How to learn to cope with anger

​Definition

Since ancient times, human emotions have been of particular interest to scientists.
It's amazing how different feelings people can experience and how they relate to them. Anger is considered one of the most striking emotional outbursts. It is similar to indignation, although experts distinguish between the two concepts. In dictionaries, anger is interpreted as an emotion that has a negative connotation. It manifests itself as a result of the actions of some subject or situation. Anger is accompanied by feelings of ongoing injustice and a desire to correct it. Usually this emotion manifests itself very clearly, like a flash, a temporary clouding of the mind . A person in such a state ceases to control himself and can cause pain and destruction to himself or someone else.

Psychologists tend to believe that anger leads to negative affect. This term is very common in professional circles and means a strong emotional outburst. It doesn't last long, but it's very intense. In this case, blood pressure most often increases, the functioning of internal organs changes, and erratic motor activity appears.

After all of the above, it becomes clear that in anger a person does not just get emotional; destructive or creative consequences arise. Sometimes, with the help of anger, it is easier for a person to solve a problem, but more often than not, the situation, on the contrary, becomes more complicated. Scientists have even identified a separate direction in science - the psychology of anger . According to this teaching, a given emotion is not only correctly characterized, but its classification is also determined.

Types of Anger

Psychologists identify quite a few types of anger, but three are considered the main ones:

1. Righteous.

It is caused by outright injustice against the individual. The person understands that the situation needs to be corrected immediately and righteous anger begins to boil within him. Moreover, depending on the individual’s psychotype, anger can arise at any of the previously described stages.

2. Provoked.

Anger is directed toward a situation, a specific person, or a group of people. Usually this emotion is caused by some actions, most often insults or anger that has already been splashed out on the person. In the latter case, he is reciprocal and can transform into a righteous one.

3. Random.

It is caused by anything; a person can “flare up” with or without cause. Psychologists consider this anger a disease and declare the need for its treatment.

Psychologists pay great attention to the manifestation of anger in their work. They identified them into certain models that influence the personality or are used by it for some purpose.

Why do seizures happen?

Understanding the causes of anger will become easier if you consider several influencing factors.

  1. Biological factors . People with a choleric temperament fall most quickly into an angry state. This occurs due to a mobile nervous system, which reacts faster and more emotionally to external stimuli.
  2. Physiological factors : restless sleep, lack of sleep puts the body in a stressful state. Because of this, a person experiences mental and physical exhaustion. He begins to react very negatively to any external stimuli, accompanying this state with aggressive behavior.
  3. Psychological factors : problems at work, lack of money, difficulties in personal life, debt in relation to other people, disagreement with the surrounding reality, inability to keep negative emotions under control - all of the above leads to growing internal stress, and then spills out in the form of anger.
  4. Mental disorder accompanied by increased anger. This factor includes various personality disorders: bipolar disorder, relapse of eating disorders, dependence on chemical or non-chemical substances, addiction. This can also include decompensation of psychopathology in the patient’s family.

Manifestations of anger: models

First of all, you need to understand that anger almost always manifests itself in a combination of other emotions. For example, the anger-aggression pair always carries an extremely negative message. Aggression always results in an uncontrollable form and is often accompanied by material or physical damage. In the case where anger manifests itself along with fear, these two emotions can feed each other and help mobilize the body's forces.

Psychology has six main models for the manifestation of anger:

1. Family anger.

This model always has a very bad effect on children, because from early childhood they find themselves in an atmosphere of quarrels and scandals. Usually these are dysfunctional families where parents drink alcohol and do not raise their children. Initially, the child is frightened by angry manifestations, and then adapts to them and adopts them as a model of behavior for himself. Subsequently, the personality acquires explosive traits and reacts to any irritants with outbursts of uncontrollable anger.

2. Achieving the goal.

In this model, anger is a tool that a person successfully uses to achieve what he wants. With the help of anger, a person achieves obedience and transfers the feeling of guilt for this outburst to the opponent. For a short period, this model can be very effective, but over time, people stop reacting to manifestations of anger and the effectiveness of this method decreases significantly.

3. Denial.

When a person acts according to this model, he replaces the fear of everything new and unknown with anger. Any innovative proposal causes a flash of anger in such a person.

4. Catalyst.

A person acting according to this scheme brings himself to an uncontrollable state with anger and only then can he express his opinion on the situation to people or feel capable of solving the problem. That is, the feeling of anger becomes a catalyst that gives vent to true emotions.

