Why you're unlucky in love and what to do to be lucky

Why is a girl unlucky in love?

Girls may find it impossible to build a love relationship because they initially have inflated demands on their chosen one.
Many people are told from childhood that they need a good boy, they read fairy tales about princes, and they inflate their self-esteem, despite their real merits. But good boys are not real, and the best girl is so spoiled that she is disgusting. Most beautiful women consider love as an investment and demand mountains of gold from their partners for their appearance. Those who believed in their parents’ words of praise can be very burned by the fact that there are more beautiful, smart girls in the world, while still having normal self-esteem and kindness. Personal inflated demands do not allow one to see a real person, and if self-esteem is greatly reduced, then the girl does not believe that she is loved, perceiving this either as a mockery or as a prelude to exploitation.

Any biased attitude is dictated by a high level of anxiety. Only the construction of a pre-selected picture, demands on a person and the reluctance to see him in truth with slight surprise, exploring a new world, leads to the same demands from him. The more sketchy the attitude towards the guy, the more sketchy he will be towards her, and then regrets about insincerity will come.

Fear also has a strong influence, here everyone has their own reasons - some are afraid of being abandoned or hearing unflattering reviews, others are afraid that after a date they will ruin their reputation with gossip, some are afraid to open up and let people approach them. As a result, personality and needs are hidden, and the girl tries to please, please, predict, but it is impossible to interest her with a mask. The more games there are in building relationships, the shorter the romance.

Why are women unlucky in love? How can I change everything?

According to statistics, beautiful and successful girls are more often unlucky in love. The reason for bad luck mainly lies in behavior and excessive demands on a partner.

After all, a loved one must be:

• rich;
• smart;
• handsome;
• have a sense of humor;
• play sports, etc.

The woman begins to wait for the prince, not allowing herself to see the merits of a partner with whom she could be happy.

Expectations of a rich groom

Parents often instill in girls that their husband must be rich. And if in adolescence the daughter begins to date a poor person, the meetings are stopped.

As a result, money comes first in relationships. Commercialism makes it impossible to consider a person’s merits, and having found a rich man, women are sincerely surprised why the relationship does not work out. Left alone, they resume their search for a rich companion.

Bad luck with money can be associated with saying certain phrases

Money is a strong energy substance, which, if mishandled or unsightly phrases spoken in relation to it, can cause a person to be offended. Before voicing out loud words such as, for example: “I won’t hunch over these pennies” or “Damn this money.” Such benefits of modernity can easily be removed from a person if he does not address them with respect or expresses them incompetently.

Finance loves trepidation and care. Even a small sum is better than empty pockets. Whatever a person’s earnings, it is worth being grateful to them. There are magical ways to attract funds. But even this method will not give the long-awaited result. The most important thing is that if you have problems with money, reconsider your attitude towards them. Otherwise, all possible finances will bypass the person in every possible way.

Women with unprocessed childhood traumas and difficult relationships with parents

There is no ideal relationship with your parents, and that's okay. It would be good to work through the main difficulties and traumas received while growing up and free yourself from the pain that has accompanied you for many years. But not everyone does this, and this prevents you from building a healthy relationship with your partner. “If as a child you felt a lack of love, as an adult you will always not have enough of it in your personal relationships,” comments Veronika Sysoeva, psychiatrist, narcologist, psychotherapist, candidate of medical sciences, expert on working with MAK, author of Instagram. blog @thetalife_veronika. — The symptom of “dislike” destroys. The lack of personal life is associated with a constant feeling of lack of love from a partner and, as a result, with conflicts about this and the end of the relationship.”

Attitudes received in childhood can also interfere with personal happiness. “In addition to our parents, at an early age we are surrounded by a huge number of other people: kindergarten teachers, teachers at school, peers, other relatives, parents of friends, neighbors. Remember what conflicts and traumatic situations there were. How could any of this affect your happiness as an adult? - asks Veronika Sysoeva. — For my patients, for example, situations emerge in their memories of how boys could hit, insult, call, or hurt. This is where the program “communication with men is unsafe”, “men cannot be trusted” is formed. I think it’s clear what the expected forecast for the future in my personal life is.”

If you notice that approximately the same scenario is repeated in your relationship, it may be worth discussing this with a psychologist and finding the roots of the problem.

