How to decide to divorce your husband - 7 steps to a bright future

When it becomes clear that the marriage is broken and divorce is the only way out, you have to deal with previously unfamiliar problems and procedures. It’s good if spouses come to this step together and want the same thing. However, in more than half of the cases, one of the parties becomes the initiator of the process, and the other tries in every possible way to obstruct the case. This can develop into a real war and ruin the lives of not only people living in marriage, but also those around them.

It is important to survive this unpleasant period, pursuing the main goal - to get out of the situation with minimal moral and property losses. This is impossible without clear, detailed guidance.

At first glance, the whole process looks complicated and confusing. Everyone has their own opinion, vision of resolving the issue, the desire to punish the culprit in any way, their own understanding of justice. But, if you take away the emotions, all you will do during the period of divorce is:

1. Prepare documents. You need to receive a paper confirming that from a certain date you are no longer a family and do not owe each other anything.
2. Share property that you have earned together. You will look for a solution to how much and what everyone will get.
3. Determine the conditions for the future life of a minor child or children. Who they stay with, what kind of alimony they are entitled to, how they will communicate with both of you.

What the Law Says

The law regulates all the details of relations in the divorce process. The necessary legislative norms are contained in the Civil and Family Code of the Russian Federation and in No. 143-FZ “On Acts of Civil Status” dated November 20, 1997.

According to legislative acts, the procedure for dissolving a marriage union is chosen by the spouses. In this case, the corresponding articles of the named documents come into effect. The following divorce schemes are used:

• Simplified - Article 33 of Federal Law 143;
• Standard – Article 34;
• With the involvement of judicial authorities - Article 35.

The Divorce Law, as Federal Law No. 143 is often called, contains data on the procedure and the official cost of the process. The latest changes were made to this act in 2021. The amounts of state duty for different divorce schemes were introduced.

These amendments made it possible to consider cases of divorce with foreign citizens in court. Now claims can be filed even when both spouses do not live in Russia. The procedure is carried out on the basis of Russian legislation.

The law contains a description of the possibilities for prompt resolution of all divorce issues and identifies controversial situations that require resolution in the courts.

This article contains references to the relevant articles of current legal acts that normalize civil and family interaction.

Possible legal consequences

Jointly owned property will be divided equally between spouses

When you decide to get a divorce, you need to take into account both the psychological component and the legal point of view in this matter. A woman must know and take into account the subtleties.

1. If you have an apartment and are worried about what will happen after the divorce. If it was acquired after the conclusion of the union, it should be divided equally. If it was purchased or left as an inheritance to a spouse before legal marriage, then you do not have any right to claim it. If the apartment belonged to you before marriage, then he has no right to claim your apartment. In some cases, a man does not apply for the division of an apartment if he wants to leave it for his children.
2. All joint property that has been acquired is divided in half.
3. If a loan was taken out but was not successfully repaid before the divorce, then the debt is divided equally, as is the subject of the loan itself.
4. If a woman remains with the children, then the man must begin to support them, paying alimony until they reach adulthood or finish their studies at a university in the amount of ¼ of their salary for one child, 1/3 for two, ½ for three children. A man can also pay a larger amount on his own initiative.

Ways to carry out the divorce process

There are three options for conducting a divorce procedure, the choice of each depends on the circumstances of a particular case.

Simplified procedure

Suitable for couples who do not have children or whose offspring are already adults. If citizens want to separate, they have nothing to share or they have already agreed on everything and have no material claims against each other.

You need to go together to the registry office where the marriage was registered or where one of you lives, and fill out an application for divorce. After 30 days, in the same office you can receive a divorce certificate with a stamp and officially become citizens free from mutual obligations.

If there is a need to divide property, this can be done in court after the divorce is filed in the registry office. A claim for division can be filed within three years. But, if after six years it becomes known about the secret contributions of the ex-husband, for example, then the statute of limitations will be counted from the moment of this discovery.

As an alternative to the registry office, you can contact the MFC. The algorithm of actions is the same. Another way is to submit an application via the Internet using the unified government services portal. However, this is not possible in all regions. In addition, you will need equipment for electronic signatures and a personal “key”, for which you will have to go to government agencies.

Standard procedure

Applies if you have children, property is subject to division, but the issues are resolved peacefully and an agreement is reached. Then the following is drawn up:

• Agreement on children, filled out in your own hand on paper. You don’t even have to have it certified by notaries. The document must specify who the child lives with, how often and in what places he meets with the other parent, how and to what extent alimony is planned to be paid;
• Agreement on the division of property in writing with notarization. It is also called a “Marriage Agreement” and can be drawn up at any time during the marriage relationship. The document is certified so that it cannot be challenged in the future.

After this, you should register a statement of claim in the magistrate’s court, supporting it with these documents. Moreover, the claim is filed by one participant, the other becomes the defendant. If it is important, you can request that the case be considered without your presence. The court makes a decision within a period of one to four months; if the judge deems it necessary, time will be given for reconciliation.

When the court decision comes into force, you will receive a copy of the document in the court office; on its basis, the registry office will issue you a certificate and put a stamp in your passport.

Divorce procedure through court

Article 21 of the RF IC reflects cases when divorce must take place in court:

• If there are common minor children born or resulting from adoption;
• If the husband or wife refuses to break the marriage bond;
• If one of the parties disagrees, submit a petition or fail to appear at the registry office.

The duration of the process and its outcome depend on the specific circumstances of the case, the behavior and evidentiary position of the parties at this time. After filing a statement of claim, no earlier than a month later, a date and place for a court hearing are set. A summons with relevant information is delivered to both participants.

Possible scenarios for the development of subsequent events require detailed consideration.

Divorce without court: how to dissolve a marriage through the registry office and not go to court?

Despite the unstable situation in the economy of our country, life does not stand still. People meet, fall in love, get married, but, unfortunately, get divorced. According to statistics from Rosstat, the number of divorces in Russia dropped to 528 thousand cases last year, which is 56 thousand less than in 2021. It seems that official statistics indicate a positive trend among Russians towards the institution of marriage. However, the number of official divorces has decreased only due to the fact that many Russians simply do not register their relationships.