5. Suffered anger.

This model can be well illustrated using the example of nationality. Let's imagine that a person was once offended by a representative of a nation. In the future, everyone who belongs to this nationality becomes an object of anger. Such a manifestation of anger can cause serious ethnic conflicts. In any case, transference of anger is a very catastrophic manifestation pattern.

6. Protection.

Many complex individuals often display anger as a shield from any environmental influences. Typically, this model of expressing anger does not bring results, because it drives the person even deeper into the vicious circle of action-anger.

In addition to the described manifestations of anger, there are also physical ones that need to be described.

​Feeling of anger. Stages

Anger is a pretty strong feeling. The map of consciousness by David Hawkins indicates that this emotion, in terms of the power of awareness, is more powerful than lust, but weaker than pride. At the highest level of this scale is enlightenment - 700 points. Pride has a score of 175, anger has a score of 150, and desire has a score of 125.

It is curious that this seemingly negative emotion is born precisely when a person has a desire to act . An apathetic person has no time for anger. He simply doesn't have enough energy for it. That's why you shouldn't get too upset when you feel angry from time to time. This can only mean that the body has enough energy for achievements.

How to move from the level of anger to a higher level? After all, after it comes pride, pride, and then courage. It is considered a transitional stage from negative emotions to positive ones. To achieve it, you need to realize your feelings and the reason for their appearance.

Before discussing the causes of anger, it is necessary to determine its stages. This will help you understand how a particular affect will manifest itself. Psychologists distinguish the following stages:

  • discontent;
  • feeling of injustice;
  • anger;
  • anger;
  • rage.

The last stage is the most extreme form of anger. It is destructive and negatively affects not only the person himself, but also the people around him. The emotion of anger arises within from accumulated discontent that can no longer be contained . A person begins to get angry, and after that a wave of anger overtakes him. At the heart of this process is a wounded sense of injustice. Only then is anger classified as such.

Anger management - how to cope on your own?

A person can manage his anger and aggression even without turning to a psychologist or sedative medications. To do this, you should avoid emotional burnout, stressful situations, chronic fatigue and other psycho-emotional conditions .
Calmness occurs within a few days if a person is in a quiet place without irritating factors. Only in such conditions is it recommended to begin the fight against anger.

Hidden Anger

Sometimes at this stage anger is characterized as a growing feeling of resentment. At this moment, a person hides his true emotions in every possible way and does not allow even a fleeting manifestation on his face. They say about such people that they control themselves well. But for the individual himself, such suppression of anger can be disastrous.

Emotions in psychology are represented as a substance that must be manifested. But the degree of personality development can be determined by how constructively a person shows his emotions. Those who successfully hide their anger run the risk of contracting a large number of diseases. In addition, one day all emotions will result in a flash of incredible power that can harm the person who is angry and all the people around him at that moment. Therefore, it is natural when hidden anger smoothly passes into the next stage.

​First steps at work

First, you need to honestly monitor your condition, which occurs after an angry outburst. What are the following excuses for negative emotions:

  • “he brought me to this”;
  • “this time he crossed all boundaries and asked for it”;
  • “got what he deserved”;
  • “He didn’t dare treat me like that, I answered him correctly.”

All of the above excuses only hinder the fight against anger . It is better to abandon these attitudes, then success will become closer.

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Next you need to assess how intense the experience is. Most people with anger problems try to lower this indicator, which prevents the situation from improving. The fact is that during an angry outburst, the risk of impulsive behavior increases.

An important step is to determine how often the emotion of anger occurs. How many times during the day does a negative surge occur.

And one more point should be taken into account: how anger manifests itself (a person’s behavior in this state). It is necessary to list all possible reactions: throwing things, breaking dishes, ignoring, violence towards the object of irritation, swearing, banging with fists on the table, wall, etc.

All of the above must be divided into certain groups:

  • verbal aggression (words);
  • physical aggression (violence);
  • hidden aggression (ignoring).

​Management - exercises and techniques for independent implementation

The most effective and fastest techniques for getting rid of anger are cognitive behavioral psychotherapy, training in mindfulness and self-regulation methods.

Before starting the exercises, it is important to understand the entire chain of appearance of anger . Which specific segment needs to be worked on in order to influence all aspects comprehensively.

Some chains are quite simple: trigger - anger - aggression.

But in some cases they become more complicated: trigger - anger - indignation - anger, irritation - self-inflation - rumination - anger - aggression.

The complexity of the chain must be taken into account before starting the exercises.

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