How to get rid of bad luck and failures with the help of a Slavic conspiracy

You can get rid of failures using other methods. This ritual is recommended to be performed only on Saturday evening. Try to make sure that no one distracts you during it. Go to the shower and, standing under the ice-cold water, say: “Forget me.” Then make the water a little warmer and again, standing in the shower, say: “Away with me!” The next time, increasing the temperature, say: “Keep me out of here!” And the last time, under the hottest water possible, you need to say: “Keep away from me, get out of here!” Wash away from my life with water!” Without drying yourself with a towel, immediately go to the mirror, throw an unnecessary rag on the floor and, standing on it, say:

“As water flows and drips from me, so do adversity leave me. I admire myself in the reflection and utter magic words. May there be happiness and good luck in my life. I’m leaving all the idle rumors behind me, opening a new life.”

Once dry, hide it in a bag, and late at night take it as far from the house as possible or hide it in the ground.

Why do I have bad luck all the time, what is the reason

There are people whose whole life is a complete nightmare. Something constantly happens to them, bad luck haunts them, their health fails, even the people around them notice strange things. Surely such losers often wonder: why are they unlucky all the time? To understand this, you need to find out the reason behind bad luck, and then think about how to deal with this reason.

As we wrote earlier, the reason for bad luck may be the evil eye or damage

Perhaps someone did it carelessly or intentionally. Everyone is familiar with the picture of young parents walking with a small child in a stroller.

This is the time when an acquaintance comes up to them and begins to praise the child, and then spits figuratively or literally, so as not to jinx it. Sometimes people, without meaning to, praise someone for their beautiful appearance or some successes, and then everything they praised for begins to collapse with incredible force.

What is the reason for bad luck? One of the reasons is the person himself. Perhaps we are talking about an overly passive person who, due to his laziness or unwillingness to do anything on his own, cannot achieve anything in his life. At the same time, excessive gullibility is the best reason for selfish people to benefit.

To avoid being the cause of trouble yourself, start working as soon as possible. Do you often lose money, phones, keys and other items? Be more attentive and careful, check your pockets and bags to make sure everything is in place. Are people taking advantage of you and deceiving you, even your friends don’t care about you? Work on your character, find that inner core within yourself and don’t forget about self-respect. No rise up the career ladder? Try to be more hardworking and goal-oriented.

If you are unlucky in life, then probably the reason may be hidden in the subconscious. Some people make everyone the culprit except themselves: parents, friends, bosses, animals, I even blame everything on brownies. If you constantly instill bad thoughts and set yourself up for failure, then nothing good will come of it. Instead, repeat that difficulties are temporary, with perseverance everything will definitely work out.

The beginning of all troubles often lies in the surrounding circumstances. Are things not going well financially? Try changing your job or type of activity, find something you like. Your personal life isn't going well and you can't find a life partner? Reconsider your views on relationships. It is possible that some kind of barrier has been built in the form of high standards and expectations. Be simpler in communication and develop yourself to be an interesting interlocutor. Don’t be afraid to take the first steps, both towards everything new and on the way to new acquaintances. Uncertainty will only attract failure, but winners overcome everything.

What to do if you are “unlucky” in love

“All we need is love,” the Beatles sang, many people say and think. And I am no exception. Love rules the World! She! And that's great! What to do if you are unlucky in love? If it doesn't exist, or does it cause more suffering than joy? You have a way out! Yes, yes, exactly yours . Provided that you take 100% responsibility for this.

When there is no love, or it has left, or the person next to you is not the same, the colors of the world fade, the person feels unhappy. No matter how much you talk about the art of being happy, we all reach out to love, like the Sun, warming us and giving us the energy of life. We need a soul mate, whatever one may say.

...Well, come, beloved, come, forbid me to be lonely. Come, please come. Lead me with you... Hurrying stupid arrows, not coming up with anything, I have already forgiven you, my master. Everything is usual in my dream, I wish - not at all suddenly - To be crucified on the cross with careful and strong hands! So that we could feel hot, and then even hotter!.. And bury ourselves in your shoulder. And wake up on this shoulder...” R. Rozhdestvensky “Monologue of a Woman”

In this post I will share with you tips on what to do if you are unlucky in love, how not to feel unhappy in the absence of “good love” and a little about how to attract it.

Don't look at yourself through your partner's lens

Women's success is often judged by their status. Whether she is married or not. Are you married to a decent person? And the husband’s virtues are considered very superficially. How often do women, in fear that they will not be able to find anyone else later, marry the first person they meet, proving to society that they are worthwhile. And they live with a tyrant, a jealous person, a walking reproach, a traitor and simply an indifferent person.

