Fear of communication is understood as an unconscious desire to avoid all interaction with others. In this case, a person may understand the presence of a problem quite well, but often cannot cope with it on his own. Of course, such manifestations cause a lot of suffering. The individual in this case experiences extreme awkwardness when the need arises to somehow interact with others. He limits himself to contacts to avoid unnecessary disappointment. For him, public speaking generally becomes akin to a real disaster. Such fear can be present in a person’s life for a long time and hinder his socialization.
Causes
No phobia develops just like that, out of nowhere. Everything in life has its reasons. To help yourself free yourself from such internal imprisonment, you need to understand in more detail the reasons for what is happening. Let's take a closer look at them.
Strict parents
Upbringing leaves an imprint on your entire life. We unconsciously act towards ourselves in the same way as our mother and father treated us. The experiences gained in early childhood are unconsciously transferred into adulthood. Often how our parents scolded us, and then we limit ourselves. Self-judgment, the habit of constantly being in a bad mood, pronounced self-criticism come from here. If an individual experienced a lot of negative emotions in childhood and was not allowed to reveal his uniqueness, then he will have a very difficult time during the period of personal development. Many people withdraw so much into themselves that they do not want to make any attempts at action at all. Such a person will be afraid to take risks and act in the direction in which his soul requires. Sometimes parents themselves do not realize how much they cripple the lives of their children and do not allow them to be themselves. By setting rigid boundaries and stereotypes, they undermine their son or daughter’s self-confidence and destroy the desire to follow their own individual impulses. As a result, a persistent fear of doing something wrong appears, uncertainty and fear of communication grows.
Negative experience
It also happens that an individual faces a negative assessment from society. As a rule, this occurs during childhood or adolescence. When faced with ridicule from classmates or outright bullying, not everyone finds the internal resources to adequately respond to the situation. Most simply withdraw into themselves and do not want to take active action. Negative experiences always have a negative impact on personal development and prevent the emergence of understanding between people. In the future, there may be a fear of speaking first and meeting people in public places. It often happens that a person, even in his own family, remains lonely and misunderstood. He can hardly explain to himself why this happened, but he clearly feels a persistent rejection of his own essence. In this case, his individuality is suppressed under the pressure of social demands.
Closedness
Such a distinctive feature as unsociability also creates significant barriers to communication. An individual cannot relax even in a familiar environment, because he constantly expects betrayal from those around him. He is afraid that the situation will suddenly get out of control. Being withdrawn is the reason why you have few or no friends. If an individual cannot open up in communication, then it becomes quite difficult for him to concentrate on the conversation. He does not know how to conduct a conversation, he often lacks certain communication skills. If you are unhappy with your life, you are depressed by loneliness, then you need to sort yourself out. Blaming others for your own failures is unlikely to help. You need to understand that people are not all bad, and not everyone is going to cause you mental pain. In fact, the reason lies in you, in your behavior. Isolation provokes isolation from the world and prevents the establishment of normal mutual understanding between interlocutors.
Inability to trust
The inability to trust is a common reason why a person remains alone in the most difficult moments of his life. This mainly manifests itself in the fear of communicating with strangers. A persistent thought is formed in the head that after internal self-disclosure, bitter disappointment will certainly follow. As a rule, a person chooses a convenient and safe social circle for himself and does not let anyone outside. Such an individual avoids new acquaintances and does not want to attend various exhibitions and interesting events. The inability to trust is a false belief that others will definitely cause internal pain and make you doubt your abilities. In most cases, the individual does not even make any attempts to correct the situation, because he is very afraid to act. The inability to trust is a problem that often cannot be overcome even over a long period of time. After all, every new attempt can lead to aggravation of the situation.