Unlike past centuries, now there is little that can prevent people from getting a divorce - different laws, different morals. Nowadays, couples decide to divorce both after a year of marriage and after 25 years of marriage. The only thing that can delay the divorce process is a lack of information and knowledge, a lack of understanding of where to start a new life.

Where to file for divorce: to the registry office or to court?

If you have decided to get a divorce, but do not know how to file for divorce, the first thing you need to decide is how exactly you will have to dissolve the marriage, through the registry office or through the court. To save your time, we have collected frequently asked questions that arise during a divorce and created a simple algorithm, thanks to which you can quickly find out which authority you need to contact to get a divorce:

A marriage is dissolved by the registry office departments if:

• you do not have minor children together;
• both spouses agree to divorce;
• your spouse is considered missing;
• your spouse has been declared legally incompetent;
• your spouse has been sentenced to more than 3 years.

In all other cases, the marriage will have to be dissolved through the court. Only after you receive a court decision on divorce, you will need to register it in the registry office. If your case fits one of the last three points (for example, your spouse is serving a sentence in prison), then you can dissolve the marriage without the consent of your spouse, regardless of whether you have joint minor children.

A marriage is dissolved in court if:

• there are minor children in the family;
• one of the spouses does not agree to divorce;
• there are property disputes and division of joint property is required.

IMPORTANT! Please note that if the spouse is pregnant or gave birth less than 1 year ago, divorce is only possible if she has given written consent.

Which court should I file for divorce in?

The claim must be filed in the district or magistrate court at the defendant’s place of residence . Which one depends specifically on your situation. If you are unable to get to the defendant’s place of residence for health reasons or you have minor children living with you, you can go to court located near your home.

Contact the Magistrates' Court if:

• there is no dispute about child custody, alimony or parenting issues;
• property disputes amounting to less than 50 thousand rubles.

Contact the district court if:

• there is a dispute about children and the assignment of alimony;
• There are disputes about the division of property worth more than 50 thousand rubles.

If you want to challenge the decision of the magistrate court, you need to contact the district court. A petition to challenge the district court must be filed in the city court.

Read more about filing a claim for divorce in the article How to file for divorce through the court .

Stages of divorce through the registry office

The easiest and fastest way to get a divorce is to file a divorce through the registry office. This method is only available to you if you both agree to the divorce, there are no property disputes and you have no children.

The main stages of divorce through the registry office with the consent of both spouses:

1. The choice of the registry office is in accordance with Art. 32 of the Federal Law “On Acts of Civil Status”, an application for divorce can be submitted to the registry office at the place of residence of the spouses, or one of the spouses, and the application can also be submitted to the authority at the place where the marriage was concluded.
2. Filling out an application for divorce - the spouses sign a joint application for divorce indicating the relevant date.
3. Payment of the state fee for registration of divorce - in accordance with clause 1 of Art. 333.26 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation for the state registration of divorce in the registry office, including the issuance of a certificate, with the mutual consent of the spouses, a state fee is charged from each spouse.
4. Preparation of documents - copies of identity documents of the spouses, a joint application for divorce, a marriage certificate, a receipt for payment of state duty.
5. Submitting an application to the registry office - the application is submitted by both spouses along with a package of documents. If one of the spouses does not have the opportunity to appear at the registry office to submit a joint application, he can send a separate application for divorce to the registry office, certified by a notary.
6. Divorce – in accordance with clause 4 of Art. 33 of the Federal Law “On Acts of Civil Status”, divorce by mutual consent of the spouses and state registration of divorce is carried out with the participation of at least one of the divorcees after a month from the date of filing the application for divorce.
7. Obtaining a divorce certificate - a certificate is issued to each of the spouses, it can be obtained separately.

: Application for divorce by mutual consent of the spouses

Unilateral divorce through the registry office

If your spouse is missing, found incompetent, or sentenced for more than three years, the steps in the divorce will be similar. But you need to fill out the appropriate application for divorce. A copy of the court decision declaring the spouse missing, incompetent or serving a sentence is added to the package of documents. The court's decision must enter into legal force. The state fee for divorce by one spouse will be 350 rubles.

: Application for divorce from an incapacitated, missing or convicted spouse

Where can I get a receipt to pay the state fee for divorce?

There is no need to look for a special receipt. You can come to a bank branch, for example, Sberbank, and tell the operator that you want to pay the state. divorce fee. A receipt form, sample filling and necessary details will be provided to you.

You can also check the details in the “My Documents” office or generate a receipt for payment of the divorce fee on the website of the Unified State Register of Civil Status Records (USR Civil Status Register). To do this, follow the link https://zags.nalog.ru/services/create_payment/

How much is the divorce fee in 2021?

The state fee for divorce is 650 rubles . Both spouses must pay the fee separately. Receipts for payment of divorce fees are provided when filing applications with the registry office or court.

You can save money when paying the fee if you submit an application through the State Services portal (https://www.gosuslugi.ru/). The cost will be 455 rubles, as there is a 30% discount for electronic application submission and non-cash payment.

If you are divorcing in court rather than by mutual consent, you will need to pay an additional fee for filing a lawsuit for divorce in the amount of 600 rubles.

Is it possible to get a divorce if the marriage certificate is lost or the document is damaged? What to do if the spouse does not give the marriage certificate?

A marriage certificate is one of the required documents that must be provided when filing for divorce. If you do not have the original certificate, you will need to obtain a duplicate document.

If there is no marriage certificate, there are several options to solve the problem:

1. You can restore data by registration number of the deed and/or date of marriage. But this can only be done if you submit an application for divorce to the same registry office that registered the marriage . In this case, it is not necessary to obtain a duplicate of the marriage certificate.
2. If the other spouse withholds the marriage certificate and does not give it up, you can file a petition to have it subpoenaed by the court. This can be done at the same time as filing the divorce petition.
3. If your marriage certificate is lost or damaged, you will need to obtain a duplicate document. After this, you can apply for a divorce to any registry office or court; a duplicate of the marriage document has the legal force of the original. The cost of restoring a marriage certificate is 350 rubles (clause 6, clause 1, article 333.26 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation).