Is it really fulfilling to live with something like this?! And you yourself are to blame for the fact that you are supposedly “unlucky” with your husband or in love. Often, this is exactly what you deserve.

You see, I managed to call you my favorite! It wouldn’t be necessary - right away... After all, it’s better when it’s done gradually. After all, it’s better later, it’s better after... Darling, listen, it’s better... But where will I find this best ?!

It is already a scientifically proven fact that women with low self-esteem do not attract the men they want. They attract those who are looking for victims. We and everything around us is energy in different forms that vibrates at different frequencies. A woman who is dissatisfied with herself has low vibrations - only 20 on a scale from 0 to 1000. This is a signal - attention, something is wrong with me! And men are the first to catch this signal. Do you think they want a woman with whom something is wrong?

How to raise your vibration level?

Fill the ocean with self-love. Increase your self-esteem, your value and do not humiliate yourself with unworthy relationships and marriages. Learn to be brave, persistent and confident. Develop, become more interesting, kinder, wiser.

Reasons why you have no luck with girls

Men complain less often, but they are interested in why they have no luck in their personal lives with girls. What both sexes have in common is growing up among individuals with cross-gender issues, and while it is more common for girls to choose the wrong person, men suffer more from the inability to start a relationship

Here it is important to trace the role of the mother, as the first woman who can hold her son so tightly next to her, especially if she is without a husband, that there is simply nowhere to insert the appearance of a companion either in terms of energy or free time space. All girls can be unworthy or materialistic; over time, this position becomes internal to the man himself and, meeting another woman, he immediately sees only her shortcomings

A critical attitude, searching for flaws, testing, moralizing - this is not what you can start a relationship with. Instant falling in love, where it is impossible to notice that the girl ignores signs of sympathy, openly sends a suitor. These are problems with the basic function of reality testing, which leads to illogical actions.

Complexes paralyze men because there is a stable myth about the necessary confidence, security and other qualities of genius. Seeing a good girl, a guy can be so demanding of himself that he won’t approach her, considering himself unworthy

Such men very skillfully attribute active attention from the fair sex to friendship, the desire of girls to cheer him up or take pity on him

The fear of showing one’s courage is largely paralyzed by feminist movements, when a man no longer knows whether he can pay for dinner, pick up a lady, protect her from a rude word, or whether this will be regarded as humiliation or harassment. Girls enjoy male strength, masculinity and the opportunity to be weak and not decide anything. The more a man asks what a woman wants, the more he buries himself, because it is better to offer at least some options. The less he bothers her, so as not to intrude and respect personal space, the more likely it is that someone more confident will appear in this freed-up space.

Guys rarely go to psychologists, increasingly looking for answers on forums and in magazines, but the stories do not apply to him and his girlfriend, and advice is often given by the same losers, because those who have a family are busy with it, and not with writing answers . You need to figure it out individually and not listen to template advice, as it may not work or create a bad reputation.

Why am I unlucky in love? What to do?

Unsettledness, despair, loneliness are problems that many people face today. Probably each of us dreams of high feelings, but for some reason they come to some and last a lifetime, while for others, lovers appear only for a while, and then disappear - a desert mirage.

Why are you so unlucky in love? And what needs to be done for the “bird of happiness” to fly into your home?

Many psychologists argue that most of the blame for love failures lies with the person himself. On the one hand, this is wonderful, because with some effort, we can eliminate the cause of bad luck and plunge headlong into a new life - happy and filled with strong feelings.

Sometimes this requires the help of a specialist, but usually the problem can be solved on your own - the main thing is to understand the background of loneliness and take the right steps towards your happiness.

Stereotypes that appeared in childhood

Sometimes people build relationships with their partners following the example of their parents, and much more often such stereotypes arise among the fair sex. So, if a mother has failed in love, then she can instill in her daughter a negative attitude towards men. What to do? First of all, understand that a person should have his own opinion and not think at the suggestion of his relatives.

Having noticed the similarity between your life and your parents’, try to rethink your view of the opposite sex and begin to live without regard to the established attitude towards it.

Complexes, dissatisfaction with oneself

When a person considers himself unlucky, believes that no one needs him, no one can love him, then with a high probability everything will happen. Some people don’t like their own physique, others are dissatisfied with their facial features, hair or eye color, and still others think that they have no sense of humor or are too boring. There can be many reasons for dissatisfaction with yourself, and all of them together interfere with the improvement of your personal life.

