There are a lot of questions and answers around dating, but we’ll find out today how to properly invite a girl on your date! But stop, first things first! Don’t be scared by such a copious amount of “How?!” In fact, the truth is nearby, I would even say “within you”!
A huge number of pretty girls are waiting for a prince, and it may very well be you!
Practical advice from Pasha - the first date is almost in your hands:
Find out 3 reasons for your fear!
You must learn that you can only overcome the “fear of approach” by practicing. The girl senses your lack of self-confidence, it can be seen from afar and such a vice cannot be hidden under clothes.
Almost always, a guy is stopped by the possibility of hearing a woman’s “NO.” Doesn't it look terrible even here? However, the fear of rejection is only half the story; the rest of the trouble is a variety of complexes, which often do not exist at all.
Main reasons:
- Fear of hearing a refusal.
- Feeling of own inferiority (Like, why does she need me, she can find something better!)
- A girlish way of putting herself above and turning guys' attempts into torture!
There is a cure for all ills and a few simple steps to the woman you want!
From preparation to date in 3 stages
It is necessary to understand that there is no ideal, everyone has a flaw. This is normal, a person is not a machine! Love yourself for who you are, your weaknesses and strengths. Life will become easier, you will react more calmly to yourself!
Fear of rejection is normal, as no one wants to realize that they are not worthy of the best.
Self-confidence is acquired through successful experiences in the past. The more there is, the better!
When you see a girl you would like to meet, but don’t know the best way to do it, your brain begins to calculate all sorts of options, starting with which? That's right, the most unfavorable ones, since it is the unfortunate events in the past that contribute to your isolation in the present.
This system “bug” can only be eliminated by new, positive experience, and it can only be obtained through live communication. You ask: what if the sight of women paralyzes me?
Answer: Don't think about the consequences. If you like it, tell me! If you want it, take it!
Use the right phrases
Are you unsure with your friends too? Don't you have anything to talk about with them? The girl is also your friend, at least initially.
Phrases that can help you make a successful acquaintance:
On the street:
- Hello! Tell me how to have fun? I came to visit a friend, but he has work to do. Join me in the evening!
- Oh, sorry, when will you be free? I want to have dinner with you, give me your number and I’ll call you!
In fact, girls love it when they ask for their competent opinion; coming up with a question shouldn’t be difficult
- You have a great walk! Let me accompany you, and you will show me a good cafe in the evening?
In the bar:
- Hello! It’s my “birthday” tomorrow, let’s have a cocktail with you?
Everything ingenious is simple, and rest assured, this is exactly where you can start getting acquainted
In the park: (or any other place you find yourself)
- Listen, why are you alone? Join me for dinner! I'll treat you =)
But before you start making friends, you need to be able to create and maintain a conversation!
Girls love to talk, but less often to listen. They love the active attention of their interlocutor.
Starting from asking questions about the area in which she specializes and ending with advice regarding your plans. In communication, the communication itself is not so important as how it happens.
Language of the body
If you didn't know this existed, now you know. You know that all these years your timidity and tightness did not pass without a trace, but were and are constantly being expressed in you.
Still from the film “This Stupid Love” – Be sure to watch!
Don’t think that this is a physical problem; on the contrary, it’s metaphysics! If you are a young man who is insecure and self-conscious, then no physical changes will be beneficial. Love yourself as you are! You've heard it before and let it be heard again!
Take care of yourself, your state of mind and remember that nothing in this world is worthy of your experiences. Be more confident in yourself, but also don’t allow too much (this line is not so difficult to find) and changes will begin.
The main way to overcome insecurity is the gym: a boxing section or just athletics, but sport cures many mental problems and shortcomings in general.
Making a phone call - 6 rules of communication
But what if you can only rely on yourself? No hairstyles and expensive wardrobe are visible when communicating on the phone!
There is a separate technique. It is not complicated and, like everything else, it requires practice:
- Be clear
- specific,
- speak easily and in high spirits.
- A girl should feel your smile.
- Remain a man on the phone, don’t give the girl any reason to think that you are chasing her.
- Speak unobtrusively, gradually leading to the desired result - a meeting.
Correct example:
- Listen, how about continuing our conversation tomorrow at 18:00? I think that I will already be free, however, if it doesn’t work out, we’ll reschedule.
It's the most important! Give her a reason to be nervous, so to speak. Let her know her place and not expect feedback from you 24/7
An example of what not to do:
- Hello, you know that, maybe we can continue our conversation, let’s say tomorrow, at 7 pm, do you think you can come?