What to do if your spouse does not want to go to the registry office for a divorce?

In this case, you will have to file a lawsuit for unilateral divorce. The statement of claim is filed in the magistrate's court at the place of residence of the spouse. A spouse's refusal to divorce cannot be an obstacle to divorce. If there are disputes about children, division of property or other issues, you need to contact the district court.

One of the spouses lives in another city (country) and cannot come. How to get a divorce remotely?

If you and your spouse have minor children, you will have to file a claim in court. To speed up the process, you can ask your spouse to send a written response to the court, in which he expresses his consent to divorce and ask the court to consider the dispute in his absence. It is enough to send the review in simple written form, but if desired, the spouse’s signature can be notarized.

If there are no children, it is possible to register a divorce at the registry office without the presence of the second spouse. But additional documents will be required:

• written documents confirming valid reasons for the absence of the other party in the registry office (evidence of residence in another city or country);
• a written statement of consent to file a divorce, certified by a notary.

The spouse can also issue a power of attorney to represent his interests in the registry office upon divorce.

Is it possible not to get a divorce, but to declare the marriage invalid?

Annulment of a marriage is not the same as divorce proceedings. The circumstances under which this is possible must be proven in court. In case of recognition, you are released from all legal obligations of the former spouses (for example, you do not have to divide the property equally).

A marriage can be declared invalid if:

• one of the spouses concealed the fact that he had previously been married and did not dissolve it;
• the marriage was fictitious;
• one of the spouses entered into a forced marriage;
• one of the spouses at the time of marriage was a minor and did not have permission to marry;
• spouses are immediate family members;
• the spouses are the adoptive parent and the adopted child;
• one of the spouses was declared incompetent by the court at the time of marriage;
• one of the spouses hid the presence of a sexually transmitted disease or HIV infection from the other.

Who should fill out an application for divorce?

When a marriage is dissolved by mutual consent through the civil registry office, the application is filled out by both spouses. If your spouse is missing, declared incompetent or in prison, the plaintiff submits an application of the appropriate nature. In case of divorce by court, the application is submitted after the court decision and is filled out by either both or one of the spouses. To consider a divorce case in court, you need to file a statement of claim for divorce in a district or magistrate court.

Why do you need a lawyer or lawyer during a divorce?

Hiring the services of a lawyer or divorce lawyer is not a necessary part of the divorce process. Not all people need to share joint real estate or a common business. Many people believe that they can handle the divorce process themselves. And this is true, it is not necessary to hire a lawyer if both spouses agree to the divorce and attend all court hearings (in person or their representatives), and also if you do not have disputes about the division of property, the assignment of alimony and the determination of the place of residence of joint children.

However, you may need a divorce lawyer if:

• there are disputes about the division of property;
• there are disputes affecting the interests of the child;
• one of the spouses is trying in every possible way to delay the process;
• one of the spouses is a foreigner;
• you live in different cities or countries;
• The place of residence of one of the spouses is unknown.

If you do not have the time or opportunity to deal with the divorce process, a divorce lawyer will draw up statements, claims and collect the necessary documents for you. The job of a lawyer is to protect your rights in court and collect information and necessary evidence if you need to legally divide an unregistered home, business, common debts, property acquired before or during marriage.

If there is a question about child custody or other disputes regarding common children, a lawyer will help collect the system of evidence necessary for a favorable court decision, and will also protect your interests in court hearings in order to demonstrate to the court that the interests of the child are paramount to you. The goal of an experienced divorce specialist is to ensure that the divorce process ends in a positive way for you and with the least losses.

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Options for divorce proceedings

Further events and decisions of family court judges are determined by the actions of the spouses. If:

1. Both sides did not come to the meeting. The court dismisses the case, assuming that they have decided not to divorce.
2. One of the participants did not appear and did not send a representative. The reasons for non-appearance are being clarified. Whatever the reason, the first hearing is postponed for a time determined by the judge. If valid reasons are found, this is taken into account in the duration of the deferment.

A period of one to three months may be set for reaching a truce, if the other party does not agree, there is no violation of children's rights. When the reasons for absence are not valid, the decision can be made in absentia.

1. The plaintiff and defendant came to the courtroom. In this case, the proceedings can take place in several ways:

• The couple agreed on all aspects, there are no property claims, a common decision was made in which the rights of no child were violated. A decision is made to satisfy the claim in one meeting;
• Otherwise, the reasons for the divorce are clarified and, in accordance with clause 2 of Article 22 of the RF IC, a period of up to 90 days is given for reconciliation;
• After the allotted time, if the husband and wife have not reconciled, they sort out all aspects of the relationship relating to children and property. After this, a decision on divorce is made.
• At the request of any party to collect evidence and documentation, the trial may also be postponed.

Resolving the situation in court often occurs with the help of a lawyer. The couple is officially considered divorced only after the claim is fully satisfied. The decision of the judicial authority is sent to the registry office, after ten days the former spouses, providing a copy of it, independently receive their own copies of the divorce certificate.

During these ten days, any of the participants in the trial, if they disagree, can file a new petition.

Amicable divorce

If the spouses managed to agree on a peaceful divorce, the procedure will go much faster. If there are no children, it is enough to submit an application to the registry office, wait one month and go to get a divorce certificate. The divorce process through the court is a little more difficult and longer. Even if the husband and wife agree to divorce, it will take about a month to make a decision.

Divorce from wife through registry office

A single application to the registry office is submitted in the absence of common children. The appearance of both spouses is mandatory, since when submitting an application they will check the voluntariness of their decision. The fee for divorce through the registry office is 650 rubles. from each of the applicants. After a month, at least one of the spouses needs to come forward to confirm their intention to divorce. Former marriage partners will be issued a divorce certificate, and a corresponding entry will be made in the registry book of the registry office.

