0 365 June 4, 2021 at 06:25 Author of the publication: Oksana Agadzhanova
Not to be loved is just failure, not to love is misfortune.
Albert Camus
How does the Meeting happen? First, a premonition of love appears - a state of readiness to share feelings with another. And only then does the right person meet. This is the beginning.
But there is an end.
Why do you want to forget love? After all, this is the highest feeling available to man. And why is it so difficult to do when you want it with all your heart?
Three stories
David
David was already a famous artist, I was still studying. The passion that threw us into each other's arms grew into a whirlwind romance - with travel, betrayals, separations and heated reconciliations. He proposed a couple of times, and I didn’t refuse, but something once again separated us, leaving some kind of fatal attraction.
We were both tired of such relationships, and after another breakup, a long and painful period of forgetting began. It was a feat every second. The clothes given to them, the profession given to them, the same city, mutual friends - everything reminded them of their loved one. Or he himself, appearing with an armful of flowers. How to forget such a man? To overcome myself and not call, not go into the workshop, not return again to this boiling water - the struggle with myself was waged not for life, but for death.
I knew in my heart that nothing would work out with us, that even if we really got married, we would definitely separate. And only two years later, when he met a more suitable girl, the tossing stopped and I finally exhaled.
Andrew
For several years I loved a man living in another hemisphere. We saw each other only a few times, but from the very first meeting we understood: we would not soon forget each other. The connection was such that we were thinking about the same thing, writing to each other at the same time, and I could, for example, accurately name his date of birth, simply by asking this question internally.
Walking around the city, it was as if I was looking around not with my own eyes, but with his. There was never even a small doubt about this person - the trust was absolute, as in oneself, and the closeness was physically palpable. She provided incredible inspiration!
Unfortunately, we were unable to connect. My beloved had to wait for a residence permit; I was not ready to move. Despite the internal experiences and the impossibility of being together, I didn’t want to forget either Andrew or my love for him. Why forget the miracle that illuminated life?
One might think that this lightness and lightness is a consequence of distance. That's what I decided. How surprised I was when the most painful breakup in my life became... an online breakup.
Floor
In reality, Paul and I never met - which was the reason for the end. Correspondence, conversations, video calls - common thoughts and feelings were enough to “fall into love” headlong. The emotional connection was so strong that my beloved felt every glance of those around me in my direction, and I dreamed of living my life with him.
My heart broke when, after months of growing tension, my loved one suddenly refused to come. How to forget the most precious person in the world? That's exactly what Paul became. Impossible. Neither the distance of thousands of kilometers nor the lack of personal meetings eased the grief. Everything - the light of the sun, a cup of coffee, people on the street, my own voice - absolutely everything reminded me of him.
It often seems to us that it is difficult to forget a loved one because of the common city, friends, children, property. In fact, even a distance of many thousands and the absence of physical contact and mutual acquaintances does not help. You can completely lose interest in the person sleeping in the same bed with you. And not being able to tear out of your heart an overseas lover whom you have never touched.
Need for deliverance
Falling in love with a man appears based on psychological signals from the subconscious, saying that this particular young man will be able to make the girl happy. This installation works when the previous relationship experience was positive.
If the first love turned out to be destructively negative, then the person’s subconscious reorganizes itself into negative behavior. Because of this, subsequent relationships are based on the experience of the first failed love and, as a result, turn out to be unsuccessful. In this regard, almost all women in Russia tend to choose young men as their life partners who destroy their lives, causing harm to the woman while being in a relationship with her.
It is possible to cope with the feeling of falling in love with a man; for this you need to be aware of the power of negative attitudes. To understand how productive your sympathy can be, pay attention to the signs I presented:
Human health is deteriorating
Mainly the organs of the gastrointestinal tract, cardiovascular system and nerves are affected. Signs that you need to suppress falling in love are acute and cutting pain in the abdomen, loose stools, bloating followed by flatulence, tachycardia, a nervous state, and constant mood swings. If you observe at least one of the listed symptoms, this indicates excessive worries about the object for which you have feelings, but the body does not perceive them well. When the relationship is healthy, there will be no such reaction from the body, which is why it is worth overcoming the emotions that arise as soon as possible.
Mental instability
Weekly breakdowns, a constant negative attitude along with a hysterical state are one of the signs that indicate the need to take measures to deal with your love. Do you remember when this condition appeared? If, while you have feelings for a new person, then the emotions are not healthy. A guy can also feel this way; he also needs to try to free himself from the negative impact of falling in love and normalize his condition.
