How to understand that you have fallen in love with a guy: signs and tips

Love, affection or sympathy?

When you experience interest in a member of the opposite sex, you cannot always immediately determine what is behind it: is it just sympathy or have you already become attached to him? Or maybe you really fell in love? Let's look at the main differences between these conditions.

State	Peculiarities	What is important to us in this state?
Sympathy	It is expressed in the fact that we like someone or something, we feel an “emotional kinship” with him. Gender, age, status, etc. do not matter. There is no sexual context here. Most often, sympathy arises on the basis of common interests and values.	Positive emotional contact with the object of sympathy, the desire to be in his company and arouse reciprocal sympathy for oneself.
Attachment	The basis of attachment is the habit of being close to someone. Usually appears after a long relationship. Assumes a dependent position on the object of attachment. Relationships usually do not develop, “freeze” in one state, and most often they are reliable and stable.	Stability in relationships and maintaining them by any means, since the fear of losing a loved one is strongest in them.
Love	A strong emotional attraction to another person, a desire for physical intimacy with him. The one with whom we are in love becomes an “ideal”; we highly extol some aspects of his personality, but we may not notice his weaknesses at all.	We strive to evoke a response from our lover, to satisfy personal needs in the relationship, and we want our partner to always remain “ideal.”
Love	Deep sympathy for someone or something. In a romantic relationship, it usually develops from falling in love and involves selflessness and acceptance of the other person with all his strengths and weaknesses. Can occur without sexual desire (love for children, for parents, for the Motherland, etc.)

How to understand that you are in love - 25 signs

You think about this person all the time, you can sometimes even go “to the astral plane” in thoughts about him and not respond to the questions of others. You have dreams about your lover (you may have the same dream several times).
You mentally imagine your date, how you look, what you talk about.
You want physical intimacy with him: hug, kiss, enter into an intimate relationship.
You dream of spending romantic time with this young man: having a candlelight dinner, going to some restaurant, going on a trip with him, or spending your leisure time in some original way.
You want to be aware of everything that happens to him: you ask friends about him, look at pages on social networks.
You feel that your breathing quickens and your heart begins to beat faster when you see the object of your love or hear his voice in the telephone receiver. You feel trembling in your limbs, you may blush when you meet him.
You look forward to messages from him, and you yourself are ready to inundate him with letters.
You can’t sleep for a long time, you are overwhelmed with emotions, and many different thoughts are spinning in your head about the man of your dreams that you met.
You are very susceptible to his words: you fly into seventh heaven if a guy gives a compliment, and you get very upset if you hear criticism from him about you.
You have become much more attentive to your appearance: you want to look more attractive than before (especially if you are going to meet someone you are in love with), and change something about yourself.
You feel a surge of energy, a desire to act and the emergence of new strength.
You began to smile more often, and for no reason.
You see “signs” everywhere and in everything. For example, it turned out that in the past you attended some event at the same time (and you can even remember what this guy was like then). Or by chance you come across films that you recently discussed with him, books that he likes.
You strive to constantly talk about him, tell your friends and colleagues.
You want to create: give your guy some unusual gift, cook something tasty for him, write a poem, etc.
You have become prone to committing impulsive actions (and sometimes even crazy actions). For example, you send him “brave” SMS or “accidentally” walk near his house.
You don’t notice his shortcomings, for you he is the ideal man.
I am ready to devote myself entirely to my beloved: sacrifice personal time, communication with friends, share his interests, listen to him for hours.
Your interest in your previous interests and hobbies has weakened. You devote all your attention to the guy and what he likes and how he lives.
Your musical tastes may change. You suddenly notice that you have begun to love melodramas and romantic comedies (if you didn’t give them preference before).
You forgive a guy even serious offenses because you are afraid of losing him.
You can call him by the name of other men.
You want to sing, dance and enjoy your own feelings.
You want to marry him. It begins to seem to you that this is exactly your man with whom you want to spend your whole life. Of course, thoughts about a serious relationship are good, but you shouldn’t rush, otherwise you can simply scare the young man. It is important here to feel his readiness for such a relationship. So be patient and enjoy your time together.
You start a conversation with the object of your love on serious topics: family, marriage, eternal love and fidelity. Do you want to make joint plans with him?