Find out more Divorce through court without the presence of spouses

Magistrate's Court

If a husband and wife agree to divorce, but they have minor children, they must file a lawsuit in court. It does not matter who submits the documents, since the procedure and consequences of the procedure will be the same. I will give you some tips to speed up your divorce through the court:

• immediately attach to the claim a petition for consideration of the case without participation (in this case, you do not have to worry that the process will be postponed due to failure to appear at the hearing);
• you can immediately attach the wife’s consent to the divorce to the statement of claim (although the judge is still obliged to notify her of the place and time; consent will speed up the process);
• There is no need to include additional demands in the claim other than divorce, as this can significantly delay the divorce procedure.

Although the wife will be aware of the time and place of the hearings, she does not have to appear in court. However, if you want to get a divorce as quickly as possible, you can come together to the first meeting and personally confirm your desire to dissolve the marriage. In practice, this is often enough to immediately obtain a court decision.

How to file a claim

Civil Code of the Russian Federation in Article 22; 23 and 24 regulate the rights and obligations of participants in the future process during the filing of a claim document. If the spouses live separately, the petition is submitted in the territory of residence of the defendant (Article 28 of the Code of Civil Procedure) or in the place where the couple lives together.

If there is no information about the defendant’s registered address, the plaintiff himself decides the issue of jurisdiction by choosing an authority according to:

• The last place he knows where his opponent lived;
• The address where his property is located;
• Your registration address if the plaintiff is sick or has minor children.

When one of the parties does not agree to a divorce, the second files a petition indicating the reason for its demands. In this case, according to the law, the basis for the claim may be the recognition of the second participant in the proceedings:

• Missing people;
• Guilty of a criminal offense;
• Incapacitated.

The application, a sample of which is provided by the judicial authority, indicates personal data, information about the children, their age, and the grounds for divorce proceedings. If the above grounds are present, an official determination of the judicial chamber is additionally attached.

The following is attached to the statement of claim in the package of documents:

• A copy of the application for the defendant;
• Passports of husband and wife;
• Copy of children's birth certificates;
• Marriage certificate;
• Receipt for payment of state duty.

If necessary, the above documents are added to the main package. In addition, other documentation required by the court may need to be added during the course of the proceedings. For example:

• If you are applying for alimony, information about the income of the spouses;
• On the division of property - its inventory;
• Miscellaneous motions and petitions of the plaintiff.

My wife won't give me a divorce, what should I do?

This article will be useful if you have made a final decision about divorce, and saving the family is impossible. If there is a chance to resolve disputes and continue the marriage, it is better to take it. Divorce proceedings are almost always a long and costly procedure in which it is difficult to avoid conflicts. If you need a divorce from your wife, but she categorically objects to it, you need to use the following options:

• try to agree on submitting a joint application to the registry office (this is possible if the couple does not have common minor children);
• use the option of unilaterally applying to the registry office (there are only three reasons for this, which I will discuss below);
• file a claim in a magistrates' or district court to demand a divorce.

Note! A man's right to divorce is significantly limited if his wife is pregnant or raising a child under one year of age. In this case, the court will accept and satisfy the claim, only with the woman’s consent. If there is no such consent, you will have to wait until the child is one year old, and then begin the divorce process.

In all other cases, the wife cannot prevent the divorce. However, the second spouse has the opportunity to delay the procedure for several months. For example, in court you can demand time for reconciliation. If the judge agrees with such a request, a quick divorce will not be possible. The Family Code of the Russian Federation allows for the postponement of proceedings for up to three months if the court sees a real chance for reconciliation. Taking into account the time of the main process, the decision will be made only in 4-5 months.

Find out more How to leave a child with the father during a divorce: legal advice

Divorce without wife's consent: when is it possible?

You can get a divorce without your wife’s consent in almost all cases, although the procedure may differ significantly:

• through the registry office, you can file a divorce without consent only with an incompetent woman, if she is declared missing, or if she is convicted of a crime for a term of more than three years (all these facts must be confirmed by a court decision or sentence);
• You can always get a divorce through the court, except when a woman is pregnant or has a child under one year old.

All actions when divorcing a wife who does not give her consent must be carried out through the court. The registry office will accept a unilateral application in three cases. mentioned above. The application must be accompanied by a copy of the court decision on incapacity, on recognition as missing, on the imposition of a sentence of imprisonment.

How to apply to court if your wife refuses to divorce

To properly file a divorce from your wife through the court, you need to file a statement of claim. The list of documents that need to be attached to the claim is minimal - evidence of sending the application to the defendant, marriage certificate, birth certificates of children (if any), payment for state fees. When going to court, you can specify additional requirements. For example, you can immediately demand the division of property and determination of the child’s place of residence.

Right to Divorce Litigation and Exceptions

The following have the right to initiate the process unilaterally:

1. Any of the spouses.
2. Guardian of any member of a married couple if he is found incompetent.
3. A prosecutor acting as a plaintiff on behalf of an incapacitated or disappeared spouse. The Law “On the Prosecutor's Office” provides for the possibility of participation of a representative of the prosecutor's office as a plaintiff in a civil case.

A husband cannot register a claim document without the consent of his pregnant wife or if a year has not yet passed after the birth. It is important that this exception applies even if the child was stillborn or died before one year (Article 17 of the Family Code). These restrictions are introduced to protect the interests of the mother and child.

conclusions

The procedure for dissolving a marriage depends on many nuances and circumstances. There is no need to guess where to start divorcing your husband if you have a child. In this case, you need to go to court with a statement of claim and a package of documents. To terminate family relations in court, the desire of one of the spouses is sufficient.

In the event of a trial, please be patient - the consideration of the case may take more than one month. It is much easier to file a divorce at the registry office if there are no minor members or property disputes in the family. However, divorce through the court without children and property can also take place.

Jurisdiction of family matters. Who to contact

Federal and magistrate judges differ in their level of competence and peculiarities of the conditions for conducting the process. They have different status. Federal judicial officers are more competent.

