How to get rid of negative thoughts and defeat destructive thinking

Where do negative thoughts come from?

There are several factors and reasons that provoke destructive thoughts in a person.

1. Anxiety . Negative thoughts appear when you start to worry that something bad might happen. Or, on the contrary, you think that nothing good will happen to you. This is where your imagination comes in. It paints a vivid picture of your sad future, once you think about the worst case scenario.
2. Feelings of guilt and regret . All people make mistakes. Negative thinking develops when we constantly remember them and return to the past. We feel embarrassed and ashamed. We get angry and blame ourselves for doing wrong. But this experience is needed in order to draw conclusions and move on.
3. Increased demands on yourself . Overly self-critical people obsess over their shortcomings. They are unhappy with themselves most of the time. And therefore their thoughts are also predominantly negative.
4. Problems . Negative thinking forces a person to concentrate on the problems that have arisen. And the person completely forgets about what good he has in life. Destructive thoughts greatly exaggerate the scale of the problem. Instead of thinking about how to cope with difficulties, a person simply becomes depressed.
5. Dependence on material things . If your happiness depends entirely on having material goods, then you are a negative thinker. There is nothing wrong with wanting more and striving for it. However, when we focus on what we don't have, we become stressed and anxious. Life begins to seem incomplete, although it is worth paying attention to what we already have.
6. Failures . If you have suffered one failure, then you should not transfer your attitude to the entire situation as a whole. For example, being rejected at an interview does not mean that you will not be able to get a job. Failure is a valuable lesson, not a reason for destructive thinking.

So, negative thoughts arise mainly in two cases:

• when we regret past mistakes, think about problems;
• when we worry about our future, that everything will go wrong, or we won’t get something.

Such reasoning can greatly harm us.

The benefits of negative thinking

Yes, negative thinking does not play into a person’s hands, but this does not mean that one should be afraid of it like fire. In some cases, it turns out to be useful and can bring good benefits to its “owner”. Let us give several reasons in favor of this.

More chances of success

If we turn to cinema, we can see that in most film scripts there are moments when the main character finds himself completely defenseless, for example, without money, in captivity of a villain, etc. Such moments are the culmination. And only after the hero understands that he cannot influence the situation in any way, some external forces begin to help him.

Oddly enough, this happens not only in films. In almost all critical life situations there are moments where we find ourselves defenseless - at the mercy of circumstances. We may not know what to do next, wait for a response from a business partner, not understand how the stock market will behave, or simply get lost in the forest...

According to survival theory, the chances of success increase greatly when we fully accept the situation, including its most negative aspects. That's when we can count on either being able to cope with everything or failing, and until that moment we can only count on losing.

Our chances of not getting into a complete mess will be higher only if, in the process of preparing for any event, we think negatively and take into account the worst-case scenario and prepare for it. And if we realize that we cannot prepare, we must be prepared for things to get worse.

Maximum energy and strength

It doesn’t matter in which direction you want to develop and achieve success, because, most likely, there are some fears, pressures, complexes, and blocks in your mind. By thinking negatively, you can face whatever you're afraid of, bring it out, write it down, and begin to actively work through it.

By courageously and directly looking your fears and phobias in the eye, you will not only be able to study your enemy, which is preventing you from achieving success, but you will also activate hidden potential, because... you will begin to use the emotions, strength and energy that you spent years holding yourself back and standing still, instead of moving forward.

In addition, accepting all your disadvantages and shortcomings is accepting yourself as you are - real, without embellishment, being honest with yourself. And this, in turn, gives you a magical feeling of inner freedom, because you no longer need to put on masks and prove something to someone, meet someone’s expectations.

An objective picture of what is happening

During World War II, the US military asked scientists to calculate where it would be more optimal to install armor on aircraft. To do this, they provided scientists with information about the holes with which bombers most often returned from combat missions. It was supposed to install armor in these places.

However, a specialist named Abraham Wald suggested looking for those places on the planes that were not hit by enemy shots. There were no holes in these places for the reason that if they had been hit there, the plane would have crashed immediately. And, of course, no one studied the previously crashed planes, so the vulnerable spots were simply not noticed. As a result, this idea saved the lives of many military pilots.

