A tyrant husband - signs, signs of tyranny in men

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It is not always possible to recognize tyranny and despotism before marriage. Family psychologist Maria Samotsvetova talks about the signs of a tyrant husband.

If you look at the dictionary, a “tyrant” is a person who has forcibly seized power. It seems that in a modern, democratic family, the issue of power does not arise - the times of house-building and patriarchy have sunk into oblivion. In fact, the issue of power in the family and the struggle for this very power is a stone that many couples stumble over.

Whatever one may say, a family is a self-organizing system. It has its own rules, roles and hierarchy of power. It’s great if the partners managed to agree who’s boss in the house. It’s worse if it was not possible to reach an agreement, and there is an open or cold war for the role of the main one.

It is even worse if one of the spouses seizes this power and retains it by any means, that is, he becomes a tyrant. Most often, as it happens, this is a man. A tyrant man decides everything in the family for everyone, he knows everything better than anyone. There is only one correct opinion - his. Disobedience is punished; whoever is not with him is against him.

For a tyrant husband, the signs may be the following:

Tyrant husband - advice from psychologists

The first question that a woman living with a psychological tyrant husband must answer is whether it makes sense to continue this marriage in principle? There cannot be a single answer here; each woman must decide for herself.

There is no need to judge women for continuing relationships with tyrants. Usually they simply cannot do otherwise. What could be the reason for this behavior of female victims?

Often, tyrant husbands initially marry women with low self-esteem so that they obey them and indulge their whims. Another popular reason for maintaining a marriage is financial dependence on the husband, due to the presence of small children, lack of work, health conditions, etc. There are, of course, purely psychological reasons. For example, a woman may miss the romantic beginnings of a relationship with her husband (and tyrants are very skillful at showing off in the first stages of dating). Or it could be a feeling of guilt that it was because of a woman that a man became like this (this feeling could well have been generated by the tyrant himself). Someone, for example, is simply afraid of being alone and tolerates tyranny. After all, there are women who like the psychology of the tyrant-victim relationship.

If a woman, for some of the above reasons, seeks to maintain the relationship, then the next question arises. What to do if your husband is a tyrant? There are some tips from psychologists on this question:

There is no point in trying to change a despot husband. This is useless, because despotism is already a serious part of his inner self.
The most important thing is that you should never ignore or ignore the slightest manifestation of disrespect addressed to you. A woman should not allow violence to happen to her. She must always remember that she is an individual with her own convictions, which her husband must take into account. It is important to realize that the opinion of a despot spouse is only his own opinion, and not the ultimate truth. A woman also has the right to speak out and be heard. For the sake of preserving themselves and their pride, timid girls will have to learn to give a decisive rebuff to any manifestations of violence. If verbal persuasion does not help, you can use a slap in the face. The husband must see that his wife can stand up for herself and her beliefs. Perhaps the man will reconsider his attitude.
A tyrant husband may try to prohibit communication with relatives and friends. A woman should not follow this whim. Close people should always be present in life if there is such a desire. Relatives will support and help. If cases of domestic violence continue, then in the end you can hide with your relatives and come to your senses.
There are many centers to help women suffering from domestic violence. Living with a tyrant husband, it is vital to know the location of the nearest one, and also to have in your phone book the number of a helpline or social service.

Do not forget that women are the weaker sex, and negative emotions leave a huge imprint on her. Therefore, there is no need to refuse the opportunity to seek help from a specialist psychologist, for example, Nikita Valerievich Baturin.

