Studies have shown that the stress that a person regularly receives in the process of work, over time, leads him to prolonged depression, the risk of heart problems, and cancer. Such consequences are especially dangerous for people who are responsible and have strong feelings about their superiors’ reaction to their work. They are the ones who are most nervous at work, which means they put themselves at risk more than other employees.
But how can you stop worrying if your boss constantly shouts and demands that complex tasks be completed in the shortest possible time, colleagues are constantly “washing up bones” and gossiping on every corner, and the work itself is impossibly boring and monotonous? Let's figure it out.
Causes of anxiety at work
CONTENT:
Stressful influences not only affect an employee’s productivity, but also their overall well-being. Psychologists have identified a number of common reasons that can turn going to work into an ordeal. These include:
Too much work
Some managers do not know how to correctly assess the labor potential of their employee and literally overwhelm him with all sorts of assignments and tasks. As a result, a person quickly loses interest in activities, feels tired and exhausted, he does not get enough sleep and when he comes to his workplace he dreams of only one thing - to get home faster.
Too little work
As paradoxical as it may sound, a small number of work responsibilities also negatively affects the individual. He begins to doubt his value to the company, becomes frustrated by his precarious position in the social hierarchy, and constantly fears being fired.
Inconsistency in management instructions
If a company has several bosses, each of whom sees the work process differently, then this often ends with the employee not understanding what the bosses want from him. In psychology, this is called role conflicts, and the usual reaction to them in an ordinary employee is stress and a feeling of depression.
Monotonous activity
Experts have found that people who do interesting and useful work are less nervous at work than those who consider their work a boring and thankless task. Indeed, monotonous, event-less work is fraught with consequences in the form of stress disorders in the employee. He constantly longs for time to pass faster, and therefore remains in a permanent state of mental tension, expressed in the form of existential emptiness and low self-esteem.
"Toxic" team
In some cases, the cause of unnecessary unrest at work is malicious and vindictive colleagues who create conflicts out of nowhere and try to solve personal problems at the expense of other employees. Finding a person in such a society quickly leads to a devaluation of professional qualities and a negative perception of oneself as a “scapegoat.” As a result, he will think less about work, worrying about his survival surrounded by such mental “sharks” and “snakes”.
Authoritarianism and intemperance of management
If a manager constantly monitors his subordinates in the hope of catching them not following the rules of the organization, shouts at them to his heart's content, indulging in his own importance, and also allows himself to have an unethical and cynical attitude towards employees, then his employees are unlikely to be able to boast of a strong nervous system.
So, having found out the factors that provoke nervousness at work, let’s move on to directly solving the problem.
How not to be annoyed with employees
We spend most of our time at work, where there may be a person who constantly annoys us - a colleague, a boss, a subordinate. This makes it difficult to concentrate on work and takes away strength and energy. What to do about it? Elvira Titova, psychologist, head of the training, believes that you need to understand the root of the problem, then the right ways to solve it will be found. Later in the article we will look at the question of how not to get annoyed with employees.
Reasons for irritation with employees
The reasons can be divided into obvious and unclear. Most often, we know what irritates us in a person - unprofessionalism and stupidity, laziness and irresponsibility, deceit, duplicity, selfishness, arrogance. Sometimes there is a constant unpleasant odor - sweat, perfume or cigarettes. The manner of speaking is too loud, too fast, with a speech impediment. The manner of communication is always with sarcasm, inappropriate humor or constant complaints about life. Upstarts are also annoying, people who consider their own opinion to be the only correct one, who constantly argue, who are constantly offended, who are rude and tactless.
Depending on the cause, it is necessary to find ways out of the state of irritation. You should always remember two things: colleagues are not friends, which means your attitude towards them should be even, neutral, you cannot re-educate adults - you can only change your attitude towards them. If you don’t have a friendly relationship with someone, as Elvira Titova, psychologist, head of the training group, says, you need to focus on work. In the end, we come to work to work, not to make friends.
Irritation at unprofessionalism and stupidity
Professionalism comes with age, provided that a person is not lazy. If a colleague constantly asks questions and seems stupid, this does not mean that he is one. The one who asks wants to know means he strives to increase the level of knowledge.
What to do? We need help, according to psychologist John Arbstheim. The irritation will go away if you understand that each time your colleague becomes more competent, he does not ask the same questions a hundred times.
Irritation with employees. Laziness and irresponsibility
This is much worse. Such a colleague pulls the entire team back. Irritation will never go away on its own until the conflict is resolved. Usually they quickly part with such colleagues, or force them to work as expected. Therefore, you won’t have to be irritated for a long time. True, there are difficult cases when a lazy employee is someone’s passion.