When going to court, you should be guided by the complexity of the upcoming case and the degree of preparedness of the judges. If there are no unresolved disputes between you about property and children, you will be quite satisfied with the magistrate. If there is no agreement, it is necessary to apply to the district court, where civil cases are heard by federal judges (Article 23; 24 of the Code of Civil Procedure).

Spouses have the right to change the territorial jurisdiction of their case by mutual agreement. This is stated in Art. 32 Code of Civil Procedure. Even before the case is accepted for proceedings in court, contractual jurisdiction is allowed. The agreement reached and information about the place that the parties have chosen for their divorce case is drawn up in writing and submitted to the court.

Additional requirements for divorcing your wife

If the term of divorce through the court is not important for you, you can specify additional requirements in the claim - about the division of property, about determining the place of residence and the procedure for communicating with children, about collecting alimony (if the child stays with you, and the woman does not want to allocate money for him) . The wife may make the same demands, even if you yourself did not indicate them in the statement of claim.

Joint property: how not to be left empty-handed

Russian legislation prohibits depriving one of the spouses of all property. The RF IC stipulates the rule on equal rights and obligations of both spouses, including on joint assets. The court is obliged to divide all property equally, and an increase or decrease in the size of shares is allowed if it is necessary in the interests of the child. Read more about the features of the division of personal property in our previous material.

Find out more How to get a divorce if you have minor children

Communication with children

If during a divorce you ask to determine the order of communication with your child, the claim will have to be filed in the district court. This will automatically delay the divorce period. Therefore, I recommend getting a divorce first and then resolving the dispute about the children. You can go to court to determine the order of communication with a child at any time until he turns 18 years old.

Alimony

During a divorce, you can demand the recovery of alimony for a child or for a spouse. In favor of the children, alimony can be collected by the parent who is actually involved in the upbringing and maintenance of minors. You can demand alimony from your wife:

• if during the marriage or within a year after the divorce, incapacity for work occurred, and the ex-wife has the opportunity to pay money for maintenance;
• if the man reached retirement age within 5 years after the divorce, needs help, and the marriage was long-term;
• if the ex-husband is caring for a disabled child.

As in the case of the division of property, I recommend asking for alimony in a separate claim or application for a court order. This will speed up the process of divorcing your wife as much as possible.

Motivation and evidence

The motives that prompted the parties to resort to organizing divorce proceedings are not reflected in the legislation. Often, alcohol or drug addiction, adultery, gambling addiction, sexual dissatisfaction, discrepancies in financial and life matters, and violation of clauses of the marriage contract are cited as reasons for initiating the procedure.

According to Article 22 of the Family Code, during judicial proceedings, divorce is recognized as possible only after it is finally established that the family has fallen apart and the continued existence of the plaintiff and defendant together is impossible.

Usually the plaintiff sets out in detail the motives that led him to such a decision, explains the reasons for the collapse of the marriage and why it cannot be revived. In order for the study of materials to lead to the desired result, it is necessary to obtain evidence. It can be:

• Witnesses confirming the facts. The plaintiff files a petition to invite them to the meeting;
• Documents attached to the case.

Divorce proceedings always end in divorce. The only question is when. And how many visits to the institution will be required for this.

Divorce procedure

Despite the prevalence of divorce in society, many have no idea where to go or how to properly file for divorce in 2021. The procedure itself depends on the individual circumstances of the case, for example:

• the existing relationship between spouses;
• the presence of common children and jointly acquired property;
• opportunities to reach a compromise peacefully.

In order not to delay the procedure, it is worth finding out in advance where and what documents to submit for divorce. Let's look at what options for divorce exist.

Where to go

When it comes to officially dissolving a marriage, the question arises of where to go for divorce. It is logical to assume: if the marriage was concluded in the registry office, it can be dissolved here. In many cases this is true.

However, the legislation provides for other circumstances in which it is necessary to go to court. For example, this applies to married couples with children. Since the registry office does not dissolve such marriages, a reasonable question may arise as to where to file for divorce if there is a child.

Divorce through court

As follows from the legislation, it is not always necessary to go to court to file a divorce. However, sometimes this issue can only be resolved in court. Thus, the Family Code of the Russian Federation establishes three grounds for divorce in court:

1. Having common minor children.
2. Disagreement of one of the parties to divorce.
3. Evasion of one of the spouses from appearing at the registry office in the presence of his theoretical consent.

This does not mean that during court proceedings the couple cannot reach a compromise. If the former spouses manage to agree on a divorce, determine the place of residence and the procedure for raising children, and the specifics of the division of property, it is possible to draw up a settlement agreement on divorce.

To prevent difficulties arising during the legal process, it is important to correctly fill out the statement of claim and submit all the necessary documents. Since for a judge to make a positive decision, any claims must be substantiated and supported by evidence, it is necessary to indicate to the court in the application for divorce what reasons prompted the couple to seek a divorce.

Divorce through the registry office

In some cases, a marriage relationship can be dissolved quickly, avoiding lengthy legal proceedings. However, in accordance with the law, not everyone has such a right. Thus, there are the following conditions for divorce in the registry office:

• the spouses do not have children together under the age of 18;
• both spouses agree to divorce;
• one of the spouses is declared missing;
• one of the marriage partners has been declared legally incompetent by a court decision;
• one of the spouses was convicted and sentenced to imprisonment for a term of more than three years.

At the same time, it is possible to file a divorce through the registry office from your wife or husband on the initiative of one of the parties, provided that the other party does not object to this decision and is ready to appear at the meeting.

You can submit documents to the registry office at the place of residence of one of the spouses or at the place where the marriage was registered. This greatly simplifies the filing procedure and, accordingly, affects how the divorce process proceeds as a whole.

Find out more about divorce through the registry office.

Submitting documents through the MFC

In Russia, there are special organizations that provide a wide range of state and municipal services to citizens on the “single window” principle. One of these services is the acceptance of documents from persons wishing to dissolve a marriage.