Love yourself, find virtues in yourself that you can be proud of - you undoubtedly have them. You simply must value yourself, because without this it is impossible to love another. This is the only way you can become more confident, believe in your strengths and stop subconsciously sending the message to others that you are unworthy of love and personal happiness. Having overcome your complexes, you will notice that the attitude towards you has become completely different - warmer and more trusting.

Obsessiveness and lack of self-care

Many women think that having won the heart of a man, they no longer need to make efforts and maintain the “love fire”. Moreover, they forget that in the house you need to be not only a good housewife, but also an attractive wife.

An old robe, curlers on the head and a cucumber mask on the face are unlikely to appeal to at least one man, so between buying a blender or cosmetics, perhaps you should choose the second option, and as a gift for the anniversary of your marital relationship, ask your husband not for a new iron, but for French perfume.

Some ladies who live separately from their lover show excessive intrusiveness, calling a hundred times a day and trying to induce action. Giving out love in too large portions is not always the right decision. Try to talk yourself out of meaningless calls, understand that each person has his own personal space and free time, which he can fill not only with you, but also with hobbies, hobbies or work.

Bad experience in past relationships

Failed relationships in the past make many people fear the future. People think that they will fail again with a new partner, they are afraid to open up to feelings, try to protect themselves from possible negative experiences, and therefore do not let love into their hearts. Having stepped on a rake, we try to move it to the far corner or go around it so as not to get another bump.

Few people understand that a valuable lesson can be learned from any problematic situation. No wonder they say that you learn from mistakes.

After looking at your previous relationships from the outside, try to realize your mistakes so as not to repeat them in the future, think about what failed love taught you, and try not only to assess the situation, but also to mentally say goodbye to your past.

Forget that you were once unlucky in love! You are on the threshold of a new life, and future feelings will be more mature and intense.

Bad luck in your personal life

It very rarely happens that the same individual is chronically unlucky in all areas of life. It happens much more often that failures haunt a person either in business or in his personal life. Moreover, bad luck in your personal life can negatively affect other areas of a person’s life. A lack of positive emotions, primarily love, leads to a decrease in labor productivity, the appearance of health problems, a violation of goal setting and incorrectly setting life priorities.

Why you have no luck in your personal life, reasons:

• infantilism (the result of unsuccessful parenting);
• underestimation of oneself;
• fear of new relationships;
• self-hypnosis.

Bad luck in men's personal lives

The reasons for male loneliness are varied, the most common are:

1. Unsuccessful previous experience. Disappointment in a relationship greatly reduces a man’s self-esteem and awakens numerous complexes: isolation, misogyny, misogyny and others.
2. The statement that girls are only interested in material values. Such a conclusion, as a rule, comes from unsuccessful previous relationships, in which the man suffered significant material losses, and the woman did not appreciate his efforts. At the same time, it is not always the lady who demands expensive gifts; sometimes the guy tries to buy love in this way, and in case of failure, accuses the woman of commercialism.
3. Uncertainty in the intimate sphere. Lack of experience, certain physical characteristics, previous failure or a negative reaction from a partner make a man doubt his abilities.
4. Reluctance to adapt to life with another person. Such reluctance is found in older men who have left positive experiences of living together in the past (widowers) or so-called old bachelors.

A sea of ​​bad luck

Bad luck in women's personal lives

Some girls have too high self-esteem and set high demands on men. Each woman has her own ideas about male ideality, and inconsistency with these ideals gives rise to disappointment in the stronger half of humanity and classifying oneself as a loser.

Why girls are haunted by failures in their personal lives, reasons:

1. They are expecting to meet a rich groom. As a rule, young people have not yet accumulated their capital, and wealthy men of advanced age usually have a family that they will provide for in the event of a divorce. Therefore, girls should not expect an instant solution to material problems at the expense of a rich husband, but choose a promising, ambitious young man and create family capital with him.
2. Failed relationships in the past. Women's emotionality and sensitivity do not allow them to quickly overcome disappointment and believe in themselves, and realize their right to a happy personal life. Before entering into a new relationship, a woman analyzes her mistakes and builds her life according to her own rules.
3. Fear of intimate relationships. Some girls are embarrassed by their imperfect appearance, consider themselves not very beautiful and are afraid of male ridicule. Some women who have experienced sexual violence develop a psychological barrier that only a psychologist or a very loving and patient man can cope with.
4. Some divorced women (and not only) do not consider a new relationship with a man vital. They enjoy solitude, independence and self-reliance.