What to do? Psychologist Sergei Klyuchnikov is sure that there is only one way out - to abstract oneself and communicate less with this person.
Irritation at deceitful and duplicitous employees
Insincere people do not inspire trust; moreover, they can let you down at any moment. They are dangerous with their intrigues, gossip, and can ruin the image of any colleague and their boss. Such irritation is difficult to suppress.
What to do? According to psychologist Elvira Titova, the solution is to say directly what you don’t like, to catch lies in the facts. It is useless to appeal to conscience; you just need to be more careful about the opinion of such a colleague and all his words, as well as dose out information for him. Usually this type causes attacks of irritation. Switching your attention to some objects or actions around you, which you need to mentally name to yourself, will help relieve a negative feeling. Any way can distract and relieve tension, even a short physical action - you can walk along the corridor, make coffee, clean up your desk.
What is called “giving vent to anger” also helps. Otherwise, breakdowns will occur. To prevent breakdowns, according to Nina Lukina, a communications expert, coach and consultant, organize five minutes of “anger” intentionally and not at work. Allow yourself to express all your dissatisfaction out loud, beat a pillow or punching bag, tear the paper. Any convenient method will do. Fulfill your daily quota of indignation and, perhaps, “whining.” There is no need to try to be an iron man 24 hours a day. This way you will free most of the day from negative emotions.
Irritation with employees. Unpleasant odors, irritating manner of speaking.
These are human characteristics that are difficult to change. It will not be possible to correct with reproaches and comments; you can only cause reciprocal irritation, or, at best, misunderstanding.
What to do? Psychologist Sergei Klyuchnikov offers this option. You can ask your colleague not to wear perfume that irritates you, or ask him to speak more quietly and more clearly each time. In some cases this helps temporarily. More often you have to put up with the peculiarities of your colleague. To relieve irritation, you will have to learn to see good traits, manners, qualities in a person and focus on the positive. There is something good in every person.
Irritation with employees. Selfishness and arrogance
People who try to assert themselves at the expense of others are usually arrogant. Arrogance is characteristic of people who lack self-confidence. To hide their fears and doubts, such people wear a mask. And they try to raise their own opinion of themselves at the expense of others, as well as to impress others, since they are very dependent on the opinions of others. Selfishness, unlike arrogance, is characteristic of everyone, but some skillfully hide it, others do not bother themselves with it.
What to do? Psychologist Vladimir Pozdnyakov is sure that we must try to put a person in his place. If you have the ability to parry beautifully, then you need to use it. This is usually sobering because it puts the insecure person in an awkward position. Afraid of being ridiculed, he will not dare to risk his own image next time. If parrying is not your thing, limit communication with your colleague to a minimum.
Irritation with employees complaining about life
Whiners cause great irritation, but they themselves enjoy savoring problems.
What to do? Psychologist Sergei Klyuchnikov recommends avoiding the conversation, switching the dialogue to another topic, and under no circumstances agreeing.
Irritation at rudeness and tactlessness
These, unfortunately, are common irritants. Some of them simply cannot behave differently due to their character and upbringing. Others do it deliberately in order to humiliate another and elevate themselves, to show their own superiority through rudeness. Oddly enough, loudmouths usually win and people listen to them. But there is control here too.
What to do? With some people you need to speak their language. The opinion that one should not stoop to their level is not entirely accurate. Some people only understand rudeness. Fortunately, there are not many such congenital rude people; the rest are spoiled by promiscuity. And in order not to be like them, you must always avoid disputes, not allowing you to be drawn into someone else’s play on words. If words sting, irritation appears, you should say out loud what you don’t like. Before you let your anger come out, count to yourself to ten and take two or three deep breaths. And when left alone, tell yourself again what exactly is annoying.
A universal remedy against irritation with employees
All psychologists are unanimous in their belief that any negative emotions, including irritation, can be removed by physical actions. No books, films, or conversations will distract you enough to quickly calm down. Much more effective is a walk, jogging, cleaning the table, room, and exercise. It’s not for nothing that there are whipping dolls. The principle is the same - action.
Although there is still no universal remedy for irritation. You will have to look for something of your own, relying on the experience of others and your own feelings.
For example, the General Director of JSC RCC “Zemlya” Dina believes that if a stressful situation arises suddenly, it is necessary to immediately abstract it, describing it on paper in a third person. This is one of the meditation options that helps develop the ability to maintain attention on a chosen object, regardless of external factors and internal dialogues.