Thus, a divorce in the absence of children can be filed through the MFC. However, before contacting one of these centers, you need to clarify whether this service is available in your specific region of residence.

Divorce through the MFC is not yet possible in all regions of the Russian Federation. You can find out about the availability of the service in your region from the Center staff or on the regional service website.

In addition, it is worth clarifying at what address to file for divorce. You need to contact the Center that provides services in the region in which the applicants got married.

Find out more about divorce through the MFC.

Submission of documents through the State Services portal

There is another option where busy citizens prefer to file a divorce claim. By using the State Services Internet portal, you can avoid standing in long lines and save your own time. To do this you need:

1. Register on the portal.
2. Create a personal account. In the future, this will provide an opportunity to receive other useful services.
3. Fill out the application electronically (some data will be transferred to it as a result of authorization).
4. Upload scanned documents to the portal, without which the civil registry office will not issue a certificate.

In this case, filing an application for divorce in person at the registry office is not provided, but you will still have to visit the office. This is necessary in order to certify the paper version of the application with a signature. Otherwise, the procedure for filing an application for divorce is no different from the general procedure for dissolving a marital relationship.

To take advantage of all the benefits of new technologies that have been introduced into the sphere of public services, read the detailed instructions on how to file for divorce through State Services.

Deadlines for filing a divorce. What influences them

It takes at least one month and 11 days to legally complete the procedure. Earlier entry into force of the resolution is illegal.

The average duration is from one and a half months in the case when the couple is ready to carry out everything quickly. If one does not agree, the matter takes from one and a half to three months, sometimes more.

On average, one meeting is enough for all formalities, ideally, and from 2 to 4 if one of the couple does not agree.

Understanding the impatience of some citizens, we note that legal acts contain time frames that must be observed. The timing of a divorce is influenced by:

• The Family Code, which states that a meeting can be held no earlier than one month from the date of registration of the claim document;
• The Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation, according to which time is given to appeal the adopted decision;
• The need to correct errors and typos;
• Failure of any party to perform required actions;
• Increased workload of court workers, slow postal service;
• Possible complaints about violations of the law in the actions of the court. If such a document is submitted by one of the participants, this delays the review process for two months.

These factors should be taken into account when starting the process and be prepared for possible surprises.

Signs that it's time to leave your husband

All marriages go through difficult periods of disagreements, claims and discontent, but not every scandal or negative experience deserves to make you want to divorce your husband. If you give up when the first negative appears, then any relationship will not last longer than six months, and for especially capricious ones longer than several months, and mistakes and difficulties will be repeated no matter how much you change people, because the reason for the inconsistency is not in behavior, but in our personal complexes and past experiences. injuries.

But there are situations that require a break in relationships, and not only those described and listed by society, but corresponding to the woman’s internal rejection. For example, for one person, having a passion is quite tolerable, the main thing is that she does not lose anything financially from it, but for another, such a situation will be so unacceptable that then for several years without appropriate psychotherapy she will not be able to trust people and establish close relationships.

Cheating is the most compelling and painful reason for the thought “I want to divorce my husband” to arise, because... exclude respect for one’s own choice, for one’s partner, and destroy trust and comfortable interaction. Someone who has been cheated on can still somehow forgive a one-time event during a period of serious disagreement, but when there are parallel full-fledged relationships on the side, it hurts quite deeply. The individual feels betrayal as a betrayal, becomes isolated and stops making normal contact.

Periodic as well as systematic infidelity are the main factor in creating a strong desire to divorce your husband, since the man no longer chooses you, does not show due respect, and most importantly does not value the relationship, which means the outcome of such interaction is predetermined and the only question is how long the woman will support the agony. It is necessary not to completely lose the love of life and not to develop many complexes for yourself, but to continue to cultivate the thought “I want to divorce my husband”, taking certain steps in this direction.

Not always associated with the presence of a mistress, but a negative moment for relationships is the issue of intimacy. Thus, irritability and dissatisfaction increase, and as a result, the spouses begin to quarrel over everyday trivialities. A woman may stop feeling desirable, and a man may lose self-respect. But intimate issues concern not only the lack of intimacy, but also unacceptable methods of implementation. This is a rather sensitive topic, and if one is hurting or forcing love in ways that are not acceptable to the other.

Physical violence, manifested as assault or threats, is the moment when you need to strengthen your desire to divorce your husband. But having fallen into any type of addiction, a woman cannot end such a relationship on her own. Pushing, pinching, as well as causing severe physical harm are unacceptable for family life.

It is necessary to leave at the first moments of manifestation of force, because if a man allows himself to do this even to a small extent, then over time the severity of the injuries may intensify or become more frequent. Moral violence often remains behind the scenes for the public and is among the reasons for divorce, but this leads to nervous exhaustion, severe depression and other mental disorders.

Humiliation and insults can turn any person into a constant victim, develop complexes and even lead to suicide. If a woman endures and still justifies a man in every possible way, then over time, enormous nervous tension can transform into real somatic illnesses.

Alcoholism or drug addiction has destroyed many families, and often a woman wants, but does not know, how to divorce her alcoholic husband. The law of any non-infantile relationship is that if a man himself does not want to get out of dependence, does not try for the family, then there is no point in waiting for the complete degradation of his personality and impoverishment. It is useless to wait for changes if there is no equivalent help in the household, and only the wife takes care of all the worries. Everyday life is hard work, in which both must participate, sharing responsibility and problems.

The spiritual aspect of a relationship reflects something that cannot be listed in any of the reasons for divorce. This is about the inner feeling that you live with a stranger, where there are no common interests, there are different goals in life and there is nothing to talk about even in the evening. The more differences in views people have, the harder it is for them to build harmonious relationships every day, even for the sake of children.

If you notice that you share the first news with a friend, discuss problems with a colleague, and even political news and the weather are more interesting for you to discuss with anyone other than your husband, then it makes sense to get a divorce. Freedom and timely understanding of the alienation of views does not create burdens for either a woman or a man in trying to tolerate each other.