Total bad luck

To get rid of bad luck in your personal life, psychologists recommend:

• analyze parental attitudes and reconsider some life positions;
• accept yourself as an adult responsible for your life;
• do not ignore dating sites and social networks;
• gain confidence in your abilities and your attractiveness;
• constantly monitor your appearance and health;
• do not be afraid of dating and conversations with representatives of the opposite sex;
• communicate naturally, do not show off your inexperience or, conversely, your experience;
• expand your horizons, show interest in art;
• travel and learn foreign languages;
• devote more time to your hobby;
• don't be afraid to experiment.

Getting rid of bad luck

Thus, a person is to blame for constant bad luck. Until he realizes that no one will bring him all the blessings of life on a platter, and success and luck do not fall from heaven, the streak of bad luck will not end. It’s not for nothing that a quote from folk wisdom says: “Whoever fights for happiness, that’s where it tends.”

Why are men unlucky in their personal lives? How to fix the problem?

Men, no less often than women, look for answers to why they have no luck in their personal lives. Many psychological causes do not depend on gender. Singles can have many virtues and still remain single. What are the reasons for bad luck?

Failed previous relationships

Negative experiences from past relationships affect many men. They evaluate a woman after meeting once. Such people often engage in promiscuous relationships, using girls for sex.

If such men come up with the idea of ​​starting a family, most likely they will:

• give the lady checks;
• constantly suspect;
• will turn into pathological jealous people with whom it is impossible to build love.

How to change your life for the better?

The first step with which you will begin to make big changes:

• Find your starting point (honestly with yourself).
• Understand where you are now, in what position (you can burst into tears, beat a pillow, scream).
• Accept the fact that you created all this with your own hands, and only you are able to change the current situation.

Come and look in the mirror. What do you see there?

Our world is a huge mirror. Imagine that you are standing in front of your reflection.

Here you are screaming with all your might. But it turns out that you are shouting at yourself. Yes Yes! At your reflection in the mirror. You are simply trapped.

Do you sincerely wish for it to move differently?

Then start smiling, at least looking at yourself. Act as if you are already happy! After all, there is no reason to think why I am unlucky.

Focus on the positive. Let a beautiful sunny morning be a reason for smile and joy. Delicious breakfast, favorite strong coffee, stylish clothes

Start with the little things, and then you won’t have time to pay attention to the problems.

One of my friends made it a habit to replace the word “problem” with the word “task”. And it becomes much easier to perceive and solve problems.

Do you want to travel? Ask questions. What does a person who is going on vacation do? How is he feeling? What are his thoughts and plans?

Do you want the world to become a better place? Believe me, he will get better. But only when you start with yourself. First of all, from the thoughts in your head.

Types of women who are unlucky in love

Scared Svetochka

Imagine a woman at a party, approached by a handsome stranger. He just came up, and she was already hiding her eyes at the floor, because her basic emotion is fear. She tries to blend in with the crowd, with the wall, to be gray and invisible so that the man will pass by. Often these women unknowingly gain weight because they do not allow themselves to experience emotions. They often hide behind their children: they take them with them everywhere and talk only about them. Sveta behave asexually for men because their biggest subconscious fear is getting into a relationship, because for them it is pain. Such a woman most likely has a problematic relationship with her father: he is either devaluing, tyrannical, or avoidant of affection. Another option: a controlling mother who devalues ​​the girl with her behavior and words. Therefore, as an adult, this woman behaves closed, modestly and is afraid of a lot.

Main fears: showing up, being yourself, being rejected; fear of relationships.

Workaholic Lyudmila Prokofievna

These women are often successful in their careers, they have money, they may be attractive in appearance, but they smell of very tiredness. Lyudmila Prokofievna understands only functional interaction, builds only vertical connections: they are good at learning, as well as teaching, caring for and controlling others. It seems to them that they are valuable only if they can chip in for a mortgage, provide a drill, and raise children. Their main internal question: “Why would you love me if I don’t do this and that?”

As a rule, these women wear the following masks: • “I am strong” – they convey that they can handle it themselves, so there are no strong men next to them; • “I’m smart” or “I’m conscious” – they hide behind intelligence the idea that being smart is difficult and interesting, but any fool can be beautiful; • “I’m ideal” or “I’m needed” - they try to do everything better than everyone else, to be excellent students, they are afraid to admit that they are vulnerable and need help.