How to get away from a tyrant if you can’t? - about the victim complex

I’ll say right away that I thank you very much for the site “Personality Development” - it was from there that I began my recovery from the “creature” whom I loved. In September, I accidentally came across this site, and it began to dawn on my brain who I was communicating with, and the more literature I read, the more horrified I became! It’s not just a tyrant husband, it’s also a psychopath! This is a subhuman. I am very loyal to people, and the aggression towards him is no longer the same, but I can’t call him a man... 2 years and 6 months ago I met him, he was far from handsome and 20 years older than me, but we had something in common in the past . I have always been “highly moral”, i.e. I didn’t let men near me (my husband was the first man, after him 1.5 years later there was an affair with a man older than me, but we broke up after 2 years, then again loneliness-freedom). I don’t even know how, but I was the initiator to go to him on the first evening, then we met when he remembered me, then more often... I myself don’t understand how I could wait for him while he was relaxing on the seas and drinking?

I’m beautiful, I got my figure back to normal in the gym (after a divorce), God didn’t hurt me with my intellect, I was the life of the party and very obstinate, I wasn’t afraid to tactfully speak to a person’s face if I “begged.” My motto has always been: honesty, decency and “breed” i.e. don't be a "mongrel". I was waiting for a strong man, so that I would want to listen to him - so that I would respect him.

After 2 months, he asked me to get married - it was nice, but he said it in a drunken way. It will disappear, it will appear, the brain will “couple” - and I, enchanted, wait another week for a dose of the love of a “strong man”. After six months I started to get tired of it, I said that I wasn’t happy with this attitude, and left. Of course, I was upset - the “chemistry” had already happened in one place. I thought: such a man, ah! He wears shoulder straps, but his rank is small, despite his experience, he is the soul of the company, a talker, and attracts attention. I didn’t pay attention to the fact that he drives completely drunk, that he’s hot-tempered, and wishes curses on people when they walk across the pedestrian crossing. I’ll roll my eyes at him, and he’ll turn around and sweetly say: “Sorry, I’m not for you.”

He was incredibly jealous and told me that I was so great at sex, which meant I had a lot of experience - well, like a professional. Another would have left after this, but for some reason I decided to prove that it was wrong, I began to make excuses (I always watched my reputation). What a pity that I didn’t understand then that I had to run!

After 6 months I left. He calls once a week, I talk on the phone, and a month later I said sharply: “Why are you calling? Go your own way." God, what has begun! His friend, who introduced us, started calling me and asked me to talk to him. I refused. After 2 hours she calls and says that he will commit suicide and asks to break up with him sober. Of course, I put on a noble mask, decided to help and that’s it - I got into trouble... He pulled out my soul, my brain, washed it, and returned it crumpled and empty. He persuaded me to move in with him and called my daughter, he was 100% charming. I tried to live in 2 houses (daughter and parents), 2 days later.

Then bottles began to appear unobtrusively at dinner. And I was seriously involved in sports (fitness), alcohol was unacceptable, but that was okay. I gave up fitness and began to please him - after all, he had an unhappy childhood in a boarding school, no one needed him, he was tired of everyone, all I had to do was love him. Sheer sadness. And I, a fool , felt sorry for him! And he really moved away from everyone, I just started drinking with him. He really cared and did everything together. But sometimes he gets overwhelmed and hits the wall, or gets offended by something unknown, and I calm him down, stroke his head: everything will be fine...

My instinct of self-preservation had completely turned off, I didn’t see obvious things, my loved ones were in panic for me. Now I understand that as soon as I turned on my brain a little, it immediately saw through it and did something: hysteria, screaming, tears, insults. He simply switched my attention, and again a couple of weeks of the “ideal man”. I began to notice that I was afraid of not pleasing him, I was constantly told that he cared, that I was lucky to have him (and in fact, he would bring me, take him away, do the laundry, if I was tired, cook).

It would take a long time to list all the horror of my relationships and humiliations. The result - I flinched even from the shadow, from a constant feeling of guilt I constantly apologized to everyone, I even went to the bath with my phone (I had to be in touch). Moreover, it is surprising that I began to think not after my humiliation, but when I began to notice his dishonest attitude towards people. Almost everyone in the city knows him, he greets everyone, but if he is a more successful acquaintance, he will curtsy slightly, and if he is a simple but loyal friend, then with disdain, but always with jokes and a smile. It was disgusting for me to watch.

