How to become a non-giveer in life and in relationships?

The difference between healthy and unhealthy indifference

A person with healthy indifference is always honest with himself and does not shy away from difficulties. Even if a person decides not to do anything in a certain situation, there is still work going on inside him to accept himself as such, to understand and evaluate feelings.

Unhealthy indifference means that a person does not fully understand and does not experience a certain situation that has a negative connotation. The person does not learn from mistakes, does not accept or is unable to see the life lesson.

Unhealthy indifference presupposes that an individual has unfinished business and unclear relationships, which ultimately leads to arrested development.

Pros of not giving a damn

A healthy person who doesn’t give a damn will not panic or fall into depression, but instead will take the side of contemplation, which will allow him to see life in all its diversity. Such a person can easily enjoy the little things and not worry about what didn’t happen. Healthy people who don’t give a damn go through life without fuss, without trying to bend anyone under them, but they themselves do not allow others to do this to themselves. All conclusions are made based on common sense.

Another credo of a rational don’t care: “There is no point in worrying about what cannot be changed.” This position allows its owner to look at life more easily, which ultimately turns to the bright side of the person.

It is worth noting that there is absolutely no disregard for people here. The environment for a healthy don’t care is a teacher, not a vest for tears, a meeting of manipulators or emotional vampires.

How to become a don't care?

There are several tips that can help or tell a person how to become a healthy indifference:

Not caring does not imply absolute indifference. An indifferent person is not able to accept reality as it is, since he constantly experiences anxiety within himself. You need to stop worrying about everything and accept life.
You must try to free yourself from worries and doubts. For example, during times of worry, you can contact a friend to discuss the current situation. This can be either a personal meeting or a telephone conversation. Thanks to this step, the problem will not become all-consuming. The conversation will determine whether the situation is really so alarming. An outside perspective can give an objective assessment.
It is worth realizing that individuals who are forced to follow the instructions of the environment (at home or at work) will eventually come to the point that they will become hostages of “shoulds” and “musts”. You need to learn to live with your own mind, creating convenient rules for yourself. At the same time, personal opinion should not be demonstrated everywhere, so as not to be branded as a bore.
You need to stop being an absolute perfectionist. The craving for perfection is often observed in those who did not receive enough love in childhood or were not accepted by their parents for who they are. Excellent students do not achieve success in life as often as those who studied mediocrely, while simply enjoying school everyday life. For this reason, it makes sense to reconsider your own actions in order to eliminate signs of perfectionism.
It’s worth trying to stop concentrating on one situation, and try to be distracted by something else along the way. For example, when a person is consumed by a certain problem and at that moment it seems that healthy indifference is not appropriate, you need to make every effort to switch to another type of activity that will not be related to the current situation. It’s good to plunge headlong into some exciting activity. The best option would be to watch an interesting film, visit an exhibition or read a book.
You need to try to reduce your emotionality. A person who doesn’t care is a person who is not in the cycle of raging experiences. Such individuals are calm and enjoy the moment, unlike sensitive individuals who get nervous about everything. Emotions are short-term reactions to quickly passing events. Since nothing lasts forever, it is very important in such moments to throw all your strength into distracting yourself from obsessive experiences.
To abstract yourself from the unpleasant depressing situation that is happening here and now, you can use an interesting trick. For example, set a goal to find 5 black objects around you. Or you can try to remember the names of cities that begin with the letter “K”. Having thought in advance about what tasks you can set for yourself, this method should be used at critical moments.
You need to stop taking everything that others say personally. Those who react excessively emotionally to certain statements addressed to them may not even dream of becoming an indifference. Unfortunately, people who constantly take everything to heart are sooner or later likely to become patients in the neurosis department. For example, if a work colleague speaks negatively about his appearance, you shouldn’t think about it for long. Often negativity from society is caused by problems in their personal lives. Instead of replaying the negative in your head over and over again, you should do what those who don’t give a damn do: plunge into the present moment and enjoy it to the fullest.
Another way to help you become a non-governer is physical activity. We are talking about different kinds of exercises. Thus, in the human body there is an increase in the level of hormones that are responsible for the subjective sense of happiness. Sport also promotes good appearance, which further increases self-esteem. When you feel like it’s difficult to gather your thoughts even during training, you should turn on your favorite music and concentrate on working more intensely on your body. By challenging the body, the brain will simply stop obsessing over the problem.

How to get rid of worries

To become a person who doesn’t give a damn, you need to learn to get rid of unnecessary worries. Use logic - what's the point of worrying about something that doesn't depend on you at the moment? Convince yourself that you will think about it when a more appropriate time comes, and push the worries away.

Don't try to keep everything under control, nothing will come of it anyway. Relax, learn to rest. Divide your time into work and leisure time. Don't be a workaholic - after all, you don't live to work. There are other interests in life. Do something interesting, find yourself a hobby. Invite your friends and enjoy an evening in good company.

Pay more attention to the beauty of the world around you, drive away all negativity. At least for a while, forget about crime action films and dramas - watch comedies, musicals, and cartoons. Everything that can lift your spirits, inspire cheerfulness and optimism.