Cost of state fees for divorce

At the beginning of 2021, according to Article 333.9, clause 5 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation, the state duty is 650 rubles. The same cost is enshrined in the Law “On Divorce”. Both participants in the process must pay this amount in order for their claim document to be accepted.

The legislation specifically stipulates that:

• 650 rubles are paid by couples undergoing a simplified procedure;
• 650 rubles are paid by spouses whose case is being considered in court;
• 350 rubles will have to be paid if one of the couple acquires the status of incapacity, etc.

There are also cases where the court can increase the cost of divorce. This amount includes the cost of services for registration and issuance of a divorce certificate to you at the end of the procedure.

The significant difference in the costs of marriage and its dissolution is explained by the state’s desire to preserve family relationships. An example of excesses in achieving the set goals is the initiative to increase the state duty to 30,000 rubles five years ago. A group of State Duma deputies proposed demanding such an amount from each spouse, justifying this by the fact that this would increase the birth rate and increase the responsibility of citizens when making a decision about marriage.

Such a proposal deprived many citizens of the opportunity to get a divorce, infringed on their rights and violated several laws of the Russian Federation. In addition, such conversations frightened the majority of our compatriots, many of whom did not want to get married at all.

Fortunately, this initiative was not reflected in reality and such a norm does not exist in laws today.

How to tell your spouse about divorce?

These tips are designed for situations where the husband does not pose a serious threat to the woman and a constructive dialogue with him is possible .

Basic recommendations:

1. Before the dialogue, try to calm down. During the discussion, you should not behave aggressively or rudely. Conflicts will no longer lead to anything: everything has already happened, and you need to go through the stage of divorce in such a way that it is the least painful for both.
2. Choose a convenient moment. It is best to start the discussion at a time when you both have enough free time. For example, it is better not to start a conversation before work.
3. Make sure the man is sane.
   You should not discuss divorce in the following cases: the man is drunk, under the influence of drugs or drugs that can affect cognitive abilities and sanity, angry, irritated, not getting enough sleep, tired, or feeling unwell.
4. Choose a good phrase. Do not use expressions that can create the appearance that you are not sure of your decision, such as “maybe”, “probably”, “it seems to me”, “apparently”. Use categorical options that leave no choice like “I decided to divorce you,” “I filed for divorce yesterday.”

Be polite to him and let him know that you need to discuss details related to the divorce.

Let him know that you are ready to discuss them later, when it is convenient for him.

If a man is an abuser and you are unable to fully talk with him out of fear for your life and health, you should either not notify him about the divorce, or inform him about it using methods that do not involve a personal meeting (phone call, chat on social media). networks, Skype call, email).

Of course, in this case you should stay away from him, in a safe place.

Practical experience and legal advice

When a person inexperienced in the intricacies of jurisprudence is faced with the judicial system and the need to go through the difficulties of divorce, he gets lost and makes mistakes that can be costly. Understanding the wording, names of documents, and awareness of your own rights will help you not to panic at the right time and defend your own interests.

Here are some tips for some situations based on experience and human logic.

The husband does not want to get a divorce and says that he will not give a divorce

It absolutely does not follow from this that there is no way out, and you will have to come to terms with your situation. A marriage union is based on the voluntary participation of both parties in it. Calmly file a claim in the magistrate’s court, constantly go to meetings or send your representative there. You can seek the help of a lawyer, which will speed up and simplify the procedure.

The judicial body has the right to make a decision without the physical presence of the defendant in the event that he maliciously ignores participation in the process.

It is much more dangerous when the husband attends the meetings, prepares for them and puts forward his counterarguments in challenging your rights to property, children, and alimony. Here the magistrate may be powerless; you will be forced to transfer the hearing to the district court. Since the competence of the magistrate's court does not extend to the division of property worth more than 50,000 rubles and decisions about the fate of the child.

At this stage, a lawyer is needed even more, because such a development of the situation will require much more nerves, time and money.

Wife does not agree to divorce

There is no point in prolonging the situation. You can force him to abandon the divorce process in case of pregnancy or before the child reaches the age of 1 year. Then he will achieve his goal anyway. You will be left with a damaged nervous system and completely destroyed relationships.

It is even more thoughtless to manipulate a husband through children. Forbid them to meet, turn them against their father. The desire to punish your husband by isolating him from the children can cost everyone too much. Russian courts almost always rule in favor of the mother. But think about what will happen after your victory today.

You may have to change your place of residence, take your kids away from their usual environment and get used to a new place with them. Isn’t it easier to share the burden of responsibility between two people, rather than carrying this burden alone?

Wasting time, getting bogged down in useless haggling for every fork and chair is tiresome and futile. This will happen against your wishes. And then you will have to go through the courts for a long time and, in the end, lose much more.

How is property divided according to the law?

The Family Code contains norms according to which everything acquired during marriage is divided equally, that is, into two equal parts. However, what is donated, inherited and belongs personally to one of the spouses is not divided.

Do not give up without complaint:

• Jewelry production. Although jewelry is not a personal item and opponents will insist on dividing it, if it is given to you, do not give up right away. Find witnesses that they were given to you, show the court the gift engravings, take care of a video confirming the fact. Note the feminine style of the product, because it could not be purchased for a man;
• Property acquired by you for your family, if in order to purchase it you had to sell valuables that are not legally related to common property. Let's say, to buy your husband's car, you sold your grandmother's antique necklace and the fur coat that your dad gave you. Collect evidence and present it in court;
• Property purchased for your children. Servants of the law carefully consider the circumstances of a possible violation of the interests and rights of a child. Children's property cannot be divided. Therefore, no one can take away and divide a laptop, tablet, bank accounts, parts of real estate registered in the name of children;
• All household appliances in the house if the children stay with you. It is vital for organizing a healthy environment in the home so that his children can also live and study in peace;
• A car, because children need to be transported to schools, kindergartens, classes, around the city, so as not to disrupt their usual way of life.