Read: How to understand that a man is in love

What to do when feelings arise

When you fall deeply in love, you only want to see your chosen one. But in order not to ruin your destiny, you will have to be careful.

Universal reminder

All lovers will need a universal reminder. Having realized your feeling, they act in stages:

They come to terms with it, allow themselves to experience it. Attempts to overcome falling in love are rarely successful. It’s more effective to “get over it” and move on. The more actively they try to forget, the more painfully they love. Humility is calming.
They study love as a scientific phenomenon. The body of a lover produces hormones that create strong feelings. Thanks to phenylethylamine, a person feels emotional satisfaction and becomes more mobile. Norepinephrine increases heart rate and breathing, and increases sweating (if your loved one is nearby). Dopamine is responsible for obsession with a person, the desire to be with him. This substance affects muscle tone, vascular activity, and heart function. Endorphins are hormones of pleasure from interacting with your beloved guy. If one’s own hormones of happiness are almost not released, since a person rarely enjoys life, then falling in love will bring suffering, because the person will be afraid of losing the only source of this substance.
After calming down, they evaluate the situation rationally. They forbid themselves to run after their chosen one, because this can only scare him away. Guys are hunters who are not interested in submissive “prey.” It's worth flirting, remaining mysterious and a little unapproachable.
They examine the behavior of the chosen one, trying to understand him. The feeling may be mutual. In this case, the young man will behave awkwardly and act strangely. He will gladly do a favor and joke, just to see his beloved laugh.

If we are talking about a classmate

If a teenage girl has fallen in love with a handsome boy, one should not take the first tender feelings lightly. Age doesn't matter. Happy is the one who remembers his first love with quiet joy and warmth. In order for your chosen one to reciprocate, you should listen to the advice:

He will like the girl’s activity and sociability. It is worth participating in the life of the school and class, organizing holidays and helping friends. He will notice a purposeful, cheerful girl.
You can get close to a classmate, but do not stalk or be intrusive. It is better to share his hobbies (attend the same sections). There will be common topics and the opportunity to communicate in private.
It’s worth seeing each other in your free time (virtual meetings, city events).
The lover will like the well-groomed, femininity.
Most boys only socialize with girlfriends who smoke and drink. They date feminine and reserved ladies.
You can occasionally show initiative (invite them for a walk, write first). It is important not to scare away your loved one.

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If he is married

A relationship with a married partner can last for years. The loved one promises to get a divorce, but is in no hurry to fulfill his promise and remains with two partners. He is satisfied with having a family and another sexy girlfriend. The mistress at this time lives an unfulfilling life, being in a state of anticipation. A man comes when he has time, spends vacations, holidays and weekends with his wife and child.

He sees that his mistress is ready to endure, so he does not change anything. This is the psychology of most cheaters.

It is worth thinking about your own desires. You can imagine your lover as a legal spouse in detail. It is recommended to imagine how he is nearby every day. Think about what his everyday habits are and think about the real character of a potential husband, because with his mistress he becomes gallant, caring and romantic, but with his wife he does not need to pretend.

It’s better to determine for yourself how much longer you can wait for him to break up with his wife. You can select an exact date. The issue should be discussed with your loved one, avoiding quarrels and raised conversations. If he does nothing, then you will have to come to terms with your role or try to forget him. To do this, they stop dating, do not enter into correspondence, focus on work, hobbies, and appearance. You can plan for the future, imagine yourself married to “your” man, whom you won’t have to share with his family.

If he loves someone else

When wondering what to do if you fall in love, it is worth considering the consequences of interfering in other people's relationships. Most likely versions:

The guy will react aggressively to attempts to flirt with him. He will not like the unceremonious behavior of his acquaintance. This can ruin your friendship with your loved one, or the guy won’t notice the advances.
He will be able to be seduced, but there will be no trust in the new couple, because the chosen one easily left his ex. The thought of ruining someone else's happiness can haunt you for a long time.

It is better to limit contacts with this couple, so all parties will be calmer. But if you don’t have enough strength, then you can become a friend. The connection must be sincere and selfless. You shouldn’t imagine that the guy will gradually fall in love with his girlfriend and leave his other half. It is better to find real mutual feelings.

If it's a teacher

Young girls often call love a common hobby. Psychologists believe that this attachment occurs when:

The girl's father was not involved in raising her (she needs male support).
The girl suffers from teenage complexes (she doesn’t believe in her relevance among her peers, so she’s looking for a wiser and more understanding man).
She is driven by the need to assert herself (the attention of an authoritative adult is good for this).