People for the most part pay attention to those who win and achieve success, but do not care about those who fail. But the lack of opportunity to study failures and falls does not provide a chance to see an objective picture of the state of affairs, which leads to incorrect conclusions. So here, too, negative thinking is a plus - you need to study mistakes.

Ready for anything

Anyone who has ever been interested in samurai and their psychology knows that they carefully prepared for each battle. And at one stage of this preparation they imagined themselves to be dead. Death was the worst case scenario, which the fearless warriors wholeheartedly accepted.

The prospect of death ceased to be so frightening, and was no longer a distraction during the fight. Knowing that he was already “dead,” the samurai could fight with concentration and not worry about his life, which made his actions more effective. And here we can draw an analogy with our daily life and everything we do.

If we are afraid that something will go wrong, the likelihood that it will happen increases many times over. On this side, negative thinking allows you to prepare for a meeting with “death”, and therefore be able to “fight fearlessly” at the right moment. But other options cannot be ignored.

Think over a more optimistic scenario, which, although not as dangerous and fatal as the first, also requires preparation. And together with the second scenario, the third is the most likely. It needs to be worked out in as much detail as possible in order to always be able to make some kind of non-standard decision.

High efficiency

What can you do to become more effective in life, study, work or business? Yes, planning, collecting information, and learning useful skills and abilities will come in handy here. But it’s also equally important to present as many options as possible when things don’t go your way.

If you work with partners, think about the possibilities that they will set you up. If you are assessing the competitiveness of a business, write down several scenarios in which your company fails. If you are choosing a place to move, think about what could happen that would make life in a new place a burden, etc.

Counting only on the best is, of course, good, but such an approach can be called childish. Sometimes you don’t need to avoid negative thoughts, but on the contrary, you need to specifically develop them. This will allow you to take into account various risks and pitfalls, develop a strategy for action in extreme conditions, which in itself will make you more effective.

This is how you can use negative thinking to your advantage. Although the line between “useful” and “harmful” negative thinking is very thin and blurry. When thinking about the bad with benefit for yourself, it is very important not to slide into the bottomless abyss of destructive emotions and states. This issue requires a serious and responsible approach.

And, returning to the topic of fighting negative thinking, we note that meditation helps to resist it and at the same time begin to develop a calm, adequate and conscious attitude towards the outside and inner world. So we want to conclude our article with a few words about this wonderful practice.

What is the danger

I once came across an interesting comparison. Imagine your mind is like a garden. You look after him. By planting seeds of useful and beautiful plants - positive thoughts, you will receive a rich harvest. As soon as you stop caring for your garden, it will be filled with weeds - negative thoughts. You will no longer have a wonderful harvest.

Our thoughts shape our reality. What we think and feel is what we end up getting.

Destructive thinking causes us great harm.

1. Attracts negativity into life . Negative thoughts attract bad events into our lives. This is the essence of the law of attraction. If we think bad things, they will definitely happen.
2. Breaks the psyche . Our thoughts give rise to emotions. Negative thinking causes us to worry, worry, fear, and feel guilty. It aggravates existing problems and distorts the perception of reality. A person who is in the grip of destructive thoughts for a very long time becomes depressed. He develops various nervous disorders. There is a destruction of oneself from within.
3. It undermines health . People who tend to think negatively often have health problems. And the reason lies precisely in the way of thinking. Scientists have proven that many diseases are psychosomatic in nature, that is, they depend specifically on the internal state of a person and his emotions. For example, as soon as a person gets very nervous, herpes appears on his lips.

It would seem that these are just thoughts, but how much they can harm us. To prevent negative thinking from driving us into depression, let's learn to manage it.

A bad influence on others

If you are essentially worried (due to some serious problem or due to an internal conflict), this is normal. It is important not to get stuck in this state and not feed yourself with negative emotions and thoughts for a long time. Because if your bad mood lasts a week or more, whether you like it or not, it affects your loved ones, friends, colleagues. And believe me, this is not at all what they would like to receive from communicating with you. But no one canceled empathy and support, of course. Just don't let negative thoughts rule your life.

How to manage negative thoughts

Many people try in every possible way to get rid of unpleasant thoughts. The simplest thing a person can do is to drive away bad thoughts. Swing them away like an annoying fly. I will say right away that this method is ineffective. On the contrary, it can worsen the situation.