Thoughts of suicide after a declaration of love or after a scandal
Often, girls have such thoughts. Men are more stable emotionally, but even among them there are certain individuals who are visited by this kind of thoughts. They want to get rid of a painful condition through suicide. If you observe even the slightest tendency towards such thoughts among your acquaintances or friends, immediately talk about it with the person.
Worthlessness and maladjustment
It manifests itself in relationships between a man and a woman, when one of the partners has a tendency towards tyranny. The tyrant suppresses all feelings in his partner. Instantly feels the manifestation of tender emotions towards himself. Masterfully takes advantage of his partner's weak points, making him dependent. If suddenly, while communicating with a person for whom you have tender feelings, you begin to feel unworthy of him, you urgently need to overcome the emotions of falling in love. When such a state drags on, there is a risk of developing destructive relationships from which it is simply impossible to get out.
Controlling and constant desire to be together
Despite the obvious indifference of your partner, you realize that the object of desire is not enough for you all the time. It gets to such an absurdity that if a day has passed and you haven’t looked at his page on social networks, then the day has been spent in vain. Although, at the same time, you don’t have a free minute to meet with friends, visit a nail salon, go to the gym... With this behavior, you destroy your own social life, arguing and quarreling with friends and relatives. It will be impossible to create a relationship due to a manic state, even if the partner has mutual feelings for you.
If you notice the presence of at least one of the above signs in your relationship with your partner, then you urgently need to overcome your love. Take care of yourself.
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The end: sadness or pain?
Love. The highest point on the scale of emotional states. In an ideal world, its opposite, the lowest state, is sadness. A bright feeling that fills the soul with gratitude for all the good things that I was lucky enough to experience. The experience of sadness gives food to sensuality, which means we experience life. There is no desire in my soul to get rid of this state. The question - how to forget love - arises for a different reason.
All sensations - love, joy, sadness or despair - are born in the sensory part: in the psyche, consisting of desires that require fulfillment. By filling them, we feel deep satisfaction from life.
The easiest way to break up is when you discover incompatibility or become disappointed. Or by doing everything possible. In both cases, we no longer expect anything from a person. Everything you wanted was received, everything you wanted to give was given. When everything has happened, it doesn’t hurt, even if you broke up, even if it was on the initiative of the other party. The question - how to forget a man - does not arise.
The desire to separate must mature. If this does not happen, if the readiness to separate has not been formed in the soul and the connection is interrupted, as they say, “from above”, under the influence of the situation or reason, a huge gaping emptiness remains in the soul. Instead of sexual pleasure, intellectual consonance and emotional intimacy, we feel one thing - pain.
It is interesting that when you love and do not have the opportunity to give love and passion, you suffer more than when you were unable to simply receive. It’s one thing when you quickly realize that a person is not suitable - neither sexually, nor emotionally, nor intellectually. You didn’t enjoy it, you were upset, but you just move on. And when there is a coincidence - in thoughts, in feelings, in bed - it means that receiving occurs, and you want to give all of yourself. If the connection suddenly breaks down, you are left with an overflowing heart, bursting with love.
What to do with it?
Advice from psychologists and practical recommendations
I can’t forget my first love: what should I do? So, as we found out, it is very difficult to forget your first love , but you still need to try to do it. Experts in the field of psychology give the following recommendations in this matter:
- Stop communication . How can you ever forget about something if you're still in touch? You need to follow your own paths and not cling to the past. So, if possible, stop any contact with your first love. If this cannot be avoided, try to at least limit them as much as possible.
- Accept your breakup. Perhaps you still have somewhere in the depths of your soul the hope that you will be together and everything will be as before. But the more you think about it and build such illusions, the more difficult it will be for you. Therefore, it is important to accept that this relationship is over, it cannot be returned and it is time to move on.
- Stop talking about your past partner . If you remember him in any conversation, then how can you forget? Therefore, you should watch your words, each time it will become easier and easier.
- Remember why you broke up .
If you just can’t get over the distance and keep thinking about your first love, then a good way to get rid of these shackles will be the reason for the end of your relationship. You can also remember what irritated you about your partner, which is why you fought. You cannot forget about your love just because you remember the good things and idealize those feelings. But there were certainly conflicts, there was something we didn’t like. Try to concentrate on this. - Stop making excuses for your partner . Perhaps the reason for the separation was betrayal or even betrayal on the part of your lover. And now you cannot forget about him, because you begin to justify his action. You start to think that you can close your eyes to this. Stop doing this! Think objectively, if he was able to do this once, then it will happen again.