The difference is obvious, she sees how dependent you are on her decision, how weak-willed you are and you are unlikely to continue
What is a guy worried about when inviting him to a meeting?
Psychologists assure that girls worry no less when they expect a decisive step from their gentleman. Before you ask your loved one out on a date, you need to cope with your fears:
READ
How to beautifully start a conversation with a girl on the Internet: example of dialogues
- Fear of being rejected. A negative result is also a result that will help you analyze the situation and draw conclusions. As the famous saying goes, you can’t be nice by force. If a girl refuses, she may have good reasons for this - or fate has prepared a more profitable and suitable match for the guy.
- Reduced self-esteem. Insecure men don't attract women, and it's not a matter of being demanding or whimsical. The girl, on a subconscious level, is looking for someone who can protect and provide for her. A guy who blushes and stutters is not the best option for creating a serious relationship. Psychologists advise rehearsing a speech and working out a script for several days in order to beautifully invite the girl you like.
- Lack of communication experience. To avoid awkward situations, you need to decide in advance what, how and when to say. The dialogue must be structured in such a way that it goes according to the plan. It is advisable to think through various options for the chosen one’s response in order to be ready to parry them.
- Shyness and modesty. It's a rare guy who has the gift of eloquence and persuasion next to the object of his adoration. Even pick-up artists who give out valuable advice get lost in the company of the girl they love. A little courage at a crucial moment will not hurt, but confidence should not turn into arrogance, swagger or rudeness.
Do not forget that the chosen one is also worried, and it is the guy who is in an advantageous position. He had enough time to prepare and think everything through, and for the woman the proposal would certainly be a surprise.
READ
How to seduce a girl: rules for effective pickup
How to invite on social networks?
This is one of the easiest ways. Here you allow her to get to know you exactly as much as you want. You can’t be seen or even heard, you can’t even feel your body language, so all that is required is to conduct a dialogue competently and interestingly for the interlocutor. But the chances of agreement are very low!
The opposite sex is especially pleased with compliments (she probably has a lot of photographs), but you shouldn’t overdo it. It should be sincere and should in no way seem like flattery.
Support your words with funny pictures or photographs. There is no need to burden the girl with smart and philosophical conversations, be lighter and simpler. But remember to prepare!
Choosing a place for a date
It’s better not to plan anything grandiose and stunning so that the girl doesn’t feel awkward. It is important to take into account your own financial capabilities - despite the growing popularity of feminist ideas, women are still pleased when people pay for them in a cafe. You need to think through the date down to the smallest detail so that the couple can communicate and get to know each other. It wouldn't hurt to have a backup option if the girl doesn't agree to go to the specifically suggested place.
It is advisable to choose leisure activities that will be interesting to both. If the hobbies of a man and a woman are radically different, a neutral option will do: a walk around the city or drinking tea in a cafe. You shouldn’t waste money so that the girl appreciates the creativity of her companion, and not the thickness of his wallet.
Cafe
If a woman “doesn’t eat after six,” you can limit yourself to a light lunch. The main thing in visiting a cafe is not the quantity and sophistication of the dishes, but pleasant communication. Dialogue allows us to reveal new facets of a person, which promotes rapprochement. It’s hard to refuse a cup of aromatic espresso, herbal tea or an airy latte – besides, a modest treat does not oblige you to anything. There is no need to try to impress your companion with your material well-being if you fail to keep up the brand in the future. Before going to a cafe together, you should find out her culinary tastes or give her the right to choose dishes on the spot.
Theater premiere
This option is suitable for true connoisseurs of art, so you need to find out the preferences of the chosen one in advance. An incendiary musical and an interesting production will appeal to most girls, but it is advisable to refuse author’s performances. Monodramas and art house are specific theatrical trends that can cause bewilderment to an ignorant person. The performances are not conducive to communication, so you need to plan the continuation of the date.
Walk in the park
Neutral territory is suitable for a first date during the daytime. The couple will be in full view of people, so the girl will not worry about her own safety. You need to walk at a leisurely pace with a calm conversation, and not make marathon laps around the park. Psychologists recommend choosing a place near a cafe where you can go for soft drinks, warm tea or a light snack.
Visit to the cinema
You can invite a colleague, classmate or a girl from a common group to an exciting film - this is a universal option for a date. In order not to make a mistake with your choice, it is useful to resort to tricks. The method will work if the chosen one understands modern cinema. You can ask to recommend an interesting film and join the company at the premiere. When solving a problem on your own, it is useful to flip through the movie poster and choose a genre, taking into account the opinion of your companion. Women usually like romantic comedies and melodramas, but there are fans of fantasy and even action films.