By actively resisting destructive thinking, a person sinks even deeper into it. I want to offer you another way to stop thinking negatively. It will help to completely clear your consciousness and mind from unpleasant and harmful judgments.

Step 1. Realize

As soon as a bad thought arises in your head, accept it. Recognize that it exists and don't try to make it go away. So, instead of actively reacting to the thought, you will simply observe it. And this will make you independent of destructive thinking.

Look at your negative thought from all angles. This may be a productive idea that will help you make the right decision. As a result, you will become more prosperous thanks to it. Or maybe it's one of those harmful thoughts that just ruin your mood and create negative emotions.

If your negative thoughts are caused by concern for your family and friends, then you will not run away from them. Accept them for who they are. But only for a short period of time. You can tell yourself that you really care about your loved one. This is fine. But don't let these thoughts get the better of you.

Step 2. Find the reason

Until you find the reason why a specific negative thought regularly comes to you, you will not get rid of it. Ask yourself the question: “Why do I think this?” Finding the answer will also help you determine whether a negative judgment is true or false. At this point, you can either accept this negative thought or let it go forever. It's up to you to decide.

Step 3. Replace negative with positive

You have already learned to separate negative thoughts that spoil your well-being from constructive ones. At this stage, you need to replace negative reasoning with positive ones. After all, it is positive thinking that helps us achieve goals and improves our internal state. And it’s just nice to think about something good.

Now the problem cannot ruin your mood and life. Feel free to break it down into specific tasks and complete them gradually. We solved the problem and became happier.

So, when you find yourself thinking like, “I'm worthless! Life is passing me by!”, immediately change it to the opposite: “I am a unique and unusual person! Everything is ahead of me!” Do you think it won't work? It will work! You cannot think about both bad and good at the same time. Take away the power of a negative thought over you. Let there be only positivity in your mind and in your reality.

How to understand that my thinking is negative - test

Which of the following statements would you agree with?

1. I don't like to understand something new.
2. I'm not interested in watching new movies/books because I like the old ones more.
3. I like it when life goes on as usual.
4. In life you need to be prepared for any sudden changes.
5. I often remember past events and feel sad.
6. I want my life to become better, but I don’t know how to do it.
7. I want to be lucky in a lottery/competition one day.
8. I have a hard time getting along with new people.
9. In a person, I notice first of all shortcomings, and only then advantages.

If you agree with 5 or more statements, then you can be called a person prone to negative thinking.

Negative thinking robs a person of a lot of vitality and energy, prevents him from experiencing joy and happiness, and deprives him of new positive experiences. That is why it is necessary to change your character for the better and develop positive thinking traits.

Methods of dealing with negativity

Negative judgments do not appear out of nowhere. We have already found out the reasons that provoke them. Fighting thoughts without eliminating the cause is ineffective. We must eliminate the negativity within ourselves, because it gives rise to negative judgments. I offer you several effective methods.

Affirmations

Affirmations are special phrases that set a person up for a positive wave, which he pronounces to himself. By saying affirmations every day, you become more confident in yourself, attract positivity and don’t let problems get the better of you.

Affirmations are effective not only in difficult periods, but also in any life situations when everything seems to be fine. The more often you tell yourself pleasant, life-affirming phrases, the faster you will believe it.

There are a huge number of affirmations for women, for men, to attract good luck, prosperity, health, love, etc. Here are examples of affirmations:

• I am irresistible, radiate positivity and look great;
• luck accompanies me in everything;
• I am a healthy, happy and successful person;
• I am a wonderful specialist and receive decent remuneration;
• I am full of love and open to new relationships.

You can come up with similar inspiring and motivating phrases for yourself. They will help you improve your self-esteem. On our website you will also find an article about how to love yourself.

Work and hobbies

Bad thoughts love to visit us in our free time or when we are alone. And they have no chance at all if we are passionate about the matter. Work distracts us from negative thoughts. To overcome negativity, you need to constantly be busy with something. Then there will be no time left for unpleasant thoughts.

In the evening, make yourself an action plan for the whole next day. By completing planned tasks, you will not only take your mind off heavy thoughts, but also increase your own self-worth. Checking off items on your to-do list will clearly demonstrate that you have already done a lot and achieved a lot.