- You have a chance for a happy relationship . Stop thinking that you will never meet such a person again and you will not be as comfortable with anyone.
- Take a break . Yes, at first you will often think about your past relationships. But if you constantly lie under the covers and think about how good things used to be, you will dig deeper and deeper into depressive thoughts. Try to somehow occupy yourself, get out of the house. It might even be worth going somewhere for a couple of weeks so that it reminds you of your former relationship as little as possible.
- Ask for help .
Yes, sometimes it's good to be alone with your thoughts. But if you just can’t let go of the situation, then you should seek help. Parents and friends will definitely respond to your call and help you take a new path. If you understand that everything has gone too far, then do not be afraid and do not hesitate to contact a psychologist! - Stop surveillance . There is no need to monitor your partner’s social networks or ask mutual friends about his every move. If possible, block your ex everywhere, and ask your friends to try not to mention him.
- Stay true to yourself . You may start to pretend that everything is fine and nothing is bothering you, but inside you will worry. Therefore, first it is better to turn to a loved one and talk it out. Then gradually return to your normal life.
- Use the breakup to your advantage . Instead of being sad, think better about what advantages have appeared and what opportunities have opened up for you. Now you can finally do what you have been planning for a long time. Maybe you wanted to learn something? Or try something new? Now is the best time for this. Moreover, you now have much more free time, so devote it to yourself!
- Get up off the couch already . How long can you lie down, listen to sad music and look through photos together? If you don’t want to get depressed, then you should pull yourself together. Turn on fun and energetic music, watch a motivational movie, go to the gym, go for a walk around the city, meet with friends.
- Switch to the positive . Try to do everything that will please you and make you feel more confident. Update your wardrobe, change your haircut, treat yourself to a major purchase. Go to a restaurant and have a delicious meal, sign up for courses to improve your self-esteem. Everything that brings pleasant emotions will definitely help you forget your first love.
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How to forget your first love? What is important to understand:
Love is an action
To love means to constantly struggle with thousands of obstacles around us and in ourselves.
Jean Anouilh
You can't forget love. You can repress pain - and then it will turn into an anchor and will truly be dangerous. Or you can live and comprehend the experience, even if it is painful, so that:
- free yourself from pain, - become a little better, - be able to build an even stronger connection.
What and how to do to forget a loved one after a breakup - it doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or a woman? More on this later.
How to forget a man forever
Many couples, after breaking up, maintain friendly relations. However, in some cases, women tend to forget the person who was her husband or boyfriend forever.
The desire to never remember your lover again can be dictated by the following reasons for separation:
- the relationship has run its course;
- there was a betrayal of a partner;
- unfavorable circumstances (partners living in different cities) and so on.
To forget a loved one forever, a woman needs to take 3 steps:
- Step 1 . Release all your feelings and emotions. If you want to cry, you shouldn’t hold back; if you want to scream, you need to scream. The most important thing is to get rid of anger, anger, disappointment and resentment. If these feelings are not lived through, they can cause psychological trauma to a person. You need to try to remember in every detail the moment of separation. It is very important to accept the fait accompli of what happened and try to assess the situation realistically. Try to convince yourself that this is exactly how everything was supposed to happen.
- Step 2 . Take care of yourself. Under no circumstances should you give up and neglect your appearance. The first people you should contact after a breakup are your hairdresser and manicurist. You can visit the spa or sign up for a massage. The best doctor for a tormented female soul is shopping. Even if you don’t have too much money at the moment, you can treat yourself to at least one new and beautiful thing. Everyone knows about the relationship between a healthy body and a healthy mind. To forget a person, remaining a cheerful, confident woman and looking into the future with optimism, it is useful to start visiting the gym.
- Step 3 . Get serious about organizing your life. If a woman has completed the previous two steps, it means that she was able to comprehend and accept the situation. All that remains is to complete the matter and finally throw all thoughts about the ex-lover out of my head. Summarize and draw a conclusion about past relationships. Pay attention to men, flirt with them. Realize your worth, pamper yourself, compliment yourself.
What to do and what not to do?
The heart cries and groans... Pain is a natural signal that something needs to be done to get out of the situation.