READ
How to start a conversation with a girl on VK and continue communication in real life
Disco
An ideal place for bonding, since disco involves not only rhythmic dancing, but also slow ones. To choose, you will need good choreographic skills of a guy who will not freeze like an idol at the first sounds of the melody. Not all girls know how to move beautifully, so the chosen one may refuse to attend a disco due to a lack of flexibility and sense of rhythm.
Extreme date
Psychologists say that people are better united by joint activities that involve little risk. The adrenaline rush increases vitality, so after the date the girl’s mood will be at its best. If you invite your chosen one to VK or another social network with photographs, you can determine the degree of riskiness of her from the pictures. Extreme options include:
- amusement park;
- climbing wall;
- ice rink;
- city quest;
- date on the roof of a high-rise building;
- hot air balloon flight.
The life and health of your companion should not be seriously endangered. It is advisable to choose an option where the guy himself can provide support. Otherwise, you cannot do without the presence of an instructor.
Where is the best place to have a first date?
The best options would be: cafe, bowling alley, walk, hookah bar. You don’t need a lot of pretentiousness; you should be loved not for money, but for your originality and positive traits.
Eventually, when a pleasant evening comes to an end, you must make a new date. Tell:
- I was pleased, we had a good time, we will need to meet again. I'll call!
Does appearance matter?
Here we can safely say - no! Of course, this will give you chances, but if you have the qualities listed above, then that’s all that’s required. Of course, no one canceled self-care!
Facial expressions and gestures:
- Smile. Try to smile more often, while watching how “carefully” you laugh. Excessive laughter is not pleasant.
- Sight. He should be kind, gentle and bewitching your lady. There's no need to stare at her. When speaking, you must make eye contact.
- Hands. Do not make sudden or rough movements. Don’t allow too much and forget about touching for a while. It’s too early for touching, but don’t be afraid, you will feel it’s time when the time comes.
How to behave when meeting
Psychologists advise giving the girl freedom of choice - she will certainly appreciate a sensitive attitude towards herself. She will remember more the atmosphere in which her own opinions and other people's tastes are not imposed. It is advisable to think through any force majeure that may arise on the eve of the date or during the meeting. You can carefully plan how to invite a girl to dinner, but in the evening the weather suddenly turns bad or your boss keeps you at work. Being prepared for unpleasant surprises will make you feel more confident.
The main tasks of a guy on a first date:
- Avoid making serious mistakes that will make the girl not want to date you again. You need to be yourself, without trying on masks and without pretending to be a superman or a sultry macho. The woman agreed to come because she liked this particular man, and not the hero of a pulp novel.
- Get your companion as interested as possible so that she doesn’t get bored. With repeated awkward pauses, prolonged silence or stupid jokes, the lady will hasten to retreat.
- Male charisma and sexuality do not manifest themselves in open concern. There is no need to go in with hugs and kisses, or open your arms.
You need to speak to your chosen one loudly and clearly, but without raising your voice. A sincere smile is attractive, so it is useful to demonstrate a positive mood more often. Next to a confident and reliable man, the girl will feel safe, so she will definitely agree to meet again.
Afterword
Another good and more productive way of communication is to act as a lecturer. Give the girl bait for conversation, attract her attention to your words, and answer the questions that interest her as much as possible. This can be anything, it does not have to be limited to routine problems.
Less worry, don't be afraid to seem stupid or not good enough for her. Relax, only YOU are worthy to be with her.
Good advice from a beautiful girl, look at what the opposite sex reacts to:
Excuses men use to avoid asking a girl out on a date.
Read on...do some of these sound familiar? If so, then it's probably time to make a few changes in your life.
They dream of a non-existent future
They start fantasizing about everything from marrying a woman to sleeping with her, having children, and so on. Often before they even talk to her! Dreams are always positive and never negative. Although she may be friendly and attractive, these two traits may not paint the full picture. Arguments, bad habits, and even a possible breakup somehow never come to mind.
Before you know it, the pressure will gradually build and you will finally have to face the truth. What was once an easy decision, spontaneous or not, in an instant turns into a risky move that can ruin all those “ideal” dreams.
Let's face it, most men take it painfully.
First they need their friends' approval
“Is she looking at me?”, “Do you think she’s lonely?”, “What do you say, hot thing?”
This is usually accompanied by your friend saying, “Yeah, dude, you should go talk to her.”
However, you don't need his encouragement; this is a test.
It's the same as if an authoritative jury were assessing the attractiveness of a woman at a beauty contest. First, you need grades of 9 and 10. Then such approval is like declaring a “winner” in your personal life. Ultimately, you must make this decision yourself, not your friends!