There are always weak men next to them, because these ladies interact with their partners according to the “mother-son” type. Therefore, such a woman chooses a convenient and comfortable life partner and “grows” him to suit herself. She gets bored quickly, but such relationships are safe for her because they are controllable.

Lyudmila Prokofievna believes that the ideal woman is the arithmetic mean of a horse, a dog and a mother. Efficient and resilient, like a horse. Faithful as a dog. Caring, like a mother. As a rule, such women have conflicts with their mothers since childhood, so there is no basic trust in the world. And most likely, the image of the father is idealized: either these are daddy’s daughters, or the dad is absent, but his bright, pure image is there.

Main fears: being vulnerable, depending on another, being left alone; fear of betrayal.

Vulgar Snezhana

This is an invisible woman who tries her best to be visible: she wears a bright dress with the deepest neckline, prefers red lipstick, even when taking out the trash. In the company, Snezhana laughs loudest and makes dirty jokes, talks about her skills and victories in bed. So why is she still alone? Because it sells itself as stale goods. Normal men understand that this is an easy prey and are not interested in her. But, as a rule, they attract very tyrannical men, abusers who see that under the war paint lies self-doubt. Snezhans often develop high self-esteem, assert themselves at the expense of those around them, and criticize other women.

The main fears: to be yourself, to be ordinary, the same as everyone else; to be unrecognized, invisible; fear of betrayal.

Heavy Eleanor

She just walked into the room, and everyone already felt the drama and sadness. Eleanor has a lot of expectations from the world and from men, the main phrase: “He must.” These women reek of heaviness and sadness; they are sufferers who see the world in dark colors and do not know how to thank or be open. Often Eleanor has a large burden of grievances, and it becomes a banner that they proudly carry through life and use for manipulation.

Men perceive such women as energy-sucking black holes, so they avoid them. Either the same heavy men, offended by life, or weak ones, for whom it is normal to be close to such a companion, flock to this dark light. Their model is “love is pity”, and these ladies attract those who love to pity them, as a result they only get a shoulder to cry on, but not a man.

Main fears: repeating a mistake, fear of loss, fear of pain and relationships, fear of men.

Children's stereotypes

Many people inherit their parents’ pattern of behavior when choosing a partner and building relationships. As children grow up, the attitude model of the mother or father is deposited on a subconscious level. So, if the father was a drunkard or a tyrant, then the woman will encounter precisely such men in the future. Lonely and frustrated women, completely frustrated in relationships, set an example for their children and instill negative attitudes.

“Unloved” children especially suffer in adulthood. They are not told kind words, are not given gifts, but can be scolded for any reason. Already from childhood, the child develops a feeling of his own inferiority and uselessness. If such a person starts a relationship with a partner and it doesn’t work out, he blames himself. What excuses do people come up with for their own partner who drinks, smokes and leads an antisocial lifestyle?

Children's stereotypes make them underestimate themselves and overestimate their partners. But there is only one life, and you need to live it for your own pleasure, achieving your goals and desires. You should not pay attention to the wrong partners, especially if from the first days of meeting they show their bad habits and do not suit you according to all criteria. It is not necessary to live the way your parents did - everyone builds their own future.

If the relationship begins to copy the negative experiences of the parents, you need to stop and think about why this is happening. There is no point in blaming yourself for the fact that it is impossible to meet a worthy person. It is necessary to realize your individuality, which gives you the right to decide your destiny. Getting rid of stereotypes imposed in childhood will not be easy and sometimes this requires long-term work with a psychologist.

Low self-esteem5

Appearance problems, speech impediments, unfulfilled dreams and much more can lead to an inferiority complex. The guy feels insecure in the company of girls, and if he does achieve one of them, he begins to behave, roughly speaking, like a doormat. If he has low self-esteem, he believes that he is not worthy of a good girl. Allows her absolutely everything, is afraid to express her opinion, refuses to take the position of a leader or at least an equal in the relationship.

This has a negative effect on women - they do not want to bear all the responsibility on themselves.

As a result, conflicts arise due to complexities. If a guy thinks that he is a loser who no one needs, then situations will happen that only confirm this. Therefore, it is important to develop self-love. You can sign up for a sports section. The first successes in this industry will add confidence. Reading literature on the topic, attending social events, and expanding your circle of acquaintances are suitable.