Meditation

Meditation helps you find peace and get rid of negativity. You immerse yourself in your consciousness, focus on feelings and thoughts, and disconnect from the outside world. Thanks to meditation, you will learn to abstract yourself from problems, cope with resentment, irritation, and anxiety.

To start meditating, you need to create a favorable environment. It is best to do this alone and in complete silence so that extraneous sounds or people do not bother you. You can turn on special music for meditation. It will help you relax and calm down.

The simplest meditation technique is to sit cross-legged, close your eyes, and breathe deeply. Repeat deep inhalations and slow exhalations until your heart rate slows and your thoughts calm down.

Then imagine that you are all alone in a place where there is not a single soul. It could be a forest, a desert, a mountain peak, or a seashore. There you feel secluded and peaceful. Now imagine how all negative thoughts leave you and remain there. At this time, you slowly return to the real world. To achieve complete immersion, you need to practice as often as possible.

Techniques for getting rid of negative thoughts

Working on thinking requires a lot of effort. I found several interesting techniques that will help you learn not to focus on the negative at the initial stage.

Rubber

This technique helps you control yourself and your thinking. Put a bracelet or elastic band on your hand. As soon as you catch yourself in a negative thought, change the bracelet to your other hand. Or you can pull back the rubber band and snap your wrist.

Aquarium

Imagine that your thoughts are fish in an aquarium. Bad thoughts swim in the form of ugly, ugly fish, and good thoughts swim in the form of bright and colorful fish. It's like you're watching them from the outside. Which fish do you prefer to look at? I am sure that they are smart, beautiful and active. So, fill the aquarium of your consciousness with colorful fish that are pleasing to the eye.

Deferred Thoughts

Do bad thoughts haunt you and prevent you from falling asleep? Tell yourself that you will think about it later - for example, tomorrow. Your brain will accept this command and actually put aside unpleasant thoughts. And then, you see, he will completely forget to remind you about them.

Description

Put your negative thoughts on paper. Write as detailed and colorful as possible what you think and feel. Your experiences will leave you and settle on a piece of paper. You won't return to them as often. After all, these arguments have already become history, and therefore remain in the past. To part with them forever, you can even burn what you wrote.

Confusing

Bad thoughts can and should be confused. The wonderful word “but” will help you with this. For example: “I was rejected again. Nothing works out for me... But I have a fashionable jacket!” Even the smallest positive moments can confuse a whole stream of negative judgments. Finding the good things in yourself won't be easy at first. But over time, it will become a habit for you and doing it will be fun and funny.

Psychologist's advice

Here are some more tips from psychologists that will help you take your mind off bad thoughts.

1. Surround yourself with positive people. We adopt the behavior of the people we interact with. By communicating with pessimists, you will also become a pessimist. And destructive thinking will become the norm for you. Communicate with optimists and gain positive energy from them.
2. Tell a loved one about what worries and concerns you. He will listen to you, support you and, perhaps, suggest the right solution to the problem. Psychologists say that sometimes simply expressing your thoughts in a comfortable environment is enough for negative judgments to leave you. This is especially true for women who just need to talk it out.
3. Use deep breathing techniques when you feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts. Take a deep breath to the count of 4 and exhale equally deeply. This will help you calm down and relax.
4. Exercise regularly. Mental and physical health are inextricably linked. Sport helps relieve stress, get rid of tension, and promotes the production of endorphins. And a person in whose body happiness hormones predominate will no longer think destructively.
5. Listen to your favorite music that makes you feel good. Music has a strong influence on our mood. A perky tune, a cheerful rhythm - and now you are smiling, and all bad thoughts have gone away.
6. Focus on what is happening in the present moment. Negative reasoning is either related to the past (regret, guilt) or to the future (fear that something will go wrong or not work out). During such thoughts, you lose touch with the present. I really like the phrase from the cartoon “Kung Fu Panda”: ​​“The past is forgotten, the future is closed, the present is granted.”
7. Thank fate for all the good things in your life, for every day you live. Find joy in small things: sunlight, birdsong, children's laughter, beautiful flowers, etc. Once you understand and feel that happiness is very close - inside you, you will no longer dwell on the negative.