They have no goals
They don't know where their dates are leading. They also don't know what kind of woman they want to date. Anyone who has a pulse, who accidentally and not by chance came into their field of vision, will do!
They may dream of meeting the ideal woman. However, they don't actually take enough steps to make everything possible. They have no drive, no motivation, and no idea how to get closer to their goal. The goal simply does not exist!
The concept is no different from the business world. If you want to make money, you set goals and strive to achieve them. If you lie on the couch all day watching TV, the only thing you need to do is get over yourself! If you dream of finding and dating the perfect woman, you need to make it your goal to keep trying to find her. Over time, they will become a habit and eventually become a reality.
Remember, we are what we think. If you think about being lonely, that's what you'll end up with. You won't have enough motivation to change your circumstances.
They consider themselves unworthy
They may be pulled down by finances, work, past or attractiveness.
They think they are not in good physical shape, are poor, or work in low-paying jobs—all of which are instant disqualifiers. Even little things like thinning hair give them reason to believe that a particular woman is completely out of their league. Nonsense!
In fact, women have NEVER been out of your league. Sometimes you may be afraid of a woman's beauty, but you should never be considered a coward.
Yes, it's true that girls are attracted to men with an amazing lifestyle, it really just takes time to win their hearts. You can stock up on cheap groceries at the supermarket to pay for your university fees now. You may eventually want to become a doctor and are actively working towards it. Women will appreciate this.
All those things you worry about don't matter! Whether they are big or small.
As Julius Caesar would say: “Veni, Vidi, Vici,” translated from Latin as “I Came, I Saw, I Conquered.”
His dominance was unsurpassed. He thought he was the greatest, and he was. Despite being born into a family without political influence, he had his inheritance confiscated, lived in a poor area of Rome, was kidnapped and captured by pirates, and was forced to retreat twice during the war.
Caesar's belief in dignity was carved in stone. It was unbreakable. His present and past moments never determined the ultimate future. Every man can do the same. If you live and breathe, then the decisions you make in the future are entirely up to you. Nothing should hold you back.
They assume too many "what ifs"
And all they do is just sit and worry.
“What if she already has a boyfriend?”, “What if I say the wrong thing?”, “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”, “What if...”
In fact, you come up with millions of mini-excuses that simply don't matter.
It doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend! Perhaps she needs a new boyfriend. Perhaps she will get married in a month, and then, disappointed, she will be ready to date again. If she does have a boyfriend, you should always remain friendly and treat her with respect.
NEVER get upset, don't whine like a child and don't behave rudely. She will remember how you handled this moment. In the future, you may encounter her again in a grocery store, cafe, shopping center, or some more unexpected place. This is how our world works.
They feel like now is not the right time.
They are always waiting, and when they finally feel ready, it is already too late! She has already found a new guy. She moved to another region, etc.
There is no fairytale moment to ask a girl out on a date. We'll say it again. There is no magic moment for asking a girl out on a date! You don't have to wait until you "feel" ready because in the end that's just an excuse to put things off.
When you see that she's amazing and want to ask her out, do it. It is so simple. No need to waste time! You shouldn't care if she's surrounded by other women or her friends. It's early morning or late evening. Or if she's wearing jeans instead of a dress. You guys will find a thousand excuses not to take action.
They don't know where to take her on a date
Most guys plan a date in advance before or after they ask a girl out. They make big plans for the whole night. Everything from choosing the perfect restaurant to choosing the right movie and more. Some go so far as to choose what they will eat and how long each event should last, etc.
They act like they're going to war and desperately need a brilliant strategy to win.
Instead of just having fun, which is what dating is all about, by the way, they get caught up in the little things that don't matter! With all the pressure, most guys end up avoiding asking a girl out altogether. They have no idea what to do when dating women, and thus become stumped!
We figured it out. Every woman wants a Disney date. A date to show off to your friends. But you can't predict everything in advance. In most cases, things go completely differently from your prepared list. When you least expect it, on the way to the restaurant with her, the tire on the passenger side gets flat! Even your restaurant reservation may be in vain and you may have to wait three hours for food because the restaurant is overcrowded or understaffed.
You can't plan for these things. One way or another, you must be able to go with the flow and find ways out of a difficult situation in the blink of an eye! All the speed bumps in your driveway make dates fun, memorable, and often magical in her eyes.
If you want to ask a girl out on a date, once again, please don't plan the perfect date! If you don't have a place or activity in mind before asking her out, don't use the situation as an excuse to put it off. Get out of the house, have fun, relax and enjoy good company. This is the right decision!