Remember, at this moment you are deciding what not only your life will be, but also the life of your children. Therefore, discard thoughts of pride, independence and nobility, this is for the admiring sighs of strangers who will talk about it for a short time. And then the time will come to survive and bear responsibility alone. Since there is war, then you need to act according to the laws of war; lawyers will find ways to divide property with an advantage for you.

Third parties interested in property

It is especially difficult when third parties take part in the resolution of property disputes, claiming rights to the family’s joint property during division. These could be banks, creditors, co-owners of this very family belongings. They have the right to challenge the agreements you have reached if they feel that their interests are not being respected.

For example, your home is the collateral of a mortgage agreement. Who will pay the mortgage after you split? Banks almost never agree to split a loan and end up with two debtors instead of the one with whom the agreement was signed. In such a situation, the court has no choice but to recognize your debt as common and indivisible. This means that if the defendant disappears, collection companies will make the plaintiff’s life a living hell. It's easier after all.

However, there is no need to panic. A competent lawyer, empowered to represent your interests in court, will be able to recover losses caused by loans taken for family needs. Such precedents are not uncommon.

Test: Should you divorce your spouse?

This simple test will help you determine whether you should get a divorce. Answer questions and count points.

Do you think your husband takes enough care of you?

Yes – 0 point; No – 1 point;

Does it happen that when spending time with your husband, you remain in a gloomy mood for a long time?

Yes – 1 point; No – 0 points;

Are you irritated by your husband's hobbies?

Yes – 1 point, No – 0 points;

Do you want your husband to talk to you more, talk about his past day?

Yes – 0 points; No – 1 point;

Do you think that almost all of your friends and acquaintances have better husbands than yours?

Yes – 1 point; No – 0 points;

Are you happy about your husband's success?

Yes – 0 point, No – 1 point;

Do you want to look attractive in front of your husband, for example, at home?

No – 1 point; Yes – 0 points;

Do you think your husband's job is more important than yours?

Yes - 0 points; No – 1 point;

In your opinion, does your husband pay enough attention to the children? If there are no children, do you think he will be a good father?

No – 1 point; Yes – 0 points;

Do you think that your life with your husband has improved compared to what it was before?

Yes – 0 points; No – 1 point;

Do you feel irritated with your husband on a daily basis?

Yes -1 point; No – 0 points;

Results:

0-3 points:

There are not as many problems in your marriage as you think. The results indicate that relationships can still be fought for. Try to think about how you can bring respect, love and other aspects of happy unions back into your marriage. Give your husband a chance.

4-7 points:

There are many problems in marriage, but if they have not been resolved for a long time, and you do not see the opportunity and desire of your husband to eliminate them, then this can lead to divorce.

8-11 points:

There is no point in continuing your life together. You need to separate at least for a while to look at marriage from a new angle. If problems are protracted, they are unlikely to be resolved. Don't waste time, it's time to move on separately from each other.

Why is the moment of ending a marriage important?

Spouses, like all citizens, need to protect their rights and interests under the law. To ensure this condition, it is important to record the moment when the union ceases to operate. Its definition is contained in Article 25 of the UK.

If the divorce process was carried out by employees of the registry office, such a marriage is terminated on the day when an entry about this fact was made in the civil register.

Judicial divorce means the end of a marriage on the day the court decision comes into force. The law has a very important clause that former spouses do not have the right to enter into a new marriage until they have received a certificate of divorce from the registry office, that is, until the state registration of this document.

The consequences of divorce affect future legal relationships. As a result of completing the procedure, your personal and property relations are terminated; some rights and obligations specified in legal acts remain:

• The ex-wife can leave her husband’s surname unchanged (clause 3 of Article 32 of the Family Code) without asking his consent;
• Under special circumstances, one of the couple may receive funds (alimony) from the other for his maintenance (Article 90 of the Family Code);
• The legal relationship between parents and children does not end with the termination of a marriage.

Frequent occasions

Cheating on your wife is an adequate reason for divorce

There are different reasons for divorcing your wife. Some of them are minor, after thinking everything through well, you can fix everything, while others are very serious - divorce is the only way out.

1. I'm tired of the monotony and quiet, calm life. Here you need to analyze yourself and the whole situation as a whole. You may be lacking adrenaline, but why get a divorce right away? Climb a mountain and make a parachute jump. After all, no one forces you to sit at home and do nothing. In addition, it is not necessary that boredom is dictated by the presence of a specific woman next to you. After all, it could easily turn out that, in fact, you have lost the true purpose of your life or you are too lazy to strive for something. Perhaps you just need to reconsider your life ideals and take care of yourself.
2. The wife constantly nags, is dissatisfied with everything, humiliates and insults. There are three options to consider here. In the first, you have a good wife, but she also has the right to be dissatisfied with something. And in this case, you just need to listen to her demands. The second option is that she endlessly humiliates, this is the type of woman who cannot live without biting her husband. At the same time, some men constantly strive to become better so that their spouse does not reproach them, and thus achieves many successes. But if your changes aren't enough, maybe she just needs someone else. The third option is that the man himself provokes scandals. This most often happens if he no longer has feelings, there is a desire to start a relationship with another woman, but he is tormented by a feeling of guilt.
3. Treason. Perhaps you have such a nature, you are not able to remain faithful to one woman, from time to time you go on the side, but at the same time you continue to love your spouse and do not want to part with her. If you are caught in the act, you need to rehabilitate yourself, say that you love your wife very much, and this will never happen again. The second case is when everything is fine in the family, but suddenly a woman appears who drives you crazy. And here a difficult choice arises. If she cheats, you can forgive if you love her very much. If you have been looking for a reason for divorce for a long time, then this is a suitable case.
4. My wife was tormented by constant bouts of jealousy. Perhaps she is not confident in herself or is afraid of losing you. It is possible that the fear is due to the fact that you have previously been seen cheating. But sometimes jealousy becomes pathological. And here you cannot do without the help of a psychologist, but there is no need to get a divorce right away.