I tried to answer him in the same way. They stopped me at the moment - biting my head, my arms, pushing and throwing me, and holding me by the throat. I ran away from the apartment, and he locked the apartment and grabbed the bottle... I could sit with him until the morning, until I fell asleep, and then I ran. Yes, this has happened many times - I don’t understand the first time =). One thing made me happy - I defended the right to work after a thousand hysterics. I’ll run home after a crazy night, change clothes before my mother sees my bruises, and go to work. My God, I didn’t even know it was possible not to love yourself so much!

I developed a fear of walking down the street, he followed me, up to 200 calls in half a day. History repeated itself every time. One day he stops the car, gets out and yells at the whole street (he yelled when there were no witnesses), then he pinches me painfully and into the car, rolls me around at breakneck speed and parallel to me by the collar on the seat. I promise to come back: just let me go, I’m late for work. He immediately kisses me, as if nothing had happened, and says that he didn’t hit me, and if he had hit me, then there would be nothing left of me.

I'm dreading the end of work. He waits, I get into the car so as not to yell in the street, and they drive me around the region for 5-6 hours, drinking cognac right behind the wheel. He brings me home to his place, but I can’t cry at this moment - I’m not offended, I’m happy, they love me so much! And at home my daughter is waiting, whom she promised to come... I, choking back tears, apologize and come up with a legend so that they don’t worry about me. Then again, as before - he takes care of him, and I take care of him, only my right eye twitches...

I started looking for help, telling that same friend. She says: don't come back! What if I am caught and pressed like a mouse? One day I just ran out of the office and ran through the courtyards, he caught up in a car (traffic rules are not for him), dragged me by the hair and drove for 2 hours, and I, already monotonously: “I won’t come back to you, even if it kills me.” He took me far out of town, took out a pistol and put it to my head. Something finally clicked for me, I hit him and ran out of the car. This creature caught up with me, tore my shirt, threw me down and started kicking me lightly. At this point I began to fight for myself. Then she grabbed her bag and jacket and ran across the field to the highway - she was lucky that there was a normal guy in the passing car who gave him a ride home...

And he looked for me, said that he was very worried, but in fact he was afraid of the statement - he would have been shot out of work. As a result, I had SGM, filmed the beatings, for myself, without a statement - I collected evidence of his cruelty. It’s a pity that there is no one to stand up for me; he only understands strength. After 2 weeks, there was new pressure on me, only now he was following on foot, crying, on his knees - a complete circus! I offered to call him sometimes, just to stop my stalking.

A month later he had already convinced me, and I began to believe that I was very nervous, hot-tempered, reacting to the moon, and in general all the scandals were because of me. At the same time, he convinced many that I was inadequate, and was very surprised that my family did not want to see him. I tried to “defeat” him: I threatened to report to the police that I had a lot of evidence, I went to a lawyer, but in our country it is unrealistic to defend myself.

This summer I was already in a terrible mental state, I stopped communicating with everyone, became isolated and, ashamed to admit, began to secretly drink after work. No one is trying to help me anymore, everyone has one phrase: “You’re coming back to him!!!” The most important thing is that he really began to imitate me, learned a little good things from me...

I divided our relationship into before and after “Personality Development”; a lot began to dawn on me, but not everything. We had been living perfectly for two months now, but recently I was hysterical again, I was just afraid of leaving bruises, I did it carefully, but, bitch, it hurt! I’m back to you again, I found a link to the book “Deprived of Conscience”, read it in one day, watched the film “In Bed with the Enemy”, and the whole mosaic came together.

Dear, good girls, what a pity that I can’t teach anyone with my experience - this is just mine, but still, how much should you “use your brains” with new acquaintances - no, don’t be afraid, but analyze actions before letting them in to yourself!