Problems with the fair sex should not always be blamed on the girls themselves. Sometimes the reasons why a guy has no luck with girls lies in his own mistakes.

Message from the Editor

Do you like reading articles about relationships, but don’t often devote time to them? We encourage the desire for new knowledge, and therefore we have prepared several more useful facts on this topic. For example, attractive women married to less attractive men are more likely to have affairs. However, the point is not only infidelity, but the fact that men, when competing with a “weak” opponent, feel like a winner. Interesting, right? And as a “cherry” on the cake, an entertaining, useful fact: both men and women at the first meeting are annoyed when their partner lingers, talks a lot about himself and remembers his exes. Learn and expand your horizons with us!

Where to start improving your life? Methods that work!

So, how will we fix everything:

1. We get rid of what is not beautiful or necessary. Garbage, unloved things and unnecessary trash. You need to clear your space, it helps to restore order in your head as well.
2. After spring cleaning, we surround ourselves with beauty. We make a list, everyone will have their own. Clothes that make you feel your best. And at home too! Decorative elements, even the smallest ones, that make your heart feel warm and good. Photos of loved ones. Delicious and desirable food on chic tableware. At home, at work, on the street. Every day!
3. Create your own colorful world full of pleasures!
4. Visualize your desires. Imagine what you want in the smallest detail, and everything will definitely come true.

Don’t put it in reserve, don’t put it on the mezzanine. Use everything that can bring smiles and pleasure TODAY. After all, today is no less unique than a birthday or December 31st.

Change your approach

You can hear the phrase “I have no luck with girls” from many modern guys. We ask in response:

- And what are you doing? Do you meet people on the street, in clubs, in theaters? - No. -Are you inviting anyone on a date? - No. – Well, do you at least correspond with anyone on the Internet? - Also no. - So how can you be lucky when you do nothing?

This is, of course, an extreme example. Most people, even those who have been unlucky in everything for a long time, still make some effort, but often it comes down to endless repetition of one chosen pattern. This is called “an attempt for show”; it is used by those who subconsciously want to blame the responsibility for their problems on “bad luck”. That is, there was a formal attempt, maybe not just one, but 10, this gives the right to say “I tried, but I wasn’t lucky.” In fact, using the same obviously unworkable scheme is not an attempt, but an excuse.

Destructive thoughts

Surely you yourself understand that the phrase “I’m unlucky in love” is very dangerous, like any other negative thoughts. Esotericists will say: “They themselves attract misfortune.”

Psychologists will say that you tune in to the negative, focus your attention on it and subconsciously perceive any event and your life in general as something bad and inappropriate.

You meet a person and don't let them get too close. There is no complete understanding. You subconsciously look for shortcomings in your partner, and he notices a lack of trust in himself and responds in kind. Just one thought can destroy more and more new novels.

Do you think that by entering into a new relationship, you become happier and forget about bad luck? This is wrong. Such attitudes are here to stay. You can easily verify this.

From time to time in a relationship you have the thought: “This good thing cannot last long. Something will definitely happen soon.” After arguments, you may feel sad with some satisfaction: “I knew it. That's how it should have been. Conflicts began. Well, where would we be without them?

In general, the idea that you are unlucky in love, no matter how you look at it, is destructive, and therefore you need to get rid of it. Whether you are a girl or a guy is completely irrelevant. You can't think like that.

How to become more successful

To be successful, you must recognize opportunity when it comes and grab it. To do this, you need to learn to see connections that others do not notice, train logical thinking, attentiveness and insight, broaden your horizons, develop self-confidence and courage. We tell you how to do this.

Argue

The ability to prove your position develops logic. When selecting arguments, we analyze causes and consequences, and notice non-obvious connections between people, events and objects. But there is no need to constantly run into arguments: you can ruin relationships with family, friends or colleagues. It is better to train in discussion clubs or debates, where your desire to express your point of view will be supported by everyone present.

Ask

Choose any random object and ask yourself three questions about it: “What is it?”, “How does it work?” and “Why is this happening?” Answer them clearly and logically. If you can't, Google it. You will be surprised how many interesting things around you you haven’t noticed before.

Play

To develop logic, you can do it the old fashioned way: solve puzzles, play chess, or play solitaire. Or you can boost your brain with a high-quality computer game. The main thing is not to get too carried away: 30 minutes a day is enough for training.