Formation of a phobia in a child
Such an illness is considered a psychological illness, but in a child it may be the result of incorrect upbringing and development. Often the formation of a phobia begins in adolescence, when the child matures as a young man and girl. Changes in appearance lead to the formation of most complexes. But the initial alarm bells that can lead to the formation of the disease can be detected in an educational institution. If in a child in kindergarten such a minor form of phobia is accepted as the norm, then in adolescence, when the child meets the company of strangers for the first time, the phobia is unacceptable. In this case, the child is faced with certain rules of behavior and the likelihood of non-acceptance of the child for who he is in relation to the family and kindergarten. If a child fails to adapt to a new environment, then the help of a psychologist is needed. Significant circumstances for a child during the school period are:
- communication with strangers;
- conversations with teachers, reports at the blackboard;
- independent public speaking.
Also, a shy child may feel uncomfortable while eating surrounded by strangers, which is problematic because he may refuse to eat. It happens that a student does not want to attend school due to anxiety that is not controlled.
The child is afraid to answer at the blackboard
Symptoms of the formation of this phobia:
- does not want to attend an educational institution;
- does not make contact with peers;
- does not contact teachers and specialists;
- refuses to work at the board;
- experiences fear when sleeping at home alone.
Parents should talk to the child in a calm manner to prevent further attacks. You should not intimidate a child, because he may classify his parents as threatening individuals.
Manifestations of fear of communication
Recognizing the fear of communicating with people is quite easy. To do this, you just need to pay attention to your own behavior or the behavior of your relative or friend. It is difficult not to notice this, because social ill-being is striking. Let's take a closer look at ways of expressing fear.
Shyness
When an individual suffers from social phobia, this is necessarily expressed through shyness. A guy or girl can be so timid that it's really hard to imagine. They refuse not only to participate in public life, but to at least somehow express their position. For such people, defending an individual opinion is generally akin to a real feat. Shyness hinders self-realization and prevents the identification and development of strong character traits. It is worth noting that everyone has positive traits, but not everyone is ready to make certain efforts for their own development. If you have a habit of being shy, it means that it will be difficult for you to show your individuality in any matter.
Feeling isolated from the world
When we are afraid to communicate with the world, a feeling of isolation and isolation from the people around us arises. It seems to a person that he is alone in the whole world, and no one can help him solve the problem. This happens for the reason that a person unconsciously isolates himself. Having gotten used to refusing the help of others, he no longer hopes for them in the future. He makes it clear that he does not want to contact the world in any way due to his mistrust. Fear greatly limits him and makes him begin to doubt himself. The feeling of being cut off from the world is dangerous because it teaches a person to consider himself a victim in any situation. A person stops fighting and relies entirely on the fact that those around him will someday notice and understand him. Of course, this is a deliberately flawed approach that yields nothing but severe disappointment. The more a person withdraws into himself, the more difficult it becomes to find a decent way out of the situation.
Feeling exclusive
A person who is afraid of people gets used to considering himself an exceptional creature. He cultivates the behavior of a victim, and therefore does not want to change his rules and attitudes. It often seems to such people that everyone is unfairly offending them. They may complain to others about misunderstanding or pretend that they were wronged in vain. Such a person gets used to considering himself a misunderstood genius, a victim of the universe. It doesn’t occur to him to start analyzing his actions and actions. After all, it becomes much easier to blame others for your failures. The feeling of exclusivity is a derivative of arrogance and pride. It’s just that the fear of interacting with others is so strong that it does not allow them to take tentative steps towards the desired result. The individual does not make any attempts to feel better, to free himself from oppressive experiences.
Low self-esteem
A person who suffers from a fear of communication does not know how to value himself. He does not understand that he also has his own strengths, like everyone else around him. Rather, there is a fear of receiving social disapproval, of being misunderstood and condemned. Often such individuals do not pay any attention to their talents and do not develop their existing abilities. They feel that their own skills mean nothing and are worthless. Low self-esteem does not allow you to identify your best character traits and somehow express your talents. The personality is overly focused on its own shortcomings, it lacks the courage to start moving forward. Finding himself in such a situation, a person always finds weighty arguments to somehow justify his inaction: bad luck in life, no opportunities and talents. In fact, there are no aspirations and healthy ambitions. Such an individual does not know what he wants to achieve in life and does not know how to cope with even the most basic tasks. It soon turns out that there is absolutely no one to try for: there are no friends, close relatives do not always understand and do not share his experiences. Low self-esteem is always the result of an incorrect attitude towards life, the people around you and yourself.