How not to be nervous about an angry boss at work: psychological recommendations
Experts agree that the bitterness of management is the first reason for the unnecessary nerves and anxiety experienced by the employee. A person may tolerate the boss’s antics due to the fear of losing his job and the thought that “others tolerate it, and I will tolerate it.” However, such a strategy is fraught with both psychological and physical disorders. There are two ways out of the situation - either quit or change your attitude to the situation.
But if you can “leave slamming the door” at any moment, then staying and overcoming difficulties is more difficult, but there are also more advantages from this. Besides, no one guarantees you that at the next job the boss won’t be even angrier than he is now. Let's find out what psychologists suggest to do when faced with a similar problem:
- Put yourself in the boss's shoes . Managers often live in an atmosphere of constant lack of time, and this contributes to the emergence of irritability and anger, which they pour out on the employee who comes along. Try to treat your boss's outbursts of anger more calmly, as an inevitable but harmless event. Let him scream if he feels better, and at this time you smile internally and do not show that you are afraid of him. Over time, the boss will understand that you are not a “whipping boy”, and therefore will switch to a less balanced colleague.
- See the boss as an ordinary person . Yes, your boss is a person just like you. He also doesn’t always have time to drink coffee before work, his shoelaces may come undone in a crowded place, or he may get his tie tangled while eating. Awareness of the leader’s “ordinariness” will help you experience his attacks not as a disaster, but as evidence of weakness.
- Look for the reason for what is happening within yourself . If your boss often snaps at you, then ask yourself, “Why did he choose me to attack?” Perhaps something in your behavior irritates him? Or are you regularly late for work? Or do you like to chat with colleagues during working hours? If this is the case, then simply change your destructive habits and your manager’s attitude towards you will immediately change for the better.
- Voice your complaints . Oddly enough, this method really works. Sometimes it is enough for a boss to hear a straightforward confession from an employee in order to correct his own behavior. Therefore, do not be afraid and directly tell him that you are very worried about the constant fear of being punished.
- Threaten with dismissal . If you are a highly qualified specialist in your field, then one of the methods of influencing your boss may be the threat of dismissal. However, it must be served in the most delicate form possible. For example: “Yakov Borisovich, I respect you as a person and a leader, but if you don’t stop yelling at me, then keep in mind that I will submit my resignation today.”
Visualization
Irritation comes from anger, and anger comes from overexertion. Accordingly, you need to try to relax and defuse the situation. You can do this in the following way.
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When you talk to a person who annoys you, imagine ridiculous and funny details that would make the image of your interlocutor funny. For example, that he is standing in a bunny suit, that he has deer antlers on his head, etc. When you feel funny from such a visualization, then your mood will improve and the irritation will go away.
You can also mentally take out your irritation on an unpleasant person. Imagine hitting him over the head with a folder of documents.
Unhealthy atmosphere in a team: how to maintain nerves and peace
Sometimes the source of nervousness at work is colleagues who trip up a person and annoy him with nagging, gossip and unrealistic expectations. You can preserve the nervous system in such an atmosphere in the following ways:
- Realize that it is not your fault that your colleagues are bad people . And do not try to change them, as they will not appreciate your attempts to be a source of enlightenment and prudence. Therefore, come to terms with what is happening and feel like an explorer who has found himself in the wild jungle. This will significantly weaken the impact of any provocations on you.
- Find allies . It is easier to resist the bad influence of the team in tandem with one of the employees. If a lonely person is an ideal target for attacks, then two people who mutually support each other are no longer so easily angered.
- Don't react to inappropriate behavior . Psychologists recommend that those who are constantly “harrassed” at work learn “psychological aikido,” that is, agree with any accusations without any emotional reaction. To put it simply, live according to the wisdom “the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.”
- Avoid gossip . Discussion among colleagues is a rust that slowly eats away any team from the inside. Schemers indulge their ego by gossiping about other people and savoring the details of their personal lives. They gain confidence with the help of affection and flattery, presenting secrets to others in exchange for mutual revelations. As a result, after some time, everyone in the team hates each other, and the gossiper benefits from others’ hatred, thereby strengthening his position in the hierarchy of the organization.
4Don't forget about yourself
If you burn out emotionally at work or develop hypertension, who will appreciate it? That's right, no one cares about this, everyone lives in their own personal world. Therefore, do not let life pass you by, do not deny yourself the pleasure of taking a vacation or a day off and spending it with your family in nature. This will strengthen your psyche and eliminate the risk of overwork.
In conclusion, I would like to say that it is impossible to completely get rid of anxiety at work. But a person can always make the impact of stress on himself as insignificant as possible. To do this, it is enough to carefully monitor your condition, relate to problems more easily and not focus on negative events.