When we search online for how to forget a loved one after a breakup, we are ready to make an effort. We’ve already forbidden ourselves to write and call, we’ve thrown out shared photos, but it’s not getting any easier. Attempts to “not think” or even to crowd out a loved one with a new love from thoughts about him or her do not distract and only increase suffering.
How to forget a man whom you still love, but cannot be with? Internal work will help. Not by forgetting, but by awareness. Desires, abilities, possibilities - not apparent, but real. Both yours and your partner.
Express feelings
It is necessary to experience feelings. Forbidding yourself to cry is the same as forbidding yourself to feel, and therefore live. Crying into a pillow - in silence or with music consonant with the state, experiencing the pain of movie characters, and even better - heroes of classic books, throwing out feelings in a diary, song or painting - all this provides emotional release.
Mental hygiene is important. If possible, it is better not to stay in the same house if it is painful: over-stress is not good for anyone. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with continuing communication: having the opportunity to express feelings and share warmth is easier than forcibly limiting yourself. It doesn't affect much, so communicate if the other person doesn't mind.
What you definitely shouldn’t do is remain in an unstable state. It is only because of him that calls and messages can be inadequate, attempts to have fun can be dangerous or pointless, and attempts to forget a person and love for him can be fruitless. How to change and stabilize your internal state is in the next chapter.
Answer the question “why?”
"Why?!" Some people consider this question to be a weakness, but it is a relief and the source of our movement forward. We live in a cause-and-effect world, and understanding hidden connections creates a sense of internal balance, as it establishes a connection between feelings and reason.
Any situation is the result of our choices and actions. Not always conscious. More often, on the contrary, they are completely unconscious. Sometimes - rationalized, that is, at the very least explained to oneself logically. The true reasons for what is happening lie in the unconscious. It contains all desires, and therefore life energy.
Maybe the loved one lacked an emotional connection and found it on the side? Or maybe, on the contrary, he is a sound engineer, tired of excessive emotionality? Or is it me, a sound artist, and actually yearning not for my ex, but for the unfound meaning of life?
When we love, the imagination completes the image dear to our hearts to the ideal. But neither a dream, nor even sober observations without system-vector analysis reveal to us the essence of what happened. You can see everything as it is only by knowing the desires of the participants, secret even to themselves.
We all strive for happiness. The way we can. The properties that exist. What did your loved one want? What is his nature? What did I want? What did I give him? What couldn’t you give and why? Where did the feelings go and what was the connection?
Seeing the situation from the inside, not from our point of view or even from the point of view of a lover, but objectively - in an eight-dimensional volume, we know the answers to all these questions. Moreover, these answers are not only realized - they are felt sensually, and this consistency gives peace.
Having dealt with the source of our pain, we automatically receive an answer - what we really want and how to achieve it. How we understand our ex-partner and see him through different eyes.
Realize and justify
What holds a couple together? The more human we become, the higher and stronger the bonds. Intellectual connection, emotional.
Sexual addiction based on desire is a strong thing, and the more difficult it is to overcome, the stronger the person’s libido. Emotional connection as a higher order connection includes attraction and in a good way enhances mutual dependence in a couple. People truly become one, which is painful to separate.
In today's increasingly complex world, given our ever-growing desire for happiness, it is very, very difficult to build lasting, happy relationships without special knowledge. Old forms of relationships are leaving, new ones are appearing. Even though we go through extremely painful breakups, it is an overall positive process.
Our request - the desire for ideal love - now has an answer. New perception is the ability to see the psyche, and therefore the ability to build ideal relationships.
When we see how and by what laws our psyche lives, understanding and justification arises in the heart - both for the partner and for ourselves. It becomes obvious why everything happened one way and no other way. Without awareness of the unconscious, we do not belong to ourselves. But its awareness makes us masters.
How to let go of past relationships
Unfortunately, this phenomenon is not uncommon: together it’s bad, but apart it’s still scary. But we understand that the inevitable is approaching. How to let go of past relationships? How to turn the page and start breathing deeply again?
What to do? Who is guilty?
When relationships in a family or couple become unbearable, there is no point in looking for someone to blame. It won't change anything about them. But this does not mean that there is no way out. The solution is that you can move on!
First of all, don't regret what happened.
Remembering the past, scrolling through the feed of life, we fixate on our mistakes, feel sorry for ourselves and let pain and suffering into our hearts. But you need to focus on the good! Remember the happy moments, thank your partner and life for having them in your life. Consider the bad ones as lessons that, if you learn them, you will become better, stronger, smarter. This is your invaluable experience.