Richard Wiseman proposed another exercise that develops luck. You need to do something at least once a week that you haven’t gotten around to doing before, or something that for some reason you didn’t want to try. The daily routine can be tiring, and stepping out of your comfort zone will increase your chances of getting lucky in life.

Luck smiles only on those who do not sit still and are not afraid to try new things. A good way to practice your luck is to take part in the New Year's Russian Lotto draw, where a billion rubles are guaranteed to be won. It only takes a couple of clicks to buy a ticket. Who knows, maybe you will become the first lottery billionaire in Russia? I'll be lucky!

Unlucky in love: 4 ways to solve the problem

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It happens that it seems as if everyone around you is in a happy relationship except you. The first attempt to correct this was unsuccessful, the second and third too, and now one’s hands begin to give up and it seems that nothing good will definitely happen. And if it does happen, it will again not happen to you. However, psychologists recommend that a desperate person not lose heart and look at the real reasons why he may not be lucky in love affairs.

Down with pity

The first thing that “psychologists” advise is to remove the most destructive state for a person’s personality, namely self-pity. As soon as a person takes this slippery path and begins to lament how bad he feels and how hard it is to live without love, he instantly becomes even more unattractive to all potential suitors who are ready to mate him. Save yourself and those around you from plaintive groans regarding this topic. This approach will definitely not help matters. But getting out of the state of eternal victim will be quite difficult.

Awareness of your real needs

Another very important point for those who are unlucky in love. Often people don't understand what they really want from a relationship. Some are sure that their goal is to build a serious relationship, get married and have children. However, when on the way they meet a person who wants the same thing, the relationship does not go well. What is the reason? Most likely, the person’s true desires did not coincide with what he conveyed to the world. Perhaps at this stage he only wanted easy, unobtrusive dates and a relaxed pastime. Of course, having met what seemed to him a “suitable” person, he subconsciously built a relationship based on his real desires.

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Therefore, it is very important to ask yourself the question: what do I want? And give an honest answer to it. Even if it is completely different from what your mind tells you.

Mistakes and blunders

Even if now is not the time for a serious relationship, sooner or later, you will want just that. But what to do if past negative experiences haunt you and inspire self-doubt? The answer is simple. Think carefully and, if necessary, write down everything that caused your past failure. After that, analyze the list and decide whether you are ready to try and avoid making such mistakes in the future. It would not be a bad idea to reflect on the model of relationships taken from the parental family. How did your parents live? Was it a full-fledged family or did the marriage undergo a divorce? Think about what you have taken from them into your life. And also what really prevents you from building harmonious and strong relationships with the opposite sex.

Don't make plans

Well, the last piece of advice that will help you not go into prolonged depression after every love failure is to not be fixated. Let's say you've finally met the right person for you and the relationship is in the romantic phase. Try to agree with yourself that you are just trying and if something goes wrong, then so be it. Reassure yourself that nothing serious will happen. Just meetings, just falling in love. This will allow you to relax and breathe a little without expecting too much from these meetings. And then, who knows, perhaps they will develop into a truly strong feeling.

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This is a blog on psychology from a professional psychologist, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Zoom About us/Make an appointment

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Infantilism

Or maybe it’s just too early for you to build a relationship? Are you sure you're old enough for this? Do not look at your passport - there is no truthful answer to this question. The inability to take responsibility for your life is the main sign that you have not yet left childhood. And, unfortunately, this problem can last a lifetime.

If you seriously believe that your partner owes you something: to surround you with comfort, solve all problems, provide money or delicious food with ironed shirts, then, perhaps, you cannot do without the help of specialists.

The inability to get out of the influence of parents also applies here. Adults, seemingly men and women, often turn out to be unsuited to independent decisions and actions. By the way, psychologists consider infantilism one of the personality disorders that requires professional correction.

Unwillingness to take responsibility4

Most often it sounds like this: “Before I start with a girl, I have to earn a million, and also buy a car, a house, apartments for my future children...”. On the one hand, it seems that this is a concern for the future. But in fact, this is not why many men are in no hurry to build a serious relationship. They are simply afraid of responsibility.

If a good girl appears nearby, ready to go through any crisis with her beloved and generally live with her sweetheart in a hut, the guy begins to push her away. “Let’s wait,” “It’s not time yet,” “Don’t rush things,” etc. – these are just another excuse from a boy who is afraid of serious intentions. The partner feels this and leaves. And then it seems that the guy just has no luck with girls.