I recommend that you watch a short video in which a young man talks about how he managed to cope with obsessive bad thoughts.

Useful training programs for those who want to get rid of negativity in their heads

I bring to your attention two very cool courses that have collected a lot of positive reviews on the Internet. They help not only to easily get rid of negative thoughts, but also to develop intelligence.

Brain fitness for men and women

Description. When you buy a course on brain fitness, the administration of the Vikium website sends you by mail a specialized device called a “neural interface”. It is needed to analyze the state of your brain and select personal advice and recommendations for you.

The neural interface remains with you forever, you can use it for many years in a row. After this little device counts the electromagnetic waves emanating from your head, it will send them to Vikium, where the data will be analyzed in detail (automatically), and then you will receive instructions for action.

The brain fitness course itself is aimed, on the one hand, at getting rid of all the bad thoughts in your head, at combating stress and nervousness, and on the other, at developing thinking and various other useful qualities. Exercises and free online simulators will help increase your level of attention, improve memory, and imagination.

Authors: developers of the Vikium project.

Cost: 12,990 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

If you don’t want to buy the course, but you like the neural interface, you can purchase it separately. The thing is, however, not cheap - 1,990 rubles.

Brain Detoxification

Description. Brain detoxification is already aimed only at getting rid of negativity. We are not talking about brain development here.

Victor Shiryaev, who is teaching this course, will offer you several practical techniques, exercises and simulators that will help you easily get rid of all the bad thoughts that are spinning in your head or appear there after some events, communicating with unpleasant people, and so on.

When you complete the training and complete all the practical tasks, you will easily get rid of the negative in your head and switch from bad to good. Friends and family will notice a change in you and feel that it has become much more interesting and easier to communicate with you.

Authors: Victor Shiryaev.

Cost: 1,490 rub.

Find out more and sign up for training

These are the two most popular courses. Do you know other programs? Tell us about them in the comments, I will add to the article.

Dealing with Negative Thinking

Many people fall into a stupor, realizing that negative thinking prevails in their minds, because they have the impression that there is no way out of the situation. Of course, working with thinking is an unusual and even difficult process to a certain extent, but it is quite feasible. And this is once again proven by the research and experience of Rick Hanson, mentioned in the first part of the article, as well as other scientists.

For example, MD Edward Selby, in the article Rumination: Problem Solving Gone Wrong (Psychology Today blog), writes that if you load your brain with some all-consuming activity, you can successfully free yourself from the shackles of negative thinking. And such an activity is meditation.

Regular meditation practice and the accompanying development of mindfulness play a huge role in eliminating negative thought patterns. In a 2014 study by Cognitive Therapy and Research, it was discovered that detachment during meditation, aimed at observing thoughts and feelings as temporary and objective processes in the brain, leads to the elimination of the effect of rumination, when a person continues to “chew” the same and the same negative events and emotions.

The fact that meditation and mindfulness help overcome stress, depression and negative thinking is also evidenced by the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction method, developed by the founder of the Stress Reduction Clinic, Jon Kabat-Zinn. And this is another compelling argument in favor of meditation as a way to work through negative thinking.

Of course, there are other options for eliminating negative thinking strategies (you can learn about them in our articles “How to get rid of negative thoughts” and “10 tips to help get rid of negative thoughts”), but we would still like to You paid attention specifically to meditation.

If you want to get more evidence of the benefits it brings, our article “Scientific evidence of the benefits of meditation” is especially for you. We also recommend reading the material “Meditation. How to calm down and fight negative thoughts”, where we collected a lot of interesting information about stress, negative thinking and, of course, meditation practice.

Never ignore the way you think. Try to make your thinking more effective and develop your brain and intellect. All together this can lead you to success in any field and a harmonious and happy life!

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Surprising facts about stress
• What is neurography and how is it useful?
• Neuroplasticity
• Six ways to get rid of brain fog
• Ten thoughts on negative thinking
• How to Keep Your Mind Clear: 15 Great Ways
• What is consciousness?
• Mental detoxification in 7 days
• Things that make us stupid
• 10 myths about the functioning of the brain: truth and fiction

Key words: 1Psychoregulation, 1Self-knowledge