Second, forgive yourself and your ex.
You and he are just people who have the right to weaknesses and mistakes. Who hasn't done them? In fact, it’s not difficult to forgive, you just need to allow yourself to do it. And above all, you need this. Without forgiveness, you will not allow new feelings into your heart.
Take Louise Hay's method to help. Thank yourself and your ex, for example, like this: “I say thank you for being in my life and thank you for leaving! Forgive me for not being what you would like me to be. I forgive you for not being what I wanted you to be.”
Do this regularly until you feel that you have truly forgiven. In fact, there are quite a few exercises and techniques for forgiveness and gratitude.
Third, you are not a victim.
Think about who you are. What are you good at and know? How are you special? You are a self-sufficient person, or strive to become one. Focus on what you have received, built, developed in yourself. And move on! New opportunities for personal growth, happiness and success await you.
Fourth, live here and now.
Happiness exists only in the present tense. Live consciously in the present.
Take care of yourself. Change your look. Pamper yourself: soul and body. Think about your friends, boyfriends and girlfriends, interesting acquaintances. Hang out with good people. Read good books, watch the best films, listen to great music.
Once upon a time you were already strong, happy and passionate. This is how you attracted your ex. An interesting, strong, confident person is always attractive. It attracts luck, success and love.
Practice. There are many spiritual practices, both purely female and male. Practitioners teach you to live consciously, listen and understand yourself, reveal your potential, soul, heart.
Fifth, create separation.
If you are stuck in the past. The hope of restoring your old relationship holds you tightly in its iron grip. This prevents you from attracting new love. And this is a game of our subconscious. What can be done? Change hopes of restoring the old to a broader plan. Your hopes are different now: You expect to meet a new person, you want love and happiness. You are open to it.
Sixth, allow yourself to feel.
At first, you are depressed and feel pain, as well as anger. This is normal and natural. The loss of a relationship is regarded by you as a loss of meaning. And the loss of meaning is death. You have the right to feel. Get angry, cry, scream. But try to feel your emotions and states as quickly as possible and don’t get stuck in them. Again, there are many techniques, meditations on forgiveness, on letting go of relationships. Find what works best for you.
Seventh, recognize and replace incorrect beliefs.
Love is not a disease or a mental state. When you love, you wish your beloved happiness. Your loved one is not your property, thing or toy. In return for your love, he is not obliged to love you. And if you are holding on to an old relationship that no longer brings you happiness, this is not love.
Perhaps it is attachment, but most likely it is fear of the unknown and negative beliefs. For example:
- I will never feel loved again;
- I will always feel alone;
- I am completely powerless to do anything.
Recognize that these beliefs are negative and incorrect and replace them with positive ones.
Where does change begin?
There are many examples of how a couple gets back together after a breakup and builds relationships on a new level. There are no fewer cases when those whom we cannot stop loving and forget today appear again years later - but we no longer feel anything for them. The reason for both situations is our condition.
What is psyche? Great desire for pleasure. The same pain is a kind of measure of the strength of potential happiness. It shows that we crave pleasure, but cannot yet receive it.
How to achieve it? Here again you will need system-vector knowledge. The entire volume of feelings can be filled by directing energy - the power of desire - into action. Most of all we want feelings, and we experience the strongest ones through the ultimate realization of our nature, that is, given properties.
Libido is not only sexual desire. This is an attraction to life, an active thirst to enjoy, which has its manifestations in different vectors. Knowing them, a person understands what kind of sublimation suits him, and enjoys being realized.
It is much easier for those who have already revealed their talents. Knowing the taste of fulfillment from self-realization, we involuntarily reach for pleasure and dive into the work of life. Self-realization has the same root as sexual pleasure.
Those who don't yet know their greatest talent will have to make a conscious effort. When we recognize our properties correctly, we become involved with lightning speed. Nature generously rewards for the realization of those who do what she created them for.
You can start filling vector desires already at the stage of leaving the relationship.
People with the skin vector grasp on the fly and highly value logic and cause-and-effect relationships. These are the greatest connoisseurs of usefulness and efficiency, who will immediately apply new knowledge. Meticulous people with an anal vector will find relief and pleasure in a leisurely, comprehensive analysis of the current situation in its entirety. Laying everything out on the shelves really is a source of good fortune for them.
