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I am often asked about this - sometimes directly, sometimes in disguise.
For example, my husband doesn’t want to work or is not interested in anything .
Since we look first of all at ourselves, looking for our own opportunities for growth, then in this case we should ask - what am I doing wrong? How can I inspire my man and become his muse? A man needs a woman's energy. God created man as a driving force. He gave him all the necessary qualities so that a man could achieve any goals he set. Only in one thing did God limit his capabilities - he left him without the ability to independently generate energy. The man ended up looking like a multifunctional computer. Which can do a lot, a lot. He knows how to perform different tasks - go to the store, earn money, build a house, and repair a sink. But only if it is connected to the electrical network. There are two options here - either it is connected to an outlet where general electricity flows, or it can be powered by some kind of mobile generator. That is, a man can receive energy either from God or from a woman.
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Since a computer without a network connection is just a box with pieces of hardware, it is useless to demand accomplishments, solved problems and fulfilled promises.
Modern men find it difficult to build a relationship with God due to their upbringing, traditions and beliefs. Therefore, the universal electrical grid remains inaccessible to them. Then all hope remains on the generator.
A woman is created to generate energy. She can create it out of thin air - out of nowhere. And for her, this is one of the most important functions. Every woman creates this energy, accumulates it, and somehow spends it. The most important question is where are we sending it?
The most logical way is to connect to a computer and power it with energy so that it, in turn, solves all the necessary problems. And the computer will happily do this - after all, it’s better to solve some problems and move somewhere than to just get covered in dust. It’s better to fulfill a woman’s wishes than to lie on the couch and drink beer.
But sometimes there is a riot of generators. When they take to the streets with posters: “Give us equal rights!”, “Computers are a relic of the past,” “We produce, we have to spend!”, “Down with the exploitation of computers!” and so on.
Then women begin to be independent - and try to do everything themselves. They build houses themselves, do renovations, fix plumbing, earn money, raise children, and seek equal rights.
What remains for computers without electricity? Just rot. Become obsolete. To be used as furniture.
Do generators become happy because they achieve a lot, but at the cost of insane effort? I'll leave the question open.
If my husband doesn't want to move, then where is my energy?
This is the most important question that every married woman should ask herself. If my husband doesn’t want to work, achieve something, isn’t interested in anything – where is my energy?
- Am I spending it on excessive work and earning money?
- Did I get carried away with raising children and forget that I was also a wife?
- Have I gone into self-development, leaving behind my responsibilities as a wife?
- Or maybe I’m still sure that I could find a better husband?
- Or am I overwhelmed by greed and am not ready to give away my energy?
- Have I decided to be strong, independent and independent at all costs?
- Do I know how to produce it myself, save it and share it?
How to inspire your husband
APPEARANCE 1. Pay more attention to subtleties - try to smile more sincerely, look beautiful, watch your posture. Beauty is in beautiful natural gestures! 2. Dress beautifully at home - let it be simple, but tasteful. Don’t forget to emphasize your female gender in your clothes - wear skirts and dresses, jewelry, handbags, and accessories. 3. Put on makeup and dress up at home for your husband, and not when you go out - for other men. But it’s better to put on makeup when your husband can’t see. 4. Try to devote less to the man in the details of your physiology, which you can handle yourself (menstruation, intestinal pain, cramps, toxins in the body, etc.) PSYCHOLOGY 1. Learn to imagine him head and shoulders above you - let him be first. 2. When you disagree with your husband, say to yourself: “my husband knows what to do right, he is my smartest.” 3. Listen to his requests, even if they seem unimportant to you. Do them. 4. Put a man above and smarter than yourself - then it will be so, otherwise he will not want to be a responsible and caring husband. SPEECH 1. Learn to manage the energy of speech - express requests more often at the right moment and discuss difficulties. 2. Learn to speak less in general, because a woman is loved with her eyes, not her ears. Try to speak quietly, softly and with great love for your husband. 3. Don't accumulate irritation. Try to talk to your husband about your difficulties - get him interested in solving your problems. 4. In front of other people, address your husband not by name, but with affectionate words: “dear”, “beloved”. CONSIDER MALE FEATURES 1. Men often interpret female behavior in their own way - for them we are more charming in our inconsistency and illogicality - so be it, do not stop him from thinking about you in his own way. 2. If a man laughs next to you, that’s good, a woman should make a man smile, don’t be offended by him for this. 3. Don’t forbid him to express his masculine emotions - let him laugh a lot with his friends at jokes you don’t understand (aliens, politicians, excavations, Roman history, etc.), leave for him your interesting boyish world. 4. When he is angry with you, do not make excuses or remain silent, try to calmly accept his reproaches, even if you do not agree with them. CONSIDER WOMEN'S DESIRE 1. Follow your desires - a woman always sets the course for the development of a family. If she wants too much, the whole family will experience stress and dissatisfaction, try to be satisfied with life. There is no happiness in greed, teach your husband to enjoy simple things - a delicious dinner, a walk, communication. 2. Make sure that your needs are met, ensure that your husband helps you. 3. Have your own circle of interests, hobbies, girlfriends. Be an individual! 4. Dedicate several hours a day to yourself, your beloved Dana Satori
What did the princess do that was so special?
The princess was obviously weak and could not save herself.
This step is a rejection of our female independence and independence. By becoming weak, we awaken in men the strength and desire to take care of us. As long as we try our best to be strong, we have no chance of being cared for. Remember, like Rozhdestvensky:
“It’s very difficult for me to be with you, so confident. At least on purpose, at least for a moment - I ask, timidly - help me believe in myself, become weaker.”
