Why is a married lover jealous of her husband?

How does this happen

It's not surprising that girls like married men. They are well-groomed, confident, neatly dressed, and in good physical shape. Young women without life experience do not understand that a man looks good thanks to his caring wife. However, someone else's husband also takes pleasure in courting the girl. Men, like children, love new beautiful toys, although it is possible that he himself can become seriously interested in an attractive person and become her lover. A married lady is no less attractive to him. She takes care of herself, does not need funds and will not advertise her relationship. And secret meetings seem exciting and romantic.

Why is he jealous

When a girl becomes a mistress, according to a man, she should belong only to him. Each representative of the stronger sex considers himself unique in all respects, which means he thinks that he receives all the rights to her. Why a married man is jealous of his mistress is not clear at first glance. Jealousy does not always indicate great love; it can arise in the following cases:

• A man got married “out of nowhere” or at an early age, and is not too attached to his wife;
• He is sincerely in love and is afraid of losing his beloved woman; perhaps he plans to connect his life with her in the future;
• He does not trust his mistress, since the girl has many admirers and loves to flirt;
• The man himself cheats on his wife, so he is afraid of his mistress’ betrayal;
• The woman is married and he is jealous of her husband.

There may be other motives for the appearance of jealousy, for example, the girl’s character is more reserved, she is not used to openly expressing her feelings, which suggests the existence of other close relationships. Or, on the contrary, she is flirtatious and loves to communicate with other representatives of the stronger sex.

Jealousy on the part of a lover

The nature of a man requires that he be the only partner a woman has. Sharing her with another person is unacceptable to him, so he gets angry when his married lover does not belong entirely to him. Jealousy usually occurs in a person who is insecure. Thoughts appear that he is worse than her husband, since she stays with him. Jealous feelings sometimes arise from the fear of losing a lover. Most likely, the guy developed a deep love for her.

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The reasons that he is jealous of a lady towards other men depend on his psychological type. Guys are:

• owners;
• disadvantaged;
• those who project onto themselves.

The male owner is vain and arrogant. He is an egoist, so for him only his opinion exists. A woman for him is a thing that belongs only to him. If the lady smiled at the waiter, put on a short skirt, put on high-heeled shoes, and put on bright makeup, then her lover’s jealousy is guaranteed.

A disadvantaged person is jealous due to uncertainty that he is worthy of his lady. He considers himself not smart, attractive, or sociable enough to keep his mistress close, especially if he is single, and his chosen one is married and remains in the family. In this case, there is no point in being jealous of your husband, because the lady was looking for him for goals that are difficult to achieve with her husband. You need to remain calm and console yourself with the thought that since a woman chose him, it means he is better than her other half.

When a lover is very jealous of his husband, he can show distrust of the girl in this way. He himself cheats on his wife, so he is jealous of his mistress of her husband, considering their living together as a betrayal.

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How and why you can cause jealousy

Some women deliberately provoke their partner's jealousy. They resort to this solution when they do not have enough attention from a man and it seems to them that he has cooled down. There are the following ways to induce jealousy:

• ignoring;
• flirting;
• skipping a date;
• success with other men.

It's not just women who love attention. Sometimes it seems that men need it more. When they don't get it, they start to worry. To make your lover or husband jealous, you need to give up the habit of following him everywhere, depriving him of freedom.

Flirting should be light and careful. Instead of hanging it around your neck, you should smile at men, have fun and relaxed conversations with them. Noticing the admiring glances of other people, the gentleman will begin to show jealousy. To strengthen a person's feelings, you should skip a date for an unexcused reason. The girl can tell him that she has another appointment. You still need to come to the next date. If your lover is not jealous, you need to tell him about what your communication with other partners was like. Some facts will excite him.

Signs of pathological manifestations of jealousy

When a man's jealousy destroys the lives of both partners, it can be called pathological. This feeling is pleasant in small doses, but not in the form of an imposition. Among the signs of this pathology are the following:

• aggression without a reason;
• refusal of kisses and hugs when trying to show feelings;
• constant reproaches with or without reason;
• dissatisfaction and a frown.

A man needs to increase his self-esteem, because the lady has already made her choice in favor of him and is building a relationship with him. Behind the obsessive feeling of jealousy there may be a fear of losing a partner. It is important to understand that there are many interesting and attractive girls in the world. The ability to respect and appreciate yourself will free you from the persecuted feeling of jealousy.

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Why is negative emotion dangerous for a woman?

Jealousy in adequate doses can strengthen relationships. When there is a lot of it, it destroys life. It is important for a woman to feel spiritual closeness. If a man is jealous or gives reasons for jealousy, his beloved is very worried. This negative emotion breaks relationships and complicates life. It becomes unbearable to live together, and separation occurs. Constant reproaches for wrongdoing can provoke real betrayal. Jealousy sometimes leads to mental disorders.