Sensitive viewers and thoughtful sound-sounders will be filled with concentration: visual - on the feelings of other people, or auditory - on the meaning of what is happening between them. Surprisingly, but true: for those who are always self-absorbed in sound, focusing outside can bring pleasure comparable to an orgasm. Just like the audience - switching from their feelings to the feelings of often complete strangers.
Using natural properties for their intended purpose is a very rewarding endeavor. Every little joy obtained in this way strengthens the desire - and therefore the potential joy from one’s own actions. Realization is the best prevention of all addictions, including love ones: there are no painful voids left, which means there is no need to fill them with something or someone.
Through awareness and correct actions, the state changes. Your condition changes, your life changes.
Unrequited love in adolescence
This is the most vulnerable age when people first experience attraction to the opposite sex. Some people experience confusion easily, while others may develop an inferiority complex. But, having overcome this barrier, in the future people will be more selective about their partner. And if you can’t cope with unrequited love on your own, you need to ask your parents for help. Only the mother and father need to choose their words more carefully so that the teenager does not withdraw into himself. Psychologists recommend the following:
- Be as honest as possible with your child. Don’t use other people’s life situations as an example, because everyone’s feelings are different, and no one experiences problems in the same way.
- Don't push with questions. If a teenager is not inclined to talk, he should not be forced to talk about his inner experiences. And even more so, don’t raise your voice or reproach him for anything.
- It is not recommended to give advice that is suitable for adults. It is necessary to convey to the child that non-reciprocal feelings are a completely normal phenomenon in nature, because people are all different.
- Try to distract by offering to have a picnic or vacation somewhere. If your child has a favorite musical group, you can buy a ticket to their concert. The main thing is to distract with a topic of interest.
- Talk about your unrequited feelings at the same age, convey emotions and experiences as much as possible. Tell me how you managed to cope and forget about everything. But if a child is not interested in listening to his parents’ stories, then there is no need to insist.
If parents are not competent enough in the field of teenage psychology and cannot help their child cope with internal experiences, you need to consult a specialist. The main mistake of many parents is that they let such situations take their course. There is no need to think that everything will pass by itself and be forgotten. At a young, vulnerable age, unrequited love can turn into tragedy.
Renaissance
In a world divided into men and women, created for each other and striving for each other with all their souls, parting with a loved one is a serious test. And as in any crisis, this event contains opportunities for overcoming and growth.
Manifested and realized inconsistencies and conflicts, mistakes and miscalculations, illusions and disappointments turn into a new force. Revealing the hidden, realizing one’s nature, mastering the state transforms one into a new person.
As a result of thinking consistent with nature, a more consistent and harmonious life develops. Either lovers return, or new ones are found. It happens that external barriers crumble - and relationships that seemed impossible suddenly become a reality. In any case, if we have overcome the crisis, the new relationship is more perfect, since pain is a tool of evolution.
“When the cause-and-effect relationship is revealed, you don't make mistakes. And you have a different life, a different development. - says Yuri Burlan. — How to achieve inspiration, where are its sources? Why do I feel happy? I have ideal thought forms that are correlated with my psyche.”
Analysis of past relationships
To begin with, we should highlight the reasons that led to the separation. We must accept the fact that even the most romantic relationships can be destroyed for the simple reason that people simply do not suit each other according to many criteria.
Leading psychologists strongly recommend not focusing on the past and moving on, but to do this it is necessary to determine the reasons for the breakup. This will help you do it right next time.
For more effective self-analysis, you need to answer the following questions:
- Was your behavior the reason for the breakup? If the answer is positive, it is necessary to highlight those actions that played the main role.
- Do you choose partners who belong to a certain type and for what reasons are they not suitable for you?
- Have you encountered similar problems in previous relationships? If so, what should you do next time?
Thank you heart that you know how to love so much
Any experience is development. Pain is the background for the knowledge of pleasure and a signal that we are doing something wrong or not doing what is necessary. Forgetting the bad means throwing yourself back, because forgetting does not bring correction. Having gone through pain and understood its causes, we not only free ourselves from it and acquire immunity, we become better, more perfect, and therefore happier, including in love.
Today, with peace of mind, I can call Andrew, Paul, and even David my friends. Not in some abstract sense, but in a completely concrete sense. We communicate, we are happy with each other, we are in each other’s lives. Enjoying an exhibition, supporting a release or a successful project, drinking a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, supporting and simply discussing events in the world - this is a reality that seemed impossible during the moments of a painful separation. I am happy about Andrew’s two children, David’s happy marriage, and Paul’s success. And I know for sure that this is mutual.