Psychological atmosphere of life with a tyrant:

He must be constantly praised, but it is simply necessary to reproach me, because a woman is man’s best friend, and God forbid that she be “spoiled.” There are constantly offensive jokes directed at me, but of course I can’t joke about him.
I need to look good, and at the same time not give reasons for jealousy
Always be in touch, call back when you leave the office or get on the bus
You need to understand that he had a difficult childhood, but I have a family - laughter in the house, so I have no right to leave him alone.
My dog, when he is with him, doesn’t eat anything, can go hungry for 3 days, clings to me - I suspect that he offended me, I haven’t seen it yet. One night it got up and went into the room where the dog was sleeping, and I heard some rustling, and the next morning she, bent over, tail between her legs, sat by the door and trembled. To the question: “What, did you beat a defenseless creature?” I heard someone yell that I put the dog above him
Constantly developed a feeling of guilt in me, accused me of everything possible
Calls (so far we are “good”) every 2 hours. Now I understand that he does everything thoughtfully, for his own benefit (I have to get used to it), I’m learning some LNP techniques
I’ve never heard him even make a remark to a man’s face, but when he gets into the car, he yells about how everyone is “scum and creatures, so that everyone will die and be damned.”
There were tantrums so that I wouldn’t communicate with anyone - they were all “bad”
The list could go on for a long time... and everything about him is a psychopath. This is to take into account that I do not depend on him financially!

In general, when a man raises his hand against a woman, I condemn him. I saw a couple of times when a man punched him lightly in the face, but there was hysteria. And he threw me on the bed by the head, tried to tear my mouth apart with his fingers, bit my head where no bruises were visible, swung his legs, strangled me, pinched me lightly on the chest, hit me in the stomach and dragged me around the apartment - and all this for several hours , with swearing and insults. The medical examiner had eyes like those when he removed the bite marks from my body.

But for unfamiliar people, he is an absolute charmer. I used to be surprised how someone could gouge out my eyes with foam at the mouth, but when they ring the doorbell or on the phone, he immediately “changes his shoes” and calmly carries on the conversation, and if I scream and ask for help, he will close my mouth, almost squeezing out my teeth , and continues to communicate.

Of course, I did what he wanted, but he couldn’t move me away from the child. This summer, when we went on vacation, he was overwhelmed, I tried to slow down the scandal, but he managed to say a rude word to my daughter - and was dumbfounded by my reaction, even backed away from me. Then, with a slight smile, I told him in a calm tone: I will rip my throat out for my daughter! He believed and was even frightened - he apparently understood that he could not cross this line. But all the same, the little girl was frightened by his mere appearance. And he, a few hours later, because of something else, slapped me in the face.

Psychopaths tend to use people for monetary gain, but he doesn’t need this - the earnings are good. Although he hid money from me all the time - as soon as there was a quarrel, he immediately pulled his savings into the car, and only the last time this offended me. I said, “How can you plan anything with me if you don’t trust me?” In general, this is strange to me - money has never been hidden in my family, and in general the family is friendly.

In addition to the signs of a tyrant husband, he also meets the checklist of signs of psychopathy. I now understand that when a woman cries, a normal person will not act out, and when I lost consciousness from tears (I have never lost consciousness before), he stepped over me.

I don’t like to be disappointed in people - I get upset, but here I’m very pleased that my eyes were opened. People like him need to be branded on the forehead so that a woman in a difficult situation does not fall for such a creature - he will break it, finish it off and spit in the face, he will not stick such a knife in the back, because... he is a coward and will be afraid of punishment, but he will take revenge, and with pleasure.

The only question is: how can I protect myself? Although, on the other hand, if I survived and didn’t go crazy, then wow, how strong I am! I wrote a letter and erased it many times, just a month or two ago it was different, emotions: resentment, fear, etc. Then I analyzed it, compared it, and the problem remained: how to stay unscathed and with your head intact? It’s very scary that our law enforcement agencies work like this, and even “solidarity”...