The princess believed that the prince would save her.
How often do we know how to believe in our men? How often can we completely trust them and not control? And can a man really help if we don’t believe that he can and will do it?
At the same time, she did not just sit and wait, but did women’s things - embroidered, painted.
The habitual way of life of a modern woman practically excludes women's activities. You can buy clothes ready-made - and there is no need to sew them. The dishes are washed by a dishwasher, the laundry is washed by a washing machine. Embroidered shirts are no longer in fashion. There are so many children's toys in stores that there is no need to sew or embroider them. It’s not even necessary to cook in the full sense of the word. You can buy a semi-finished product and heat it up.
Our life is becoming easier and more technologically advanced, and most importantly, where does the energy that we saved go? And do we know how to replenish it, because many women’s activities exist precisely in order to recharge with energy.
She did not shout to him from the tower how to properly chop off a dragon's head.
How often do we think that we know better what is right. I’m like that myself – and I constantly catch myself thinking that sometimes I “help” too much when it’s better to keep quiet and relax.
And at the same time, we are very often ready to poke a man into every mistake he makes. We don’t attach as much importance to his victories as to his defeats. Favorite phrases: “I told you so,” “I knew it,” “As always” and “Again”... How many knightly hearts they broke...
The ability to not pay attention to his mistakes, to support him in a timely manner without humiliating him is what can make a woman the best for him.
The princess openly admired the prince's valor and courage
How often do we admire our husband’s ability to fix a faucet or carry heavy bags? Do we see the strengths of our men - or do we focus on their weaknesses?
What we pay attention to increases. And if you constantly nag and be dissatisfied, new reasons for dissatisfaction will appear. And if you admire courage, responsibility, and the ability to care, they will also grow.
After the prince saved her, she completely surrendered to him
She threw herself on his neck and at his feet. She thanked me from the bottom of her heart. And he took her to his house. The one who saved her became the husband.
When a man kills a mammoth, do we always joyfully thank him? Or do we sometimes take it for granted? Or do we even evaluate the harvested mammoth, comparing it with yesterday’s and our neighbor’s?
How to inspire a man?
If one of the points below is relevant to you, then this article will be useful to you.
A man lying on the couch and playing games? A man does not want to grow and progress? A man does not believe in himself and doubts his endeavors? The man is purposeful, and you want him to be even more successful?
Before I begin, I would like to express my sincere gratitude for your interest in this matter.
In my opinion, masculinity manifests itself in the results it creates in life. For yourself, your family, environment, society. Personally, I find it difficult to respect lazy, idle men. And I don’t want to justify them in any way.
But I understand that I can be useful by sharing my vision of how a woman can influence such a man, even if he was raised that way or has become one (which also often happens).
So…
6 steps to inspire a man
1. Are you inspired yourself?
99% of girls and women who ask me this question are, in fact, lacking inspiration themselves. They are not happy with their own life, although in appearance everything may be very good.
Yes, yes, I can already hear: “I have circumstances! When should I take care of myself?! Work, children, credit.”
Undress completely and go to the mirror. HONESTLY look into your eyes, then at yourself from head to toe, spin around, seeing yourself from different angles. And now again in the eyes...
And ask: “Am I inspired?”
Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? What are your goals (that charge)?
Two magic words: Take care of yourself!
Your appearance, your body, your mood, your hobbies, your Life.
Get inspired first! And you will see how your man begins to move. Next, follow the following points so that your movements begin to translate into actions...
2. Stop criticizing, condemning, evaluating, comparing.
Because it's pointless. This only makes the situation worse.
“Why aren’t you doing anything?” “When will you find a job?” “Sergei (neighbor) is so-and-so-cool, but you are not.” "I'm tired of waiting."
This might work in the short term. But “under fire” is not the best motivation in a relationship.
3. Turn off the mode of psychologist, coach, consultant, mother, grandmother, mentor.
Undoubtedly, you know better how to live, build a career, develop a business, communicate with parents :). But if a man does not ask for your advice, then this means exactly that he does not need it!
“Yaroslav, what to do when a man asks for advice? Then can we play a role-play game “Coach and client”?”
Also no. Write down a magical phrase (and tell it to all the girls you know):
-...Dear, since you ask, then of course I can advise which employee is best to hire. Yes, I have modest experience as a (chief) HR person (10 years), but I’m sure you know better and can make the best decision! You are so smart and strong (smile).
-I want to hear your advice. (He is adamant).
-Fine. I think it's better to hire Sergei Petrov for that reason. But the final decision is yours :) I hit you on the cheek.
4. “Consult” technique.
"Cute.
I understand that these are difficult times. At the same time, I want to hear your advice: what should I correct/improve in myself to help you get a job/start a business/solve the issue. I agree that I am imperfect and I have room to grow. And I worry about us, I’m scared... What if I get fired from my job... What will we live on? Please advise what I should do? 5. Do you believe in your man?
Let's just be honest?.. If, honestly, you don't believe that he can succeed in something, then maybe you don't believe in yourself, or why do you need such a relationship?
It is important for a man to know and hear (not rarely) that a woman believes in him, no matter what. Especially during difficult periods of life.
You need to start believing in a man with the thoughts in your head. What you think a man is is what he will become.
6. Continue to love.
You heard right. Continue to express love.
What do most people do when something goes wrong in a relationship? They are offended, angry, distant, manipulated, etc. And the further it goes, the less the [once] strong union resembles the love of two people.
But if you love a man, then you should not “play games” in attempts to attract attention to yourself.
Start with point 1. This is usually the key reason why a man lies on the couch or stops loving and respecting you. Start with yourself, yes!
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