Reasons for jealousy

Jealousy is a painful feeling and cannot be controlled. The young man himself sometimes does not understand why he is jealous, especially since his partner does not expect reproaches from him. Most likely, he loses his temper due to his character. This happens for the following reasons:

• Out of the sense of ownership characteristic of the stronger sex, he does not want anyone else to approach his girlfriend;
• Due to doubts about oneself, one’s attractiveness, wealth, position in society;
• From distrust of a mistress, of women in general, if there is experience of deception and betrayal on their part, excessive impressionability;
• Due to fear of separation in the future, uncertainty about the sincerity of the partner’s feelings;
• Because of his attachment to the girl, the hope of connecting his life with her in the future.

If the lover is simply pathologically jealous, the girl urgently needs to end the relationship with him, since the jealous person may turn out to be mentally ill and turn her life into hell with his suspicion. It will be extremely difficult to get rid of him; he will constantly lay claim to her.

How jealousy manifests itself

Jealousy manifests itself differently in every man, depending on his temperament and character. Signs of this feeling are expressed in his behavior.

1. The choleric person shows his feelings most openly. He screams, gets angry, demands confession of betrayal, even if his mistress is not guilty of anything. A representative of a strong temperament does not restrain his impulses. He demands devotion from a woman, despite the fact that he himself is not free, he considers himself the master of the situation, like a sultan ruling his harem. However, this narcissistic leader experiences deep suffering if the girl flirts with others or cheats on him.
2. The sanguine person behaves more cautiously. First, he collects facts and evidence, and only after that he accuses his mistress of treason. A cheerful and sociable man is not jealous, but if his mistress likes to flirt or tells him about her fans, he does not like it at all. However, he knows how to control himself and smile when he is in pain.
3. A phlegmatic person is not at all jealous; he is always calm and balanced. He doesn’t make scenes for his partner until he knows for sure that she’s cheating on him. Then the man will get really angry and leave, ending all relations with her.
4. A melancholic person shows his jealousy in a completely different way. He may cry like a child to gain pity. He will revel in his suffering; the role of the victim suits him. He is ready to forgive his mistress for flirting and betrayal, as long as she doesn’t drive him away. If his girlfriend does not take pity on him and does not take on the role of a caring mother, he confesses everything to his wife in the hope that she will sympathize with him.

In any case, a man does not want to be deceived or exchanged for a new boyfriend or husband. The girl is discouraged by the fact that her lover demands fidelity from her, although he calmly continues to live with his wife. Such triangles, quadrangles and even polygons can exist for years. People form, as it were, additional families, the man constantly meets with his mistress for a long time and is sure that the woman must be faithful to him.

How to behave correctly

Having understood what psychotype your lover belongs to, you can develop a strategy for behavior around him. Relationships with a choleric person are built on maintaining his pathological leadership. He needs praise for his life and sexual achievements from his mistress. It's nice to hear a lady belittle other men. The official husband of his mistress is for him the most serious rival, an evil enemy, because he drove his wife to look for another partner. The gentleman is glad that the lady found him and is grateful to him for his patronage to the point of tears.

You can relax with a jealous sanguine person. He will not provide problems until the girl creates them herself. You shouldn’t remind him that she is married every time, then jealousy will be adequate. Women love obstacles and problematic situations. They begin to pass off their lover as a colleague and introduce them to their husband and friends. A sanguine lover will make friends with his legal partner, but will forget about his mistress, so it is better to organize dates in another territory, further from home. The topics should be chosen the same. It is better to talk about the relationship between lovers than about spouses. An effective remedy against jealousy in a sanguine person is good sex.

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There are usually no problems with a phlegmatic lover. But if the mistress is cold, does not pay attention to him, often disappears for a long time, then he himself will want to leave. With him, it is better not to brag about your husband and the increased attention to yourself from other men. You can attract him with gentle declarations of feelings.

You need to be careful with a melancholic person. It is better to remain silent about your husband, otherwise he will become furious and make a scene with snot and tears. In this case, you will need to calm him down. He likes it. It is best to break up with this type of lover before he threatens suicide.

When a married lover is jealous of even a free lover, he should be reminded that he is married, and she has no family, so she has the right to communicate with other candidates for the role of husband.

How to save a relationship

When entering into such relationships, people often experience deep feelings and cannot change anything. A man tries to save his family for various reasons:

• He doesn’t want to offend his wife, who suits him perfectly;
• Waiting for the children to grow up;
• Does not see his mistress as a wife;
• Doesn't want to make decisions himself and take responsibility.

When a woman is married, she deliberately takes on a married lover, believing that he will not be jealous and knows how to maintain secrecy. However, in reality it turns out to be completely different: he creates scenes and, in a fit of jealousy, can behave carelessly, which leads to conflicts in the families of lovers. In the end, the woman risks being left without a husband, and the partner can repent to his wife and save the family. This situation does not please any of the participants in the events. If they want to maintain a relationship without making it public, partners turn to a psychologist for advice.