One day he hit me lightly in front of witnesses, I seized on this opportunity and wrote a statement. He terrorized my family for 2 days with tears and persuasion, although I had no intention of giving the matter a go - I only wanted to intimidate. As a result, the local police officer (and he was there) came at me like that! I asked them why they were talking to me like that, and they told me: “They love you so much, but you’re mocking the man”!!! I began to answer very calmly but confidently (and with them, oh, how difficult it is to maintain composure). In the end, they understood what was happening, but still, he’s unhappy, and I’m a bitch.

It’s just terrible how much crap there has been over these 2.5 years! It seems to me that if I really were a prostitute, a drug addict, a thief, I would respect myself more. I am very pleased that the mess in my head has been sorted out, but a couple of years ago I had no idea what a tyrant husband was. It was a diagnosis; all that was left was to cure myself. I want to walk down the street without looking around, but this is just a dream for now.

The ways I left him:

Statement to the police. I began to whine - it was a pity, now my pain is practically without bruises (does it quietly)
She said that there was another one - he watched, and then punished him, which made him nervous
All family members have already talked to him - he cries: I love him, that’s all
Once she even made a bitch out of herself (she tried to play on his greed). She said that she needed money for treatment or a receipt that you confessed everything. He gritted his teeth and paid me 20 thousand. God, how he was crooked! I thought that that’s it – I didn’t correspond to him, after all, I was just as he said. No - after 2-3 weeks, having lost weight, the unfortunate man was on duty in the yard again
Didn't cook
Tried to throw tantrums
I stopped taking care of myself
I told him what you shouldn’t say to a man - in the end, there were 2 weeks of silence without him and he showed up again

I left 2 weeks ago, leaving my things with him... and it became easier. Reading the book “Deprived of Conscience” until the very end I tried not to find anything in common, but then I was cut off - these are not emotions in him, but deviations. There is an amazing calm - he doesn’t show up, and my “animal” fear goes away. I hope he doesn't show up. But if my catching begins again, then of course I will need help. I don't want to go there!

Best regards, Lina

Domestic violence: how to protect yourself from a tyrant

The problem of domestic violence has reached pandemic proportions in Afghanistan. Every day, hundreds of Afghan women experience beatings, forced sex, or other forms of abuse at the hands of men. Almost every month, information leaks into the local media that another Afghan woman, driven to despair by violence, has committed suicide by self-immolation or self-hanging.

In Russia, the problem of violence against women and children is no less acute. However, in the country it is not customary to talk about this, seek help from a psychologist, not to mention more radical methods of resistance, such as divorce, reporting to the police and depriving brawlers of parental rights. This vicious circle can be broken. In such a situation, changing your life for the better is not easy, but it is quite possible.

Who is guilty?

Often, women who are beaten by their husbands tend to blame themselves. They are looking for many reasons why they cannot leave their husband - lack of money, housing, love for their husband. But there is actually one reason - such women do not love themselves. Therefore, when trying to leave a pugnacious husband, first of all, you should love yourself.

In such a situation, we should remember about children who suffer from aggression, even if their parents never hit them. Children growing up in such families do not see any other model of behavior - without fists. In the future, girls will not be able to be happy in marriage, and boys from childhood worry that they are not able to protect their mother.

You should not blame yourself for your husband’s behavior. Most likely, the man has serious mental disorders or, at least, large complexes. It can no longer be changed, but you need to think about yourself. To begin with, you should share your “painful problem” with a friend, parents, or call the helpline.

Psychological abuse

The law is always on the side of the injured party. According to Russian law, a domestic tyrant can receive up to two years in prison. In police slang, fighters are called “kitchen boxers”; by the way, they rarely open their hands outside their own home. Another thing is that courts in such cases are very rare. Women who are persecuted and threatened take this step.

Often physical violence grows out of psychological violence. The submission of a woman who agrees to everything is what leads to torture and beatings. If a husband constantly criticizes his wife, shouts and offends, this means that the woman is being emotionally abused. The husband can reproach him for anything: he may not like that his wife is too fat or thin, stupid, smart, a bad mother, mistress or mistress.