Avoidance of social contacts
Fear of social interaction often forces an individual to avoid all contact. He begins to simply avoid people, fearing that they will cause him great mental pain and make him experience colossal disappointment. A person may not leave the house for weeks, closing himself off from everyone and everything within four walls. This line of behavior is due to the fear of disappointment. Avoiding social contacts does not lead to the formation of trust; rather, on the contrary, it scares people away. People around him begin to perceive such a person as abnormal, avoiding normal communication. The greater the mistrust, the greater the gap between the individual and the outside world becomes. The person becomes even more affirmed in his exclusivity and finally becomes locked in on the problem.
Fear of public speaking
It is impossible to get rid of the fear of communication if a person does not make any attempts to somehow work on himself. Personal development cannot be carried out without conscious desire. When there is a pronounced fear of communication, there is no opportunity to speak in public. The individual is seized with such panic that he has hardly ever experienced before. Under any pretext, he will refuse the opportunity to express himself and express his own feelings. Fear of public speaking greatly limits personal development. As a result, a person generally ceases to understand what he needs from life.
How to get rid of the fear of communicating with people
Many people think about how to overcome the fear of communication. I must admit that it causes great discomfort and makes you doubt your capabilities. If a person does not find the strength to fight, then he has to doom himself to loneliness and a completely joyless existence. How to overcome a pronounced fear of interacting with people? Let's try to figure it out.
Constant practice
If you constantly sit and sigh how bad everything is, nothing will change. Only with constant practice is it possible to reduce anxiety levels. Train, try to communicate with those who are nearby. There is no need to be upset by temporary setbacks. Remember that your goal is to acquire a new useful skill.
Taking responsibility
When thinking about how to get rid of the fear of communication, you need to try in advance to take full responsibility for the result. Understand that no one can change your life for you. It's not other people's fault that you can't build relationships with them. It always seems to us that the main cause of all troubles lies in the world around us, but in reality everything is in our perception. It is necessary to learn to look at things soberly, without illusions and enthusiasm. Then you will be able to overcome unnecessary suffering and become more independent.
Nurturing Confidence
Self-confidence is not an empty phrase. You need to pay attention to what level it is at. Working with self-esteem includes the ability to adequately assess one’s strengths. It is unacceptable to constantly belittle yourself; this will not correct the situation. Sometimes you have to cultivate self-confidence, and through your own efforts. Don't be afraid to act and fight!
Thus, the fear of communicating with people is the result of improper upbringing and a distorted attitude to life. A person ceases to value his own personality and strive for any achievements. If you are suffering from such a problem, do not hesitate to seek help from a psychologist. Consultations with Irakli Pozharisky will help restore peace of mind and restore a sense of self-confidence.
What is the name of a phobia - fear of people?
Anthropophobia: causes
Anthropophobia is a type of social phobia, which is expressed by fear of people. Moreover, in this case, the sick person is terribly afraid not of the enemy or some evil person, but of absolutely all those who are trying to get closer to him. Most often, men and women suffering from this pathology have no friends and do not fit well into the team. They prefer to spend their time alone and even go out for food and medicine only as a last resort. Of course, this does not mean that such people do not go out into the streets at all.
They may go to work or sometimes go for walks in the park. But at the same time, they will do everything to prevent other individuals from encroaching on their personal space. That is, at the bus stop they will stand apart from everyone else, and when they come to work, they will immediately sit down in their place and will stop all attempts to communicate. Many psychologists believe that this phobia most often develops in childhood. The reason for its appearance is not entirely pleasant circumstances. This could be severe psychological trauma, violence, resentment towards someone, or even fear.
Having experienced all these unpleasant emotions and not receiving support from adults, the child simply withdraws into himself and begins to think that he cannot trust anyone in this life. If parents do not notice the appearance of such psychological problems in their child, then as an adult, he will definitely try to distance himself from people. With this behavior he will try to avoid stressful situations.