A woman who is sincerely interested in maintaining a secret relationship can take steps to ensure that her lover is confident in her feelings. The main thing that needs to be done, according to the psychologist, is to talk frankly. Explain to the man that she values ​​meetings with him and does not want to lose him or exchange him for someone else. If she is free, you should directly talk about the seriousness of your intentions, about your desire to create a family with your loved one. Under no circumstances should you call your wife and present evidence of a love relationship. A man must make a decision himself, and arrogance and unceremoniousness will push him away without yielding positive results.

If a woman intends to continue the relationship, she should behave with her lover in accordance with his type of temperament.

1. The choleric person should be reminded more often that he is the most important person in her life, and other men do not deserve attention because they cannot compare with him. This is exactly what he wants to hear from his beloved.
2. You should discuss all his suspicions in detail with a sanguine person, refute them, stop teasing him and talk about your successes with the opposite sex. This will be enough to prevent scenes of jealousy from recurring.
3. A phlegmatic person does not need persuasion; he will continue communication if there are no obvious signs of betrayal. You just shouldn't make fun of his feelings. Balanced men are distinguished by constancy and depth of feelings.
4. A melancholic person should simply be reassured, stroked on the head and promised not to leave him. He needs a mistress to complain about his wife and cry into his vest.

It is worth establishing a relationship with a married lover only if the woman values ​​this connection and does not plan to part with her partner, regardless of whether he intends to divorce his wife or not. Most likely, she is characterized by low self-esteem.

Why is a lover jealous?

There are different types of lovers. A woman can date both a single gentleman and a married man. The reasons why single lovers are jealous seem more reasonable than the jealousy of an already married gentleman. But jealousy does not choose, it simply settles in the heart, which is why a woman has to find out why her lover is jealous.

There may also be a sense of possessiveness here. It is not enough for a man to have only a wife; give him a whole harem of mistresses. A man is an owner who wants to be the only sexual partner in the lives of those women with whom he builds relationships and hangs out.

If you take a lover who does not have a family, then the cause of jealousy may be self-doubt. A woman has a choice about who to stay with, but he has no choice yet. He understands that, most likely, the woman will choose her husband, since he is also not ideal.

The situation becomes very interesting when a secret relationship arises between former lovers. They once broke up, and now they got back together, only now she also has a husband, and he, perhaps, has a wife. Jealousy can arise towards a husband due to the fact that now this woman already belongs not only to her lover, who was the first in her life, but also to her husband, the second after him.

Is it worth continuing the relationship?

The woman decides for herself whether it is worth maintaining such a relationship. Perhaps the feelings of love and affection for a married man can be deep, and despite the duality of her situation, she is not ready to part with this man. Maybe she hopes that someday he will divorce and marry her. Such miracles sometimes happen, but usually they happen in the first two years after the meeting. Most likely, he is not going to change anything, but promises to marry only to appease his mistress.

From an outside perspective, this relationship is most likely futile. When a young woman, not burdened with a family, dates a married man for many years, she devotes her life to him, but he behaves like an egoist. He promises to divorce, but does nothing, considers the girl his property and torments her with his jealousy. For a loving woman, suspicions of infidelity are offensive. He convinces that he loves her, but in fact, he only takes advantage of her beauty and youth and gives nothing in return. In addition, the lover demands fidelity from her, forgetting that he himself constantly fulfills marital duties, has children and lives as he wants. Years go by, the girl cannot start her own family, give birth to children, or feel like a full-fledged wife and mother. At the same time, the man does not hesitate to demand absolute fidelity from her and continues to stage scenes of jealousy.

If a woman is not prone to masochism and is tired of the role of a mistress, she will draw the right conclusions: she will be able to find herself a worthy man who will respect her and offer to marry him. This is the only way she will get rid of secret meetings and constant scenes of jealousy.

How to make your lover jealous?

Sometimes a woman wants a man to be jealous of her. This desire becomes especially relevant when a man has already cooled off towards a woman. And here the most important thing is not to go too far in an attempt to cause jealousy, because you may take a step that will be offensive to a man. And instead of being jealous, the man will hate the woman and even want to break up with her.

So, how to make your lover jealous - ways:

• Ignoring. Men love to be the center of attention from their women. But when the ladies cool down towards them, they then begin to worry. To cause jealousy, you need to stop following a man around, give him freedom, and even cool off towards him to some extent.
• Flirting. But here you need to be careful. Flirting should not be obvious when you hang yourself on the necks of other men. If you want to arouse jealousy, just start communicating in an interesting and fun way with other men. You are not hinting at a relationship or interest, but simply communicating with them. At the same time, your gentleman will see how other gentlemen communicate with you, how interested and admired they are by you, that he will immediately become jealous.
• Miss a meeting, and do it for an unexcused reason. You forgot, stayed late with your girlfriends, made an appointment with someone else, or simply changed your plans. Just come to the next meeting.
• Be in demand among men. Start telling your lover innocent stories every time about how you communicated with other men. You gave someone directions, tried on a dress and the seller complimented your appearance, a guy who wanted to meet you sat down on your bench. In other words, start telling your gentleman that you are interested in you, that you are attracted to him - this will excite him.

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