In almost all cases, such “kitchen boxers” very skillfully ask for forgiveness. It is worth noting that they are excellent actors. They repent, promise to change, they really want to, but they are simply not ready to lose the victim - without a wife they will not be able to assert themselves. A woman can become so accustomed to this role that it will be possible to change her psychology only with the help of a specialist.

Psychological abuse

The child will also need the help of a psychologist. He must explain to him the roles of men and women in the family, give him a healthy understanding of relationships and responsibility. You should not think that it is better for a child to grow up in a full-fledged family with a father prone to violence than with a single mother. The atmosphere of hatred and constant danger for the baby is much worse.

The fact is that a person prone to violence is like a drug addict. He also constantly needs increasing doses. In the case of beatings, this is a complication of an already difficult relationship. If he hit with impunity once, it will definitely happen again, and therefore you should not believe the apology. It is also useless to defend yourself, it will only increase irritation.

Ignoring feelings, as well as inattention as punishment, is also a manifestation of psychological violence. As well as ridicule of beliefs, moral principles, prohibition of going to work, manipulation with lies, ignoring relatives and friends and prohibiting communication with them, humiliation in the presence of strangers, threats to leave his wife or kick her out of the house and limiting communication with children. At this stage, a psychologist can still help.

Physical violence

Physical abuse includes pushing, slapping, kicking, slapping, putting people at risk, throwing objects, restricting freedom of movement, locking the house, “forgetting” in dangerous places, refusing help when sick or injured, refusing to buy necessary things such as groceries. , threats to harm relatives and friends.

Psychologists call the next stage of physical violence sexual violence. This includes pathological jealousy and suspicion of infidelity, coercion to watch pornography, and even punishment by refusing sex. A rapist man may force his wife to undress against her will, engage in sexual relations against her will, or with extreme cruelty.

The concept of economic violence also stands out. In this case, the husband may interfere with the ability to manage the family budget at his own discretion and take away money, including from children.

Portrait of a "kitchen boxer"

A man prone to violence has mental problems. Their signs may be the following signs: he likes to give diminutive names to objects - crib, little room, kitchenette, and so on. His intonations often change: one moment he was nice, and then - a sharp cry, insults, and again a soft tone. His relationships with others are built according to the model: “I am good, everyone is bad.” Often the potential domestic tyrant is very charming.

At the same time, hitting men are divided into two categories based on the type of manifestation of their aggression. The most common type of behavior is “pit bull”. During a quarrel, they become increasingly angry, and the scandal ends with an attack. This is how vicious dogs sort things out. It is these men who treat their wife like a thing. She is not interesting to him as a person, but is necessary as a function.

Another, strikingly different type of behavior of “domestic” rapists is “cobra”. They attack quickly and unexpectedly, while remaining absolutely calm. During a quarrel, neither pulse nor blood pressure increases. When the case goes to trial, many of these men are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. In childhood, such boys could steal pettyly, lie, and treat animals cruelly.

Be that as it may, the psychology of men who hit, regardless of their subtype of behavior, is very different from the way of thinking of a normal person. He once had a turning point when he decided that it was okay to hit. In addition, he believes that a man is in charge, strong, and a woman should indulge him in every possible way.

Psychologists have determined what a fighter experiences before being beaten. On the one hand, he understands that he is experiencing “unmanly” emotions that conflict with his own attitudes about how a real man should act. Realizing what happened, he builds a chain of excuses, deciding for himself that his wife is to blame. Subconsciously, he understands that he is weak and vulnerable, which means he needs to prove his strength and “masculinity.”

A man prone to aggression becomes especially dangerous if he suspects a woman of leaving him. It does not matter whether such suspicions are justified or not. Therefore, realizing his weakness, a man will not only become pathologically jealous, he will strive to dominate the woman. Unable to do this psychologically, he will begin to give up.