Most often, falling in love with a teacher is due to the fact that the child is deprived of the attention of his family. A girl should direct her feelings in a positive direction (learn the subject of her favorite teacher, try hard in class, work extra). You can study other areas in which a man is interested (sports, music). Love will become the motivation for self-development. A man will definitely notice an organized, successful and athletic girl.

You can confess your feelings to the teacher, but you need to remember about criminal liability for relationships with a teenager and the possible dismissal of your loved one, disapproval of colleagues. It is important to prepare for refusal, to accept this answer calmly and with understanding. You shouldn't stalk your crush on social media.

If he is much older

There is nothing wrong in such a relationship if both agree with it. But when one partner considers the relationship forbidden, this is the first step towards ending it. If a man sees a little girl in his girlfriend, then she gives reason to think so. It’s worth working on your manner of speaking and thinking about your actions. A mature man wants to be with a mature personality (brave, independent, strong).

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If a girl has to put on a mask of maturity, then one day the image will be destroyed. It is worth considering your partner’s social circle and lifestyle. A girl may get bored from the measured rhythm and adult company. It is necessary to clarify with your loved one what kind of connection he is counting on: temporary flirting or a serious relationship. Only by finding this out honestly can you make a decision.

If the guy is much younger

Sometimes partners understand each other well. But often such couples face problems. To avoid them, a woman should consider the following recommendations:

You cannot treat your loved one condescendingly. This will hurt the guy's self-esteem.
It is worth wearing outfits that emphasize feminine attractiveness. The young man will like to realize that the chosen one is not inferior to his peers.
It's better to let the guy dominate.
It is important to focus on the qualities of your loved one. Youth is a temporary state. His character, thinking and feelings are important.
The age difference becomes a source of complexes and jealousy. It is better to enjoy love rather than torment yourself with suspicion.

Object of adoration - celebrity

Romantic feelings for actors and singers are considered morbid fanaticism. But from this love you can get useful experience. Love motivates girls to change and develop. A high goal appears to become a “star” in your favorite field. Girls study the lifestyle and tastes of their idol, expanding their horizons. There are negative sides: real guys seem boring and are no longer attractive. It is difficult to get carried away by an ordinary person after intense feelings for a famous singer.

You can join fan groups and fan clubs of your idol. There will be an opportunity to see him during one of the meetings. In real communication, the idol may turn out to be a complete stranger.

What to do if you fall in love?

Of course, the answer suggests itself - to love, enjoy life and relationships. And to be more specific:

Spend more time on yourself: both on your appearance and on your inner world. It is important that you like yourself and consider yourself attractive. It is useful to rewatch the film “I am the most charming and attractive” at your leisure; it does not lose its relevance. If possible, work with internal problems and complexes. Their presence may not have the best effect on the success of the relationship. If we are overwhelmed or upset about something, we are unable to fully surrender to our feelings.
When meeting the object of your love, radiate lightness and a positive mood. Men love it.
Smile more often. This always suits women.
The main thing at first is interesting communication and friendship. Achieve this goal first. And then the relationship will reach a new level. Be patient and don't rush things.
Maintain communication (in meetings, by phone, SMS, on social networks), without letting yourself be forgotten. But under no circumstances be intrusive. After all, men love to conquer a lady.
Don't come up with some stunning image for yourself that contradicts your natural behavior in order to win his heart. Be yourself, don't try to pretend.
Be interested in his hobbies so that you can communicate about topics that are important to him.
When communicating with a guy, call him by name more often and don’t miss the opportunity to give an appropriate compliment.
Develop as a whole as a person, don’t focus only on the object of love. The more active your life is, the more interests and things to do in it, the more enthusiasm you will feel and you will look more confident and attractive.

Read: How to attract a man's attention

The main signs of falling in love

The two main signs of falling in love are euphoria and obsession with your partner. The girl instantly remembers him, cannot be distracted, constantly imagines something, strives to get closer to the guy.

READ How to understand that a girl is in love, but hides her feelings

Sometimes it is not clear how to understand that you are actually in love. Not everyone succeeds in this, so don’t beat yourself up about it. After some period of time, everything will fall into place.