If something is bothering you, you can’t get away from difficult thoughts, ask yourself - what will happen if the most negative forecast comes true? Then accept the possible negative outcome, no matter how severe it may be. Get used to it, recognize it as already happening. And if so, you no longer have anything to worry about. The ability to accept any outcome, even the most negative, is one of the characteristic features of healthy indifference.

Believe in your lucky star, in your luck, in the protection of higher powers - this is one of the best ways to cope with anxiety. Everything will be fine, there is no reason to worry. Think about the positive, drive away the negative, and the most brilliant prospects will open up before you.

Life is all about attachments. One fine moment you suddenly realize that you have already forgotten what it’s like to live without a huge burden on your shoulders, what it’s like to not give a damn. And you don't know how to become her again.

You are tightly attached to people, opinions, various trinkets, hopelessly dependent on time and money. So is it any wonder that you are not very happy?

But wise Tibetan monks teach that happiness lies in small things. The fewer attachments, the more peace inside, the closer you are to your essence.

So don't think about the judgments of others anymore.

And stop thinking about how similar you are to others. If you look up to glossy supermodels, you will begin to consider yourself the latest kikimora. If you become like ordinary people, you will gradually forget who you really are. The single standard, the single role model for you should be yourself.

Don't think about the extra pounds. Life is too short to stay on the scale, count the calories you eat ten times a day and look with envy at the shiny, silicone, disproportionate anorexics in a fashion magazine. Don't be afraid of calories - they are very easy to burn, all you need to do is run a little in the park. Feel free to indulge yourself with fried chicken or kebab. Well, the truth is, if you have bulimia, then you shouldn’t follow this advice.

In our age, social networks are the real root of evil. So if you don’t want to be upset until you cry because of the terrible photos of you drunk and smoking that your ex posted, quickly get rid of all the random Facebook friends and hypocritical Twitter followers. After all, they will all be willing to arrange a wide repost of compromising photos.

Yes, yes, real indifference is finding the strength to get rid of “friends” who are nothing but trouble. Sit and think about who your real true friends are. Take them with you into your careless future, and give up on the rest of your “comrades.”

Inept partners - well, what good are they to you? Why waste precious time and nerves on guys who think only about themselves and are also inept in bed?

Well, what about your “almost” exes? Why are you holding on to them so much? In the words of Shakespeare's Lady Macbeth, "What's done is done." Holding onto your exes with your teeth is the same as not cutting your nails for a long time. Just cut them, otherwise they will break on their own and cause you pain.

Remember: time is not a healer at all, but a huge enemy.

If you constantly think about the future or regret the past, you will never live in the present, here and now.

Let the beating of your living passionate heart become your guide, and not the inexorable ticking of a dead mechanical watch. Just go to hell with all this dead mechanics.

Send passing fashions there too. Various “trends” and fashionable gadgets are very reminiscent of Kim Kardashian. At first it seems like the limit of perfection, but before you blink your eye, the streets and trams are full of these perfections. And now you somehow don’t really want to have such shapes or physiognomy.

Not caring in relationships

Absolute indifference in relationships between loving people negatively affects them. It is unrealistic to build a future together with a person who shows indifference to everything. With such a partner it is uncomfortable and difficult. Love involves passion, desire and desire to please the other person, but this must come from both. It doesn't work unilaterally. In this situation, you need to choose between love and balance.

It is advisable to resort to not giving a fuck in a relationship if your significant other attempts to manipulate or artificially intensifies passions.

For those who are determined to become a non-giver, it is worth thinking about how to become one without being nervous. This is important because at first people begin to feel guilty and worry about how the environment will perceive the changes taking place in themselves. For example, a person who rarely refuses others will suddenly put on a mask of indifference and begin to say “No.” Naturally, those individuals who believed that they had long ago sat on such an individual’s neck will be surprised at such a change.

As a result, accusations and reproaches will fall on the beginner who doesn’t care. The person will suddenly become bad for everyone, because quite recently he was a reliable good-natured person for society who could be used. Feeling guilty in this situation can greatly ruin your nerves. Therefore, it is necessary to determine for yourself how to act in order to be an indifference without experiencing pangs of conscience.

How to become a girl who doesn't give a damn

It is much more difficult for girls to step on this path of self-improvement. If only because women are more emotional and impulsive, they are rarely friendly with logic and perceive reasonable arguments with doubt. Indifference comes from the mind, not from the heart, and requires a cold mind at least at first.

To the question of how to become a non-giver and not get upset, you can answer this way: don’t get hung up on what’s happening and don’t be tormented by feelings of guilt. A good example of a woman’s healthy indifference is Scarlett O’Hara from the book “Gone with the Wind.” She very competently distanced herself from current problems, saying to herself: “I’ll think about it tomorrow.” She didn't waste her emotions, she used her mind.

How to become a non-giveer in a relationship? Maintain the remnants of reason (although this is difficult to do when passion is raging in the blood) and do not allow yourself to be manipulated. No man is worth being turned into a doll that he controls. The tips listed just above will help with this.