A person’s tendency to violence is determined by several reasons: behavioral problems in adolescence, aggression in his family as the norm, cruel punishment in childhood, head trauma. However, even with these signs, a man can remain normal, but he can become a rapist without any reason. However, this behavior can be explained and, in some cases, even cured. There would be motivation and desire.

Cycles of violence

After beatings there is always a period of reconciliation. Psychologists call this the cycle of violence. At the first stage, the pathological rapist is very irritated, tension increases, but the victim is still able to control the situation. Then the second comes - aggression gets a way out. And then the third is the so-called “honeymoon”. He asks for forgiveness, his wife gives in, and peace reigns in the family for a short time. However, the woman is still to blame. This cycle cannot be interrupted.

At the beginning of their life together, a beating husband will certainly manifest himself by doing his best to establish a distance between his wife and her environment. He doesn’t like it when she communicates with someone without him, when she shares family problems with someone, he behaves disrespectfully with her relatives. However, the woman perceives this as normal and believes that by protecting her loved ones, she is betraying him.

Next, he instills in his wife the idea that she is far from ideal, unlike him. He is always right, and therefore the woman should be grateful to him, because supposedly no one needs her and is not capable of anything, and he is forced to tolerate her like this.

Gradually, the woman becomes more and more dependent on her aggressive husband. The situation becomes more complicated during pregnancy and childbirth. The husband believes that his wife will endure everything for his sake, and where can she go with the baby in her arms? He can intimidate with the fact that no one will love the child as much as he does, and if something happens, he will take the baby for himself. By the way, in life, immediately after a breakup, the fighter forgets about the child.

What to do?

According to psychologists, first of all, you need to learn to respect and love yourself, and not allow your husband to humiliate and insult you. This is difficult, so it is worth understanding for yourself that when it comes to periodic humiliation, there can be no talk of any love - the husband simply does not respect his wife. He believes that she is in his life only to serve. Sometimes, of course, he shows tenderness and care. In order for her to spread even more in front of him. It's bitter and offensive, but it's true.

If the spouse begins to beat, but not beat, it makes sense to resist him. He only understands the logic of the pack - whoever is stronger is right. If the woman turns out to be weaker, the aggression will continue. And behind it lies only weakness. If he actually beats you, you need to leave. Nothing can help anymore.

You need to leave quietly and quickly. No one should know about this intention. If the torturer finds out about this, it will be even worse. If your husband starts beating you again, you need to run to the playground and knock on the neighbors’ door. By the way, neighbors can become witnesses to the police, even if they cannot help in any way.

You need to leave when your husband is not at home, taking with you money, documents, things necessary for yourself and the child, and jewelry. Of course, the husband will ask for forgiveness and persuade him to return. Even if he starts courting, if it doesn’t work, he will threaten again. The only thing you can do is stop all communication with him. If you return, the family unification will turn into a punishment for leaving.

There are several reasons why women return to their abusive husbands. This is material dependence, again aggression, with the help of which wives allow themselves to be returned, threats and, oddly enough, passionate love. Often it's just a matter of habit. To avoid this, it is important to immediately contact a specialized center for assistance to victims of domestic violence immediately after leaving the family.

Also, after leaving, you should go to the emergency room to relieve the beatings. Next, you need to write a statement to the district police officer and indicate witnesses. The district police officer will send you for a forensic examination, and you should bring all the documents from the emergency room there.

If the medical examination report indicates “bodily injuries of moderate severity” or higher, the torturer can be brought to criminal proceedings. For minor injuries, you can also go to court, but this will not entail criminal liability. By the way, without the presence of witnesses the case will not proceed.

Statistics say that the most common cause of female injuries is beating by regular partners, and the likelihood of dying at the hands of a stranger is much lower than at the hands of one’s own husband. Family violence does not depend on the level of education, income, profession, religion or nationality. Physical violence is the most shocking factor compared to other crimes against the person.

The material was prepared by the editors of rian.ru based on information from RIA Novosti and open sources