumb to their provocations. Elderly people and women often purchase useless things, dietary supplements and other items at unrealistically high prices, and all because the agent convinced them of the need for this product.

It's easy to resist such tricks. Postpone your purchase until the next day. Time will allow you to free yourself from the feeling of obsession, you will collect your thoughts and decide whether you need this purchase.

Manipulation is especially popular in love or family relationships. Moreover, both men and women resort to psychological influence. Here are some striking examples of manipulation. Surely you have experienced some options at least once in your life:

1. A pause in a relationship as manipulation. The partner suggests taking a break from the relationship. A pause helps to avoid a showdown or a conflict situation. Moreover, during the break, the chosen one begins to get bored, sad, he needs to communicate with his companion. He no longer thinks about what bothered him in the relationship before.

2. Manipulation of silence. Makes the victim worry, worry, worry. She begins to analyze her actions, look for the reason, and feels guilty. Most often, the response to such a technique is the active actions of the object. He is looking for a meeting with a provocateur, wants to talk.

3. Manipulation of guilt. The victim will try in every possible way to make amends. For example, a mother reproaches her son for being disrespectful. He feels guilty. Now his whole life is centered around his mother.

4. Manipulation of resentment. The role of the offended party helps many ladies get what they want. The partner does not notice that he is being manipulated. He feels like a scoundrel and tries to make amends. Bottom line: he fulfills all the whims of the chosen one.

5. Manipulation by ignoring. Introduces the victim into a state of instability and mental discomfort. Men use it more often. For example, after the first date, a young man disappears from the girl’s sight. She worries, thinking that he didn’t like her. As a result, her interest in the young man increases. At the next meeting, she will show maximum attention to the provocateur.

6. Expectation manipulation. The long wait is annoying. A person experiences anxiety, boredom, melancholy, and excitement. All his senses are heightened. The wait can be long term or short term. Example of a technique: a girl is late for a date. The young man thinks that she will not come, she is not interested in him. The arrival of a lady evokes a strong feeling of joy and pleasure, relief. They replace disappointment. The goal has been achieved: the image of your partner will always evoke pleasant emotions.

7. Male manipulation of separation. A young man may threaten a young girl with separation if she refuses him intimacy. This technique is common among those who want to take possession of immaculate creatures at any cost. Teenage girls should be aware of this manipulation and not fall for it. Adult ladies also face similar cases. This technique is common for gigolos.

Manipulating the consciousness of another person is a great way to make relationships strong and stable. Unfortunately, the use of psychological techniques does not always have a similar goal. Most often, manipulation is caused by self-interest in order to extract material benefits.

Secrets of successful manipulation

The art of manipulating human consciousness is so widespread that we don’t even think that we are becoming its victims. And to become more receptive (and also to improve your skills yourself), you need to know a few secrets of manipulation. We can name four such secrets:

1. Simple, kind and merciful people, capable of altruism and self-sacrifice, are most often susceptible to manipulation. These traits are undoubtedly good, but they make a person more vulnerable.
2. Manipulators successfully exploit subconscious human fears, such as the fear of abandonment or being alone. By pressing on these points, it becomes very easy to control the actions and even thoughts of others.
3. Manipulators take into account that most people are wary of negative emotions and avoid conflicts. A banal increase in voice or change in tone can be controlled by a person without resorting to the above methods.
4. Manipulation is most successful when used against people who do not know how to say “No”, i.e. refuse. Knowing that such a person is in front of him, the manipulator can be 80% sure that the victim will do what he says.

When communicating, you must always remain vigilant - this is the first step to countering manipulation. It is equally important to know your personal characteristics and develop awareness - this also helps to strengthen your “immunity” against those who want to use you for their own purposes.

If you want to understand the topic in depth, we have three offers for you.

First, read our blog articles:

• Techniques of manipulation in discussion;
• 9 manipulations during negotiations;
• How to recognize emotional manipulation;
• Manipulative techniques of toxic people;
• How to communicate with manipulators.

Second, read anything (or all) from this list of books:

• Henrik Fexeus “The Art of Manipulation. Think the way I want";
• Henrik Fexeus “The Art of Manipulation. Don't let yourself be deceived";
• Vadim Shlakhter, Sergei Kholnov “The Art of Dominance”;
• Everett Shostrom "The Manipulative Man";
• George Simon "Who's in Sheep's Clothing? How to recognize a manipulator";
• Nicolas Gueguen “Psychology of manipulation and submission”;
• Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People;
• Victor Sheinov “The Art of Managing People”;
• Vladimir Adamchik “200 ways of successful manipulation”;
• Robert Levin "Mechanisms of manipulation - protection from other people's influence."

And thirdly, watch this interesting video about the tricks of manipulating people. Use your skills only for good and do not succumb to other people’s manipulations. We wish you success!

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Active and passive protection against manipulation
• How to recognize emotional manipulation
• Ten cunning tactics of manipulators
• Best of the year. Part one
• 9 manipulations during negotiations
• Anti-manipulation techniques
• Protection against manipulation
• Techniques and counter-techniques of verbal manipulation
• How to communicate with manipulators
• Manipulation techniques in discussion

Key words:1Communication